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50 Times People Had The Heartbreaking Realization That Their Friends Were Horrible Human Beings
Interview With Author
We sometimes take friendship for granted. When you have a healthy and happy social circle, you can forget that not everyone has a close-knit group of friends they can always rely on. When you know for a fact that your BFFs, your pals, your buddies have your back, it’s incredible how confident you can feel. They’d do anything for you, you’d do anything for them, and even the three musketeers get jealous when they see you. Watch out, world, nobody can stop us!
Alas! Real-life doesn’t mimic our favorite fantasy books and TV shows as much as we’d like! Unfortunately, not every friendship turns out to be as brilliant as we just described it. True friends are rare. And some people who you think you can rely on can end up betraying you at the drop of a hat.
Internet users opened up about the moment that they realized that their so-called ‘friends’ were actually truly awful people. Just horrible. Jerks of the highest magnitude. Scroll down for their stories, as shared on r/AskReddit. If you’re feeling up to it, tell us about your own fake friends in the comments. And if you happen to be incredibly blessed, why not share a bit about how awesome your pals are, too? Meanwhile, you can find Bored Panda’s earlier article about fake friendships right over here.
Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., explained to Bored Panda why human beings seek validation and attention, at what point the desire for approval becomes unhealthy, and how we can learn to trust someone after being betrayed by a close friend. Professor Degges-White a Licensed Counselor and the Chair at the Department of Counseling and Higher Education at Northern Illinois University, told us that human beings are wired for social connection and we all crave a sense of belonging and acceptance by others. Read on for the full interview and to learn why being alone is better than being in a bad relationship, as well as how to tell how someone is likely a fake friend.
Meanwhile, Bored Panda also got in touch with redditor u/One-Refrigerator69, the author of the viral thread, to get their opinion on friendships and 'friendships.'
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
We were at a music festival. He came back from the restroom with a scared girl who looked to be no more than 15. He told me that she had lost her friends and that she couldn’t get a cell signal. He wanted to take her back to our car camping spot, and give her alcohol and drugs to “get her to relax”.
I told him that he was disgusting and after a brief conversation with her, I reunited her with her friends within 5 minutes.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
Thank you, thank you, thank you, You have a good soul, you kept her safe!
Nimues Child 3 years ago
Cannot upvote this enough. You put it better than I could, Caro.
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Foxxy says goodbye. 3 years ago
She is so lucky she had someone like you looking out for her. Thank you
Victor Trejo 3 years ago
Glad that you are still around. Hope things are going better.
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Ed Gomaz 3 years ago
If someone I knew had done this I would have made it very clear that he would have to find a different way home and never speak to me again.
Eff the haters 3 years ago
He might even get to take a ride in an ambulance
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Trisha Howson 3 years ago
Thank you for taking her back to safety hang around people like that is gonna get you in trouble too
Beachbum 3 years ago
What the hell man..... Wants to give a 15 year old drugs and alcohol? That is absolutely awful. How long were you friends with him after that?
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
That’s not all. He wanted to take her and do awful things too…
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RoanTheMad 3 years ago (edited)
I am absolutely terrified of the fact your friend basically wanted to give this poor girl alcohol and drugs to get her to "relax"... relax for what, exactly!? I'd have reported this "friend" to the police!
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Probably wasn't the first time the "friend" had done something like that. Probably chats up teen girls online or worse.
"When we are unable to find folks who will treat us the way we deserve to be treated, we will accept poor treatment from others," Professor Degges-White, from Northern Illinois University, detailed to Bored Panda why some people accept being treated poorly by others.
"Unfortunately, folks who grow up in abusive families learn to equate abusive behaviors with love or acceptance. Thus, they will tolerate pretty awful behavior from people that say that they love them or care about them—even when these people's actions show otherwise," the expert said.
"Sometimes, a person will decide that any 'friend' is better than no friends and allow themselves to be walked all over. Unfortunately, research indicates that a rocky or combative relationship is worse for a person's well-being and health than no relationship, actually," she said that being alone is, in fact, scientifically proven to be better than in a bad relationship.
RELATED:
#2
2006 my then best friend wanted to go to a big German metal festival. I did not want to go because my Dad had endstage cancer. Dad died August 8th, couple of days after friend returned from the festival and I called him because I needed someone to talk. He very bluntly stated that he had no interest in my Dad's passing but wanted to tell me how great the festival was. You can't imagine how disappointed I was. For years I've been there for him whenever he got dumped and the one time I needed a friend he wasn't there for me. Told him to shut my door from the outside and loose my number...
Artemis302 3 years ago
I was in a one-way friendship, I gave everything I had to support them, when I needed some support...nothing. I learned what I wanted/needed/expected from my friends. There aren't many, but the friendships are deep and true, and balanced.
Omi bub 3 years ago
One silver lining to my darkest clouds is thar in the really s**t times I found out who my true friends were & no longer have to waste time on others
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Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
I had a similar best friend. For years, we were always focused on her health issues and life events. At the time, I never let my own needs show, and my friends had never seen me upset or crying, because I always focused on them. When my LTR ended after almost 8 years, I was devastated, and for the first time in my life, I called my best friend--from who I'd taken plenty of 3am calls about her sadfeels--and said "Hey, I just need to talk." My bestie screamed "I don't want to hear your sad story! I might be dying! I have X and Y!" She then berated me until I broke down, then hit "record" while I sobbed. After I hung up, she played said recording for our other friends as proof I was "psycho," and then headed over to my Ex's house to offer him friendsex. They're still married, and two people have never deserved each other more. And she's still not dead.
Weed in the Garden 3 years ago
...And she's still not dead. Giggle - love your posts, Jan!
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Kathi Schäffer 3 years ago
So sorry :( in case you're German: mein aufrichtiges Beileid und es tut mir so leid, dass du das durchmachen musstest. Sowas nennt sich Freund... 🤬 Liebe Grüße ❤️
Aunt Riarch 3 years ago
Normally I take the view that profanity is the last resort. But in this case, I have to say that, age and maturity notwithstanding, that person is an utter c**t
Tiina Agur 3 years ago
This happened after my aunt had died unexpectedly. I came back from her funeral in another country, after organising everything. I really wanted to share with my best friend at the time but she immediately changed the subject. I tried 3 times in a row, and then stopped. That was really weird. I wasn't even hurt, just stunned. I couldn't figure it out, why would she act like that...You know what else is weird? My friend died almost exactly one year after this incident, also unexpectedly. I miss them both but I sometimes still wonder what the hell was that about...
Andy Johnson 3 years ago
When I was a teenager, my grand-dad was on dialysis and in the hospital with kidney failure and we were expecting him to pass anytime. My parents asked me and my sister not to schedule things with friends, and especially not going out of town. When it did happen, I was calling friends to let them know, and I called one friend who had gone to church with my granddad and knew him well. His immediate comment was "great, now you can go out of town again, let's go play laser tag tonight". It wasn't the last time we talked but it was the start of the end.
Rhea Williams 3 years ago
Someone once asked me to think what I was getting from a particular friendship. I thought, and the answer was nothing, I was giving all the time but receiving nothing. I ended it and life became better.
#3
I got surgery and no one checked up on me. Not even a text.
Bored Person 3 years ago
I told my friend I was having surgery and she said 'oh' and went on to talk about how good the thing she was at was that I was missing out on because of my surgery
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Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I visited a friend once and brought a gift, and unwittingly became her favourite person because I was the first to come and see her after her heart surgery. She was so happy!
Monday 3 years ago
That's so sweet. We never know how much the little things affect other people do we?
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Fred C. 3 years ago
Remind me my case: I was part of a group of men sharing different activities (hiking, bicycle riding etc.) Then I was diagnosed with bone cancer 1 1/2 year ago. I am 3 times a week in the hospital. Two of them called once at the beginning. Since then, never heard of them anymore...
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
The same thing happened to me when I was hospitalized with a massive staph infection inside my spinal column. I was in the hospital for over a month, and nada.
Disgruntled Pelican 3 years ago
Oh my gosh I'm so sorry! I hope you are doing much better now!
Load More Replies... Tia Fannen 3 years ago
I prefer this. When I'm sick or in the hospital, I want/need to focus on resting and getting better. If people come to visit, I feel I have to entertain them (keep the conversation going, ask about them and their family, etc.) instead. I turn my phone off for all but close family during that time for the same reason.
Zobi123 3 years ago
But surely you would be sad if no one called, emailed, or texted?
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Richard Willis 3 years ago
In 2004 my wife was diagnosed with gastro esophageal cancer, requiring the removal of her stomach. One of our best friends, who, with their two sons, we had taken in when the husband lost his job and they were in negative equity, blanked us TOTALLY; not a phone call, or card, or text or email message.
Fickle_Pickle 3 years ago
This. But my own family. Had an emergency appendectomy, was in the hospital for three days and yet no one ever checked on me, not even a text. I almost died from the infection smh. But now that my life has changed for the better, they all come out of the woodwork expecting handouts fml.
JessieB 3 years ago
I had a massive stroke that left me permanently disabled and unable to leave the house without help. I got a few frown emojis on Facebook and one text from someone I never heard from again. My ex left shortly after. Sadly, many people in our lives value us more for we can do for them than they value us as people.
Chels 3 years ago
I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and needed surgery to remove it. I told my “friends” this. One of them accused me of lying about needing surgery and said I was really getting plastic surgery instead. None of my other friends stood up for me. I cut them out of my life like my surgeon cut my thyroid out of my throat. No texts after surgery to check on me. I had to take an Uber to and from the hospital. Alone.
Christina R 3 years ago
That's awful, I'm so sorry. I hope you've found better friends since then.
Load More Replies..."When a person is spending all of their 'friendship energy' trying to please a 'friend,' that's a sign that the relationship is out of balance and is a cause for concern. If you're willing to sacrifice your pride, your assets, or well-being for a friend who is unwilling to invest in the relationship in an equivalent manner, whatever that might be, it's a time to re-evaluate your perspective and the relationship," the professor warned.
Professor Degges-White said that trust is one of the most essential ingredients in any healthy relationship. When broken, trust is extremely difficult to rebuild. And some of us go through life assuming that others are just as trustworthy as we are.
"When a friend has violated our trust, our need for that friend often dictates how quickly we're able to 'forgive and forget' or at least 'move on' from the incident. To rebuild trust can take time—we may need to give another person several opportunities to show that they can indeed be trusted. If we want a person in our lives, and they have let us down, we are often willing to start anew and see what happens," the expert told Bored Panda.
