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Throughout life, we naturally pick up small pieces of wisdom to put into our arsenals of experiences. From more practical tips like "eat mindfully" and "exercise every day" to corny but deeply universal truths — "stay true to yourself". We always keep an eye out for ways to improve the quality of our lives. Eventually, looking back on the decisions we’ve made, most of us uncover valuable lessons about how to make life more joyful and less problematic.

Unfortunately, far too often, the learning comes too late to prevent painful mistakes and wasted time and effort. Though we don’t have a time machine to take us back and help our past selves, we can at least offer these little pieces of advice to anyone willing to listen. So two months ago, Reddit user morningperzon did precisely that when they asked folks over 40 if they had any pertinent words of wisdom to pass down to people in their 20s.

The comments were immediately flooded with tips and habits from the older generation to give twentysomethings perspective on what's truly important. We at Bored Panda have gathered some of the most enlightening responses from the thread, so we hope you enjoy and get inspired. Be sure to upvote the replies that resonate with you, and share your insightful advice in the comment section below!

#1

Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver I'm 81 and I really can't distill it down to one thing so here goes: - Be yourself. Stop trying to live up to others' expectations and do your own thing. - Get moving! Whether it's bike riding or walking or a gym membership. Just move. - Eat healthy! Yes, those fast food fries and burgers are easy - but - you will pay for that some time in the future. Start eating healthy so it becomes a habit. - Be kind to people. If everyone did this, imagine what a world we would live in! - Become politically active. Support honest, progressive candidates in whatever way you can. And VOTE! F*****g VOTE! Hugs from Gma.

NoBSforGma , Gian Cescon Report

XenoMurph
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm going to reply to these in order of importance. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. But feel free to reorder them to your preference.

badger
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

she looks great for 81.

Kalevra
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

*Become politically active. Support honest, progressive candidates in whatever way you can. And VOTE! F*****g VOTE!" These dont exsist. You either die a hero or live long enough to become the villian.

Alex Freetime
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Vote for the same people who promised that this time they're going to do what they promised the time before, or vote the other guys who promised the same thing only they both ended up doing what the people who sponsored them wanted them to do. But this time it's gonna be different.

PVT Pyle
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well it all was fantastic until the political nonsense.

Terry B
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Yeah vote cause that helps

MJ
Community Member
3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Thank you, Gma 😊

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RELATED:
    #2

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Pay less attention to what people say, and more attention to what they do.

    Cherryfritterfrieda , mentatdgt Report

    Sage Gusano
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How they treat the staff is how they actually are.

    Maybesylvia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I feel like you can pay attention to actions AND words. For example: some people might be verbally abusive and then act like the most innocuous beings(narcissists).

    Momus
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is it possible for people in their 20s to pay less attention to what other people are saying?

    Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I could be wrong, but I feel like this quote from Maya Angelou fits here. People will forget what you said. People will forget what you did. But people will never forget how you made them feel.

    Ally R
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh my goodness yes! Actions speak louder than words.

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm always saying this to my boss. Actions speak louder than words!

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    #3

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Don't be afraid to do things by yourself. Go to that show, see the movie, take a day trip. Don't miss out on opportunities because no one will go with you.

    frumperbell , Karen Zhao Report

    Harley Lee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is a good one. Go by yourself if no one wants to come with u!

    ItsJess
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YES! don't wait until you have a partner to do things you want to do. Why let your happiness hinge on a person you've never met? DO EET. (Took up hiking with only my dog for company when I was single and 35 and have found it to be the best thing ever.)

    Lisa T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This! Nobody thinks you’re a “loser” for going to or doing things on your own.

    LH25
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And anyone who does isn't someone whose opinion is worth worrying about

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    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't mind eating in a restaurant by myself but I mind the rest. Not because I'm insecure but because I need the security of someone else. If I'm attacked on the street, I'm going down.

    Mother Of Magpies
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love doing things on my own... I'm currently in a bar, by myself, watching the world go by. It's lovely. It took me years to be comfortable in my own company, but now, I love it!

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's actually how you meet people is by going alone. Because people will see you alone and ask you to join their group.

    RafCo (he/him)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You must have a friendly face. I am often alone at places, and have never been invited to join any group. Though I have had a few, not so polite, invitations to hand over my wallet.

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    Samara Messer
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tried to get this across to my mom. Other than make a run to the store, she won't do anything alone and relies too much on others. She blames others for her unhappiness and says its because no one will go with her to this or help her with that. I told her if Bill (my step-dad) is busy or her friends are unavailable, go on that walk or hike anyway, hop on your kayak, visit that street fair. I would have missed out on a lot if I wasn't ok going by myself.

    Dorothy Stovall
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And learn to love your own company!

    Della
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Amen to this!!! Learned to do this early in my life and have not regretted a second of it! Oh wait, does taking my dog count?

    Ed Gomaz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I get disappointed if there is anyone else there because it’s always the jerk who pulls out his phone to make a call to the person who turned him down.

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    #4

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Get to know your parents as people. Ask them all about their early lives and about their parents and other relatives. Write these things down if you can. Before you know it, they will be gone, either physically or mentally and there will be so many things you want to know.

    zazzlekdazzle , Elina Fairytale Report

    alwaysMispelled
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Very, very true. Write s**t down, or record audio or video. Once they're gone, they're gone :-(

    Fo An
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did this when my dad was in the hospital a few days before he died. I took notes almost 20 years later I still pull them out occasionally. My mom passed away suddenly and before my dad did so I made sure to talk to him and document what he said before he left us.

    JJ
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are also books available to write down those memories - either with or for them. I made one of these for my grandma as a gift during the pandemic when we couldn't visit. She was so, so happy about it.

    Apatheist 62
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My parents did this, for my niece, to be read after they died. They wrote stuff in there about me and my brothers that I never heard them say, about how proud they were of us; it still makes me well up when I think about it. Definitely worth doing if you have younger generations to read it.

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    Dustin white
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I recorded my parents recounting their childhood memories and favorite stories on video. Now that they're gone, it's PRICELESS!

    Sage Gusano
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have a cousin who would sit down with our grandma and a tape recorder (yes...tape...I'm older LOL). He'd ask a few questions to get her talking. After that he would sit back and let her talk while recording.

    Darren Craig
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I always recommend to people to video interview their loved ones with simple questions like what is your favorite memory, what is your favorite memory of me, tell their favorite story etc...

    Patti Stevens
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes yes yes! 100% yes! Now that I have so many questions for them (I’m 46) they are both gone. Grandparents are all gone too so I have no answers.

    Brian Ham
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My kids asked us to write down how life was in our childhood. I lived in the UK just after the war. My wife was born in Palestine. For me , oranges were a rarely. For her , they grew on trees Post was twice a day, milk, bread, coal all delivered by horse and cart Great days

    Henry Crank
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The older I get, the more my parents share about who they were when they were younger. My mom's a great person. My dad was a d******d football player and as a social worker, tried to use his work skills on his family. Needless to say it didn't help.

