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Your romantic partner is typically someone you think you know quite well. The two of you share deep parts of your life, building more and more trust as the relationship progresses. However, as one viral Reddit post has recently shown, even the closest people keep secrets from one another.
It all started when u/dusty_ninja asked other users on the platform, "What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?" The answers immediately came pouring in, ranging from icky and cruel to sad and heartbreaking. Here are some of the most memorable ones.
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#1
I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me. It was early in our marriage when we were living with her to save money for our own place. Her marriage of 28 years had ended badly and she was emotionally fragile. She was very drunk and was absolutely horrified at what she had done when she sobered up. I promised not to ever tell my wife and I never did, even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. Some things are too cruel to do, even when you're trying to hurt each other.
Victor Botha 4 years ago
You are a decent human for not bringing that up even at the end of your marriage
H Edwards 4 years ago
Yes, good on him for not revealing something that would likely have destroyed his ex wife's relationship with her mother. A lot of men would not have been so restrained, I'm sure.
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Katinka Min 4 years ago
I really like that he is understanding and mentioning the context of the incident (emotionally fragile, drunk, horrified later etc)
Gabriela Chico-Farias 4 years ago
That, sir, is called integrity. So few people (men and women) have that when things are stacked against them.
Sometimes we feel a desire to "unburden ourselves" to someone we just started dating. But they aren't necessarily interested in a long-term relationship and/or feeling obliged to keep our secrets. Trying to connect with another person but keeping a healthy distance can be tricky.
Dating coach Hayley Quinn, who helps men and women to build confidence and get their mojo back, told Bored Panda that "it's good to be authentic with people we meet, and be our 'true selves' so we can work out if there's a connection. However, you can miss the mark of authenticity and crash land into oversharing if you do this before you've had a chance to build trust."
To explain her point, Quinn invited us to imagine revealing our deepest, darkest secret to the barista who serves us our morning coffee. "You wouldn't do it, right? With social relationships we have to phase into openness and before we share, make sure the other person is on the same page. Make sure you check out if they're happy with where the conversation is going by making statements like 'let me know if I'm going off on a tangent here' or 'you can tell me if this is too much information for date 2.' This also brings levity to the interaction. Finally, make sure that interaction is 2-sided. You don't want to dump all your emotions on a person without being willing to also hear them out."
RELATED:
#2
He wanted to find a shark tooth so badly after I found one at the beach. So I went and bought a small bottle of shark teeth from the gift shop, spread them out all over a strip of beach we were hanging at and marveled at every shark tooth he brought me. I can never tell him the truth.
Scagsy 4 years ago
It is isn't it? So sweet and caring. This one made me smile.
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Marcellus II 4 years ago
As long as he doesn't get into it and/or shows too many people. People like me would get very confused and start thinking aloud, like "but but but these never occurred together, this family of sharks is not known from any location within 2000miles from that beach, you should report this! Wait this one is clearly from the Sahara, now what happened here did a giftshop get robbed and they spilled?", and you'd have to come clean.
Misty McCubbin 4 years ago
♥️ My Dad does this for my son when we’re at the beach. He keeps a pocketful and tosses them out when they’re walking. I’m not sure who gets more pleasure from it, the 6 year old who’s so proud of his find, or grandpa from watching the excitement.
#3
I cheated on my wife....when she wasn't looking at a family pot luck.
My wife and her sister put their peanut butter cupcakes side by side on the table and her sister makes crazy good cupcakes. My sister in law made peanut butter cupcakes with real peanut butter filling AND filled it with Reese's Peanut Butter chips. My wife only put a tiny bit of peanut butter topping on hers with no PB filling. I kept making excuses to go back to the dessert table and scarf down my sis in laws cupcakes especially when little kids were near it to make it look like they were eating most of the cupcakes. Didn't even touch my wife's cupcakes.
Steve Barnett 4 years ago
You philanderer! Shy away, with your tail between legs. Don't you show your face here again! ;O)
Darko Pešić 4 years ago
I totaly understand this, i am a sucker for food too... my gf/future wife would join me tho :D
Vinnie 4 years ago
Sometimes its better to admit defeat in a dish, ask the other person for tips and enjoy the much better food xD
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According to Sheri Stritof's article on VeryWell Mind, which has been reviewed and approved by psychiatrist Carly Snyder, we do not have to share everything with another person if things get serious as well. We have the right to privacy in any relationship, including with our spouse, partner, and family. In a healthy commitment, both parties have to acknowledge the sense of emotional and physical privacy needed for their mental well-being, otherwise, ironically, a couple ends up limiting their intimacy with one another, not enhancing it.
Hayley Quinn agrees to this line of thinking. "Being in a relationship is not a contract to disclose everything about our lives. For a lot of people it's important to have built a degree of trust before being candid: you may not want to tell someone about your past on date 1, but by 2 months in you may feel more comfortable to be open," she said.
"The important question to ask yourself when it comes to when and if you should disclose information is whether it would make a material difference to the relationship today. Things like health conditions, criminal records, children all will have a bearing on whether someone is happy to continue building a relationship with you. Also remember that ultimately you need acceptance from your partner, so rather than fearing you're going to put them off, prioritize instead finding someone that supports you totally."
#4
I’m from south Louisiana and my dad is in a Mardi Gras Crew. Every year he’s on a float throwing beads.
My husband has never been to Mardi Gras so his first time he was so excited and it was at my dad’s parade. Normally people on the floats throw the “good beads” to kids or women that will flash them.
I told my husband that if you yell “throw me something mister!” loud enough the people on the float will give you the “good beads.”
I told my dad and he told his float buddies, when their float came around my husband was screaming like a banshee “THROW ME SOMETHING MISTER!”
My dad and his friend pelted my husband with their best beads. When we were leaving the parade my husband was flexing all his nice new beads and thinks Mardi Gras is the best thing ever.
Didn’t have the heart to tell him that I told my dad to do that. He just thinks that because he was so enthusiastic, he got all the good stuff.
Evil Little Thing 4 years ago
I live in New Orleans and the flashing thing is bullshit. Also, good beads get thrown out randomly all the time.
Amy Dodds 4 years ago
Could you kindly explain what the difference is between good and bad beans?
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Peter Kelly 4 years ago
A resident of the UK here that has no idea what 'throwing beads' is all about! It sounds very odd and painful to be on the receiving end.
Yeah, you heard 4 years ago
I agree. 8 year old girls like beads, fir friendship bracelets or putting on Barbie or My Little Pony. I cannit fathom why a grown man would want beads thrown from a parade. Also, throwing beads sounds wasteful (surely most would end up on the ground) and dangerous (what if 0ne hits you in the eye?) Bizarre custom.
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Lonely Ghost town 4 years ago
I live in Louisiana as well and Mardi Gras is really fun, just be careful of the drunk people and don't get too close to the floats, I've never seen a float run over someone and I hope I never have to. Also, I have never seen or heard of people flashing for "good beads". If you visit Louisiana around February or March I would go to a parade, I recommend the ones in New Orleans.
Sherri Brewer 4 years ago
I'm from NOLA. I currently live about 30 minutes from there. I have also been riding on floats in parades.I think what the op was trying to say is that the thrower usually tries to throw to kids and women flashing. Don't believe op is saying that kids are flashing anything for beads. Also, yes Mardi Gras has many parades leading up to fat Tuesday or Mardi Gras day.
Yoga Kitty 4 years ago
I thought they meant they throw it to kids and women who will wear these beads proudly afterwards ("flash them") and not to men who will likely only store them in their pockets - that being said, I absolutely have no idea about Mardi Gras.
Load More Replies... Gabriela Chico-Farias 4 years ago
This is very sweet. I love that his father in law took part in it.
#5
I freakin HATE Dungeons & Dragons.
It bores me to tears.
Yet I've orchestrates an elaborate lie that gives the illusion I love it as much as he does and once a month I have to spend 5 hours sitting through a session bored to tears.
I do this simply because its one of the few hobbies in his life he gets to enjoy and I want him to have someone to play it with.
It's been going on for 5 years now, and I have no way out lol
It's OK though, the amount of joy I see he gets from playing it gives me comparable joy. So I don't mind that much.
Rick 4 years ago
Be warned, I had an ex who had what I thought was a boring hobby and indulged joining in with it for years before I finally confessed…he told me that he thought it was my hobby and I enjoyed it and was just putting up with it for me. So we basically both spent two years (and money) on a hobby that neither of us actually enjoyed.
classbag 4 years ago (edited)
My ex lied to me about enjoying one of my favorite hobbies (hiking), and when I found out, it really offended me. I never needed him to be a part of it to enjoy it myself, and his sometimes-reluctance to do it when I wanted to and subsequent complaining would make me feel bad. If he had just come clean in the beginning, I would have just found other people to go hiking with and left him at home. I wasn't a child who needed him to lie or to hold my hand.
Marie Watson 4 years ago
Could you help find him another group of people to play with? I'm sure there are some nice people out there in your community, maybe even a local club or something depending on where you are? If that's possible, that could be a win-win.
Laura Watts 4 years ago
Maybe try getting others to join in the when he's all set up with a group bow out
lara 4 years ago
Oh, honey, it could be worse. My husband did motocycle enduros and during the season we had to pack up every weekend and [he even bought a motorhome] go to those damned races. I FREAKING HATED IT. He was badly injured at two of them, and now, finally, he is too old to ride. This was way before the internet or "cell phones." You have NO idea how boring it is to be stuck in the middle, literally, of no where for 48 hours. Thank gawd I took books and our son could play with the other kids stuck there, too.
LivingTheDream 4 years ago
No, just no. Support him but don't torture yourself. Listen to his stories, enjoy his excitement but don't be anything other than yourself. My ex couldn't stand D&D but understood it was what I enjoyed since i was about 11. I'm 54 now and still have "Old" friends I play with. She used to laugh at how excited I got but I actually enjoyed the time away from her where I could be me and not worry about how it affected her.