#4
I had gotten into a car accident that left me needing a couple years worth of physical therapy. To this day, i still cannot close my left hand in a fist with it hurting and shaking like mad. Anyways, i get discharged from the hospital. I had, let’s call this girl wendy, i had asked wendy a week before if she’d be able to pick me up that day at this time. She agreed. I called her she said “oh sorry there’s traffic i’ll be there in 20 minutes.” 20 minutes turned into 6 hours, and i called an uber home. sent a text two days later saying “sorry my car wouldn’t start.” Why lie?? Anyways, a couple weeks later i see Wendy, Jesse, and Vila. I’m at their house to hangout and to celebrate one of their birthdays. The ENTIRE time, was Jesse complaining on how i shouldn’t be here at the birthday party because i’m taking everyone’s attention of the birthday girl. And how i planned this to ruin her birthday. yada yada. Wendy and Vila gossiping while looking at me and giggling. Jesse got fed up that i needed help raising my hand for a toast(because why else would she specifically make EVERYONE use their left hand?). I attempted to make an effort raising my hand and the champagne spilt everywhere on me. And then jesse got up and pushed me out of her party, while Wendy and Vila did nothing and laughed at me. That day, i went home, blocked all their numbers, stopped talking to them. About a couple months later i get a text from Wendy saying “i’m sorry but you kinda deserved it, i mean u were taking all the attention of Jesse.” How does that justify anything???? And then i learned that all three girls got arrested selling drugs together. Good times.
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
It sounds as though your 'friends' had the collective maturity of a slow middle-schooler. These people can drive and breed.
Trisha Howson 3 years ago
Yeah self centered bitches got what they deserved not to mention they where evil. If someone treats you like this tell them what you feel and then just leave.
Pumpkin Spice 3 years ago
I hope you can close your left hand in a fist soon! I want to see them punched!
Mokayokok 3 years ago
Not to be a complete a*s, but did they really wait 6 hours, or are they embellishing a little since it makes for a better story? I’m just asking due to my next question, why would they wait a full 6 hours BEFORE deciding the a*****e seriously wasn’t coming and ordered an Uber?
#5
“Survival of the fittest” after I said that covid could take out my mom. they wanted to go back to partying.
Helen Waight 3 years ago
Disabled person here who’s heard that all too many times in the last few years. Just because we’re more at risk doesn’t mean we’re worth less.
Cookie 3 years ago
Yeah, my "friends" keep telling me "It's only the weak who die", "Covid is just a mild flu."
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LittleWombat 3 years ago
It's been sadly eye-opening to learn where so many people stood on caring for other people's well-being during COVID. Gave up a lot of people after learning this about them ina real-life test of "are you a decent human being."
Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
It really was The Big Reveal about how many selfish and stupid assholes we have in our communities and families. I never thought something as simple as "Hey, wear a mask" would turn these basically selfish people into raving, ranting maniacs.
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Mason Kronol 3 years ago
People are so self centered and cruel. At the very beginning of the COVID pandemic- March 2020- my husband's 49 yr old friend had just recovered from leukemia. He contracted COVID at the hospital during his final treatment and was dead within a month. I hate hearing people saying it's just a cold or like the flu. His oldest son was about to graduate HS. That family was devastated. I got it a few months later, it's been almost 2 years and I still have symptoms and I was very healthy previously. But at least I'm alive.
InfectedVoiceBox 3 years ago
One day they may have a terrible disease, like cancer, I am the level of petty that I will remember this for years and visit them in the hospital just to say that one thing and leave again.
Jessica Hubert 3 years ago
This one makes me so angry !!! I lost my father in law to covid, hubby was hospitalized for 10 days from covid and nearly died..and I had covid for 10 days and it was awful..it was the absolute worst.
#6
When I made new friends and realised that it's not normal for friends to constantly beat on me and make fun of me
KiT 3 years ago
It's scary how we normalise harmful, malicious behaviour. Happy this OP was able to see the truth
Mascha Claessens 3 years ago
And that he made new friends that made him realize that, by not being mean. :-)
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Lara Verne 3 years ago
I once had "friends" like that. They seemed okay, until I went camping with them. I pretty soon realized that I am always the butt of their jokes (insults, actually), and I was never laughing. When I got angry, they told me that I am killjoy who can't take a joke, when I turned it against them, I was the bad one. So I packed my stuff and told them to go to hell. Jerks.
April Dancer 3 years ago
My Husband had this when we first met. As an 'outsider' I could see the toxic behaviour they used on him. No one else in the group, just him. I started with casually pointing stuff they did & said to him as not being 'nice' or 'right' and gradually disentangled him from them altogether. I made a point of never hiding what I was doing and why. He has other friends now. Actual friends, not left over from school bullies.
"I think the saying, 'Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me' is one that applies to those friends who continue to let us down and violate trust," she said.
"Healthy relationships are based on trust and respect and if we don't ask for those from our friends, the relationships will be a lot less satisfying, balanced, and healthy. But we have to be willing to set boundaries, expectations, and offer to friends what we need them to offer to us."
#7
She got a boyfriend and would let him listen to our phone calls and not tell me, even if I was crying about personal stuff that I would only ever tell her. Then they both started lying to me about my crush liking me back, forcing both him and me into awkward positions (telling everyone we liked each other so they'd play along, swapping places constantly to make us sit next to each other, pressuring him into giving me a lap dance, making him kiss the prettiest girl in the room, etc), and encouraged me to shoot my shot more and more. All the while they knew he didn't like me, he had told them both directly. One night I was crying on the phone cause I was so confused why my advances weren't working, and they just kept explaining it away, blaming some other b******t reason and telling me to try again. The next day they told me they were laughing throughout the whole call, because I didn't get it and I was so upset. I should add I had no dating experience at all and nobody had ever liked me at this point
Latchkey 3 years ago (edited)
Similar thing happened to me with a coworker. He convinced me his best friend (who also worked there) had a giant crush on me. I hadn't told anyone I liked this guy, but somehow everyone knew. My coworker told EVERYONE he was lying to me because he "thought it was so funny" that I believed him. Not one person told me it was all a joke until almost two weeks later. I almost quit, it was mortifying. I chewed him out and he basically said "lol" and thought I was overreacting. "No one cares." Yeah, I do. It's not like I've been made fun of like this for my entire life... EDIT: He also verbally sexually harassed every girl that worked there, and I was the ONLY one that said anything. My managers "talked to him" but nothing changed, of course. For example, he had a play on my real name that basically called me T*ts and would refer to me that way with EVERYONE behind my back, and would REPEATEDLY tell all the other girls which ones he wanted to f*ck, in order from most to least, and then ask them who they'd want to have a threesome with (him being the only guy that worked in my department). This is some of the more mild stuff. I've never met anyone as horrendously evil as him. Just imagine Hunter Moore but *really* rich.
Trisha Howson 3 years ago
Some people are just like to cause problems you will learn how to tell who these people are after dealing with them. There is a lot of them out there and sometimes you get a gut feeling about what they tell you. Yeah them are the evil people.
Pat Lenzo 3 years ago
ALWAYS believe what your gut tells you - seriously!
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#8
When I told my friend I was completely in love with this girl and also told him that I’ve been battling depression for 2 years as well as thinking about killing myself. Then found out that not even 2 weeks after I told him all this he starting hooking up with the girl and then would brag and talk about her in front of me as if he had no idea about how I felt.
June 3 years ago
Had this group of "friends" when I was ~16. I was very close and in love with one of the guys, my girl friend definitely knew it. She was a bit jealous of me (I was thinner). One day, both ghosted me. I found out later that they started a fwb relationship together... I felt terrible.
Starbelly Eleven 3 years ago
I had a friend do this to me. She ended up giving the guy herpes.
#9
They were picking on a member of our group for random c**p (eg her hair, her clothes etc).
I snapped and told them to stfu and that they sounded like a band of hyenas, and they said "if she doesn't know how s**t she is, her life will be hard, we are HELPING her".
Needless to say we didn't keep in touch afterwards.
General Anaesthesia 3 years ago
Right, plus the age old "he bullies you because he really likes you". People can be so cruel.
IFailedSuccessfully(He/they) 3 years ago
I've gotten that before. A teacher had to tell ththe entire class that if a guy likes someone he isnt gonna bully them bc that's just an awful thing to.do and doesnt make any sense
Load More Replies... Trisha Howson 3 years ago
Good I'm glad you said something to them they will some day pay for there horrible behavior.
Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
She desperately needed to hear SOMEONE stick up for her for a change. Thank you.
Isaac Harvey 3 years ago
Standing up to friends is far harder but morally better than standing by. You made the right choice.
Derek Watkins 3 years ago
dang it just gets censored by the website, my fault
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The author of the viral thread, redditor u/One-Refrigerator69, shared with Bored Panda what made them create the post on r/AskReddit in the first place.
"My inspiration for writing this was because recently one of my friends was being very mean and disrespectful to me and my other friends," they told us.
#10
When I almost died in the hospital. People I thought were good friends never visited or called, and people who I wasn't very close with came to visit me.
Katrin Krueger 3 years ago
Afterwards they'll whine and go "I didn't know what to say/do!" Yes, understandable, but neither did I, and sorry this wasn't about you, why do I have to deal with a) my problem/health and b) your inability to handle it right then and there?
Big Chungus 3 years ago
Yes, even just sitting there saying nothing is more. I did this with my mom when she was stuck in the hospital for a random heart failure and I didn't know what to do or say so I just hung out with her for hours like we did at home watching wheel of fortune and jeopardy until she finally was able to go home
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Greg Williams 3 years ago
At that point there is no excuse. Me and my friends after noticing our friend disappear from school and found out what happened and got phone numbers and info etc. We went on a hunt. Anyone that says "I didn't know what to do" is absolute bs. They didn't feel like taking the time and care to make sure you're alright.
RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago
Similarly for me, except the only person who reached out at all was my employer. I got a gift basket congratulating me on becoming a father. I was in the hospital after a major accident. But at least they tried. I ended up looking forward to seeing the chaplains coming. Three weeks in the hospital, awake for two of them, they were the only people who would have a conversation with me. Sure, sometimes about God, but mostly just to keep me sane. Not one friend came to visit, even during my year in PT, learning how to walk and use a fork and knife. It was the loneliest time in my life, but made me far less reliant on others. The pandemic was a breeze in comparison.
RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago
I also learned the only people who care about you, are those people who are paid to care. I had a girlfriend at the time, she ghosted me, though we didn't have that term then. She told her friend she didn't want to "see me like that". Didn't want my problem to be her problem. Don't really blame her, it did suck pretty bad. I'm fine now BTW, it took about 8 months to feel like myself, and another 4 to be at 100%. I'm married with 3 kids, but i think if s**t hit the fan like that again, my wife would be gone in a blink.
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Zet 3 years ago
3 years ago I moved to a remote village in the Swiss alps due to work.... it always took me about 4+ hours by train to get to my parents or to a big city where my friends all so called friends live... i lived there for about 1 year... the only people that came to visit me were my ex boyfriend ( he flew in from Australia) my good friend (she flew in from Korea) and my parents, brothers and old neighbours i didn't even know so well. All my other friends i knew since 5+ years couldn't bother come to visit me because the fare was "too expensive " or "we just dn't have time to visit you" .. i went EVERY weekend to visit my friends because they wouldn't come.... moved out of that s**t hole 1 year later but damaged.. no trust in my "friends" anymore and depressed.... it took me about 3 years to get stable again.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
Oh my god! I hope you’re alright now, I understand the trust issues part <3
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Bettie-Jean Neal 3 years ago
Same here! A lovely couple I was FB friends with came to see me in ICU (I had only met them once about 7 years prior) and some of my closet friends didn't even DM me or anything. I almost died (ended up being kidney failure). I went through my "friends" list and if you didn't even acknowledge I was serious ill, delete/block!
Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
I ended up dropping two "friends" after George and I were both hospitalized with COVID and almost died. I heard from everyone from international senior colleagues to neighbors to most friends... with two stand-outs. If you can't be bothered in two months to even send a simple "How are you, do you need anything?" note, you suck. I'd put myself out for both of them before, and they can't even be arsed to ask "Still alive?"
Claire Wells 1 year ago
I was deathly ill in the august then died (yeah,I came back) 4 months later. Not one so called friend enquired or asked how I was. Guess I’m not as important as I thought I was!
April Kurtz 3 years ago
My sister's son died, so I went to visit for a couple weeks, and to make sure she was going to be okay. Then, six months later, she was diagnosed with breast cancer. So every time she had chemo, I'd spend another couple of weeks visiting and making sure she was eating, drinking water and moving around when she was able, she needed physical support. I spent Spring and Summer helping her out. I was diagnosed with a rare cancer in May of 2021(So far, I'm okay). I had surgery scheduled for Sept. and my sister came to visit and help out. All she talked about was her f**king dogs and how much she missed them. I finally told her she should go home if she was worried, and boy, she couldn't leave fast enough. She hadn't even been here a week, and I was still in the hospital. When she was going through treatment, I had stayed with her each time until she was able to mostly recover from chemo, until she was up and about. This hurt my feelings badly. Oh well.
#11
My husband got cancer. When my friends found out about it, they stopped contacting me. Now he's dead and they still don't call.
Final score:
191points
Minath 3 years ago
Thsts heartbreaking, losing the love of your life and your friends turning their back on you must be so tough to deal with. I just want to reach out and give OP a hug.
LillyFlower (Submission author) 3 years ago
Well, he was only 22 when we got the diagnosis. I thougt my friends didn't knew what to say. Two years later he died. Now six months after his death I have only two true friends left. But some of his friends are mine now. It was tough but it will be ok.
Ansi 3 years ago
Being 22 would explain a lot of things. 🤔 Probably like you said they were immature and didn't know what to say. Maybe they will come around in time? Who knows... I hope you take care of your fragile heart and are able to find happiness in the future. ❤️
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Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
I know this feeling kinda... I had cancer {got it too put and now kind free, but its looking spotty again} but anyway i had it and my partner at the time {a year ago}.... he left me, after 3 days of begging to know why he told me he didnt want to be left alone if i died, and i told him how messed up that was for me cause i wasnt going to let it take me {and it didnt} and we stayed together, only for him to now listen to "new" friends and leave me.... on the bright side im now gettingm married to the love of my life now
LillyFlower (Submission author) 3 years ago
When he was diagnosed, my husband said that I should go because he didn't want me to suffer. I stayed and it was the worst, but also the best time of my life. We knew how much we love each other, that was enough. Sometimes life is unfair. It's nice that you're happy now.❤
Load More Replies... Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
I'm so, so sorry. I know the excuse is "they don't know how to handle it," but that's no comfort, and not a valid excuse. My mom did this a few years ago to her best friend of 50 years. Unfuckingbelievable. LillyFlower, you deserved so much better, and if it helps, you're getting a ton of BP love. I'm so sorry.
Totally happy Panda 3 years ago
Sad way to realize these were a wrong set of people posing as friends
#12
I let my friend use my car while i house-sit my neighbors house while my friend uses it for work (his car died)..9 days later, he comes back in a uber and gave me 500 bucks and i asked him where my car is and he said "ima be honest with you, i sold it for weed and alcohol so no hard feelings?"
My car around that time was a 1965 Chevy Impala SS that my grandpa gave me before he died due to lung cancer and that was the last thing he gave to me so the car was very special to me and the fact that my "friend" sold it for f****n weed and alcohol blows my f****n mind😐
Also, i had an appraisal on my csr just in case if i needed money and the appraisal was around 35-45 grand for the car.
Paul Macdonell 3 years ago
So report it stolen, find the owner through DMV records and retrieve your car. This story sounds untrue as people just can't sell other people's cars and all is lost. It dosen't work that way or people would be selling rental cars on every corner....
DelvianBlue 3 years ago
He could have sold it to a chop shop employee. I doubt they'd care.
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Gabriela 3 years ago
Thanks. I needed that. Why did I keep reading to this point and torture my soul with these stories?
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Lion's Stare 3 years ago
This doesn't make sense. ar least not in the US. you can't sell a car without the title or proof or ownership
TheEndIsNigh🇨🇦and🇬🇧in🇺🇲 3 years ago
I mean...technically you could, because let's be honest, someone who bought it in exchange for drugs probably isn't very law abiding. You could file the VIN and make new papers. Illegal chop shops are a real thing. I still think this story stinks a little though...I don't condone violence, but after I beat the everloving p**s out of that guy, I would have reported it stolen.
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Delta Dawn 3 years ago
You trade it to a drug dealer for, you guessed it, drugs.
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martin734 3 years ago
If he exchanged a $45,000 car for $500 of weed and booze, I very much doubt that the buyer was entirely on the level.
Load More Replies... Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
This is theft, same with the PS2 one. I hope the OP tracked it down and got it back again.
martin734 3 years ago
Considering they were getting a $45,000 car for $500 worth of weed and booze, I rather doubt that the buyer really cared who owned the car.
Load More Replies... Meanwhile, they also shared how they check if someone's a true or false friend. "In my opinion, the way I check if a person is really my friend is if they don't try to use me for anything and don't make excuses for trying to hang out with you," they said, adding that if someone's overly rude to you when you spend time together, it's a red flag that they might not be such a great pal as you initially thought.
"What me and my friend did was talk about the sort of things that they did and why that is wrong," the OP said that they tackled the issue head-on. "Hopefully they will be willing to listen and understand that what they did was wrong and how they can change that."
#13
When we were driving, he purposely tried to run over some ducks. The first time I saw him swerve at a turtle I thought that I hadn't just seen that and thought that I was wrong in what I saw. When we got to his house ( we ran to the store for some more chips and rolls for a cook out) told the wife we had to go. His wife called later to see if everyone was ok, and my wife shared with her what had happened. To which she replied" it's just freaking birds". I'm polite but not friendly to he and she now.
hot foot mask 3 years ago (edited)
anyone who's cruel to animals is undeserving of basic kindness or respect!
Helen X 3 years ago (edited)
It seems to be that children/people who start abusing animals, will eventually start hurting people. It’s a major red flag.
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Melissa 3 years ago
Meanwhile I moved a snail off the hot pavement during a heatwave. Be nice to nature people
Big Chungus 3 years ago
This is one of John Douglass's signs of a serial killer...violence towards animals
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
WTF? I actually rescued a baby bird I found on the lawn of the property I maintain.
Snorky The Pig 3 years ago
i love people like you. thank you for being kind in this crazy world.
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Bianca Saville 3 years ago
I once stopped at a road junction in Epping forest to try and get ducklings and mother duck out of the road. A van driver coming the other way stopped too and with much chasing and shooing we got the ducklings back into the forest. This is what normal people do.
#14
When I was being abused by my ex and told them what was happening so maybe they could help me get out. They didn't believe me, acted like I was lying, and even defended him.
That was nearly 10 years ago and thankfully I was able to get out and now I'm happily remarried, but you can bet that I haven't had a close friendship since because I no longer trust people.
Artemis302 3 years ago
I'm so glad you're out of the abusive relationship! We'll done, you! What sh*t friends you had. Not everyone is like that, but you're right, trust needs to be earned. Please stay safe
Big Chungus 3 years ago
Same thing happened to my sister. A lot of her "friends" believed the guy and sided with him. Luckily I was able to get her out and I have some amazing people inn my life that helped support her and now a decade later life is sooo much better for her
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
I know people who freaking applauded and gushed when this one young woman tried getting back with the POS who physically attacked her (tried choking her). People who don't believe the victim, stand by the abuser, and believe it's something to "just move on" from are as bad as the abuser.
RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago
I had a friend who was being abused by her husband. She left with the kids, but her parents disowned her for bringing them shame. This was all before I met her. Just goes back to my general theory that people are horrible, unless forced to be otherwise.
Tori Wilson 3 years ago
This is so f*****g sad. I'm stoked U are out of the abusive sitch. But I hope hope hope U find some one who shows U what true friends are.
#15
Had been friends with this dude like 2 years, shared a common hobby of playing guitar and we used to jam a lot.
One time we met up and he started to brag to me that he had just cheated on his girlfriend with her niece, I mean dude was proud over it like "woohooo I just got laid". I lost all respect for him in that moment and slowly started to talk less and less with him so eventually he wouldnt bother to make contact again
Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
More men need to call their male friends on their shitty, sexist, abusive behavior.
Professor Degges-White previously explained to Bored Panda in more detail how to tell if a friendship is superficial or authentic. She said that real friendships are built on trust and mutual respect. “If you don't feel in your gut that this is what a person is offering to you in the relationship, they aren't a true friend,” she said.
