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“I Laughed So Hard I Think I Peed A Little”: 42 Hilariously Petty Reasons People Got Dumped
Dating means putting yourself out there and meeting people you don’t see eye to eye with. Sometimes, the two of you find a reasonable and civil way to end things, but other times...? Not so much. Jessica Marie asked the internet on Threads, “What’s the pettiest reason you dumped someone? No ‘we were incompatible’ excuses here—just top-tier pettiness in all its glory.” Everyone immediately started sharing their most memorable break-up stories, and I guess it says a lot about what it’s like to be single these days.
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#1
We arranged an ice cream date for our first meeting. I used the word "serendipitous" and he said "How cute, a waitress with a vocabulary" and patted me on the head. I replied "How cute, a man eating ice cream by himself", stood up and left.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
How surprising. A server with a vocabulary. Who'da thunk that? Perhaps someone who wasn't a condescending, classist @ss.
Michael Largey 5 months ago
That word "serendipitous" turned out to be oddly inappropriate here.
E M Gallieshaw 5 months ago
"Serendipitous" fits the occasion, in that, she discovered by chance, early in the relationship, that the two weren't a good fit. That's considered favorable or advantageous; resulting in good for both of them (i.e. neither has to waste time).
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#2
He pushed my cat off the bed after she jumped up to cuddle. No hesitation kicked him out of my house and made his friend come pick his a** up.
Margaret Wartime 5 months ago (edited)
A guy I was seeing once came over to my house for the first time. I introduced him to one of my cats and the first thing he did was bend down and pick my fully adult cat up by the scruff of the neck. I grabbed my cat and kicked him out on the spot. Don’t touch my babies.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
My now-ex told me "Why are you crying? You knew she was old and dying" when I had to euthanize my 19-year-old gray girl. He also said "This cat will ruin your life" when I adopted a void kitten that I found in a parking lot. He later said "It's either me or the cat" about her - I chose the cat XD (I should have ditched him then - but he didn't break up with me after I told him "lol, my cat, no question", and I stupidly thought he accepted that my kitty was part of my life.) He was never physically violent with my pets and *NOW* his BFF is MY tuxedo boy (who also loves him to death, so I let tux boy stay at my ex's when I moved back home since it was the best thing for the cat) - but I've never forgotten how sh!tty he was to me about my other cats in the past.
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That tired person 5 months ago
okay that is not petty at all thats valid dont touch my cat you m**********r
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 5 months ago
how a man treats cats is a great litmus test for how he'll treat women.
WalterWhiteSavannah 5 months ago (edited)
One of the coolest girls i ever dated told me the reason she had a thing for me was because, at a party at her house, I spent half the night ignoring everyone and hanging out with her cat. This isn't petty at all, if someone mistreats my cat they're persona non grata instantly. Edit-her cat was cool as hell too. She lived like 8 blocks from some restaurant who would regularly call them to let them know the cat had ended up inside the restaurant again. My dude never goes outside alone, but those were different times.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
A landlord pushed my cat off the front porch railing, and I chased him down the street, past the police station with cops out front, with a hammer. Oddly, the cops just continued standing there enjoying the live show.
#3
He pouted at me for wearing my doc martens to a bonfire date. We were the same height and he was upset that my docs made me FRACTIONALLY taller than him. I wore 4 inch heels to meet him at the coffee shop to dump him the next day.
Janissary35680 5 months ago
It's not so much fascination as a feeling of intimidation I suspect.
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R1MV4Superleggera 5 months ago
LOL! It reminds me of my 'executio...er, wedding day! My now Wife is 6'4" (I'm a bit more than 6'7") my lil brother is 6'5" and that day, she was wearing heels, witch it made her juuust a bit taller, I always called her in Spanish 'enanita' (shortly) and that day, at the altar, before my sentence was read, she looked at me and my brother and she said: "Who's the enanita now, huh?" My parents, her parents and ALL the guests were laughing! Utterly beautiful day! 😊
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Poor little boy with no self-esteem. Shouldn't be dating until he at least has the ability to tolerate himself.
Scott Rackley 5 months ago
My grandmother was 4 inches taller than my grandfather. He said he wanted tall sons. Wish granted, 4 sons, shortest is 6'1".
#4
Oh yeah, this guy who would’ve been a really good match came over to my house to pick me up to go on a date and my dog, a very sweet pointer, came over and sat really close to his leg and kind of pushed her nose onto his knee for a pet and he took his foot and shoved her away. I was like nope you can leave. We don’t get to go on a date with me if you treat my dog bad.
Giraffe Sitter 5 months ago
Good riddance. If my date’s dog took to me that fast, I’d be flattered.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Maltreatment of any animal, whether it's yours or the mantis mentioned earlier, is one of the biggest red flags for me.
Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago
A person's character can be judged by the way they treat animals and those who are on the lower rungs of the socio - economic ladder.
#5
Had been on maybe 5 dates with this guy.
Back then, I was working with horses, and he picked me up from work.
Was just finishing up with this horse, and it put it's head on my shoulder and rubbed it against my face. I laughed, reached around it's head for a pet and said "yeah, love you, too".
Cue the guy throwing a fit that I never told him that I loved him.
Jealous of a freaking horse.
Instantly lost all respect for him and called it a day.
Nina 5 months ago
So he wanted her to say that after 5 date's? Delulu. And people who are jealous of animals is its own category of 🚩🚩🚩
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Love is learned, so if you didn't have a parent who taught you love, chances are it's an element missing from your vocabulary. I've never told another human I loved them, but I was always telling the animals in my life how much I loved them.
#6
SHE told me my cat was ugly.
