“AITA For Refusing To Stop Touching My Wife And Telling A Couple To Keep Their Kids In Check?”
Interview With Author
People’s opinions on PDA differ from person to person. Some people deem it inappropriate, while others believe there’s nothing wrong with a little show of affection in front of others. The author of this story found himself in a little conundrum while on vacation with his wife.
The couple got a bit touchy with each other in the hotel’s hot tub and got some critical comments from another married couple. The parents thought the couple’s behavior was not appropriate for their kids to see. The OP, in turn, snapped back at the parents, saying they should better control their children so they stop disturbing them and the other vacationers.
The author went on to r/AITAH to get more impressions on who was right, and the opinion was divided.
The author u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick was kind enough to answer some questions for Bored Panda. He told us more about why he decided to seek the Internet’s opinion and what his general opinion on public displays of affection is. Read our interview with him below!
Seeing people being affectionate with each other can make those around feel uncomfortable
Image credits: micens / Envato (not the actual photo)
This man asked the Internet whether he and his wife were rightfully called out for getting a little touchy during vacation
Image credits: crystalsing / Envato (not the actual photo)
The OP later edited his post to add a sweet message to his wife
Image credits: AnnoyedPricklyPrick
He also answered some questions from the commenters
The OP wanted to get an unbiased opinion from people who don’t personally know him
Bored Panda reached out to the author of this story, u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick, and he agreed to tell us more about it. The OP tells us he was looking for neutral opinions on the incident since the people who know him and his wife wouldn’t be as objective.
“I was genuinely curious what people thought. I had hoped that I would get more genuine opinions by asking anonymously online,” the Redditor tells us. “Or rather, ones that weren’t tainted by people extrapolating based on what they already knew about me, like my family would.”
The OP tells us that his family members didn’t think he and his wife were being inappropriate. However, he also says that they’ve seen them behave this way for many years, so they might be more used to it. The family took more issue with how the OP handled the children’s behavior.
“My siblings and mother all know that I don’t like kids and that I can be quite irritable and snippy with people, so they assumed that I was overly snappish and that the kids probably weren’t actually out of line. An annoying inference, but I suppose I understand why they made it,” the Redditor admits.
However, u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick feels like other Redditors weren’t as neutral as he expected. “There seemed to be a lot of people making up details to suit themselves anyway,” the OP added. “And that applies to people with all sorts of thoughts on whether I was the [jerk] or not.”
The OP doesn’t see anything wrong with public displays of affection
Image credits: Katie Salerno / Pexels (not the actual photo)
We also asked the OP what he thinks the line is between appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to being affectionate in public. “Personally, I think as long as sexual stimulation isn’t happening, public displays of affection are perfectly fine and should be normal,” the Redditor tells us.
“I think, generally, way too many people associate touching with sex when really it’s only an indication of comfort and affection. I suppose that’s not unexpected from me.”
“That said, I can see now how someone might have been worried that my wife and I were being sexual with each other, even though we weren’t.” The Redditor also reiterates that the joke his wife made wasn’t even remotely sexual. “[It] was about the class she taught the previous semester. It wasn’t anything inappropriate,” u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick says.
Whether PDA is appropriate or not depends on various factors
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s evident by the differing opinions in the comments under this story that there’s no unanimous opinion on whether public displays of affection are appropriate or not. The truth is that there’s no definitive answer. Whether people think it’s okay or not depends on many different circumstances.
First, of course, is simple personal preference. Some people like it, some don’t, simple as that. However, those preferences depend on various factors, such as upbringing, culture, and social context.
A clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships, Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, tells VeryWell Mind that those who have affectionate parents might be more comfortable with showing affection publicly to their partner.
Some people also think there’s a time and place for PDA. It’s okay to kiss in a bar, for example, but a workplace might be a big no-no. It may also depend on cultural values: some cultures encourage affectionate behaviors. Others, which are more conservative, prohibit any show of affection in public spaces.
Beingwell’s life coach, Grace McMahon, told InStyle that engaging in PDAs is exciting for some. “A PDA can actually make our hearts race and our bodies feel hotter, creating an enjoyable rush of excitement.
“In fact, just the simplest touch, like holding hands (which can lower cortisol levels), can see us get physically addicted to mild levels of PDA; they get the oxytocin flowing, which helps us feel more secure in our relationships, so it’s not all bad… even if it is soppy.”
