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50 Incidents Where People Did Precisely What They Were Told, And The Results Were Hilarious (New Pics)
One aspect of the English language that makes it particularly difficult to learn is the fact that we rarely say exactly what we mean. “I’m feeling under the weather” or “I have a frog in my throat” might sound like absolute nonsense to someone unfamiliar with those phrases. And if you say that someone has a “heart of gold,” it would be quite concerning if you were actually referring to their anatomy.
But it’s not always crystal clear when we should adhere to what people say literally or when we should just take it with a grain of salt. And apparently, these misinterpretations often lead to some hilarious situations. Below, you’ll find a list that Bored Panda has compiled of funny examples of people doing exactly as they’re told. So enjoy scrolling through these clever actions and honest mistakes, and be sure to upvote the images that leave you tickled pink!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
How To Defeat A Bear
Kristiina Männiste 3 weeks ago
I read the post as: 6% of americans can keep up with horses, weigh 600lbs on average and have razor sharp teeth and claws and was like No wonder people in USA are scared to go out at nights! I would be scared too if a 600lbs american with razor sharp teeth and claws would come galloping towards me
Kristiina Männiste 3 weeks ago
Holds the plastic EU wide health insurance card in front of her yelling: Back you beast! Back I say! The power of socialism compels you!
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Zig Zag Wanderer 3 weeks ago
The funny thing is, Americans are afraid of Australia. We don't even have bears, let alone lunatics shooting up schools.
Rafał Krych 2 weeks ago (edited)
Old joke how to distinguish between black bear, grizzly bear and polar bear: * You run and climb a tree and bear climbs after you then it's a black bear * You run and climb a tree and bear knocks down the tree then it's a grizzly bear * You run and there are not trees to climb then it's a polar bear
Panda Kicki 2 weeks ago
I met a brown bear heading for my outhouse in a cabin in the woods in northern Sweden. Not sure who won as we where equally terrified and ran in opposite direkctions. The poor thing had plowed the thick bushes and left a trail of devastation. From there on I always had a potty inside.
nicholas nolan 3 weeks ago
"6% of Americans answer a poll while sniggering behind their hands, the world takes them seriously for unknown reasons." I'm mostly upset with the Canadians about that. You guys are supposed to understand that sort of humor.
person (i think) 3 weeks ago
There are some really really delusional people out there. I have no problem believing someone pekoe think they would win in a bear fight
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#2
It's Useless If You Can't Swim
Zig Zag Wanderer 3 weeks ago (edited)
I asked the surgeon if I would be able to play the piano after the operation. He assured me that I would. I still can't...
Senjo Krane 3 weeks ago
Another example of the importance of correct language usage. "may" swim with it.
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 2 weeks ago
as bad as the old standby joke after breaking an arm: Patient: " Doctor doctor will I be able to play the violin?" Doctor: "I don't see why not..." Patient: " that's great doc, I couldn't play it before"
#3
What Platform Is This On
There are plenty of reasons why someone might not be speaking literally. On one hand, this may be to emphasize how they feel about something. For example, “I’m so hungry I could eat a horse!” Or, “I can’t breathe!” when they're simply laughing hysterically from a joke their friend told. You might even say that you've done something “a thousand times” because it feels like you have, when in reality, you’ve only done it about a hundred times.
We speak in metaphors, idioms and figurative language because it’s much more interesting and evocative than saying exactly what we mean. Just imagine how boring every single conversation would be if we never used hyperbole or flowery language. How could we express ourselves or show our personalities? And don’t even get me started on how boring books would be…
#4
I Asked For A Car Full Of Money For My Birthday, Grandmother Delivers
arthbach 3 weeks ago (edited)
For my Dad's 60th birthday I wanted to gift him something special. He is not an easy person to buy for. My solution was to give him 60 gifts in a big box. Some were little things like an eraser, a pencil sharpener, pencil, pen, stamp... and others were more interesting items - silk tie, a book about the year he was born. The last two items were 'a new car and a bag of gold'. Yes, a toy car and chocolate geld.
Vivian McBride 3 weeks ago
My brothers did that for my 50th. It was 50 things that you wouldn't get for birthday gifts. All 50 came from the dollar store!
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Angela C 3 weeks ago
My parents bought me a car for my 16th birthday. A little orange convertible. They were so cheap though they couldn't get me a name brand hot wheels or matchbox car, no, it was an off brand dollar store car lol. I still have it somewhere
Arthur Waite 3 weeks ago
And, she could have found the chocolate coins in gold wrap. Be happy.