Yeah, maybe my cat was ugly at the time, but it wasn’t his fault he got mange. It was a rescue, and a precious little baby.
WalterWhiteSavannah 5 months ago
I mean tbh I've seen ugly cats and ugly dogs, but the ugly somehow makes them stand out and be even more cute.
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Kim Kermes 5 months ago
I can call my cat an a s s h o l e, you may not. Same as making fun of the various military branches, no civilians allowed.
Gen X Feral 5 months ago
Seriously! Calling someones baby ugly is fighting words
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Riley Quinn 5 months ago
My brain to mouth filter is broken, so my response would've been "you're ugly". But this reminds me of Andy Samberg's absolute hatred for Frisbee, Seth Meyers' Italian Greyhound.
#7
He told me a girl has never ghosted him before and he always was the one who did the ghosting… next day I blocked him and never spoke to him again bc why not.
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
How could anyone pass up a dare like that? He practically invited you to ghost him.
#8
High school, very short lived boyfriend. He's walking me to my bus. I saw a mantis just chilling on this brick wall. I was super excited about it, as it's my favorite creature. I was trying to gently get it. This guy takes the side of his fist and squished it, right in front of me.
I was so pissed off, I could have squished him just like that mantis, if I were big enough. Dumped him on the spot.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
Probably going to have a lot of trouble getting someone admitted for squashing a bug. Might be able to get them admitted for using their big hand to squash a bug that large, though. They're not exactly the smallest bug, More importantly, who squashes praying mantises? They just sit there, not being a problem. which is more than what most praying humans can say.
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Riley Quinn 5 months ago
You could've kicked in the nuts with all your strength. It's incredible how that one move solves problems.
jimmy pop 5 months ago
Found a baby mantis in front of my gfs apartment. Took it in because it's invasive and when they're grown they catch hummingbirds, which she sometimes has in the yard. Put it in a container and went to an animals market the next day to get a terrarium. She was so cute and curious, crawling all over our arms whenever we took her out. What an ahole, they're such beautiful creatures.
Cydney Golden 5 months ago
Isn't it illegal to k**l a praying mantis? I thought they were protected.
#9
Bad grammar also gets me, if English is your first language and you don’t know the difference between there, their and they’re or your and you’re, instant ICK.
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 5 months ago
honestly, i can let it slide if someone's just bad at spelling or dyslexic, but its the people who brag about never reading a book that give me the ick
R1MV4Superleggera 5 months ago
Well, in my case, I speak and write, fluently (apart from English) Spanish, German, Italian and a bit of Portuguese, so...sometimes I mix-up some words in writing
Jesha 5 months ago
Follow that up with "I'm sure you understand what it's like getting multiple languages mixed-up" and you will absolutely devastate the English language purists. Wonder how big of a problem this is on not-english websites, like if there's strict grammarians in a comment thread on boredpanda dot pt.
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Don Adams 5 months ago
Do you give prospective dates a written test? How could you possibly know this based on conversation?
BeesEelsAndPups 5 months ago
Oh yes. There's a phone screen followed by eight rounds of interviews, a coding test, a written exam, and a follow-up with provided references. She works as a recruiter for a software company.
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Ravenkbh 5 months ago
Favorite group! Wait - what were we talking about? there-6887...928027.png 
Gracie Mae 5 months ago
You don't have to be a scholar or even have a PhD, but the basics are pretty mandatory
#10
First date with a guy. He was staying with his mate & his wife, who I knew well, so when we went back to his for coffee I didn’t think twice. Shortly after we got there I went to the bathroom. 3 minutes later I came back, friends had vanished and he was naked on the sofa. He poured grenadine all over his body and said ‘come and get it baby’. I laughed so hard I think I peed a little. I left without actually speaking
LooseSeal's $10 Banana 5 months ago
The Naked Man - it works 2 out of 3 times.
Load More Replies... #11
We were on our second date and he started acting really weird. I asked him if he was OK and he started rubbing his stomach and then completely changed tone into a baby voice and was moaning at me that his “tummy hurt” - I pointed towards the bathroom and I said maybe you just need to use the restroom? He proceeded to writhe in pain and decline saying “issokay it’s just a widdo tummy ache” I was so horrified I closed out our tab and walked home lol bye baby bop 🤙🏻
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Adults who baby talk, unless it's with animals or babies, is gross. Gross to the extent that it makes me angry.
JayWantsACat 5 months ago
I absolutely HATE baby/whiny talk. I don't mean whining, which I don't love but can understand from time to time. But whiny and baby talk are absolutely NOPEs for me.
katiekat0214 5 months ago
This is actually a f****h. I know what it is, and completely do not get it at all. Major ICK.
#12
He asked me to cook dinner on our second date, then swapped out all of the ingredients I picked for “healthier options”… and then he said the food was bland… like BROTHER THAT'S YOUR FAULT! Never spoke to him again.
Glen Ellyn 5 months ago
I wouldn't have agreed to cook dinner for a second date, but whatever. After dating a guy for a couple of months, I invited him over for dinner. He thought it was a compliment when he said, "This is good, but it would better if instead you ...blah, blah, blah." I heeded that red flag right away. Trying to change me or the way I do things is dealbreaker. Buh-bye!
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
Can't really complain that the food tastes like wood when you're responsible for turning it into the ship of Theseus.
Lupita Nyong'heaux 5 months ago
yeah, you lost me at "asked me to cook dinner on our second date," cuz what??
#13
This is more than 20yrs ago… We were out for dinner with a group of friends…He peeled my prawns for me…. And then asked me to lick his fingers (with the prawn juice) in front of the whole table…. Friends still talk about it till this day! 🤢
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
I don't know if they've invented the color this flag is, yet. Still, I mean, run away at full speed, but I have to admit I'm kind of curious if he tried to sell this one with that intriguing single-eyebrow lift. Like how do you even sell this one?