“Also, friends recognize that the 'giving and taking' in friendships needs to be balanced over time," the professor noted that the spirit of reciprocity is very important in friendships. A person who constantly asks for favors like a place to crash or a loan, but never has the time to help you when you need a hand, is most likely not someone you can trust.
"Friends who talk about us behind our back, aren't there for us when our lives are crashing and we need someone to talk to, or aren't there for us when we want to celebrate our successes—those friendships don't reflect authentic deep friendship. When a friend takes advantage of us or lets us down repeatedly, then it is time to re-think whether this is a relationship that is worth the risk,” Professor Degges-White said.
#16
When he sexually assaulted my new girlfriend, while I was using the washroom.
Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
My ex-bestie--the same one who ended up married to my ex--went after my then-teenage little brother a couple times. She was eight years older than him. He told me she was being gross, so I told her it was inappropriate, and she respectfully said "Oh, okay, sorry-" No, of course she didn't. She flipped out on me about how "controlling" I was and didn't want her to be happy. When you're cornering a 19-year-old and inviting him to watch porn with you when we're supposed to be hanging out, you MIGHT be a gross a*****e.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
My mouth has screwed up in distaste with this story. What a thundercunt this person was to you and yours!
Load More Replies... Helen X 3 years ago (edited)
I was very good friends with a girl in college. One time, her brother joined us while going out. Later in the evening, I felt him touching my butt. It surprised me and I ironically asked him about the girl the was dating (he told about her earlier, apparantly she was abroad). A few weeks later I also told my friend about the incident and that I didn’t appreciate it. She refused to call her brother out on it bc ‘it’s my litlle brother and don’t you say smt bad about him’, or smt like that. Also, her brother had said about me that I was out of toch, unworldly. My friend didn’t do anything to defend me. That was a major red flag to me. It wasn’t the only thing and I eventually decided to break up with her, bc after everything I told her and how she hurt my feelings, she didn’t do anything. At all. Not even apologizing. I’m no longer in contact with her.
Summer Mason 3 years ago
I'm not into violence. But I would of f****d that guys day up. No one no matter who they are deserves sexual assault. And the humans who sexually assault people are worthless.
#17
When he didn't invite me or even tell me about his wedding but called on the wedding day and asked me to lend him $1000 because he was in a tight spot.
Mokayokok 3 years ago
He should have said that it would be no problem to give him $1K since it’s obviously an important day, then don’t transfer it and just block him.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
It’s not! Please get out of those “friendships” NOW and stay safe!!!
Load More Replies... Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
I know I'm ridiculously naive, but this kind of selfishness just blows my mind every single time.
SanDiegoDoug 3 years ago
My response would be: "Sorry, do I know you?" and then put a block on that number.
#18
I was in the locker rooms changing and one of my classmates said "did you see what X posted on her insta story?" as in a very condescending way. Then, the other girls jumped up saying "No, let me see!" or "Yeah, she's such a h0." I happened to have seen that story bevorehand and it was just a selfie with her in her bf's car. Nothing out of usual.
AFTER that, they started to show each other old videos of themselves mocking other stories of her. I realized the real h0es were in there with me, quickly grabbed my stuff and left.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
GASP how is it not censored??? Quick, everyone, swear while the censor fairies are down!!!
Load More Replies... Seedy Vine 3 years ago
Why were they so obsessed with a woman they didn't want to be friends with? Creeeeeeps.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
H0es are gonna be h0es, so instead get yourself some bros :D also I wonder why they’re calling her a piece of farming equipment?/j
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
They were the true h0es all along. Sounds like a Hallmark movie plot. Or a SyFy horror movie - the h0es we’re coming from inside the house!!
"Real friends are those people who are going to be there for you whether life is going beautifully for you or life has tanked and you feel like you're in over your head. Friendships are about emotional and instrumental support—it's a totally mutual, voluntary, reciprocal relationship. Therefore, we can all decide what we want to put into a friendship," she said.
"Authentic friendships are built on mutual respect and reciprocity and affection—there's an emotional commitment there that doesn't exist in superficial friendships. Don't tell your secrets or your vulnerabilities to a superficial friend, because you can't be sure how they might use this information. With authentic friendships, we can be completely ourselves and know that we will still be loved," the professor told Bored Panda.
"One of the biggest differences between friend types is the amount of emotional energy they are investing into the relationship and the depth of their appreciation for your presence in their lives."
#19
When I finally realised that if she was b**ching about other people to me, she was most likely b**ching about me to them. It took me a surprisingly long time to figure this one out.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
I'm massively insecure around anyone I've heard b***h about anyone else.
Lillukka79 3 years ago
Not necessarily. I have two people to whom I b***h about other people and have never bitched about either of them to anybody.
Little Wonder 3 years ago
Yeah I ended a friendship for the same reason. She was so vicious about people not "treating her right" (in her very demanding way) that I realised she was probably complaining about me to those people too. So, bye.
María Hermida 3 years ago
You are not alone. Most of us take ages to come to this conclusion. Same with cheating. If a person cheats on their partner to be with you, they will cheat on you to be with somebody else. It's as simple as that. A leopard never changes its spots.
Kat Lyle 3 years ago
I sadly lost a best friend this way too... I had tinted glasses on for many years until two incidents that she created and then decided she was the victim. Once you notice one toxic behaviour, you start noticing them all. And for the record, I am just as guilt for participating but have stopped doing that now.
Delta Dawn 3 years ago
Count on it 100%. Also if s/he cheated on their SO with you, and then they get together with you officially, they WILL cheat on you with someone else. Cheaters gonna cheat.
#20
I let my friend borrow my ps2 when I went to boot camp. When I came back, he said he sold it and gave me $50 I think? This was in 2006.
Billy Harrelson 3 years ago
Yeah, my brother did that to me once. I had an extensive collection of Nintendo games, some that were quite rare. About 50 or more titles and he asked to borrow them once. They ended up in a closet and I'd ask about them occasionally and he'd say that he couldn't get to them at that moment. Time comes for him to have to move and I ask him again. He had finally gotten to them but sold the whole lot for $30. Tried to give me $5 to make up for it. I told him to keep his $5 and never let him borrow anything ever again.
Dre Mosley 3 years ago
Happened to me. Loaned a girl I knew my PS2 so that she could use it as a DVD player to watch some movie she had rented, and she freaking pawned it because she was short on rent one month.
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
The stupid thing is since it was sold the cops would probably say it's a civil matter.
#21
When my ‘best friend’ f****d the guy I was in love with (she knew) while I was on work-placement for 2 weeks.
All my ‘friends’ thought I should get over it and not rock the boat. So I did.
First major depressive episode and a reflection of my self-esteem at the time.
A year later she threw a fit because I kissed a guy that she liked. While still being in a relationship with the original guy.
He dropped off a bag of my clothes she borrowed INCLUDING a box of tampons I had given her.
You know the friendship is over when you get back your feminine hygiene products!! 😂
F**k you A and J!!
Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
I do love the people who argue that cheating/hooking up with your crush/ex is okay because "They're really in love!" as if YOU are somehow holding them back?
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
well i would have called her a C*nt... but she didnt keep the Tampons! lol
Niall Mac Iomera 3 years ago
So because you like this dude, no one else is allowed to be with him? He must have liked her and not you right?
Meanwhile, financial expert Sam Dogen, the founder of the Financial Samurai blog, shared with Bored Panda how we can tell if someone is with us just because of our money.
"If the partner never offers to pay for anything, that is a huge red flag. A truly loving partner would at least offer to pay for a meal, buy a small gift, or spend time doing something nice for you, especially if they don't have a lot of money. However, a partner who is mainly using you for your money will usually never speak up. They'll just have the default expectation that you'll pay for everything," he explained how we can tell if someone who we’re dating is more interested in our resources than who we are as people.
"The wealthier partner can protect themselves by first having an open dialogue about their partner's finances. Once the wealthier partner knows what they are dealing with, then they can make a more informed decision about how money will play a role in the relationship. It is really the surprise money issues that throw couples off-balance," the financial expert told Bored Panda.
#22
This was way back in the MSN Messenger period.
I had this "friend", really friendly outgoing guy and we used to hang out together like once or twice a month. Spinning some records, watching anime, playing video games. He tried to make steps into a music career and our chats usually would involve him sending over samples and tracks. Most of the time it was just utter trash but me, being a good friend, being positive and giving tips.
Fast forward...
His music 'career' took off and he was able to DJ at some small events. He gained some traction, kinda gathered an entourage.
Didn't hear from him much any more, after suddenly he messaged me with many different things, if I could help him out. Do some graphics, do some spreadsheeting. When I said I was busy he threw the "but we bros, bro". I screenshoted the chat, highlighted the date of our last chat and told him "bros don't let bros messages unread and unreplied for 6 weeks and than don't say 'hi' and barge in with questions and demands".
I've seen him one or twice in the past 7 years. I greeted him but avoided conversation.
I heard later that he done this with more people and it was his way of making 'friends'. Look for people with certain skills, use them, benefit from them and 'move up'.
ben woskje 3 years ago
ill expect more downvotes for this (assuming i can now comment again) - but sometimes people dont know how to relate to others - and their work/doing things together is how they relate to others/their best attempt.
Ranger Kanootsen 3 years ago
I agree with you to an extent (don't worry, I'm not down voting you!) but I also know that while some people can't relate to others very well, it's still not great to use people.
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Seedy Vine 3 years ago (edited)
There was a handsome guy in an online chat group that befriended women there, just so he could sleep at their place whenever he travelled. He’d flirt with them, pay attention to them, then after he slept over at their place, he'd take off and forget they existed. He tried messaging me one night, after ignoring me for months: “Hey, I’m in town!” I just wrote back, “Awww, good for you!” 😅
Pamela Blue 3 years ago (edited)
Oh I hate to say that there are a LOT of people out there like that. They're only "friends" while they can use you. Once you are no longer useful, you're ghosted.
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
I do this.... dont reply untill someone else does somtime it takes a while..... cause dispite being a seemingly outgoing guy..... im actually very shy unless talked to first, it will actually take a month of me building up enough courage to talk to one of my friends unless they talk first, Thats how i know there really my friends, cause they understand this, it seems this dude was busy and was just waiting for YOU to message, and when you didnt he finally did only for you to flake
Leoninus Fate 3 years ago
This said I have been used a LOT by others to get better on there stuff, and I know how it feels to be used and tossed or to have a pretend friend.... and the DJ dude dont sound like it, the OP dude read into it too much and ruined it
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Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
I get that the guy was using the OP, but I also think it's possible to not talk to someone for years and still be friends, because that's kinda the way I am. There are a lot of people from my distant past I still remember fondly, and I'd love the chance to hang out with them again, but you know, life gets in the way.