#6
She farts in her sleep like a wild bear.
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
So... how does a wild bear fart? How did you find this information for the comparison. Inquiring minds want to know.
Falcon 4 years ago
THIS! Now I need to know, who was the brave soul who went to the cave to record the amount a wild bear farts! People need to know!
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Darko Pešić 4 years ago
To be honest, i kinda support my gf when she farts/burps. I know she needed quite some time to relax and be that comfortable around me, so i support that need :D
PiscesMama 4 years ago
The human body needs to expel gas 15 times a day or it would explode…do you want an exploding wild bear? We need to free the farts!
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
Yeah, I let mine be free...much to my wifes, coworkers, and societys in general dismay. Its been said that I have cleared a room of guys that work in the sewers, that I've cleared guys from the sewer itself, and made a car lose resale value.
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Secrets that can hurt your marriage are ones concerning:
- Having an affair;
- Job problems;
- Keeping an addiction or substance use habits hidden;
- Legal problems;
- Lending money;
- Lying about how you spend money;
- Not paying bills;
- Not revealing an illness;
- Seeing family and friends secretly.
But there are some things you might consider keeping to yourself, like:
- The exact number of people you've slept with;
- How great your ex was;
- Finding your partner's best friend really hot;
- Hating someone in their family or close friend circle.
At the end of the day, every couple decides where to draw the line. They both, however, need to play by the same rules.
#7
Sometimes I buy a chocolate bar when I go to the grocery store and eat it before i get home…
Andrea Careless 4 years ago
Omg I never realized you were supposed to wait until you got home.
ben woskje 4 years ago
+1.. replace "bar" with "block" and "a" with "a few"
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Emery Walters 4 years ago
If you plan ahead and take a fork with you, you can do that with a slice of pie or cake, or if you take a spoon, a pint of ice cream goes well if you park your car in the shade. Not that I know personally, of course.....
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
McDonald's French fries do not survive the 5 minute drive home. Neither does my tongue if they're fresh and hot.
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bonnyatlast 4 years ago
My husband does that with chocolate cake slices. Eats it in the parking lot. I found out when I looked at the receipt. I just laughed about it. I'm on a diet and prediabetic so cannot have sugar. Now if I ever ask for the receipt he says he doesn't know what he did with it. No wonder he likes to get the groceries.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Sometimes I buy a chocolate bar for the three people in my home and forget to give it to one of them and end up getting a surprise next time I go in my bag. I eat their chocolate that they never knew they had anyway.
Don't Look 4 years ago
When I was about 19 I watched my mother (whom I've never seen eat chocolate at all) buy a pack of reeses cups at the checkout and practically swallow them whole before we made it out the door of the grocery. I had no idea how to respond. Not one part of it was something she'd ever done before or since.
Caro Caro 4 years ago
Just needed them I guess? Old addiction popping up or simply pissed off and wanting to eat something unhealthy.
Load More Replies... #8
Not that dark, but I really really did not like her wedding dress...
Happi doggi 4 years ago (edited)
I hate my mom’s wedding dress but she kept it for me. how do I get out of it?
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TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
Lol that's okay. Doesn't matter if you liked it or not. It was one outfit that was meant for just one day. If she was happy wearing it, that's what matters. What I usually say when people ask for my opinion about their clothes is "do you like it? If you do, it doesn't matter what I think."
somuchsong 4 years ago
I most definitely would just assume you hated it if you said that to me. I'd rather you just lie.
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Lily Mae Kitty 4 years ago
cute wedding dress story: we were marrying later in life and having a simple wedding. I picked my dress, had started alterations and I lost a bunch of weight and had to get another. I decided to bring my fiance b/c I wanted him to like what I wore. I was nervous at 48 and recently slim to get it just right. When I came out in one, his face said it all. His eyes went wide, he looked me up and down like I was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. That was the one...couldn't sit or eat in it comfortably but no one tells you to make sure you can sit down it them! lol
Gabriela Chico-Farias 4 years ago
Your story made me tear up. That is a beautiful memory. I wish you both success in your life together. I wasn't so lucky. He stopped looking at me the way he looked at me on our wedding day. It hurts. But reading stories like yours makes me happy for you and cheers me up. Thank you.
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Lara Verne 4 years ago
Well, wedding dress is not so important.And if bride liked it, who are you to judge :)
#9
I have anxiety attacks when my SO is away. We joke about me believing he's dead when I don't hear from him often enough, but it's real. Like hyperventilating, heart racing, crying, rocking back and forth-real.
He loves going on roadtrips and does landscape photography. I can't ruin that for him.
Falcon 4 years ago
And if that doesn't work, then there is an interesting gps app that my friend once used when his wife went on a really long drive for the first time after getting her license. You can keep an eye on them and see that they are completely fine. BUT ONLY for that reason and with the consent of the other person!
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Burs 4 years ago
I get extremely sad when my partner wants to have some me time in a different room. I know rationally that he needs it and it’s healthy for him so I won’t tell him. But I feel abandoned. (And ashamed of it). Strangely I don’t feel this way if he is out with other people, then I am glad for him.
Sergio Bicerra 4 years ago
I get tou, it feels like 'so near, so far' You know when people wnt to make a pool jump they step back before doing it? That's what many people do: take a step back have their alone time, decompress, wipe all bad feelings and jump to your arms again.
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Deborah Barron Brown 4 years ago
Therapy and medication. Don't suffer when there are remedies.
Sathe Wesker 4 years ago
I'm not a doctor or psychiatrist but it sounds like you have anxiety. My boyfriend does have it and I see it in little ways, only because he takes medication and talks to a therapist every month. It helps. Also, he is a mechanic and sometimes a job will run way too late for when he is supposed to be home and I HAVE to call him to make sure he is ok. So I get it. But, maybe talk to someone. Or, maybe even go on the trips with him?
Don't Look 4 years ago
It is anxiety BUT it likely requires a small dose of relaxing meds.
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Deepali Sharma Agarwal 4 years ago
Tell him .,.. I know how it feels!!! I always have a feeling that whenever my partner is on road, I m restless. I need to know he has reached safe n sound. I told him about it and asked him that everytime he goes on trips he has to msg/call me when he reaches to his destination. He does its been years now and he always calls me n msgs. It keeps.me calm n sorted for his travel. You got to tell ur partner splly whn these thinks relate to mental health. Loads of love and take care!!
SobyKay 4 years ago
That's so sad on so many levels - that you have a mental health problem not receiving attention, that you cover it to the point of joking about it, that you sacrifice your mental health for the sake of of your SO's hobbies....this really seems like something you need to come clean about.
Jill Pulcifer 4 years ago
I have the same problem with my husband and kids. Im sure stems back to my mom getting hit by a truck and dying, and me calling her over and over with the mounting knowledge of dread. Logically I know that the odds they are not fine are very slim, BUT once you make those calls and it turns out that the worst has happened, you can never find that reassurance in the odds again. Its like that 99.9% chance I am over reacting means absolutely nothing now, thankfully my family knows this and is pretty good about answering calls and checking in, but in a way that just serves to make those odd times I cant reach them all the more terrifying.
#10
I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery. I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years. I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse. I have thought of suicide but I can’t do that to my husband and kids. I don’t want my husband to turn into a care giver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself.
Rick 4 years ago
You need to tell him and - depending on their ages - possibly the kids too so plans can be put in place and everyone is aware in case this thing suddenly accelerates throughout your body
Claire 4 years ago
This person probably has no idea this has been posted on bored panda. You can press the link at the bottom of the post and it will take you to where they shared it on Reddit and you could comment there. It looks like they have been given some good advice.
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Staci W 4 years ago
I live with chronic pain, am disabled, no longer working, and the quality of life at age 47 is far below what my family deserve. I have felt, and still feel, the same. Suicide would be so much easier for ME, but I tell myself it will only end MY suffering, but cause incredible pain to my husband of 25 yrs and 20 yo daughter. I would be leaving them to carry the burden of what I carry everyday, and I wouldn't wish my pain on an animal, much less those THAT I couldn't live without. I CAN EMPATHIZE, I HEAR YOU AND UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE FEELING. I did talk to my doctor and have appointment to talk with a therapist. I don't know if that will help my deepest, darkest feeling but I have to grab for hope somewhere. If you want to talk to someone who can relate, know that someone else out here knows your pain and will not judge, I will listen. MESSAGE ME TO TALK, WE ARE NOT ALONE, AND SOMETIMES THAT DOES EASE THE MENTAL PAIN AND GUILT. IM HERE!
Maria 4 years ago
Thank you Staci. Suicide doesn't stop pain, it just passes it to someone else.
Load More Replies... PiscesMama 4 years ago
As someone with progressive Multiple Sclerosis and so facing self-euthanasia (not suicide) I’d recommend talking to a professional to work through your perceptions of your own limitations. You need to accept your reality before you can help others come to terms with it. It’s lovely to think he might embrace you and tell you everything will be ok…but that’s too much to ask. He will be in shock, confused and have questions about the future in practical terms. You need to deal with your own grief for the future you wanted before you can shoulder his grief too. Work on it, help him (yes, help him, this is now happening to him too and you’ve had more practice), then get on with living your best life for every minute that you can…hopefully with an informed and supportive partner…but if not, live every minute you have making yourself happy. I wish you a warrior energy to face it all.
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago (edited)
My opinion only. What if your husband loves you so much that he would have no reservations about becoming your caregiver? You obviously love him, so give him a chance to step up to the plate. He may choose to walk away, and that would be terrible, but he may want to stay. You won't know until you tell him. After that settles, decide when and how to tell the kids.
PiscesMama 4 years ago
I hope you never find out how naive that statement is.