    Ivanka van der Reest
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I lost my mom when I was 19. I never wrote things down, but I remember all of her stories and who she was by heart so after all these years I still might. Telling people about the amazing woman she was always brings a smile on my face. I'm 32 now and hopefully my husband and I may conceive at some point. My children will never know their grandmother personally, but when they want to know more about her, I want them to know about how amazing she was, fierce and loyal. I already often catch myself making her jokes. And I will keep telling her stories and how strong she believed that death is not the end, only the beginning, because we have eternity ahead in Christ if we just believe. And so I follow her example. I follow Christ. And I find comfort knowing that one day I will see her again, and we'll never get separated ever again by death, no more pain, no more suffering, the river of life will set our feet dancing.

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    #5

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Ghost your s**tty friends. They are as much of a liability to your health and future as any other malicious factors in your life right now. And if you have to ask if they're a s**tty friend, they are a s**tty friend. Ghost them. Now.

    MisterAmmosart , cottonbro Report

    Alexia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    THIS. Wish I had known this earlier.

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ghost bad family as well. Ask yourself "Would I be friends with them if they were not family?"

    Adam Francis
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't have any friends. Does that mean I"m the s**tty one?

    Xottel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The good thing is, when you start breaking contact many of them won't even try to reach out. It's the first filter and an easy one, too.

    Henry Crank
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did this back in college. I realized they were unhealthy for me. This is part of the reason I'm not in Facebook.

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I only add that if you have to ask the question you already know the answer - fits most circumstances. We don't always want to admit things to ourselves..

    Jenny K Anderson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fun fact: Ghosting someone makes YOU the sh%#y friend! If you no longer want to be friends with someone, then there must be a reason. If it’s bad enough to break up with the person then you might as well tell them WHY.

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    #6

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver VERY few companies out there will ever give a s**t about you. You should never feel any loyalty to them.

    Rdr1051 , Dylan Gillis Report

    Bored Birgit
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And colleagues are no friends even if you spend so much time with them.

    Momus
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Almost all of my closest friends are people I met through work. Saying colleagues are not friends is like saying "people you went to school with", or "people you played sports with" aren't friends. These are places you meet people, if you don't regard any of them as friends it's possible you might want to look at how you socialize.

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    John Bujold
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not always true. True friends are far and few between but the ones that you find come from all places including work. I've been retired for a few years and still talk with my best friends I made there. No risk no reward

    Izzy
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so totally true I have been in my company for over 20 years and if I left today I would be replaced in a minute. I always look at those go-getters that are trying to make the job their life and tell them this job is not my life I go to work so I can live my life.

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You're just a number, the word 'employ' means 'to use'

    Sarah Richardson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve always said to colleagues at work, no-one is irreplaceable; there will always be someone after you. I don’t have friends at work, I’m friendly to everyone but I don’t see any of them outside - so not my friends.

    Marlene Merical
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be yourself!! Don't let anyone tell you that you are not smart enough are to lazy to be successful in life. Prove them wrong.

    Vira
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is up with so many flakey people? Why do so many people live by, "out of sight, to out of mind?" There's really a pervasive issue of people saying they are lonely, and mistreated, while refusing to maintain relationships. Changed jobs? No one wants to talk to you anymore. Doesn't matter that you had things in common outside of work, you apparently no longer matter. I guess there's at least two generations of parents who failed to teach their children about object permanence. The world is still out here playing peek-a-boo.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    The loyalty should be between 9-5 M-F (unless you have other work hours). This is not the time to chat with your buddies, check FB, write poems. This time is not your own.

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    #7

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. A long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists.

    wienermcfartface , BATCH by Wisconsin Hemp Scientific Report

    Nora12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience, I will dispense this advice now” the song referenced https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sTJ7AzBIJoI

    Nora12
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh, never mind You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth Until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back At photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now How much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked You are not as fat as you imagine Don't worry about the future Or worry, but know that worrying Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum The real troubles in your life Are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind The kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday Do one thing every day that scares you Saying, don't be reckless with other people's hearts Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours Floss Don't waste your time on jealousy Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind The race is long and in the end, it's only with yourself Remember compliments you receive, forget the insults If you succeed in d

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    Ivanka van der Reest
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem is that many youth these days want to desperately believe that everything science has proven is a lie. With Facebook being the new religion many hoaxes are spread and somehow society has given birth to a generation that prefers to listen to fake news rather than scientific researches.

    Momus
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, apparently this while thing is just the sunscreen song broken into individual entries

    Sage Gusano
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And don't forget the top of your ears.

    Kalevra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hmmm. i feel like you work for the sunscreen manufactures.

    OnlyMyOpinion
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have used sunscreen all year round since my late teens. I'm 39 now and it's really paid off.

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This whole song was valuable advice!

    You Should Do Nothing with the Fence
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So, I don't think this has been mentioned so far, but the Baz Lurhmann song is based on an article by Mary Schmich, a columnist at the Chicago Tribune. She wrote it as a hypothetical commencement speech in June of 1997. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wear_Sunscreen. She eventually put it into book form (https://smile.amazon.com/Wear-Sunscreen-Primer-Real-Life/dp/0836255283/ref=tmm_hrd_swatch_0?_encoding=UTF8&qid=&sr=). I actually included it in a few graduation gifts over the years. I seem to remember reading an article about it years ago where they interviewed her, very interesting. Also, Urban Legend, not read by Kurt Vonnegut as a commencement speech at MIT.

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    #8

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth, oh—never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

    wienermcfartface , Andrea Piacquadio Report

    suzanne van Doorn
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I was as "fat" now as the first time I thought I was "fat"

    Sammie 19
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me too! At school I was convinced I was fat and spent all my time hiding my fat thighs and hips and even bre asts. 40 years later I wish I was that size now. One of my problems was I went through puberty so early and for a few years I was the tallest and most well developed. I was taller than all the boys in my class. They all called me fat. Then puberty caught up for the other kids as well. Suddenly I wasn't the biggest anymore. However I still felt fat. I look at photos of me back then and realised I was only a UK sized 10, bigger but definitely not fat.

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    LillieMean
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It depends. Fifteen years ago, I gained a lot of weight because of bad medication. As a teenager I suffered from an eating disorder and only now I'm at a normal weight and age has brought self-confidence, so I think I look better than ever. Maybe now would be the time to go to the studio to take a picture that will be covered when guests come to visit.🙈

    Kul Steph
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sounds like an amazing experience! Have them do you some outdoor photoshoot! By a body of water, top a mountain, etc. I hope you have fun!!🤗

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    Poh Kwang Ong
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many many many are using that "Everyone's free to use sunscreen song"

    Mary Bridget
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true, I am over 60 now and when I see an old photo of myself I wonder why I thought so poorly of myself. I don't compare myself to anyone now.

