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A recent survey of 2,000 U.S. adults split evenly by generation found that only 11% of Americans don't have regrets. Between not speaking up (40%), not visiting family or friends enough (36%), and not pursuing their dreams (35%), those bad decisions add up.
In fact, a third (32%) of Baby Boomers have a regret that spans three decades and still crosses their minds an average of three times per month.
So, in an attempt to see what kinds of choices weigh heaviest on people's minds, we gathered a list of honest, anonymous confessions from around the internet. Some are heartbreaking, some are funny in hindsight, and a few are the kind of stories that make you pause and reevaluate your own path.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Drinking/allowing my alcoholism get as out of hand as it did. 263 days sober, though! So thats something.
Joseph Moew 7 months ago
Just for today.......and being a fellow of similar background I can even say sometimes, "Just do it for 5 more minutes". Whatever it takes! Congrats.
Hassel Davidhoff 7 months ago
I also regret the years I wasted drinking. 383 days sober now though.
Tamra 7 months ago
Very, very well done. That's something to be proud of.
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Brody Garrard 7 months ago
It’s a big something! Stuff is hard, and everyone of those days is a struggle. Keep going!
DC 7 months ago
Keep at it! Alcohol sucks anyway ... never addicted to that garbage, but decided to never aim for being drunk again in 2005, after figuring out that most drügs I might enjoy, I won't do at all because the pro and con make it appear dumb - why on earth would I, then, continue with something I don't even enjoy the slightest? So ... not only not aiming at being drunk, but stopped it altogether in any relevant amount. Rum in Pudding is ok, Rum in a drink ... nah, why?
RELATED:
#2
Lighting up that first cigarette.
But there is a happy ending, I haven't had one in 5 weeks!
sbj 7 months ago
I used to smoke years ago and I still can't understand why I started in the first place
keyboardtek 7 months ago
When I was 14 and I went with the two jerks in the neighborhood down to the park they pulled out cigarettes they stole from their parents. After one puff and coughing my throat to pain, I stopped and never smoked again. What is the appeal?
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Queen Boudicca 7 months ago
It wasn't the first...or even the 10th...but ohhhh, that 11th one. Smoked 35 years. Been free a15 years.
B 7 months ago (edited)
Dumbest thing to do in life is to start a habit that you know is a/ expensive, and b/ potentially fatal. Smoking is actually a form of tort.ure, if you think about it: subjecting others to your stink and carcinogenic fumes without their consent, especially back when people smoked in restaurants, buses, planes, etc. Ugh. Just nasty.
Uncle Panda 7 months ago
It's been 40+ years and it still smells good to me. Cigarette smoke reminds me of my youth, my wild friends, and Grandma.
Jane Hower 6 months ago
I was asked once if I smoked after s*x - I said, I don't know - I've never looked hehehe
#3
When I was in middle school I didn’t walk my dog. She’d get walks from my parents in the mornings, and on the weekends...but every afternoon I got home from school first and I was supposed to take her. She loved walks. She’d scratch at the door and I’d pet her and tell her I’d take her soon, but I was lazy and selfish and always ended up sitting on the couch watching TV. Mom would come home and I’d lie and say I’d walked her hours ago, like I was supposed to. I’d feel a little bad but the next day I’d forget and it’d be the same.
I got my act together by sophomore year. Then college came, and I missed her so much I spent as much time with her as I could when I was home. We walked to the park and the beach and we’d run and play.
After college, when she got sick and started to lose her vision, I moved home for the summer to give her special eye drops four times a day. Her infection got better but her sight got worse. I had to help her see where the porch steps were, and later lifted her down them when it was just too hard. I tied a bell to her collar and slept on the couch next to her bed so I could hear when she got up at night and take her outside.
And every day, I walked her. We walked together every morning, twice in the afternoon, and again before dinner if it wasn’t too dark. I guided her around cars and through lawns. Sometimes she’d sniff the grass, tail wagging, and sometimes she’d walk so close to me she’d bump her nose into my shin on purpose, making sure I was still right there. When we got home I’d scoop her up and lift her over the stairs, kissing the top of her head and telling her what a good girl she was. And I’d think about all the times I let her down and tell her I was sorry. That I wished she understood me. That I was so sorry, that she was my darling and I loved her, and if I could go back in time to make the choices I should have I’d do it in a heartbeat.
The last time we walked together was on Labor Day. I’d come home again for the weekend, mostly to see her. My parents called the next Saturday to tell me.
I miss her. And I still wish I could’ve loved her as perfectly as she loved me.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
Was about to ask if anyone else was also crying. I miss my good boi.
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Crystalwitch60 7 months ago (edited)
Contrary to a lotta things .dogs do not need walking daily ,( unless your in a flat obviously! ) it’s mental stimulation they need to , both my kids 21-24 walk my two now as I can’t walk that far ,anymore I do go out in the field behind my house when the farmers cut the wheat , tho ,n on the two days a week they are working late (hospitality ) I play with them out in the garden , or give them toys to stimulate them , it’s some kinda bloody hot here in uk at min so obvs not doing much till late evening ,my blue staffie adores stones ok a rock a big one lol he made my son in law carry it home a few weeks back , he will play for hours in our back garden ,ok so it’s a very big garden, being out in the sticks , my rottie x corso no likely this heat , she’s blue black lol , is happy just chilling on my daughters bed, but as younger kids it was my job then ! please do not feel guilty , she had enough walks , and you loved her , then when she really really needed you ,you stepped up ! I had a blind staffie we lost when she was 15 , and it’s very challenging , but when it mattered you were there !! And she knew ❤️
#4
Not breaking off my last relationship sooner.
It was 2.5 years long. I was hit, scratched, guilt tripped. She made me believe my friends didn't like me, she would message them from my phone pretending to be me, and I lost my friends.
She blamed everything on me, ever her parents' divorce. She would self harm with scissors, attempted to o******e on paracetamol twice and blamed it on me. I would be at work and receive a text saying "I'm not feeling good, I'm going to cut myself or do something bad, you need to come and stop me". I'd freak out because I couldn't leave work, but didn't want her death to be my fault.
She'd drag me into the street at 3am to have an argument so all her neighbours could "hear what a terrible person I was".
I became depressed because I couldn't understand why I was such a bad person. I had panic attacks daily, I began losing weight, and so I took myself to therapy.
I sat down with her one night and broke up with her because I genuinely believed she deserved someone better than me. A few weeks later, I had a revelation of what had been happening. I deleted her number, changed my number, threw out everything of hers and my life instantly became colourful again.
Before this relationship, I would think "I don't get why people in a*****e relationships don't just leave", but now I get it. You don't know you're in an a*****e relationship until you're out of it.
EDIT: Also, she was playing with my cat once and he accidentally bit her, so she kicked him. She f*****g kicked my cat against the stairs.
StrangeOne 7 months ago
That is so true. You're so busy trying to make the other happy and be a better spouse you end up gaslighting yourself into believing you're the major problem. It's double when their parents gang up on you, too, and list all your faults.
Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 7 months ago
I've been there. Last GF used to get drunk on whiskey and beat the c**p out of me. I finally broke up with her and she stalked me for two years. That was 2018. Haven't really dated since.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
This is a very familiar story. The good news is that once you get out, things can be so, so much better.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
I had a husband like this ! 14 yrs it took me to wake up , do not t*****e yourself op , coercion, u never see coming ever , it’s pick pick pick , little things , and men are just as likely to suffer this , and much like us women in silence to ! please anyone as knows someone going thru this , say something ,quietly , do not yell at them to get out wake up etc , tell them , let them let it sink in ,so they can then look out really look n see for themselves , yes it might be slowly but please be there for them when they are ready to say enough , never had any of that likely why it took me so long , , and to the ones as dis em for it , like why you stay so long blah f kin blah get over yourselves !! This is not easy to run from trust me , but we do wake up eventually , op I’m proud off you for surviving this , not many of us actually do ! n I know my mental scars are as deep if not deeper than any physical ones ! Blessed be x
Seadog 7 months ago
24+ years for me. Mental abuse and like you said, nothing I did was right or good enough. Constantly accused me of cheating while she was the one cheating all along. After the divorce, people came out of the woodwork and asked me what took so long. I looked every one of them dead in the eye and asked why didn't they say something sooner? Why don't people get out? I'll tell you, because we can't see the the situation we're in from inside the box. A coworker, woman a few years older than me, got me to see outside the box (nothing sexual). A few years later and another job another coworker (10 years younger and a divorcee from an a*****e marriage) finished the job first coworker started and 2 years later I was free. That same coworker stepped up and also stopped me from becoming involved in what would have been a disastrous relationship. We're still friends although our paths seldom cross now.
tresgatos72 7 months ago
Anyone who hurt my cat would have been kicked to the curb immediately.