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 5 months ago
I would've been repelled by someone preparing my food as if I was a child or an incompetent. He wouldn't have had the opportunity to ask me to lick his fingers bc I would've been in a cab on my way home.
#14
Couple dates in with a guy and we decided to split a small pizza. He ordered whatever he wanted on his half (some crazy extra hot peppers and pepperoni concoction that I had no interest in) and I ordered what I wanted on my half. I’m one slice in and hungryyy and this guy reached over and grabbed a slice off my half and immediately chowed down. I said what are you doing? He said he wanted to try it and didn’t think I’d eat all my slices. Boy, bye.
Huddo's sister 5 months ago
Probably depends if it was an American small or anywhere else :)
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Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Had a housemate who would help himself to the other's food. I warned him, quite clearly, not to touch my food. He did. I stuck my fork in his hand. His bad table manners and ignorance of personal boundaries not only landed him in ER, but also got him kicked out of the house.
Gracie Mae 5 months ago (edited)
idc what a woman says about how much she eats, anyone that knows ANYthing knows you don't get between a woman and her food!
#15
He got mad at me because he brought me around his friends and I was friendly and talked with them after in the car ride home he said “idk why you even talked to them your a woman no one cares about your opinion” I told him to pull over and I walked home, and never saw him again also he was 🤥 so that was another reason.
The Other Guest 5 months ago
I don't know what word the emoji is supposed to stand for; can someone help an old lady out here, please?
White Sauce Hot Sauce 5 months ago
Liar. The emoji has a growing nose like Pinocchio.
Load More Replies... Giraffe Sitter 5 months ago
You should have punched him and said “how do you like that opinion?”
Glen Ellyn 5 months ago
Wow. He's lucky he's alive. And probably still complaining about how he can't get a woman to go out with him. 🙄
Riley Quinn 5 months ago
Just out of curiosity, was this chauvinist from this century or reanimated from a previous one?
General Anaesthesia 5 months ago
She quoted an ignοramοսs, so "your" makes sense.
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#16
35 years ago, Went on a date with a model who wore open toes high heels so she could be a little taller. Np, I’m 6’3.. BUT she had knarly, ugly feet with bent toes and long nails and painted them bright yellow. I’m not a feet guy, but I couldn’t date someone that looked like she could grab salmon out of the river if she hung her feet off the doc.
Binny Tutera 5 months ago
Models have to wear ridiculous shoes that are awful for their feet. They should save that kind of shoe for when someone PAYS them to.
#17
He thought raccoons laid eggs. Nope. Too stupid.
#18
In middle school he broke up with me because his friends told him to. he asked me out again a week later and i said yes so i could dump him by the end of the day 💃🏻
Reemerger 5 months ago
Almost like watching someone peering down the barrel of the loaded gun they're cleaning...
#19
I woke up to text with a video of him, drawing on a whiteboard, telling me how I should prioritize him versus the other obligations in my life, including work, school, and family.  when I preface the week saying that it was finals week and I had to focus on studying so we had to cancel our date night and couldn’t go to the gym w him every night. We had been together four months…
Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 5 months ago (edited)
I'd write on my own whireboard "Go F@#k Yourself, you overly controlling loser"
Troy Turner 5 months ago
Trash and trash bags go so well together you can take them out to the dumpster
#20
I was starting to date a very talented architect. We were out for a walk on a partly cloudy but hot summer day. As a cloud moved in front of the sun, I mentioned something about how much more pleasant it was walking in the shadow of the cloud. She insisted that cloud’s could not have shadows because they aren’t solid objects.
Later, I heard from one of colleagues that she was a flat earther.
Zoe Vokes 5 months ago
What is the darker area on the ground called when the sun is behind a cloud then?
WindySwede 5 months ago (edited)
This is why we need education! Matter are solid, even if it's water vapour. (Edit: as in the molecules) 👍 any evidence shows the earth is a ball, a spinning ball, without a firmament. Stop believing tiktok or your theist friend. 👍
Svenne O'Lotta 5 months ago (edited)
She was an architect. She had education. She was just dumb as bricks.
Load More Replies... #21
In my head this isn’t petty and there were other things that added onto this, I had an ex who kept sticking his tongue in my mouth when we kissed. Not in a hot way, like he’d do it to be funny and quickly poke the tip of his tongue in my mouth. I told him that I did NOT like it and asked him not to do it again. He agreed and NEXT DAY he did it again. I asked him why and he said “I thought it wouldn’t be a big deal”. F**k that dude, if I told you no then don’t do it. Weird asf.
Roxy222uk 5 months ago
Yuck, she doesn’t want to end up owning the tip of his tongue
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Lene 5 months ago
I had one once who thought it was funny to blow as hard as he could into my mouth when we kissed. Like... I'd think we were opening our mouths for the tongues to meet.... but he saw it as an opportunity to blow really hard into my mouth. It was NOT a nice thing to do. I broke up with him and I didn't like to kiss for a loooooong time after that. 😠
Megalodon Meg 3 months ago
I do this to my husband when he forgets to give me a kiss before we leave for work but if he asked me to stop I would.
#22
I ghosted a fwb because he said “I love that I don’t have to care about your feelings or your life”.
It wasn’t untrue, but he didn’t have to f**kin say it out loud lol.
For weeks he begged me to respond to him because he was “worried”.