    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As I said in the previous post, this whole song was valuable advice!

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is true at 40, 50, 60 etc. You will ALWAYS look back 10 - 20 years and think how good you looked then. But still you will not realise how good you look NOW. If you can accept this fact you might accept that you look good now, now..

    Tracy Wallick
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was taken from a commencement speech that went "viral" in 1995 :/

    Momus
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was a *theoretical* commencement speech written as an essay by journalist Mary Schmich. It was never actually a real commencement speech.

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    #9

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Travel, use your vacation time, make memories.

    IrishSFnative , Leah Kelley Report

    Dorothy Stovall
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Use your PTO. What are you saving it for?

    Aga Be
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless U don’t like/need it :-)

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still, do it. You can't understand the world from a small room.

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    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But for the love of the planet, please keep out of the skies. We just can't afford for billions of people to be taking unnecessary flights for selfish reasons.

    Ivo H
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can’t agree with you, Becky. Traveling abroad definitely takes a toll on our planet, but it’s often the only way for people to reach different countries. And altough I agree we should limit our emissions, I also think we need open mind, we need to know different countries with different cultures and different mindsets to grow as people, as humanity. There are different ways to limit pollution we should definitely go for next - growing as much food as possible at home, buy from local producers, force companies to limit manufacturing in china and produce locally instead. We should force transporation companies to use non fosil fuels for the largest ships and finallt try to come with the suitable green fuel for planes. Then it will be far better. But I think people who don’t stick their noses from their countries are more likely to be prejudiced, racist and xenophobic.

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    #10

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Take care of your body. Exercise to maintain a healthy weight and good cardiovascular health. As you get older, it's much harder to maintain these.

    Thomasgraham76 , Tirachard Kumtanom Report

    Vanessa Panerosa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Something ppl don’t mention about being unhealthy is just how expensive it gets. Eating cheap c**p costs you much more in the end in medical bills, dr’s visits, etc. I bought a yoga mat that I just replaced after a decade and subscribe to a yoga channel on YouTube. Less than pennies a day to work out and be fit/healthy.

    Molly Whuppie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. Even if you feel fit and healthy now. Make sure to get regular check up with your doctor. Once you hit your mid 40s things can escalate pretty quickly, and it's better to get ahead of them now, than have an issue escalate when it could have been prevented. (I am speaking from experience here, not just talking in the wind).

    Mary Bridget
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't let yourself go, it's hard to get it back when you do.

    Ivanka van der Reest
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And don't shame people who weigh a bit more as overweight isn't always caused by wrong food or lack of exercise. I speak from experience because I used to weigh so much more when I was taking medicine for something. Medication, certain medical conditions or a slow thyroid can cause someone to gain weight by just looking at water. So don't judge until you know the story behind someone's overweight. And even those who do get overweight from a poor lifestyle often didn't choose that path. Depression for example can cause serious problems with binge eating and lack of energy and judgmental people do not help a depressed person feel any better, you only kick them deeper into misery. Most people I know with an unhealthy lifestyle and overweight actually got into that situation from depression. A person who is doing fine will not quickly choose an unhealthy lifestyle. Help someone who is depressed. Be kind to them and stimulate them to get better, find professional help, eat better, come out more and remind them that they are still beautiful wonderful people. That's how you help. Telling them that they should be ashamed of themselves does not.

    MoMcB
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, go and have the tests as you get to the age. The cervical smear, the prostate exam, the mammogram. Medical staff don't care about your bits, it's just their job. I'm in my late 50s and losing too many friends and relatives.

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    #11

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Life is short, enjoy! You may have a day or 50 years left, no one knows. Don't put things off for "your golden years".

    jenfish06 , Elle Hughes Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    that goes for 401k (retirement funds) as well. Do not spend your whole life working so they can put "he brought great value to the shareholders" on your tombstone. "Saving for retirement" implies you're going to only do fun stuff at 65. F**k that. You need to be doing fun stuff while your body is not a wreck. Source: me, old person.

    Pumpkin Spice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hello, you: old person. I have plenty of time and energy, no money so I can't do fun stuff. Later I have money and energy but no time. Then I'll have time and money but no energy. Then I'm six feet under. At this point, I'm trying to stay afloat and thrive in a bureaucratic, capitalist nation that sees us as meat shields and indentured servants for the rich.

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    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Make & Take time off to do the things you love & be with the one you love. If there's something you want to learn to do, start learning while you are still young enough to develop enough skill to really enjoy it

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The average male in my country gets 8 years in retirement before death. That's average so you might not get as long and you certainly won't get all of your retirement in good health..

    MJ
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easier said than done these days, on all counts…

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    #12

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Brush your teeth.

    Dazzling-Adeptness11 , Greta Hoffman Report

    Chris Hills
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not all about your teeth. Receding gums are a real issue for your teeth to stay in your mouth!

    A Jones
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Put sweets and sugary drinks in moderation. Drink water after coffee/tea (advice doc gave me since I like to slowly sip my drinks).

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also if you have kids and your area offers caries vaccines for them, get them asap! Tooth decay is actually a potentially deadly desease and starting to lose teeth at bit over 30 is no fun in any case. (speaking as someone who can remove one of his front "teeth" at the moment because the cement keeping it in place got damaged)

    Remi (He/Him)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Btw. I did the brushing and flossing, but I also got weak enamel from lack of D vitamin plus a dry mouth from snoring and general mouth breathing that happens when your nose can't give you enough oxygen if you're doing something strenuous like walking

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    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Absolutely, I've just spent £8.5k getting 3 teeth replaced :(

    Ed Gomaz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Floss, rinse with listerine, brush and then rinse again with Act. Floss after eating. I suffer from migraines so when my gums get infected I feel like I’m going to die.

    #13

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Do it. Whatever it is . Take a trip. Start a band. Move to a new city. Do it now when you aren't as tied to place by obligations.

    spiked_macaroon , Toomas Tartes Report

    No you didn't
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can do whatever you want as long as you're willing to live with the consequences.

    Rob Eman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Abstinence may help with this goal...

    K-Hey
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "obligations" 🤣🤣😂😂 that's the nice word to call them

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    #14

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Your joints are the first thing to wear out--take care of them.

    manwithavandotcom , Kindel Media Report

    Aniviel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Also, lift heavy objects *properly*

    Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A lot of damage, unfortunately, starts in high school. Track, football, soccer beats the c**p out of your knees.

    DAN COOK
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can I keep upvoting this fafafa

    #15

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver It's never too late to start a new career. Do what you love!

    monja2009 , cottonbro Report

    Lisa T
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me, at 51, studying to be an art therapist

    T.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Same here, at 37 I'm starting my BA to become a translator on Monday.

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    SCP 4666
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grandpa Kitchen. Sound familiar? A happy old man from India making YouTube videos on Indian cuisine. He was in his 70s

    Apatheist 62
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is if you're 85 and want to become an adult movie star.

