Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
“Haven’t Spoken To My ‘Parents’ In Over 10 Years”: 30 People Reveal Their Thoughts On Parents Kicking Their Kids Out At 18
It's a well-known fact that some birds throw their babies out of the nest to hone their flying skills and build up strength, to help them make it on their own in this big, cruel world of ours.
The same survival tactic, it turns out, is also used by our fellow humans. However, considering that mother nature doesn't have a fluctuating economy and eye-watering student debts, it's only fitting that not everyone will approve of parents kicking their kids out as soon as they turn 18.
So, to understand what the general consensus is on this age-old rite of passage, someone asked the r/AskReddit community "What do you think of the parents that kick their kids out as soon as they have turned 18 years old?" Of course, the responses were as mixed-bag and as thought-provoking as always.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
They're not Italian, that's for sure.
Here in Italy, when the "child" is finally ready to leave the house at the age of 35, the family gets together to bid them a tearful goodbye... before they move 1km away from their parent's house.
Rosa Carone-Prendergast 2 years ago
I was born in Italy but raised in the U.S. My Italian family would NEVER kick their kids out of the house. I stayed home until I got married at 29. I had the whole upstairs to myself and I got along with my parents so why leave? Although I paid for all my own stuff my parents never asked me for rent money either.
JoAnna Volante 2 years ago
Italian heritage here, I always told my kids” I’d be happy if you grew up to be like uncle Joe; don’t get married until you’re 45, then move downstairs “.
Tanja Höpfl 2 years ago
I'm in Germany. My daughter is 26 and still lives me. Here in Germany we don't kick our children out, as soon as they get 18.
Hakitosama 2 years ago
Most Mediterranean family still work in a clan mindset. It's not unusual to have several generations living in one big house. The mindset of "you're legally an adult gtfo" is VERY recent in occidental culture. It started during the Golden because life was affordable back then and capitalism managed to sell us that THAT was the norm and not a weird short period of time
In a world where adulthood is supposed to beckon independence and self-sufficiency, what happens when your own flesh and blood refuses to take flight? When, if ever, can you pull the plug on their cozy existence?
While the age of 18 might mark the end of a child's legal childhood, it's a murky path to navigate from there. Sure, in the bygone days, this wasn't such a big deal when young adults could live well from a single paycheck from McDonald's - an idea that is as baffling to current generations, as it still is achievable, according to some out-of-touch parents. Parents, then, find themselves torn between their obligations to provide a nurturing home and the growing frustration of having a child who shows no interest in venturing into the real world.
RELATED:
#2
My parents are foster parents (they’re my bio parents but they’ve been doing foster care all my 30 years of life) and they don’t kick out the foster kids when they turn 18. When children’s aid stops supporting them (usually at 18) my parents step up and help the kids until they can comfortably move out or until they want to. They have a 25 yr old still living with them because she fears abandonment and my parents don’t want her to leave lol. They love each other. My parents helped out over 20 kids throughout my life to try to become successful human beings, no matter how long it takes. Many of them are still in contact with us. We took them in and loved them. How can parents who raised their own children kick them out just because they reached “adult” status. I just don’t get it lol.
Terri Rimmer 2 years ago
I was in four foster homes in the 80s and had to leave at 18. Luckily I was going off to college after spending the summer with my mom and step dad or I would've been homeless.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
I am absolutely baffled at why this lovely post ends with “lol.” What was funny? Did I miss a joke?
FantastiKitty 2 years ago
That's a thing people do now, apparently, I guess it's like nervous laughing.
Load More Replies...
Dawnieangel76 2 years ago
My plan was always to be that kind of foster parent, especially taking in older kids who normally don't get fostered/adopted because of their age. Unfortunately, my foster children who I'm still raising are my adult siblings....
A. Starhawk Hunt 2 years ago
there are instances where it is reasonable to have even a child leave, such as the child abusing the parent, or committing crimes that are heinous, but it should be more like your world, OP
As today's discussion proves, there comes a point when many parents believe that turning a blind eye to their pleas for continued support might seem harsh at first, but pays off in the end. Although, it's not a one-size-fits-all solution, as Carl E Pickhardt, a Harvard-trained psychologist-parenting expert and the author of 'Holding On While Letting Go: Parenting Your Child Through the Four Freedoms of Adolescence,' reminds us.
"The child’s transition through the 10-to-12-year coming-of-age passage that we call 'adolescence' is not only the harder half of growing up," Pickhardt told Bored Panda, "it is also the harder half of parenting as more youthful separation, differentiation, and opposition now make the parent/child relationship more complicated and challenging for all parties."
#3
It's trashy behavior and bad parenting. Your role as a parent doesn't suddenly expire when your child turns 18. It also shows an unhealthy relationship to your child, as if they were some kind of burden that you're counting down to be rid of. Now, if a kid goes to college or something and moves out at 18? Different story. But children should always feel that they have a place in their family's home, regardless of their age or what life might throw at them.
The Mom 2 years ago (edited)
Preach. I think it is sickening. Cousin kicked out two daughters but not the son.
Person 2 years ago
There is a case where I have found it's okay. For some backup info I'm a minor and my parents made this decision for my brother when he was 19. But my brother was unwilling to take steps forward in life, was taking advantage and mentally abusing the family so they made him leave. We are now close and he has changed and found himself but my family didn't want him to continue to harm everyone and make the house toxic. They still were willing to help him but they made it clear they weren't going to let him treat the family like he was.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Depends on the kid. If they're just freeloading, not in school, not working, then do what you can to help them get over their "failure to launch". But if they're going to school locally, why not let them live at home while in school? If they're not interested in college, but want to learn a trade, then it shouldn't be a problem for them to live at home until they've advanced enough in their training to afford to live on their own? If they want to wait a year or two before going to college---maybe to finally decide what career they want---and will be working fulltime until they're ready for college, then maybe turn a couple bills over to them, so they learn, bit by bit, that being on your means the FIRST thing you have to do with your money is pay your rent/mortgage and bills on time and at least for the minimum amount allowed. The Bank, your landlord/lender, and all the companies your bills come from aren't your parents, they don't love you, and they aren't going to put up with excuses for why you can't pay---unless you've been an excellent customer of theirs and have always paid your bill on time for years, and even then they'll only give you a little leeway. I went to college late in life. I remember a lot of my younger classmates whose parents were paying their tuition until they f****d up and partied the first year instead of studying. That's when my classmates were told that they could continue to live at home BUT they had to go to work full time, work steadily at the same job for a year, and pay all their bills, plus a portion of the groceries, or some similar arrangement. Then ,and only then, would their parents consider helping them go to college---only this time they had to start at the local community college and transfer to a local university to finish their Bachelor's. Every single one of my classmates who had that kind of arrangement, or similar, after f*****g up their first attempt at college, told me they were initially angry, but now totally understood why their parents did it. Because they'd had a full year of working 40+ hours every week, and ending up with very little left over after paying bills, and realized they'd never get any further in life, or live much above poverty level, unless they had a degree, or training in a good-paying trade. Some kids just need a hard lesson to finally "get it."
BeepBoop is Lonely (she/they) 2 years ago
I think this is the longest comment I've ever seen. Where do you happen to be using BP on? On mobile browser it always cuts off my words and I have to finish in a reply on myself
Load More Replies...
FABULOUS1 2 years ago
I hate hearing parents say they cannot wait for their kids to turn 18 so they will move out.
Natasha Remus 2 years ago
My youngest is 21 and living at home working and going to school. I have two horses, two dogs, and two cats and she helps with all of them. She is such a great help and my husband and I are planning to go on vacation in the fall and I am so happy that we have her at home to take care of all the animals.
Load More Replies...
R Dennis 2 years ago
One my stepkids had a friend whose dad kicked him out on his 18th birthday. He moved in with us for about 6 months. We had a couple of them live with us for a bit... One of my stepsons messed up (police involved) and he was given the choice to accept a punishment (giving up his car keys for a while) or leave - he was 18, so I couldn't force him to take the punishment and he left. He moved back for awhile in his early 20s, but he was never barred from our home.
RedCorvette 2 years ago
My son is 26 and is in the Marines. But I keep his bedroom as is in my house so he has a home to come home to.
Natasha Remus 2 years ago
My son is in the Air Force. He is overseas and works so hard and will always be welcomed (and loved) at home.
Load More Replies...
