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While one partner not showing up to the altar seems like a movie or TV cliche at this point, there are enough real-life cases to keep screenwriters busy for years. Because going from an accepted proposal to an entire marriage falling apart requires a good bit of drama to take place.
So some netizens really wanted to hear others' tales of weddings that were canceled right at the last minute and what caused it to happen. The internet responded with some tales ridden with drama, intrigue, and betrayal, as well as good old human stupidity. We got in touch with Shay Yellin from Bespoke-Bride.com to learn more.
More info: bespoke-bride.com | Instagram
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
We called off our wedding because my fiance got cancer. We spent what was supposed to be our wedding day in the hospital. However! He is cancer free now, so we've decided to MAYBE start thinking about getting married again in a year. We've both decided we're not planning the damn thing though. Eff that. Elopement all the way betches!
Debbie 2 years ago
Indeed, it's good for them but it doesn't fit in this post with the title " 50 Times People Called Off Their Wedding And Dodged A Huge Bullet " . ( Copying the title here in case it gets changed later and we look stupid because then this post fits the title)
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Rae Ramirez 2 years ago
Save your money on an extravagant ceremony! Take a trip to somewhere new and where you both want to go and just elope! Have a family party when you get back!
Michelle C 2 years ago
Thank God he survived and I hope the couple will be very happy together!
Maisey Myles 2 years ago
How is this dodging a bullet? It would be a big bullet if wife left him because he is ill.
RELATED:
#2
I was 18 and had just had a kid with my first boyfriend. Unfortunately, said boyfriend was abusive as s**t, but I'd been putting up with it because I didn't know any better and didn't have family to help me out. The wedding was 2 weeks away, invitations had gone out, I had my dress, everything was ready to go. Then, one night he starts up with his craziness (you never know what sets it off), and I was tired so I didn't argue back. And when I didn't argue, he runs into my infant son's room, wakes him up by snatching him out of his crib, and threatens to leave with him and never come back. As I'm on my knees crying and begging him to please give me the baby and he's holding the screaming child above me like someone holding a piece of steak just out of a dog's reach, I started thinking twice about the whole marriage thing. I did what I had to to appease him that night, and the next day when he came home from work, he had no idea where I'd moved to. He did call his mother and tell her to shoot me if she saw me though. Luckily, she did not. In fact, she was in the process of aiding and abetting my escape at the very moment he called. F**k that guy.
Red72 2 years ago
I left my son's father because he was abusive to me. It literally took a slap across my face from my 18 month old son to realize I needed to get out. My ex's mother got me copies of his paychecks so I could get child support because he tried to hide & say he didn't have a job. My son is 28yrs old now & never saw his father after that day. He grew up respecting women, not abusing them. My ex's mother & I are still in contact & she has a relationship with my son.
margarita pizzaaaa 2 years ago (edited)
i’m glad you’re all okay now. i’m proud of you from stopping the cycle repeating. go you ~from a internet stranger who’s proud of you.
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SlothyK8 2 years ago
I had an almost identical experience, except mine happened AFTER the wedding. SO thankful yours came beforehand...divorce is expensive.
️ ️lefty libra️ (she/her) 2 years ago
im glad you got out of there safely. at least his mother wasnt a douchebag.
Emma Goransdottir 2 years ago
You are so brave! Good you escaped!! And all love to his poor mum❤️
#3
Called it off because I got a Facebook message from the girl he was sleeping with. Didn't even believe her till she sent me detailed descriptions of *MY* house, complete with the color and pattern of my current bedsheets. Kicked his sorry a*s out and kept the ring. Pawned that s**t. M**********r was living rent free in my house while I paid all the bills. Dumped his a*s, lost 100+ lbs. feelsgoodman.jpg
Michelle C 2 years ago
It’s a good thing the other girl was straightforward and I hope she took steps never do something like that again!! I also hope the OP is in a much better place now!
hearditontheX 2 years ago
You won't pay all the rent and bills next time. Poor lady that got that POS. Carry on you will find your person
Bored Panda got in touch with Shay Yellin from Bespoke-Bride.com and she was kind enough to answer some of our questions. First, as wedding specialists, they have probably been around a lot more weddings than most of us, so we wanted to hear some stories of real wedding drama.
“On one occasion, it was a serene garden wedding, adorned with ivory blooms and twinkling lights, the air pregnant with anticipation. As a witness to this wedding that turned frosty, I can only describe it as a scene straight out of a rom-com gone rogue. The atmosphere was electric, but as the clock struck wedding o'clock, the groom's cold feet proved more potent than the hot July sun.”
#4
Obviously, throw-away time. I called off my wedding four days before the big day. Two of my bridesmaids (my best friend since high school and my cousin) got into a huge fight because they found out that he was sleeping with both of them. It was cheating within cheating and was easily the most surreal and heart-breakingly awful experience of my entire life.
DaisyGirl 2 years ago
You dodged multiple bullets. There is a special place in hell for those 3 scum on the bottom of the pond
Eva Kašu 2 years ago (edited)
Yeah, she´s basically a Neo. I wish her just the better friends now.
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Joe Reaves 2 years ago
Well, they both deserve everything they got. If he'll cheat with you, he'll cheat on you. In this case apparently at the same time!
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
The bridesmaids are a piece of work too. It's not like they didn't know he was engaged...to their friend. Jeez
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#5
We called off our wedding because I had a meltdown over centerpieces. We realized that our priorities were totally in the wrong place and it was becoming more about a wedding than a marriage. We cancelled the wedding and eloped the next week. No regrets.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Good to read the odd happy ending in this mess of dramas.
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Fester Sixonesixonethree 2 years ago
Best decision! I think everyone should elope and then have a party.
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
I love this. Weddings are such a pain sometimes...it's really about getting married and getting a good start.
Ammyshine Kim 2 years ago
Not entirely sure what bullet was dodged here? Melting down over centrepieces???
#6
My fiance called it off when she found out I wasn't rich. Apparently there's a guy with the same name as me who is heir to this huge fortune, whereas I'm just some idiot from a lower middle class family. She came into my life like a dream and I was so taken with her I thought that it was like a fantasy come true. When she met my family and found out who they were, she litteraly ran from the house. I had to track her down and found out after the fact that she was trying to get with someone she thought was an heir. I did a lot of growing up that year, fortunately for me, she didn't get what she wanted either. The guy she was after turned out to be gay and she now makes a living waiting tables.
Panda Boi 2 years ago
Plot twist: OP is bi and is now married to the rich dude with the same name.
EmbersAreOut 2 years ago
Oh that would be the best ending. Now i want to write that as a story.
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Richard Pennington 2 years ago
I found a similar story in my family history research. My late wife's half-sister married four times. Husband no. 3 was someone she met on a cruise. Both she and said husband were under the impression that the other had money. And he turned out to be gay. That marriage didn't last long. However, husband no. 4 was a genuine millionaire.
Orange Tabby 2 years ago
And this my friends is a Gold Digger. GFs expecting their BFs to pay for a date is not a Golddigger.
Jake stenhouse 2 years ago
I’m having a hard time believing this. Are they saying the woman got to know him to the level he had proposed and only then realised he wasn’t rich? Surely she would have figured out well before this point that he wasn’t the guy she was thinking he was??
Ammyshine Kim 2 years ago
Exactly. Got engaged before meeting his family and realising he wasn't Rich? Unless it was a really fast engagement it doesn't ring true.
Load More Replies...“I, the ever-enthusiastic guest, found myself caught in a Shakespearean drama, watching as a jilted bride navigated a symphony of sighs and sympathetic glances. The catering crew held trays of canapés that seemed to wither in the icy ambiance, and the violinist's heartfelt melodies transformed into somber requiems. The phrase "left at the altar" suddenly gained a real, vivid hue.”
#7
My best friend called her wedding off 9 days before the big day. She discovered the he had emptied their joint wedding account playing online poker after he emptied his own personal account. She explained that the feeling of losing a down payment on a house, as well as the catering money wasn't anything compared to how she felt when he asked her for her inheritance from her mother (she had passed a year previously) to pay off more gambling debts. No apologies, no mea culpas, just more money. She walked, and 8 years later she's happily married to another guy with 1 boy and a bun in the oven!
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
I'd have taken him to court on the join account money. That's A LOT of money
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Cathy 2 years ago
I am so sad because of all the new online gambling options and the commercials for them. It should be prohibited imho
Nikole 2 years ago
My husband works with a lot of people who use those sports betting apps, and none of them is in the black.
Load More Replies... Jaya 2 years ago
Gambling addiction is a horrible addiction that can really ruin your life. If you feel you're starting to go downhill, get some help! There is therapy available that can help you control your urge and help you learn better ways of dealing with stress and painful emotions, and help you find better ways to feel happy.
#8
After a day of trying on wedding dresses, just me and my maid of honor, we met my family and hubby-to-be at my brother's house for dinner. While showing a picture of myself in a dress to my mother, which was on my bff's phone, she gets a text message from my fiance. This is odd because i can see him in the next room and i can see my friend in the kitchen. I read it of course and its a huge confession from him to her, addressing how they had fooled around a few weeks ago and he was really regretting he hadn't taken things further with her. He had NO idea i had her phone in my hand. I simply stood up and walked the 10 feet to him, held up her phone and looked him in the eye. The look on his face was priceless, and when i could speak i and my entire family let them both have it verbally (we're black, so you can imagine that was quite the showdown). Needless to say, i don't speak to either of them anymore.
SmooshieFries 2 years ago
I think what she is trying to say is that some cultures and ethnicities KNOW how to put someone in their place without mincing words and are not afraid to do so while some cultures and ethnicities stay silent and do nothing. Her family was NOT the quiet type when someone needed to be made aware of the errors of their ways
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago (edited)
Stay silent and do nothing are two very different things, dear. And l'd rather go silent before dropping the A bomb. But to each their own.