People had mixed opinions. Some believed that the OP was not the jerk
Others thought everyone here was acting like jerks
And others expressed how they thought the OP and his wife acted inappropriately
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This is nonsense. Not everything the world has to be "kid safe" especially at 9pm! The couple were not acting inappropriately. The parents were doing nothing to make sure their kids didn't bother others. But the couple didn't complain about the kids. If the couple went to the kiddie pool to grope each other in the middle of the day, you people would be correct. But a couple showing public affection at 9pm in a room next to the pool is in no way inappropriate. If you don't want to control your children, go to kids only places where the hotel staff parent for you.
most spas that i know have rules, concerning the public display of affection - which is to be kept to a minimum (there are also rules for the behavior and admittance of kids) this might however be specific to countries where naked saunas are part of spa culture
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Damn, why are people so prude? It's not like they were having sex in public! I'm sure the kids have seen worse on TV. They probably didn't even notice.
Those kids didn't care, guaranteed! Parents sound like some main character syndrome, however.
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If the other family was uncomfortable with the affection being exchanged between OP and his spouse then they could leave the area.
It's a public area that they'd paid to have access to. If he wants the Mrs sat on his crotch in a hot tub, book a room with its own hot tub.
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I was with him until he stated his assumption that they should be in school. Literally a million reasons why kids would be traveling with their parents midweek. So i went back and re-read the post. Many of his assumptions were erroneous. Kids play. I don't like noise, i leave. Simultaneously, adults kiss in public. Someone doesn't like it, THEY can leave. ESH
Right, but this was late at night... It's a -reasonable- assumption that there wouldn't be any kids around (which doesn't matter anyway because as you said, adults kiss).
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Maybe leaving the kids out of it and replying with a simple “No” would have been a bit better, so not perfect, but definitely NTA. Tasteful, respectful, PDA’s that simply communicates “I love you” is something I wish we saw more often, not less. Obviously, nobody wants to see a tongue-wrestling, gyrating couple in public (well, most people, anyway), but honest, tasteful PDA’s between a couple that loves each other is a beautiful thing no matter where it is. The message you edited into your post to your wife – nice touch.
NTA. And those a-hole parents absolutely should have kept their kids from behaving like wild animals.
I've seen couples in hot tubs and other public places give PDA. My husband and I have no issue displaying PDA either. Obviously we're mindful of were we are at, but we'll hold hands, kiss (pecks only), and snuggle. As long as people aren't grinding all up on each other or taking it too far, who cares? Let people be happy and enjoy their relationship. I get PDA is not for everyone but that doesn't mean they get to control what others do.
You stated nothing sexual, and completely covered. I'd tell that nice couple with the 3 demons to kindly p**s off.
If she's sat on his crotch kissing him, thees no way he's not getting a semi on. In a public space. With children. If they want to engage in frotage, book a room with a private hot tub.
Ok, it was a kiss. She wasn't straddling him, he didn't have his tongue halfway down her throat. That being said, if this was me and my hubby, that's the scene we would have had when the other couple made their comment. Also, the kids weren't in the POOL, they were in the HOT TUB. Children shouldn't even be in a HOT TUB.
Why shouldn’t kids be in a hot tub? Literally every single swimming facility and community center pool has a hot tub, and those places are for kids to enjoy them. Why are only adults allowed to warm up in a hot tub? You didn’t ever go in a hot tub till after your 18th birthday huh?
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The sweet message to his wife at the end of the post got me right in the feels. I'm so happy they are still so in love with each other! Screw those other folks! They are just jealous. I hope this man and his wife enjoy many more happy years together ❤️
I cannot at all understand those parents. Why should kissing something your kids should not see?
Chad and Karen should take their f_ck trophies and leave. If I saw the couple in that situation, I'd stay in the other area and give them space and privacy, though I'm not going to leave either.