Cybele Spanjaard 1 week ago
Grandmas are always obliging to their loved grandchildren's hopes..
UncleJon_TheMadScientist 2 weeks ago
When My daughter was Yvette was about 5 she informed me that since her name is Y-Vette I should give her a COR-Vette when she turns 16, I said honey that's just too expensive. She said she understood and that I could give her a Porsche or Ferrari instead. I said you are going the wrong way price wise, you'll be lucky if I can afford to give you a SHOVE-Vette (Chevette for the uninformed)
#5
I Was Doing Homework When I Did This
Cybele Spanjaard 1 week ago
Exactly, short, sweet and to the point! And I am being verbose as usual.
#6
I Am Indeed Not A Train
Bill Swallow 2 weeks ago
Thomas the Tank Engine is not a train. It is an engine.
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Panda Cat 3 days ago
Someplace in the US where it’s pretty flat with nasty grey clouds. If I had to guess I’d say Illinois, specifically Kankakee. Why Kankakee? Because I’ve taken the train through there.
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While English certainly isn’t the only language that is often spoken non-literally, it’s the one we’ll focus on right now. Since clearly, we all speak it! But these idioms that we all know and love are what makes English one of the more challenging languages to master. To sound like a native speaker, you have to know much more than vocabulary and language. You also have to understand countless phrases, figures of speech and metaphors. It’s definitely an uphill battle!
When it comes to some of the most common idioms used in English, BSC Education notes that “turn a blind eye” is a popular one. What this actually means is to ignore something, as though you didn’t see or notice it. Another popular phrase is “to kick the bucket,” which is an informal, and sometimes even crude, way of referring to someone passing away.
#7
At Least It's Not Made Out Of Sand
UnclePanda 3 weeks ago
That type of in-bread humor is cheesy. He's a bit of a ham.
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Niels AirMax 3 weeks ago
You should have known when he wrote "sure :)". 😂 You got yourself a good man! ✊🏻
Cybele Spanjaard 1 week ago
I would keep honey, she is the best at making your life as it is!!
#8
They Said He Jumps When He's Excited.. So Naturally I Was Thinking Just, Jumps Up On You.. No This Dog Literally Jumps
Zig Zag Wanderer 3 weeks ago
We had a husky like this on our sleigh ride in Norway. Whenever we stopped, he bounced like thus until we started again! Absolute legend.
Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 weeks ago
He belongs in the opening credits/scene of Little House on the Prairie... Bouncing down the hill. *Yup... I'm old.
#9
That Is Hilarious
Nico di anglo-solace 3 weeks ago
to be fair I wouldnt be able to start the alphabet at the letter M completely sober
rustyscate 3 weeks ago
I just did but I technically had to start at L so maybe I didn’t
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Patricia the Grey 1 week ago
At least he had a sense of humor. Well, okay, at least *I* think it's funny
Have you ever gotten upset with someone because they dropped the ball? Perhaps your colleague forgot to submit a project before the deadline, or your dad forgot to pick you up from school. This is when we make a mistake, often by doing something careless.
Now, if you’re barking up the wrong tree, we’re not actually talking about acting like a dog. This is when you go after someone who has nothing to do with what you’re upset about or what you're looking for. Maybe you’re blaming your mom for eating the cookie you wanted, but it was actually your sister who took it. Or perhaps you’re complaining to an employee about something that they have absolutely no control over. Either way, you’re barking up the wrong tree, buddy.
#10
An Amateur Pilot At Best
Gebidozo 3 weeks ago (edited)
Disagree, the ending was intriguing in its own way. But yeah, the first season was awesome, and things sort of went downhill from there. I so hated what they eventually did with Locke’s initially fantastic story arc.
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Cybele Spanjaard 1 week ago
I eagerly looked forward to watching that show as it progressed, changed, had mystery, m****r, mayhem, hierarchy and magic, unreality and lost favourites all in one incomplete show. The ending was a bit dull. I thought the movie 'Truman'. which did have a very realistic ending
#11
2nd Graders Homework. My Friend's (Awesome) 6 Yr Old Son Is Autistic And Takes Instructions Literally
AnnaB 3 weeks ago (edited)
This shows a higher level of understanding the alphabet than the original instruction.