#5
Trying h****n.
Currently on another attempt at sobriety though. 40 days clean currently. If anyone in your life struggles with a*******n, I can't recommend a 12 step program enough.
Edit: I'm getting a lot of messages suggesting that I just smoke weed or take kratom instead. As an a****t, that just isn't possible for me. Any mind or mood altering substance will just lead me back to dope. That's just the program I work, and the program that's successfully helped many others maintain long term sobriety.
Auntriarch 7 months ago (edited)
My head always translates d***s as dïcks, I suppose it could be an addïction for some
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Upstaged75 7 months ago (edited)
You must be new here. There are lots of words censored. It has to do with the advertising. Complaining about it is pointless - they don't care.
Load More Replies... StrangeOne 7 months ago
That's actually a really s****y thing to suggest to an a****t, "just smoke weed". It's not just about the high, it's a type of intensity of high and body numbness that weed won't satisfy. It can lead to trying other d***s. My ex was like this, and that's how he described it. T3s weren't enough after awhile. Weed wasn't enough after awhile. It alters the mind to think you're getting somehow immune to the effects, he would tell me. He did some crazy mental gymnastics to come to conclusions that whatever was his fix for the day, whether it was too much weed or coke, it wasn't as bad as m**h or heroine.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago (edited)
What fool tells an a****t to try another drrug instead? Tossers. ETA - I got lucky because I didn't get stuck on mandrax and also tried crack once just to see what it was all about. My body just noped on that and all I got was a burnt ten pound note which was refused at a shop (rightly).
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
Agreed. I've seen so many people lose their lives to it. When I was younger I tried almost every drüg out there, but that was the one thing I'd never touch. Stories like this are so sad
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Luke Branwen 7 months ago (edited)
The fact that "I got fat" is above "I got addicted to hero!n" in this list only shows how the society sees fat people. At least dr@g add!cts are skinny, right? /s
Auntriarch 7 months ago
And of course beating drügs is hard, whereas fat people can just stop eating the lazy greedy bástards, right? Try telling a recovering alcoholic or drüg user, well you have to have three small drinks a day but you must never again get drunk.
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Sammy Lewis 7 months ago
40 days clean. Well done. I was in a similar situation, I found I needed to cut people out of my life. They said oh only a little bit on the weekend won't hurt.
Peeka_Mimi 7 months ago
Kratom and Marijuana aren't addictive. Though I'd recommend kratom when just coming off an opiate to lesson the pain.
#6
Not properly managing my money. It's easy to dig yourself a hole but man is it hard to climb out.
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
Absolutely. But again, so many of us are in this same boat. Many of us were never taught proper financial tools, and credit card companies took advantage of that to prey on us and make themselves rich off of people's misfortunes.
Beth H 7 months ago
I think public schools would really benefit from a semester on financial health
Manos 7 months ago
Yes. If only one student listened it would be worth it.
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Apatheist Account2 7 months ago
Always pay off your credit card, and don't spend more than you earn. Also don't do things like drink and substances to help you cope with having no money; stopping them will help your situation far more.
#7
I didn't speak up after what my grandfather did to me. I couldve protected my cousin from him but I was just a scared 12 year old.
*Edit: Thank you everyone for your kind words, It really means a lot to me.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
No one would blame a 12-yr-old for being too scared to speak up. F**k pedophiles.
Queen Boudicca 7 months ago (edited)
I know I was scared as a ten year old - and it wasn't even a family member. So please know it wasn't your fault.
Deta Rossiter 7 months ago
told my aunt about my half brothers actions, when she told me he was "incorrectly accused" of a similar offence, never heard from the WHOLE SIDE of the family ever agin
Seadog 7 months ago (edited)
Dated a girl whose father molested her when she was 3. Her older brothers walked with her to the corner to tell the cops. They wouldn't believe them and didn't investigate at all. I found about it all from her oldest brother a few years after we broke up. He got his just rewards though, he got shanked in prison 12 years later after getting busted on a murder for hire bust.
Shark Lady 7 months ago
Going through a similar thing myself, I recently discovered that I was the first person who he did unspeakable things to. If I had gone to the police I might have been able to prevent it happening to at least 5 different women.
LongFang 7 months ago
Going to the police is a really hard thing for a survivor to do, i'm sure. Big hug !
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SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
You were a child and he was in a position of authority. Of course you were scared. Nothing he did is your fault; it’s all on him.
#8
Getting upset with my father and slamming the door. This was the last moment I ever saw him alive before he passed away that night from a heart condition he had.
Edit: Thank you for all the kind words, this is really a learning factor for me.
Upstaged75 7 months ago
The last time I slammed a door in my father's face I was 16. He kicked it in. And I totally deserved it. 😄 (It was my bedroom door - one of those lightweight internal doors. He just broke the hinges so it swung inward) Lesson learned. I was an obnoxious teenager.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
I can see were you got it from !! when my kids now 21-24 tried the teenager stuff I just laughed till they had to laugh to works every time lol , but kicking a bloody door open is basically bad parenting !
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Rachel Reynolds 7 months ago
The last conversation I remember with my mom was arguing about me going to the mall. I was 15, she went into a medically induced coma the next day and died a week after.
Toxic 7 months ago
I have something kinda similar. I'd left my grandpa's room to get my phone and when I went to head back to his room to sit with him more before he passed, my aunt told me that he'd passed. I've never really forgiven myself for it
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
I'm sorry for your loss. Sometimes people wait for a loved one to leave, I think to make it easier.
Load More Replies... Ray Ceeya (RayCeeYa) 7 months ago
My dad had to go no contact with my grandfather toward the end. Grandpa had spent about two decades brainwashing himself with Fox News. The rest of the family couldn't really talk to him much more.
#9
Getting fat. Easily.
Uncle Panda 7 months ago
Eating a donut sandwich is a choice. Really bad decisions can be made by lots of small decisions, none of which are bad themselves.
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Seadog 7 months ago
I watch what I eat, have changed my diet considerably, work out and have a somewhat physical job. Makes no difference what I do or eat, the weight is there. It's air. Air is making me gain weight. I guarantee if I stop breathing I'll lose weight. Yes, the end is my little weight joke but the rest is straight up honest. Makes no difference what I do, even if I eat nothing I don't lose weight. When my weight fluctuates a couple pounds I can literally take a deep breath and in a few hours I'll be right back where I was.
B 7 months ago (edited)
Certain unfortunate people are large due to things they can't help, and they have my utmost sympathies. However, for the majority of obese people in 2025 this is not the case. It's not exactly rocket science, eating junk 24/7 and wondering why you're growing larger. It's a personal choice, obviously, but it's seriously unhealthy and the scope for a long, happy and healthy life are somewhat limited.
#10
I'll tell you a story about my nan. When conscription began in WWII, her husband was called up. He was getting ready to go to the train station, uniform and kit on, but she refused to say goodbye because she was angry with him and the situation. So he left. A few minutes later she realised her mistake and ran to the station after him. You can imagine how busy it was there, but she fought through the crowd. He was already on the train, looking out of the window for her. She saw him, but he never saw her.
That was the last time she saw him, he was tortured to death by the Japanese some time later. Even though she married again, to the man who became my grandfather, she kept a picture of him on her bedside table until she died.