You | Poem: Once upon a time, I thought I knew you. It's just amazing the new you. Life has been good and on your side to keep you. Who are you to me love? I've been going down, way down, and when I look up to see your hands stretching out for me, how is it I don't recognize you. You stopped by disgrace to see if you could find yourself within me. No, it's only you, all about you, from you, because of you outlying the standard. You never know about your own unless you fall asleep and then wake up beside nobody else to comfort you and your mind, how you can do so high, and have the whole wide world to be paralyzed by the thought of you, you're Omni anarchy, it's just like you are taking over the Stars, the moon, the places that be, and the state we're in, but everyone is not afraid of you, but envy you. You have left a stain, yet everyday the universe will know your name as a Reigning King, so if you are real, come save me from the edge of a sword. Save me from the barrel of a firearm, and show me that you are in control. Stop the blood from oozing over my spirit, and maybe make it like it was you. Unlikely, like you to work and want to be known as nameless Jay. Are you too a blue Jay of the mornings glory? Singing sweet Melodies of memories about the heaven, for heavens sake, why don't you respond to the empty room for me, I might catch the echo and rhythm vibrate through the ears of the night wind before your knowing. You. You. Only you. Authorship by Mr. Dashaun Rashod Snipes ©Mr. Dashaun Rashod Snipes ® You
The worst thing is kids running wild around the hot tub, ruins it for everyone else. Have seen it too often.
Am I the only one who feels there should be a strict no kids rule for hot tubs?
You didn’t like hot tubs when you were a kid? Kids like to warm up after swimming too, and these aren’t toddlers but pre-teen kids. Parents paid for their whole family’s access to pool AND hot tub so why are they less entitled to use it?
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Nah, it’s a public pool and the kids are the public as much as you. The pool is still open at 9pm with no age restrictions so not sure why only adults with no kids are welcome? Kids aren’t assumed as the priority but they are equally entitled to use the pool AND hot tub as you, who cares if it’s in a separate room. Was there a sign stating it’s only for adults? Kids love hot tubs and there’s no way they will play in the water in silence and without excitement. It’s like when some old lady ragged on my friend at MCdonalds for her baby fussing…like it’s MCDONALDS, what expectations of quiet adult coffee and convo time would one reasonably have choosing a family frequented location? Go to Starbucks maybe. If they wanted a kid free experience the couple could have chosen an adult only resort or a different time/location to sit on top of each other and kiss. People call out people that have kids for being “entitled” literally for existing but the adults wanting kids banned aren’t entitled?
Nah, I'm a grown up, and don't want to see a couple sensously kissing in front of me, wet in a hot tub with the chick sitting on top of the man. Come on now.
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Yea, YTA! You sound like a crabby old get off my lawn person. They are kids, at a hotel and a pool, and they're having fun...
They aren't even at the pool(that's in another room)
Load More Replies... This is nonsense. Not everything the world has to be "kid safe" especially at 9pm! The couple were not acting inappropriately. The parents were doing nothing to make sure their kids didn't bother others. But the couple didn't complain about the kids. If the couple went to the kiddie pool to grope each other in the middle of the day, you people would be correct. But a couple showing public affection at 9pm in a room next to the pool is in no way inappropriate. If you don't want to control your children, go to kids only places where the hotel staff parent for you.
most spas that i know have rules, concerning the public display of affection - which is to be kept to a minimum (there are also rules for the behavior and admittance of kids) this might however be specific to countries where naked saunas are part of spa culture
Load More Replies... Damn, why are people so prude? It's not like they were having sex in public! I'm sure the kids have seen worse on TV. They probably didn't even notice.
Those kids didn't care, guaranteed! Parents sound like some main character syndrome, however.
Load More Replies... If the other family was uncomfortable with the affection being exchanged between OP and his spouse then they could leave the area.
It's a public area that they'd paid to have access to. If he wants the Mrs sat on his crotch in a hot tub, book a room with its own hot tub.
Load More Replies... I was with him until he stated his assumption that they should be in school. Literally a million reasons why kids would be traveling with their parents midweek. So i went back and re-read the post. Many of his assumptions were erroneous. Kids play. I don't like noise, i leave. Simultaneously, adults kiss in public. Someone doesn't like it, THEY can leave. ESH
Right, but this was late at night... It's a -reasonable- assumption that there wouldn't be any kids around (which doesn't matter anyway because as you said, adults kiss).
Load More Replies... Maybe leaving the kids out of it and replying with a simple “No” would have been a bit better, so not perfect, but definitely NTA. Tasteful, respectful, PDA’s that simply communicates “I love you” is something I wish we saw more often, not less. Obviously, nobody wants to see a tongue-wrestling, gyrating couple in public (well, most people, anyway), but honest, tasteful PDA’s between a couple that loves each other is a beautiful thing no matter where it is. The message you edited into your post to your wife – nice touch.
NTA. And those a-hole parents absolutely should have kept their kids from behaving like wild animals.