Nico di anglo-solace 3 weeks ago
i did something like that in school it took my parents and teacher explaining why I was wrong before it clicked
Ace 3 weeks ago
You weren't wrong, neither was this person. The question was poorly worded, is all.
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Jimmie Dickenson 1 week ago
Some people see things in a completely different way - this is actually interesting.
#12
More Than One, In Fact…
Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 weeks ago
I am certain that I can't be the only one who took a minute to figure it out. I need to let my mind wander more. Thank you BP!
Mary Peace 1 week ago
I would say 'Free Hat-making Kit in Every Box'. Ready-to-wear is more expensive.
Woah, hold your horses! And if you don’t actually have any horses, that’s totally fine. What I really mean is to slow down, be patient and/or relax. But if you do have pet horses, you may have been born with a silver spoon in your mouth. If you came from a wealthy family and have been given everything you could ever need, then I’d say that’s the case. (Regardless of whether or not you own a literal silver spoon.)
#13
This Is The Modern Jack Sparrow
Ellinor she/they/elle 3 weeks ago
I'm a "streaming services are a scam and cinemas are overpriced and some content is not available in English in my country" pirate.
#14
Literally
Wonnie-Cookie713 2 weeks ago
I believe it did after (prob) being run over multiple times by cars.
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#15
Can You Talk Real Quick?
RomanceRadish 3 weeks ago (edited)
Here is the thing about auctioneers: the whole thing intimidates me! I don't know what they are saying! Why can't they just calmly clearly say "Who will pay $15? OK great, now $20? $25?"
Kalikima 2 weeks ago
Cuz they have hundreds of items to get through in a set timeframe. If they don't speak fast, they won't have time to get through them all. And no, I don't know why they don't give them more time.
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Uncle Schmickle 1 week ago
I don't know why Americans say " real quick " so often. Can't it be just at ordinary pace ?
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 3 weeks ago
If you are from MA, you can't help but talk real quick. I had a boss once in CA tell me that some of the clients thought I talked too fast and was a bit short with them. He'd gone to Harvard Law and I said, 'You spent time in Boston...you know this is how we talk in Mass.' lol
Another confusing aspect of English is that, for some reason, people love using the word “literally” without literally meaning it. For example, you might have heard someone say, “I was literally outside for five seconds, and it started raining!” Now, in reality, they might have been outside for five minutes. But they probably weren’t counting, and they want to exaggerate to emphasize their frustration. So the word “literally” just gets tossed in!
#16
Air Filters Do Their Job
#17
He Didn't Fight
#18
Heart Rate At 98.7° C
Nico di anglo-solace 3 weeks ago (edited)
not wrong...I think im american sadly let me look this up edit: yes they are dead its around 200°F
Roxy222uk 3 weeks ago
The boiling point of water is 100ºC and the freezing point of water is 0ºC, so that helps work out what a temperature in ºC roughly means.
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Coupon Holder 3 weeks ago
98.6 (not .7) is normal body temp in fahrenheit, but how can you estimate the heart rate from that without information on age, activity level, etc.? Error aside still a silly question. And "when temperature" is 98.7? Air temperature, body temperature, I guess we assume body temp because it goes to tenths of degrees and is so close to 98.6? Teacher needs schooling on multiple levels.
Stardust she/her 3 weeks ago
The hell kinda question is this? Should’ve been a normal number like 40°C
Now, English speakers misusing words for emphasis isn’t exactly a new phenomenon. Mark Forsyth, author of The Etymologicon, told the BBC, “It amuses me that Americans use awesome all the time. They say a bus turning up is awesome, but it can't possibly fill them with awe. I use excellent all the time, without meaning it's excelling. Wonderful doesn't really fill people with wonder, fantastic is strictly speaking like a fantasy."
#19
So True
Cybele Spanjaard 1 week ago
The Passion of the Christ (2004):before they even got to the cross..too violent Director: Mel Gibson
Billie Jackson 3 weeks ago
Didn't go to theater, but couldn't watch more than ten minutes of Wonka and Barbie
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 3 weeks ago
I desperately wanted to walk out of Spaceballs but an older cousin took us and he didn't want to leave. What a stupid, unfunny movie. I don't care for bathroom humor.
#20
After A Huge Meal (Schweinshaxe) In Berlin I Asked For Just A Small Beer. This Is What The Waiter Brought Me:
NapQueen 3 weeks ago
Ah yes, if they had this in the UK, it'd be a subtle way to tell you that you've had too much to drink.