    Solo Juegos
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 49, studying to be a builder. Couldn't be happier.

    R. H.
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Me at 64 trying to figure out what I want to do with my life.

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    #16

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Save. If your job offers a 401k, take advantage of that. If not, open a savings account and put something in it every pay. Even if you can only afford to put in 5 bucks, it still adds up.

    frumperbell , Alexander Mils Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    for those who don't speak american, a 401k is what the rest of the planet calls a retirement fund

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And many companies match a percentage of your contributions. Put in at least as much as they match. If they’re giving you money, take it.

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    carrie johnston
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Invest it yourself. Half the time you lose money even with so-called matching funds from the company.

    MJ
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except when the health system in the US eats up every dollar you have when you face an illness or injury. And health insurance is a joke: $800+ a month premium for a $6500 deductible and $8000 max out of pocket? HMOs are a majorly bad joke.

    Rodney Bowie
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    While this is the opposite of "travel, go do those things now cuz you don't know how long you have," I happen to agree with both and find it difficult to decide which I would offer as advice. So, do whichever makes sense and feels right to you: save, or spend it all on travel. And then stop taking advice from strangers on the internet. Even that. Take advice from strangers on the internet if you like.

    MH13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Travel, but do your homework to get good deals, and save. My husband and I did this. He passed away unexpectedly last year, so I am glad we traveled a lot before retirement and we saved In our retirement plans so I can still travel after I retire.

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    Alexia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes!! No matter how small is the amount, save every month. In other words, pay yourself first, then pay the rent, the bills etc.

    Rob Williams
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd advise that if you get the opportunity, top up your pension whenever you can. I managed to retire at sixty but I wish I had taken advantage of plans which I'd refused because I was young, free, and single and wanted to spend all my money then.

    Michelle Smith
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I advised all of my children to always live below their means. Also, to put 10% of every paycheck beginning with their first one into a 401k. Two of them did. One of these two is retiring this year. His 401k is over $1,000,000.

    Miss Frankfurter
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After his stroke and my dad had to go on disability he and my mom were shocked at how much retirement money he had accumulated with the company he worked for. Completely forgot that when he started there when he was 30 that he had them take $25 out per pay check. Obviously never missed it. $100,000 later!

    Rob Eman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you believe in what is said here. And you are banking on it for all your future monies. I recommend reading MJ Demarco's books, you may be getting peddled very upscaled lies... And especially if you want to retire before 65... Ever heard of compound inflation? Or the one time for 30+ years where the stock market gained no value? Educate yourself and don't trust others to do it for you...

    Momus
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is EXCELLENT advice. It is literally the most important financial advice any young person should take. Maybe you'll get rich, maybe you'll have a high paying job, but if you put whatever amount you can aside you will have some security if that never happens.

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    #17

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver You don't need to excel, average can be extremely fullfilling. Aspire to be happy with little achievements. Failures can open many unexpected windows.

    tigbit72 , gaspar zaldo Report

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wouldn't want my surgeon to be average, though. Or my financial adviser.

    Denis Zotov
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And yet, a lot of them will be average. Heck, half of all surgeons are below average, just by definition.

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    Apatheist 62
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be the best that you want to be, rather than what others want you to be.

    Rob Eman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How does one fail if they never attempt to excel? Get laid off and become homeless?

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Keep going until you fail..

    Aqsa Azam
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I gotta tell this to myself more often

    Dammian
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can excel to one thing or be sufficient to many things... As long as you're happy, all is acceptable!

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    #18

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Don’t rush to get married. You’re still figuring out who you are. Date, live together, whatever. Just don’t get married before 30.

    geegeeallin , Emma Bauso Report

    JJ
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was 24, am 32 now, happily married. My advice: Don't listen to any of these "wait til day x to ..."-advice. If you feel it, you feel it.

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True, up to a point. I got married at 21. 15 amazing years. But ....I didn't know who I was as a person yet. That had nothing to do with our relationship, or how much we loved each other. But I wasn't a fully formed person at 21. Eventually we turned into different people, with nothing in common. You have to learn to love the people you will become after children, bereavement, illness. All that changes you both. And unless you know yourself, it's much harder to cope with yourself, never mind the person your partner has turned into. When people older than you are telling you that something is wise, do not so casually dismiss it.

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    whilst marriage does not equal children, getting married young and having children young is a recipe for poverty. Source : me, someone who lives in africa and sees the disaster it causes.

    R J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is no ONE perfect rule in life for things. This does make sense but it is quite possible to get married early if it is the right person and enjoy life together. To be committed to each other in a marriage is profound. Yes, dating offers freedom but marriage is where the deeper values can kick in.

    Babsevs
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was just short of 30 when I married....and I agree. I had a much firmer view of self, wants, needs and the life I expected to have. My confidence changed hugely between 22 and 28....my whole existence was nothing like it was at 22 .....and I am happy to say that yes marriage changed me, but in a better way, I am more patient, understanding and emotionally evolved thanks to my relationship...as is my husband. We have ups and downs like everyone else, but are still stupidly IN LOVE with each other (even after 2 kids lol)

    Vanessa Panerosa
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Married at 26 - 12 yrs ago to the greatest match I couldn’t have ever even been able to dream up for myself. This advice is terrible. Know who you are and what you want and don’t settle for less. Personally, I’m grateful I got to get married and start my family before hitting 30 - it’s awesome being young to enjoy this. I know so many ppl who didn’t get married until their 30’s (live in LA) and it seems like they’re so much less mobile than I am and certainly have overwhelmingly had fertility issues.

    sherry powers
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wish I'd follow my own advice and not religious parents advice. I care about my husband but not sure if I love him anymore. I know if I lived with him before I got married, I wouldn't have married him. I was 27. He doesn't know, I hide it well.

    Aunt Riarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not being snarky here, but is there a possibility that he might feel the same Sherry?

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    MH13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No. Getting married at 25 is fine as long as you don't have kids until your 30s.

    Gloria Rodriguez
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Married my hubby at 18. One month after we met. We made it work. We worked to love each other and I try has been the best 17years tomorrow even with all the ups and downs. We value the downs more because of the growth we've had as a couple.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I married at 20. I don't regret anything. I'm almost 60 now. I'm the only one married in my family and I'm the youngest of 5. I did an essay in HS on being married. My father and teacher made me redo it because it wasn't a job.

    setsuriseikou
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I was 24, am 38 now, divorced at 29. My advice: make sure you both have the same answer to the "what does this marriage mean for me" question.

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    #19

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Get. A. Pre-nup.

    James0100 , Brett Andrei Martin Report

    Roland Gosselin
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why get married in the first place?

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Easier taxes? Better health insurance? I dunno.

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    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I never got one - still happily married after 30 some years - but if I'd get married again in these times I would, to protect myself because everything is different than where I come from. Too much uncertainty and people take marriage like it's something easily discarded.