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I'm currently 48 and living with my parents. It's temporary while I'm looking to buy a new condo, but it's wonderful to be able to come "home" any time I need to. They have let my brother and I know that there is always a place for us to go. I can't imagine being kicked out at 18. :( I was still basically a kid at that age, despite being a legal adult. I'm very lucky in that they were able to support me going to college, where I was able to learn to be independent and a (somewhat) productive member of society. :)
Id row 2 years ago
My parents didn't have to bother kicking me out. I left at 17. Over 30 years later and I still get the, "Why don't you visit more?" Because I can't breathe and am a giant ball of anxiety until I hit the highway going home when I visit. Once I get the toll ticket going south, I can finally breathe again.
Mobile Gaming Chronicles 1 year ago
Yeah I agree, at 19 in 2013 going on 20 I was working part time as a dishwasher at $7.25 an hour, and my mother threaten to kick me out if I didn't pay $250 a month in rent, which was basically half my income after taxes. I did move out on my own in early 2015 when I had a Security job and got paid to go to College, but in 2016 I wasn't able to donate plasma anymore due to my high pulse, and I was only able to go to College half time spring 2016, so half pay there (about $500 a month), then my hours at work got cut in half and I was moved from overnight to the day shift 16 hours a week 2 8 hour shifts, needless to say I moved back in with my parents, but then 2016 my parents charged me $400 a month, up 60% from 2013! 2018, $500 a month. Last year $600 a month. It sucks, either pay this money or get out!
Mobile Gaming Chronicles 1 year ago
My parents and I had an argument today before dinner, and basically my own mother said if I get a raise, my rent will go up. I pay $150 a week ($600 a month), and then she said oh $175 a week. I get a raise every 3 months, but damn if she's going to raise the rent $100 a month every 3 months if I tell her I got a raise, I won't make it. So I won't tell her I got a raise, it's none of her business if she's going to treat me like garbage.
Load More Replies...
Jacqueline Roberts Dacosta 2 years ago
My 53 yr old son lived with me nearly all his life In England often when a couple get married they live in the parents front room until they save a bit
#4
Kicking out your kid as soon as you're legally allowed to do so tells me you wanted them out of the house even earlier and the only reason you didn't do it is because you didn't want to be arrested.
James Howell 2 years ago
My poor Momma was booted at 17. Yes, she was a high school graduate{she started 1st grade at 4 1/2} .The day of her graduation, was her last day at home. It changed the trajectory of her life. She met my dad, got pregnant the first time and had to marry him. He was an abusive monster to her and I. I took her out the day I graduated. We rebuilt her life while I started mine. She's in a facility now due to the constant head trauma. Some members of my family have trown in my face the shame of her " running of and getting married" The person that said this wasn't born until 7 yrs after the fact. My mother's life was ruined by that selfish decision . Too may children, and catholic guilt, shame, etc. It still messes with my mind... My Beloved Mother. Please reconsider if thinking about having children if you're not ready for the long haul.
J Nelson 2 years ago
I know I wasn't wanted in the house. My mom told me she didn't cry when they dropped me off at college after high school. I don't know what point was made other than she wasn't sad.
Nikole 2 years ago
Damn. Even my dad cried when I left for college. Yeah, why did she even say that??
Load More Replies... 
Amy Smith 2 years ago (edited)
I had a partner years ago whose family was like this, she had about 6 brothers. Every one of them was expected leave as soon as they hit whatever age the child tax credits ended, no negotiation. It was as if their kids were no use to them anymore, even giving up on education and getting a job to pay them rent wasn't an option. She was in a right state when she was about to turn 18 as she didn't have a full time job and knew she wouldn't be able to afford anywhere to live, her stress and upset made me so sad. Her parents as people (to everyone else) were actually seemingly quite nice folk but the way they treated their kids... Nope.
TheElderNom 2 years ago
This picture is very uncomfortable considering the depressing subject.
#5
I work in homeless services, focusing on transitional aged youth between 18 and 24 who have been in the foster care system or Probation camp. The amount of youth who I have worked with who get kicked out at 18 is disgusting. As soon as they turn 18, the checks for fostering youth stop and the foster parents no longer feel incentivized to house these youths, regardless of the bonds formed. So out you go to make room for another paycheck to come in.
To top it off, neither the foster parents nor the system prepare these youths for the reality ahead. They are extremely financially illiterate and have no idea how to navigate life. It's so sad and depressing.
TeenieMeanie 2 years ago
Thank you and all the good people working in social services! Foster youth need all the help. If anyone in the US wants to volunteer, look up your local TAY or CASA office.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
Then those people should be permanently removed from the foster parent listings. I thought they vetted potential foster parents better, as the kids and the system have been abused in the past, and evidently is still being abused in the present. Troubled kids, and kids who have lost their parents for whatever reason (death, incarceration, etc) and have nowhere else to go, should never be looked at as just another paycheck, then kicked out with zero life skills when the paycheck ends, FFS! They need REAL parents, or parental substitutes if one or both of their parents are alive and may be allowed to have custody of them again, to help them grow into well-balanced and responsible adults. Kick them out when they're not ready, and you just perpetuate the cycle of whatever issues their parents had (and there are a lot that can put a child in the foster care system). This is a scandal, tbh, and should not be happening anywhere. We all, every country, need to adequately fund---and staff---all our Social Services offices, so they have enough people to properly vet potential foster parents, and find decent, caring, and truly qualified people to foster, not a******s who look at the kids as just another paycheck.
Darmon Hackmiester 2 years ago (edited)
I’m I foster parent, I’ve welcomed back foster children after they left, screwed up, then screwed up again and didn’t have them pay rent. Don’t make generalizations, jerk.
Wonderful 2 years ago
Not all foster parents do this though. My parents didn't. Sometimes we would have former fosters come live with us years after they became adults. In fact I know of more foster homes who do everything they can to help a child even if it is their 18th birthday. Yes the money from the "government" may stop but our hearts don't.
Upstaged75 2 years ago
I honestly don't understand how anyone could do that to a child they've bonded with! How heartless. :(
Terri Rimmer 2 years ago
I can tell you none of my foster parents, four sets could've afforded to keep me after 18 but luckily I was able to go to college. I'm glad they raised the age to 21 as I was told anyway.
Joe Average 2 years ago
Seems like care ought to extend a few years past high school graduation. That's a lot of changes in quick succession.
Vanessa MacKenzie 1 year ago (edited)
My foster daughter is my daughter's best friend. When we saw her life at the age of 14 spiralling out of control (d***s, alcohol, stealing etc, attempting suicide and in and out of the mental health ward) and foster home after foster home, as well as family and homelessness with her mother, we offered her to come and live with us when she turned 16 if needed. Provided her a safe space to hang out before that. She had been telling her social worker that she wanted to live with us. When the last group home, she was in, closed, we were asked if we'd take her sooner. She has been with us since July this year, and we have had 2 incidents of self-harm due to a huge change in something outside of home. No admittance to mental health ward, no d***s, no alcohol, no stealing. She knows, as my 32 year old is still living at home, that she will only need to move out when she's ready, and can come back if she doesn't make it first time around, and she's learning budget and cooking skills.
I'mtiredboss. 2 years ago
Wouldn't it be nice if all those greedy corporate CEOs took some of their billions to build transition homes to help get these abandoned 18 year olds educated so they can become productive members of society. Wouldn't it be nice.
In the past, this bump-and-stumble approach might have worked just fine, as Pickhardt explains. However, in the present era, characterized by its intricate and rapidly evolving landscape, this method exposes young individuals to greater risks and potential harm.
In Australia, for example, over 44,000 children and young individuals find themselves in the challenging circumstances of out-of-home care. And while it's not fair to compare out-of-home care children with ones that live in the nest of their guardians, a distressing report by the Australian Housing and Research Institute has revealed that within a year after being kicked out of state care in Victoria, half of the 400 young individuals find themselves without a home, falling victim to the harsh grip of homelessness. And that must be telling something.
#6
I got kicked out of my mom's house at 15 because my mom was a headcase, and my OCD went off the scale because of the mental abuse. Dad didn't want to take me in and told me so, but my stepmom forced his hand. The day I graduated HS, my stuff was on the lawn with the locks changed.
Then I had to live with years of angry messages on the answering machine, 'How come you never call?!?! Why do you hate our family?!?!'
I even got accused last week by a family member that I made the whole thing up when she was trying to tell me that I'm a bad person for ignoring my mom. The level of the narcissism of some people is unbelievable.
Cari Owens 2 years ago
I don't get the parents who treat their kids like complete c**p then wonder why the hell their kids don't want anything to do with them.
Callie Ge 2 years ago
I got kicked out at 15, I got an ultimatum “ Agree to marry the man she had picked for me, or get out” , the “man “ was 10 years older than me, an un medicated paranoid schizophrenic, butt ugly & just plain creepy. Oh & she was having an affair with him ( she was 🦇💩🤪 The fact that I already had a boyfriend was irrelevant. Of course I refused so she kicked me out, I left with a suitcase of clothes & my sewing machine. Years later She Accused Me of abandoning her, she who still had my Father & both my brothers at home . I went very low contact for many years.