Gordon Guitar 2 weeks ago
In high School our A Capella Choir won a tourny & a trip to Paris. At a very classy restaurant the group was waited on by 2 fellows who had a stream of insults about the group, believing that we didn't speak French. When they brought the bill I stopped them to tell them (In perfect French) That "American A******s" only tip when the servers are pleasant. I told them I would pass on their comments to the Teachers and the maître d'hôtel, as I watched their faces grow white.
megabeth 3 weeks ago
In Wisconsin (N U.S) that called a chaser and is complimentary with your Bloody Mary!
The Majestic Opossum 3 weeks ago
Mmmm, along with bacon, sausage, olives pickle, and sometimes even a small cheeseburger as a garnish. Our bloody Marys are right up there with our old fashioneds...
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 1 week ago
Normally, from my experience when visiting Germany, a " small " beer is 500 ml !
#21
My Kids Came In And Told Me There Was Water Coming From The Laundry Room. They Said It Looked Like It Started At The Washer. I Rushed In To Find This
Purple Gurl 2 weeks ago
The best I've seen was the toilet is smoking. Someone arranges two new rolls on top as eyes, and an almost empty paper towel roll under the lid like a smoke held off to the side.
Cindy Brick 2 weeks ago
Little Brats! (Now tell them they have to make supper, since they're so clever.)
rym2xf5xbp 1 week ago
I’m going to do this! Except I’m going to do this to my boyfriend’s son, with the exception that I’m going to fill the kitchen floor with the water bottles. “I got water all over the kitchen floor. Be careful.”
But why is “literally” such a particularly troublesome word? Ian Brookes, consultant editor at Collins English Dictionairy, says the word is “one of those language bugbears, so we print a special note in the dictionary to advise on the problem.”
"There are always two opposing views - those that believe we must use words very carefully, so that language does not lack precision, and the other side which argues that if people try to fossilize language they limit it,” Brookes told the BBC. "The problem really only occurs when it is not clear which sense is being used.”
#22
Nobody Knows Such A Person
Brandi VanSteenwyk 3 weeks ago
Why is that? Truly curious. Is it because old slappy bappy be making noise while walking?
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Kristiina Männiste 3 weeks ago
a tailored three piece suit is far far more attractive than any casual clothes.
Andrew Keir 3 weeks ago
Not at my local swimming pool, it just looks silly
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#23
Bills Bills Bills
WindySwede 3 weeks ago
Though maybe not Cosby.. after what he was doing..
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The Majestic Opossum 3 weeks ago
Reminds me of the time I sent my coworker a bunch of "Díck pics". Díck Chaney... Díck Van Dyké... He was not amused.
The Other Guest 3 weeks ago
I mistook Billy Joel for Bilbo Baggins at first & thought, "Well, I guess *technically* he's a 'Bil"..."
Mike F 3 weeks ago
That's OK, until I blew it up I thought it was Bob Dylan. 🤷♂️
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Russell Bowman 3 weeks ago
If the city figured out who did this ... would they send him a bill for the cleanup
#24
I Meaaan
Vicky Phenny 3 weeks ago
The Caesar Salad was first created by Cesare Cardini who passed away in 1974, so there's that.
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Stardust she/her 3 weeks ago
Well cosmologically speaking I see no difference between a thousand and a hundred years
Khavrinen 3 weeks ago
This joke was first posted in 2019. Caesar's now been dead well over 76 years...
Blackmoon The Dragon 3 weeks ago
This got me for a bit, I had no idea what it means but I figured it out and it was hilarious
We hope you’re enjoying this list of silly misunderstandings and misinterpretations, pandas! Keep upvoting the ones that you find particularly clever, and let us know in the comments below which phrases you’d like to use literally. Then, if you want to check out another Bored Panda list featuring people following instructions to a T, look no further than right here!
#25
Mind Absolutely Blown
kaycee14 2 weeks ago
Upvote for rassle frassle! I immediately pictured that cartoon dog in the aviator cap... Muttley?... and could hear him say this! 😆
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I Do Too
Cory Kent 1 week ago
But you don't really know every number. Guessing randomly is actually not a good way to land on a number. With all 10 digits of a phone number in North America, there's enough possible combinations to make 10 billion phone numbers. Well there's only 8 billion people in the whole world. If you had in international numbers which can go as high as 15 digits, that gives you 1 quadrillion numbers possible... again for only 8 billion people.