Nina 5 months ago
Yeah, if he doesn't care about the feelings or life of his friends, that's a bit concerning
Load More Replies... Lene 5 months ago
I ghosted a fwb because he only wanted to come over to get a bj. And then he'd just leave again. Made me feel like a free s*ut. And also, he had this messed up idea to keep his different friendgroups seperated so when I became friends with people in his other friendgroups, he'd panic. Totally. I did not like that behaviour. He moved to Finland and seems to be doing some music-philosophy studies of some kind there.
WindySwede 5 months ago
"Your life".....? Run, and block! Hope he didn't know where you lived!
#23
He asked a homeless person for directions when I already knew where we were going and had stated so and we were heading to the concert. Never saw him again after that night.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
You fool. That may have been the only man in existence willing to stop and ask for directions. We need him alive for study.
#24
Went to my ex’s church with him…and then he had the Holy Ghost and started foaming out the mouth….I dumped him the next day! Foaming out the mouth was so unnecessary and dramatic!🙄🥴
Margaret Wartime 5 months ago
I love how every single person who leaves those Evangelocal churches admits straight up that everyone’s faking that dramatic BS in church 😂 they look ridiculous pretending to speak in tongues and foaming from the mouth etc when you know they’re just faking.
WindySwede 5 months ago
Foaming? 😳 Bit if they don't fake, they probably would "not belive hard enough and will go to hell" ?
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Margaret Wartime 5 months ago
Have you ever tried to foam at the mouth on purpose? It’s not easy 😂 I imagine they practiced in front of a mirror first
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Stomach salts are a fabulous way to foam at the mouth. Especially if you throw them up because your stomach pain was not in fact reflux...
#25
We were trying to have a make out session and he grabbed at my b**bs like they were… I don’t even know. Just using bear claws to touch them. He’s in his late 30s, early 40s. Would’ve expected that when I was 14. Instant ick.
Nina 5 months ago
Dang, at some point you'd expect them to have a bit more finesse than a freakkng claw machine.
Load More Replies... Lady Chelsea (LadyChelseaoftheVoid) 5 months ago
what, you dont like when people crab-claw your b***s? 😅
#26
He was a French man. From Paris. I am VERY into cheese- like he even picked me up for a date from a famous cheese shop in NYC where I volunteered with the cheese classes.
He had to go to Paris for a week and I asked him to bring me some cheese if he wouldn’t mind. He brought back some Baby Bell and Laughing Cow.
Margaret Wartime 5 months ago
As a deeply passionate cheese aficionado, I support OP’s decision to dump him 😭
Tobias Reaper 5 months ago
sounds to me like he forgot and just bought them from the shop
Load More Replies... Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
This is the cheese-lover equivalent of tipping someone a penny. I LIKE Baby Bell and Laughing Cow, and even I'd upset by this.
#27
1) That clown ate my chicken sandwich while I was asleep, persuaded me I left it somewhere and helped me look for it. But I knew EXACTLY where I’d left it.
2) “Shhhhhhh”ed me in my own home bcz I asked a question while we were watching tv.
(Both were with the same person and within 24 hours of the second example said person was told to leave me house and that was the breakup)
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago (edited)
First one's a red flag. Second one is totally OP's fault. Annoying habits are still annoying when done in your own home. Not as annoying as stealing someone's sandwich, though. Honestly, who gaslights someone over a sandwich.
WalterWhiteSavannah 5 months ago
Nah... if you're spending time watching a show or movie in a home with someone your dating it is pretty natural / expected to have some conversation during said show or movie. If a girl expected dead silence any time we watched something together I'd be finding a new girl tbh. I mean there's a line, non stop talking is annoying, but the odd question or comment is completely normal.
Load More Replies... #28
This isn’t petty but rather somewhat gross. This otherwise normal hot guy ended up having some sort of love affair with an otter at his zoo. He confessed the whole thing and naturally I was concerned for the otter 🦦 so I called the zoo and they already knew everything and he was blacklisted FOR LIFE. So gross and despicable. So he arrived to pick me up (I was young) and I screamed out the window “go away I’ll never be the animal you want”. Damn my childhood was wild.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
It took me way too long to see what you did there, but I got it eventually.
Load More Replies... Svenne O'Lotta 5 months ago
That's otterly ridiculous. I really hope OP found an otter boyfriend after this one, they otter respect themselves more than this.
#29
He started doing push ups by the bed the next morning. Like hella early the next morning.
And he made sure I knew he was doing pushups by my bed hella early in the morning.
#30
My name is Jenny, and he always pronounced it like Forest Gump. 🙄
Michael Largey 5 months ago
"Jenny" doesn't sound anything like "Forest Gump". Not even close.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Guilty of doing this to some friends some times... mostly when they are doing stupid things though when drunk.
#31
1. Told my friend she was too tall and that’s why he wouldn’t date her. Asked me out, I went on one date and then told him I couldn’t continue because he was 5’ 11” and I couldn’t date men under 6’
2. Would not shut up about the supremacy of vim and Python
3. Emailed me a PowerPoint of his sexual preferences before our first date so I could be prepared. Got mad when I asked if I could set the mood for our evening and played “Be Prepared” from the lion king on loop while singing along.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
2 is not meh. Wars have been started for less offensive statements. Damned Python youngins and their lack of proper type enforcement. Back in my day, True and False were constant values and s**t would have hit the fan if you tried to set True to equal false. (They did actually fix this, as of... I think Python 2.something? Still WHY WAS THIS EVER A THING.) AND ANOTHER THING-
Load More Replies... KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
3 is a world of red flags. He doesn't want dates, he just wants to s**g.
#32
He held a fork like a shovel. I was picturing eating at a fancy restaurant with that and shuddered.