EDIT: So in answer to your questions, I think they did manage to exchange at least one letter before he was captured, so I'm sure my nan apologised for putting him through that. I think he died working on the Burma Railway. They sent her a picture of his grave which she kept in her jewellery box. My grandpa was in a reserved occupation so was not called up, he had to work with bombed houses making them safe. He had to recover a lot of mangled bodies, including a lot of children which must have been horrible considering he was still a teenager. He was a great man, I wish I had an ounce of his moral fibre. Taught me to code on my C64 too.
Clown fish 7 months ago
They won't see your post unfortunately as it's from Reddit
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#11
Getting annoyed when my mom would call me a lot. She died when I was 22. Now I am lucky to get a call here and there from my dad...There isn't much that I wouldn't do to get one more phone call from her.
Beak Hookage 7 months ago
Thinking about regrets like this was the reason why I started calling my grandma once a week, right up until not long before she had to be hospitalised. She died a couple of months ago, but at least we had more of a relationship by then (she lived on the other side of the country).
Queen Boudicca 7 months ago
🫂 I was luckier than you, in that I was 55 before I lost my mom. My dad is still here, but I know that's coming soon. I don't think it gets any easier. So sorry for your loss.
Emilu 7 months ago
I have a dear friend who, unfortunately, tends to go nuclear if he feels he’s been wronged (big or small). He was NC with his mother for a long time as a teen and has been NC with his half sister and father for probably about five years or so now. I’ve only spoken to him about this once (I’ll probably get cut off lol, but moreso I’ve never understood the family dynamic so it’s not my business beyond a gentle suggestion once as a friend) to just not do anything you’ll regret if, say, you hear tomorrow they passed away. The only thing that made my father’s death slightly better was that I had no regrets with our relationship when he died.
#12
Throwaway because this is the biggest shame of my life.
When I was in high school, I was in a relationship with a guy that was a straight up sociopath. I was crazy co-dependent on him, because he was older and I was just excited that a guy was paying attention to me because I was young and insecure. He would emotionally abuse and physically r**e me on a regular basis, berate me in front of his friends, and sometimes share me with his friends.
We were at a house party one night, everyone was underage and everyone was drinking. I had gone to sleep in the spare bedroom in the basement. The basement also had a living room area and the walls were thin.
I heard my then-boyfriend and one of his friends and a girl that went to my highschool through the wall, and she was clearly too drunk and s****d to know what was going on. I listened to them r**e her, I listened to her crying, and I just laid there and was glad it wasn't me. I didn't try to stop it, I didn't tell anyone, and I never offered her help or support later on.
She k**led herself later that year. I don't know if I could have helped her if I intervened, but I think about it almost every day.
Edit: I kept dating him for almost a year afterwards.
Sally Moen 7 months ago
That's very sad that you blame yourself for another person's actions. Reread your first paragraph: you describe yourself as vulnerable. People in that position aren't going to run in to that room and somehow stop 2 men who are physically stronger. You were afraid. You may feel responsible. You weren't. Would you do something if it happened now? Of course, because you are wiser and strong and experienced in life, not vulnerable. Please take good care, we all need people like you in the world.
Queen Boudicca 7 months ago
You were also very young - things are much different when we have some life experience behind us. 🫂🫂🫂🫂
Load More Replies... Andie 7 months ago
TW! This is eerily similar to what happened to me. I was in a relationship like that. He would d**g me and let his friends "borrow" me. I tried to get out and he threatened my sister. That she would take my place and it would be worse for her. He followed her for a full day and told me what she had been doing to prove he could have taken her. I checked with her to see because I was praying it was a bluff and it wasn't. He told me everything she had done and who she was with and described her friends that he had never met. It ended, but those memories haunt me. Biggest regret was ever being in that "relationship". (Yes I'm in therapy, and I have a wonderful supportive husband who knows everything).
Seadog 7 months ago
I have a friend who was gang r***d by 4 guys she knew and couldn't tell anyone because of other things that was going on in her life at that time. She's okay and said they got what was coming to them in the long run. I think she said they all ended up in prison and at least 2 died there.
Emilu 7 months ago
It was their fault for being s*****g human beings. You can’t control the actions of other people. You would likely have put yourself in danger if you’d said something and been subject to further abuse. No decent person will blame a vulnerable young woman for not wanting to do that to herself. This incident was not your fault, just a tragic play out of circumstances. If you partook, that would be your fault. Wanting to help but being scared for your own safety? Not your fault.
#13
Not flying to see my grandfather on his deathbed.
It haunts me.
When I was told to call him they said that he couldn't speak anymore and to just say what I wanted and that he could understand for now.
I pulled some words out of my a*s and told him that I loved him and that as long as live I will honor him and keep his memory alive. He made some sounds. I heard my grandmother tell him not to try and speak. He forced himself to speak to me using what energy he had to tell me he loved me and was proud of me. That he did that for me when he wasn't supposed to made my heart break.
I will never forget how hard it was for him to say those words. The strangled tears in his throat as he tried with all his heart to say goodbye to me one last time.
I should have been there. I was too afraid. Too ashamed. I know that he would have wanted me there. I know that I was his favorite. I was the only one that followed in his footsteps even remotely. I feel like I failed him when he really needed me, after everything he did for me.
Ariom Dahl 7 months ago
You didn't fail him. Live a good life and remember he was proud of you and loved you.
Mreoww 7 months ago
I wish I had done at least that much. When I visited my grandpa on his bed in the ICU, I don’t know, I couldn’t really bring myself to say anything. I don’t even know if he could hear me, either, he was just lying there still, unmoving. But I do feel like I should have tried. Too late now.
Jonathan Setter 7 months ago
When i got married I moved interstate and did not get back to see my family very often. I spent a few months there in 2015 but that was it, i still have not been back in 10 years. During lockdown in Australia my Mum got sicker and sicker, and could not longer talk to me on the phone. And she would not let me try to get a travel exemption to visit her, because cov was too dangerous she said. And she died in 2021, i had not seen her in 6 years and she had not spoken to me for 6 months. There was no funeral at the time and i have not even been able to go down and check out her memorial.
Emilu 7 months ago
Before he died, I saw my pup (grandfather) in ICU. He’d had his entire head shaved due to his injuries and the treatments they were trying. I actually don’t remember what he looked like, though — I know because my parents told me but my brain obviously blocked the actual appearance out. I remember him waving at me but could still not tell you what he looked like, even now. When my nan died I recall clearly my mum asking if I wanted to see her and being like “hell no”. Like you, I want to remember people as they lived, not as they were dying/dead.
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Tiffany Sauter 7 months ago
Even with all that regret and tortured feelings, I wish I had a relationship with a grandparent that I now had all those negative feelings about because it would mean I had their love and I loved them.That regret is so much better than having nothing at all.
#14
Cheating on my ex girlfriend for stupid reasons. Don't know how some people can be repeat cheaters. F****d me up for a solid three years. DON'T CHEAT IT'S NEVER WORTH IT.
CP 7 months ago
Where are all the once a cheater always a cheater people? I despise that attitude. Acting as if humans are incapable of learning.
CP 7 months ago
Cheating isn't inherently stupid. If you are unhappy and unable to communicate with your partner through normal means, it is a tried and true way to end things. Yes, I do wish we lived in a perfect world where people knew how to communicate properly, but we don't.
Load More Replies... #15
Going to Bible College.
Initially I was going to go to University for Aerospace Engineering, but I wound up going to this tiny private bible college that charged 4x more, credits that wouldn't transfer, and an administration that kicks people out for having s*x because it's unholy.
That was a lovely waste of $50,000 and 4 years of my life.
Edit: Since this is getting more attention than I anticipated, I will take this opportunity to tell people to stay away from these types of religious colleges *regardless of your faith or beliefs.*
Leaving is a hugely traumatic and sudden process. It took me several years and being involuntarily committed for a week after multiple s*****e attempts to begin getting past it.
These places are dangerous in the social pressures they exert and the enormous amount of control they wield in robbing you of your entire support structure in family and friends in order to coerce you to stay.
I am being completely serious when I say barely survived the process. One of my closest friends didn't.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
And they say regular college brainwashes kids. No - they open you to new ideas and a variety of people. If that leads you on a path that's different from your church or parents, that's not brainwashing - that's education.