I've seen couples in hot tubs and other public places give PDA. My husband and I have no issue displaying PDA either. Obviously we're mindful of were we are at, but we'll hold hands, kiss (pecks only), and snuggle. As long as people aren't grinding all up on each other or taking it too far, who cares? Let people be happy and enjoy their relationship. I get PDA is not for everyone but that doesn't mean they get to control what others do.
You stated nothing sexual, and completely covered. I'd tell that nice couple with the 3 demons to kindly p**s off.
If she's sat on his crotch kissing him, thees no way he's not getting a semi on. In a public space. With children. If they want to engage in frotage, book a room with a private hot tub.
Ok, it was a kiss. She wasn't straddling him, he didn't have his tongue halfway down her throat. That being said, if this was me and my hubby, that's the scene we would have had when the other couple made their comment. Also, the kids weren't in the POOL, they were in the HOT TUB. Children shouldn't even be in a HOT TUB.
Why shouldn’t kids be in a hot tub? Literally every single swimming facility and community center pool has a hot tub, and those places are for kids to enjoy them. Why are only adults allowed to warm up in a hot tub? You didn’t ever go in a hot tub till after your 18th birthday huh?
Load More Replies... The sweet message to his wife at the end of the post got me right in the feels. I'm so happy they are still so in love with each other! Screw those other folks! They are just jealous. I hope this man and his wife enjoy many more happy years together ❤️
I cannot at all understand those parents. Why should kissing something your kids should not see?
Chad and Karen should take their f_ck trophies and leave. If I saw the couple in that situation, I'd stay in the other area and give them space and privacy, though I'm not going to leave either.
You | Poem: Once upon a time, I thought I knew you. It's just amazing the new you. Life has been good and on your side to keep you. Who are you to me love? I've been going down, way down, and when I look up to see your hands stretching out for me, how is it I don't recognize you. You stopped by disgrace to see if you could find yourself within me. No, it's only you, all about you, from you, because of you outlying the standard. You never know about your own unless you fall asleep and then wake up beside nobody else to comfort you and your mind, how you can do so high, and have the whole wide world to be paralyzed by the thought of you, you're Omni anarchy, it's just like you are taking over the Stars, the moon, the places that be, and the state we're in, but everyone is not afraid of you, but envy you. You have left a stain, yet everyday the universe will know your name as a Reigning King, so if you are real, come save me from the edge of a sword. Save me from the barrel of a firearm, and show me that you are in control. Stop the blood from oozing over my spirit, and maybe make it like it was you. Unlikely, like you to work and want to be known as nameless Jay. Are you too a blue Jay of the mornings glory? Singing sweet Melodies of memories about the heaven, for heavens sake, why don't you respond to the empty room for me, I might catch the echo and rhythm vibrate through the ears of the night wind before your knowing. You. You. Only you. Authorship by Mr. Dashaun Rashod Snipes ©Mr. Dashaun Rashod Snipes ® You
The worst thing is kids running wild around the hot tub, ruins it for everyone else. Have seen it too often.
Am I the only one who feels there should be a strict no kids rule for hot tubs?
You didn’t like hot tubs when you were a kid? Kids like to warm up after swimming too, and these aren’t toddlers but pre-teen kids. Parents paid for their whole family’s access to pool AND hot tub so why are they less entitled to use it?
Load More Replies... Nah, it’s a public pool and the kids are the public as much as you. The pool is still open at 9pm with no age restrictions so not sure why only adults with no kids are welcome? Kids aren’t assumed as the priority but they are equally entitled to use the pool AND hot tub as you, who cares if it’s in a separate room. Was there a sign stating it’s only for adults? Kids love hot tubs and there’s no way they will play in the water in silence and without excitement. It’s like when some old lady ragged on my friend at MCdonalds for her baby fussing…like it’s MCDONALDS, what expectations of quiet adult coffee and convo time would one reasonably have choosing a family frequented location? Go to Starbucks maybe. If they wanted a kid free experience the couple could have chosen an adult only resort or a different time/location to sit on top of each other and kiss. People call out people that have kids for being “entitled” literally for existing but the adults wanting kids banned aren’t entitled?
Nah, I'm a grown up, and don't want to see a couple sensously kissing in front of me, wet in a hot tub with the chick sitting on top of the man. Come on now.
Load More Replies... Yea, YTA! You sound like a crabby old get off my lawn person. They are kids, at a hotel and a pool, and they're having fun...
They aren't even at the pool(that's in another room)
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