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Nienke Cnossen 4 years ago
I've got two severe progressive gen defects. I'm 45 years and need8ng more and more help. While my body is in more pain (opiates work) and I'm so exhausted. Ive hadgood conversations with my gp about euthanasia. And he understands my request not now,, but there shall be lines I don't want to cross. People in my inner circle know about this and they all understand. For now life has more fun to offer that the unbearable pain. I don't want to get old. I think getting 50 5 yers fom now, shall be long enough.
Lucie Davis 4 years ago
Ask about scoliosis surgery now, while you're as young as you are! Take this step for yourself! Show you believe in a brighter future!!!
Sally Murray 4 years ago
Go to doctor - ask about new treatments - there are biologics, new things that can help with the arthritis and especially with pain. Don't suffer without fighting for yourself and your family by trying to get help.
#11
That the real root of my trust issues stem from how I was sexually assaulted by my extremely religious godparents’ son when I was 11-12. It first started out with comments about my body, how I was “filling out”, then it evolved from there. My parents would send me to their house for whole summers and I particularly remember that one, my mom came to visit and I practically begged her to take me home. She adamantly refused even after I told her I was not comfortable and was scared and she still left me with them. I guess from there I just slowly stopped trusting the ones closest to me.
Scagsy 4 years ago
I really think that you need to talk to somebody about this. Preferably a therapist. You don't have to deal with it on your own.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
No, but the distrust never dies. Not fully. Speaking from experience on being a child left to the nutters.
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Solidhog 4 years ago
You should not let your mother's mistake stop you from trusting others. We all have instances where those we have trusted have let us down or betrayed us. But we will always need others to help us at points in our lives. Instead use these experiences to help you to try and identify who you can and cannot rely on.
Fester Sixonesixonethree 4 years ago
I'm so very sorry you went through that torture. It happened to me, too - but by my own family member.
Yoga Kitty 4 years ago
Sorry to hear that, hope you have found a much better place now and got help to deal with the trauma! *offers hugs*
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 4 years ago
I went through a similar situation at a similar age and I know exactly what it can do to you. I'm not sure what country you are in, but in the US, women's shelters usually offer free counselling and are practiced with familial/incestual and similar kinds of child abuse. If you are in a country with access to free mental healthcare, please get some help, if you haven't already. What happened is not your fault, no matter how many times it happened, no matter how you felt about it at the time, no matter what you did or didn't do. I have learned to live comfortably with what I experienced, with no negative attitudes towards myself because of it. I have learned to trust people again. You deserve the same.
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
This shouldn’t be something that’s kept a secret. Is this person still out there abusing children? Go to the police and report historical abuse. Even if a prosecution fails, at least intelligence would be out there and flags raised.
Gabriela Chico-Farias 4 years ago
You need to seek professional help to sort through the trauma you experienced. Sexual assault and betrayal of trust by those closest to you are terrible things to carry around for the rest of your life.
#12
I ate all 4 sleeves of oreos in one sitting.
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
If that's the worst secret you have, you are rocking life! I salute you.
Azrael Haraldssen 4 years ago
You're misunderstanding this issue; this isn't eating a few cookies. This is an unhealthy addiction to food. I can say this because I have it. It's eating cookies until you vomit or gorging on cake until you can't move. This isn't "rocking life" so you shouldn't consider celebrating it. It's sad and a cry for help.
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#13
Exactly how bad of a person I used to be before I met her. She knows I was into drugs and some other dumb stuff, but she doesn't know the depths of depravity I delved to in order to fit in with the people I mistakenly wasted my time with.
Joanne Humphreys 4 years ago
You don't have to tell people everything you know, we are allowed to be private.
Susan Green 4 years ago (edited)
The most important thing though, is that was the person you used to be, is not the person you are now.
Ines Olabarria-Smith 4 years ago
That’s what I was going to say!!! You’re not that person anymore. Please stop chastising yourself. Maybe one day you can tell her or not, it doesn’t matter.
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Gabriela Chico-Farias 4 years ago
This makes me think about my father. He died when I was 10. You could say I had him on a pedestal. Slowly as the year went by, I learned about all the "bad" things he did. It made me hate him. As I got older and life dealt me my own hardships, I understood him. He was a human being. He made mistakes just like any other human. He was still my dad. I wish I knew him as an adult. Both sides of the coin are hard.
#14
I was crying, and told my boyfriend someone had kissed me. He asked if it was his 30 year old cousin. I said yes. He asked me over and over if anything else happened. I was 15. I said no. I lied.
Marcellus II 4 years ago
By "him" you mean "the police and/or a lawyer" I assume?
Load More Replies... BasedWang 4 years ago
definitely report and def tell the boyfriend so he can bring attention to it... who knows who else there is
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
Exactly, sexual predators don’t just stop at one victim.
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Davis the Un-Greatest 4 years ago
You should talk to him about it. I’m very very sorry this happened to you, beyond words.
Gabriela Chico-Farias 4 years ago
I'm sure she's already putting TONS of guilt on herself. "could've, would've, should've" are actually not allowed to be said in therapy. It took me many years of therapy to stop doing the "would've, could've, should've" scenarios in my head.
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Melissa McGuire 4 years ago
Definitely tell him. He's probably dinner this before. You might save someone else.
Barbara Vandewalle 4 years ago
He must of suspected something was off about his cousin. Tell him so he can warn the rest of the family. You are not the only one he hurt, the other family members who have been hurt will receive courage from you speaking up.
#15
Just how much I depend on her. For our first eight or so months of marriage, my wife and I were never apart due to moving around and being in lockdown. Even now we're hardly apart since we both work from home.
She doesn't know just how sad I get when she goes away. I miss her so much, and all I really want to do is curl up on the bed and wait for her to come back. I lose my smile, I lose interest in all my hobbies, everything. Once she gets back though, I'm alright again.
H Edwards 4 years ago
This may not be a problem for the relationship yet, but it will be. He needs to learn some emotional independence or it will all end very badly.
Anthony Nizza 4 years ago
Definitely and because it was for the first 8 months of their marriage.
Load More Replies... Susan Green 4 years ago
That’s not a healthy relationship though. You both need to have some time apart every once in a while, without getting upset about it.
Dre Mosley 4 years ago
Not very healthy when your happiness is derived only from another person.
Rhon Young 4 years ago
My parents were married for 61 years. The only time they were apart was when one of them had to go to hospital. Fa
Skara Brae 4 years ago
No offense, but your story reminds me of a puppy. Not that there's anything wrong with it. She must be amazing.
#16
That I'm dying faster than she thinks I am.
Mazer 4 years ago
My father kept his fatal situation to himself, it was unfair to all of us and himself. He robbed us of the last year to be supportive, to be empathic, to share some good last times, to make lasting memories and to make certain he felt loved. Be honest.
María Hermida 4 years ago
He didn't rob you of anything. He had his reasons. Why wait until somebody is dying to have a good time together and to make certain they feel loved? You never know what the future will bring, do enjoy the present and show your love. Today.
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Susan Green 4 years ago
If you really love her, you need to tell her. You should never keep this from the people you love. Some people do not want to tell the people they love something like this, because they don’t want to hurt them, but when it comes right down to it, you have to, because they are going to be there for you in the end.
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
The rage and betrayal she'll feel at not knowing will complicate her grief.
Dispatcherqueen 4 years ago
Look up Death Is Nothing at All from familyfriendlypoems.com. It's too long to post here. It's so beautiful, I think it will help you both. And I am so sorry for the situation you are in
Thundercuss 4 years ago
I just looked it up and read it. That is a wonderful poem.
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Jessany Trotter 4 years ago
Ah Jesus… you gotta come clean. Very important to take care of your earthly business.
#17
She doesn't know I'm straight.
Rick 4 years ago
Wtf? Tell her, and leave her, so she can hopefully find someone to spend the rest of her life with that actually loves and is attracted to her (and for you too, for that matter).
OJ 4 years ago
It’s possible this is a man dating a woman, who thinks he’s bi or ace or something, but if not, it totally agree
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Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 4 years ago
So she is heterosexual (sexually attracted to men), but homoromantic (falls in love with women only) - that sucks, but it obviously happens. I know of a man who falls in love with men, but is sexually attracted to women. Sex and love are not the same thing, but tough situation to be in for everybody involved.
classbag 4 years ago
I've never heard of this before. Thank you for sharing.
Load More Replies... Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
I have to ask, even if none of my business, then why are you there. NOT being sarcastic, just don't understand.
Something 4 years ago
On Reddit, she answered with "we both love each other." I'm not sure she's actually straight.
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Donkey boi 4 years ago
I know a guy (Let's call him Freddie), who falls in love with women, but Freddie is sexually attracted to Men. Freddie has told me that he has never loved a man, but has never been sexually attracted to any woman. Freddie considers himself to be gay, because that is where his sexual orientation is, but he believes that there is a clear difference between sex and love when it comes to orientation.
abby smink 4 years ago
There's romantic attraction and sexual attraction, so yes.
Load More Replies... Burs 4 years ago
This person needs to stop and think. Either they are using their partner for comfort and that’s terrible or they are bi and in denial.
Natalia Shoemark 4 years ago
Ouch.... good luck... just a thought tho, maybe your not that straight cos you are together? Love doesn't have to look just one way
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
best friends for one, lovers for the other, unfortunately you need to be honest with her as much as you are with yourself.
Synsepalum 4 years ago
You might be bisexual if you are in a happy, sexually active same-sex relationship. We exist.
#18
That I feel trapped and I hate myself and my life and I really just want to disappear and move away and leave my wife and three kids so they can finally be free of me, I feel like such a burden and so guilty that my kids love me, they’d be better off without me.
Elvira Kreft 4 years ago
It sounds like you need some help. I know the feeling realy wel i have been there , but know this your kids always need you .find someone to talk to get help
Deborah B 4 years ago
I'm so sorry you feel this way - It's a symptom of depression, and it's highly associated with suicidal thoughts. You need to get treatment. Speak to your doctor. Antidepressents and talk therapy can make things so much better. Your children deserve to have you alive, and part of their lives, and for you to be treated for this mental illness, so you can be.
