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30 Heartbreaking Moments People Realized Their Friends Were Not Who They Thought They Were
They say you'll discover who your true friends are when life throws challenges your way. Yet, at times, these challenges aren't even necessary. For instance, one lady's 'bestie' moved in with her boyfriend... Talk about real friendship here.
We've gathered stories of some absurd situations from X thread, where people realized that some friends weren't really true or even hated them. So sit back, take a look, and when you're done, send a heartfelt message to that one friend you can always count on.
Image credits: bontlendlovu__
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Families are important to many people, and so are friends. Surprisingly, a study from 2017 in the journal Personal Relationships suggested that, especially for older adults' happiness and health, friendships might matter more than family ties. But to truly be happy and healthy, you need real friends, not those who pretend to care about you.
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Fake friends are the ones who only act like friends but don't genuinely care about your well-being or what's best for you. Clinical psychologist Aishwarya Raj, based in Gurugram, explains that fake friends can be insincere, opportunistic, or just interested in what they can get from the friendship.
Figuring out someone is fake often happens when an important event occurs in your life, one that shakes your stability. People who are thriving, happy, and successful are more likely to attract fake friends, as some people may secretly wish for their downfall and want to be part of it.
When you have a setback, these insincere people tend to gradually fade away, leaving you with few or no friends, except for those who stood by you during your difficult times, when you were struggling. It's during these times that fake friends reveal their true colors, as they change their behavior towards you, making their insincerity apparent.
Fake friends may resort to taunting when you're down because they know it hurts you. They taunt and wear a smile, singling you out and making you feel insignificant, as if you don't deserve to recover and regain your footing.
#13
While you may tend to see the best in people, it's also valuable to be aware of indicators that can help you spot fake friends. Here are some telltale signs of fake friendships:
- Fake friends aren't very interested in your life, feelings, or problems. They tend to focus on themselves, making it all about "me, myself, and I."
- Fake friends only reach out when they need something from you, and when you need support, they won't answer calls or respond to messages.
#18
Lucy James 2 years ago
Here, if you didn't know what she meant, because I had no idea: "Unveiling is the name for the ceremonial dedication of the memorial marker or headstone at the grave of a loved one."
More signs your friend might be fake include:
- They might feel envious or jealous of your accomplishments and instead of celebrating your success, they try to compete with you.
- Fake friends might spill your secrets even when you've asked them to keep it confidential. They might gossip about you or betray your trust.
- They don't make an effort to keep the friendship alive, often cancel plans, or prioritize others over you
Identifying a fake friend can be tough, but here are some straightforward strategies to deal with them:
- If something doesn't feel right in the friendship, listen to your instincts.
- Tell them what you need from the friendship and watch how they respond.
- If they consistently let you down, talk to them about what's bothering you. Be ready for them to get defensive or deny their behavior.
- Make your boundaries clear, and don't offer help or favors unless things change.
#24
EmbersAreOut 2 years ago
Oh i feel this. I was (am) in college at 14/15, and i made one friend last year. she was super nice to me, and even invited me to her birthday party. At that part, i learned that she was forced into inviting me because of her parents, and she did everthing she could to have me not talk to her other friends. It hurt, badly.
More ways to deal with fake friends:
- If they keep disrespecting you, be prepared to distance yourself. It's okay to put your happiness and well-being first.
- Talk to trusted friends or family about your feelings, and consider professional help if you're struggling to cope.
- Focus on activities that make you feel good about yourself and your life.
- Spend time with friends who genuinely care about you and are there for you. Prioritize those who bring you joy and support.
#30
Nina 2 years ago
If she has unloaded her SA story multiple times on you and you tell about yours but they won't listen, that doesn't come across as friendly. She might be triggered by your story, but did she ever consider you might get triggered when telling HER story multiple times? It comes across as self-centered.
Power puff scientist 2 years ago
so she shared the same story already multiple times. her friend didn't want to talk about it because of how it made her feel, so she changed the subject. and then the girl ghosted her after that. nor sure who is the a*****e here.