Queen Boudicca 7 months ago
But we don't wan't open minds...that allows *ideas* in.
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Stephen Sachs 7 months ago (edited)
Never was I the least bit tempted to buy into any form of religious fairy tales. I'm thankful that my parents never promoted anything religious while I was growing up.
Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
As a teacher of mostly seniors at a religious high school, I tried very hard to steer my students away from such colleges. Even when I failed, I helped some escape after they wanted out after the first year.
Cindy Brick 7 months ago
Funny -- going to Bible college (Cornerstone in Grand Rapids, MI, to be exact) was a galvanizing experience, and helped me really understand what I believed -- and why. I went on to the University of Michigan, and got my M.A. in English Lit. (And yes, the credits were honored.)
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
I guess I technically went to a bible college, a Catholic university in Australia. I never had any issues with it, even when I was doing theology and religious education units so I could get accredited to teach in catholic schools. I am Christian, but not Catholic, so I don't believe in lots of things Catholics do so you would think there would be issues/disagreements but there weren't The first thing I learnt in RE was that we would likely be teaching some students that weren't Catholic and we had to remember we weren't allowed to teach that Catholicism is the only way or pressure students to be Catholic or do anything they aren't comfortable with. Maybe the difference is I didn't live on campus, because there was no campus accommodation, so they couldn't control our behaviour outside of class, idk.
#16
When I finished college I had banked a good amount of cash from working my internship and had a sweet job offer right out of school.
A friend suggested that I take a month off between jobs and travel. Instead I gave my future employer a start date a few days after graduation.
I should have taken the time off and had some fun.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Travel can be nice, but having an emergency fund at hand can turn out to be nicer.
Coralinea 7 months ago
Yes, but for most that's the last time they really have the freedom to just travel for a month.
Load More Replies... SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
Yes! You’ll be trapped at work the rest of your life. You may never get a chance to travel again. Right out of school is the time to do it—before you have a serious career, a mortgage, kids, etc.
#17
Listening to my teachers, family, and peers when they said I was naturally terrible at math and should focus on the humanities in high school and college.
I've always been fascinated by biology and human behavior, and I devour books and articles about genetics, neuroscience, and computer science. But I have this phobia (or used to, I'm realizing that I'm not as clueless as I thought) of very basic math, and am terrible at simple equations.
I wish I had really gone for a fresh start in college, away from all the negativity and preconceived ideas about what I could or couldn't do.
Emilu 7 months ago
I had this as well. Went from acing maths in grade 6 to flunking it in year 7 (high school for Aussies). The teacher maintained that I was just bad at maths (paraphrasing) and as a result I near flunked out of it in year 11/12. F**k you, Patrick Bull.
winterwidow87 7 months ago (edited)
I've been told i was "just bad at math" all my life, only as an adult i discovered i am actually dyscalculic. It's a shame because i do love science, astronomy is one of my special interests (i'm also a late diagnosed autistic). Who knows how different my life could have been if i was diagnosed sooner and given the proper tools to learn.
Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
I enjoy the same kinds of things, and at one point wanted to be a vet. But I suck at math. When I was in my 30, my problem was diagnosed as dyscalculia. My brain literally sees numbers in the wrong order. I can memorize sequences of numbers, but I always have to double and triple check when I'm writing down a phone number, for example, for the first time.
Alexandra 7 months ago
Yes, too often we think that what people see us as is the real you. It's just their opinion though and it's not an unbiased one: sometimes family members have a vested interest in you seeing yourself as they want you to see yourself. We are, often, different persons to different people.
Captain Awesome 7 months ago
I was horrible in math in high school. Had to get tutoring just to squeak out a C. Something flipped during college and I was suddenly very good at math and aced my courses through Calc IV. This revelation changed my college trajectory where I majored in math theory and computer science. Things change, if you quit after struggling and falling you'll never know how close you could be to success.
Flavia Slag 7 months ago
Me too! We moved to a new town and the teacher didn't like me and another boy. Picked on us. (I was 8 or 9 years old) Then we moved again and I found out I wasn't stupid in math. I became a nurse. Some people should never be allowed to become teachers.
Andy Rover 7 months ago
Put in remedial math at high school due to bad reports from maths teacher at middle school (I accidentally beat him up thinking it was another student jumping me from behind). I have a degree in physics and have traveled the world as a geo- physicist
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Math teacher here. Some people are not so good at doing math in the abstract but terrific at it when applying it to a situation.
#18
Not making a better effort to make and keep friends. Through a mix of depression and social anxiety, I ended up cutting some really great friends out of my life. For some reason I had convinced myself they didn't like me anymore and would only talk and hang out with me because they felt sorry for me. So I stopped sending them messages and declined invites to hang out making up stupid excuses. Eventually they all stopped trying. Looking back at it I realize I was being ridiculous and letting the anxiety win. Yet this has caused me to now be afraid of making friends... Even though I desperately want to make friends.
Debby Keir 7 months ago
I've had periods in my life like that, but you can still contact them. If they're true friends they'll just pick up where you left off.
Jonathan Setter 7 months ago
describing my life.... d**n sure you are on the spectrum my friend...
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
My regret too. Even the ones I am still friends with, I've not seen for a long time. Didn't help I moved 1.5 hrs away from the area I grew up, but I could have made more effort with messages etc.
Jude Corrigan 7 months ago
For a while I thought that I had done this too. For some friends it was an accurate description. But for others, it was easier to avoid certain friends than have to listen to my partner question why I had friends and why I wanted to spend time with them. During arguments he even claims that any friend I have had has told him that they hate me.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
Sounds like the partner is the problem here.
Load More Replies... #19
Having kids. I'm not cut out to be a mom, which I knew from the get go. Birth control failed and here I am. I do my absolute best by them every single day. This parenting stuff is tough. I love them fiercely, but I miss having freedom and money and space. I feel like an a*****e for saying this.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
You might not enjoy the young years, but it's possible having older kids will be much better. Hope that's the case for this person!
Paulina 6 months ago
...or we could just take OP on their word and not try to sugarcoat motherhood 🤷♀️ We really need to stop doing that "it'll get better/you love them so it's not that bad/you'll be grateful in the future/etc." bullshït when talking about parenthood! People have every right to feel and say "I hate being a mother", without someone trying to turn it around into a positive somehow. There's NOTHING wrong in not wanting & not liking parenthood.
Load More Replies... Sven Horlemann 7 months ago
Nothing wrong with being honest. Makes you trying to do the right thing more remarkable.
Beef Brisket 7 months ago
You'll have freedom, money and space once again, and sooner than you think. Kids grow up incredibly fast. By the time they start school, they're already pulling away from you. They hit ten and they want to be with their friends as much as you, and then by high school, they're busy as hell and then poof, they're gone and you're an empty nester with decades left in your life. Sing Cats in the Cradle and enjoy these fleeting years. They'll be over faster than you know.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
From speaking to friends, kids are hard work until about 3 and then great fun (mostly) until about 12...
Paulina 6 months ago
Even if it was true, it really doesn't help a person who never wanted children in the first place. It's not about being overworked.
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#20
I really, really regret being a stay at home mom. I have a master's degree in food chemistry but after having kids decided to stay at home. My husband's career escalated and he got offered positions overseas. In the last twenty years, we have lived in many countries and I have traveled world wide. My kids can speak a handful of languages and are in university now. Despite all these seemingly great things, I haven't ever done anything personally for myself and I really regret it. In my late forties, I feel like life has passed me by and I really, really regret not keeping a career.
Thee8thsense 7 months ago
Life's not over, and late 40s are only as old as you allow yourself to feel. I say find a passion and go for it in your latest chapter of life.
AsylumWalker 7 months ago
Its very difficult to get a job at that age with a large career gap
Load More Replies... Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
I was able to keep my life feeling meaningful beyond being a SAHM by doing a lot of volunteer work. There are still ways to be fulfilled!
ILoveMySon 7 months ago
Same. And I LOVED being a SAHM. But, I always wanted that.