Load More Replies... Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
I have suffered from chronic depression all my life; it runs in my family. Antidepressants are not necessarily the answer for everyone, but they saved my life. PLEASE at least talk to your doctor about options available to you.
Katinka Min 4 years ago
That sound like a depression. I hope he goes to find help. So mayn men don't do that because of this toxic idea that men have to be strong and self-reliant, at all times. When in fact they are just humans.
Not Proud British 4 years ago
Your kids would always blame themselves. They don't want any other father, they want you. Confide in someone close to you, whether that is your wife or a friend, about how you feel. Ask for help. Call the Samaritans and know that you are loved, valued and treasured.
Solidhog 4 years ago
Please talk to someone about how you feel. I know it is hard and scary to do and you feel ashamed about how you feel and hide it. But you need to take that first step and it will lead to many more that will take you to a better place and help you realise that what you feel is not the truth.
Skara Brae 4 years ago
As you know, therapists are trained to help. Maybe you are already seeing one. Anyway, the really sucky thing about feeling that way is it's very hard to stop, even when given solid proof that your worst suspicions are false. Example: you said yourself that your kids love you. Therefore, they will not be better off without you. I'm guessing pointing that out doesn't help much, but you know it's true. The only advice I have is, pick one thing that you can change. Maybe find a different job, or even get a different hair color. I could be anything. Then maybe pick another thing to change. A little step at a time. You deserve to feel better.
Burs 4 years ago
It’s insane how irrational the depressed brain can be. I remember once that I was in the sofa with the dog while my partner was making me pancakes for breakfast. Such a lovely moment. And my brain kept telling me how “ obituaries loved me”. So irrational.
Load More Replies... lara 4 years ago
You are seriously depressed. Go to your doctor and explain. You are NOT weak nor are you a burden. You have serious serotonin uptake problems. Go here: https://www.nhs.uk/mental-health/talking-therapies-medicine-treatments/medicines-and-psychiatry/ssri-antidepressants/overview/. You are NOT a failure nor are you a "bad person" you will NOT believe the difference in your life once this is treated. As my physician said to me one time: it is a chemical imbalance in your brain, like be a diabetic wherein you need to replace a missing chemical so to does your brain need a missing item. It is NOT a mental problem.
#19
She's my ex now, but, she had just revealed to me some very, uh, confidential information, info I understand I'm one of only four people to know. She asked me if I have any deep secrets like that. I lied and told her I didn't, but the truth is, my grandmother by marriage (no blood relation) sexually harassed and abused me as a preteen and teenager. Literally nobody irl knows. I've never told anyone.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
I hope you have come to realise that this is not your fault, no mater what. please talk to someone x
TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
Not just anyone. A therapist is a good option
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Gelato Cat 4 years ago
I was sexually assaulted as a young child, it was so hard to tell my mother and I brought it up as a joke because I was very confused, I felt unbearably guilty for about a while after wards, all I can say is that if you speak up it gets better. It does matter how old your abuser was, if they are dead it is NOT and insult to there memory to seek help, it is hard to speak up and you do not have too now, but it clears the hurt in your mind
Katinka Min 4 years ago
He told the web and that is a decent first step. I hope he can find a therapist.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
One of the hardest things about being abused is the knowledge that it can be physically pleasurable for some people, especially young men. That's worse when it's familial or incestual abuse. A lot of people find it impossible to talk about because it's cripplingly painful to put sexual pleasure and abuse in the same basket. Fortunately, trained therapists can help you come to terms with it. I hope you are able to seek help.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Why did you lie? Ask a therapist why you are having difficulty discussing this incest. Keep in mind, this isn't as uncommon as you might think.
Barbara Vandewalle 4 years ago
You may not be the only person she has attacked. Find out what you can and tell the rest of the family. Speaking may save the next young ones from her.
#20
My wife asked me not to pee in the shower. I told her I wouldn't but I do it every time I shower.
H Edwards 4 years ago
Hahaha, this one is the same in my relationship but with the roles reversed. No man is going to stop me from peeing in the shower (yes I clean the shower regularly, thanks).
Andrew Gibb 4 years ago
It is environmentally friendly- it takes loads of water to flush the toilet.
Mad Dragon 4 years ago
The average shower uses two gallons of water per minute. The average toilet uses ten gallons for a solid flush. Why not combine the two? I’m a woman, and I see no problem for my husband to pee in the shower if it is washed away during his shower. Don’t ask, don’t tell.
Load More Replies... Mad Dragon 4 years ago
When I'm on my period I definitely drop some blood down the drain while showering. It gets washed away and no one ever knows. Why would pee be any different?
Caroline Nagel 4 years ago
The water and pee drain away immediately. It's not as if people are soaking in pee for hours.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Why on earth can't you pee in the shower. It all gets washed away down the plughole!
Marnie 4 years ago
If no one takes a bath, maybe it's not so bad. But if they do, it's gross. Also, if it splatters, it might hit an area that isn't actually washed by the shower.
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Mike Loux 4 years ago
There is absolutely nothing wrong with peeing in the shower. Both my wife and I do it. I mean, it goes straight down the drain, and it's not like we don't clean the bathroom every week.
Adrian 4 years ago
Urine is pretty much sterile. You can drink it, in a pinch, as many survivors have done. Toilets and shower drains end up in the same place so I agree this is totally OK!
littlesaresare 4 years ago
Sterile, yes, but god no, do not drink it. Urine will dehydrate you further. Unless you actually filter it and then drink the resultant WATER, you CANNOT drink urine in a survival situation.
Load More Replies... #21
I’m bisexual.
I am able to talk about many morbid things I have experienced and witnessed, I could be open about how many girls I have slept with, but if the truth got out that I once had a boyfriend years ago and I still find men attractive, I am afraid that it will be over.
I have experienced enough rejection from women whenever I opened up about my sexuality
Vinnie 4 years ago
That is a shame. And i feel sorry that women rejected you because you opened up about it. I don't love my husband any less because he find men attractive to. quite the opposite, i love him more for speaking up.
Scagsy 4 years ago
Same. My wife is bisexual and I have no problem with that. Unless she starts cheating on me with a boy or a girl it doesn't change anything.
Load More Replies... Burs 4 years ago
It is sad how spread biphobia is and how little people talk about it. Even In the queer community I have found a lot of biphobic people.
Bacony Cakes 4 years ago
how do you even be biphobic they're literally just both-butto...3b-png.jpg 
Natalia Shoemark 4 years ago
Wrong women then. I wish people would understand that love is love.
Nudge 4 years ago
wait just realized the gender of OP was not confirmed, oops. ANYONE WHO IS BIPHOBIC IS NOT CHILL
Load More Replies... Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
Any advice from me, who has never experienced your circumstances, would be worthless. All I can say is I hope you find peace with yourself.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
someone send this guy a hug. x it's sad to think he still needs to hide his emotions. x
ThatOneWriter 4 years ago
It's terrible that they rejected you for that alone. Biphobia is very real and very painful.
Kendra Miller 4 years ago
Stupid women, they should be flattered not disgusted. Their are twice as many fish in the sea for their boyfriend then if he was just straight. Out of all those people he picked her.
#22
I suffer from chronic depression. My SO is super sweet and supportive, but I am afraid of unloading too much of my crazy on him. I keep dark thoughts and feelings from him all the time, I'd make him miserable if I didn't.
He knows, btw, I am not keeping all of it from him, just a lot of the excessive stuff.
Burs 4 years ago
I feel that this is the only way to deal with depression or other problems. You need to be open with your partner but you can’t be completely open because it will just hurt them.
classbag 4 years ago (edited)
Well, a partner isn't a therapist. You should be honest and open with your partner about the fact that you're dealing with depression and its severity but also seek help from a professional. That's what therapists are trained for, and dumping everything on your partner CAN be too much.
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grotesqueer 4 years ago
As long as he knows the severity your depression and its symptoms, I think it might be right move not to talk about everything in detail. Therapists are for that. While openness and honesty is important in a relationship, it's also important not to put your partner in a therapist's role by accident. It might be good idea still to let him know about the darkest thoughts as well, or at least what they're like if not what they exactly are, just do he's aware what's going on. But being constantly open about what you're thinking about each hard moment isn't helpful.
Josy Bannon 4 years ago
Yep, exactly like you say grotesqueer. People who say, open up, tell them, dont understand that we are talking about severe mental health issues here. Although its important to know someone is going through some serious stuff the issues dont go away without professional help.
Load More Replies... Katinka Min 4 years ago
That's why it is so imprtant to have a therapist. We shoud not misuse partners as therapists.
LeilaOdinis 4 years ago
I haven't been in a relationship because of this as well. For a long time, I believed I wasn't worthy of anything. That is changing though :)
TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
If you have a friend that's going through the same thing, you could talk to that friend about it. That friend wouldn't judge you because they're going through the same thing. I have a friend I talk to about my suicidal thoughts and they talk to me about theirs too and it's a free flowing conversation with no judgements at all. I can't talk about it freely with my partner and that's okay. My partner is my best friend but my other friends can help too
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
I am the founder of the Dark Humor Gang, a group of high school-aged teenagers like me who are depressed, anxious, or alternative. Several of us, myself included, were considering suicide at some point, but talking about it to people who were going through it too was a great relief.
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Zei Kiljoy 4 years ago
Talk to a therapist. They can help you sort through your thoughts and if help you figure out how to explain it to him. Also talk to a therapist to help you. Try cognitive therapy, it can really help you stir away from dark thoughts, it helped me a ton. You deserve to be happy and not have to deal with the dark thoughts.