Christina R 3 years ago
Yeah, but it would be shitty to only get in contact with them to use them to do something for you.
Load More Replies... #23
(just one) When he propositioned my girlfriend to have sex with him under the guise of making sure she was being faithful to me.
#24
When I started to actually show how horrible my mental health was. I was expected to be the "clown friend" in a friend group. Meaning I should always be joking and happy even in serious times and playing dumb. It's not how I wanted to be known but it seemed like it was the only way for me to make friends. The pressure of this, plus other things I was dealing with became too much for me to handle so I started taking about how I was feeling and how I was starting to have an identity crisis. Since I stopped playing dumb and being obnoxious I became "too boring" to hang out with. I had a few who stuck around and eventually the few and I became more open to each other about mental health.
connie veilleux 3 years ago
I was a very upbeat, positive member of management which made me very popular with associates. I ended up being fired in a pretty brutal way because I wasn't HAPPY enough after my 22 yr old son died.
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Ranger Kanootsen 3 years ago
Oh god, I feel this one. This is me currently. It's really painful hiding pain behind a smile.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago (edited)
I get it. It frickin sucks. I’m thankful to have one friend to reveal my true self to, tho most of my friend group wouldn’t care because I’m the one that’s the supporting always there for you one
Load More Replies... Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
I was this role, too, not quite the clown, but the mom-caretaker-helper. They used to actually joke that I never cried or had a bad day. I did, they just never saw it, and never cared.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
I get it. I was the one they asked for advice. Yet I couldn’t show my true self to them because I was the “stupid baby” if the friend group
Load More Replies... Crazy catz 3 years ago
I am so glad you found someone to talk to though, my best friend moved away at a time I needed her the most, we were only 14, but she was on that phone as long as i needed her to be, to this day almost 30 years later, we both know we only have to pick up the phone and the other will always be there, that is so important when you have mental health issues, I'm not sure I'd be here without her
Aunty Fairy 3 years ago
I feel this one hardd. Currently me, I'm the friend who 'always smiles' and is 'super innocent' smh
"For example, if you know your partner is deep in debt and you still choose to team up, then that's fine. Your expectations are set. But if you went into your relationship thinking your partner had a million-dollar investment portfolio but doesn't, then things might turn sour quickly. A strong relationship is based on trust and admiration,” he said.
"Ideally, I think marrying your equal is better than marrying rich. It's extremely rewarding and more dignifying to build your wealth together as a couple. However, if you can marry someone who you love who is also already rich, then that works too!"
#25
When i prepared my graduation project with them. Those a**holes left me in the last week before the deadlines, and put their names with group of girls. The surprise that i had another plan, and it won the prize of the best project( so i didnt need to share it with those a**holes)
Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl) 3 years ago
Then everyone stood up and clapped. They were such good friends that you actually had a backup plan.... They weren't friends in the first place. Probably just class mates that he teamed up with.
#26
When they cut me out all of the sudden. I had been friends with these guys for 10 years then one day they all up and left blocked me on everything. I have been questioning if I am a horrible person.
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
Your friends chose not to explain to you why. So, no you are not horrible person. Sorry about blunt hedgehog logic.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
Blunt hedgehog logic🤣 I’m gonna use that sometime!
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Wondering Alice 3 years ago
The small group I hung out with at high school all decided to cut me out one day. One girl had come on a foreign family holiday with us the year before, so my mum appealed to her mum to at least tell me why. I never found out. It hurt for a long time.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
This happened to my son when he was 15 and his 3 best friends decided he was annoying or something. 3 months later we threw him a 16th birthday party. Loads of people came, they put pics all over FB, going on about what a great time they'd had and how amazing my son is. It was really cool. Word obviously got around and the other 3 made overtures of friendship again, which Leon graciously accepted. They're still friends now and I think they all learned a lesson.
CrunChewy McSandybutt 3 years ago
This happened to me, too. It's worse than a breakup, because with a breakup at least you know why. It's been 20 years and I still get stung by it every so often.
Flexiegirl94 3 years ago
This happened to me... I had been best friends with this girl for 6 years. Like, REALLY close. Then she went to uni and I got ghosted. No calls, txts. Nothing. I learnt from other people what was happening. Most painful experience of my life. Cried myself to sleep a few times.
Mer☕️🧭☕️ 3 years ago
Ghosters are horrible, weak, nasty, spineless, cowards that we are all so much better without. It does hurt at the time of the ghosting but once you're through it, you realize that it's best to get them out of your life as soon as possible else you ran the risk of them showing their true colors at an even worse time.
Isaac Huntoon 3 years ago
A high school friend of mine (who is great and I'm still friends with) was getting married and invited our entire friend group of a decade to the wedding. I was also attending with my fiancée. When we arrived, they didn't even bother to get to know her and barely caught up with me after years of ghosting/barely acknowledging I even existed. What pushed it over the edge was when one of them kept messing with my fiancée by playing with her hair and hitting her on the back of the head before walking away without saying anything or apologizing. Needless to say, they lost my friendship and were definitely not invited to my own wedding. They made a night that was supposed to be about celebrating our mutual friend absolutely awkward and made me question whether or not they ever truly cared about me.
#27
I came back from six months of travelling all around the world. Second night back, I organised to hang out, had brought them presents, souvenirs and wanted to get drunk on a massive bottle of Saki I'd got from Japan and have a proper catch up.
Instead, they wanted to meet at 2am to smoke weed in the park and then instantly all go home. I decided I wouldn't message any of them until they messaged me after that, three years later and I've never heard a peep.
Minath 3 years ago
A while back I realised that I was always the first to text this one friend so I decided to see how long it would be before she text me. That was nine years ago and I found that actually my life was better without her.
Ansi 3 years ago
That's so sad. I hope you have new friends that knows how lovely you are and makes you happy when you think about them. ❤️
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Lene 3 years ago
About 15 years back or so I realised that most of the ppl I considered my friends never actually texted me first or asked me to hang out so I did a little experiment and stopped texting them. And that's how I shortened my contacts -list by ca 20 people in just about 2 months. I'd still say hello and small talk with these ppl when I met them. But wow my list of people to talk with got short. Like.... it suddenly consisted of my mum. Who's very toxic to me. So.... 😬 but after a while I found a few new friends and I also really started to embrace the fact that I'm an introvert. 😊 I now feel like I had to let go of all those people in order to find room in me to be me as much as I can. :)
Mora Chilis 3 years ago
You changed, they did not. Your mind opened to the vastness of the world. They stayed in their small part of the world. You out grew them. That's all.
#28
When one told me I should try harder to be well to be happy for them, and having me depressed was "sad" and not "fun" I was hiding self harm and very dark thoughts from them, and couldn't afford therapy.
KiT 3 years ago
Thing is, most people don't know how to handle others' mental health problems, especially if they can't relate or don't really know what's going on. Unless their approach is really off, it can perhaps help to be more open about what's really going on. The true friends will quickly show, the same goes for false ones.
Ansi 3 years ago
The trickey thing (or so I've found) is that the person struggeling might not know themself how they need to be met in the best way. Or it can be different for different days. 😪 Hope everyone reading this have live and support!
Load More Replies... Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
Hammered constantly with "others have it so much worse! Check your privilege!" Thanks for adding to my deep feelings of guilt and worthlessness, assholes.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
That is literally the most toxic phrase ever! I know I’m privileged and others have it worse, but the phrase downgrades your problems and makes it harder to get the help you need!
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Cat Palmer 3 years ago
As someone who has long-term depression, I can confirm that they are at least right that it's not fun, and sadly having to deal with idiotic comments is one of the lesser-known effects of the illness.
#29
When she made out with a rando stranger right next to me on an airplane (for like, an hour) WHILST she was in a serious relationship with one of my best friends from high school.
Once we were back on land, I texted my hs friend and told him that she cheated on him, and I immediately friend-dumped the cheater. (She was genuinely shocked that I told him, like she expected me to just be chill with her cheating on a bro).
This was really the straw that broke the camels back-- the cheater was a real narcissist and her behavior had been getting on my nerves for a while by that point, especially the way she'd been emotionally abusing my buddy in the months leading up to this.
My hs friend was devastated at the time, but it's been a few years and he's a lot happier now.
#30
When they ganged up on one of them over her changed behaviour due to her depression. She had been very happy-go-lucky, but fell into a deep depression and completely changed. Teenage girls are the worst
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Hell no. For a good chunk of highschool I didn't interact with *anyone* in my class because 90% of the other teenagers were so two-faced and nasty.
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Richard Anderson 3 years ago
They should have sent teenage girls for bin Laden, they would have gotten him a lot quicker.
#31
When they prioritised drugs over loyalty and began to steal from me to financially support their habit. F**k those guys.
Ranger Kanootsen 3 years ago
Yeah, they really do. I've known people who do drugs, and they often tried to play on my loyalty to them in order to get my money. I feel really sad for them, but I can't fix them.
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Whitefox 3 years ago
I had a friend that was on top of the world. She had a great job, earned a great income had benefits and a retirement. I got divorced from a bad situation and she followed suit in hers. She asked me for advice and I told her what I was doing: Renting a room in a house and saving as much money as I could. Finding myself and what makes me happy. Following my hobbies and doing what makes me genuinely happy, not looking for a relationship because I was in one for 13 years and needed some time to find myself. She ended up involved with a guy who got her back into meth. Her whole life spiraled out of control. She wanted to move in with me, but she had been bragging about her friends robbing her dad to buy drugs. Why would I want that at my house?? I keep putting her off. Last I heard she was living in a shed in mid state. I feel bad for her, but every attempt to help is met with stubbornness.
Meredith 3 years ago
Addiction is a M**o. I agree with cutting them off but out of empathy rather than spite. Hope they hit rock bottom and realize they need help. I had a friend in the late 90's I stupidly "loaned" $400 for his "car insurance." He showed up at my job and I wrote him a check. He took it to a check cashing place and they called me asking if I'd written him the check. Still not connecting the dots, hit me like 5 minutes later. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. I wanted to believe in him. I hadn't been around many addicts at that time. Flash forward 12'ish years and I get a message on Facebook. He said he had always hated himself for doing that and he wanted to make amends. I'd forgiven him, told him it wasn't necessary and I was just glad he was sober and has his life back on track. A week or so goes by and I checked the mail to find $400. The timing couldn't have been better because my phone had taken a swim the night before. He's relapsed a few times and I've lost track again.