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Easily Forgotten 2 years ago
I am quite sure, and this is from A black chic, it would have been a show down if yall were Asian. White, Hispanic, LatinX, Polynesian, Vegetarian, Veterinarians, Muslims, Jewish, Kurdish, BlacAsian, White Asian, Polka Doota Purple Monterian
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
Yes, agreed. But still, I feel like she explained that so we get a mental picture of what sort of show-down it would be. Just culturally, my white Canadian family would have a different "show-down" than a black Southern family, no matter the anger level.
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I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
It's usually the mofos you trust the most that end up hurting you, I don't understand how ppl like that can sleep at night let alone look you in the eye knowing that they were just hooking up with your SO last night.. utterly disgusting and the ultimate form of betrayal
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
I believe she was simply mentioning it to give the audience (us) the general idea of how much of a blowout the ensuing fight/row might have been. I'm adopted, and my adoptive family is Mexican. If I was trying to explain to someone how loud and, uh, emotional a similar event would/could be with one of MY family members, I might feel the need to mention that my family is Hispanic, as Hispanics are known for being strongly emotional and strongly expressive of said emotions. I believe OP mentioned being black to give us an idea of the situation, along the lines of similar stereotypes about black families.
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Kim Armand Nielsen 2 years ago
“When i could speak (we’re black, sp you can imagine ….” :-)))))
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
That part really cracked me up. Like yup, that helped the mental imagine. I can see the whole thing.🤣
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WonderWoman 2 years ago
must be daft, did I read that op's mother was fooling around with her fiance? and why did op have wedding dress pics on her fiance's phone?
MadameMalfoy 2 years ago
OP was showing the pics of the dress to her mother and the pics were on her BFF’s phone. It was the husband and the BFF.
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#9
I found out my fiancée was acting like a real life bridezilla. I had gotten a text from her friend, it read something like "Got your number from Gina's phone. She's seriously acting c*nty. Are you sure about this?" Not believing it at first, I was then sent videos, and in one video Gina was seriously losing her s**t, screaming at her lifelong friends. This wasn't a side of her I had seen before. Then, I received a video, in which Gina said, and I quote: "He's going to buy me everything I want, he makes enough money, unlike your boyfriend who makes $9 an hour at a s****y retail job. I don't know how you date him, he has no money, he can't buy you anything" The girls response was affectionate, she obviously really loved the guy. Gina's response? "Well if he doesn't have any money what is the point?" I texted Gina's friend saying continue to record video, I'm going to call her. I called Gina and told her the wedding was off, her friends had been recording video of her acting like the biggest b***h on the face of the planet, and they're recording you right now. Why they are recording you, is because I want to see the look on your face and be able to save it forever. The wedding is not only off, but we're through, and since you don't have your name on the lease of our apartment, and I pay for everything, you'll be discovering all your belongings outside on the ground. Delete my number and never attempt to contact me again. The video was absolutely priceless.
ninjaTrashPandaBoom 2 years ago
Like so many of these posts. Especially the AITA ones. "Slightly based on reality" at best.
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margarita pizzaaaa 2 years ago
i clicked on this link, and the reddit community ruled it was fake, as per the retail comment or something. (i’m just as confused as u)
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Willem Oosterhof 2 years ago
Can we pretty please see this recording? I like the picture of schadenfreude and the sound of a sad trombone.
Jessica Shookhoff 2 years ago
Jesus Christ, you don't marry someone cause you feel about them the way you feel about an ATM that just hands out money!
“Though the wedding cake remained uncut and the dance floor ungraced by twirling couples, the experience left us with an unforgettable tale to recount. Cold feet, it seems, can indeed be chillier than even the iciest of wedding cake tiers,” she shared with Bored Panda, an all-too-common reason for cancellation that can still provoke pretty strong emotions.
#10
35 years ago I did that. I was a young Naval officer and set to marry the girl I fell in love with at college. I got cold feet three days before the event and cancelled it. It wasn't because I had had second thoughts about her; it was the stupid idea that I thought I could either be a good husband or a good submarine officer. I didn't think I could do both. About 9 months later I got a call from her (about 1000 miles away) and I found out that she had a new boyfriend. It just devestated me. I did everything I could to regain her confidence, but it took almost a year. During that year I was stationed at the submarine base in Bangor, Washington and she was 2400 miles away in Cincinnati, Ohio with that POS rich boyfriend hounding her daily. It really took a toll on me. I had many sleepless nights imagning the worst. I didn't give up though. A few months before we were scheduled to relocate to submarine squadron one in Pearl Harbor I took a chance and drove to Cincinnati. I convinced her to come back to Bangor with me and made the trip through the southwest and then back up the California coast along the Pacific. It was as much like a honeymoon as I could make it on my limited salary, and it was memorable. By the time we reached Washington Mount St Helens erupted. We were on the highway about 40 miles from it when it blew. The sky just turned black and the mud flows washed out the bridges north of us. We were re-routed along the coast and finally made it to Bangor. She had to return to CIncinnati, bu this time it was with the plan to return to Washington. When she flew back we eloped with a justice of the peace. That was almost 33 years ago. We have three sons and we couldn't be happier. Our boys re all grown up and I'm not far from retirment. Marrying her was the best, smartest thing I ever did.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
The original archived post on reddit is from 11 years ago. So the dates match up pretty close.
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Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
I'm confused just a bit. He got cold feet (shítty, but his feelings and fears were valid, he just handled them poorly) and cancelled their wedding. Then, 9 months after cancelling their wedding, she had another boyfriend. I'm not saying that's "too soon" to start dating again, but somehow... that... encouraged OP to pursue his ex WHILE she had a boyfriend? I understand OP regretted his cold feet, but that's not an excuse to AGGRESSIVELY PURSUE his ex WHILE she had a boyfriend, regardless of OP's opinion of his ex's new boyfriend. idk, this one just seemed less "aww" and more "ugh, ew" to me.
Beeps 2 years ago
Yeah, I don’t get it either. And then he has the audacity to call her new boyfriend a POS???
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Nolgoth 2 years ago
I served on a submarine (ssn719) from 01 to 06 but i was enlisted (comms electronics technician aka radioman). Couple things: first it sounds like guy was originally serving on a boomer (nuclear deterrent submarines that have trident missiles and are only stationed in bangor washington and kings bay georgia) which is a pretty cushy job compared to the fast attack i served on. Also, guy was an officer. Sure from ensign to lieutenant it can be pretty rough cuz they bounce around to nearly all divisions, still is better than enlisted due to pay, rank perks, responsibilities, etc. Many of the guys i served with eventually got divorced, some more than once. I was even engaged when i enlisted. Military is rough on the individual and the potential family
Ken Beattie 2 years ago (edited)
I'd imagine it's tougher for Navy and even moreso for submariners. At least a lot of Army deployments (non combat obviously) you can get base housing for your family. That's not gonna be possible if you're on a ship or a sub.
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#11
I called off my engagement because the moment I stopped being his girlfriend and started being "his future wife" was the moment I stopped being a person to him and became his property. He hit me, he forced himself on me, he tried to stop me talking to my family or friends. It was scary, and I loved him and was so confused. We'd been together years and he was so nice, what on earth happened? I spent a few months trying to fix it back to how it was before the engagement, then gave up and ran away. He wasn't going to change, and even if he did, I couldn't forgive him anymore. We hadn't set a date yet, our families couldn't agree on location, style or season and he just wanted "right now, registry office" which nobody but him wanted...
Ash 2 years ago
Thank God he showed that side of him BEFORE the wedding...
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Michelle C 2 years ago
OP learned a hard, necessary lesson: some people hide their real worldviews well before they’re exclusive with their significant others, have children, etc. Have reasonable expectations and be ready to be honest like you expect honesty in your relationships. If you have any cause for concern at all, explore that and watch that person reveal himself or herself fully. I have a family member like this. Neither of his ex-wives speak with him anymore and his children and some other family members barely speak with him. They realized this early on in their marriages and other relationships with him. Unlike him, they all sought healing and a’took accountability for giving him the benefit of the doubt far too often for their own good in each case. He may wonder why that is and has blamed everybody else but himself for the problems he caused himself in the past. He’ll either learn and change or he won’t; until then, he can only expect more of the same, sadly.
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
Im glad you didn't marry that POS, but you couldn't set a date due to your families not agreeing on things? This was supposed to be your wedding so yes families have input but ultimately the decision is yours and your SO.
tuzdayschild 2 years ago
You should be so proud of yourself. So many don't have the strength to do what you did.
Azure Adams 2 years ago
Sounds like a culture where marriages are arranged. Def glad she got away. Get far far away!
#12
the LIES! oh my goodness the lies. Here's some background: My fiancee had baggage. I knew that. As in, I was going to be ok with becoming stepmom to 3 children, a daughter in law to two cr*ppy parents and sister in law to a stupid mess of a woman, and knew that I would be bringing home the bacon. I even bought a house that would be big enough to house him and the three kids. But he told me he never married his baby-momma, and that he would leave my house at night for occasional night shift work as a cop. I asked to see the court decision regarding the kids, just so I knew what was going on.... he kept the first page from me, that read "Divorce Decree". So when his parents made a "second marriage" comment, I was thrown for a loop. This was a pretty big thing to keep from your wife-to-be in 6 months. I told him to leave, and he swore up and down that was the only thing he lied about. I called his "employer", and it turns out he's not a cop either. So I have NO IDEA where he went when he left the house that I was paying for, and I immediately went to get tested. Yea, the f*****g lies.
Azure Adams 2 years ago
Never go in to something that has that much baggage. Trash begets trash
Naturally, we also wanted to know if she believed that there are some indications that a marriage is doomed from the beginning. “While I don my metaphorical robes of matrimonial insight, let me share that yes, there are times when the wedding bells might clang a cautionary note rather than a celebratory tune. Having been a humble observer of the marital circus, I've gleaned a few insights.”
“As the confetti settles, watch for signs as subtle as a whispered "I do." When the ceremony resembles a scene from a Shakespearean tragedy, with strained smiles and a bouquet toss that seems more like a shot put, beware. A reception devoid of joyful revelry and echoing laughter might be as alarming as a "Do Not Enter" sign at a merry-go-round.”