#23
I'm thinking of divorce. My wife is scared of me. If I am working on something and I swear or vent my frustration. She runs to me (usually I am alone) and wants to know how to fix it. Then she leaves the house when I say I am just mad that: I burned my hand. Toilet is clogged. I stripped a screw and need to drill it out. She told me this weekend that when I am mad she gets scared, and that just broke something in me since I can't fully process it. I don't know why, I have never even raised my voice to her. But she cringes and covers her ears whenever a loud noise occurs. I spoke to my parents and friends, they think it sounds like she has been abused in the past. But she doesn't want to talk about it, and when we disagree we don't even get to argue. She just locks herself away from me and our kids. We are in marriage counselling because I haven't been happy for a long time. But she was arguing with the Therapist about what I really feel and how I should take vacations alone since I have had panic attacks on vacation before and that ruins them for me (or maybe her). I don't know what to do, but I am tired of walking on eggshells.
Chucky Cheezburger 4 years ago
Just my unprofessional thoughts, but it sounds like theres some past trauma. When you get angry, it triggers the same response to someone in her past that pointed their anger towards her. I have that reaction when my wife gets frustrated. Its a primal kind of fear. I feel this unholy fear either to fix it to make the anger go away or run and hide. She doesnt know any of this.
Parmeisan 4 years ago
OP specifically said that "I spoke to my parents and friends, they think it sounds like she has been abused in the past. But she doesn't want to talk about it..." The fact that there is trauma is very very sad, but it sounds like she won't let OP help her through that trauma, and they're just at the end of their rope about the whole situation. It sucks for everyone. And them leaving may only make it worse for her. But it shouldn't have to be on him to live with it, either, if he's finding it so impossible.
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bonnyatlast 4 years ago
You are not the only one walking on eggshells here. Record yourself. You need a different perspective of what is really going on. My husband does that. Just verbal when he has a problem of any sort. Imagine a blow horn from a football game sounding off at random times. In your house. All the time.
Iggy 4 years ago
Excellent idea. Just because he's not shouting directly at his wife, it doesn't mean he's not shouting.
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Isabel Schulze 4 years ago
I'm a harmonic person. I have been abused as a kid, got abused by boyfriends over the years and even raped and hit by my ex husband. And I can't deal with my new partner raising his voice because of unrelated stuff. It's been 30 years of hate and hurt, and I can understand your wife. I also have the urge to make his problems Go away before they hurt me. She is unable to recognise the difference between normal anger and her being in danger. I suggest you both should go to therapy individually in addition to your marriage counselling. I also recommend visiting a self help group for relatives of abused persons if there is one where you at.
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
She may have had a rough childhood. I can't cope with people shouting at each other.
Elvira Kreft 4 years ago
It sounds to me like she neads jou more then ever marrige is is sonething you need to realy work on together i hope you can help here open up and heal
Lisa Whipp Myhre 4 years ago
When my 16 year old spectrum son gets frustrated at the computer, it triggers me...that grunting and exasperation. Crap. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. fuque
C W 4 years ago (edited)
Keep doing therapy. If you aren't making headway with this therapist, try another. I wish I'd switched instead of spending a year making no progress. So if you go with your wife a few times and it isn't improving anything, try another therapist or 2. After 3 different ones, my husband and I settled on a fantastic couples therapist. Your wife sounds like she has some last trauma maybe, as I do and though I don't go running to my husband when he something frustrates him and he lets out a yell, my heart speeds up and I sometimes shake cuz it's terrifying. We also each have individual therapist that we've had to cycle threw a few to get to. We both have PTSD. Him from multiple deployments and me from a highly abusive father and many abusive exes. Going to this many therapists isn't permanent, and we started before we had many issues simply to learn how to grow together as we became parents. But I promise, it has helped immensely. With the right person, you both could get a ton of clarity
C W 4 years ago (edited)
Just to clarify: he doesn't yell at me. I'm talking stubbed his toe in the garage or something. But my father had explosive anger issues and after stubbing his toe on the other side of the house would come inside to rage at everyone in it and throw s**t around. So although my husband has never once did that, my body reacts like he might. Your wife may be experiencing something like this??
Load More Replies... Zei Kiljoy 4 years ago
It sounds like she needs to think about therapy not just for her but the kids as well.
#24
Got someone pregnant in highschool, gave up custody so I wouldn't have to pay child support. They all died in a car crash 5 years later.
Nugua Nugua 4 years ago (edited)
You only have to pay child support if you have custody? What a crappy system...
classbag 4 years ago (edited)
No, that's not the case. I believe this person means they gave up their parental rights, not just custody. But even then you still often have to pay some kind of support. Not always, though.
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Barbara Vandewalle 4 years ago
Visit their grave and talk to them. Unloading the grief will lighten the load.
AzKhaleesi 4 years ago
Well that escalated quickly good Lord. I can't imagine the guilt I would have.
April Pickett 4 years ago
And you're still going over it and over it, feeling guilty and blaming yourself? Get yourself to a therapist/psychiatrist pronto.
Hey Ho neighbours 4 years ago
No one else seems to have noticed "they ALL" died in a car crash. The mother and child? And another child of hers? Her new partner? Or did he have multiple children with this woman, twins? or more than one separate pregnancy? I don't know why but that wording confused me the most and makes me want to know. Poor woman. Poor all of them, who ever "they all" are. That's so sad.
#25
I'm not sure I actually love him, or if I just don't want to be alone or start a new relationship from scratch.
lara 4 years ago
The thing about love is it constantly changes. The love you feel when you first "fall in love" is not the love that you have ten years later. Love becomes more comfortable, an important foundation for your lives, you are two individuals who make a whole. If you expect everything to remain the same you fail to realize that you are growing and life changes when you grow. If you throw it away for not feeling like you did when you started then you throw away your future.
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
Yes. Love isn't always the wild, rushing, jumbling mix of emotions it is at first. And you may not always feel it. But it's there, and at times it may be the only stable thing you can count on in life.
Load More Replies... Nadine 4 years ago
If you're not sure, that means you don't. Let him have a chance at real love. With someone else. You too.
Parmeisan 4 years ago
This is not a true assessment. Many people think love is always wild and obvious, and leave relationship after relationship when the love changes (as it almost always does) to the stronger but calmer kind. I actually never had the wild-love with my husband, but our relationship is so strong and wonderful now and I love him so, so much. You would need to know a lot more about the individuals, their relationship, and their feelings, before you could truly make a judgement on this.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 4 years ago
When this situation arises, and it does in plenty of relationships, you need a third party to sort out your feelings. Do it. At least you'll have an answer.
#26
That I'm scared of him.
Lydia Dean-Melchior 4 years ago
Make a plan. Work the plan. Include financials, and get the h#ll away from him!!!
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
nope- this is not good. you need to do some serious thinking about this relationship
Miss Frankfurter 4 years ago
I don't know if you are scared he WILL do something, or if he has ALREADY done things. Either way, get the hell out now. Apologies and I'll never do it again. It's bu!!$h!+. Always. If you are scared he will do something, but hasn't yet, follow your gut. It won't lie to you. Tell someone. The person you trust most. Do not be embarrassed. Nothing to be embarrassed. They love you. Make a plan. Financially and logistically. If there's kids, quietly talk to a lawyer so you understand your rights. If you're by yourself, do the same thing, but you can skip the lawyer. Do not tell him what you are going to do. Don't say "im leaving you". Wait until he's going to be gone for a time that day and just do it. Let a trusted person know so they won't report you missing. You're not. Once you've left, let the police know. They know you're not missing. They don't have to tell him one damned thing. Just drive. Anywhere. Away. These are just SUGGESTIONS. Do it the way YOU need to. But get the hell out.
Lyn Moffett 4 years ago
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I really hope you can get away and though I don't know you I will be thinking of you ,, whoever you are,,, please follow the above advise. It DOESNT get better,,EVER. Good luck to you sweetheart.
Load More Replies... #27
I once pooped in their garage because I was waiting for her to come home and let me in. Blamed it on the raccoons.
classbag 4 years ago
Right? Dig a trench! Why would you poop inside their garage?!
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Karolina Paulina 4 years ago
I think it was one comedy movie when guy popped in house for some reason and blamed the dog. It turns out that dog was mascot...
#28
Declining mental health and everyday drug addiction. I wish I hadn't been so good at hiding it.
I needed help.
ThoughtsAreNotFacts 4 years ago
I hope you're okay now. Healing after addiction takes a long time, but it's a valuable gift to yourself.
DrGirlfriend 4 years ago
If I can do it...anyone can. Work out the detox and once you feel human again and are able to sleep and eat normally you will have regained so much of yourself that you thought you lost, it's in there... You're in there. Give yourself the time you need to heal. I had to move hours away from everyone and everything I knew as to block myself from relapse... I've been sober such a long time 7 years from being a junk bomb dope, coke needles, to being a wife, a mom, the thoughts come back In the back of my mind I still find confetti but I'm strong enough to not care about them. I hope you find peace and get the help you need
TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
Please go to therapy! Or to an addicts anonymous group that's specific to your addiction! And please commit to it. It'll help you
classbag 4 years ago
It's in past tense, so that makes me think they have gotten help. I truly hope so.
Load More Replies... Riley Quinn 4 years ago
You needed help? Sounds like you still do. Why don't you do something extraordinary and make an appointment with your local MH clinic?
#29
I hooked up with a professor of mine in college and after that she would pimp me out to her colleagues. That’s not the label she would have given it, but that’s what it was.
G 4 years ago
I hope you're being serious with that comment. The ellipses make it seem like you're being sarcastic. Anybody who's put in a position to have do sexual things because of a person of power, is being abused. Clearly the OP doesn't feel great about the situation. If you were taking it seriously I apologize but your punctuation makes it questionable.
Load More Replies... Katinka Min 4 years ago
There is a reason why teachers should not have affairs with their students. Because of the powerinbalance it is just not healthy.
Susan Green 4 years ago (edited)
If it was a male professor, he would have been labeled as a creep, and it would have been considered as being illegal. I don’t understand why if a women does this, it’s considered to be not as bad.
classbag 4 years ago (edited)
I don't think anyone here thinks this isn't gross. I'm sure we all can agree it's disgusting. However, a professor sleeping with a student isn't illegal if both people are of age. It's just against the rules at most institutions because it's an abuse of power.