#27
My Son Doing What The Sign Says
Mary Peace 2 weeks ago
When I was a child, we called this sign, 'Man having difficulty with umbrella,' or at least my parents and older brother did. I took a while to get it.
#28
Can’t Argue With That
Jedi Panda 2 weeks ago
Star wars came out in 77... mb it was them! ? (/s if it wasn't obvious)
The Majestic Opossum 3 weeks ago
Just started watching Pluribus. I'm happy we don't. Or, maybe happy isn't the right term...
#29
What A Coincidence! Me Too
#30
That's A Lot Of Money
Petra Peitsch 2 weeks ago
Yaps, but I also hope, that's not really true ... I mean the amount of the money ....
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I Don't Care
#32
Competition To McDonald's Have Arrived
Bill Swallow 2 weeks ago
Just for reference - 'Calorie' is a perfectly valid scientific term for energy (heat) content, and is actually the same as 'calories' used in food. Except one 'food calorie' is equal to 1,000 'science calories', so with regard to food, it should be stated as 'kilocalories', but everyone simply omits the 'kilo-' prefix.
Jp@nda 2 weeks ago
I'm sorry but who said it want a valid term? Who are you arguing with?
Load More Replies... #33
That's What The Gps Said
Crissy Newbury 3 weeks ago
My husband has a word for a certain length of time in his vocabulary: aranarf.
#34
Girlfriend And Her Friend Spent The Day In Sf
#35
Meet Bob
Robert Millar 3 weeks ago
I like Tedison, it adds a touch of uniqueness, like Tandrew, Tian, Tedward, Tallison.
Gordon Guitar 2 weeks ago
I'm not sure if they are incredibly brilliant & funny or incredibly stupid.
Joanne Mendonza-Earle 3 weeks ago
I did something like this on a Pi quiz in geometry. I had utter contempt for my teacher so I wrote 'pumpkin pi, apple pi, etc' I got an F w/ a sarcastic 'very funny' on it. lmao I think she only passed me on to the next grade with a D or C- cause she didn't want me back in her class anymore.
Kalikima 2 weeks ago
My 9th grade science teacher gave me a C cuz he was attracted to me. I couldn't pass that class to save my life, it was "physical science" and I couldn't memorize the periodic table for anything.
Load More Replies... #36
Imagine Alligators In The Lunch Break At Your Workplace
Michael Largey 3 weeks ago
Alligators are from Florida, and how do you make a joke involving Florida?
Load More Replies... #37
I Was Expecting The First Comment To Be Pineapple, But I Guess This Works Too
Made You Look 3 weeks ago
Polonium also has about 20 billion calories, so it can be swapped for uranium if need be.
David Paterson 3 weeks ago
Polonium is rough 12 billion times more deadly than Uranium. So the answer is correct.
Load More Replies... Bill Swallow 2 weeks ago
I'd have said 'Astatine'. As XKCD said, "The sixth row of the periodic table contains several radioactive elements, including promethium, polonium, astatine & radon. Astatine is the bad one. We don't know what astatine looks like, because as Lowe put it, 'that stuff just doesn't want to exist'. It's so radioactive (w/ a half life of hours) that any large piece of it would be quickly vaporized by its own heat. Chemists suspect it has a black surface, but no one really knows. There's no material safety data sheet for astatine. If there were, it would just be the word 'NO' scrawled over and over in charred blood. Our cube would, briefly, contain more astatine than has ever been synthesized. 'Briefly' because it would immediately turn into a column of superheated gas. The heat alone would give third-degree burns to anyone nearby, and the building would be demolished. The gas would rise rapidly into the sky, pouring out heat and radiation..."
David Paterson 3 weeks ago
Ricin is a good answer. Not as deadly as polonium but much deadlier than Uranium. A cubic mm of ricin is deadly, I'm glad I stopped eating it.
Load More Replies... #38
I Suppose My Sil Should Have Gone Into The Bakery Instead Of Ordering Through Their Online Function
Ace 3 weeks ago
Has that been piped on with a computer-controlled printer of some sort? I mean, yes, it obviously has, is that a commonplace thing these days then?
UnclePanda 3 weeks ago
In the US, cake icing printers followed on the heels of 3D printers - it's basically the same machine. In the photo, I see at least six different "e" characters, although that could be a font option.