#13
A friend of mine attended a wedding where the groom waited till his fiancée arrived at the altar, then pulled a huge red fabric letter A out of his pocket, pinned it to the front of her dress, and walked out of the church without a word.
La Voca 2 years ago
"The Scarlet Letter" by Nathanial Hawthorn. Main character, Hester Prynne commits adultery and must wear a scarlet A as punishment. Story set in Puritan times.
EmbersAreOut 2 years ago
This is probably the best one so far. No screaming, no fights, just good old-fashioned literary punishment.
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Ash 2 years ago
@Magazine I think you take your point a bit too far with some of your comments, but after reading a number of your comments, I think there is some real logic and ethics behind it. I agree that it would have been better if he had called off the wedding in a quieter way. Doing it this way was hugely shaming to her, and while she kind of deserve it for her behavior, I still think he could have been more compassionate. Also, using the Scarlet Letter as his reference IS rather sexist, since the Puritan culture WAS hugely sexist and had a double standard, and no man would have been made to wear the Scarlet Letter. It would have been less sexist even for him to have grabbed the microphone and just told them all she was cheating! It WAS a rather sexist symbol. He probably never thought of that, just acting out his anger, but you're right that he could have done it another way. I think from your tone that you must have been very upset by this story, and I sympathize.
HangryHangryHippo 2 years ago
I don't get it and couldn't find anything in Google, can someone explain?
Diane the Dinosaur 2 years ago
It's a reference to a book called The Scarlet Letter. It means Adulterer.
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Bubs623 2 years ago
Ok... this one is the best. Granted, lots of little issues with wedding payments and gifts having to be returned etc, but if it was TRUE- that she was a Scarlett Woman- what a literate, smart, devastating way to call off the marriage and tell her off in one fell swoop. Please, please, make it so that she actually understood what he meant and wasn't just a clueless wench.
#14
My dad called off a wedding before he met my mother. He was with this woman that really pressured him into getting married. Basically she just started wedding planning without a proposal. And my dad let it go too far. One night she and her mother were discussing what food was going to be served at the reception. So they asked my dad what he thought. "Roasted chicken or beef?" To which my dad replied, "I don't care which one you're having, because I'm not going to be there." Apparently she bought her own ring, too.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
You should've seen what she had to do for the wedding night. Well, not actually seen it; that would be super-pervy.
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Michelle C 2 years ago
I hope the young lady got help for her control issues…. I’m glad the dad got out before the relationship became any more abusive and he ended up marrying an abusive partner!
Shannimal 2 years ago
My SIL, so far, bought herself two engagement rings. First marrisge barely lasted a year (no surprise). She was planning the 2nd wedding without even receiving a proposal. The dude, fresh out of prison, stole her credit cards and pawned the ring she bought. All the red flags were there, but she didn't listen to those closest to her. Hopeless.
Princess Mar-li Cathryn 2 years ago
My aunt did something similar. Showed up one Saturday with this crazy expensive ring. I think I was like 10 at the time (41 now) and none of us actually believed her boyfriend proposed. Turned out he hadn't. She bought the ring herself. They eventually got married when I was in my late 20s when she booked a time at city hall or wherever and told him to show up.
LuciBelle 2 years ago
Cousin was pregnant, boyfriend lived in another town. He came to take her on a date “somewhere nice so dress up” and she’s in a wedding dress. She had the whole wedding planned, guests, flowers, decor, and all. He said hell no. This was her second try. First hubby, she home early from work and found him in bed with another man. She knows how to pick them.
#15
This is one time religion helped me a great deal... I was engaged to a girl and we were living together, but had known each other for less than a year. She was a true nympho, and I was fine with that at 22. We went to meet the preacher who was going to marry us, and he suggested we stop having sex for the two months before the wedding to make the night more special. So we did. We found out rather quickly we had very little in common outside the bedroom. And I wisely chose to call things off. Not too long after that, I met my soul mate and we've been married for 19 years now.
Christos Arvanitis 2 years ago (edited)
I dated a nymphomaniac once. At first, I thought it was a dream come true but then I realized that the "excessive" desire for sex... as often as possible... was also part of other psychological issues. It defined the relationship. There were trust issues as she was likely cheating as well. She also likely had some variation of borderline personality disorder. Gleaning what I could, she likely was sexually abused by an older brother so she had it pretty rough growing up. Years later I heard that she had become a born again Christian and was living in another extreme. Her life must have been hell and I hope that she found peace. Sexually healthy desires are one thing, a true sexual mania is a whole different thing...
Saint Tim the Godless 2 years ago
The opposite of an extreme is usually just another bad extreme. It's just a different coping mechanism for the same problems.
Load More Replies... Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
Makes me wonder if the Pastor knew and was hoping it would clear things up 2 months before the wedding
Thomas Jenkins 2 years ago
In my Twenties I was mostly single and had quite a few f purely physical relationships. I met a friend of a friend and we hit it off right away. Turns out she was a nymphomaniac. At first I thought it would be awesome. It was not. Couldn't even watch a TV show without masturbating in front of my roommates. Plus she only liked the missionary position and that's just weird to me. It was the antithesis of fun and spontaneous. Quite boring TBH. A week was 6 days too much.
TwirlyGirly 2 years ago
Discovering you "[have] very little in common outside the bedroom" frequently happens with those who decide if they're going to continue dating someone based on whether they feel "a spark" on the first date. An immediate hormonal response to someone is not a reliable indicator of long-term compatibility. Chemistry based on shared interests and similar values often develops if you give it a chance.
Azure Adams 2 years ago
22 is way too young and you need at least 3 years to really know someone. People rush everything too quick thanks to society's messages that put on the pressure. It's the real reason for the high divorce rate.
Paul Brown 2 years ago
I dont know about that. I met my wife in May and were married in August. Been married 15 years now. No regrets.
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Saturn The Furry S/T 2 years ago (edited)
It’s not a sexist term, it’s a mental disorder 💀(before you say anything else, it’s an expression of delusional disorder, aka late-onset paranoia)
Load More Replies... “Watch the body language! When the couple's chemistry sizzles like a soggy firecracker, it could be more than just nerves. And let's not forget the way they waltz—or rather, stumble—through the first dance. If it's less Fred Astaire and more like a toddler's first steps, well, it might be time for a marital safety net. But wait, I'm no wedding whisperer! :) While these hints may have a grain of truth, remember that weddings are kaleidoscopes of emotions and nerves. A touch of cold feet is as natural as that unexpected gust of wind during outdoor vows.”
#16
My mom was engaged to be married to her high school sweetheart, let's call him Bob. Bob went to her doorstep two weeks before their wedding and told her he had joined the military and wasn't ready for marriage. He flew to Germany the next day. Fast-forward 30 years and two divorces later, my mom was single with five children from two marriages. She runs into her old high school sweetheart Bob. He is also single and recently divorced. They fall in love and have been together ever since. **Spoiler Alert: Bob is actually his name.**
CommanderDucky - He/Him - cis. 2 years ago
I agree, bob is an awesome name! /lhj
Load More Replies... Carla Campbell 2 years ago
Awww. I dated a guy in high school. He found me on Facebook 40 years later. We've been together 12 years. And, yes. We are old.
Andy Frobig 2 years ago
How does somebody tell you he joined the military, and leave for Germany the next day? That's some super accelerated basic training
Upstaged75 2 years ago (edited)
My aunt ended up with her high school sweetheart - after getting married, having 3 kids, and getting divorced. (He also got married, had kids, and got divorced) They've been together for over 30 years now and are perfect for each other. It's too bad they didn't just skip those other marriages and stay together after high school! It would have saved a lot of hassle. :)
Doodles1983 2 years ago
My, now partner, and I were best friends in high school. We crushed on each other but didn’t do anything about it. 20 years later and a divorce each he messaged me on FB. 2 years on and he is snoring away next to me in the house we just bought together!
#17
I was about two months away from getting married to someone I had been living with for about a year. I was getting fitted for my wedding dress when I looked in the mirror and thought to myself "I really hope he and I can stay friends after we're divorced." Then I thought, "Wait, did I really just think that?"
I got honest with myself and realized that at most, I had lukewarm feelings for this guy and that I only had been thinking about the wedding day but not the marriage or the life we were going to live together. I was 21 and just wanted to get married without having really understood what that meant.
I called it off, moved away, and met the love of my life three months later. We've been together for 11 years now, married for almost four, and are expecting our first baby this summer. Best decision I ever made!
#18
He dislocated my jaw.
whineygingercat 2 years ago (edited)
1) any guy who will hit a woman, is not a MAN. 2) a guy hits me, he only does it ONCE
Jennifer Clayton 2 years ago
I said the same thing, but you don't understand till you find yourself there. My ex didn't ever hit me. It started with punching holes in the walls, breaking stuff and throwing things at me...10 years after we were married. It starts small, and your self esteem is whittled away first. I say this, because saying it will never happen to me is just like when guys say they could never be raped cuz they'd kill the guy. It negates what really goes on. It makes you feel tough to say that, but puts down every person who went through it by saying you're better.
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Robin DJW 2 years ago
My first husband slapped me a few weeks after the wedding. I decked him with a bare-knuckle right hook. The look of astonishment on his face, from where he sat on the floor, was priceless. He never hit me again, except verbally. We eventually divorced. PEOPLE, DON'T TOLERATE BEING HIT.
“In the end, like any discerning connoisseur, I advise savoring the wedding cake and champagne of life with a pinch of realism. While clues may exist, the future remains a canvas begging for the strokes of life's unpredictable brush. So, dance with abandon, toast with optimism, and remember that even when the wedding wobbles, love's unpredictable alchemy might yet create a masterpiece.” You can find their work here, or on Instagram here.