*photo is a reenactment*
😂
Susie Elle 5 months ago
I know a lot of people who hold their forks and spoons like shovels and I cannot deal with it lmao
The Other Guest 5 months ago
You'd probably die of secondhand embarrassment watching me eat: fork in left fist, cut the bite, twist arm so hand is fingers/palm up & fork tines are pointed at my face. Eat bite. (My theory is, as the youngest of four, my parents were tired of the whole "teach the baby to eat with cutlery" nonsense and said, "Meh, good enough" LOL) I've tried multiple times to use a fork "correctly" and it's just so awkward!
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 5 months ago
Lack of a decent upbringing. It's really disgusting, like people who chew with their mouth open.
eMp Tee 5 months ago
I eat my peas with honey. It makes the peas taste funny, but it keeps them on the knife.
Sly Schlang 5 months ago
Haha my dad always says that. Are you from Germany?
Load More Replies... Denise Melek 5 months ago
The girlfriend of a friend of my boyfriend ate like that Also she was 18 and he 27 and a couple since 5 years. She said nothing, just laughed a lot, only ate meat and drank something like cheap Bailey's. The whole east German redneck experience.
Cheeto Dust 5 months ago
Just saw someone doing that with a fork in each hand at a fine dining restaurant.
#33
He was very skinny and tried lifting me up one day to prove that he's been building muscles. We both fell down.
#34
I forgot his last name and then too much time passed and it was too awkward to ask.
camomooey 5 months ago
You didn't like him that much to begin with, or you would have remembered.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
This is... impressive levels of thoughtlessness. I'd say it's a big red flag to date someone without knowing their name, but honestly, I have no frame of reference for how big of a flag this is, because I didn't actually think could produce a red flag this big. I'm going to need an entirely new system of classification after this.
Load More Replies... #35
Not me but a friend once finished with her boyfriend suddenly; I asked her why and she told me. “He said he didn’t like spiders.” 😂
DC 5 months ago
Valid reason! Spiders are cool. Hating them shall be punished by squishing the disgusting twoleg atrocitiy with internal digestion ... they're gross.
Gadaffi Duck 5 months ago
I was a hater, my husband loves them. I didn't want to be the reason he couldn't indulge his passion so I surprised him with 2 jumping spider babies one bday. I watched them grow and then I got brave enough to order a baby tarantula for Christmas. 1 year later we have 8 jumpers and 10 tarantulas and I've held all but 3. Still s**t myself with house spiders tho.
Load More Replies... #36
I don’t know if it was petty, but the snoring became intolerable. 😴
sofacushionfort 5 months ago
“Laugh and the world laughs with you. Snore and you sleep alone.”
Learner Panda 5 months ago
Snoring can be a sign of ill health. Sleep apnoea is something that should be taken seriously.
Anthony Elmore 5 months ago
It should, but it's pretty hard to take that into account when you just started dating someone.
Load More Replies... Sly Schlang 5 months ago
I sound like someone is cutting down a whole forest. 😭 My lovely partner said he doesn't hear anything 🤣
JayWantsACat 5 months ago
I'm a SUPER light sleeper so I have almost zero tolerance for snoring. If it happens after we were drinking all night or were exhausted from a long day. Othwerise I NEED MY SLEEP.
Trisec Tebeakesse 5 months ago
My wife sounds like a squadron of B-29s on the way to Tokyo....but then we've been together for 35 years, so you adapt. :-)
#37
He said my poetry was too sad and I needed to write more happier things. I knew then he didn’t understand me at all and never would.
That tired person 5 months ago
this isnt petty if ur gonna date u need someone who understands ur hobbies. They dont have to share them, but just understanding them is so important in a relationship
Ace 5 months ago
This; isn't; you're; you; your. Writing like that would be enough for me to break up with someone. Is that petty enough?
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sofacushionfort 5 months ago
A mild compliment is the only socially acceptable response to another’s creative expression
#38
He said “irregardless”.
Reemerger 5 months ago
Some say it is acceptable because language evolves. I think this is a step in the wrong direction.
Don't listen to me 5 months ago (edited)
Google gives from Merriam Webster dictionary. Is irregardless a word? Yes. It may not be a word that you like, or a word that you would use in a term paper, but irregardless certainly is a word. It has been in use for almost 200 years, and is employed by a large number of people across a wide geographic range and with a consistent meaning
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#39
I still regret it to this day, but in my early 20s I ghosted someone after a couple dates b/c I didn’t have a car of my own (I was driving around my moms car), and I was too embarrassed to admit it. That, & I had moved back in with my parents.
Early 20s me was a dumb**s & undiagnosed w/ chronic anxiety lol.
#40
Getting ready for a date. We agreed to meet halfway from both our houses.
Me: can we meet at (other restaurant)? It has something I like.
Him: Sure. I noticed its much closer to you. ( It was at the other end of street of original place) eyeroll.
Stopped getting ready and had a bubble bath.
#41
He kept wanting to text during my nap time.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
"airplane mode"... something I have to do every night now because some group chats like to kick off at 10pm when I am getting ready for bed.
Sly Schlang 5 months ago
OP forgot the word "sacred". He kept wanting to text during my sacred nap time.
KatSaidWhat 5 months ago
Nap time should be a quintessential part of every day life. Do you ask your grandparents how old they are if they take a nap.
Load More Replies... #42
He put soap in my cast iron pan.
Kim Kermes 5 months ago
Cast iron can an# should be washed with soap and water, brushed lighting oil, and heated for 10 minutes. Great grandmammas would never have put away an unwashed pan.