    Nicole Holt
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL...hubby always says: At least we know e didn't marry for money. We didn't have any back then. Now we built a nice life together. Not rich, but nice.

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    #20

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Go to the doctor and to the dentist regularly

    olderthanbefore , Thirdman Report

    Alexia
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And if you can, donate blood regularly. Apart from saving other people's lives, it has benefits for your health too. Also, if the donors get a free set of blood tests (they do in my country) you can spot serious health issue quite early. One of my friends was contacted by the transfusion center immediately after donating blood. His blood tests showed something was wrong. He underwent other investigations and was diagnosed with an early stage colorectal cancer. He didn't have any other signs or symptoms. He had surgery and chemo and now he's fine.

    Disgruntled Pelican
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I so wish I could donate. My iron is way too low even with supplements and not even a hematologist can figure out why.

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    Boerenhond
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Dentist in Holland, only if I break a molar and have to.

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    #21

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver If you have a good relationship with your parents, try and see them. It’s frightening how quickly the years pass and suddenly they’re gone. Alzheimer’s also can hit unexpectedly and it’s amazing how much I wish for just a few more hours.

    lostwynter , Steven HWG Report

    alwaysMispelled
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or something medically routine turns into... bad.

    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you have a relationship with anyone in your life and you would have regrets if you never saw them again - do something about it. You never know what's around the corner. Make that apology for the harsh comment, keep the doors open, do whatever it takes to remember the good.

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    #22

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Work hard, but also have fun. That huge paycheck probably isn't worth it, unless you're super materialistic. Having a brand new tesla or a luxury condo is fun for a month, having good friends and balanced life is fun for a lifetime.

    PoorMansTonyStark , Helena Lopes Report

    Rob Eman
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But being enslaved and watching it happen to my kids sounds too depressing... Sorry can't sit back and just have fun, one day the fun will end for all and I'd rather my family be prepared; than just had been temporarily happy....

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Live in a smaller house, drive an older/smaller car and spend your money on experiences. You'll be living a richer lifestyle..

    #23

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver If you're addicted to nicotine, stop. If not, don't ever start.

    Rdr1051 , Tobias Tullius Report

    Leslie B
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I quit cold turkey. Had a cough I couldn't get rid of, decided to quit then and there, haven't touched it since. It's only been eight months but the cough is gone and helped identify an underlying issue I had (anemia) which has been dealt with (with iron infusions).

    RafCo (he/him)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I quit when cold turkey when my first child was born (actually when I found out he was coming). It's been 16 years, and I still dream about smoking (I was a very heavy smoker). But, I feel so much healthier. I can get on my bike and ride for 20-50 miles (whatever my wife gives me the time to do, lol). I also smell a whole lot better. Well done on quitting, but I'll give you one small piece of advise. If you go out drinking with friends, and they offer you a smoke, don't do it. Some people can have one cigarette with their drink, we cannot do that. That one will turn into one per day, to one pack per day, very quickly. It's easier now, that most bars don't allow smoking at all, and smoking has lost a lot of its cache. But same goes for e-cigarettes. Just avoid the whole thing.

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    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of the worst decisions I ever made was started smoking. One of the best was when I quit

    SCP 4666
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm trying to reduce but nicotine is one of the hardest substances to get rid off

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're the kind of person who has tried and failed to quit a lot try moving on to vaping. It's about 90% less harmful and about 90% cheaper. It doesn't smell bad and doesn't stop you going into places..

    Satya Bain
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Quit almost 16 years ago. Have yet to regret it.

    Kalevra
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell an addict to not do something and they wil only do it more.

    #24

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Don’t worry about not getting to certain “milestones” by a particular age (like 25 or 30 or whatever). Everyone’s circumstances are different. If life gets in the way of your goals, just keep at it (and take a pause if you need) until you achieve them.

    Juan_Calavera , Poodar Chu Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the most common cause of depression (stressing about milestones) and the most important cure is above.

    Question everything
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The "most common" cause of depression is the brain's chemistry. You said it yourself, it's stress (about milestones). Stress and depression are not the same thing. That said, not having high ambitions is fine, being average can be very freeing.

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    Brenda Spagnola-Wilson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do things in your own time. I didn't go to college until I was 30! Did much better because of it

    Gladys Hayes Southerland
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So true. I moved out at 25 because l thought l should. Lasted 6 months. I was terribly homesick & very alone & going through a rough time. Stayed with my folks until l was 30.l bought a house & moved out. This time l was ready.

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    #25

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Ask him/her/them out. Worst case you get a "No".

    Rdr1051 , cottonbro Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The worst case would be them ridiculing you for asking....but then you know you dodged a serious bullet and never have to worry about that "what-if"

    RafCo (he/him)
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Reminds me of something my wife said to me. Men are afraid they will be laughed at, women are afraid they will be killed. I like to keep that context in mind.

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you miss 100% of the shots you don't take.

    Pudgy Panda
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This. I asked him out 35 years ago. Happily married for 34 years. Best decision of my life.

    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women have the worst problem with this. Being conditioned to 'wait' to be the one asked. Hoping that you have dropped sufficient hints but not so heavily as to look desperate. This is the 21st century, you CAN ask him out, it's not weird, it's not desperate and I know from experience that he will love being the one getting asked..

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    #26

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Stretch. Start stretching. Do yoga. Keep stretching. Never get out of the habit. You don't have to be in the best shape to be happy, but stretching makes everything feel better, keeps it feeling good, and means that when you inevitably hurt yourself at some point in the future it's easier to recover. You may feel invincible now. Every person in their 20s does. And then you hit 30. And you start noticing things like it hurts when you jump down the last two stairs instead of walking down them, or when you wake up, or just, from existing. In my 40s now, and I'm still doing just fine, and find my daily yoga practice matters more than any other exercise I've ever done.

    JoshG1981 , Ketut Subiyanto Report

    DuchessDegu
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My ankles were sore for a week after I jumped about 5 inches to get a cobweb from the ceiling

    Dea Foley
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unless you have EDS, like me. Then all the stretching and yoga actually turns your joints into jello. Believe me, if yoga is easy for you the first time you try it, see an endocrinologist and ask about Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.

    Pumpkin Spice
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Taekwondo, yoga, and general stretches/daily walks and runs will hopefully keep me shipshape

    Nicole Holt
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm learning this the hard way at 51. I used to be very active when I was young. After 20 years in a sedentary job (and rarely any activities outside of my job) I'm stiff and in in pain. Now slowly working my way back to 'normal'.

    Celeste Grant
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you are lucky enough to be healthy in the first place this "might" apply but it's so utterly ableist to suggest stretching as a way of life or a cure all. Lots of conditions will cause pain, but many of them won't be because you didn't stretch enough!