Load More Replies... Alexandra 7 months ago
Late forties? Still time to give a second start a go, you know. Average age for women to die is somewhere early in their 80's, so get to it and just start doing the things you love or you always wanted to do. The time is NOW.
Crystalwitch60 7 months ago
I had a 3 mth old son at 40 lol had my first at 35 I’m now 60 housebound n disabled (long story short) but yup life really does begin at 40 x
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geraldrboyle@aol.com 7 months ago
You can still change direction. I went back to university age 42. My best friend went back to uni. age 65. We both graduated with honours. Go for it.
Deta Rossiter 7 months ago
i am 40 next year, and studied towards a career change, nothing stopping you from starting a new career either
Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
40s seems so young to me. At any age you can follow a passion. Go for it!
StrangeOne 7 months ago
It's those things in life where you pondering what could have been and have this ideal image where you would be. But just think if she did keep up with her career, would she and her husband support each other and compromise? Or would they be fighting and end up getting divorced because her career was taking her in other direction than his? The grass always seems greener, but it may not be the case.
Chrissie Anit 7 months ago
Oh, so they would get a divorce because she worked as well? That sounds rather misogynistic, like "it is better for women to be a SAHM, otherwise the man wouldn't like it .
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Cydney Golden 7 months ago
It's never too late. I was a SAHM for 12 years even though I already had a masters degree. Then I went back to work. Just retired a few years ago.
Barbara Potter Pinto 7 months ago
I returned to college at 44, when three of my four kids were either about to graduate from college or had already done so, and my youngest was in high school. It was one of the best decisions I've ever made!
#21
I don't need to think hard about this one at all. My biggest mistake is thinking a lump in my breast was just "nothing" and would go away on its own. Took me months before I went to the doctor and by that time it was too late. The resulting mental breakdown destroyed the people closest to me and I just can't forgive myself for it.
I'm still alive only by the grace of modern cancer treatment progression. I was supposed to be dead a few years ago, but I'm still kicking a*s, in remission, and starting to rebuild my life. It's been a journey I wouldn't wish on my worst enemies.
ILoveMySon 7 months ago
Same. But mine metasticized so limited treatment and no remission. Get checked, Pandas. Men too.
#22
I had a friend reach out to me to hang out and buy some pot, back in 2015. I was pretty f****d up, so I ignored that text and figured I'd chill with him the next day.
He hung himself that night. I'm not self-centered enough to think that I could have been a deciding factor, but d**n, I think about it a lot. What if I had just said okay and gone over that night? Maybe he'd still be alive.
StrangeOne 7 months ago
Tbh, his buddy may have had his s*****e planned for a while and would have done it that night, after he left. He probably had a night of some lowkey fun one last time with a good friend. But it's not Op's fault and nothing he could have done, really.
Barbara Deskins 7 months ago
imo...he just wanted to say good-bye to special friends. My daughter had a visit from a HS friend and he hung himself the next day. Another friend from her Army days called her out of the blue, just to talk. Offed himself the next day She couldn't have done anything because they didn't let on about their plans
Load More Replies... Paulina 6 months ago
The "what ifs" around someone's passing are one of the worst pains ever... And in my experience, never really go away. I have two of those situations in my life, and even though I worked through them in therapy, they still come back sometimes. And I then wonder if I could've done something. That's the hardest part of death, in my opinion - it leaves absolutely no answers to a life full of questions.
#23
Quitting college to take a management promotion at my fast food job.
StrangeOne 7 months ago
Every job I've had has had that one older lady who's never ranked up. Every time they've been asked why they have all stated "because I'm not stupid." LOL You would get paid maybe a dollar or 2 more an hourly wage that your colleagues but with crushing responsibility and stress. Now everything is your problem.
Seadog 7 months ago
Worked for O'Reilly Auto. One of my drivers was a single mother, that's why she applied for driver, and she made it known she could not work nights for that reason. She was a fast learner and would've done well in management. She expressed interest in management as long as nights were kept to certain nights when her daughter wasn't home. Manager offers her a position one day, closing manager. She of course had to say NO and again stated why. Manager told her O'Reilly gives one chance and one only, if she declines the odder, there will never be another. I was the first of our crew to quit (returned to a previous job, more money, less stress). Within 2 years our entire crew was gone, including that manager. They actually went for about 2 years grossly understaffed because they couldn't get applicants and couldn't keep what they had. It's sad because O'Reilly's is a great company to work for.
Load More Replies... #24
Dropping out of college, because I didn’t know what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
Upstaged75 7 months ago
I went to college AND grad school, and have been working for the last 25+ years. I still have no idea what I want to do. 😆
Queen Boudicca 7 months ago
Robin Williams summed this up perfectly. He once said that the reason adults ask little kids what they want to be when they grow up is that the adults are looking for ideas....
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Wintermute 7 months ago
Funny, that's the exact reason I WENT to college. Didn't work, still don't know.
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
That's not a bad thing, in my opinion. Spending so much on a degree that you don't love and won't get you a job because it's too general is silly. Getting life experience while earning money, until you know what you want to do would be better.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
School is 100,000 times better than work. Stay in school as long as you can.
#25
Ignoring depression for a couple decades and convincing myself that it wasn't chemical, but that my life just sucked.
Orwell 7 months ago (edited)
I was 40 when I ran out of excuses and rationalizations for my misery. People are recognizing the symptoms much earlier now that the stigma is fading. Research is continuing to evolve, not only for d**g treatments, but for intervention and management strategies and life-changing habits and practices. It's tough to be a GenX, but it was way beyond what we can imagine for the generations before us. You figured it out and did something to help yourself. That's all anyone can reasonably do, and more than many are capable of. Don't slight yourself!
#26
Serving a mission for the Mormon church.
Was two years long, and my personality/social skills are pretty bad making it a terrible two years where I didn't help whatsoever. I did it right after high school, so every girl I liked was married with kids by the time I got back (and I mean every girl), and a lot of my friends were now two years ahead of me in college. Its an awkward gap in my employment record that I've had to explain in job interviews (had a job in high school). I didn't even stay in the Mormon church as of a couple years afterwords. So now I have these frustrating memories of trying to help that church grow. Even when I do have a story from the mission that I want to share, I always disguise the setting. I can hardly stand scrolling through my Facebook news feed, since half my friends are either missionaries I knew or Mormons from back in the day. I never did go to college because I felt too old. Oh and I suffer from anxiety and depression. It was the worst two years, and it won't go away.
Sally Moen 7 months ago
You have much in common with alot of other people. One group is adults who grew up in an a4us1ve home and now have the difficulty explaining why their work history is spotty, having to deflect questions about their childhood. It is nor too late to make connections with others, start to share with people as you start to trust people, and create a new life. Also, it's not too late to attend college or trade school or whatever schooling you've missed. You're more focused now so your chances of finishing a degree or certification or license is much better than when you were just out of high school. Give yourself a break, you've made it so far. Best wishes on your future
Joanne Hudson 7 months ago
"Old people" are allowed to go to college. And there are different kinds of college. Two year, on line, community.
Joe Methuen 7 months ago
Continuing Education can be a solution. Go to college nights to earn a degree. It can take a lot longer, but it can be done.
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
I have some regrets abuot my first job out of uni because I moved 5 hours away, where I knew no one and then had a huge fibromyalgia flare up and social anxiety, so I didn't really get close with anyone other than my housemate. I was so exhausted by the hours (teachers don't stop working just because the kids go home) and it was unsustainable. The anxiety and exhaustion played into issues with behaviour management in the classroom and after 6 months the principal said she was disappointed I didn't have better control and asked if I was homesick and felt I should leave. Even though my health was a big part of the problem, I feel like I failed, because I had told myself I could get through 12 months full time and then go to part time if needed. I went home in a terrible state and couldn't work again for about 18 months. By then, most of my friends had permanent teaching positions, after doing casual work for a year. I never got back to what I consider 'proper adulting/work'.
#27
Law School. I'll be paying back the loans for 20+ years. I don't even want to be a lawyer anymore but I can't afford not to be.
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
Ouch. But, a law degree can translate into different careers beyond just being a lawyer. But either way, that's an expensive mistake to realize too late.