#32
Some people have told me it wasn't a big deal but it was to me. She went after the woman i had a thing for and i was already pursuing. She knew I had a thing for this woman. I told her how much I liked this person. My friend knew how strongly I felt and what made it worse was she was being supportive to my face and gave me the courage to finally go for what i wanted but never had the confidence to do before. but then she tried to get with this woman behind my back. She said "it's whoever gets there first" when I found out. Wtf.
I always felt like that was just something you don't do to friends anyway, whether it's behind your back or they're being obvious about it. It's a line you're not supposed to cross. I felt betrayed and disrespected. I did end up dating the woman and we were together for 2 years. So there's that. But I cut ties with my friend.
Rick Hoppenbrouwer 3 years ago
It seems people these days don't have any problems crossing those lines anymore.
Crazy catz 3 years ago
I'm sorry, I'd of rubbed it in the ex friends face, yes, the best person did win her heart
Pizzagirl 91 3 years ago
On a similar topic: My best friend has a crush on the best friend of someone who has a crush on her. We keep discussing if she is "allowed" to pursue her crush. She thinks she'd be an a**hole to go after someone whose best friend likes her, I think it would be stupid to pass on a chance for happiness. She's not really been with someone for years after her boyfriend of 6 years dumped her, and this is the first time she's actually had a crush since being with that ex. I feel it would be different if the best friend started the advances, but if it's her who's interested...?
Krzysztof Sierszeń 3 years ago
Sorry to blow your bubble but, what 'line' was that, exactly? As painful as those matters may be, you don't get to call dibs on people. That's childish. Between you telling your friend how you felt and her trying to get with this woman was a window of opportunity you chose to ignore. Also, if she had originally had feelings for this woman but chose not to tell you, you put her in an impossible position.
#33
A classmate told me my 'friend' was saying some weird stuff behind my back. I didn't believe it and she told me to lock myself into the bathroom stall and to listen.
She managed to get her to talk about me and what I heard wasn't nice at all.
She called me some names and said that she didn't like me at all, she was just pretending to. Sadly I didn't drop her immediately. Was friend with her for a good year after that. She just got worse. Eventually dropped her.
Lalicia Kaline 3 years ago
Honestly same thing happened to me but it was a group of girls I thought were my friends... The classmate that told me became one of my close friends and even introduced me to my current friend group!
#34
When they stopped being my friends after I went through a rough financial patch.
#35
After I realised that other people don't s**t on each other on every possible occasion in their circle. And that it isn't right when a "friend" uses every known insecurity as an argument against you when you do not behave the way he/she would want you to.
Mrs. Jan Glass 3 years ago
Lather, rinse, repeat. It took me too long to learn this. If they dish it out but can't take it, you aren't friends. You're their butt-monkey.
Huddo's sister 3 years ago
This was what my sister's high school 'best friend' was like, plus guilt trips. I told her for years she wasn't being a friend, but she wouldn't listen because 'then she (the bff) would have no friends'. I wonder what was driving everyone else away? She finally made the break 18 months ago but has to see her still because parents are friends and she is part of the same Rover Scouts group, but she is just saying the bare minimum to her when she has to.
#36
When I became depressed, when I reached out, the first thing they did was tell me off for being depressed (more like full on yelling), then stopped talking to me over time.
Stephanie Did It 3 years ago
I went through an emotional breakdown after a serious illness, a divorce and losing my job due to health issues all within a year. My former co-worker and "dear friend" across the US from me kept calling to 'check on me' (I think she was more interested in the drama aspect) and when I was unable to respond for a week due to crushing trauma, she called my daughter and told her if I wasn't going to give her updates on my situation, then she wasn't going to waste her time on me. That was 10 years ago and it still hurts.
Ansi 3 years ago
That's absolutly horrible behaviour of her! 😲 It must absolutly still hurt being wounded like that. ❤️ I hope you have been able to gather up all the different pieces that felled and gotten over that sad period and trauma. It must have been so hard on you.
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Charles Chamiux 3 years ago
What confuses me is that we're told to ask for help when we need it, but then get told off or are ignored when we ask for help.
robin aldrich 3 years ago
This seems to be a common problem... we as friends don't know how to support our friends who are having mental health issues ....we need to get past that.
Ogidi Girl 3 years ago (edited)
Yes this. I think people with mental issues may also not realiy understand how difficult it may be for another person to understand what is happening.
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#37
when i was suicidel and no one cared enough to try help me just left me too it one even said why attempt to stop you if youre gonna do it ,Do it .
Ansi 3 years ago
Okay, don't downvote me for this... but what the f*****g hell is wrong with people!! Saying that or other harsh thing so someone struggeling!! 😡🤬 I feel horrible for thinking it, but a little piece of me wants those assholes to feel how it is to feel that bad, so they can learn and be better friends and people.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
Because people who don't understand mental illness are sometimes afraid of saying the wrong thing when a friend is in a crisis and so they often say nothing. Sometimes the best thing is to say "How can I help?" -- but that commits you to actually helping, and if you aren't really good friends with the person, its easier just to stay away.
Load More Replies... #38
when they started to smoke and drink alcohol as kids. they were obsessed trying to pretend they were gangster and s**t and then as they got older they started to rob and do drugs.
another one, i didnt see it at the time but they only wanted to be with me because i was the "rich" kid of the block. so they took advantage of that, i payed for the arcades, food or we played often at my house since i had a video game console and they didnt, but when i wanted to play at their house they would refuse every single time.
Debbie 3 years ago
About the last part: Refusing to go play at their house could have lots of reasons - being really poor / ashamed /abuse are some things that come to mind.
IDK_Something 3 years ago
Absolutely agree!! I was always *that* friend. I once had a "friend" bully me into playing at my house. We had little food and scant furniture, but we had what we needed. She decided we weren't friends after that and told everyone she could how poor my family was.
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Mattewis88 3 years ago
I remember dodging mates wanting to come over for most of High school because we lived in a double-garage with minimal things. That could be the explanation.
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
There are waaaay too many people being used as walking wallets.
#39
One of them found me crying in the closet and just closed it and walked away. But they also often hung out without me that was just the final nail.
Ansi 3 years ago (edited)
Wow. That's really harsh. Sometimes closeness is all that's needed. Go in, shut the door again and just hold them.
Ddie 3 years ago
I had a similar thing happen to me, I was crying alone in my friends room at a party. My friend that I thought hated me opened the door, saw me and left. Came back a few minutes later with my stuff and a glass of ice water, she just sat there and hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder. She’s now the loml <3
John Smith 3 years ago
I once found a girl sat on her own in a park, I was walking through on my way home from work. She looks so sad, I asked if she was ok and she just shook her head, I asked if she wanted some help and she nodded, so I say down next to her and she just broke down completely on my shoulder. I wasn't sure what to do so I texted a couple of my female friends and they came to help me out with her. I didn't want people to think the huge guy was up to something bad. Turns out she had found her boyfriend screwing her best friend a few hours after proposing to her.
Ansi 3 years ago
You are my hero of today. ❤️ That's really cute calling your friends and it sounds like a good decision. 😀👍
Load More Replies... #40
I would like to know the other side to a few of these stories.
Final score:
71points
Lady Goldberry (Submission author) 3 years ago
Whoops, thought I was making a comment here, not adding to a list!
Ranger Kanootsen 3 years ago
All good, Lady Goldberry! I make that mistake too.
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Seedy Vine 3 years ago (edited)
I especially wanna know about those groups of friends who suddenly decide to ditch another person, what really happened? Did that person do or say something awful that the rest of them couldn't find the courage to confront? So curious...
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Deidre Lippnik 3 years ago
If your tye submission author cant you just delete that post and then just add that "comment" into a post
Eurico Rato 3 years ago
Me too. It's weird when lots of friends react the same way and they're all bad persons while the one who tells the story never did anything bad
#41
A friend never had much money but that was OK. Gave him a lift home from a hospital appointment, about 40 miles, no problem. Came a time I needed a lift home from A & E, maybe 5 miles, he asked for petrol money. A dim little light came on.
General Anaesthesia 3 years ago
Am I missing something, is there more to the story? Friend never had much money, so asking for petrol money isn't that strange to me. Those are extra kilometers/miles for him.
Laugh or not 3 years ago
If someone drives you 40 miles, you don't ask for money for 5 miles. Or next time you need a driver, you get a taxi.
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Emma Whittaker 3 years ago
I'm struggling with this one. It's good for you if you could afford the fuel to drive 40miles without needing to ask for money, but if your friend has no spare cash , which you were aware of, then why surprised that they asked for money ? ..if he's skint then he's skint
Felice Coles 3 years ago
Measuring a friendship by money is always a bad sign.
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Simspyder40 3 years ago
Maybe they really didn't have gas. That was likely just enough for the ride. Would it have been better for them to say no?
#42
A couple things. About three years ago i sold them my pc, monitor and desk for $800. They only gave me $400 and when i asked about it recently (they brought up having to sell it) i told them they still haven’t paid me for it entirely and they basically said they never will. I only ever get invited to big parties where all of their friends (none of which i know) attend. I end up in the corner by myself every single time. They have weekly hangouts with friends and often go to shows/camping/trips with other friends that I’m never even considered being invited to. I struggle a lot with mental health issues and every time I’ve messaged them saying I’m struggling/ want to kill myself they say s**t like “idk i feel like everyone feels like that sometimes u kinda just gotta work through it.” Then proceed to talk about themselves and how broke they are (they’re terrible with money). We’ve been friends for nearly ten years but i feel like we’re not even friends at all anymore. I haven’t cut them off yet bc i quite literally have no one else and have zero social skills to make new friends.
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
Cut them off. You will definitely feel better. And you can make friends. If you’re feeling lonely you can consider getting a pet, like a dog or something. That made it better for me.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago (edited)
I mean...with this one, the "every time I’ve messaged them saying I’m struggling/ want to kill myself" bit...unless we are lucky, our friends are not mental health experts. It can be a lot to expect a person to just know the right thing to say to something like this, it's pretty huge! And if you're constantly saying it, well... Obviously the whole PC thing is completely out of order.
Minath 3 years ago
Compassion fatigue is a thing and friends sometimes just reach the point where they just can't deal with an extremely depressed friend anymore. However, there are nicer ways to go about things though.