Jaya 2 years ago
It's a tough one. The friend is allowed to set a boundary if things are too triggering, but the OP is also allowed to be super hurt and angry about not getting the support back and feeling that this is an unbalanced friendship and therefor cut off contact. Maybe this is one of those situations where there isn't a good solution because every option is is unacceptable to one of them, sometimes life sucks like that. I hope the OP got a lot of support from other people, because this situation with her friend must be very painful, I hope she heals from it.
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#33
Mabelbabel 2 years ago
I had a close friend from college days-we'd got a bit less close afterwards, but kept in touch although worked in different countries. 25 years later, I was invited to give a talk at a conference-it was fairly prestigious and international. There was a website where people could leave comments, and he started trolling the board with anecdotes about me and my sex life from college days, like "who'd have thought a trollop like you would be doing a keynote speech? Remember XX? He'd be as impressed with your talk as he was with your BJ skills" I don't know if he thought it was private and just I could read them, or why he'd done it. I asked the website admin to delete it all, but loads of colleagues read it before that happened.
#45
#46
#49
Manusha Kanis 2 years ago
If prof changed a mark because another student asked him to, it's the prof who shouldn't be trusted
#52
Editor's note: (in southern Africa) an African custom by which a bridegroom's family makes a payment in cattle or cash to the bride's family shortly before the marriage.
#55
ROSESARERED 2 years ago
I had a friend who did just that...among other things...have to work with her, so I keep alot at arms length now, otherwise I keep getting burnt
#59
Richard Michael 2 years ago
More wealthy, or wealthier. I suppose poor grammar was the culprit.
#62
Richard Michael 2 years ago
So you invited yourself to stay at someone's house and he had to come up with an excuse to let you down easier? You obviously have some self reflection to pursue.
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What do you think ?
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
Some of these are quite dramatic, but others are straight up petty büllshit or very one-sided.
Jeanne Rajabzadeh 2 years ago
I'm wondering if the petty reasons were not for that one instance, but was actually the last straw in the friendship.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
One of the (MANY) reasons I went no contact with my middle sister 20+ years ago. If I dated a guy, and I do just mean date, I don't do random sex, she would track them down and sleep with them - without them knowing she was my sister - and then she'd brag about it. B*tch is f*cking sick.
Kim 2 years ago
That is f-ing mental! But you could always go on a date with some real jerk and let her have him 😈
Load More Replies...
Sid*o*licious 2 years ago
Had a friend since we were children give me a letter in between classes in 9th grade, telling me that I was taking things out on them. I wasn't. It was a stressful time and all I wanted was to talk to someone who cared. At the time my grandpa had cancer and didn't have much time left. And my dad was in the hospital with a severe case of pheumonia and we weren't sure he was going to make it. (he did). But, all through high school they spoke to me like I was an idiot. The two friends that I actually introduced to each other later became best friends and just pushed me away. I can't remember what they said that made them hate me but I remember how I felt reading that letter. High school sucked. Now, I don't really have friends. My best friend is my husband and he has stuck by me for 21 years now.
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
My childhood best mate. We didn´t see ecahother a lot once we found work because he was in a different town. I worked in a club and occasionally he would pop in for a drink. He comes in one day telling me that he wanted to break up with his GF, I knew they had been talking about getting married and was surprised. We when to a 24h diner when I finished work and caught up about our lives. The next week I bump into his brother, and he says, see you at the wedding next month. What wedding (we had many friends in common getting married then) My brothers he replied, oh dear. Never spoke again. I knew he could be very manipulative but never understood why he would do that. He got a job at the local town hall as a surveyor, the last I heard he tried to frame some local officials regarding planning violations and has been on and off sick for depression for the last 5 years. His wife left him reporting psychological abuse and threat of violence.
Darth Kittius 2 years ago
My best friend during my first half of high school dumped me during a very hard time in my life. I had just gone through a lot of rejections, and instead of helping me like I had always been willing to do for her, she convinced our mutual friends to leave me. I know that I was probably not the easiest person to be around at that time, but it hurt that she ghosted me after everything I had done for her.