Seadog 7 months ago
I'll guarantee you if he works anywhere that an issue comes up where he has the knowledge concerning the issue, they will not listen to him and will in fact go with someone's opinion that is 100% wrong. I've seen it many times.
Load More Replies... Cydney Golden 7 months ago
There are so many different kinds of law to practice...look around.
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
This seems to be common for people who get top marks at high school. They have the marks to get into law or medicine, so they (and often their parents) think they have to do one of them. They then find they don't actually want to be a lawyer or doctor. If they are lucky they realise early into their degree and switch to something they do want to do or drop out so they don't have the full costs to pay back.
#28
Everything so far. I’m so unhappy with who I am and where I am. And I feel as though it may be too late to turn it around.
Sven Horlemann 7 months ago
I'd say - start with small changes. Or a big one. Whatever is more feasible.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
The problem may not be who the OP is, but how they evaluate themselves.
Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
Never too late. Your age doesn't matter, it's your desire to change yourself.
#29
Not marrying the love of my life. I'm only 26 but I had been with her for the better part of 7 years. I purposed after the first year because I knew she was the only girl for me. I even asked her father for permission. I got cold feet and we didn't get married.. one thing happened after another and now I find myself 3000 miles away from her and single. I miss her everyday. I should've married that girl
#30
Waiting so long before seeking help for my mental health issues. I silently struggled for well over a decade before deciding that enough was enough.
#31
Developing an eating disorder. I'm 19 and half of my life has been in hospitals, avoiding food, and hating my body. The other half is holding it all together, or trying to.
Ariom Dahl 7 months ago (edited)
I have no psych training, so feel free to ignore me. I look in the mirror and say to myself 'This is ME. I like ME, regardless of my shape. And I need to look after me.' Care for yourself. I wish you the best. (PS I'm in my late 70s. I bulge and wobble, but that's ME.)
#32
I went on a second date with a guy I didn't like because my on again off again highschool boyfriend blew me off to hang out with another girl. I wanted to make him jealous.
Instead I ended up spending two years being beaten and r***d and I dropped out of college. I had hopes and dreams and I destroyed all of them when I fell for the guy's "nice guy" act.
#33
Basing decisions about my life on what other people think.
Always make sure you are making decisions based on what YOU want in life, it may be hard but it is so worth it. not only can it save you time in terms of years wasted doing something you don't like, but also money and most importantly, your **own emotional health and well being.** Constantly worrying about what other people think of you is not only distracting for you're career and personal development, but it can be discouraging and damaging.
Know what you want in life, and make decisions to help yourself get you there.
Have a great day!
Surgichick 7 months ago
It's so hard when it's your father making judgments on your actions/people you're with etc.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
Easier said than done, sadly. I wish I had understood this decades ago.
#34
I'm pretty sure I'm making it right now by wasting my life away, but I can't think of anything better to do, so here we are.
StrangeOne 7 months ago
It's an epidemic of boredom and being consumed by unproductive activity any spare time we have. But here I am... here... on BP.... f**k it. I work hard all day, I deserve to relax and do what I want on my own time.
Wintermute 7 months ago
True, but keep in mind, you deserve to relax and whatever whenever you want. It's all your own time. You don't have to work hard to earn it back. You sell your time for money and reward, but it's still yours. No one gets to tell you what you've earned or not beyond that simple contract.
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Billo66 7 months ago
Depends on what you mean by wasting. If you enjoy just chillin, it's not wasted. I'm 60. I wasted my whole life on substance abuse and drinking. I could have been so much more. All of the partying was quite fun though. So did I waste it? I didn't get out of life what I had hoped so maybe I did.
The Majestic Opossum 7 months ago
I think this feeling is largely a product of our environment/society. The world is total shít right now for many of us, so we're going to search out any bit of dopamine we can, usually with escapism like TV, social media, c**p food etc. We know there's a better way, but that first step is really really hard, especially when you're feeling depressed.
Mike F 7 months ago
TBF, the hard reset the world experienced during COVID shook the moorings of (possibly) all of humanity. For a great many people their paths were cut and dried, but when the world shut down and lots of folks found themselves facing an entirely new reality, they came away with a WTF is it all about kind of view. The introspection would bea natural progression after that. Folks my age were fortunate to be able to just toss it in and retire, those significantly younger were not that lucky. I just hope the best for them.
Michael Largey 7 months ago (edited)
The fact that the OP is cognizant enough to be evaluating his life shows that it is not being completely wasted. It is an unexamined life that is not worth living, according to Socrates.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
Just by not actively being a bad person, you're already not a waste of oxygen
SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
You do not have to be productive every minute of the day. That’s a lie made up by business people and puritans, because they can’t stand to see people relaxing and enjoying life.
#35
Trying to join the military. I shipped off to boot camp completely unprepared and they chewed me alive for 12 weeks straight. I was held back in training twice, covered in bruises from the training, and pulled every muscle in both legs and my left shoulder. One recruit looked at my bruises and told me I looked like a battered child. I was in constant pain and they didn't care. I became so sick I had mucus coming out of my eye and I practically drowned every night on my own phlegm. They didn't care. They told me I was in pain because I wasn't drinking enough water then they got mad that I had to pee all the time. I was punished when I did things wrong and punished when I did things right and after a while I developed anxiety. I was terrified of anyone who held rank higher than E-2 and started having panic attacks. Even then they didn't care until I gave my squadmates a preemptive apology. I wasn't s******l and I don't think I would've hurt anyone, but I was losing my grip on reality and I was terrified that I would lose control.
R.C. 7 months ago
12 years in. Everyone thinks they're ready for boot camp until they're at boot camp. Thinking you know something is going to be hard and experiencing it are completely different things. I had severe bronchitis almost the entire time I was there. Was on 2 different inhalers and some kind of med (can't remember now) but you're right, you get no special treatment for anything. I didn't get better until after grad and I was able to get a few good nights of solid sleep. I went through it and looking back I still don't know how I managed it lol.
Peeka_Mimi 7 months ago
Speaking from experience boot camp is a bear. It's harder than hell and they don't warn you. I am sorry you went through that.
Seadog 7 months ago
My son loved Basic. Said he could spend his entire career there. His problems in the Army began at AIT and shortly after graduating there was in a wreck where he had to be airlifted and had to learn to walk again. This is where the military flipped on all of us. His commander told us he was not to return until he could PT. The next one said he had to report no matter what and even tried bossing me and his mother around. I put him in his place real quick. "We're not in the Army and you have no authority over us." My son was non-deployable and always would be due to the injuries sustained in the wreck. All his Captain had to do was fill out some paperwork and he'd be medically discharged. Instead he want to berate us all trying to force my son to undergo surgeries to make him deployable again. Like that was even possible. I finally had enough and took the fight way over his Captain head. Medically discharged due to injuries sustained in the wreck.
#36
I'll honestly never know if it was a mistake, but I flipped a coin to decide whether to go to college or leave home and hike the Appalachian Trail.
Heads I went to college and spent the next four (ended up being five) years working on a degree. Tails I grabbed my already-packed gear and went on an adventure.
It landed on heads.
College led to job which led to responsibilities. I still camp on the Trail, but my hopes of doing a through-hike are mostly behind me. I'm not as young and spry as I used to be and those responsibilities require a constant paycheck.
I recognize anything could have happened if it landed on tails. I could have wimped out half-way through or less, then gone right back home to do the college thing. I could have finished, been proud of myself and then gotten a job. I could have also had a life-changing adventure. Or I could have been eaten by a bear.
I'll never know, but I do wonder.
Upstaged75 7 months ago
A friend of mine did this after he graduated from college. Hiked the entire trail. I think it took around 6 months. He looked like a Yeti when he came back. 😄
tracy black 7 months ago
a friend of mine has thru kiked it 3 times and when hes not hiking the trail hes volunteering work on it keeping the trails clear fixing shelters etc. he is retired , unmarried, and no pets and has everything on auto pay i dont see the attraction of it all but hey it makes him happy
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murmelinpaiva 7 months ago
You could have taken a gap year. Older people do better at college. They are more likely to know what they want to get out of it, and they work harder at it because they are paying for it themselves.
