“AITA For Refusing To Stop Touching My Wife And Telling A Couple To Keep Their Kids In Check?”
Interview With Author
People’s opinions on PDA differ from person to person. Some people deem it inappropriate, while others believe there’s nothing wrong with a little show of affection in front of others. The author of this story found himself in a little conundrum while on vacation with his wife.
The couple got a bit touchy with each other in the hotel’s hot tub and got some critical comments from another married couple. The parents thought the couple’s behavior was not appropriate for their kids to see. The OP, in turn, snapped back at the parents, saying they should better control their children so they stop disturbing them and the other vacationers.
The author went on to r/AITAH to get more impressions on who was right, and the opinion was divided.
The author u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick was kind enough to answer some questions for Bored Panda. He told us more about why he decided to seek the Internet’s opinion and what his general opinion on public displays of affection is. Read our interview with him below!
Seeing people being affectionate with each other can make those around feel uncomfortable
Image credits: micens / Envato (not the actual photo)
This man asked the Internet whether he and his wife were rightfully called out for getting a little touchy during vacation
Image credits: crystalsing / Envato (not the actual photo)
The OP later edited his post to add a sweet message to his wife
Image credits: AnnoyedPricklyPrick
He also answered some questions from the commenters
The OP wanted to get an unbiased opinion from people who don’t personally know him
Bored Panda reached out to the author of this story, u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick, and he agreed to tell us more about it. The OP tells us he was looking for neutral opinions on the incident since the people who know him and his wife wouldn’t be as objective.
“I was genuinely curious what people thought. I had hoped that I would get more genuine opinions by asking anonymously online,” the Redditor tells us. “Or rather, ones that weren’t tainted by people extrapolating based on what they already knew about me, like my family would.”
The OP tells us that his family members didn’t think he and his wife were being inappropriate. However, he also says that they’ve seen them behave this way for many years, so they might be more used to it. The family took more issue with how the OP handled the children’s behavior.
“My siblings and mother all know that I don’t like kids and that I can be quite irritable and snippy with people, so they assumed that I was overly snappish and that the kids probably weren’t actually out of line. An annoying inference, but I suppose I understand why they made it,” the Redditor admits.
However, u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick feels like other Redditors weren’t as neutral as he expected. “There seemed to be a lot of people making up details to suit themselves anyway,” the OP added. “And that applies to people with all sorts of thoughts on whether I was the [jerk] or not.”
The OP doesn’t see anything wrong with public displays of affection
Image credits: Katie Salerno / Pexels (not the actual photo)
We also asked the OP what he thinks the line is between appropriate and inappropriate when it comes to being affectionate in public. “Personally, I think as long as sexual stimulation isn’t happening, public displays of affection are perfectly fine and should be normal,” the Redditor tells us.
“I think, generally, way too many people associate touching with sex when really it’s only an indication of comfort and affection. I suppose that’s not unexpected from me.”
“That said, I can see now how someone might have been worried that my wife and I were being sexual with each other, even though we weren’t.” The Redditor also reiterates that the joke his wife made wasn’t even remotely sexual. “[It] was about the class she taught the previous semester. It wasn’t anything inappropriate,” u/AnnoyedPricklyPrick says.
Whether PDA is appropriate or not depends on various factors
Image credits: Andrea Piacquadio / Pexels (not the actual photo)
It’s evident by the differing opinions in the comments under this story that there’s no unanimous opinion on whether public displays of affection are appropriate or not. The truth is that there’s no definitive answer. Whether people think it’s okay or not depends on many different circumstances.
First, of course, is simple personal preference. Some people like it, some don’t, simple as that. However, those preferences depend on various factors, such as upbringing, culture, and social context.
A clinical psychologist who specializes in relationships, Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, tells VeryWell Mind that those who have affectionate parents might be more comfortable with showing affection publicly to their partner.
Some people also think there’s a time and place for PDA. It’s okay to kiss in a bar, for example, but a workplace might be a big no-no. It may also depend on cultural values: some cultures encourage affectionate behaviors. Others, which are more conservative, prohibit any show of affection in public spaces.
Beingwell’s life coach, Grace McMahon, told InStyle that engaging in PDAs is exciting for some. “A PDA can actually make our hearts race and our bodies feel hotter, creating an enjoyable rush of excitement.
“In fact, just the simplest touch, like holding hands (which can lower cortisol levels), can see us get physically addicted to mild levels of PDA; they get the oxytocin flowing, which helps us feel more secure in our relationships, so it’s not all bad… even if it is soppy.”
People had mixed opinions. Some believed that the OP was not the jerk
Others thought everyone here was acting like jerks
And others expressed how they thought the OP and his wife acted inappropriately
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This is nonsense. Not everything the world has to be "kid safe" especially at 9pm! The couple were not acting inappropriately. The parents were doing nothing to make sure their kids didn't bother others. But the couple didn't complain about the kids. If the couple went to the kiddie pool to grope each other in the middle of the day, you people would be correct. But a couple showing public affection at 9pm in a room next to the pool is in no way inappropriate. If you don't want to control your children, go to kids only places where the hotel staff parent for you.
most spas that i know have rules, concerning the public display of affection - which is to be kept to a minimum (there are also rules for the behavior and admittance of kids) this might however be specific to countries where naked saunas are part of spa culture
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Damn, why are people so prude? It's not like they were having sex in public! I'm sure the kids have seen worse on TV. They probably didn't even notice.
Those kids didn't care, guaranteed! Parents sound like some main character syndrome, however.
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If the other family was uncomfortable with the affection being exchanged between OP and his spouse then they could leave the area.
It's a public area that they'd paid to have access to. If he wants the Mrs sat on his crotch in a hot tub, book a room with its own hot tub.
Load More Replies... This is nonsense. Not everything the world has to be "kid safe" especially at 9pm! The couple were not acting inappropriately. The parents were doing nothing to make sure their kids didn't bother others. But the couple didn't complain about the kids. If the couple went to the kiddie pool to grope each other in the middle of the day, you people would be correct. But a couple showing public affection at 9pm in a room next to the pool is in no way inappropriate. If you don't want to control your children, go to kids only places where the hotel staff parent for you.
most spas that i know have rules, concerning the public display of affection - which is to be kept to a minimum (there are also rules for the behavior and admittance of kids) this might however be specific to countries where naked saunas are part of spa culture
Load More Replies... Damn, why are people so prude? It's not like they were having sex in public! I'm sure the kids have seen worse on TV. They probably didn't even notice.
Those kids didn't care, guaranteed! Parents sound like some main character syndrome, however.
Load More Replies... If the other family was uncomfortable with the affection being exchanged between OP and his spouse then they could leave the area.
It's a public area that they'd paid to have access to. If he wants the Mrs sat on his crotch in a hot tub, book a room with its own hot tub.
Load More Replies...
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