#19
First of all, we were too young. We had been living together for a few years, were serious about each other and felt like it was the next step. We got engaged, planned the wedding for the next summer. Paid tons of deposits, I had a dress and everything. The entire time it felt off. Just stressful and I constantly had this what if I'm making a huge mistake feeling. I should have listened to it sooner, but 4 months before the big day I called it off. His drinking/drug use had gotten extremely out of control. I realized I couldn't fix him and as much as it hurt I knew that we'd never have a happy life with his addiction issues. I moved my stuff out that next day and told him to leave me alone and never talk to me again because I needed a clean break. That fall I started grad school and started a new life without him. Several months after we split, he contacted me telling me he'd been in AA for a couple months and needed to make amends as part of his program. I went back to our old place to meet him and saw a different man than I had ever seen. It's been almost 2 years since we split/called off our wedding and he's been sober that entire time. I'm happy to say we're getting married this summer and this time everything feels right. I have gone to at least one meeting a week with him and while I know he's never "cured" of alcoholism, the fact that he got sober in spite of me not because of me, increases the likelihood that he'll keep at it. For anyone considering calling off their wedding, I implore you to do so. The wedding train is a tough one to jump off of once it leaves the station, but it can be done and I'm happy to talk to anyone who has questions.
GK 2 years ago
Unfortunately, not. https://www.reddit.com/r/breakingmom/comments/360w7k/my_husband_killed_himself/
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Barbara Kelly 2 years ago
My story is similar to yours. When we met again, I went to Al-Anon meetings, and he went to 3 (sometimes more) AA meetings a week.....stayed sober until the day that he died.
Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago
You can never do the fixing for someone else--that person has to do it for her- or himself.
Michelle C 2 years ago
I’m glad this ending was a happy one and I hope they have a beautiful life together!
TwirlyGirly 2 years ago
Far too many people fall prey to the "sunk cost fallacy", which is a logical fallacy that involves putting so much time, money, and/or effort into something it seems easier just to move forward with it than back out - even if you have strong misgivings. It can be especially difficult if others have warned you of "red flags" they've noticed they think you're ignoring, and you'd rather go full-steam ahead than hear "I told you so" sooner rather than later.
Kim Armand Nielsen 2 years ago
“Payed a ton in deposits”: Considering this a while, there must be quite a large amount of cancellings in the wedding branch since huge deposits are common :-o
#20
A friend of mine was engaged to a girl. He was your typical SAP, he'd been on literally dozens of first dates from OKcupid and had had no luck with the ladies. Really nice guy, but completely socially lacking. She turned out to be a pathological liar. She was an army vet, she practiced underwater knife fighting, she came from old money but her part of the money had been spent on an incredibly lavish wedding ceremony,she had a daughter or maybe she didn't or maybe the girl was her niece or her friend's kid, she was military police. The lies got so bad that she decided to move across country in the middle of the night with my friend to avoid a warrant out for her arrest. (fraud and impersonating a police officer) She told him that there were jobs for both of them waiting there with her family business. He had been working on a Ph.D. but had dropped out at her suggestion so he wasn't working at all and they were broke. So, they moved in with her mom and there weren't jobs for either of them. I think to distract him from that fact, she told him she was pregnant (a miracle!). He proposed. The ultrasound photo she showed him showed up on the first page of google image results for 'ultrasound.' He finally broke it off, he called his dad to get some money to fly home. She called him a few weeks later from jail to talk about their 'baby' and how she was going to get an abortion if he didn't get back together with her. The lady, she was nuts.
Anyone-for-tea? 2 years ago
It’s an old military joke, I can’t quite remember what about, but something like taking the mickey out of any advanced training you might have being as useless as underwater knife fighting.
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I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago (edited)
Haha under water knife fighting.. reminds me of another phrase I picked up when I was in the corps. I have an associates degree in liberal arts due to having to take so many prerequisites for the program that I was trying to get into. So when people ask what my degree is in I tell them I earned my associates in underwater basket weaving... Edit- I am happy this guy finally came to his senses and left her. I apologize for going on a side tangent, adhd brain... Squirrel 🐿️
Michelle C 2 years ago
Good for him for getting out! Abuse starts with lies more often than not, in my experience!
Audrey Rasmussen 2 years ago
I had no idea what was happening until i realised that it was the woman that was the liar i misread it and was super confused the whole time
SuperChicken 2 years ago
Sounds like someone we used to know, who's a pathological liar, and trapped her BF (who is our friend) by getting pregnant.
#21
She was pregnant. We were working on a limited income. We decided it was better to just go to city hall and save the money for the baby.
cerinamroth 2 years ago
Two parents being realistic and putting their baby first. This is a lovely one 💕
Ima Manimal 2 years ago
Weddings are so overrated. Eloping saves a TON of money. Nobody really likes going to weddings anyway.
Michelle C 2 years ago
I know a couple who has had a longtime dating relationship, including their engagement, because they would like to be as financially secure as they possibly can be before they marry. Being as financially secure as possible is never a bad idea.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Again: there is such a thing as a small wedding. You don't need to choose between imitating the royal family and skipping a wedding altogether. But kudos for forgoing the glamour for the sake of your child.
Robin DJW 2 years ago
My first wedding was very inexpensive, and ended amicably after 26 years. The second wedding was at city hall and after 25 years, is still going strong. Folks, the wedding is not the thing that matters. It's the marriage that requires a lot of work, and is expensive (it adds up over the years).
#22
She decided she was still in love with her ex.
I had her call my mom and my grandma to tell them she was calling off the wedding. She did it and then proceeded to drive 3hrs to see her ex, who then told her he didn't want to be with her.
At least I got back the ring I gave her ... I proposed with the same ring my grandfather proposed to my grandma before leaving for WWII.
JelliTate 2 years ago
Why on earth would she agree to talk to YOUR family? I get that it hurt to be left for an ex, but if she was big enough to tell you to your face, that should be the end. Telling your family is your job.
Michelle C 2 years ago
He probably wanted them to hear it from her so they wouldn’t blame him for the break up in case they hadn’t seen it coming previously or they were close enough to her that they might blame him in the end. He probably also didn’t want the agony of having to tell other loved ones what happened repeatedly.
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Lollipop Girl 2 years ago (edited)
On the reddit comments: u/_zarathustra: "I had her call my mom and my grandma" Seems kind of cruel. Reply: True. No doubt about it, but it's not like I put a gun to her head and forced her to call. I said she should be the one telling my mom and grandma, and she picked up the phone and called. What could I have done if she had said no? Nothing
#23
We found out I couldn't have children, and he wanted to have children of his own and didn't think adoption was a viable option.
Lost Penny 2 years ago
It's a good thing they found that out before getting married. For some people, adoption is NOT a viable option, & I don't think they should be blamed for that. Nothing good would've come out of their life together had he decided to compromise. There would always be regret, and then there would be resentment that would build & build. It is heartbreaking, but splitting up was the best solution in a scenario like this.
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
I do judge people who flat out refuse adoption as an option. I've personally known a couple cases and the kindest thing l can say about those women is that they wanted to be pregnant. I'm not so sure they wanted to be mothers.
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DarkViolet 2 years ago
Screw him! You're a human being, not a walking incubator! If that's the only reason he wanted to marry you, you're better off without him! God help any woman who agrees to marry him.
G.O.A.L. 2 years ago
Eh, I’m torn with this one. Having children in a marriage is a big deal. What if she wanted children and she found out that he was infertile?
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Panda Kicki 2 years ago (edited)
As I asked my bf in a early stage "I will want ti have children in the future and if that is a no from you we end friendly here" I cant fault him. The question of having children is important. Adoption is virtually impossible here and I imagine it is difficult in many places. (And genetics is really important for some) I guess egg donation wasnt a option? Then he could use his own sperm.
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago
As someone who was adopted, I cannot fathom how "genetics is really important" if you just "want children". Is "your genetics" SO IMPORTANT that you will break up with someone if they are infertile? You want to have children, but ONLY if they're GENETICALLY YOURS? I understand in your location adoption is difficult, but I still do not understand "MY GENETICS ONLY!!!!!" when someone also profess to just "want children".
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Edward Willis 2 years ago
In my country, adoption doesn't really happen, the closest we get is fostering, which means that child isn't legally yours. You can't take them out of the state/country (I forget which) without government consent, can't give them any medication (including basic painkillers) without government consent, and a bunch of other "can't do X without government consent" stuff. In cases like this, I can understand why that might be too much for some people, because it's NOT about the child's genetics any more. For genetics, I don't understand why that matters to those who want children and not just mini-thems, and if it's that they want a mini-them then they SHOULDN'T HAVE KIDS.
Violet Bunny 2 years ago
I've never wanted kids (never had any). I informed both my ex's of this before the wedding; both said they were OK with it. One continued to be OK with it while the other tried to change my mind. BYEEEEEEE!
Kim Armand Nielsen 2 years ago
Now, how long ago was this? And which kind of children have Nemesis provided him with?
#24
I was about to make a huge mistake. I realized my fiancé was drinking too much, neglecting me emotionally, and was never actually there when I needed him (for example, a friend of mine died, and he didn't want to go with me to the funeral because he had a Magic: The Gathering tournament). I was marrying the completely wrong man, and thank god I realized it before it was too late and was brave enough to call it off. My family was super supportive, my super awesome grandmother took care of letting all the guests know. My dad had no problem with the money he lost in all the deposits. I gave my wedding cake to a homeless shelter since it was already paid for in full. Three years later, I married a wonderful man who is everything the first guy was not.
Sonja 2 years ago
I get the feeling her family was glad it stopped there. I wonder how much more they'd been willing to pay to get them to break it up if they thought it'd help get rid of that guy
Robin DJW 2 years ago
My parents were not happy about my choice. I wish they had explained why, and encouraged me to really examine my deepest feelings.
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cerinamroth 2 years ago
What a lovely, supportive family! My mum asked me after our wedding what I regretted about the day! And she wonders why we moved abroad.