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Paddling Panda 3 years ago
You have friends here. I know it's not the same as having in-person friends but I know we're a really good support system for each other. Many of us have experienced clinical depression, suicidal ideation, etc., and some of us have tried to take our own lives. We understand and can and will support you. Do you have a good doctor you can talk to so you can get some professional support especially as you ditch this toxic group of friends and embark on your journey to self-love and healthier friendships?
Hobby Hopper 3 years ago
I had a "friend" borrow $500 to buy something he needed, which was supposed to be paid back as soon as he got his paycheck. I never saw that money. I wish I could say it was the first clue I had that he might not actually be the good guy he pretended to be. Shame on me, I guess, but 20 years later, it still makes me mad. I just have to remind myself that over my lifetime, people have helped me out a lot, and if you added it all up, it'd probably make $500 look like pocket change.
Kat Lyle 3 years ago
Find a support group of likeminded people struggling - those people will listen and become your friends. You might not realise this, but those people you are with now are actually compounding your feelings. They are not your real friends. Good luck, it's a hard journey.
Lorraine R 3 years ago
Contact NAMI -- the National Alliance On Mental Illness. 800-950-6264, or call or text the crisis hotline 988.
Load More Replies... Deidre Goodluck 3 years ago
This might be an unpopular opinion but is unfair to friends or anyone who is not someone paid to deal with mental health issues to expect them to take these sorts of issues on. Seriously, if you're thinking of killing yourself contact a professional and go and get help. Your friends can't help you and it's not fair to them to expect them to deal with your mental health issues.
#43
When my 3 friends made fun of me for not having the money to go on a camping trip for a week.
I was just coming back from a month long unpaid vacation and needed to get back to work. I had less than $100.
We had gone on this same camping trip twice and it never cost as much as they were claiming everyone had to pay this time around. I didn’t have the $500 to go and I let them know well in advance. The day before I was due to fly home, I got a text from my friend who was planning the camping trip telling me when it was, in 2 days, and how much it was going to cost.
The things she said to me are things I would never say even to someone I hate. They never let it go either. I literally lost my 3 best friends due to a camping trip.
Edit:
This was at the height of Twlight (I know, I know) and we were going camping up in Forks. It is absolutely gorgeous up there so we enjoyed the scenery more than anything.
Helen X 3 years ago
Sounds like they needed you to be able to pay for the entire 4 people camping weekend. Like, dividing the amount by four, you were needed bc otherwise they couldn’t make it work. When you said you didn’t have the money, maybe their camping trip couldn’t go through as well.
L Venn 3 years ago
He let them know in advance that he couldn't come, so they should have made a different plan if they couldn't afford it.
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Jake B 3 years ago
I had a group of friends back when who decided to go to Disney World. I could barely make rent. One of them was a roommate of mine who paid less than their share of rent. They came back and said roommate announced they were moving in three months to another city with their sibling. I realized at that moment it was about money. I found a cheap apartment and moved out immediately. They had to move home to their parents house as they couldn’t afford the place on their own. Said ex friend only invited me to anything after if they wanted money (always selling something). They even married their current spouse due to their money. So glad I dumped them. Some friends are not friends but toxic wasteland.
Nightshade1972 3 years ago (edited)
There was a Not Always Right story about four friends who liked to go on a week-long vacation every year. Every year, it would fall on a different friend to select several vacation spots, then all of them (or at least a majority) would decide which of those spots sounded good to them. All four of them would split the cost of the trip equally. One year, Friend 1 asks if he can bring Friend 2 (not part of the original four). The other three guys say, "Fine, as long as Friend 2 understands he needs to pay his share of the trip." Come the day of the trip, and Friend 2 doesn't have any money. Friend 1 ends up needing to cover 2's expenses for the whole trip. Each time something involving money comes up, 2 is increasingly annoyed that they have the "nerve" to ask a "guest" to contribute to the expenses. At the end of the trip, Friend 1 apologizes profusely to the group for 2's behavior. 2 decides it's a great idea to go all over social media whining (part 1)
Nightshade1972 3 years ago
...about how the group was "selfish" enough to "refuse" to cover his expenses. He's somehow surprised when nobody in the group actually misses him when he "refuses" to hang out with them anymore.
Load More Replies... #44
When they told the whole class about which girl i had a crush on and then started bullying me.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 3 years ago
Recently? If you don't mind sharing that is
Load More Replies... #45
When we went on a trip to America and a day before coming home he mentioned that he only could afford a one way trip so could we help him pay for his return flight. This was back in the early 2000s when flights were only around £400. He’s the guy who’ll organise a meal knowing he can’t afford it. He only gets away with it because he’s funny.
Mora Chilis 3 years ago
Yes, there are people like this. Show up to lunch, then have no money.
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
Got I hate those people. I mean, you feel so bad you don't want to say no
#46
We used to be a group of 4 BFF until the day one of my friends wanted to bring along another girl to hang out with us. I didn't like her very much bc she was known to have this habit of breaking couples (if she heard that X and Y were having a hard time in their relationship,she'd go with all her kindness to try to "make things right" by flirting and hooking up with the boyfriend) and honestly she was a total two-faced snake who spent her time talking s**t behind people's back and then playing nice. I really can't stand hypocrisy but for the sake of my friendships I tried to make an effort. God I lasted like 15min with her and then left the group saying that we'd see each other at school. Next morning my friends are there with the girl and some other people from our class,I went to say hello and kiss everyone even the girl and then I spotted my friends and her exchanging glances and they started to laugh. No need to be a genius to get that after I left,they told the girl that I didn't like her and that me saying hello despite of that made me the two-faced one. Friendship ended,new group of 4 hypocrites unlocked.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
But this OP had obviously bitched about the 5th girl to the others...maybe some introspection is needed here.
Gwen Johnsonb 3 years ago
"Obviously "? How did you come to that conclusion?
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Huddo's sister 3 years ago
Sad thing is the amount of people who let them go well past high school
Load More Replies... #47
When I just asked if anyone wanted to play and he told me to kms and I was a fat loser all I said was anyone wanna play?
IFailedSuccessfully(He/they) 3 years ago
Had some guys try to hit on me in an online game (they were like 5 where are these kid's parents??)
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#48
When I realized I was her last close friend left. Shortly thereafter I started to open my eyes and understand why that was the case.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
Some people are very good at self-destruction, especially through a refusal or inability to learn from mistakes.
Emerald Ocean 3 years ago
Yup. Going through that now with a narcissist who has successfully hurt my relationships with all other friends
#49
Was dared to run down the hall of our hotel butt naked. They locked the door and I had to stand outside and hold my junk whilst the poor woman who worked at the front desk let me back into my room. Funny now, I was pissed at the time.
Wondering Alice 3 years ago
To be fair, if you think it's funny to run down a hall naked, I can imagine you would have the type of friends who think it's funny to lock you out.
Down With Agent Hedgehog! 3 years ago
My freakin’ friends (I’m a girl) dared some of us to run around in a hotel wearing ninja turtle pjs with those huge backpack-thingies. Plus they dyed it PINK. we were nearly throw out of the place by the staff
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Being humiliated in a hotel by "friends" is funny? You're a f*cked up as they are.
#50
We were in highschool. My mom is a psychologist, and has a nice office near where we went to highschool. One day i envited my friends to the office to have whisky and cigars. I told them the place had to stay as clean and neat as it was, so we don't get caught.
One of them puked in the corner, and they put the couch against the bathroom door while i was in there breaking one leg of the couch and trapping me in.
I'm not friends with these people any more.
My current friend group is really nice, and i'm really happy.
hot foot mask 3 years ago (edited)
pretty sure you're the one who got yourself into that situation. honestly, what do you expect when you put a bunch of drunk teens in a room that has to stay clean & neat? YOU are the one who invited THEM into that room to partake in a very strong drink considering the ages. not their fault you took that risk. learn to accept some responsibility, why don't you?
Lea S. 3 years ago
It was definitely a bad decision. But them locking him in the bathroom and destroying s**t? I mean....I did a lot of college/highschool partying and that didn't happen once at any of them. You're acting like it's unavoidable. The people responsible for that choice are the ones who did it....
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General Anaesthesia 3 years ago
Am I a bad person? My first thought was "instant karma" on the puke. My second thought was "instant karma" on the couch. You were not a gem and had the friends you attracted.
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
Yeah that sounds like it's your fault as much as theirs, maybe even more your fault.
Nightshade1972 3 years ago
Sorry, but I agree with hot foot mask. This is mostly on you. Why would you think that your mother's professional office space would be a good place to hang out?! Whatever punishment your mother gave you, you deserved.
#51
My husband got cancer. When my friends found out about it, they stopped contacting me. Now he's dead and they still don't call.
Final score:
10points
#52
I would like to know the other side to some of these stories.
Final score:
8points
Lady Goldberry (Submission author) 3 years ago
And this is cos the other one didn't post! Darn you to heck, BP!!!!
Ansi 3 years ago
That's good. 👍 Sometimes I feel kind of stupid for upvoting things just to level out the downvotes so people don't get banned. I'm happy to find out I'm bot the only one being this "corny". 😀😉😉
Load More Replies... What do you think ?
hot foot mask 3 years ago (edited)
best long-distance friend for many years had me trapped in an abusive relationship where i couldn't leave because they would threaten suicide & told me i was the only person they could rely on, despite them having a boyfriend. stayed up almost 24/7 so i could always be there for them, especially when their boyfriend was at work. they got sexual, said they & their boyfriend wanted to do very graphic things to me. i was practically trained to talk dirty to them whenever they wanted, even though it made me uncomfortable, just because i was scared of what would happen if they were unhappy. eventually cut things off when they wanted me to meet them & their boyfriend in a hotel outside of my state. they wanted to lure me to unfamiliar territory to rape me or worse, & looking back im sure most, if not all, of the good parts of our friendship that made me want to stay were lies to gaslight me into thinking i would be safe with someone who "loves me." the 15th of august marks 2 years free of them. still suffering ptsd from the years of abuse & manipulation.