I just work here 2 years ago
That's when you change your phone number and don't give it out to family...
Terri Rimmer 2 years ago
My mom told my cousins I was away at boarding school when I was in high school when the reality was I was in foster homes, a children's home, all kinds of places. My cousins chose to believe her instead of me.
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
I will repeat this frequently: you don't have to have a relationship with a******s. You may need to change your phone number and name. My mom found me at 55 and needed to be taken in. Had zero relationship.
Cari Owens 1 year ago
How delusional are the parents? Kicked out as soon as the parents could, tossed their stuff on the lawn, *changed the locks* and they wonder why the OP doesn't want to talk to them??
#7
A girl from my class came home after our grad night party to find two garbage bags with her stuff in them. They didn't even tie it so when it rained that night it filled up the bags with water and destroyed her laptop, pictures, and clothing.
Her parents showed up at her house last year on Independence Day because their house burned down from a firework mishap. I'm told the husband just asked them to leave. Oh, and I should add they didn't have insurance on the home so they were pretty much screwed.
Elio 2 years ago
Serves them right. I don't have kids by choice, but I don't get why have a child if you're going to do this
Kat Hoth 2 years ago
Because sometimes sperm donors and host wombs forget to use contraception. Then you get raised by people who hate you because of their mistakes...
Load More Replies...
#8
It's their right, but I disagree with it. I was kicked out the day I turned 17. I lived out of my car for 3 months while working fast food and completing my senior year. I would've probably dropped out had it not been for my best friends dad. He found out about the situation and forced me to move in with them. He wouldn't take no for an answer. He had recently got divorced because his stay at home wife was cheating on him. Because they had a spare bedroom and I was friends with both his sons that lived with him, he told me "It's just us guys living there and having fun. You stay until you finish school. After that, you can pay $100 a month in rent until you decide what to do. Don't argue with me." The man's a saint. I wouldn't have been able to keep going to school without him, and he knew it. He's a guy who had to drop out to work back in the day to support his family. He got his GED and clawed his way up to head engineer at a factory so he could afford a nice home for his wife and kids. He bought a nice two story home that he barely got to stay in for a women who didn't appreciate him. The man even came home every single day and cooked meals for us to make sure we'd eat.
In the middle of fighting a divorce, trying to get custody of both of his kids, and keep the house he paid for, he took me in, adding to the stress. He did that for me just because I was friends with his sons. If I ever get rich, that man is getting an early retirement and a comfortable home wherever he chooses. If that man can do all that for someone that isn't his child, parents have no excuse for not helping their own kids out.
Edit: I had no idea this would blow up this much...thank you, everyone. I just wanted to answer some questions that are being asked.
This was years ago and I still bump into them from time to time, but we've all drifted apart in these years due to adult lives being... busy, lol. I still talk to them every once and a while. They are still my friends and I can hit them all up any time I wanted to. I still play Xbox with the sons a few times a year. I always make sure to have them tell their dad thank you for me. I had a serious heartfelt talk with him about a year after I graduated and moved out. I still think about that man nearly every day of my life.
As for my family, I was not a perfect child at all and I have some blame. The thing is, I honestly feel I never would have been the way I was in my later teen years had they been more accepting of myself and my lifestyle. I saw my other friends being able to come to their parents and talk to them without fear of judgement from them, or God. Ultimately, religion is the reason I was kicked out. They are strict southern Baptist.
I did cut my parents out of my life for three years after I was kicked out. They never contacted me for the first year. They tried to reconnect after the first year, but I have them two more years of silence. I let them back in my life, but on my terms. It was easy to make my demands considering I didn't need them anymore. We now have a healthy relationship. We can finally look each other in the eyes and be honest. I no longer fear their judgement, that's honestly the ingredient we were missing in our relationship. I now spend a decent amount of time with my father and mother. It's funny, my dad and I actually have long conversations about our different ideologies and beliefs. We even poke fun at each other about it. It's nice, considering I never actually was able to connect with him much growing up. I'm the first male in the past 5 generations of my family that didn't become a southern Baptist pastor. I think my father sees it as opportunity to understand how people living a different life than him are. And i see it as an opportunity to better understand why he did what he did. A lesson i had to learn the hard way is that it's better to seek understanding than to live with hate in your heart. He respects me and I respect him.
It was hard for my mom at first. She comes from a small town of 300 people where everyone goes to church happily and believes anything their parents tell them. She would be abrasive with me at first when I would talk about how I drink, or live with my girlfriend. Hell, she still does from time to time, but my father always nudges her into calming down.
Edit 2: I keep seeing people say "it's not their right" which I understand, but it's not really an argument worth pursuing. As a 17 year old who just got kicked out, I didn't want to get the police involved. That meant either I move to a foster home an hour or two away, and then lose my friends as well as my family. That or they force my parents to take me back and life just gets worse. I was happier living in my car. As scary as it is being a kid on your own, it was better than the alternatives.
- 2 years ago
Wow. I'm so glad the friend's father got involved. A former colleague's brother took in three sisters as each one turned 18 and was kicked out by their mother. The oldest helped support her two younger sisters and did fine. No contact with the biological mother. Not surprised that this man preferred living in his car - some teenagers leave difficult situations because it's emotionally easier to be homeless.
Joyce Plaate 2 years ago
I think it is really wonderful that you and your bio family have progressed to such a healthy relationship after all that. Please consider actively making time for your un-official adoptive parent, too. I think it should be quite easy nowadays with modern technology and social media. Tell him I think he's a saint.
drama fever 2 years ago
regardless of lifestyle, religion or God, throwing your child out because of your beliefs is not what God wants. I have my beliefs too and if any of my children ever came to me with an issue or problem or had to tell me something, I would not throw them out, I always told my kids they can come to us no matter what and to never be afraid of being honest. I think the best example to give as someone that believes in God is to love and be patient and continue praying for your children.
Saint Tim the Godless 2 years ago
Case in point: All religions are evil, but ESPECIALLY the southern baptists. I believe there may be a whole circle of hell for them.
JK 2 years ago
Good on you, you've been through a sh*tstorm and not only weathered it, but thrived afterwards. It takes a lot of hard mental work to go through and process that sort of thing, to grow from it, and maintain a level of emotional balance and maturity. I tip my hat to you, good sir 🎩
Dawnieangel76 2 years ago
Blood isn't always thicker than water. Half my life ago, I met a friend in SC through internet roleplaying. I was being abused at home, and she knew about it. After speaking with her family, they invited me to pack up & come live with them, sight unseen. And I did just that. Stayed with them for 6 months until EVERYONE was assured I'd no longer be abused at home. My SC family, along with my family physician, threatened mom's 2nd husband with violence AND going to jail. I still spent the next decade visiting them every summer for 2 weeks at a time. They were my second family, and didn't have to do a thing for me, but they did. We don't talk any longer, but if they needed me for anything, I'd be there in a heartbeat.
"I believe in providing young people for adulthood with responsible self-management preparation in the adolescent years; not simply 'forcing' them into adulthood at age 18 with abandonment," Pickhardt explained. The approach he suggests for preparing young individuals for adulthood involves parents establishing a form of agreement, commonly known as a "freedom contract."
This type of preparation for adulthood, rooted in evidence-based parenting, operates on the principle of mutual understanding. "You demonstrate the behaviors we expect from you, and in turn, you are more likely to receive what you desire from us," he said. The 'contract' encompasses key provisions such as providing accurate information, honoring commitments, taking responsibility for choices, fostering mutual support, engaging in open discussions, and communicating with courtesy and respect.
#9
I've never met anyone who does this and is also a decent human being. They're always like "kids gotta learn to stand on their own two feet, I don't care if my kid is homeless and gets assaulted, life's not fair lol, pull yourself up by your bootstraps like I did when my dad gave me a company in 1973"
Renee H. 2 years ago
I know someone who practiced this ( my opinion ) horrible custom. He kicked each of his 5 kids out at the age of 18 to fend for themselves. I never thought much of him.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Why in hell have FIVE children if all you’re doing for 18 years is waiting for them become a legal adult so you can throw them out? He’s not just a terrible father, he’s an idiot.
Load More Replies...
Joan Dobson 2 years ago
Yes kids should but someone has to teach how first. Then make sure they got all the lessons down pat and have a safe place to go before encouraging them to go.
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
I've heard these stories. Sometimes the oldest child helps out the siblings.