Rebecca McManus 2 years ago
Sounds like my ex, unfortunately I wasn't smart and married him, 5 years later we were divorced
Michelle C 2 years ago
Again, some people are really good at hiding what they really believe about the world around them until they are exclusive with someone or they have a solid enough relationship with another person altogether to be able to do that. When a family member, friend, coworker, etc., shows you what they really believe, believe him or her and act accordingly.
#25
I got engaged for the wrong reasons... I thought since I graduated college that it would be the next logical step. But as I started planning the wedding, I could feel in my gut that I was making a horrible decision. I still followed him 1000+ miles away to the city he was planning on attending law school at, but it all fell apart shortly after moving. It was a pretty awful breakup (he stole/sold nearly all of my games and threatened to rape me if I didn't leave the apartment), but now I know I made the right call and things are a lot better.
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
Pretty sure most games don't have an age limit. Many games are played by adults as well.
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#26
My ex girlfriends mothers wedding was called off because they found the groom's brother dead on a rural road in Manitoba, Canada.He had been missing for 3 weeks. When The groom said he couldn't do it that day the bride lost her mind saying that just because his brother got himself killed(he was adventurous) she shouldn't have to delay the wedding. After about 2 hours of arguing he and I along with his family left. i broke up with her so did he. The groom and I are still good friends to this day. TL;DR grooms brother died and the Bridezilla and her family were a******s
Lost Penny 2 years ago
I had to re-read this story to make sure they didn't break up with the same person.
Sawdust 2 years ago
What's the relational term for your ex-girlfriend's mother's exe's brother?
The Original Bruno 2 years ago (edited)
I'm a little confused... ex girlfriend's mother (mother-in-law, right?) ... the groom's brother (would've-been step-father-in-law's brother, a.k.a. would've-been uncle-in-law-in-law, I guess?) I broke up with her (the ex-girlfriend) and so did he (with the would've-been mother-in-law?). The groom (the would've-been step-father-in-law???) and OP are still good friends? This just shows the harm of focusing on the wedding over the marriage.
Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago (edited)
My ex-girlfriend's mother's wedding was called off because they found the groom's brother dead on a rural road in Manitoba, Canada; he had been missing for three weeks. When the groom said he couldn't go through with the wedding on this day, the bride lost her mind, saying that just because the groom's brother got himself killed (he was adventurous), she shouldn't have to delay the wedding. After about two hours of arguing, he and I left, along with his family. I broke up with the bride's daughter and the groom broke up with the bride-to-be. The groom and I are still good friends to this day. TL;DR: groom's brother died, bride turned Bridezilla, and her whole family acted like jackasses.
Li’l E. 2 years ago
Thank you for translating this into something coherent.
Load More Replies... Doodles1983 2 years ago
Groom broke it off with bride. Poster broke up with his GF, (Brides daughter.)
Michelle C 2 years ago
Good. A person who only thinks about himself or herself in such a tragedy especially reveals that he or she is not to be trusted with bigger things at that time, if at all, in my experience! Granted, we all think about ourselves to some degree in those moments, but the true test of character is whether we can put our concerns aside in those moments to support those who are truly in need, grief, etc.
#27
We were both fairly young, I was 21 he was 23. We were responsible, self sufficient, we bought a house together. He was my first kiss, and I was head over heels. We got engaged 4 years into the relationship, and then everything started falling apart. He started to get controlling, no longer wanting me to go out with friends, or even my sister. When it came to me telling him we just couldn't afford a new TV, or some other non-essential, he would pout and with hold love. If I wasn't perfectly happy he wouldn't talk to me. I was considering breaking it off when he decided that he wanted to try a**l, whether I wanted to or not. The only thing I could think of through the pain and tears was that this was only going to get worse. I was devastated that the person I loved would just keep going while I was begging him to stop. Breaking off my engagement was the best decision I ever made. I've gained all of my confidence back, and happier than I ever was in that relationship. I'm never settling again, I deserve better.
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
I'm so sorry that OP had to endure something so sick and evil from someone she loved and thought loved her. It's great to know that she got out of it asap and is now happier than ever before.
Sara Wilson 2 years ago
I dated someone that legit didn't understand how u could have rape in a relationship. And I found out out that he truly meant that. Unfortunately.
Wayne Gossman 2 years ago
No means no, even if you are married. Forced sex of any kind is rape.
#28
So a friend of mine, we'll say Becca was due to get married last year on august 10th. I went to her bridal shower where over and over she gloated how she would be marrying we'll say Mike, in just over a week and how lucky she was and how none of us were as lucky as she was. (yes she is that full of herself) So about 4 days before the wedding she blasts on her facebook about how the wedding has been postponed, and then a few hours later how it is has been postponed indefinitely. Turns out, another former friend of hers had a video of her boyfriend and Mike having sex. Mike found out Becca knew, and got all his stuff and left. About a month later Mike gets into a car accident and claims he has amnesia of all the events, and thought they were married. (in his accident he never hit his head, so the doctors say he is completely bullsh*tting everyone) Becca who is stupid, and Mormon and needs the husband decides to get back with him. She is now about 6 months pregnant. They are not married, and he still claims that he has forgotten everything...including the sex he had with another guy.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
This one makes me sad. He can’t be who he really is because it’s not ‘acceptable’ to be gay. I feel bad for them both, Becca and Mike
DrKimball 2 years ago
Mormons call them SSA (same sex attracted) and it's treated like a mental illness. The Mormons then prescribe a series of extremely dangerous and toxic regimens meant to "deal" with the SSA problem and one of those tactics is to have the person marry a heterosexual Cis-gendered person and live as a normal, healthy couple. It ALWAYS ALWAYS ends tragically for everyone involved. The LDS church is rotten to its core.
Rostit . 2 years ago
All OP had to write was "They were mormon". Then its pretty obvious there is something crazy going on. If you believe that the ghosts of space aliens are locked in a volcano and only you can decipher missing gold bars from the aliens, you might be a nutjob.
Azure Adams 2 years ago
It still won't last... she'll get made a fool of in the long run. He should run off to an accepting community. We would welcome him
Rostit . 2 years ago
whoops! I slipped and fell on his d**k a few times and then slipped again and it fell in and out of my mouth!
Panda-sized Potato 2 years ago
Probably should have buckled up, because that was one helluva ride.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Hmm, when is the video from? Was it before they were together? If so then he wasn't cheating on her.
Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Agreed. I've dated bisexual men before and their past sexual relationships were a non-issue.
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 2 years ago
I don't know about this one. It sounds like the plot of a daytime soap opera.
Kim Armand Nielsen 2 years ago
Related to the initial part: I am no philosopher, but i have found one fine philosophy during my life: People who keeps telling the same story again and again don’t do it for convincing the listeners (they would probably have believed the story as a fact from the start) they try convincing themselves! Its not an argument worth, but let it be your personal observation as base for your acting following! Normally is it small stories about salary or how happy somebody is for his/hers job, or even the bragging of the childrens abilities (grades/sporting/marriage) or the wifes cooking, hence no alarming details, but it is nice to notice the detail by yourself. In this case it sounds likely like the bride tries to convince herself of her happiness. Maybee she had quite a suspect :-/
#29
I had to call mine off because the man I wanted to spend the rest of my life with (or so I thought) decided to sit me down the night before and tell me all about the trysts and flings he had been having throughout our relationship together. He said if he doesn't come clean now, he would not be able to live with himself. After the list was done, I was crying my eyes out. He said something along the lines of, "Well, I didn't think you would take it THIS hard." Seriously.
We were going to have a huge wedding, even though I really didn't want a huge one (weird I guess, but I never envisioned my wedding growing up like other little girls), so I had to call tons and tons of people and tell them it was off; listen to them try to console me over the phone, and crying every time I hung it up. He told me he didn't want to call anyone because he was so upset with me calling it off. He didn't want to see me ever again.
That worked, because I found someone who actually loves me, and we have been married for 3.5 years with a beautiful 2.5 year old son. And he has never cheated on me. I never thought I could trust again, but I am still slowly getting over that fear after all these years (It was 12 years ago).
Alyssa Phillips 2 years ago
I would've called my guests. Not his. Let them show up and HIM field the calls.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
Seriously? They were planning their wedding, he tells her he’s been cheating and is surprised she’s upset about it? The guy’s delusional
Zenozenobee 2 years ago
He thought that she was tied up and pressure by the wedding coming and that she wouldn't dare to face everyone and the money lost. Glad he was wrong but I know people who have fell for this and went through the wedding after discovering s**t about their partner because they thought they had no choice as everything was planned/mais for.
Load More Replies... Snazzy Smurf 2 years ago
It is amazing how they will still have the gall to turn it around on the person they have wronged. He didn't want to see her again for calling the wedding off, the audacity?!? The feeling was probably most definitely mutual.
#30
Together 4 years, engaged for 3 months. He thought it would be a good time to tell me that he was attracted to children *in addition* to adult women a few days before the rehearsal. Maybe he thought I'd be too distracted with the planning, maybe he couldn't hold it in any longer, I don't know. *He* didn't talk to me for a few days after that so, confused and f****d up to my core, I told my dad who told me to call it off which I did. After two weeks. He basically disappeared making everyone think he had cold feet and then came back as though it would just be fine if a little weird. It was not pretty.
Aroace tiger (she/they/he) 2 years ago
I hope he didn't do anything illegal and decided to talk to a therapist
Becky Samuel 2 years ago
Unfortunately, due to the extreme reactions that people have to this subject, effective therapy solutions have not been researched. People who find themselves in this position are too afraid to seek therapy, and so end up hiding away until eventually something has to give. A person who has never committed an offence should be able to get professional help and guidance *before* it gets to be a criminal problem. I am afraid that our society is a very, very long way from getting their heads around this fact.
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Azure Adams 2 years ago
If he's into kids and tells you, he needs to find his laptop or similar 'mysteriously disappeared' to police.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Sad to say that wouldn't achieve anything. Assuming he was still just in the "attracted to" phase there'd be nothing to arrest him for. Not sure her word would even be enough to get a warrant to search his phone/computer/house for materials (even if they existed).