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Nadja Lambacher 4 years ago (edited)
From Op: "It wasn’t entirely without its benefits for me. I did have a lot of fun and I met a lot of interesting and successful people. But mostly I wasn’t taken seriously as much more than a toy, and that’s when it started losing its appeal for me." It is a grey area.
G 4 years ago
OK well that changes my reaction. I was feeling bad because of the whole power-play and the position the person was put in, but clearly they were OK with it so never mind. Thanks for sharing that.
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Billie Templeton 4 years ago
Don't know what the statute of limitations is.... But her abuse of you, by manipulating you to get you to she to have sex with other staff (and her abuse of power by having an affair with you to begin with... And it WAS abuse of power), could cost her everything if you want it to
Lauren St.Pierre 4 years ago
I really hope s**t like this isn't going unnoticed in 2021 =/ I wish it never had.
classbag 4 years ago
It's not illegal if the person was of age and wasn't coerced. It's just seriously ethically wrong and grounds for the people in authority involved with the student to be fired.
Load More Replies... Karolina Paulina 4 years ago
You would think that someone well educated is more civilized. I'm so sorry for you.
classbag 4 years ago (edited)
Education doesn't make people civilized. Kindness and empathy do.
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Carolyn Smythe 1 year ago
If she was pimping you out, did you at least get paid?? Sorry, just kidding. But seriously...Was she holding something on you, so you couldn't stop it? Find her, punch her in the face, and break her nose!! Then publicly embarrass her by saying that pimping out her students to colleagues is a crime! Get her & her co-conspirators fired!
#30
Nothing dark, but I hide pints of ice cream in the back of the freezer. If I don't hide it then it's gone. My girlfriend has 0 self control and will eat the entire pint in one sitting. I like to spread it out so I can have an enjoyable snack a few days in a row. Sometimes I'll even buy one with gluten in it intentionally so she can't have it. She has celiac and can't have gluten.
Little king trash mouth 4 years ago
Omg this is me and my husband! I like to spread my treats out throughout the week but he eats them too fast! I literally will buy something now and tell him it's mine. Like only mine. lol
Marnie 4 years ago
I used to drive my husband crazy. It wasn't snack, just anything. When I buy something, I will eat that one thing until it's gone. Then I move on to the next thing. (Maybe it's something to do with being autistic?) Anyway, he would eat it once, then expect there would still be some two weeks later. I figured it it didn't keep eating it, he didn't want more. We had horrible communication, so it was about 2 years before I realized I was driving him nuts. After that, i would buy his and hers. I'd eat mine all up and he could eat his at his weird pace :-)
Okasan Willis 4 years ago
My ex would do the same with ice cream. So I would get 1 with cherry in as he hated them
Not A Panda 4 years ago
Just get ice cream with gluten for you and without for her. I mean, that seems like a very easy solution to me.
Truth Monster 4 years ago
If your gf grew up in poverty, chances are this is her upbringing showing. Food insecurity often leads to bingeing behavior.
#31
I hate that she compares me to ex husband and i have to prove her wrong over and over again....i hate that i have to pay for is past mistakes. Like ugh starting to wonder if i can kepp doing this....i really do love her but its making me depressed
Kari Panda 4 years ago (edited)
Never blame people for the mistakes others made. I had a friend once who kept telling me that I‘d just leave him like all his other friends before. I liked him and had no intention of ending our friendship and continually reassured him as much. Yet he kept insisting day after day after day that I would be just like the others and would drop him. After a year or two of this, I couldn’t take it anymore and indeed ended our friendship. Self-fulfilling prophecy.
Got Myself 4 Dwarves 4 years ago
I feel this as someone who left an abusive marriage and now married to someone else. I do my best to not compare, and I don't judge my husband by what my ex was like, but even 12 years after I ended my first marriage I still carry certain behaviours I learned while with him to protect myself, I still get nervous when telling my husband I have plans to do something or have to talk to him about something fairly serious. But I don't see that as him paying for my ex's behaviour - it's more that my past has shaped me into the person I am today, the good and the bad, every life event does. I've learned certain behaviours that became habit for a long time that I'm still trying to unlearn, I was left broken down and my trust in people was shattered but at the same time I understand that these are my issues, not anyone else's but as a result I need certain levels of reassurance to feel confident in my relationship. I trust him 100% but still, sometimes that old feeling pops up unexpectedly
Kari Panda 4 years ago
You sound like you’re handling the matter well. You can’t control your feelings, you can only control how you react to them. Being nervous if you have to address a serious topic is fine imho, being aware that a lot of this is based on your past experiences and that your current husband isn’t automatically the same as your ex-husband is what matters. Also, I find asking for reassurance and explaining why you need it is a great thing that prevents a lot of misunderstandings and hurt feelings.
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Janice Blaufox 4 years ago
Leave this unhealthy relationship and find one where you are loved appreciated for who you are.
Susan Green 4 years ago
This is wrong. No one should have to pay for the past mistakes of others.
Henry Cheves 4 years ago
I'd recommend marriage counseling and possibly personal counseling for her to help her get over her ex.
Carolyn Smythe 1 year ago
Have an open and honest conversation, seek out professional advice and support...If she can't get past this...she probably never will.
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Talk to her about this. You are NOT her ex, but if she continues, she will drive a wedge between you and drive you apart..
#32
That there is literally nothing about myself that I actually like and I honestly have no idea what he sees in me... All the men I've been with before him (only three) made it crystal clear they were with me because I was nice, supportive, safe, and convenient. Because I put up with [them]. They weren't actually attracted to me — just what I could do for them. ... It's hard to build confidence when my whole life has been about what's (objectively) wrong with me when everyone around me, including my romantic partners, compliment everything except my appearance. Now I'm in my mid-30s, and this is the first one who I think might actually be attracted to me. It feels too good to be true.
Not Proud British 4 years ago
When you look at you, you see all the faults and blemishes but when he looks at you, he sees beyond that. Don't question it, just accept it. He loves you inside and out. Perhaps it's time you learnt to love yourself too?
chrissy goodman 4 years ago
i kno the feeling most guys i dated admitted they were only dating me bc i had a hot body and beautiful face. they didnt care for who i actually was every time i heard that i left so my confidence in myself got very low like rock bottom low. eventually i met a guy while i was wearing a baggy hoodie, sunglasses, yoga pants and worn out converse shoes the hoodie cover my butt too. i looked like crap and had high anxeity that day after about a few weeks of hanging out he brought me to his house and he was shocked wen i took off my hoodie. he never saw under the hoodie before that day and the only thing he said was "i didnt realize u had a nice body too" my confidence went way up after hearing that. it was just "have a nice body" it was "have a nice body TOO" i said thanks giggled a bit and then he said "thats wat i like most ur cute smile and how shy u r its adorable. ur funny, fun to b around, silly, sweet, caring and have a beautiful heart." that gave me another confidence boost. this guy is now my husband been together for 7 years married for 1 (took him awhile to find the best way to propose but it was worth it. he nailed it set it up so perfectly i cried pure happiness)
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I can promise you, if he says he finds you attractive, he does. My wife has a similar history, but doesn't understand that it is one of the most used mental abuse tactics out there. My wife is beautiful, and I'm sure you are too, but the so called "men" in the past would never let you feel like you are. It's putting you down while complimenting other attributes that stereotypically women do not think men are interested in. This is to make you feel like you will never find anybody to love you. My wife will never believe me when I tell her she is the most attractive woman I've ever met. I just hope that one day, you can believe your partner.
Rhon Young 4 years ago
I'm not attractive at all but my husband is gorgeous. I asked him many years ago, what it was that attracted him to me. He said it was because I loved him for who he was not for what he looked like. I treated him normally. After 34 years of marriage he still comes up to me and says "I love you!"
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
Beauty is in the mind's eye of the beholder. Nobody is beautiful to everyone (physically or otherwise).
Raven DeathShade 4 years ago
"Nobody ever loves me like you do, I'd love to see me from your point of view."
Sathe Wesker 4 years ago
"You are your own worst critic"... Hun, were all beautiful in our own ways and it really doesn't have to boil down to looks. I am attracted to my man physically, but I'm honestly far more attracted to his personality and how he treats me. Best man I've ever been with, eh his beer belly means s**t to me. They see it that way too... if he's a good man.
#33
That I’m unsure if I will ever be able to express and maintain deep emotional intimacy with anyone
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
I realized a long time ago I don't have the capacity for love that most people do. I can live with it.
Donkey boi 4 years ago
Emotions will fool you, some you think you don't have and won't be able to control when they come alive. Others are dormant or (as in my case) truly are absent. You learn that a relationship builds around the emotions you do have (whether you show them or not), the absent ones can be an issue, but are rarely a deal breaker.
TheWickedOne 4 years ago
I thought this to, until I met my current GF, who I plan on purposing to.. Don't give up.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Join the crowd, which consists mainly of child abuse victims who have never been taught how to love. And get a therapist.
Ripley Dog 4 years ago
Same. I have severe trust issues (that are reinforced over and over and over) and I have pretty thick emotional walls. I was working on them and made a lot of progress last year only to be screwed over. I don't think I'll ever be able to give 100% of myself, I always keep my "core" hidden from the world and even the closest people in my life.
#34
Not my gf now, but she didn’t know the extent or details of my childhood struggles. she knew I grew up in the projects up until age 10, but I think because i never wore it like a badge of honor or carried myself in the stereotypical way of someone who would come from that environment, many people think i was unaffected. and i never bothered to share those details because i never wanted to make a sob story out of a situation that i was blessed to get out of and that many people are still currently in. but that living situation has taken a toll on me in various ways that’d i love to expound upon for those who are interested.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
You certainly can right now with just about anyone in your life. The rule is not to regurgitate your whole story at once. Learn to dole out pieces so you won't shock the listener. I'll bet along the way, others will be more forthcoming about their own ef'd up childhoods.