Himory TheDreamer 3 years ago
That's the fist time I heard of someone else going through long distance abusive friendship. It wasn't as bad as in no sexual thing happened, but he'd do the same thing trapping me with threats of suicide and emotional manipulation, I'd feel guilty having to leave the computer to use the restroom, stopped showering and doing stuff I enjoyed because I needed to be there 24/7.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 3 years ago
I posted this in a previous article, but last September I should have died. Not could have, Should have. I had a viral infection that lead to organ failure, including my pancreas. That caused my blood sugar to spike off the charts, literally. The meter readers in the hospital couldn't even give a number it was so high. (They would later tell me that the lab they sent bloodwork too had never seen anyone's blood sugar that high. Mostly because everyone died before it could get to that point). That in turn lead to severe dehydration. You know how they say the longer you wait in the ER the more likely you are to be ok, because you can afford to wait? I didn't even wait a minute. Straight in and to a room. They told me I was in the worst condition of anyone they saw that day, and another hour and I definitely would have died. Nor were they sure that I was going to make it. I spent about a week in the ICU. And not a single one of my friends visited me.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Guess it was the wrong time to make a Doctor Strange reference. I'm sorry.
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NY Redneck 3 years ago
Put this on Reddit but think I was too late to make the cut. Leaving a bar one night, friend was driving. Look at a parked car as we're pulling out and see a girl being assaulted in the front seat, waving her arm and yelling for help. I tell him to stop and he says "Not my business", just like that. I was just stunned at the coldness as he said it. I did a tuck and roll out of his car at about 15mph (luckily we had just pulled out and there was a red light about 30ft ahead, but wasn't sure how much longer it would stay red) and ended up with some mean road rash and a fractured rib, but I dragged the piece of c**p out of the car and off of that girl just in time to stop him from raping her. My "friend" no where to be seen, a$$hole kept driving and haven't spoken to him sense. Girl was shaken but ok considering what could have happened and I ended up calling a cab home.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
OH MY GOD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU that broken rib saved a broken human :( f**k that a*****e friend
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Eline 3 years ago
2015 was a tough year for me. My grandpa died, and he was someone really important to me. For months, i cried, and still miss him nowadays. So, i spoke about it with a friend. Let's call him "Zac". He listened. Then, he looked at me, and seriously, said "okay. Very hard indeed. Well, how are you gonna pay me for my kindness?". It was not a joke. He asked me to pay him something like 100 € (i'm french). Or to have sex with him. I refused. And then, he sent me messages everydays, asking the same thing, and sometimes, calling me a bi**h. I was scared of meeting him every morning, as he took often the same bus as me. I had panick attack when i saw someone who looked like him. For 2 years and a half, he insulted me, asked me to sleep with him, and gave me "compliments" about my body. I was terrified and felt like a bi**h. I hated myself. Sorry for my little level in english. Take care, everyone !
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
Your English is fine :) so sorry that had to happen to you!
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Rob Chapman 3 years ago
I caught my best friend of 30 years watching child porn. We are no longer fiends. last I heard he was in a convalescent home.
Falcon on Dizzy 3 years ago
one of my old friends legit sexually assaulted my best friend AT SCHOOL and tried to blow it off. my best friend got something that doesn't let the two talk to or about each other, I forget the name. Old friend then constantly breaks the agreement for the rest of the year. has to be the worst person I've ever known
Donkey Pandaaaaaaaa 3 years ago
I had a friend in primary school. She was HORRIBLE. So, when we started out being friends she was nice and we were almost inseparable. Then, she started looking annoyed when I tried to talk to her, then when I went away she looked happy with her other friends. Then, whenever I hung out with by other friends she wouldn’t talk to me for like 3 weeks straight. It’s about two months to the end of the year now. I had kind of given up with the toxic friend, so I started looking for some new friends. I started hanging out with one of her friends, and she didn’t like that. She started spreading rumours about me and getting everyone in the class on her side. Once, when I was really stressed, I started to cry because I was stressed and all of my friends were on her side and no-one was listening to me, she made HERSELF cry so she would get all of the attention. I still haven’t forgiven her for making a quarter of the school year HELL. Thanks a lot, Phoebe.
IFailedSuccessfully(He/they) 3 years ago
All these name reveals are badass. High five ✋
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asexualotl (she/her) 3 years ago
when she completely stopped talking to me (ditching me without a single word) and started being friends with people who had bullied me a year before. i considered trying to make friends with her again but then i decided against it.
SydneyP 3 years ago
I've posted this once before but it still blows my mind. Last February my dad was very sick. I texted my "bestie" to let her know. I never heard back from her. He passed away March 6th of last year. I still haven't heard from her. Nothing took place to end our friendship. There was no disagreements or anything of the sort. She just obviously didn't value our friendship like I did. To make myself feel better I did text her one last time to explain how I felt then wished her the very best. I have no hard feelings but I really have no feelings at all concerning her. The way I see it if someone doesn't value me as a friend then why should I concern myself? There's wonderful people out there. We just have to weed out the bad ones.
hot foot mask 3 years ago (edited)
best long-distance friend for many years had me trapped in an abusive relationship where i couldn't leave because they would threaten suicide & told me i was the only person they could rely on, despite them having a boyfriend. stayed up almost 24/7 so i could always be there for them, especially when their boyfriend was at work. they got sexual, said they & their boyfriend wanted to do very graphic things to me. i was practically trained to talk dirty to them whenever they wanted, even though it made me uncomfortable, just because i was scared of what would happen if they were unhappy. eventually cut things off when they wanted me to meet them & their boyfriend in a hotel outside of my state. they wanted to lure me to unfamiliar territory to rape me or worse, & looking back im sure most, if not all, of the good parts of our friendship that made me want to stay were lies to gaslight me into thinking i would be safe with someone who "loves me." the 15th of august marks 2 years free of them. still suffering ptsd from the years of abuse & manipulation.
Himory TheDreamer 3 years ago
That's the fist time I heard of someone else going through long distance abusive friendship. It wasn't as bad as in no sexual thing happened, but he'd do the same thing trapping me with threats of suicide and emotional manipulation, I'd feel guilty having to leave the computer to use the restroom, stopped showering and doing stuff I enjoyed because I needed to be there 24/7.
Load More Replies... Doctor Strange 3 years ago
I posted this in a previous article, but last September I should have died. Not could have, Should have. I had a viral infection that lead to organ failure, including my pancreas. That caused my blood sugar to spike off the charts, literally. The meter readers in the hospital couldn't even give a number it was so high. (They would later tell me that the lab they sent bloodwork too had never seen anyone's blood sugar that high. Mostly because everyone died before it could get to that point). That in turn lead to severe dehydration. You know how they say the longer you wait in the ER the more likely you are to be ok, because you can afford to wait? I didn't even wait a minute. Straight in and to a room. They told me I was in the worst condition of anyone they saw that day, and another hour and I definitely would have died. Nor were they sure that I was going to make it. I spent about a week in the ICU. And not a single one of my friends visited me.
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
Guess it was the wrong time to make a Doctor Strange reference. I'm sorry.
Load More Replies... NY Redneck 3 years ago
Put this on Reddit but think I was too late to make the cut. Leaving a bar one night, friend was driving. Look at a parked car as we're pulling out and see a girl being assaulted in the front seat, waving her arm and yelling for help. I tell him to stop and he says "Not my business", just like that. I was just stunned at the coldness as he said it. I did a tuck and roll out of his car at about 15mph (luckily we had just pulled out and there was a red light about 30ft ahead, but wasn't sure how much longer it would stay red) and ended up with some mean road rash and a fractured rib, but I dragged the piece of c**p out of the car and off of that girl just in time to stop him from raping her. My "friend" no where to be seen, a$$hole kept driving and haven't spoken to him sense. Girl was shaken but ok considering what could have happened and I ended up calling a cab home.
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
OH MY GOD THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU that broken rib saved a broken human :( f**k that a*****e friend
Load More Replies... Eline 3 years ago
2015 was a tough year for me. My grandpa died, and he was someone really important to me. For months, i cried, and still miss him nowadays. So, i spoke about it with a friend. Let's call him "Zac". He listened. Then, he looked at me, and seriously, said "okay. Very hard indeed. Well, how are you gonna pay me for my kindness?". It was not a joke. He asked me to pay him something like 100 € (i'm french). Or to have sex with him. I refused. And then, he sent me messages everydays, asking the same thing, and sometimes, calling me a bi**h. I was scared of meeting him every morning, as he took often the same bus as me. I had panick attack when i saw someone who looked like him. For 2 years and a half, he insulted me, asked me to sleep with him, and gave me "compliments" about my body. I was terrified and felt like a bi**h. I hated myself. Sorry for my little level in english. Take care, everyone !
ThatBiBookLover 3 years ago
Your English is fine :) so sorry that had to happen to you!
Load More Replies... Rob Chapman 3 years ago
I caught my best friend of 30 years watching child porn. We are no longer fiends. last I heard he was in a convalescent home.
Falcon on Dizzy 3 years ago
one of my old friends legit sexually assaulted my best friend AT SCHOOL and tried to blow it off. my best friend got something that doesn't let the two talk to or about each other, I forget the name. Old friend then constantly breaks the agreement for the rest of the year. has to be the worst person I've ever known
Donkey Pandaaaaaaaa 3 years ago
I had a friend in primary school. She was HORRIBLE. So, when we started out being friends she was nice and we were almost inseparable. Then, she started looking annoyed when I tried to talk to her, then when I went away she looked happy with her other friends. Then, whenever I hung out with by other friends she wouldn’t talk to me for like 3 weeks straight. It’s about two months to the end of the year now. I had kind of given up with the toxic friend, so I started looking for some new friends. I started hanging out with one of her friends, and she didn’t like that. She started spreading rumours about me and getting everyone in the class on her side. Once, when I was really stressed, I started to cry because I was stressed and all of my friends were on her side and no-one was listening to me, she made HERSELF cry so she would get all of the attention. I still haven’t forgiven her for making a quarter of the school year HELL. Thanks a lot, Phoebe.
IFailedSuccessfully(He/they) 3 years ago
All these name reveals are badass. High five ✋
Load More Replies... asexualotl (she/her) 3 years ago
when she completely stopped talking to me (ditching me without a single word) and started being friends with people who had bullied me a year before. i considered trying to make friends with her again but then i decided against it.
SydneyP 3 years ago
I've posted this once before but it still blows my mind. Last February my dad was very sick. I texted my "bestie" to let her know. I never heard back from her. He passed away March 6th of last year. I still haven't heard from her. Nothing took place to end our friendship. There was no disagreements or anything of the sort. She just obviously didn't value our friendship like I did. To make myself feel better I did text her one last time to explain how I felt then wished her the very best. I have no hard feelings but I really have no feelings at all concerning her. The way I see it if someone doesn't value me as a friend then why should I concern myself? There's wonderful people out there. We just have to weed out the bad ones.
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