Load More Replies... Michelle C 2 years ago
Not wanting to be with someone who has no problem with finding children sexually attractive is a good thing! I hope the OP was able to get away from him completely, get post-breakup counseling, and report her concerns to the appropriate authorities!
Angela C 2 years ago
If he's never acted on it then there's nothing any authorities can do
Load More Replies... Emma Goransdottir 2 years ago
Omg..😳!! I don't know if I could keep myself from a baseball bat if my bf told me he is a pedophile! Scum of the earth🤢
Snazzy Smurf 2 years ago
What in the entire f**k?!?! There are some horrible stories in this segment but this right here takes the cake for having the worst POS.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
I would be devastated if I found out I almost married a creep.
Lili Hajdu 2 years ago
Honestly having feelings like these doesn't make him a monster. Only if he acts these out. He probably was incredibly embarrassed and trusted her with this sensitive information. Pedophiles aren't automatically horrible people. They are sick and need therapy. I hope he never did anything to children and "just" had these feelings.
nikki 2 years ago
Absolute cr@. If he's having feelings like this how can you even have sympathy for him. How does anyone know what he is or isn't doing. There is no cure for this. Therapy does not work. The amount of reoffenders who have been given therapy in the first instance is insane. Even thinking of kids in that manner is very very wrong.
Load More Replies... #31
Fiance let three marines run a train on her 2 weeks before the wedding. Told me and assured me we could work it out, to which I replied that those guys already "worked it out" enough. Was worth the 10k in unrefundable deposits.
#32
She first off pressured me into proposing. While I was also madly in love her at the time, I was also very young and very stupid. I saved up for a year and bought the ring and did a whole romantic night out. Do it, blahblahblah, she's happy and really starts letting the crazy flow. I dated this girl for 6 years and after I propose she starts letting these little S**t-bits about herself come up casually in conversations so "you couldnt react without making our friends uncomfortable and I know you wouldn't call me out anyway". Basically she turned out to be psycho, manipulative, and a fundie which was stupid to me even as a Christian. When I did break things off I saw her world shatter. Not just because she thought "the devil was possessing you to tell me things things" but I ruined one of the best lies she ever built. So good she even convinced herself that the little awkward boy from highschool wouldn't grow a pair and end things with a manipulative dumb psycho.
Michelle C 2 years ago
As a fellow Christian, this makes me mad! Using one’s faith as a cudgel to control and manipulate others is exactly what Jesus said not to do. I’m glad he got out before he spent his life with the type of person against whom Jesus warned in that respect!
WFH Forever 2 years ago
Fundamentalist Christian. They have some very extreme ideas like women should not get an education because they should just have as many babies as they possibly can.
Load More Replies... Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
This one is kinda scary O_O he dated her for 6 YEARS before she showed her crazy.
Averysleepypanda 2 years ago
Ugh, "pressured into proposing". Regardless of her pressuring that was still YOUR decision, gotta take some accountability with that.
#33
I called off my wedding recently due to a pregnancy that she decided to terminate while I was at work. We weren't engaged as a result of the pregnancy, or pressure from family/friends. We had fallen in love, and moved in together over a 2 year period of time. Then she took a pregnancy test due to a late period, and it was confirmed later that day by a doctor. I got excited, she got worried. Nothing I said seemed to calm her down. About a week into it, she told me she had terminated. Over a steak dinner... I harbored a lot of resentment toward her for it, though I told her I support her and her decision. Over the ensuing 6 weeks or so, I started (subconsciously) distancing myself from her. While at home I spent all of my time on the computer, playing video games, reading, etc. Then I finally told her that I didn't think I wanted to get married. She was devastated. Came home from work a couple days later and she had taken everything that was hers or shared and left. That was 3 weeks ago tomorrow.
Panda Kicki 2 years ago
It was the right call. His feelings had changed, best to break up and not doing a charade hurting both in the end.
Kitty 🥀 2 years ago
Agree. A woman has a right to make a decision about her body, but should know that that decision could have consequences. I totally get both sides of this.
Load More Replies... Azure Adams 2 years ago
It was the right thing to do. On both ends. You both wanted different things
Heffalump 2 years ago
A lot of relationships don't survive an abortion. Unless the couple have decided they don't want kids, it's kind of saying 'this relationship has no future' isn't it?
Rita Benkő 2 years ago (edited)
I know a couple with six kids. The younger four are living proof that no contraceptive method is 100% effective (includind IUD).
Load More Replies... Bubs623 2 years ago
Whether or not he wanted to 'fully be a father' is totally irrelevant. Her body. Her choice. Now, obviously that choice had consequences. He made the right call because that was how he felt. He told her, by his words, he supported her. Why would should not believe him? She thinks he supports her because he tells her he does - not because of some assumption on her part- and then he distances himself and his feelings change. His feelings changing are TOTALLY valid. Her choosing to not carry a pregnancy is valid too. It's better they find out now. No one is the a*****e in this one.
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#34
Getting engaged put so much external pressure on our relationship that we both cracked. It took planning a wedding to realize how much I really didn't want to marry that person.
Pittsburgh rare 2 years ago
If you want to really know someone, travel with them. Or plan a wedding
#35
I realized that she was more in love with getting married than she was with me. I was her Avenue to marriage, she felt that I'd be a loyal husband and a good father. But she didn't care about me more than a friend.
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
If she felt OP would be a good husband and dad wouldn't that mean she thought of him as more than a friend?? I personally couldn't sleep with a man, (in order to make OP the good dad) if I thought of him as only a friend.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
I think that's what OP's problem was: I mean, some women find it sexy for a guy to be good father/husband material, and some men wouldn't need the ego stroke of thinking she additionally thought he had the best body she could find... but OP realized that she lacked sexual desire for him and that could be a real obstacle in the marriage. Also consider that some people still actually avoid sex until after marriage; maybe she just presumed that the sexual desire will eventually come?
Load More Replies... Ima Manimal 2 years ago
You see that more and more of these days… It’s all about the wedding, nothing about the marriage.
Lori Simpson 2 years ago
That's kinda how my first marriage came about in the first place! He was from a VERY religious family and gay. Marrying him was a benefit to us both; considering the family connections in business. He turned out to be a controlling and manipulative father and husband, unfortunately. We are still friendly and kind to each other over holidays and such but I will always refer to him as my starter husband. Because I learned the hard way what b****hit I absolutely would not tolerate; regardless of the benefits!!
Myrna Traylor 2 years ago
In the West, we have grown to expect our spouse to be all things, including the love of our lives. In other times and cultures, that wasn't what marriage was about, and true friendship, children and honor could make for a GREAT partnership. But if one person has the expectation of being beloved, it is not right to go through with the marriage.
BenMaharaj 2 years ago
That was how my ex wife felt too. I just found out too late. She really wanted to get married, didn’t think anyone would until I came along. Her exact words, “I never loved you. I thought I could learn to live you. I just really wanted to get married.” In the end she made herself more miserable than me and I was pretty miserable.
Lori Simpson 2 years ago
I feel that on such a personal level. I hope you have moved on with gained affection and attention a partner should bring!
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#36
My boyfriend's father joined the navy and left on a ship to avoid his wedding day. His bride-to-be had lied to him about being pregnant to guilt him into marriage. As the big day approached, she admitted she was not pregnant at all. She felt comfortable saying this because her father had ties to the mob and she knew he would be significantly hurt if he left dady's little girl at the altar. He joined the navy to get away and dumped her as he was going to training. He ran into her decades later and she acted like they were old friends. TL;DR: Boyfriend's father joined the navy to avoid his wedding to a mobster's daughter.
LinkTheHylian 2 years ago
"How could you do this today, the day however many days before my daughter's wedding?"
Rostit . 2 years ago
Having "ties" to the mob doesnt mean much in this situation. If she thought John Gaddi was going to risk prison over some cappos lying kid, she is delusional.
ILoveMySon 2 years ago
You never know. I know a woman who is related to a now deceased mob figure. (Of course I will not divulge who for obvious reasons. ) Her husband had to ask the family for a divorce. He was allowed but "encouraged" to relocate.
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Otto Katz 2 years ago
How is he the boyfriend's father, if the woman lied about being pregnant? This doesn't make any sense. Unless he later married another woman, who isn't mentioned at all in this paragraph.
V Martinez 2 years ago
Sounds like the bf's father didn't marry the fake pregnant chic. He later (possibly) did marry another woman, or at least became a dad. No, the bf's mom isn't mentioned and this seems to have taken place years ago. That's how I interpret this post.
Load More Replies... #37
My dad was engaged to this girl who came from a very wealthy family. He proposed because she gave him an ultimatum after she tried to make him jealous by flirting with his friends. He was Catholic and his church required them to go to counseling before the wedding. He slowly realized they had absolutely nothing in common and called off the wedding three days before. He was at her parent's house for a wedding shower three days before the ceremony and told her he didn't think they should get married. She didn't take it too well and flipped out and refused to let him leave the room. He slammed the wall with his fist and she stepped aside. My dad went downstairs where her mother and the other ladies were, picked up his hamster (I have no idea why my dad would bring his pet hamster to a wedding shower), told her mom she might need to go upstairs and check on her daughter, and walked out of the house carrying the hamster under his arm. A few months later he met my mom and they've been married for over 30 years.
Clown fish 2 years ago
Same I don't know what's happening but there is a hamster lol
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Ron Baza 2 years ago
I have broken off seven engagements and can confirm it always goes better if you are accompanied by a small rodent.
Penguin Panda Pop 2 years ago
How many engagements broken off without rodents? How many with? Exactly what rodents? Which ones are best in your experience? Sorry for the questions but I need a subject for my studies before they cut my funding. This seems like an under-researched area.
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Penguin Panda Pop 2 years ago
"Carried the hamster under his arm" How freaking big was this hamster?
Fay Louise 2 years ago
Lol. Presumably the hamster travelled with its cage and not in a pocket!
Load More Replies... EmbersAreOut 2 years ago
I love how everyone is focusing on the hamster......the little guy makes everything better.