    Marlowe Fitzpatrik
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'd be surprised how many things are related to not having your muscles and ligaments be nimble. Sure - cancer will not care if you stretch or not. But the advice here was not to "only stretch and you'll be healthy forever". But that it makes you feel better and less restricted in your movements. Are there conditions where it won't help? yes. Are there conditions where it would be actively hindering to be nimbler? Not that I'm aware of!

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    Ed Gomaz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me it’s tough to keep doing unless I’m in pain.

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    #27

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Don’t get fat. Losing weight is a brutal fight. It’s mentally draining.

    NoMooseSoup4You , Mikhail Nilov Report

    Tuna Fish
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know if you can really control that as a youth. You are kinda at the mercy of your upbringing in that regard. I mean I've been fat since I was a child. My family's eating habits were my eating habits. My parents metabolism was my metabolism. They were fat so I am fat. Losing the weight after the fact is my only option in my reality. I guess the better advise would be to give your children a better relationship with food than you had so they don't have to deal with the side effects of weight gain. Because yes, it is very mentally draining to lose weight on purpose.

    Renee Flores
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The problem phrase is the "relationship with food." We don't have a relationship with food. Food brings people & cultures together. The thought process is what's wrong. You do not & cannot have a relationship with food. You eat food & may become addicted to how you feel when you eat.

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    Becky Samuel
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope. Nobody brave enough to comment on this one and get perma-banned.

    Aunt Messy
    Community Member
    Premium
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I will. Fat kills. Even being 15% over your ideal weight triples your risk of heart attack and stroke as you get older. Being very overweight WILL destroy your feet, knees, hips, and back. I loved my great grandmother, but she ended up in a wheelchair because of this.

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    Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Healthy food, expensive. Junk food, cheap. 😩

    tl gmc
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Do you have a 99c store close to you?

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    #28

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Stop obsessing that you need to A) Be in a relationship B) Knocked up/Parenting C) Home Owning vs Renting in order to "prove" to society your life has entered some larger adult phase. You are 20. You may think you have it all figured out, and you certainly come with an in-built, unflinching optimism that life will go exactly as you wish as most of you haven't been thoroughly kicked in the face long enough yet by life to lose that rosy impression. However, you are 20. What you want today may not even be possible or relevant in 5 years let alone 20. You still have a lot of growing up to do and you will change.

    CurrentlyNobody , Hannah Olinger Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    latest science says brain stops growing at 25. So: please. Just enjoy yourself. Rent. Do not have kids. Do not get married. Travel. Be promiscuous. All that stuff is hard to do once you are in your 30s and are being pressurised to be a grownup.

    Apatheist 62
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Renting takes up a lot of money for no reward. Better to buy if you can, as soon as you can, so that you have an asset which is appreciating in value.

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    El Dee
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stop trying to 'prove' yourself to anyone (including yourself) and start living in the moment and enjoying your life. Obviously do the sensible stuff but by not stressing you will improve the quality of your life tenfold..

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    #29

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

    wienermcfartface , Anthony Tran Report

    over it already
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I tell my kids that you don't need to know what you want to be, but you have to choose something to be or do first. You can always change your mind later, just don't let it paralyze you into doing nothing at all.

    You Should Do Nothing with the Fence
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See comment above to "Sunscreen." Written by Mary Schmich in June, 1997.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm really old and STILL do not know what I want to do. Just wing it.

    Aunt Riarch
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup. I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up, and I'm nearly retired

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    J
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This whole song was valuable advice!

    Brenda Spagnola-Wilson
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AND YOU CAN CHANGE YOUR MIND! BFF got a masters in Cognitive psychology. 10 years later, went to law school (PhD) and loves it!

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    #31

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Having kids is a wonderful experience. While I personally think it's the best thing I've ever done it's certainly not for everyone and you will give up a lot of your personal life, hobbies, time alone and everything that you once did for yourself.

    ThorSaw , Charlein Gracia Report

    Ed Gomaz
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Surprised no one’s brought up getting a pet.

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    #32

    Don't stick with wrong people, friends/relationships out of habit or to honor the prior years spent with them. It's ok and normal to outgrow people. Don't waste time on people who no longer bring value to your life. 20s feel like you still have a lot of years left to screw up, but 20s pass in a blink. Train yourself to be self aware. Train yourself to say Nope without apology.

    CurrentlyNobody Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    yep I wasted decades with a person who did not appreciate me because I kept up with the sunk cost fallacy. Ditch people who bring negativity.

    #33

    It is better to regret something you did than something you did not do. Don't be a d**k tho.

    TrollinFoDollas Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep, as a person who was extremely boring in their 20s, this is good advice. Your youth is to be enjoyed. Rather regret doing stupid stuff and don't do it again, than not live and be "safe". Regret means you learnt something.

    Adilicious
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I dunno.... done some sh*t I'm not particularly proud of. And repercussions doesn't go away. Would have opted for the boring 20's in retrospect. But that's the thing about life - there is no "right" or "wrong". Just a different path chosen.

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    #34

    Don't give a f**k what people think of you. Just be authentic.

    muideprac Report

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    #35

    You can always change your mind. Don't feel like you're locked into a decision because you're embarrassed that maybe you chose the wrong thing. Life is too long.

    Business_Loquat5658 Report

    #36

    So much of modern life revolves around social media now. Shut It Off...Frequently. Eat meals, style your hair, go for vacations you never post about. Let calls to voicemail and texts unread. 98% of those items can wait or don't require your response at all. It's depressing to witness a group of friends sitting together in a restaurant and all opting to be on their phones rather than present for each other. You miss a lot of life time staring at your screens.

    CurrentlyNobody Report

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    #37

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Don't put yourself in ridiculous amounts of debt trying to portray a certain image. You'll spend your entire life trying to get out of the hole you dug or you'll have to declare bankruptcy. Set aside enough money to cover 3-6 months of expenses for emergencies just like now. Moreover, save now for your retirement years. It doesn't require much and if you have it taken directly from your paycheck you won't be inclined to not pay yourself first.

    Thomasgraham76 , Mikhail Nilov Report

    Babsevs
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The best thing an employer ever did for me was enrol me in a company pension when I started my apprenticeship at 19. I didn't have to choose, I had to do it (before it was a requirement of an employer to make you join a scheme in UK). It's the only bit of getting old I'm not worried about

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    #38

    Enjoy the days of your youth without going overboard. There is nothing wrong with having a good time, yet if you are always waking up wondering what happened last night, why you can't remember how you spent so much money or you always have a hangover; you should tone it down a bit.

    Thomasgraham76 Report

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    #39

    Everyone you'll meet has been through some s**t. Try not to judge. Instead, try being empathetic. Curious. Kind. Also, no one is ever ready for kids.

    ApexAquilas Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you are more ready when you are older than when younger, so have them older.

    Tuna Fish
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But, remember you don't have the energy when you're older that you have when you are young so have them young.