#10
Great candidates for a nursing home in their later years.
mSpencer 2 years ago
If they kick the child out, they have no one to arrange for the nursing home. They end up dead on the floor for 2 weeks found by a welfare check
Darmon Hackmiester 2 years ago
You are not guaranteed to be cared for by your adult children. I’ve worked in nursing homes.
Load More Replies...
PandaRave 2 years ago (edited)
Sweet, this one failed their 5th health inspection in a row and has a suspected Angel of Death! In you go, Grandma Karen!
Jessany Trotter 2 years ago
Be nice to your kids: they might need to choose your nursing home and may have control of your wheelchair
JP Purves 2 years ago
This is used as a "ha ha, gotcha" type of thing, but the reality is that costs of nursing home living is expensive. Even a low end home costs about $7,000 per month, so if the "bad" parent has lots of retirement savings it's probably okay. What if the parent has no money, is the child willing to spend this amount to punish the parent? Very doubtful.
#11
They are terrible parents who will likely end up in a state-run nursing home.
If you have a child your goal is to make sure your child has every tool to succeed in life before they go out on their own regardless if that is 18, 23, 25+
My plan is once my child hits 18 i will ask them to pay me a small "rent" amount (like 20% of a normal 1bed apartment rent) monthly but I will be putting it all into a separate bank account and once they decide it's time to move out I'll give all of it back to them as a gift. They will always have a place to stay with me if things get tough as well.
Kevin Sutton 2 years ago
That's a brilliant idea, I like that one. Will discuss doing that for my boys with my wife
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
My friend's mum did it as well but it was more than 20%. At the end my friend had so much money for deposit that she barely even needed to take a loan for buying her own apartment.
Load More Replies...
Sami-Jo Ross 2 years ago
Honestly that's the most wholesome thing ever. Teaches them about rent in a safe, risk free way, kind of like training wheels for a budget, and it helps them set aside money for once they're finally ready to go. Who knows, maybe they'll use that method as a lesson to set money aside for a nest egg.
Brenda 2 years ago
My choice was once I turned 18 (6mo after graduation) I had to either go to school and pay no rent or find a full-time job and pay rent. I eventually got a job & paid my parents $150 a month. When I moved out almost 2 years later, they took what I had paid and helped me buy used furniture, household items and stocked my kitchen. Made it much easier for me.
JanaK 1 year ago
It's funny how everyone talk about nursinf homes as a punishment, but at the same time people say "You don't owe your parents anything". Then - the person get married and it;s "Now your spouse and kids are your family, not your parents". So, no matter how good or bad was a parent, they would most likely end up alone... Bc you owe them nothing and you have your own family.
I'mtiredboss. 2 years ago
I continued to lived with my single mom after high school for several years. Once I got a job I started giving her money to help with living expenses. She didn't ask for it and at some point I realized she was putting it into an account to give it back to me for when I was ready to go out on my own. When I decided it was time to buy a new car, she handed me the passbook and I had given her enough for me to buy a car. It was only 2 years and it was only $2k, but my 1972 Gremlin only cost $1999.00.
Ven Nigell 2 years ago
Every human being have been a teen, but it seems like 99% forget how it is at around 30ish. Paying to your parent feels like you're totally not welcome here, you're an asset, not a family. You want to teach your kids about costs of living, you make them pay e.g. one of the utility bill which amounts to the same sum you have in mind, but not make them pay to you personally. It feels degrading.
By meeting these expectations, the teenager increases the likelihood of receiving reciprocal treatment. The contract underscores the importance of actions over empty promises, creating a foundation for accountability and a balanced relationship - values that hold great importance as young adults navigate their path in the vast and complex world.
"The preparation for adulthood I propose is parents holding young people in their care accountable to some variation of the 'freedom contract' as they grow through adolescence," a child's most impactful years, Pickhardt suggested.
#12
My bf got kicked out at 18 and his parents literally said to his face "Since you were an accident and we didn't mean to have you, we need you out of the house now so we can actually relax like we used to before you were born."
Anyway, I think extremely badly of them.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
"Anyway, I think extremely badly of them." Gee, I can't imagine why...
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Now this is what one calls an understatement!
Load More Replies...
Raabh Aquino 2 years ago (edited)
My goodness, the a**h0lery with these parents are strong. Me and my 2 siblings were also "accidents" but our mom worked her behind off to provide for us and she loves us something fierce. Did she make mistakes? Yes. But her qualities as a parent are much bigger than her faults.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
Exactly, it stops being a mistake when you choose not to get an abortion or give up for adoption.
Load More Replies... Cari Owens 2 years ago
And how much you bet that if the parents run into financial or other trouble, they'll be on his doorstep asking for a handout? They'd deserve to have the door slammed in their faces with the parting shot "You said you never wanted me so what makes you think you can ask me for help?"
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
I am gobsmacked. Why didn’t they give the boy up for adoption? Everyone’s life would have been better. Especially his.
Dawnieangel76 2 years ago
Christ....if someone in my family did that to their kids they'd be dead to me. The parents, not the kid. If I had the ability, the kid would come live with me.
Jessany Trotter 2 years ago
Ah jeez. Poor boy. Sorry this happened to him. I’m sure he’s loveable for other people that deserve him more
#13
Welp...
I was kicked out at 16 and again at 18.
My mother had no ambitions for work and decided the low to zero income way of life was a good choice to raise three kids. (Addictions and mental disorders ofc).
Anyhow, she demanded 500 dollars per month from me, while I was in highschool. At the time, a full time job at minimum wage would net you about 300 bi weekly.
Needless to say I first had to drop out of school to woro full time to pay her that.
Eventually I got back into school, cut back on (and quit) jobs until I was part time and could actually attend school.
This cause money to stop coming in.
This caused her to be angry.
This caused me to become homeless.
So now when she asks for help, or simply wants to talk to me, and I dont reply... Well, there you go.
(There were many other things involved, but if you are a d**k to your kids, they will be a d**k to you when they are adults. Rightfully so.)
(Yes, I am now a parent, and no, under no circumstances would I do what she did).
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
I am absolutely confounded by people who have children, treat them like this, give them no love or support, then wonder why they have no relationship with their adult children. When you treat a child like this, or “discipline” them with violence, all you are teaching them is to hate you. Stop having children you don’t love, idiots.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
I am pretty sure your mother will die a miserable lonely death, and in this instance, she will deserve it. Please continue to ignore her pleas until she eventually expires cold and alone. SMH!!!
Maria Mandjik 2 years ago
Your mother has mental issues, I would like if people would check if they should have children or not.
Julia French 2 years ago
mental health care in the USA is the worst part of a very bad sysyem. Although there are some very good psyciatrists a fair numbers of docs end up in that speciality because their first choice of residency/speciality training turned them down.
AMaureen Dance 2 years ago
Sometimes I wonder if I'm a good mother. Then I read some of these stories, and I realize, my daughter still talks to me, and not ony when she needs something. We traveled to another city together to see Clay Aiken.
#14
Guy in my graduating class had that happen to him. He came back from Project Graduation the next morning and his father had put all his stuff on the front lawn. First day out of High School and kicked out of the house, not 12 hours after receiving your diploma. Bobby went on to college, got his degree, and got married to his HS sweetheart, and moved into a large house in the biggest city in our state, and works high up in one of the hospitals downtown Louisville KY. When his Mother passed away, she left a good chunk of money to Bobby and his brother, whom daddy did the same way 4 years later. Father got cancer 6 months after his wife passed, ended up in the hospital, and Bobby and his brother let their father lose his house to the bank. Bobby bought it on the courthouse steps, bulldozed it, and split the new property in half, giving it to the neighbors on both sides of the now empty lot, who let Bobby and later his brother live in their basements for a time while they each figured out what to do. Daddy stayed in the hospital and when released, had to go to a half-way house sponsored by the VA, because neither Bobby or his brother would let him move in, and he had no siblings to speak of. I know this because my Mom graduted with Bobby's dad, and for some reason thought I should know the details of their lives....
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Karma does work. This is a case of karma coming back on Dad in a big way. And he deserved it. The idea that Bobby “owed” his father something simply because he was conceived by his sperm is nonsense.
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
Holding boundaries is easy when you have a righteous fire in your belly.
#15
Brother was out before 18 and I was out at 18, and my dad didn't even have a funeral.
Should tell you about all you need to know about parents who kick their kids out asap.
BatPhace 2 years ago
Truly depends on the state and\or country, but parents can just say you ran away, and if it's your word against theirs with no proof then the law sides with the parents most of the time
Load More Replies...
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
When a person like that dies, you want to make sure they're dead. The state will throw um in an unmarked, paupers grave.