Jackie Lulu 2 years ago
I am LOLing so hard I have tears, and so happy the hamster got away, too.
Agamemnon O'Neill 2 years ago
A man who takes his hamster to his engagement party is not a man who's ready to get married.
#38
A former roommate of mine was dumped 2 weeks before her wedding. Her fiance had moved away for a job a few months before the wedding and in that time he found a new girl. My poor roommate lost most of the deposits and couldn't even return her dress. Then, to add insult to injury she had to cancel the 2 weeks notice she'd already put in at her job because she was supposed to move to where he lived after the wedding. All's well that ends well though. She moved on and met a wonderful guy. They just got married a few months ago. :)
Abby Palmer 2 years ago (edited)
I'm glad she got her happy ending, but that first guy was a dochebag.
Pollymere 2 years ago
I don't know... He had the courage to realise he liked someone else and call the wedding off rather than getting wed and cheating. Maybe the time apart made him finally see they shouldn't get married.
Load More Replies... #39
A girl I know did. She was getting married, and right after her bridal shower, she started realizing that she clicked much more with another guy. She called her fiance, hoping for some romantic gesture to assure her she was making the right choice and he replied with something to the effect of "If you have cold feet, that's your problem. I'm not hopping on a plane to put a band-aid on the situation" and realized that this guy wasn't the right guy.
Lakota Wolf (she/her) 2 years ago (edited)
Woah, woah. Her fiancée suddenly wasn't the "right guy"? So the woman wanted her fiancée to make some big romantic gesture to make sure SHE was "making the right choice"? That's disgusting. A partner shouldn't have to make some extravagant romantic gesture/performance to "prove" that they're the "right choice". Either they are or they aren't. If the girl in this story felt she clicked more with some other guy, she needed to grow a pair (metaphorically) and tell her fiancée that. In no way was her fiancée RESPONSIBLE for making some huge gesture to "PROVE" he was the right guy.
Jessica Bertram 2 years ago
as usual, your observations are, i think, incredibly on-target. Her need to have him somehow chase her to validate their relationship is terribly toxic.
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Nina 2 years ago (edited)
That's quite a cold response, wouldn't sit right with me as well. He doesn't have to pull out all the stops or something, but if I'm genuinely telling him I'm having concerns I'd expect more than a 'not my problem' response. If you're going to share your life you got yo be there for eachother
Gardener of Weeden 2 years ago (edited)
Wow, a lot of the commenters don't get it. I was in a similar situation. And it was actually on both sides. as we were getting ready to be married, we wanted to be sure. We both had past relationships that were not "resolved?". Between open and honest communication - with quite a bit of professing our love for each other - we resolved all past relationships and feelings of "what might have been". ... Married for 42yrs. A little bit of I adore you and Want you as my soulmate goes a LONG way.
Jackal 2 years ago
Your situation was not similar if both of you had the same feelings... The fiance here clearly did not understand having feelings for someone else before the wedding and clearly stated that. Sorry, not everyone gets cold feet before a wedding and I think you are allowing your own experience to cloud your reasoning 🤷♀️
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#40
I went on my first date at the age of 23. Having never been in a relationship before, I thought everything was going well. About 3 months in, we got pregnant. She told me that she was on the pill and that it was possible that she couldn't even get pregnant. This was a shock to my system, and we separated briefly following the announcement. We got back together though, and really tried to make it work. My daughter was born in August, very near our 1 year anniversary. My daughter is the greatest person in the world and she's done more for me than she'll ever know. I've learned so much through her about responsibility and being an adult. Shortly after my daughter's birth, her mother began pushing the marriage issue and I saved up to buy a ring. I proposed and for some time it made things better between us. The situation was just too difficult though, we had nothing in common other than our daughter. Before long, she was again being verbally and psychologically abusive to me, but having never been treated like that, I didn't understand what I was doing wrong. I began seeing a therapist which helped me realize that I wasn't in a healthy relationship. Finally after an argument in which she threatened me with physical violence, I knew that things were just too toxic to continue. I definitely looked like the bad guy, but I had to make the best choice for the future of all those involved. The most difficult part was coming to the conclusion that this situation continuing around my daughter would actually be worse for her than us being apart. TL;DR Knocked up the first girl I ever went out with. Tried to make it work, but too many differences.
Averysleepypanda 2 years ago
Not sure why the birth control thing is mentioned in the begining - comes across to me like it's implying she lied about the ability of getting pregnant. All birth control can fail regardless of proper use
Lost Penny 2 years ago
Don't know if the situation has improved for the kid, since she is living with an abusive mother.
Arctic Fox Lover is Back! 2 years ago
This guy deserves a whole lot of credit. I can only imagine how tough it must’ve been to have to make those decisions with an abusive woman and a daughter between the two of them. ❤️
#41
An old friend of mine called off his wedding because he found out she f****d some dude at her Bachelorette party the weekend before. He waited until the day of the wedding to call it off, because he wanted her to have to explain it to her family.. most of whom flew into town for the wedding.
I was one of his groomsmen, so instead of saying his vows, we all took him out onto the town while in the tux's. It was still a pretty depressing night out. And he was pretty tore up about it for months.
Jackal 2 years ago
Interesting how everyone is ganging up on the victim when he (maybe because he's a guy?) only had a few days to process this. Sure maybe he should have just called it off, but seriously, he is only human and wanting to have someone face the consequences of their actions while feeling some portion of the pain they caused you is totally understandable. Expecting the fiance to think of everyone else in that moment is pretty unreasonable even if it was the "better" decision.
PinkPeppered Squid 2 years ago
Plenty of women have called it off on the day of the wedding and have gone on to use the reception as a blow out party. This is no different. These women are celebrated, yet this guy is receiving so much hate. Double standards and yes, I'm a woman.
#42
Was going to get married in March 2012, and called it off in January of that year. Basically it just came down to a disagreement on what we wanted out of life. I was 23 at the time (would've been 24 at the wedding), she was 27. She wanted kids. Like almost immediately. I told her that we needed to wait on that (I'm still in college, I wanted to get a job and a home and whatnot first), but she was completely unwilling to compromise on it. She demanded that we have kids before she was 30, so within a year or two of the wedding, and there's no way that I would be ready for kids by 25/26, especially as I'm still working on college. This was causing more and more of a divide between us, and I knew that if we had gotten married that either I would've gotten what I wanted and we would've waited for kids and she would've resented me, or she would've gotten what she wanted and we would've had kids, and both I would resent her AND we would have a kid or kids that we were unprepared to take care of.
I still miss her every day, though, and always wonder if I made the right decision.
Lost Penny 2 years ago
Why did they start talking about serious, important things just 2-3 months before the wedding?? One would think it would be something people would discuss BEFORE making any marital plans.
Ken Beattie 2 years ago
Sounds like they had talked about wanting kids before. But instead of "at some point in the future" it had changed to "ASAP!"
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Ima Manimal 2 years ago
You definitely made the right decision. No one should ever feel pressured to have children before you’re ready.
Natalia Korol 2 years ago
If you miss here every day - than you DID NOT make a right decision . It has been 11 years…
#43
My fiancee started having an affair with her supervisor. I found the conversations when she forgot to log off of Facebook one day. I worked my a*s off for about a month to try to win her back, but eventually gave up. We broke up, she went on a couple of dates with him. He tried to f**k her, and she stopped halfway (she had always been very conservative about sex) because she wasn't ready. He got angry and refused to talk to her ever again. That was about 3 days before I moved out of state. She begged for me to come back. No luck. We were in the planning step (we had only been engaged for about a year, and money was a bit of an issue), so fortunately aside from a few minor things (the ring being the most expensive thing at that point) we hadn't put much money out on it.
Abby Palmer 2 years ago (edited)
At least not a lot of money was lost, unlike most stories here? I'm just trying to see the ok side in this but it's hard...
Michelle C 2 years ago
I would say be OK side is that he figured out that he was going to marry someone he couldn’t trust, and he realized that he couldn’t trust her before they married!
Load More Replies... #44
I got engaged in 2005 and I called off the wedding about 6 months before. We were broke, in our 30s and paying for it ourselves. My fiancée kept pushing me to make the wedding bigger and bigger and inviting more and more people and he really went off the deep end and wouldn't listen to reason that we DID NOT HAVE THE MONEY to do this. But he wanted to impress his father who always thought he was a failure and kept insisting. It really showed me his true colors and how crazy he could be, and I broke off the engagement and I canceled everything. My fiancée (boyfriend then I guess) and I lived together, we had been together 3 years. We stayed together for another year and a half after I broke off the engagement, but things were never the same and I left him in 2007.
#45
I don't think I've seen this one yet: emotional affair.
We were together for seven years, and were getting married in a few months. We'd already bought a house, and started tying our lives together. She was emotionally distant for some time, but I ignored it like a fool in love. Eventually, I noticed she was spending significant time chatting with a guy she met on World of Warcraft. She was also taking phone calls "from a friend" in private. I called her on it, and our wedding was off the next day.
We bought our house during the mortgage bubble, and now I'm stuck with an under-water mortgage on a house that's lost 50% of its value. I also still have the ring - it's been almost five years, and I'm still not sure what to do with it.
#46
Dated a girl for a while that did this. Turns out she was engaged to him but dating me. We were in university and he was at a different school. I found out when he called to say he was going to shoot me. I guess she'd gone home for the weekend, which really meant going to his school and ending things... and telling him about me. He didn't believe that I had no idea because she wouldn't do that on her own.