Becky Samuel 5 months ago
The idea that you can't use soap on cast iron because it will destriy the seasoning has been well and truly debunked. It used to be true in our grandparents time, when the soap was lye soap and had the remnants of harsh chemicals in it, but modern dishwasher detergent won't touch the seasoning on your pan.
WindySwede 5 months ago
I do it every cooking, and just reaseasoning it after. And when making something stew-like, the seasoning dissappear anyway. But here he could have asked before since it wasn't his pan..
Load More Replies... #43
Honestly I was just tired of talking to men so I stopped lol.
#44
I once broke up with a guy that used to scratch or adjust his balls all the time. We dated for like two weeks. I noticed he was mentally forcing himself not to in public which is why I didn’t notice at first. It was a weird amount of times he would do this. I think about him and if his prostate is ok sometimes that was like 20 years ago 😂😭
#45
He buzzed his hair 😭 I was in 8th grade, he had swoopy emo hair. Immediately lost feelings lol.
#46
I texted him Good Night 💕
He texted back Chow Babe.
#47
Her voice. She literally sounded like Minnie Mouse, and she warned me it would be a problem before we even met. I tried to stick it out, not wanting to be petty, but duuuuuuude.... 🤦♂️
Serena Myers 5 months ago
I have complained that some of the AI voices used in YouTube shorts sound like Minnie Mouse on speed. I am ignored, as I should be!
#48
Ok. This was like 15 years ago when I was in my 20s and thought I wanted kids one day; I've grown a lil bit, so don't judge me, BUT I ghosted a dude the night he showed me a pic of his kid because the kid was funny looking, and my 20 something year old logic was like, "If I marry him and we have kids, there's a chance my kids can come out ugly," and that was a risk I just wasn't willing to take. 😬😂
#49
I lived in SF and there was no parking by his place and always had to park and walk up hill to his apt.
#50
So insecure and so contrarian, as a combo, that on episode 1 of star trek next generation he goes "this show is only made up of attractive people" I pause it, deadpan look at him, "the main character is an old bald man", and then press play again. i got rid of him later.
Ace 5 months ago (edited)
C'mon, they don't get much more attractive than Captain Picard. Anyway, Patrick Stewart was only 47 when he first appeared in that role.
The Other Guest 5 months ago
It's weird to think that Wil Wheaton is now older than Sir Patrick was when the show first aired.
Load More Replies... #51
My friend dumped her boyfriend because I was dumping my boyfriend so we could both have fun being single.
Kit Black 5 months ago
Sounds like the best thing that could have happened to him...
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#52
He pronounced the “L” in salmon when ordering once.
Serena Myers 5 months ago
Doesn't everyone say samon rather than sal mon? Apparently not!
Load More Replies... Michael Largey 5 months ago
I only pronounce one of the l's in "llama", but my wife still loves me.
Jesha 5 months ago
It really depends on region. Up here, it's like SEH-min but with a little bit more of where the 'a' is like the a in cat.
Load More Replies... #53
He attempted to make me breakfast to “prove he can cook”— girl, the bacon was burnt to a crisp, the eggs was rubbery, and the “french toast” was American 🤦🏿♀️
LongFang 5 months ago
You harsh... I mistakenly ate cat paté once & just caterwauled for a week...I'd love if a gal that would take the time & effort to make me breakfast...
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#54
His head shape. I tried my hardest to look past it but I just got annoyed every time I looked at him.
#55
He told me he would do my laundry so i woke up the next morning for my second double in a row and the laundry wasn’t done, broke up w/ him the same day 😭😭
#56
He shaved his beard for the first time since i'd known him and it gave me the biggest ick.
Margaret Wartime 5 months ago (edited)
My boyfriend is very handsome and has had a gorgeous beard his entire life and when he shaves it (once in a blue moon, it’s a very rare event) his dog starts barking at him 😂 he goes from looking like a 31 year old tattooed bearded tough guy to looking 16. It’s adorable 😂 but it can be jarring
WalterWhiteSavannah 5 months ago
I've been told I can pull off a beard exceptionally well but look nearly as good without one... but to me I look awful clean shaven. Like so bad lol. Stubble is best or a medium beard... once grew it halfway down my torso and when I saw a pic from back then I was shocked. At the time I hadn't realized I looked like a deranged hobo serial killer.
TheElderNom 5 months ago
My father has had a beard my entire life and for each year he looks more and more like santa claus but with angry eyebrows. But imagine my shock when he trimmed his beard and accidentally did it too short so he had to trim it all short (like 2 mm) and I for the first time saw the shape of his face. It was so jarring. Also he has a cleft chin, I didn't know that, I'd probably be happier not knowing.
#57
Instead of walking down the stairs he would jump off.
Serena Myers 5 months ago
Good luck with our stairs, he would have either castrated himself or knocked himself out on the stair lift!!
#58
My excuse for breaking up with him was that he was too presumptuous in calling me his GF so early without talking to me abt it. But while that did irk me, what really turned me off was seeing and hearing his “O” sounds and facial expressions. It was like an animal being slaughtered. I can still see it if I close my eyes. *shudder*. Petty? Yes. It’s not his fault. He was a great guy tho. I just…couldn’t. Just no.
#59
He came to visit for a weekend (we lived in different states), brought a bottle of scotch and took home the bottle with what was leftover.
Dog Mom to Zoe 5 months ago
I dated a guy briefly that would do the same thing. Anything he brought to a party, he would take back if it wasn't all drank or eaten. On top of that, he was immendsley immature.
#60
I went on a date with a guy who showed up carrying a washcloth. He was sweating without exerting any physical activity. It was a no for me.
Ronnie Beaton 5 months ago
Hmm, I'll admit to carrying a bandanna in a pocket to mop the perspiration off my bald head. But an actual washcloth?