Wintermute 7 months ago
Similar experience, but without the coin. After high school I was playing video games one morning and my dad walked out and said, go to school or get a job. He meant business, so I chose arbitrarily. Later that day I was in my first college class (part time enrollment is quick). Probably the biggest mistake of my life. Still paying back loans on 6 years of school I wasn't ready for to get a degree I don't use. I could blame my dad, but he'd given me the whole summer to prepare, but I didn't, and wasn't ready for the ultimatum. Let that be a lesson kiddos, do the work and plan ahead!
Tiffany Sauter 7 months ago
People get m******d on the trail. Who knows- it may have been the best decision you ever made. (I've got to stop watching all the murder videos Youtube recommends to me,)
#37
Not going out and dating and doing sports while in my 20s.
I was reading books instead. It was still awesome. But now I am a bit pudgy and socially awkward and alone.
I am still not going out and still not doing sports. I do date. Now and then. Reading is still awesome. I just need to eat less chocolate.
Sally Moen 7 months ago
Knowing books is not as flashy as having sports knowledge, but it personally makes me happy. I'm glad you like yourself now
Ariom Dahl 7 months ago
Reading is awesome. Can you join a book club? Maybe a library will be able to point you to one. Sharing opinions about what you've read with others may help you feel less socially awkward and alone.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Reading and fitness need not conflict. I and many other people listen to recorded books while working out at the gym.
Huddo's sister 6 months ago
I was very happy not dating and reading instead and I still am :) would have been beneficial to start aqua aerobics earlier though.
Seadog 7 months ago
sounds good to me. I tried a few dating site after my divorce. Once I ruled out the smokers and those that were really into physical things like =hiking, canoeing, clubbing, etc. There wasn't much left and 99% of the ones I messaged, never even replied. I'd rather someone say NO, than nothing at all.
SchadenFreudian Psychology 7 months ago
Would you really enjoy doing sports and dating, though? Don’t do things that are not mandatory unless they really make you happy. It sounds to me like reading is what really makes you happy, and you wish you were a different person (somebody who likes playing sports.) Let yourself have the things you really love. You don’t have to be somebody other than who you are.
#38
When my ex told me, "I'm not good for you and I'm going to ruin your life", I should have believed him.
#39
Wasting so much time on video games and other forms of media and entertainment.
Joe Bloe 7 months ago
It depend if it take time from your obligations and objectives. Video game is just an activity, if you put aside everything else in your life for any activities, like fishing or playing golf, it would have the same effect. Doing an activity too often could prevent you from doing others activities.
#40
In the mid 2000s I used to work a call centre job while finishing up uni. It was a startup fintech type job. People got promoted quickly and they paid above minimum wage. But I was naive and didn't realize how backstabby some people could be to get ahead.
I carpooled with who I thought was a friend until he started secretly recording our conversations in the car to curry favor with my managers. Thinking I was safe I was honest about my feelings about certain things at work and sure enough he played the recordings to my bosses and soon after I noticed a change In how I was being treated.
They let me go with severance when I caught on to the fact that I was being asked to train my replacement.
This led to about 10 months of unemployment with employment insurance and me finding a much better paying job. It was a blow but I learned from it and I'm glad I'm not stuck in what is ultimately a dead end call centre job, no matter how they spin job titles.
Sven Horlemann 7 months ago
A boss accepting to listen in to recordings, and supporting this kind of behaviour... gee. What despicable people.
#41
In all seriousness investing in bitcoin. I had a buddy who quit a 100k year job right out of college to go make equipment to mine bitcoin, This was around 2012. He told me so many times to invest and i just never pulled the trigger.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
A friend of mine can't remember where she stored her bitcoins... she would be worth millions now.
StrangeOne 7 months ago
Doesn't 1 bitcoin cost a grand? It just always seemed like a wealthy person investment.
Caffeinated Ape 7 months ago
Currently over $100k. If this person had invested $1k in 2012, when it was worth somewhere between about $5 and $10, they could have made millions. It's wild.
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#42
Easy, not living in the freshman dorms. Missed out on a big part of early college experience with that one.
#43
Probably not getting a sleep study done back in jr high/high school.
Found out last fall at the age of 23 that I have narcolepsy - I’ll never get restful sleep in my life.
Really makes me reflect on my years in jr high when I remember being so freaking exhausted all the way until last year - after I paused my college education to focus on health.
TLDR: have narcolepsy. It’s equivalent to someone with healthy sleeping staying up for 48 hours straight and then starting their day.
KatSaidWhat 7 months ago
I have sleep maintenance disorder and annoyingly the only way to get a full night is to pass out. I've broken that habit but am not sleeping much until my body finally goes "ok, have some sleep, but only 4/5 hours".
Beth H 7 months ago
I know this won’t work for everybody, but I have found that CBN edibles really help me fall asleep
Load More Replies... #44
Turning down an academic scholarship to a nice four-year school to go stay closer to my controlling, uber-religious then-girlfriend. So instead I went to a smaller school to which I hadn't even applied near her religious school, having no scholarship at all. Relationship ended about a year later.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
This happens a lot to the young and stupid. We were all young and stupid once. Don't beat yourself up about it.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
I was once young and stupid. The wrong part went away.
Load More Replies... #45
Chasing my (now ex) boyfriend across the country instead of finishing my first year of college. Just up and left in the middle of a semester and never went back. I think about it every single day and I don't think I'll ever stop. 18 year old me was very naive and stupid.
Auntriarch 7 months ago
If you don't do daft things at that age there's probably something wrong with you
#46
When I was saving to go to college, I was a painter.
One day on the job this woman at a house said her son was looking for someone exactly like me. Non grad, hard worker, nice.
She told me he was the CEO of x company, for reference, his latest contract involved a complete overhaul of the London Olympic stadium ready for the 2012 Olympics. Needless to say he's not a small fry.
This guy came out of his way to talk to me, when I say out of his way, he f*****g flew in from Germany. I didn't know that at the time, I also didn't know he was coming to see me. I just got told to go up to this office room and there he was behind this 12 foot mahogany desk.
Had a lovely chat with him and he offered to take me on. Take me on working directly under him, to be trained to take over in the coming years because he wanted to retire before 40 and he had no kids.
What the f**k did I say? "I'm sorry but x line of work has no interest to me, I really want to go down the animal care route". He respected that.
But years later, living on my own, just getting by juggling my paid work and undergrad I realised what a f*****g mistake that was.
#47
Chasing that girl throughout all highschool when I probably had loads of attention from others. My emotionnal maturity is still lacking but it's getting better! Also my life has been pretty short so far so not too much room for big mistakes
#48
I bought a condo with a high interest ARM loan right before the market crashed and the Great Recession kicked in. That one decision will have negative financial repercussions for me and my family the rest of my life.
#49
Not being more money savvy in my 20's. Am still paying off credit card debt in my 30's. Don't get me wrong, I had a great time when I was younger but I do regret it massively.
#50
Not coming out sooner.
#51
Wasting considerable money on short term love relationships
#52
Not keeping a journal.
Orwell 7 months ago
This should be higher - written, audio, or video. While it scares me to think what I might have recorded, it would be helpful to know what my truth was at many stages of life. Our memories are not accurate, nor are the memories of our families, friends, acquaintances. It's not a movie I want to see, but reflecting on my account and perspective would likely be grounding.
#53
Quitting a great job with huge advancements when I was 19 because a girl, the job took me out on the road for 2-3 weeks at a time and I didn't want to leave her for that long at the beginning of our relationship. F**k that was dumb. It took me 8 years to make that much money again, and that girl dumped me after 5 months of dating.
#54
Heading home after a nice motorcycle ride on a sunday evening. Decide on a whim to take a small 10 minute detour because it was one of the last days of the year with nice weather.
Crashed into the side of a van with 80 km/h that didn’t give me the right of way. Spent 12 days in intensive care, ended up with persistent health problems and a reconstructed shoulder which left me partially disabled and unable to do sports, lift anything serious, etc.