#47
My best friend was going out with his high school sweet heart for 10 years, they were 25 when they got engaged, they had both been each other's first. This guy did everything for her and she was sweet to him also but she was very flirteous and what not. One day my buddy comes over and tells me that his girlfriend is at a supper with some hockey players from the Tampa Bay Lightning, so I'm like "DUDE, hockey players are known to f**k everything that MOVES, arent you worried?" and he tells me that she is just there to wingwoman one of her friends. So the next day we are all at supper together and jokingly I ask my friends girlfriend "So does Brad Richards have a big d**k?" (my senseless humour was accepted and well appreciated by this group of friends) and she replies nervously with a laugh "Yeah, Willdill, it was HUGE". So we laugh about it and carry on. 3 months later, 1 week before their wedding day, she finally admits to him that she HAD slept with Brad Richards. She told him like this "You know when Willdill asked me about Brad Richards d**k? Well, I wasn't lying, I did sleep with him, I'm so sorry bla bla bla." Turns out after their little hockey player supper, they all went to the hotel and had a dildo fest with 2 other girls and 3 of the players. Needless to say my friend dumped her a*s and now hates hockey with a passion.
Abby Palmer 2 years ago
Well sounds like he got a slapshot to his heartm... I'll see myself out...
LinkTheHylian 2 years ago
Supper? Who wrote this? Tiny Tim? Or does Brad Richards have a penchant for tea and scones? As well as easy women.
I heart Boo-BI-es 2 years ago
Wow, I learned a few things from this post. Starting with the word flirteous which has been added to my vocabulary. Also didn't know hockey players fùcked anything that moves, thanks for the warning. Lastly how does a dildo fest equate to her screwing a hockey player? I would think it meant the females were screwing plastic/rubber phallic shaped devices...
Catlady6000 2 years ago
2 girls 3 players. Who knows what was going where
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#48
I called it off because I realized we weren't ready to make a marriage work. There are a number of skills that a couple **needs** to have before they can really succeed in a relationship that's meant to last a lifetime. These skills are pretty obvious; compromise, forgiveness, sacrifice, and an acceptance of the things you don't like but can never change. Shortly before the wedding I realized that we didn't have those skills. That made me extremely uncomfortable with the prospect of going through with it. And ultimately, I couldn't bring myself to start something that I knew couldn't last forever. The mistake we made was getting engaged before we *knew* we had those skills, before we were ready. We gave ourselves a long engagement with the idea that we'd have time to figure out those skills before the big day finally came. But we didn't realize that it put a timer on our relationship which essentially turned it into a time bomb. When the day came, we were either going to be ready or we were going to have a **very** bad time.
Crouching hippo hidden panda 2 years ago
Props for the self awareness. Most couples only figure that stuff out after the fact
#49
My friend called it off because she realized her fiancé would be happy with anyone who wanted to marry him.
Paul Brown 2 years ago
Yea, I left my first wife after I realized she was in love with the idea of being married and didn't give a damn about me.
#50
You know that bridezilla show? Pretty much was like that. Yeah, this is a 'A friend of mine...' story, sorry. Well this bakery had a thing of not doing wedding cakes because the brides typically go apesh*t over them no matter how perfect they are and demand alterations on the very day of the wedding that have nothing to do with the original description of the cake. My friend's fiance though, she was friends with the owner of the bakery so she decided to make it just to be nice. Part of her gift for the wedding, a free cake. The bride went absolutely APESH*T over the cake. She was screaming and yelling and in tears over this cake. This was the day before, so the friend trying to be nice decided to REMAKE THE CAKE FROM SCRATCH AND GOT ZERO SLEEP THAT NIGHT WORKING ON IT. me, the bride and groom were in the bakery there to pick up the cake the next day and she just got so angry she picked it up and threw the cake over the counter where there were several customers, screaming her lungs out over how her friend ruined her wedding and how awful the cake was. She then turned to the groom and said 'What are we going to do about the wedding now?!' in which the groom responded with: "What wedding?" I wish I had a camera, holy f**k. They were both black and it was a black neighborhood so the store pretty much turned into an episode of maury or jerry springer.
Clown fish 2 years ago (edited)
It's an implication that black people all get involved in the drama of the neighbourhood.
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Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago
I'm from West Virginia, and trust me--there were a lot of white people on Maury and Jerry Springer.
Mediocre Genius 2 years ago
I forgot we black people are a monolith who all act the same way. I must have missed that meeting. Clearly you have limited exposure to different kinds of people to make such an ignorant statement and I doubt that was really a "friend." You need to watch less Jerry and Maury. And if you are black, too, shame on you for promoting stereotypes.
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What do you think ?
Rick Seiden 2 years ago (edited)
She called it off on me because I was too self centered and didn't pay enough attention to her. I deserved it, and did some growing up because of it. We reconnected a few years later as friends, and thought about hooking back up, but there was too much baggage in it for either of us. I have no hard feelings about it and I wish her the best. Like I said, I deserved it. (Note: I didn't cheat or physically abuse her in any way. But being self centered and not paying enough attention to someone who loves you is a form of emotional abuse. So she absolutely did the right thing in breaking up with me.)
KrazyChiMama 2 years ago
Dear universe thank you for my wonderful husband of 22 years and counting. I will never take him for granted! Reading all this just reaffirms how lucky I am <3
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
I didn’t have the balls to call off my wedding. 😞 I wish I’d been strong like these people! Most of the guests were coming from the other side of the world (this was when flying was crazy-expensive; if you canceled your flight, you were out the money.) He was (and remains) a TERRIFIC man, but he wasn’t the right man for me I realized it two months before the wedding. My career was going gangbusters; I worked for a huge tech company named after a fruit, and got promotions and raises every time I turned around. He made great money stacking boxes in a grocery store and loved spending the rest of his waking hours fishing. I thought he should aspire to success like mine, but he was happy living the way he did, and that was his goal: to be happy. That frustrated the snot out of me, though NOW I realize he had the right idea! My sister had to hold me up during the ceremony, as I kept fainting. It still galls me that I didn’t suck it up and call it off. Grrr. At least it’s not a horror story!
Doodles1983 2 years ago
We got engaged but wanted a long engagement. My sister’s fiancé cheated on and dumped her. And we got told, “you’re having this wedding so we don’t lose the deposits.” We went along with it for about 2 months until I got terrified and resentful that it was basically all my sister’s choices and not ours. I backed out and we split up. Lo and behold we got back together and married the year we originally had planned on after a long engagement! Unfortunately, we have since separated because life was harsh to us but we are still good friends and in each other’s lives and always will be.
Super Beast 2 years ago (edited)
we started dating when i started college, he was a senior in a different college. we broke up because i couldnt do long distance. when i moved back after graduating he was pursuing a graduate degree, and he was working as an academic assistant. we started dating again. he asked me to marry him. i agreed. i caught his first lie when he told me he got me a present the day before but forgot to bring it with him. he brought the gift a few weeks later and forgot to take out the itemized receipt which was of the day he gave me the gift. this was an unnecessary lie because im not materialistic and i asked him why. he said he didnt have the money at the date. i got suspicious but decided to try to understand. a few months later, a friend of his asked him if he was considering a master's degree after getting his bachelor's. i said i had told me he was getting his doctorate. he said he lied. i realized he just wanted recognition with stuff he thought would make people like him. i am not impressed by money or education. i like good character and he had none.
Super Beast 2 years ago
yeah there seems to be a lack of same sex couple examples. bp doesnt seem to exclude them, but doesnt seem to make an effort to be deliberately inclusive either
Load More Replies... Rick Seiden 2 years ago (edited)
She called it off on me because I was too self centered and didn't pay enough attention to her. I deserved it, and did some growing up because of it. We reconnected a few years later as friends, and thought about hooking back up, but there was too much baggage in it for either of us. I have no hard feelings about it and I wish her the best. Like I said, I deserved it. (Note: I didn't cheat or physically abuse her in any way. But being self centered and not paying enough attention to someone who loves you is a form of emotional abuse. So she absolutely did the right thing in breaking up with me.)
KrazyChiMama 2 years ago
Dear universe thank you for my wonderful husband of 22 years and counting. I will never take him for granted! Reading all this just reaffirms how lucky I am <3
Binky Melnik 2 years ago
I didn’t have the balls to call off my wedding. 😞 I wish I’d been strong like these people! Most of the guests were coming from the other side of the world (this was when flying was crazy-expensive; if you canceled your flight, you were out the money.) He was (and remains) a TERRIFIC man, but he wasn’t the right man for me I realized it two months before the wedding. My career was going gangbusters; I worked for a huge tech company named after a fruit, and got promotions and raises every time I turned around. He made great money stacking boxes in a grocery store and loved spending the rest of his waking hours fishing. I thought he should aspire to success like mine, but he was happy living the way he did, and that was his goal: to be happy. That frustrated the snot out of me, though NOW I realize he had the right idea! My sister had to hold me up during the ceremony, as I kept fainting. It still galls me that I didn’t suck it up and call it off. Grrr. At least it’s not a horror story!
Doodles1983 2 years ago
We got engaged but wanted a long engagement. My sister’s fiancé cheated on and dumped her. And we got told, “you’re having this wedding so we don’t lose the deposits.” We went along with it for about 2 months until I got terrified and resentful that it was basically all my sister’s choices and not ours. I backed out and we split up. Lo and behold we got back together and married the year we originally had planned on after a long engagement! Unfortunately, we have since separated because life was harsh to us but we are still good friends and in each other’s lives and always will be.
Super Beast 2 years ago (edited)
we started dating when i started college, he was a senior in a different college. we broke up because i couldnt do long distance. when i moved back after graduating he was pursuing a graduate degree, and he was working as an academic assistant. we started dating again. he asked me to marry him. i agreed. i caught his first lie when he told me he got me a present the day before but forgot to bring it with him. he brought the gift a few weeks later and forgot to take out the itemized receipt which was of the day he gave me the gift. this was an unnecessary lie because im not materialistic and i asked him why. he said he didnt have the money at the date. i got suspicious but decided to try to understand. a few months later, a friend of his asked him if he was considering a master's degree after getting his bachelor's. i said i had told me he was getting his doctorate. he said he lied. i realized he just wanted recognition with stuff he thought would make people like him. i am not impressed by money or education. i like good character and he had none.
Super Beast 2 years ago
yeah there seems to be a lack of same sex couple examples. bp doesnt seem to exclude them, but doesnt seem to make an effort to be deliberately inclusive either
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Ieva Pečiulytė
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