Narelle Hussy 2 years ago
reminds me of when i(29) asked my so-called Mother 2 come over and be with me i broke the news 2 my 4 kids "4,5,7 & 9" that daddy(36) wasnt coming home as he passed away an aneurysm while at work, Her response was "i'd really like 2 help u out but your sister is going out 2nite and i need 2 stay at her house as the phone is being connected at 7am" That was the day i realised i was stronger than i knew and i no longer needed or called her "mother".. my kiddies and i have done the hard yards alone but we came out ok, i dont always get things right but that day i didnt get it wrong, when i lost my hubby i realised it was always going 2 be "me and my kiddies" and im ok with that..
Narelle Hussy 2 years ago
please dont feel sad 4 me, that kind of Evil has no place in my life, i thanked her 4 it later, the trash took itself out of our lives..🙂
Load More Replies...
Louise D 2 years ago
She was not there for me after i was S.A, she was extremely distant. She would also love me for the status i could bring her, not because i was anyone important but because i had high end brands for clothing etc. I loved her just for her, as she was, imperfections and all. But after my asault she became distant, saying that i had changed and was overly anxious. Fast forward to last year, she never let me know she was moving to Canada. I guess i was the only one who tought of her as my best friend for the last 15 years.
M G----no 3 months ago (edited)
1. Dated the guy she knew I really liked. And it was weird. She was like an older sis to me. I was in high school and she was in college (he was my age). 2. She (my age) started gossiping about me w/friend #1. 3. The one friend I thought I had left from that group was going to be my maid of honor, & she bailed a few months before the wedding. Her excuse was that she wasn't ready to go to a wedding since her marriage fell apart. She'd been divorced 2yrs & was dating another guy. 4. My cousin who called my mom insane (probably the least crazy in the family) and said she was going to have her committed (we knew it couldn't happen but still). TBH, I finally learned what a toxic btch she really was. 5. Always called me family, made me his kids' godmother, said I could go w/them to the beach, then found excuses for me not to go (despite other friend going). Happened twice. I adore the kids like my own, so I didn't cut them out, but I'm not going out of my way for them anymore.
M G----no 3 months ago (edited)
I guess I'm just too nice of a person and I care too much, but that's just the way my mom raised me.
Load More Replies... brittany 2 years ago
when she told me only "true Christians" could have communion. this meant (to her) people who were baptized, not living with an intimate partner out of wedlock, no children without being married (even if the person was widowed or divorced, to her it was just as bad as never being married) etc. this was NOT the policy of the church we attended. they encouraged community and participation in communion was encouraged regardless of your baptismal status or living situation. we are no longer friends and havent spoken in maybe 5 years. (im also an atheist now but that's nothing to do with her or the church)
Cass 2 years ago
I brought my friend to a party to meet the guy I had a crush on, and she hooked him. They dated for months and I forgave them, it's love, you can't decide who loves you or not. Then I introduced her to my new crush, and she hooked him. Let's put it this way... I've heard through rumors how turbulent their marriage was and I couldn't help smiling when I heard that he kicked her out and got custody of the kids.
Zedrapazia 2 years ago
Some of these are quite dramatic, but others are straight up petty büllshit or very one-sided.
Jeanne Rajabzadeh 2 years ago
I'm wondering if the petty reasons were not for that one instance, but was actually the last straw in the friendship.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
One of the (MANY) reasons I went no contact with my middle sister 20+ years ago. If I dated a guy, and I do just mean date, I don't do random sex, she would track them down and sleep with them - without them knowing she was my sister - and then she'd brag about it. B*tch is f*cking sick.
Kim 2 years ago
That is f-ing mental! But you could always go on a date with some real jerk and let her have him 😈
Load More Replies... Sid*o*licious 2 years ago
Had a friend since we were children give me a letter in between classes in 9th grade, telling me that I was taking things out on them. I wasn't. It was a stressful time and all I wanted was to talk to someone who cared. At the time my grandpa had cancer and didn't have much time left. And my dad was in the hospital with a severe case of pheumonia and we weren't sure he was going to make it. (he did). But, all through high school they spoke to me like I was an idiot. The two friends that I actually introduced to each other later became best friends and just pushed me away. I can't remember what they said that made them hate me but I remember how I felt reading that letter. High school sucked. Now, I don't really have friends. My best friend is my husband and he has stuck by me for 21 years now.