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    #40

    Don't take advice or criticism as a personal attack. Most times the people who care about you have observed behavior in you which is off putting, doesn't reflect who you really are or could be or would make you a more rounded person

    Thomasgraham76 Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's easier to get offended than to get to know ourselves...

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Always respond to criticism with "That's an intersting observation, thanks. Let me think about it and decide how I want to process it." You can then either take it onboard if it is true, or discard it if it is false. But dont get defensive.

    #41

    Run your own race. Focus on what is working for you and go with it.

    Epic_Sadness Report

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    #42

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver Whatever injuries you get while young and "indestructible" will hurt like hell later on

    13id , Tom Claes Report

    #43

    you don’t need a significant other to be happy. enjoy your time alone. take it slow and go with the flow. set expectations low. and be grateful for what has happen in your life. reminiscence what you had done in your life. what you cam do to improve. don’t regret anything even if it’s something horrible. accept it and move on with life. learn anything you can. trust me you don’t want to be 40 and feel useless. lastly this is what a friend told me and it has been stuck with me ever since. take care of yourself cause nobody else is better at taking care of yourself than you . no one else understands you more than you. soo do what makes you happy even if your friends and family thinks it’s weird. if it makes you feel happy do it. you can’t please everybody but you can please yourself

    immaweirdooooo Report

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wasn't born to be alone. I was born to be married in a lifelong relationship. Don't downvote me; it's my reality, not yours.

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    #44

    If you don't know *what* your passion is, your job is to find out what your passion is. Then work in that direction. I'm 46. I was a touring musician for 15 years (up until I was 40), dirt broke, worked in bars when I was home - lived hand to mouth. Would do it again in a heartbeat. I'm a family guy now, with a normal job, but I'll never have a mid life crisis.

    DarkPasta Report

    #45

    Someone Asked People Who Are 40+ To Share Their Best Advice For People In Their 20s, 30 Deliver By the time you're twenty, your parents have f****d you up somehow. Get therapy. Identify how you're f****d up now and deal with it so you don't have to deal with the monster-sized version of it when you're in your 40s.

    anon , SHVETS production Report

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    #46

    If it needs to go on credit and you don’t need it to stay alive (food, medicine, shelter etc) then you can wait until you’ve saved up for it.

    sainthO0d Report

    Bored Birgit
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First save money, then buy. Otherwise it will cost you too much.

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    True up to a point. Sometimes getting a loan can be cheaper than saving and spending more because of the "poverty trap". A car loan might be cheaper than saving + bus/train fares. I'd say, do the maths before you decide.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not true. If you have not got 200 000 usd lying around, you'll never have it, certainly not from "saving" from a menial job. You need to build credit to buy a house.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not true. My youngest son paid 75% of his house mortgage as down, just working for fast food companies, birthday presents, etc. He's been saving since he was 8. Can't say the same with my oldest son nor my daughter.

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    #47

    Accept that your opinions will change and you may be wrong.

    Demonae Report

    #48

    Don't take it all so seriously, personally. Read Vonnegut. "We were put on this planet to fart around."

    ArkyBeagle Report

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    #49

    Don't grow up completely. You can still feel like a kid when you're 53.

    crankypoed Report

    Bored Birgit
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fool around as often as you can. You feel younger with that (I am 62).

    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The most childish are the people who insist on acting mature all the time.

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    #50

    Don't think that just because you've been with your partner for so many years you can't start over/you'll never meet anyone/no one will want you. Instead look at it as not wasting your time on someone who doesn't deserve it.

    frumperbell Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think being with anyone is a waste of time because you always learn something. Even a drug addict who steals your stuff to buy drugs teaches you a lesson about who to not shack up with.

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    #51

    45 YO here. Did most of these myself and have a pretty good life right now: * Eat right and exercise. You can get away with not doing it right now, but you'll regret it later. * Live frugally, save money, and invest. Pay off debt if you have it. Don't overspend, especially on impulse, or trying to impress people. * Make yourself marketable, a college degree is nice, but be ready to work and prove you can get the job done. Way too many useless bullshitters getting by on political games in the corporate world. * Never give out personal loans * If you do get married, marry a good person who wants to be a life partner. Life has its ups and downs and you'll need a true life partner for the bad times. * People usually divorce for three reasons: Money, Sex, and Kids. Make sure you're on the same page before committing. EDIT: typo

    Narrow_Yellow6111 Report

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree with you on this list. My husband and I sat down for 5 hours to discuss what we wanted out of the marriage, and here we are 30 some years later and still thick as thieves.

    XenoMurph
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A little bit smug there mate. Life is not so easy for some people. You had a lot of opportunities many people don't have.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    people divorce because respect and appreciation go out the window. IMHO just don't get married in the first place. my 2c.

    Boerenhond
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It works for some ppl. I'm not one of them.

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    #52

    I'm going to post this b/c I know someone young is struggling w/ addiction rn. Don't waste your life. Don't wake up at 39 and let that s**t hit you like a ton of bricks that you've pissed away half of your life on drugs.

    scorpiobw1980 Report

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My oldest son woke up at 32. He's doing great now and got a degree in Aerospatiale Mechanic, just like his grandfather.

    #53

    Setting boundaries with people is a kind thing to do. For them and you. Some boundaries are obvious and should never be crossed, but many social boundaries can be hard to totally predict. And how other people react to you telling them your limits is a big test of whether or not you can trust them.

    pansfw742 Report

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    #54

    It’s OK for your job to be your job and not your passion.

    noshoes77 Report

    #55

    You've reached that age where you can create a family that is not just blood relatives. And you can remove blood relatives from your family.

    lapsteelguitar Report

    #56

    Do all the s**t you really dont want to do. Go to school, work, save money, be responsible. Crucify me if you wish but I've told my kids that this life in our current society is about doing s**t you don't want to do so you can do the s**t that makes you happy.

    assholeinahousecoat Report

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    #57

    Bend your knees when you’re lifting heavy stuff.

    Craptiel Report

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    #58

    If you decide to get married (this shouldn't and isn't a thing for everyone BTW) make sure it's not just for love but to have a partner and a best friend. I'm so lucky I have a great wife.

    ThorSaw Report

    #59

    Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too, will get old and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.

    wienermcfartface Report

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    #60

    Live below your means; if you get a raise, spend like you didn't get it. Or better yet, put the money in a separate account (most places that pay via direct deposit will let you split it up).

    OnionTruck Report

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did that and it helps a lot.

    #61

    Do your best to move on and repair the damage your parents did to you. It's too easy to get stuck feeling like they did too much for you, didn't do enough, or what they did harmed you and just circling in your mind wishing it went differently. They may have done it to you, but only you can undo it to yourself. Don't expect apologies or closure. Sadly, as bad as many parents were, they were actually doing their best. Sometimes their best is still so bad, but they will likely get defensive and it will only deepen the pain.

    zazzlekdazzle Report

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't expect apologies or closure. Just don't; it's best.