Steve Robert 2 years ago
I always had a place to go, home, even after I graduated from uni. And when I temporarily moved back during my divorce, I think they enjoyed having me back even more than I did!
#16
I cut all ties after they kicked me out. They both died young. My life was rough for a while but it all turned out okay. And now I’m the adult, and my oldest is 20. He’s still at home rent-free while he pursues his career and education. I’ll do the same for the other four. We bought a new house when my oldest was 19 and we specifically made sure he had a room where he could feel comfortable to stay here and have his own space.
#17
They're fools, selfishly setting up their children for a life of unnecessary hardship and struggle.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Considering how this "great" country treats the homeless like vermin, these heartless ogres prove that they do not love their own children.
gotham-panda 2 years ago (edited)
NYC is one of the cities in this country where homeless youth of many other states end up. And they usually end up trafficked, addicted, in a gang, dead, or all of the above. Very very few have the fortitude or emotional strength to survive all those pitfalls. They come here because they think they'll find opportunity. Usually all they find is misery. Parents who throw out their children are *evil*.
#18
Wasn't even a discussion, somehow I turned 18 and was given a plane ticket voucher and nothing else. Not a cent, no advice on how to adult, no real direction. So I couch surfed instead until I found work. Then moved away.
My 18-25 was nothing but a struggle. I genuinely can't remember any point during that time where I felt like I had a handle on life whatsoever.
And now I just don't talk to them anymore, it's been years. I've had family come to me with the "they're your parents they did the best they could" b******t.
It just sucks, knowing that your parents don't love you.
BannedFromABoatShow 2 years ago
If that’s the best they could do they have no right to knowing you. Good for you for surviving that.
Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
This is so sad. That is the definition of terrible, horrible parents. It is literally your job as a parent to prepare your children for life outside your house; in other words, teach them how to adult. Get a job, save money, open a bank account, pay bills, develop a credit score, wash clothes, cook food, etc., etc., etc. If you have not done these things, you have failed at the most basic parenting job. I hope this OP is now living a comfortable, happy life, and he continues to tell his parents to f*ck off. You reap what you sow.
Ricardo Ferreira 2 years ago
Worse thing is, maybe they did "their best". Problem is "their best" is miserable low.
Janine Randall 2 years ago
They sure didn't act like "parents". Kicking your kids out, when you know of the evil in the world, is evil itself.
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
Just tell those saying "your parents did the best they could" this: Obviously you would know, because that would be your "best" as well. Please get out of my face and take your BS with you!!! SMH!!!
#19
“You’re 18, you’re on your own. Don’t ask us for anything , because we don’t owe you any more support“ … 20+ years later… “I know we made it clear that we won’t do anything to help you, but now that you’re successful and have something that WE want (grandchild), we’re willing to amend that agreement so that family is super important to us. It’s so lonely after we drove everyone away!
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
"Dear Mom & Dad: Go f--- yourselves. We won't harm our kids by exposing them to their evil grandparents."
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
Response: You want grandkids? Yeah, you're on your own as my kids will NOT be calling you grandparents ever! I entered no agreement with you sorry miscreants as I had no say then and was pretty much forced, but now I am forcing you to live with the consequences of your actions and I DON'T owe you any of this "family" c**p. Enjoy your lonely life and eventual lonely demise and DON'T ever contact me again. SMH!!!
#20
Was one of those kids, haven't spoken to my "parents" in over 10 years.
Have no intention on speaking to them any time in the future either.
LocalLizard(He/They/Xe) 2 years ago
My parents didn't really "kick me" out, but they made it explicitly clear they didn't want me there. Moved in with my older brothers, haven't spoken to my mom in 3 years and talk to my dad maybe once a month(18 at the time)
Junebugjump! 2 years ago
Don't let anyone b******t you about forgiveness. Forgive, don't forgive... but always do best for yourself. Best way to pay it forward.
#21
It’s terrible! My fiancé’s birthday is the 26th of December - a day after Christmas. On his 18th birthday he was told by his father he was now an adult and had to go. No warning or anything. He had to move into his car that same week. And yet, 25 years later, his father has the audacity to continuously ask us for money to pay his bills.
Katie Lutesinger 2 years ago
Hell no! Laugh in his face and tell him how you're looking into all the worst nursing homes in town.
Load More Replies... Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
Why are you still in touch with his father? Cut that a**hole off completely.
Mikki Clay 2 years ago
It is my sincere hope that you both agree to continuously tell him absolutely no❤️
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
Tell "Daddy Dearest" he HAS to go find HIS own money like his son HAD to go back then! SMH!!!
#22
That they have made a very poor choice and are damaging their relationship with that child, as well as potentially damaging that child's mental health. It's traumatic for the young person. As a therapist, I haven't ever come across this happening as a parenting issue in isolation. What I mean by that is that the same parents who kick their kids out at 18 are usually neglectful before they turn 18.
#23
I feel this is especially cruel post 2005.
Back in the 90’s it was probably way easier to survive.
I’m from LA and a guy I met once said that in the 70’s you could actually live on your own with a job at McDonald’s.
Christine C 2 years ago
Very true. I turned 18 in 1988 and it was a source of pride to be able to support oneself at that age…something aspired to. But economic conditions were very different than today. I can’t see how that’s realistic anymore.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Federal minimum wage hasn't risen in 14 years. But try to get it increased, and a platoon of brainless nincompoops howl about $20 tacos and robotized restaurants.
Load More Replies... whatever 2 years ago
Back in the late 90's my wife and I bought our first house together while we were both still waiting tables for a living. We just recently sold it for 3-times what we originally paid and what the mortgage payment is now for that place would have been impossible for us to afford that nowadays on 2 server incomes. I feel really sorry for first-time homebuyers now.
David MacLuna 2 years ago
I was 20 in 1985 - had a studio apartment near 'the' Ohio State University, which I attended - tuition was about 80% covered by scholarships & grants. I spent nights playing in a local band (which was a consistent expense) and also had car payments. I worked part-time and, while it was paycheck-to-paycheck, I could (and did) live on it. Twenty years later, I retired from wandering around the country, drinking & making noise, and bought a house in the same area - an abandoned home for $3000. Some places need some TLC to get livable; this place needed more of an ICU. But the point is that neither of those situations would be possible today. *Everything* has been monetized since I was a kid, and we're now at the point of full capitalist saturation - can't squeeze more out the economy without breaking it. So it's breaking.
Fanstacia D 1 year ago
Yup. My mother didn’t technically kick me out, but my step-father was abusive and getting creepy with me so at 18 she paid my first month’s rent and deposit, and helped me move out. I was able to stay in school because of student welfare and part-time work. My apartment was $325 inclusive/month $100 for a months worth of healthy groceries.. This was in 1990. Strong social safety net, affordable housing and indexed inflation. Boomers killed it all.
#24
I can’t imagine having to deal with that. My Dad lost a place to live at his parents’ house for the summer his last year of college and luckily my Mom’s parents let him stay in their basement. From what my parents told me my Dad was devastated by this.
My parents’ rule was we would have a place to stay without paying rent as long as we were in school or after we graduated while we were getting our first job. I really appreciated their support and not needing to worry about housing during the summers while I was in college. Will be doing the same with my 3 kids.
Kathryn Baylis 2 years ago (edited)
That's the whole point of parenting, to not kick your chicks out of the nest before they're able to fly really well on their own. To let your kids launch on their own when they're able to do so successfully. PLUS, should they endure any hardships (layoffs, long-term illness, injuries that prevent then from working, substantial loss of household income through divorce or death of a spouse, etc), if you as parents are able to accommodate them, let them come back home, at least until they're back on their feet. You're supposed to love your children, and want the best for them. Part of loving them is making sure they're able to live decently before they go out on their own.
Sea cucumber (They/them) 2 years ago
That's what my parents did for me, either go to school and live with them rent free, or pay rent. I ended up going to school afterwards and moved out the August after I was done, my sister started working right after and paid $300(?) a month. If I ever have kids, I'd so the same. Seen some comments on here about parents who save some or all that money and give their kids that money back once they move out. Will probably do the same, but won't know for sure unless I actually do have kids.
#25
They should have bought a dog of they want the thing gone by 18.
BEATRICE SIEGEL 2 years ago
I agree with this, but now the thought of a dog being in the care of people like that makes me sad.
Jessany Trotter 2 years ago
Ouch. Dogs deserve better than this and to live longer than what they already do.
#26
Dad didn't want to have kids. Once we were 7 or 8 years old, my mother pretended to still like us but she didn't seem to (had more independent personalities). I believe that many past generations had children more out of obligation than out of a genuine desire to be parents for the rest of their lives.