Load More Replies... #39
I Took A Picture Of Myself Everyday For One Day
#40
Six Year Olds Are Very Literal
geezeronthehill 3 weeks ago
There are no soccer balls. Images of soccer balls, on the other hand...
patricia patricia 3 weeks ago
Six year old kids are not "very literal". The questions are very stupid. Literally. Very, very, very stupid.
#41
I Asked My Husband To Seal An Envelope For Mailing
#42
I Asked For Extra Spicy Pad Thai Today
Made You Look 3 weeks ago
I think this Pad Thai was made in the fiery depths of he|l by the devil himself
#43
Well, They Are For Sure
Niels AirMax 3 weeks ago
THANK YOU! My head was just about to burst open! Now I can live in peace! 😌 🙌🏻
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Nicole Weymann 3 weeks ago
According to @Ace: Red, white and blue flags. Seems to fit the bill.
Load More Replies... Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
I am trying to fathom what too..oh yeah, all British owned of sorts
#44
My Cousin Just Started Kindergarten, She's Going To Go Far
#45
So My Job Literally Requires Me To Cut Corners
#46
My Kind Of Guy
BrunoVI 3 weeks ago
This is where mathematicians (or accountants) and engineers debate about cooking -2 sausages.
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#47
I Had Some Time Before My Flight Out Of Boston
#48
Face Palm
Andrew Keir 3 weeks ago
This goes straight to my collection of .jpgs for use in email wars ;-)
#49
Try And Stop Me
#50
They Said Put In A Mask. Didn't Say Which Kind Of Mask
Jan Rosier 3 weeks ago
What weird kind of contraption are we looking at here? Jungle-Jim-On-Wheels?
Brain-In-A-Vat 3 weeks ago
If we ever have to wear a mask again , I'm going to get a welder's mask . . .
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Do NOT say it.... do not...(it looks photo shopped anyhow)
#51
To Be An Only Child You Do Not Ha E Siblings
#52
No Doubt About It
Jeolas1 3 weeks ago (edited)
There's a joke about the ladder to success. Guy finds a ladder reaching up into the clouds. climbs up. there's a beautiful naked woman there, saying, "you can make love to me now or continue climb the ladder to success." guy climbs to the next cloud, there's an even more beautiful naked woman there, saying, "you can make love to me now or climb the ladder to succes". Guy climbs to the next cloud. There's a huge naked bloke sitting there. guy is confused, says, "well, and who are you?" the bloke says "I'm Cess!"
#53
Literally, It Is What You Wanted
Stephanie Did It 3 weeks ago
American currency is made of a cotton & linen mix, not paper. So it is absolutely waterproof. Ask anyone who has fished dollars out of the washer or dryer.
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#54
I Flew Korean Air And Asked For A Rum And Coke. Something Must Have Got Lost In Translation
Made You Look 3 weeks ago (edited)
Shin ramyeon (rahm-yun / rum-and) I guess they can sound similar to a non English speaker
#55
In His Defense, I Did Say To Put These In The Bathroom. There Is Nothing Like Having A Literal 2nd Grader Living In Your House
Made You Look 3 weeks ago
They’re like genies, you have to be very very specific with your wishes.
#56
Some People Take Things Way Too Literally
Andrew Keir 3 weeks ago
It's probably OK, I haven't seen any change in them so far
Load More Replies... #57
A Very Literal Half Pint
NapQueen 3 weeks ago
I actually quite like this! Makes it feel like you're drinking an entire pint :)
Andy 3 weeks ago
I'd probably switch to these after a few full pints, then put it down wrong and spill it on the table.
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Huddo's sister 2 weeks ago
I think I've mentioned this before, but my mum used to ask for 'half a cup of coffee' every day at her first job. The boss ended up buying the cup version of this.
#58
When My Wife's School Said They Had BBQ For Teacher Appreciation Week, She Was Excited To Hear To There Was A Vegetarian Option! It Was A Potato With BBQ Sauce
David 3 weeks ago
I mean they make smoked Seitan and crispy bbq sauce tofu nuggets at many places. How lazy was this
BrunoVI 3 weeks ago
It was "we don''t even have fries or chips" kinda lazy.
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Beak Hookage 3 weeks ago
What, no sour cream, no cheese, no coleslaw, not even any salt or pepper? I'd have smashed it in the face of whoever thought this one up.