#61
I didn’t like how soft his fingers felt when he held my hand 🙃
BAN CAPITAL LETTERS 5 months ago
This article is called "83 Hilariously Petty Reasons People Got Dumped". They're all supposed to be petty.
Load More Replies... LongFang 5 months ago
I'm in IT. I've done multiple jobs before I found this passion. I got made fun of by ol'timers/ol' style Fam... Soft hands... No hard work huh ? I transferred within IT to avoid burning out for the sake of my little one. They don't know me, they don't known what I've done/doing as a civilian in the field. I'm no angel... Soft hands is a bother ? Look into the heart.
#62
He posted a shout out thanking his sis for loaning him money …
#63
She had a very thin upper lip and when we would kiss it felt like the top of my mouth was inside her mouth it felt so weird I just couldn't.
#64
Not me, my girlfriend. She dumped a guy she was dating when she saw processed American cheese squares in his fridge.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
I guess OP's gf would dump me too - I grew up eating Kraft and Velveeta squares (we were poor) and I still like them to this day.
Ace 5 months ago
You can eat them if you want to, but please don't call them cheese.
Load More Replies... #65
I told him on our first date that Mac and cheese is like my favorite food and I love making a good homemade baked Mac and cheese so for the second date he asked me over to his house so he could make me dinner. He literally made pasta and then dropped A BLOCK OF CHEDDAR on top and tried to just mix it around to get it to melt 😭
#66
I dated a German girl 10 out of 10 absolutely f**king stunning. She was a model in Germany for 10 years like runways and she had this really thick German accent and she really liked dirty talk. It’s kind of hard to get in the mood when she’s talking to you and it sounds like H*tler in introducing The Olympic games… I had to end it.
That tired person 5 months ago
wow. just.. wow. I want to say so much stuff to OP but I cant. im speechless...
BAN CAPITAL LETTERS 5 months ago
Would you rather OP stick it out and ignore the issue until it gets bigger or when the relationship gets more serious? Who you date is the one thing you should be picky about. You're allowed to have preferences, and you're allowed to break up with people if they aren't exactly what you want.
Load More Replies... #67
A long time ago. He slipped on the bleachers at a football game. It wasn't him falling that was the issue, its the way he fell that embarrassed me. I really wish I could explain it but I was a teenage girl and he got teased about that fall throughout high school so I know I was not trippen 😂
sofacushionfort 5 months ago (edited)
I wonder where so many men learned to never show weakness or vulnerability in front of a woman
#68
We were going to watch tv, so he connected his phone hotspot to his xbox then logged in to his moms Netflix account (he didn't even have his own profile) 😩
Don't listen to me 5 months ago
Said Not his own Profile. So not his own selection of good programs, just his mother's oldie stuff.
Load More Replies... #69
In high school a guy in my loose friend group bet my best guy friend that he could get me to date him. For $5. My friend took the bet then told me about it. I told him he’s gonna lose the bet.
Not only did I go out with him, I dated him for a month - long enough for him to take me to his senior prom (I was a sophomore, he was a senior) in a limo. Then I dumped him.
Served him right for placing a cheap bet on me. 😆 Last I saw on him he was ✨ still ✨ working at Best Buy. At 40+.
#71
I was talking to this one guy and he kept calling me ‘Boo.’ I was lowkey offended but also confused like, why was that even considered a term of endearment to him? I ended up canceling the date we had planned, haven’t spoken to him since and I definitely don’t regret it. Who calls someone Boo? I was honestly baffled by that.
HeavyMetalHeart 5 months ago
That was a common term of endearment for a while. I get not liking it but weird they were so baffled by it.
Huddo's sister 5 months ago
I would hate that too (even though I know it's a common term of endearment) and also babe. They just make me feel weird.
#73
He laid in his bed on ft with me right after the gym, no shower, no change of clothes. Laying in bed in your sweaty outside clothes is diabolical.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
So.. he was laying in his OWN bed in his own home... on FaceTime with OP; OP wasn't even at his house or in the bed with him.... I agree that one shouldn't lay in bed in one's potentially dirty "outside" clothing, but OP was on FaceTime with this dude, not even in his house, and broke up with him over him laying down on his own bed in his normal clothes?
BAN CAPITAL LETTERS 5 months ago
Trivial things like lying in your bed in dirty clothes vs not letting dirty clothes touch your bed are often indications of fundamental differences in habit and thinking. Right now he's in his own bed, but in the future it may be THEIR bed, and fixing a difference like this will be so much messier. They're dating, which is all about seeing whether or not you're compatible with each other. They're not married. You should be allowed to break up with someone for reasons other than major abuse without being judged by people who know nothing about your situation. Also, this article is called "Hilariously Petty Reasons People Got Dumped". We don't need to see a comment under every post saying "this is so petty". That's literally the whole point of the article.
Load More Replies... #74
He smoked Newports and I smoked Marlboros. I couldn't be with someone I couldn't share a cigarette with.
THIS WAS OVER 20 YEARS AGO DO NOT SMOKE KIDS IT WAS A DIFFERENT ERA.
#75
He made me promise not to ghost him so I then felt obligated to 😭
#76
I asked him a hypothetical question just to see how he would react. I asked how he’d feel if i were to start selling nsfw content. He said he wouldn’t like it bc “whenever he would see my body it wouldn’t be special anymore bc other ppl have seen it”. Dumped him on the spot.
Jesha 5 months ago
Guys don't tend to like pick mes, either. Not a lot of people do. Food for thought, mm?