It was a nice ride though!
#55
Not texting my boyfriend later that Thursday after an argument. I was mad and didn’t want to speak to him. When I finally texted him on Saturday, he had already been dead for 24 hours.
I wish I had told him I loved him. Everyone says it’s not my fault, but I will never know if I had reached out earlier whether that might’ve been enough to stop him. I’m never ignoring someone I love because of a petty argument, ever again.
#56
Not noticing my own behavior. Thinking I've become a better person and the realization of my mistakes has changed my life.
#58
Getting Married. Don't regret my kids, but I regret my wife.
Kyra Noelle 7 months ago
I regret marrying my ex-husband. I could have stayed working for the State of Illinois and could have retired by now. Now I am not sure if I will ever be able to retire.
Brody Garrard 7 months ago
There is a very hard and easy way to take care of this. Divorce and win custody 🤷♂️
Johnnynatfan 7 months ago
Great idea! I'm sure they never thought of that! Good thing you came along with your brilliant idea!
Load More Replies... #59
My biggest mistake was to not believing in myself. Other people see us for how we behave and if we don't believe in ourselves why should other people?
#60
Not dropping certain courses because I felt like I could do well despite my marks. Really f***s your cgpa over.
Lady Eowyn 7 months ago
You'll find out in the future that GPA really doesn't matter anymore. I do regret not dropping certain courses, but over 40 years later, who cares? I did learn some stuff in those courses which I went back and studied on my own.
#61
Not getting to know the hot girl who allegedly had a crush on me
Bored Retsuko 7 months ago
Why isn't this higher, it's a valid regret. :-)(Especially if you're a lesbian with a tiny dating pool.)
#62
Being committed to a long distance relationship. It's been four months since we broke up and I've made little to no progress in trying to find some sort of peace within myself.
Sally Moen 7 months ago
It's amazing how long it took me to "get over my ex". It's almost like I was grieving the relationship. Give yourself a break. Best wishes on your future
#63
Accepting the position I work in now. Biggest mistake I have ever made, I am more miserable than I have ever been in my entire life. In fact, f**k 2019 as a whole, this years can kiss my a*s, I am done.
#64
When I was fresh out of school with a useless degree in creative writing and no experience, in the middle of the recession, I interviewed to be a Marketing Coordinator for a local fishing resort/marina that was also headquarters for a few dozen vacation resorts along the west coast. Pay was great, job perks included free travel and food/accomodation at any of these resorts and a fairly freeform job in creating print and web ads, blog material, doing some market research and interviews. It sounded super fun. I aced the interviews and felt like a shoe-in based on how they were talking to me. I prepared for my life of luxury.
They asked me to just throw together a quick ad concept. I was staying at my girlfriend's house when the request came in and she didn't have Adobe CS, so I threw something together quickly in Paint, yes Paint, kind of assuming it didn't really matter since it was just a concept. It was terrible. They went silent, I didn't get the job, and I faced a difficult few years of racking up credit card debt, digging up freelance work, and mass-applying to jobs that never contacted me back.
I'm doing okay now, but I always wonder what things would be like if that had worked out.
#65
Telling how I felt to my best friend...she didn't feel the same way and from there it went badly mainly because of how I handled the situation... Lost one of the most important people in my life that day.
Sally Moen 7 months ago
But you tried. Do you regret being honest or regret that they didn't want that relationship? You did nothing wrong. It sucks but it will ease up. Take some time.
Fellfromthemoon 7 months ago
"mainly because of how I handled the situation" suggests OP did something wrong.
Load More Replies... #66
A friend of mines owned a small business. His wife wanted a job so he made her the bookkeeper. He went on a business trip and when he came back, gave her a whole bunch of receipts to record as expenses. There was one receipt from the business she could not decifer so she looked it up on the internet... it was a brothel.
Michael Largey 7 months ago
Well, the title says this thread is about "Big Mistakes". I think this qualifies. I'm sure the friend of the OP thinks so too.
Load More Replies... #67
Getting out of the military instead of sticking it out, I would be in a much better spot now if I had stayed in.
Tonyah Mcanelly 7 months ago
My husband says the same he really enjoyed military life and wishes he could go back
#68
Majoring in mechanical engineering. Should have just done computer science in the first place.
Mel in Georgia 7 months ago
Do not go into computer science now. There are no entry jobs. They're taken over by AI or people who have been laid off with a lot of experience.
What do you think ?
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Choosing my boyfriend over my cat when he told me "It's me or the cat". I boarded her for two months (to hide her from him; I couldn't bear to get rid of her entirely) and it changed her personality entirely. She still isn't the same snuggly purr bundle she was before that. It took me another 7 years, but I finally chose the cat over the bf and now he's an ex XD But I regret those 24 years of emotional prison. I'm 43 now and I don't think I really want to dare dating ever again.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
BTW, this is the aforementioned cat XD 9 years old and still my little lady! kohl_kohl_...70a772.jpg 
Little Bit 7 months ago
I screwed my life up when I was 16. I'd never been kissed by a Bog and I was desperate to be liked and to be wanted that I literally threw myself at the first person who took an interest in me. He turned out to be a narcissistic a****r and I wasted the best years of my life staying with him because I was too frightened to leave him.
Wintermute 7 months ago
I don't know if I should feel better or worse for how many of these I can relate to.
Wyrdwoman 7 months ago
There are always points in your life where you think 'I should have done this/that/the other', but there is no point in regretting your choices. If I had gone to college in a different town I may not have met the father of my daughter and might never have had a child. I will never regret my daughter!
Key Lime 7 months ago
I dated a guy for 8 years. The first five years were good because I was finishing school and then got my first full time job. Then I thought we should be getting married and fixated on that instead of enjoying our time together. We of course broke up because I wanted marriage and he wasn't ready.
zak 7 months ago
This is a minor one, but I would not recommend using the "free" (or discounted) windshield glass repair that car insurance companies offer (sometimes through a partnership with another business (ex: safelite). The insurance company will count it as an insurance claim, so your rate will likely increase when you go to renew the policy, or you won't be eligible for certain "safe driving"/etc discounts due to having recently filed a claim.
Julia Cargile 7 months ago
Not trying harder to keep my family together. I miss them every day.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
Choosing my boyfriend over my cat when he told me "It's me or the cat". I boarded her for two months (to hide her from him; I couldn't bear to get rid of her entirely) and it changed her personality entirely. She still isn't the same snuggly purr bundle she was before that. It took me another 7 years, but I finally chose the cat over the bf and now he's an ex XD But I regret those 24 years of emotional prison. I'm 43 now and I don't think I really want to dare dating ever again.
LakotaWolf (she/her) 7 months ago
BTW, this is the aforementioned cat XD 9 years old and still my little lady! kohl_kohl_...70a772.jpg
Little Bit 7 months ago
I screwed my life up when I was 16. I'd never been kissed by a Bog and I was desperate to be liked and to be wanted that I literally threw myself at the first person who took an interest in me. He turned out to be a narcissistic a****r and I wasted the best years of my life staying with him because I was too frightened to leave him.
Wintermute 7 months ago
I don't know if I should feel better or worse for how many of these I can relate to.
Wyrdwoman 7 months ago
There are always points in your life where you think 'I should have done this/that/the other', but there is no point in regretting your choices. If I had gone to college in a different town I may not have met the father of my daughter and might never have had a child. I will never regret my daughter!
Key Lime 7 months ago
I dated a guy for 8 years. The first five years were good because I was finishing school and then got my first full time job. Then I thought we should be getting married and fixated on that instead of enjoying our time together. We of course broke up because I wanted marriage and he wasn't ready.
zak 7 months ago
This is a minor one, but I would not recommend using the "free" (or discounted) windshield glass repair that car insurance companies offer (sometimes through a partnership with another business (ex: safelite). The insurance company will count it as an insurance claim, so your rate will likely increase when you go to renew the policy, or you won't be eligible for certain "safe driving"/etc discounts due to having recently filed a claim.
Julia Cargile 7 months ago
Not trying harder to keep my family together. I miss them every day.
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