Andrew Keir 3 weeks ago
Smashed potato in their face might be considered sufficiently humourous
Load More Replies... #59
This Image Looks Like Four Different Pictures Because It Actually Is
#60
I Asked For An Apple Watch For My Birthday. This Is What I Got
#61
Sure He Would Be A Baby
#62
This Target Sign Says That People Arent Allowed In
Tucker Cahooter 3 weeks ago
Given the way many human shoppers behave, I think they are correct to exclude them
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Leave your owners tied to the post outside beside near the bowl provided
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 3 weeks ago
I saw one the other day "Only the owner's dogs are permitted in the bar". Going to be limiting their takings there.
Andrew Keir 3 weeks ago
Not so, his chihuahua has a problem that way, spends his entire allowance there
Load More Replies... #63
They Only Go Up To 9
Fat Harry (Oi / You) 3 weeks ago
That's the whole joke. First guy is saying he's screwed because there's no matching 1 and 5, and second guy is playing on that by pretending the problem is that they don't sell a "15" candle. Are you new to the internet?
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Andrew Keir 3 weeks ago
Took me several seconds to work this one out, love the mathematical touch !
Load More Replies... 7zzksy8zfh 1 day ago
To be fair…the point could’ve been that there are no matching colors for the 1 and the 5.
Joanne Long 1 week ago
I knew of someone who scoured the grocery store looking for "cupcake mix".
#64
Museum-Goers Touched The "Please Touch" Sign Instead Of The Rock
#65
When Santa Is Too Literal
#66
80-100 Words
Rose the Cook 3 weeks ago
This reminds me of a teacher who ordered a migrant student to "Do 100 lines." The girl returned a huge sheet of paper with 100 straight lines ruled on it.
Michael Largey 3 weeks ago
I went to college - for a while, at least - with someone who easily did a hundred lines every month.
Load More Replies... #67
Asked My Dad For A Blank CD, Showed Me This Saying “I’ve Got A Clear One”
Beak Hookage 3 weeks ago
That's the thing they put on top of the stack of blank CDs in the container to protect the real ones! I am old.
WindySwede 3 weeks ago
I think they eventually stopped this,and used a smol foam disc instead? Cause people didn't understand and complained about the "faulty" one? Or atleast Internet claimed this..
Load More Replies... #68
I Waited Here
Mimi M 1 week ago
Unless you're the type of person who by nature is disinclined to follow directives and would therefore stand anywhere but there.
Load More Replies... Uncle Schmickle 1 week ago
I do that at K Mart. there's a large hanging sign saying " Pay Here ", so I just stand under it. No one comes to take my money though.
#70
Huh, I Wouldn't've Thought
Dan Holden 2 weeks ago
If you go far enough north or south at the right times of the year, it's visible 24 hours a day.
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#71
Got My Dad A Pocket Watch For My Wedding At The Weekend. Asked For An Engraved Capital R At The Top. They Took The Instruction A Bit Too Literally
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago
He will always remember that! A capital father could have read differently
#72
This Is Popcorn Chicken
Nicole Weymann 3 weeks ago (edited)
At the risk of sounding like a stuffy European: why T H would you order items in a restaurant that doesn't have them on the menu? I laughed myself silly when I heard an elderly acquaintance years ago talked about his first visit to MacD's. He knew MacD's was a fast food place, so he confidently went to the counter and ordered a bratwurst, because "who opens a fast food place and doesn't sell sausages?!" (yes, I'm German, how did you guess)
The Other Guest 3 weeks ago
To clarify Cherubi's answer, the chicken is cut up *before* being breaded, so you've got a marvelously crispy, high breading-to-chicken ratio.
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#73
The Teacher Said Don't Look (At The Board) While You're Writing. She Took It Literally
Cybele Spanjaard 2 weeks ago (edited)
Cute. All teachers have a few stories to relate about their students at any age, literal responses.
#74
$500 To $160,000 With Nft
Andrew Keir 3 weeks ago
Anyone seriously looking to get rich quick is the lawful prey of every scammer in the world.
#75
This Works Just Fine
#76
The Assignment Was To Write 1 To 120. He Took It Literally
Slmd 2 weeks ago
I remember being in prep, we had to write up to 100. First time I did it, I went "I, 2, skip a few, 99, 100". Second time, I cheated by looking at a poster that counted to 100... ended up finishing like 5 mins after everyone else lol after I finished the third time, being supervised by the teacher aide...
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