LivingTheDream 4 years ago
I know I was able to share this with people in 12 step meetings. I'm sure there are support groups out there for that situation without having to be an addict first though ;) The best medicine is sharing with someone who understands and wants to grow.
Dr. Gregory House 4 years ago
I can relate to this. There were a lot of details I had not told my late girlfriend before she passed. My own struggles with depression and my own self doubts; along with losing motivations in myself, and various other issues also including how I grew up. I didn't tell her because she was going thru her own issues mentally and physically; I had to be there for her, and I couldn't bring it to myself to unload my problems onto her, a person already dealing with issues. I would speak about how my day was and my feelings, it's just I didn't want to burden her with more problems by bringing up my struggles. The only thing I ever confided to her, was when she was struggling with some issues and I spoke of my experiences with some self I had overcame, of which my hope was to try to help her.
#35
Her father once told me : if he could go back in time, he would never have dated her mother and have kids with her. Was pretty shocking thing to hear while on vacation with the whole step family. The guy has Asperger's. Weird family. The girl left me cold turkey a few months later after 7 years together, and i still didn't even think about telling her that story.
Kyle 4 years ago
My dad told me when I was 27 if he could go back and do anything differently he would not have kids. He meant it. He was an a$$hole. No excuse like asberger’s. Im 64 now. I don’t miss him.
oddkiddo 4 years ago
Being an asshole is not an Aspergers trait. That's an asshole trait. Some people with Aspergers might be assholes, but that's because they're assholes with Aspergers, not because they have Aspergers. <3
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Yoga Kitty 4 years ago
It may be related because of the blunt way he speaks about it. To the father, it is just the truth and being an aspy he might not realise how much of an emotional impact it has on other family members. I wish I got 10€ for every time somebody told me I was being mean, harsh or even worse, when in fact I thought I was being absolutely neutral - I could have stopped working by now with all this money...
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Christina Duan 4 years ago
Maybe because he was honest despite it being socially unacceptable? It's a relatively common trait associated with aspergers.
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Klas Klättermus 4 years ago (edited)
My mother alwayas told us to not make the same misstake as her and have children
Sadia Timmermans 4 years ago
My grandmother said the same thing at a family dinner. If she knew then what she knows now, she wouldn't have had 3 kids (including my mom), but 3 dogs! Because they give you love. Awfull, just awfull!!! Everybody was present to hear her.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
First off, the guy has Asperger's, which is NOT weird. His admission is not really out of the ordinary, and again, not weird. You're weird for regretting not telling his daughter this tidbit.
#36
My mom hated my ex (lets just call her Sarah) for how bad she hurt me when we broke up. My mom passed away about a week after seeing Sarah at the mall, and she gave Sarah dirty looks and a cold shoulder. Sarah and I saw each other soon after my mom passed, and she broke down and told me that based on their recent encounter, she was sure my mom hated her. I lied to her and said “no, she was just really sick at the end, She didn’t hate you.” Sarah and I are still good friends to this day and I will never tell her the truth that my mom hated her guts.
AngelWingsYT 4 years ago
Why tell her? All itll do is make her feel bad n like she did something wrong when she didnt.
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Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Good. Sarah doesn't deserve to know about your mum's likes and dislikes.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Not all truths require sharing. In this case, honestly will hurt the living more than the dead.
John Purves 4 years ago
I know forgiveness is a good thing, but if Sarah hurt you badly why are you still friends with her?
#37
That I had an abortion at 16.
Jo Johannsen 4 years ago
This is my opinion only, but unless it resulted in you being unable to have kids while he wants them, I don't think he needs to know.
H Edwards 4 years ago
There are loads of women who have had abortions from past relationships and have never told their current partner about it. I don't think this one is anyone's business, even a partner.
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Yeah, you heard 4 years ago
Abortion isn't (or at least, it shouldn't be) anything shameful. Presumably you are ok with abortion; any partner who opposes abortion has a significantly different moral system to you, so it may not work out. If you have to hide your morals and beliefs, things will be hard. Not saying to announce it, but you've not done anything wrong which warrants secrecy.
Janice Blaufox 4 years ago
No one needs to know that. It is not who you are. Life sometimes throws us bad stuff and you need to put it in the past so you can enjoy your life.
#38
I'm an iv drug user on and off. I work long contacts in isolation far away from home and I use a lot when I'm away. I clean up when I'm going home so my wife can't tell but I'm still not quite 100% when I'm home with her. She's struggling with stuff and it breaks my heart I can't meet her needs but I need this job to pay for our future. I'm trying to quit the drugs, it's easy when I'm home but as soon as I'm alone in this stupid little hole in the wall for work 4 weeks at a time I'm back to using. I don't know how to tell her.
LJ Robinson 4 years ago
Are you on an oil rig, or some fly-in only area? I am here to tell you from experience, you have to get a different job. Are the people around you using too? I think you might be looking forward to it as a treat after being straight for a couple of weeks at home. I used to. To be honest, I had to give up my job to get it together. I miss the money so much I could cry, but I was destroying myself. I wish you all the best.
LivingTheDream 4 years ago
Narcotics Anonymous has meeting everywhere. Addicts can find a support group anywhere in the world nowadays.
Ellie Nigretto 4 years ago
Addiction is a tough disease. It loves when we isolate and we put it in front of our families. The only way to stop if you want to be drug free is to open up about it. There are plenty of ways to get help. 12 step programs work for me and they are virtual now. You can attend and just listen to other addicts share their experience. You don't have to live by hiding
LivingTheDream 4 years ago
I have such a difficult time getting involved in online meetings.
Load More Replies... ThoughtsAreNotFacts 4 years ago
Honesty is usually better than someone finding out things like this were concealed. If you tell her now and ask for help, it may be less painful than her feeling deceived and manipulated
Leo Domitrix 4 years ago
There is no controlled/functional addict. Seen enough in my dad's family to know how it ends.
DrGirlfriend 4 years ago
Please get sober my friend. If I can do it...anyone can. You have to sort through why your doing this and address that. If it's Bordem there are literally millions of things to do, if it's because your too uncomfortable with yourself to deal with being alone for that long sweetheart please find a job that doesn't wreck you mentally. I will tell you Vermont is dry of workers wages are good here around 17$/30$ depending that's labor work. And not just Vermont but maybe states pay you an incentive of about 10k-12k I have seen some for 8k too look to see if moving to a state close by with incentives to work in that state. You can start all over somewhere and not be burnt out like this. Please don't give up in yourself like this and get your life back to when you were happy, only you can do that. I'm a sober 7 plus year IV drug user it destroyed everything I loved for near fifteen years. Took everyone's life I knew.. get help
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Man up and tell her you need help. A woman's intuition tells her something is not right and she tends to either blame herself or feel that you are having an affair, making her feel that it is her fault. Come clean with your information and you will find that she will be so much better than you can expect in helping you deal with this situation. And get some help.
#39
This is from my POV not Doofenshmirtz's My father is an AIDS patient,he did not reveal it to anyone and married my mom.And as a result I was born,unaffected,my mother also is unaffected.(happened in 2002) (To clarify the doubt from my father a DNA test was performed and I am his son but without the virus..)
H Edwards 4 years ago
Modern HIV drugs are so effective that the virus is undetectable and cannot be transmitted to a sex partner. Also, the only way a baby can be infected is via the mother, either during childbirth or breastfeeding. HIV positive mothers, even with no medication, do not pass HIV to the baby during gestation. With careful intervention, like a C-section and no breastfeeding, the baby can avoid infection altogether. The babies can also be given PrEP treatment as a precautionary measure.
Sa Ruuu 4 years ago (edited)
It's still insane to not disclose that to someone you marry. And when did he tell anyone? During pregnancy, during childbirth? If he didn't, then he potentially endangered his own child and wife and was just lucky both mom and baby came out healthy
Load More Replies... lara 4 years ago
Well, I am thankful that you are both safe. He, however, committed a crime by not notifying your mom of his condition. However, some aids meds do prevent transmission. But it is still a crime to have unprotected sex, without informing your partner, if you have aids. https://journalofethics.ama-assn.org/article/hiv-transmission-it-crime/2002-06
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
Sorry, but your father is a lying creep. Some states will even prosecute this grossly selfish action.
Jaded Queen 4 years ago
Aids patients can be so cruel. To sace themselves from discrimination. They r willing to destroy other lifes
Vicky Z 4 years ago
Wtf??? What was the purpose of this useless generalization that is not even true and is also completely insensitive?
Load More Replies... #40
That I’m probably a bit co-dependent at this point.
Riley Quinn 4 years ago
So, whatcha goin' do about this insight? Keep it to yourself or get therapy? Your call.
#41
I don't love her and feel as though I never will.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
I guess this is about their partner? if so you need to be honest, not just for her but also for you, you will grow old regretting what could have been
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
What made you feel that you loved her in the first place? Identify that, then ask if you still feel the same way. But do talk to her.
#42
I once found a very good little chocolate cake in the half price section of the local super market. I originally bought it so I and the lady in the house could have it for dessert, but I ended up eating the whole thing myself.
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
I would buy her flowers as a Sorry, I ate your portion of the chocolate cake I bought for us to eat. But it was delicious. Then go and buy her a decent Chocolate Cake.
Vivian Orr 4 years ago
Only time u need to worry about this behavior is if u are obese or it happens a lot. If it does it could be a signal of an eating disorder. But I find enjoying something all to myself occasionally is exciting. Lol
#43
What an incredibly f*cked up, dysfunctional white trash background I come from.
Scagsy 4 years ago
You can't choose your family or your upbringing. If you are aware of it then you can be who you want to be. Don't let the past define your future.