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WindySwede 5 months ago
I guess he wanted to own her, and I say that only because of "it wouldn’t be special anymore"
Michael Largey 5 months ago
Two people being special - or even exclusive in some ways - to each other does not imply any form of ownership.
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Caffeinated Ape 5 months ago
"not safe for work"; adult/séxual content; R18;
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Evo 5 months ago
so you dumped him over his answer to a HYPOTHETICAL question that YOU asked..
Michael Largey 5 months ago
Answering hypothetical questions can get you in trouble. Husband (H) and wife (W) talking. W: "Honey, if I died, would you remarry?" H: "I might. W: "Would she drive my car?" H: "Well, I suppose so." W: "Would she wear my jewelry?" H: "If she liked it, I guess so." W: "Would she use my golf clubs?" H: "No, she's left-handed."
Load More Replies... #77
My first college girlfriend. I woke up in her dorm one day and she was standing next to the bed and I didn’t realized she was knock-kneed. I avoided her for days until I just finally ended it 🦵🏽
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
So she had a physical issue she couldn't help having and OP dumped her for it? That's not "petty", that's shallow.
Miki 5 months ago (edited)
Would you date someone with a face you don't like? (to be honest I agree- knee thing sounds stupid)
Load More Replies... #78
Left a 15% tip at a restaurant.. I don’t even go that low for bad service and ours was great…. boy bye..
#79
He DICED. MY HEIRLOOM. TOMATOES . On a HOLIDAY. For CAPRESE. I was aghast 😂 Ofc broke up with him the next day and forgot it but a friend jus reminded me, “that time you dumped that guy bc he diced the heirloom tomatoes,” 😂😂😂
EXCUSE me, but this was AFTER I let him pick me up from the airport, he insisted. He had brought roses and “champagne” bc I like those things.
It was Korbel. I had to convince him it was madly illegal for me to drink it in the backseat while he played chauffeur. Korbel.
jonesnori 5 months ago
I don't understand the problem with the tomatoes. Was OP saving them for sandwiches? Because a caprese is a great use of tasty, tasty tomatoes. They're usually sliced, not diced, but that shouldn't affect the flavor.
WindySwede 5 months ago
But they were heirloom! /jk (and not allowed for passengers to dri nk, while the driver is sober?
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#80
I told him I wanted to see him without his mustache so he suprised me and shaved it off. My vag got drier then the Sierra when I saw him. That was a nope.
#81
We weren’t officially dating, but had been “seeing” each other for about a month. He came over to hang out. No big deal; however, he decided to tell me when he arrived at my place that he doesn’t like to drive at night and was going to stay at my place. That was a big ol’ nope from me, but I didn’t say anything right away. We hung out and when it got dark I made him go home. After that, I stopped responding to his messages. 🤷🏼♀️
Cathleen Cummings 5 months ago
Why wouldn't OP tell him that immediately, so he could leave before dark? jerk move.
#82
I found out he was 1 day younger than me. I don't date children 😴🥴
#83
Dated a guy who told me he could cheat on me and I'd never find out and I found out he was flirting with someone so I slept with three different guys over the course of a week and showed up with hickies hidden in my hair to his job and I remember him saying something like "oh if she was cheating on me I'd know" mind you I showed up with my ex f-budy. Posted a tiktok about it and that's how he found out.
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What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
A lot of these aren't "hilariously" petty, they're "mean" petty :(
Nederlands Geo 5 months ago
Some of these are just b******t takes that are just random as f**k
Huddo's sister 5 months ago
Did people not understand the topic of this list was breaking up for petty reasons? All the reasonable reasons to break up were at the top of the list and the legitimately petty ones were down voted.
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
I was dating the high school Valedictorian, he was a year above me. He came over for dinner and spent the entire time playing a game of chess with my dad. If you are out there reading this - I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were trying to get in the good graces of my parents, and didn't mean to ignore me and make me feel unimportant.
Poppy 5 months ago
I broke up with someone because he wouldn't stop tickling me despite me asking him not to. I even told him about the time my sister tickled me from behind and I reflexively jerked backwards and my head collided with her jaw. She ended up with a dislocated jaw and a chipped tooth. But no, he thought it was funny.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 5 months ago (edited)
Some of these are really fun! Thank you for sharing them! I laughed out loud at the Be Prepared song as foreplay. That was funny enough that I’m likely to remember it at some inopportune moment and start laughing again, and it’s likely to be some place random, like the grocery store or something. So, it gives me something to look forward to.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 5 months ago
A lot of these aren't "hilariously" petty, they're "mean" petty :(
Nederlands Geo 5 months ago
Some of these are just b******t takes that are just random as f**k
Huddo's sister 5 months ago
Did people not understand the topic of this list was breaking up for petty reasons? All the reasonable reasons to break up were at the top of the list and the legitimately petty ones were down voted.
Jenna Kay 5 months ago
I was dating the high school Valedictorian, he was a year above me. He came over for dinner and spent the entire time playing a game of chess with my dad. If you are out there reading this - I'm sorry. I didn't realize that you were trying to get in the good graces of my parents, and didn't mean to ignore me and make me feel unimportant.
Poppy 5 months ago
I broke up with someone because he wouldn't stop tickling me despite me asking him not to. I even told him about the time my sister tickled me from behind and I reflexively jerked backwards and my head collided with her jaw. She ended up with a dislocated jaw and a chipped tooth. But no, he thought it was funny.
Cronecast AtTheRisingMoon 5 months ago (edited)
Some of these are really fun! Thank you for sharing them! I laughed out loud at the Be Prepared song as foreplay. That was funny enough that I’m likely to remember it at some inopportune moment and start laughing again, and it’s likely to be some place random, like the grocery store or something. So, it gives me something to look forward to.
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