Ricardo Ferreira 2 years ago
Don't forget ban to abortions and not enough technology for prevention (condons, DIUs etc)
Julia French 2 years ago
"past generations"... before the late 1960s birth control was so bad "choice" wasn't an opption for many couples.
gotham-panda 2 years ago (edited)
Semi-true. The "choice" was to remain a "spinster" or lifelong bachelor. No marriage, presumably no children. And if you were a woman and did get pregnant, you went away "on vacation", and then came home sans baby, and no one ever knew.
Load More Replies...
#27
They’re setting up their kids for failure. Harsh, but true. I’m no kids by choice but if I ever were to have a kid, I’d do my best to provide the best for them. What that means in this situation (I live in a HCOL PNW city) is that I’d make it known to my kid that they’re more than welcome to stay at home while going to college & working so they can save up $ instead of paying off someone else’s mortgage via rent. Rent for an old one bedroom in my city goes for $2000-2200; best to stay home and save up equity.
EDIT: It also speaks to the type of parent these people are. Parenting doesn’t suddenly stop at 18. This is also a particularly Canadian/American thing, whereas immigrant and/or first-generational families typically have multigenerational households.
Ronna Black 2 years ago
Not sure about the Canadian comment. I lived at home until I was 23, moving out with a friend who had just graduated Uni. Both sets of parents assisted financially when needed, thankfully was not often. None of my friends or family were ever kicked out after high school. Some paid rent to their parents, some didn’t. My Dad lived with his parents until he married at 25 and he and my mom moved into my grandparent’s basement apartment. Maybe all the people I knew were just raised by caring families, but I don’t know that kicking kids to the curb at 18 is a North American thing.
Deborah Rubin 2 years ago
My parents lived with their parents until they were married, I believe in their 20s. Not a purely American/Canadian thing, I think it's more a parent thing.
RosenCranzLives 2 years ago
It's an Anglo-Saxon North American concept - which is, yes, sort of Canadian/American. The 'Independence' concept. When I was 18 I joined the military, as did hundreds of other 18-19 year olds. Struggled for years to survive after that. Got married, lived a decade and a half like that. Instead, when everything fell apart, I moved to Mexico. Lived in multi-generational homes. Learned that 'independence' was a luxury that paid no dividends. Changed my life.
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago (edited)
I'm American, and I don't know anyone who was kicked out at 18. I think it mostly happened to early generations here. We (millennials and onward) often live in multigenerational households now. Not only because it's often more cost efficient in this sucky economy with a corporatocracy of a healthcare system, but also so we have each other's backs. I stick around to take care of my parents especially. I don't ever wanna put them in nursing homes. And after they took care if me all through my childhood as good, loving parents, I would never abandon them to fend for themselves in their time of need.
Hakitosama 2 years ago
I'm 34, aroace and still living with my dad. Why?... Why not? I don't have a SO anywhere in sight and in my future (and I'm happy with that), don't want any kids so why would I for go the financial comfort living under the same roof provides us both? InDePenDeNcE? Dudes I have a well paying job, my own car and all! What is not independent in that?
The one who knocks 2 years ago
It really is just America, total hell hole, I want to go back to living in England.
#28
I went to school with some people like that. Immediately kicked out at 18. How can they expect to continue their education when the now have to immediately start making enough for food and shelter. Inevitably, most got married and divorced or at least pregnant young too.
Now 20 years later the ones I’m friends with on Facebook are continuing the vicious cycle by kicking their kids out at 18.
Come on bro, give them a chance. And you complain your family doesn’t have generational wealth. This is why.
Xenia Harley 2 years ago
Having worked in a community college, it screws the kids up for financial aid, too, if parents are uncooperative. You have to be 22, I think, until you can use your own income as a guide. I cannot tell you how many kids tried to go to college, but had no way to get basic info from parents' income tax forms for FAFSA forms. Parents can be cruel and awful.
Kare Deter 2 years ago
Not that the parents aren't awful, but fault also lies in the paperwork requirements for financial aid. No allowances are made for circumstances that are outside the norm.
Load More Replies...
#29
I think they're bad parents. They clearly don't understand what the world is like for recent high school grads, they're selfish and want their home back and don't want to keep feeding and housing their kid, and/or they didn't raise a self-sufficient child ready to try fending for themselves.
Steve Robert 2 years ago
My parents loved it when I'd spend summers at home during college, while saving up money for the school year.
#30
I used to think they were all horrible, no exceptions until I married a guy that was kicked out by his parents. After living with him for 15 years, it made me question how they lived with him for 18.
gotham-panda 2 years ago
This. He was a product of *that sort* of parent. While he is responsible for his actions and who he is *now*, he had no choice when they were molding and raising him in their dysfunctional paradigm. This sort of BS is generational, often enough.
Load More Replies... Lisa Reuss 2 years ago
I think what OP went through with him was a direct result of what his parents did to him. Those parents had him for 18 years, and at some point they just stopped parenting him because they knew they were kicking him out when he was 18. They probably would have done it sooner if they could have. They taught him nothing, certainly not how to be married. He is not blameless, but all this issues came from somewhere.
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Childhood emotional and mental pain, affects your adult life in ways people never understand.
Julia H 2 years ago
Really hard to know why some guys are horrid. I was married to one nightmare for 18 months, until I was given an escape. By then, I realized I was nothing more than a punch dummy. Been with the current jerk for over 30 years. Until recently I didn't have finances, nor family to lean on. @Daniel G, people stay with abusers for a variety of reasons. My current challenge has never hit me. Instead, I never know when he'll have a mood swing, which turns him into a royal a*5. However, I've grown some big girl panties and I don't put up with the nasty remarks anymore
seana lammers 2 years ago
Was the comment more directed to his behavior? ‘ After living with him for 15 years, it made me question how they lived with him for 18.’
H M 2 years ago
Parents are not responsible for their kids behaviour. Hitler, Stalin, Jeffry Dahlmer anyone? Some kids are bad.
Julia H 2 years ago
Dahmer was abandoned by his family while he was just a kid. He was left alone to do his best with no guidence. Hard to say how he'd have been with proper guidance. Interestingly, he turned his life around in prison...up until he was shanked. Some people are bad, some are products of upbringing. Umbrella statements don't always apply
Load More Replies... #31
My older brother was a complete narcissistic a*****e. He would hit me often and told me, if I told my parents, he would kill me. He was constantly causing problems with my parents. My Father told him that on his 18 birthday, he could have breakfast in the house, but his lunch was going to be on the front porch in a paper bag, so pack a suitcase. My Father was true to his word. One of the greatest days of my life.
tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
That is different from all these other ones. He was a d**k! And, his father told him before
#32
Dad kicked me out at 16, and I haven’t spoken to him in like two and a half years. My mom and I text once every other month at the most. And I moved across the country the day I turned 18 and never looked back. If you are a parent and you want a relationship with your kids, they need to know they are safe with you and that they have a place in your home. Kicking them out won't teach them that.
#33
Why have kids if you're just going to be done with them after a certain point? Like, I understand some people need a harsh nudge, and that they will have to learn at somepoint to live without you, but isn't it a better testament to your parenting for your children to be able to leave on their own accord and flourish, without you having to kick them out? If you're just waiting, counting down the years, until it's _legally_ allowed to no longer care for someone, then why do it at all? Why have kids in the first place? It really is no wonder why most elderly get carted off to the nearest nursing home, when most of them did this to their kids.
Freya the Wanderer 2 years ago
Parenting doesn't end when the kid turns 18 - or any other arbitrary number.
#34
This thread is giving me closure. Thought I was a d**khead for feeling the way I do. Had to pay half my salary after I turned 18 to my parents to rent the room I lived in for free until then. Still treated like a child though and still do all my chores. The amount was equivalent to renting my own small apartment, but idiot me did not realise at the time. When I left that job, because I had ambition for something more, I got kicked out at age 20 with his exact words: “I don’t know what to do with you. Go.” Left for the city and mostly didn’t have a place to sleep, no food, nothing. Fortunately I could crash at my girlfriends place (now wife). Put myself through uni part time and now an accountant. I have basically no contact with my family anymore.
#35
I was out at 18. Didn’t feel parents didn’t want me it was just their culture and that expectation was always set for me. Didn’t go to college since they wouldn’t have anything to do with the required info for student loans (since I was on my own). In case you didn’t know Federal loans require disclosure of parents income until you are 25 years old. Well it made me tough and independent. I’m successful now but I will be more gracious to my child. As to how I feel about my parents, well after my dad died my mom couldn’t handle life alone so she asked if she could live with me. I slept on it and told her yes she could live out her days with me. Weeks later she was diagnosed with cancer and died within 3 months. She never did live with me but I had decided to be gracious to her.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
Good for you for deciding to be gracious to her. It shows that you have a good heart and you don't seek revenge.