Donna Peluda 2 years ago
My childhood best mate. We didn´t see ecahother a lot once we found work because he was in a different town. I worked in a club and occasionally he would pop in for a drink. He comes in one day telling me that he wanted to break up with his GF, I knew they had been talking about getting married and was surprised. We when to a 24h diner when I finished work and caught up about our lives. The next week I bump into his brother, and he says, see you at the wedding next month. What wedding (we had many friends in common getting married then) My brothers he replied, oh dear. Never spoke again. I knew he could be very manipulative but never understood why he would do that. He got a job at the local town hall as a surveyor, the last I heard he tried to frame some local officials regarding planning violations and has been on and off sick for depression for the last 5 years. His wife left him reporting psychological abuse and threat of violence.
Darth Kittius 2 years ago
My best friend during my first half of high school dumped me during a very hard time in my life. I had just gone through a lot of rejections, and instead of helping me like I had always been willing to do for her, she convinced our mutual friends to leave me. I know that I was probably not the easiest person to be around at that time, but it hurt that she ghosted me after everything I had done for her.
Narelle Hussy 2 years ago
reminds me of when i(29) asked my so-called Mother 2 come over and be with me i broke the news 2 my 4 kids "4,5,7 & 9" that daddy(36) wasnt coming home as he passed away an aneurysm while at work, Her response was "i'd really like 2 help u out but your sister is going out 2nite and i need 2 stay at her house as the phone is being connected at 7am" That was the day i realised i was stronger than i knew and i no longer needed or called her "mother".. my kiddies and i have done the hard yards alone but we came out ok, i dont always get things right but that day i didnt get it wrong, when i lost my hubby i realised it was always going 2 be "me and my kiddies" and im ok with that..
Narelle Hussy 2 years ago
please dont feel sad 4 me, that kind of Evil has no place in my life, i thanked her 4 it later, the trash took itself out of our lives..🙂
Load More Replies... Louise D 2 years ago
She was not there for me after i was S.A, she was extremely distant. She would also love me for the status i could bring her, not because i was anyone important but because i had high end brands for clothing etc. I loved her just for her, as she was, imperfections and all. But after my asault she became distant, saying that i had changed and was overly anxious. Fast forward to last year, she never let me know she was moving to Canada. I guess i was the only one who tought of her as my best friend for the last 15 years.
M G----no 3 months ago (edited)
1. Dated the guy she knew I really liked. And it was weird. She was like an older sis to me. I was in high school and she was in college (he was my age). 2. She (my age) started gossiping about me w/friend #1. 3. The one friend I thought I had left from that group was going to be my maid of honor, & she bailed a few months before the wedding. Her excuse was that she wasn't ready to go to a wedding since her marriage fell apart. She'd been divorced 2yrs & was dating another guy. 4. My cousin who called my mom insane (probably the least crazy in the family) and said she was going to have her committed (we knew it couldn't happen but still). TBH, I finally learned what a toxic btch she really was. 5. Always called me family, made me his kids' godmother, said I could go w/them to the beach, then found excuses for me not to go (despite other friend going). Happened twice. I adore the kids like my own, so I didn't cut them out, but I'm not going out of my way for them anymore.
M G----no 3 months ago (edited)
I guess I'm just too nice of a person and I care too much, but that's just the way my mom raised me.
Load More Replies... brittany 2 years ago
when she told me only "true Christians" could have communion. this meant (to her) people who were baptized, not living with an intimate partner out of wedlock, no children without being married (even if the person was widowed or divorced, to her it was just as bad as never being married) etc. this was NOT the policy of the church we attended. they encouraged community and participation in communion was encouraged regardless of your baptismal status or living situation. we are no longer friends and havent spoken in maybe 5 years. (im also an atheist now but that's nothing to do with her or the church)
Cass 2 years ago
I brought my friend to a party to meet the guy I had a crush on, and she hooked him. They dated for months and I forgave them, it's love, you can't decide who loves you or not. Then I introduced her to my new crush, and she hooked him. Let's put it this way... I've heard through rumors how turbulent their marriage was and I couldn't help smiling when I heard that he kicked her out and got custody of the kids.
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