Ciel Pike 4 years ago
This, this is good advice I hope more people will see it
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Lynn Morello 4 years ago
You know and understand where you came from, You are not there now are you? Move on and don't return. What doesn't kill us serves to make us stronger. Use that strength to better yourself.
#44
My girlfriend soon to be fiancé has no idea of my extreme mental health struggle in the past how I used to be medicated and even checked myself into a hospital when I was extremely suicidal from said medications. I’ve since been fine and haven’t had a issue of anxiety or depression in years BUT it still hurts me knowing my brain could be so dark. When she talks about depression or anxiety she just doesn’t understand because she’s never had to deal with it. So I’ve kept it to myself to not put my old burden on her. Maybe one day I’ll bring it up.
smugdruggler 4 years ago
I hope you do talk about it. Depression is an illness, not a weakness and it's not something to be ashamed of.
Billie Templeton 4 years ago
Sounds like you're just hoping mental health won't be an issue on the future, and if it is you can just keep it to yourself... Which means carry it by yourself. That won't work. You know this intellectually but your fear of her rejection (now) is running the show. If she's the person you believe will love you she can accept this part too. Get counseling. Watch YouTube. Y'all can fight, together, to win this.
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
Every little bit helps to strengthen your relationship, not only with her, but with yourself as well.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
I always describe depression and anxiety as being trapped in a room with hundreds of people shoulder to shoulder, but around you there is a void, no one see's you yet no one is near, you feel isolated and alone while life thrives around you.
Bored Birgit 4 years ago
Depressions are a serious illness, and you can probably inherit it on your children. A soon to be married partner should know about this. It says "In guten wie in schlechten Tagen."
Load More Replies... #45
That I tripled money I put in crypto this year, but not cashing out for few years, if I told her how much we have in crypto she would nag me to sell.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Cryptocurrency can increase or decrease in value, but the risk of losing money is outweighed by the chance of gaining more money. You'd be a fool to sell just because your partner wants to go on a shopping spree.
TheBlackPanda (JustABlackBear) 4 years ago
Don't sell if you're doing okay with what you have. Play the long game with your investments and you'll get the best out of it
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
My husband and I have been together for 32 years, I have no idea what shares he has got, nor am I interested. If money is all she is interested in, then she is not your partner, she is a Gold Digger.
#46
Well, it doesn't matter anymore since we're divorced now--but--a few years ago, I banged my wife's cousin one night when she was in town and my wife was at work. Not taking away from the fact I was wrong in doing that, but, considering our divorce happened because it came out that my wife had cheated on me MULTIPLE times over the years (she has admitted to "several dozen" times)...I really don't feel bad about it.
Terilee Bruyere 4 years ago
I really hope you have both gotten tested for STDs, or will before starting new relationships.
#47
that I was abused as a kid
Lynn Morello 4 years ago
If this is causing an issue, talk about it, There is no shame that this happened, Children don't have the control over those things.
#48
I had a total mental breakdown in 2017 caused by stress. Never told anyone, it's the worst my mental health has ever been and I'm afraid of getting like that again and not getting help
#49
That I've been planning my goodbyes for quite some time now. We've been in and out of this relationship many times across 5 years. I guess we really can't turn back from some mistakes.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
There has to come an end to planning and a start to leaving when it's clear that things are not working and that it will never work right for you. No use wasting your time on illusions and regrets over what could have been.
#50
I think I'm pulling 90% of the weight in our relationship. Granted, we're only coming up on one year together right now, but I always (and I mean ALWAYS) text them first, compliment them extensively, give them physical attention and affection, plan our dates, and drive and pay for everything. Plus I seem to get out-prioritized by a lot of stuff. So we always do what they want when they want. I simply need to work around their needs all the time. I'm accepting it because they're exceedingly beautiful inside and out and I don't think they're secure enough to do any of what I do themselves. I'm happy with them and don't want to be too judgemental about it, but wow it looks like a struggle on paper.
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Complaining about the relationship, but clinging onto it because their partner is "beautiful inside and out". Seems like 2 superficial persons accidentally got into a relationship without having a relationship.
Vulf Byte 4 years ago
That's not okay. Let some other beauty appreciate you for your efforts at least if you bring these concerns up and nothing changes and they have no interest in relationship therapy you deserve to have effort put into you too. My grandmother told me that if they care about you they will make time for you. It's good advice.
Supernatural 4 years ago
How many people are we talking about here? They called all be like that surely?? Have you tried monogamy?
Yettichild 4 years ago
Pretty sure OP used "they" to conceal the gender of their partner in order to stay anonymous.
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#51
I keep having creeping thoughts of myself with other people. I don’t like them, I don’t want those thoughts, but they happen regardless.
Rachael Smith 4 years ago
Hey, it's good that you've recognized these thoughts, that's really the first step to changing them. You can totally do it! Sometimes only a couple sessions with the right therapist can make such a huge difference!
#52
I haven’t told my partner that all my nice clothes and designer shoes are replicas from China
Robert Bailey 4 years ago
If that's a make or break in your partner's opinion of you. Rethink the relationship.
#53
Slept with my ex girlfriend’s sister before ex girlfriend and I got together
smugdruggler 4 years ago
I don't really see why that's a problem. What you did before you got together with her is nobody else's business. You did nothing wrong imo.
Maddie Star ⭐ 4 years ago
no biggy, before you were together and she your ex now anyways so why worry??
Donkey boi 4 years ago
I slept with my ex's twin, thinking it was my ex. Turns out they shared everything!
#54
That I’m buying more GME than she knows about
WilvanderHeijden 4 years ago
Garrison Mobile Equipment? Graduate Medical Education? Gimbal-Mounted Electronics? General Motors Europe?
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Ivana 4 years ago (edited)
I only kept one secrete from my husband, that I was a virgin when we met. I remember it was the second date or something and he was like, "I would never date a virgin, they cling to you and get delusional that you are the one." So I lied and told him I was sexually active. We had been together for 6 years when my dog died and he took me out to the woods to camp for a week so I wouldn't have to be home. That first night after I cried non-stop, I told him the truth. He thought it was really sweet.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Sounds like your husband was a real jerk about women/virgins. Hope he's changed.
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deathrose 4 years ago
I can never tell my husband that I hate his family. His brother is 42 and only dates 18-20 yr olds, one of which he creeped on since she was 16. He was 38 at the time. His uncle uses the Bible to justify his cheating and never takes care of his children. His mother almost had him set to jail on insurance fraud but she spun the whole thing as a mistake so he forgave her. His grandmother is a manipulative narcissist. She makes up these weird medical conditions to get attention, like being allergic antihistamines when she takes an antihistamine everyday. My husband told her that I was allergic to Benadryl (I'm not, I'm allergic to the pink dye) and she spun a story of antihistamines giving her necrosis. I've never discouraged him seeing them because he loves them but I hate being around them.
Susie Elle 4 years ago
In hindsight, I've been r***d by my first boyfriend. This still effects my attitude towards and comfort during s*x.
Shane S 4 years ago (edited)
When I invited my partner of 8 years over for a one night stand that lead to our relationship, I thought I was inviting over someone completely different. I got the names/numbers mixed up.
Steve Ramaekers 4 years ago
There’s a lot of need for professional help in these posts rather than likes on social media
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
I’ve kept a secret from my childhood. A local kid, a lot older than me and my siblings, sexually abused all of us. I didn’t know about them until well into adulthood and their experiences were way more serious than my own. He has since died and I find it very hard to hear people saying what a great guy he was. I recently heard one of his friends gushing about how great he was with her granddaughter and I cringe, but don’t say anything.
Ms.GB 4 years ago
If there are only a couple cokes or chocolates left I hide some under the vegetables in the veggie drawer, the guys never find them because they don't eat veggies unless I prepare them lol!
Ivana 4 years ago (edited)
I only kept one secrete from my husband, that I was a virgin when we met. I remember it was the second date or something and he was like, "I would never date a virgin, they cling to you and get delusional that you are the one." So I lied and told him I was sexually active. We had been together for 6 years when my dog died and he took me out to the woods to camp for a week so I wouldn't have to be home. That first night after I cried non-stop, I told him the truth. He thought it was really sweet.
Jo Choto 4 years ago
Sounds like your husband was a real jerk about women/virgins. Hope he's changed.
Load More Replies... deathrose 4 years ago
I can never tell my husband that I hate his family. His brother is 42 and only dates 18-20 yr olds, one of which he creeped on since she was 16. He was 38 at the time. His uncle uses the Bible to justify his cheating and never takes care of his children. His mother almost had him set to jail on insurance fraud but she spun the whole thing as a mistake so he forgave her. His grandmother is a manipulative narcissist. She makes up these weird medical conditions to get attention, like being allergic antihistamines when she takes an antihistamine everyday. My husband told her that I was allergic to Benadryl (I'm not, I'm allergic to the pink dye) and she spun a story of antihistamines giving her necrosis. I've never discouraged him seeing them because he loves them but I hate being around them.
Susie Elle 4 years ago
In hindsight, I've been r***d by my first boyfriend. This still effects my attitude towards and comfort during s*x.
Shane S 4 years ago (edited)
When I invited my partner of 8 years over for a one night stand that lead to our relationship, I thought I was inviting over someone completely different. I got the names/numbers mixed up.
Steve Ramaekers 4 years ago
There’s a lot of need for professional help in these posts rather than likes on social media
Hannah Edwards 4 years ago
I’ve kept a secret from my childhood. A local kid, a lot older than me and my siblings, sexually abused all of us. I didn’t know about them until well into adulthood and their experiences were way more serious than my own. He has since died and I find it very hard to hear people saying what a great guy he was. I recently heard one of his friends gushing about how great he was with her granddaughter and I cringe, but don’t say anything.
Ms.GB 4 years ago
If there are only a couple cokes or chocolates left I hide some under the vegetables in the veggie drawer, the guys never find them because they don't eat veggies unless I prepare them lol!
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