#36
I graduated fifth in my class academically, placed in states in sports my junior and senior year, and held a part-time job on weekends. Sometimes I’d get home at midnight after a tournament and then work my job at 5 AM the next day. I was kicked out less than two weeks after turning 18, started college two months later after couch surfing, and now my parents and I rarely talk. They still can’t figure out why they don’t see their grandkids often. I mean, not being conceited, but what the f**k else was I suppose to be doing not to get kicked out?
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago
You are already being gracious enough letting them see their grandkids one in a while. At the very least, they don't even deserve to know that they are grandparents. SMH!!!
#37
Anyone who kicks their kid out for reasons related to age(to a point), gender, or sexuality, doesn't deserve to hear from their kid ever again. With the exception of if that kid is 35 and the parent is going "Honey I love you but you need to find your own place to live." If the kid got kicked out because they're a criminal, are violent or abusive, or are doing hard drugs / have an alcohol addiction that they don't want to correct... Well, sometimes you have to prioritize your own safety.
BatPhace 2 years ago
But kicking them out should still be a last resort, after attempting to get them help. If they don't want help and are destructive (mentally or physically) then yes, by all means, have the police escort them out. But as a parent I would still do everything in my power to help first
#38
It's a 'depends on the circumstances' answer. If the kid is a violent psychopath, or utterly unwilling to follow the reasonable houserules, is disruptive and generally a total arsehole, then that may well be reasonable. If it's 'you're 18, there's the door' that isn't.
#39
I'd say it depends on where you're from. In Norway your parents dont kick you out when you turn 18, but you're for sure expected to move out after highschool. And with that said I don't know a single norwegian person my age (now early 30s) that wasn't excited at the prospect of moving away and starting uni or whatever they were doing. It does tend to come with the expectation that your home will always be there if you need it though. Honestly a norwegian person above age 23 that still lived at home would face some serious judgement from peers. Its seen as being codependent, immature and lazy. (Unless its for a short period of time while you sort stuff out)
Dav Carro-Ripalda 2 years ago
I agree with the cultural matter. In Spain is more or less the same as in Italy: if your 32 year old kiddo wants to leave the nest, he is allowed to do so by mom, but tears will be shed.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
What if you go to university that requires 100% attendance through the entire day (like mine was); how can you get a job and earn livable wage with only couple of hours per day?
Xenia Harley 2 years ago
My son went to college then worked at a summer camp, he pretty much never lived home after he graduated HS but he was NEVER kicked out, and knew he had a place if he so chose! So he did leave at 18, but certainly his choice.
Eva Kašu 2 years ago
We envy you Norway, that 20 yo have enough money to live independently of parents, now back to reality...
MiriPanda 2 years ago
They talk about moving out of their parents home, not being financially completely on their own. In Germany parents are financially responsible for their kids until 26, provided they are still in education. But it would be weird if still living at home at that age. We usually live in shared flats or college dorms, financially supported by parents or, for low income households, by the state.
Load More Replies... #40
Generally speaking I'd say those parents don't understand the reality of the current economic landscape and that unless they made a herculean effort, they probably didn't set their kid up properly to do well. Not to mention that during most of history and in the vast majority of cultures, leaving home at 18 just was not a thing. You generally stayed at home until you married, whatever age that may be, and even after you might still live with your parents or even if you have your own home you'd be very closely connected, often still working the same land together etc.
The idea that people are supposed to move out at 18 and make it on their own (when theyre still 4-6 year from full mental development btw) is by far the exception rather than the rule historically.
#41
I was raised by a single father. He wasn’t the best. He always told me “I’m kicking your a*s out of the house for your 18th birthday”. He said it my whole life. Out of spite, I told myself I would start planning for college and a job and an apartment and work toward it all through high school so it wouldn’t catch me off guard. Imagine my displeasure when he went to prison at the beginning of my freshman year and I had to figure all that s**t out 3 years earlier than I’d expected. Imagine further that you didn’t find out until you were 18 that he opened multiple accounts (phone numbers, electricity accounts, water, etc) and never paid them off or told anybody after he went to prison and just expected it all to work itself out somehow. It didn’t. It f****d me out of student loans with reasonable interest rates. It f****d me out of getting a cell phone until I was 22. My credit is still dogs**t. F**k you, dad.
#42
It depends on the kid. We kicked out our daughter because she became violent and attacked my wife. Our son is welcome to stay until he is ready to leave.
Sunshine Lady 2 years ago
I still think it would be better to seek help for your daughter and resolve the violence issue, than just kick her out and make the inner problem bigger
N Miller 2 years ago
It might be that they tried and the system let them down. One slap to mum and out on the street is a stupidly extreme reaction. Years of escalating and getting no support, at some point they have to prioritise the safety of everyone else in the home. I suspect the reality is somewhere in the middle (and possibly gender related?)
Load More Replies... #43
My parents hate me. Literally can’t stand the sight of me. But they still let me live at their place. If your parents kick you out in 2023 they should be arrested. It’s no minimum wage job that will cover rent out here anymore. Your doomed to struggle and live check to check if you do move out and don’t make $20hr at least.
tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
I'm so sorry that your parents hate you. But am glad they are letting you still live with them.
#44
If they say they are doing it for their own good, then they're clueless as to what it looks like out there for most people these days... Rent is crazy, pay isn't enough for most menial entry-level jobs... Instead, I'd say if they want to teach a young adult to adult, give realistic chores, make them pay a little bit of rent (but still allow them to save), help them budget, teach them to discount grocery shop, help them meal plan, etc etc...
#45
My mum kicked me out at 16, When I got advice to go on a independent youth benefit, they had to contact my mum to basically say she didn't want me. She turned round and said that I can come back whenever I want. So I was denied financial support. Then I found out she had moved to another Island. I don't talk to her much.
#46
My mom did it to me, and I'm thankful she did. 2 weeks after my 18th I was a highschool dropout with no job or future plans. Woke up one morning to her yelling at me to get out. Kinda the kick in the a*s I needed. Lived in my car for a month and now almost 10 years later I got my GED, have a good job, a house, and a family.
#47
I still find it hard to understand why they kick them out at 18. They're barely out of school and most of them are not even prepared for the world. Do they magically mature and gain every skill needed to survive at 18? The animosity towards their own kids is just so appalling.
#48
They are c***s. I had to move out at 18 or I could live there until my Mormon mission started shortly after. I ended up working two jobs while in high school so I’d have money to move out. My parents thought I was saving for my mission. I ended up not finishing high school and I signed a lease that started the day after my birthday. They dropped me off at my new place and complained about what a hassle it was for them to drive 25 minutes to my new place.
#49
I was one. It was different times, 2007 I think, I was born 1989 so you can do the math on when I was 18. I knew I would be out, it was made clear to us from a young age we had a home until we were 18. Coming up to my 18th birthday they'd start asking where I was going. I worked at a supermarket for a few years prior and saved like mad. I couldn't get a rental house because I had no rental history but they were giving the first home buying awake at around 15k and you were allowed to use it as you deposit. I went into a broker and found if I left school and went full time at the supermarket I could get approved for 215k. So I did, because I had to. i brought a house in a s****y area and got stuck working at the supermarket for over 10 years. Inevitably I became a single mother in that time. I found out about rates and water the hard way. The first few years I lived without furniture or food. I am bitter I didn't get to go to uni. I am trapped in low paying jobs and I've managed to get out of the horrible home and s****y area through marriage. I was doing all of my pre tertiary subjects at college and was on my way to be the first person in the family to go to college in any generation. It's not a position I'd put my kids through, I want the best for them. As the last child of 5 I don't think my parents wanted me much. My mum still tells me shed never have 5 kids if she could have a do over.
Skip62 2 years ago
My dad knew a family that made their kids leave when they graduated high school, but they made it clear it was coming so it wasn't a shock. I don't know if it's good or bad. My dad felt it was a lot easier for the boys than the girls. It was the70s. So much was different then.
#50
My parents were divorced for at least a decade before I turned 18. But my dad was still trying to force my mom to kick me out at 18 with no place to live. This was interesting considering my dad's mom bought him a house to live in after he turned 18. I swear the guy wanted to make my life as miserable as he could even though his parents spoiled him. He still rubs in my face how much my grandparents gave him while refusing to give me a penny AND expecting me to feel sorry for him. Have to love narcissistic alcoholics and the never ending mindset of a selfish 16 year old in a boomers body.