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    #62

    Don't worry about the future or worry, but know that worrying Is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing Bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind the kind that blindsides you at 4 p.m. on some idle Tuesday.

    wienermcfartface Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    thinking about problems actually does not solve them. The solutions present themselves.

    #63

    Be nice to your siblings, they're your best link to your past And the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

    wienermcfartface Report

    Coral
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Except when they're just shitty people. In which case don't feel obligated to waste your time trying to play nice. I was so envious of people with tight sibling relationships....

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My siblings do not stick with me at all and didn't when we lived together with our parents.

    #64

    Humans are, at heart, learning machines. If you find yourself bored, it's likely you've mastered (to the best of your current ability) your current interests. It's totally normal to cast about for the next fascinating thing, and to do a deep dive into it. We may be taught that a person ought to stick to one thing forever but, in truth, most of us will switch careers multiple times, switch partners, and drop hobbies. It's more important to be resilient and have good critical thinking, planning, and learning skills than it is to be blindly devoted to any one person, thing, or activity. The only exceptions being offspring and pets/animals. You are 100% responsible for taking care of those within your sphere of influence who have no power, themselves

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    #65

    If you're going to join the military pick the Air Force or Navy so you'll get actual applicable skills to the real world and wont die.

    Safety_Drance Report

    Luke Branwen
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    IMHO "don't join the military" is one much better advice.

    Bored Birgit
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes. There are so many employers where you don't have to fear you might die for someone else's interests.

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    #66

    I turn 55 tomorrow. Retire early so you can still enjoy what life you have left.

    jjevans1970 Report

    Monday
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fantastic advice if you can take it. I doubt I'll ever be able to retire for financial reasons though, so sprinkling in some enjoyment wherever I can find it.

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    or take holidays and enjoy them. In other words, don't just go to the beach. Beaches are passé. You've seen one you've seen them all. Go do different things.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I retired at 50 and never regretted it.

    #67

    Have a work ethic. Show up, do what's told, go home. That does not mean let them walk over you. You don't need your phone. There is always something to do.

    Dendad6972 Report

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    #68

    Slow down. Actively listen to people in your life. This is a tough skill and I still struggle. It's particularly hard when you "don't know what you don't know". try not to think of the next thing you want to say. But listen, ask questions if you don't understand their concern/statement. People have some wisdom. Hardest part is how to hear it then decide if it's applicable/good for you. Also life plans don't really work out. Most folk I know altered course. You don't have to go to school x, or have job z, or be married/have kids or whatever at age Y. You are not a failure. You are important and make sure to remember your worth. don't forget to be kind to yourself. From a non 40+ year old but close enough.

    peasrule Report

    #69

    You are the only you out there, and your life is going to be different from everyone elses. Don't rush or push yourself to decide on your career, life partner, buying propery, or having a kid - or deciding definitively that you don't want or can't have any of these things. People always feel like everyone around them are way ahead in all these things, but if eveyrone feels that way then no one is behind. That's because everyone does it at their own pace.

    zazzlekdazzle Report

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    #70

    Learn to move on from old s**t on your own with getting apologies or "closure" from those who have wronged you. Now, moving on isn't the same foriving or forgetting, which you may do for the other people. This is what you do for yourself. In the end, those shitty people have long moved on and are doing fine, while you are the one being punished by your actions and attitudes. It sucks, but it's the truth. Only you can help yourself. Living well IS the best revenge.

    zazzlekdazzle Report

    MSP
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just want to say that forgiving can definitely be done for yourself w/o ever letting that person know you've forgiven them. You can cut a toxic person out of your life and you don't owe them a thing. Forgiving them can help free up space in your mind and heart and aid in your "moving on" process. But do that on whatever timeline is best and most healthy and helpful for you.

    #71

    Things get better. Even if they don’t you learn to cope better. The first time going through something is always the worst

    awksknittedpiano Report

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    #72

    Making friends is increasingly awkward as you get older but push through it because other people are wonderful and worth it.

    pansfw742 Report

    #73

    Make your mistakes on someone else’s dime and then do it yourself for yourself. A well defined problem is half the solution. Be a Giver and marry a Giver and you will be happy til the day you die.

    Relax-Enjoy Report

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    #74

    Listen to some of your parents' advices. Not all advices and not the most absurd ones. But in general listen to them.

    Fernandexx Report

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    #75

    Choose adventures and experiences over material things Choose kindness and connection If you like sex, have a lot of it. If you like to party, party a lot. If you like to dance, dance as often as possible. But if you like to drink, be moderate about it to protect your liver It's your body, feel free to touch it, use it, and advocate for it

    Worth_Weather8031 Report

    #76

    My advice is different for someone aged 20-24 than it is for someone aged 25-29. If you're aged 20-24 then even if your life is good you're likely going through the roughest patch of life you'll ever go through. You may not be able to see the light but it's there at the end of the tunnel. Just hunker down and put up the shields for a few more years and don't let stress or depression get you. My advice once you hit 25 is, your brain is fully developed now and you want to get started fast on making money and finding the friends and partner that you're gonna want for the rest of your life. Now that college is presumably over, your ability to meet new people your own age group as easily as you did in school is greatly diminished. Quality over quantity when it comes to friends.

    anon Report

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    #77

    Get established in a career. The older you get the more opportunities shrink.

    sundogmooinpuppy Report

    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't find this is true. I find that as you get older you get more confident about networking with strangers and less fussed about what they think of you. As a result, more opportunities show up. The trick is to socialise outside of your peer group. IE not with your current work buddies or your current school buddies. Got to bars where execs hang out, etc.

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    #78

    Starting over isn’t the worst thing. You’ll also be really surprised how your life will turn out in 20 years. Like unrecognizable. As a teenager I spent most of my time babysitting my sisters. I tried to kill myself. I spent several months in a psychiatric facility. 7 years later I graduated college with an MBA. Getting a job offer right out of college and marrying my (now) ex husband soon after that. At 43 I realized my life was boring. I made great money. Enough to retired early. And start freelancing. I also realized I was a lesbian. So I got a divorce. Started dating this girl. And became her MommyDom. If you were to ask me at any point in my life if I’d see myself where I actually ended up a couple years later I would’ve called you crazy. I thought my life was over in the psych facility. I thought I’d spend the rest of my life with the man I married.

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    #79

    Vote younger people into office. You can only b***h about Boomers so much if you don't take action and get those old white Republicans out of office. Look at all they've done lately. F*****g vote!

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    #80

    If you are planning to have kids, do so as soon as you are able to—financially that is. Do not wait. There is never a perfect time for that. If you wait for too long, you will be too tired to chase your kids and enjoy them fully.

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    censorshipsucks
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The answer is 35-37. Before that you will bankrupt yourself. After that you will be too tired.

    Hey!
    Community Member
    3 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You'll be 53 when they get 18 and that's the oldest. Think about it.

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