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27 Ways People Found Out That Their Significant Other Is Unfaithful
Infidelity rarely announces itself with a dramatic confession. It begins much more quietly, with a small, unsettling shift in the rhythm of a relationship. It's a tiny, nagging gut feeling, a change in routine you can't quite put your finger on, or a new phrase they suddenly start using.
An online community asked people who have been cheated on to share the moment the seed of suspicion was planted. The responses are a heartbreaking catalog of red flags that are easy to dismiss in the moment but glaringly obvious in hindsight.
More info: Reddit
Discover more in 30 Ways People Found Out That Their Significant Other Is Unfaithful
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#1
Our shared doctor encouraged me to get STD testing because “you never know people all the way.” She stood there and said several times that she couldn’t violate confidentiality but she recommended the tests. And my dumb a*s was mad at her for thinking he was that kind of person. It hit me a year later, after I’d caught him with someone else while I was pregnant.
It’s been over a decade and let me tell you, hurt fades, anger fades, but feeling dumb? That sticks.
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#3
When he suddenly got “too busy” for everything. couldn’t text, couldn’t call, but somehow always had energy for everyone else. it’s never about being busy, it’s about priorities.
#4
On her phone 24/7, her face would light up with happiness every time her phone went off, after about 3 days of this I asked if I could use her Facebook Marketplace to put an item up for sale. She refused, she told me to email everything to her and she would do it. We are standing here together and she is saying no I cant use her Facebook and to email it to her and that mixed with the several days prior of the weirdness on the phone I just said it, are you cheating on me. And she said yes. Now are are divorcing.
#5
My then-boyfriend and i were watching a movie and laughing and as he stood up to go to the bathroom, i held up his phone for the face id unlock and told him i was going to look up the cast cause i thought i recognized one of the actors. even though we’d been relaxed and goofing a split second prior, he immediately got incredibly antsy and was leering over my shoulder the whole time reaching over and fidgeting like i was a loose cat walking on the nuclear launch keypad. i’ve never felt the urge or need to look through any of my partners’ phones, even after this incident, and he’d never hesitated to do the hold up for face id thing to me before, so i found it extremely weird. sure enough come to find out a few months later he had accounts on multiple dating apps and had been cheating on me.
#7
When their patterns began to change. Didn’t like drinking, now going out to happy hours after work. Suddenly very motivated to workout. Putting extra effort into their looks. Suddenly planning hangouts with “new friends”.
#8
Everything I said seemed to annoy her for some reason. I felt like she just didn't like hearing the sound of my voice but it was really just she was moving on because she knew something I didn't.
#9
She went from treating me like her obsession to obsessively talking about the other guy. And she would anxiously wait for texts from him and get upset when he didn't text back quickly, like you expect a significant other to do. She also started looking at me like a roommate and finding every chance to make "business" meetings to go see him. They are now married. She even wore a nice dress to go see him once and asked me if she looked pretty.
It was easy to see her eyes fully go off of me and onto him.
#10
She had joined a book club, but I’d never seen her read.
I didn’t notice it as a sign when it first happened, I only realized after the fact.
#12
He started being very vague about people's gender when talking about who he was spending time with. "My friend and I went....They did this .... We went here ...They bought that..." And when I pointed it out he would gaslight me and try to tell me he wasn't being vague, that I was making a big deal and being controlling. It was because he was hanging out with women and being very careful not to say that.
This, and retroactively another sign that should have been obvious was that he would get upset with me and stop talking to me for days at a time. Found out later he was using this time to cheat, he would arrange a fight so he would have an excuse to not talk to me for a while so he could talk to her. And he did the same to her so he could talk to me. .
#17
Small stories didn’t line up anymore, she started talking about things she thought we did together (it was the guy she was cheating on me with), accusing me of cheating, and becoming more possessive.
#18
The 3rd person instant messages you saying “I’m so and so’s wife/ girlfriend and caught my husband / boyfriend snap chatting and texting your wife. Finally I asked for proof, got it and then caught her in a huge lie. Lawyer was worth the money.
#19
He got mad when we had plans to do things. That didn't fit into his and his new lovers schedule. IE: we had a wedding that was RSVPd to months in advance and when I brought it up the week before he got very upset.
#20
I called my friend to see if him and his twin wanted to hang out and he said "im down but Drew can't come because he's making out with Sabrina" (my gf at the time)
Thats when I started getting suspicious.
#21
Became distant, said s****y things to me, lost weight, bought new clothes and started going out with her best friend (who was single) to bars. I confronted her and she admitted it.
#23
Can someone please give me insight into this. I am really struggling..
I didn’t know he cheated or left me for another girl. He just stopped talking to me.. it was weird. We broke up without ever actually talking about it. It just ended.
Two months later, he reached out saying he couldn’t stop thinking about me and that he loved me. We got back together, and four months later I found i went through his phone and found out he had been with another girl during those two months, basically a full-blown relationship. I even saw their last messages. She wrote, “Ew, how was your slimy sleepover?” when he was literally at my place and he has an "apology call" ending it with her.
After I found out, I told him he was disgusting and kicked him out. For months afterward, he sent handwritten letters to my house, flowers, even got my name tattooed on his ribs. It just doesn’t make sense. He became obsessive, saying he loved me, wanted to marry me, would wait forever. Then I kept finding out even more lies. Eventually, I blocked him on everything and told him to stop messaging me or sending letters.
Yeah… I feel f****d up.
#27
Gaslighting and holding onto grudges on things that didn’t matter in the long run while some other dude treats her 20x worse. Losing all her morals and character. preaching values she never adhered to herself which were actually your own which she then gaslights
But yea definitely gaslighting and making weird comments.
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