#51
One parent wouldn't let me live with them and i rarely saw him. The other made me pay rent (200) and my car insurance, but refused to let me go until I'm ready alongside her "husband" (boyfriend and the one who really truly raised me and is my father) guess who is currently no contact and has nothing in common with his son and who is currently living with me because shes disabled? Sure as hell ain't the sperm donor. Unfortunately my mom and her boyfriend parted on good terms, but I see him twice a month. So i think ill emulate my mom and my stepfather.
#52
It's lazy, no effort parenting employed by sociopaths. The least they can do is help their children transition to moving out on their own, teach them basic adulthood skills, enroll in college, find a job, etc. Your job as a parent doesn't magically end because of some societally imposed metric of age. Parents like that shouldn't be surprised when their children want nothing to do with them in the future or refuse to help them later in life. Obviously, there needs to be some proactive efforts on the child's part to make that transition, but this 'sink or swim' bootstrap mentality is a product of boomers who think life is as affordable as it was to them and their parents; inherited generational trauma. That's not to say life was easier, but the cost of living is not even remotely comparable to what it was several generations ago, and that's before even getting into things like buying property, costs of higher education, less government kickbacks, etc, etc.
Deborah Rubin 2 years ago
NOT A PRODUCT OF BOOMERS!! Where this notion came from is beyond me. Boomers did not have everything handed to them on a silver platter. Look at what was happening in the world from 1946-1964. There isn't a name for the generation before that, which is where my parents would be. Life did not start out "affordable". "inherited generational trauma." What does that even mean? Oh, and it should be "fewer government kickbacks." not "less." And I don't think 'kickbacks" is quite the right word. Please google it.
#53
I don't see many posts answering this correctly. The question has zero context. Acts like this cannot be judged unless you have the whole story surrounding why the decision was made. There are both good and bad reasons for kicking out a kid at 18. I married into kids when they were very young. When they entered their teens my wife and I explained to them that when they finished high school, as long as they were doing something that would lead to being self-sufficient then I would do whatever I could to help and they could stay at home. I didn't even care what it was. They could go to university or a trade school, or become an apprentice to learn a trade like plumbing or electrical. They could even try to start a business. Didn't matter, didn't care, as long as it was something with a reasonable chance of success and didn't involve criminal activity. I told them that there was no way in hell I was going to support them while they played and goofed off. There's no way in hell I'm supporting a kid that just wants to play video games and smoke weed all day. We have a couple of distant family members who had parents that did this, and they're in their 40s and still living at home being complete losers. After high school, 2 of them decided they were going to spend all their time being in a band and were going to be mega successful and rich. I have some experience in the music industry and explained to them why that was not a path to self-sufficiency, that it some something that should be started as a hobby while you work towards being self-sufficient and then later if it happens to take off then great. I took them to meet some friends I had in bands and we talked about why there is such a thing as a college band, because being in a band has an extremely low chance of leading to self-sufficiency. It's something best done on the side. They decided to do it anyway so they left home. I didn't completely abandon them though. I went to their shows and bought their merch, but they were on their own. Things got pretty rough for them too. A number of years later I got a call and they said they wanted to come back home. Thee band thing didn't work out and they had a new plan. We talked about their new plan and it was pretty solid so I told them to come home. Shortly after, the other one did the same. They worked their asses off on their new plan and it only took about a year before they were making enough money to support themselves. They weren't rich by any means, but they could afford the basics. They're all fully grown adults now and are doing fairly well, and I have zero regrets about kicking them out after high school.
#54
American. Didn't move out until 32. It tore my dad up, he had nobody to watch baseball with, nobody to work on projects with, nobody to go fishing with on a regular basis, he still goes fishing with my mom though, but he says it is not the same. My mom was happy to see me go. Now I have a house, career and family of my own with a wife that is 7 years younger than me and a 5 year old. They never forced me out, just told me to keep working and pitch in with yard work and projects. They didn't need or even want money for anything. As far as people getting kicked out is just ridiculous. If they work, are not lazy and help with chores WHY kick them out? F*****g stupid.
#55
It's a foolish notion born of foolish "rugged American" ideology. Payment for shelter is one of the largest expenses worldwide. Wealth is built from disposable income, it's one of the things that makes cults, as horrible as they are socially, economically viable. From an efficiency standpoint it's a question of if it takes you 5 hours or 30 hours a week to pay for shelter. For the parent, if the children are productive, this results in more prosperity for both. Many Asian families, Jewish families, Italian families, they get this and it's a big underlying reason for multigenerational homes. Setting aside the scientifically proven implications of human connection (cures addiction, provides greater meaning of life, is key to tribal human nature dynamics) from a purely economic perspective you can save more time as a person if you share costs. Incidentally this is why "house shares" in America have become increasingly more common. One person may not be able to afford a house, but 5 people can and it's a no brainier to build equity instead of paying rent over the long term.
#56
I grew up with my mom constantly telling me that her retirement plan was for me to get rich and for her to move in with me. When I was well into adulthood and that was obviously not going to happen (and we were not getting along at all), I finally got it through her head that I was absolutely never going to be able to afford to support financially, and we'd kill each other if we lived together. Not long after that, she stopped talking to me. It was good to see that she only saw me as a potential pile of money and nothing else.
#60
In this economy? Wages vs cost of living has widened to the point that doing so is incompetent and shows their Boomer perspective thriving in ignorance.
Deborah Rubin 2 years ago
What is it with all the boomer bashing? Do you even know what a baby boomer is?? Surviving and improving their own lives while living through a depression and wars? Get the hell over it and start looking at everything that came later. There's a lot of time that needs to be accounted for.
Easily Excitable Panda 2 years ago (edited)
Boomers were born during the 'baby boom' after WWII - they didn't live during the Depression or the wars.
Load More Replies... #61
It's proof that either A. They raised terrible children. or B. They never wanted children in the first place, and just didn't have access to the tools to keep themselves childfree.
#63
I’m 32 and live with my parents. I’ve moved back home twice after moving out. Life hasn’t been easy for me, I was in an abusive relationship and the day it ended my mom said I could come back home. My family helped me pack up and get out of there. I wouldn’t be here still if it weren’t for my parents. I’m back in school, studying hard for a career that I know I’m going to succeed in. I can’t wait to repay my parents for everything they’ve done for me. I can’t imagine being kicked out at 18. It just seems unnecessarily cruel. It kind of gives the impression that those people never wanted their children, which is sad. I feel for those people.
#64
Once we were working full-time, if we were still at home, my Dad would charge a nominal rent to get us used to managing our money. He would just put it into an account and give it back upon moving out. Although if we did move back home, he'd no longer charge since we had experience and could save on our own.
#65
It’s messed up and says a lot about the parents… I’m 31 and still live at home. Not by choice, but because I struggled to find work through most of my 20s. Now that I have a job, I’m still saving up for a decent deposit for even renting. If my Mum threw me out at 18, I’d have been on the streets for sure.
#66
Those kids are disadvantaged and those parents are jerks. I will die before I stop supporting my family to the best of my ability.
#67
My parents kicked my sibling out at 17. Because they came out as transgender (they/them). I adopted them and took care of them for several years. None of us siblings spoke to our parents during this time. Eventually my grandmother died and we broke NC to get the news. My sibling decided to try to have a relationship with our mom again, it must be going well because they moved back home. I still don't speak to them however, as I took the brunt of the hate during the whole thing for "enabling" their transition. It is what it is.
#68
Back then, it was okay ish. Not smart but the kids could float. Nowadays with this economy. It is practically a death sentence.
#69
Usually, low education/low class, and low IQ parents do this. It's traumatic and most of the time the kids have already been on their own for a few years before.
#70
I can tell you this, my parents and I don't have a good relationship (mostly my dad and I) because of this. Always have been told growing up that I need to figure out how to move out at 18 (only direction given). This always made me feel unwanted in the home, that I wasn't there child, just a squatting mouth to feed.
#72
That was pretty much a standard accepted practice when I turned 18 in 1973. Was it right? My friends and I turned out well and successful but honestly, I don't know if that can work in today's world with the cost of living being so high.
#73
Depends on the kids honestly. I got 4 kids. 3 of them cool as hell. They could live with me forever. That 4 the one though… to be honest everyone was happy when she moved out. Just a miserable person to be around, it pains me to say, I wish it would have worked out differently, but she’s just an a*****e.
#74
I'd say it sort of depends on the reason. If their kid is getting into trouble with the law, drugs, etc, I don't blame them for not putting up with that. But if they just kick them out for a BS reason then it's rather selfish.
#75
Of the people I know who were kicked out at 18, most of those kids sucked and did things like stole from their family, did drugs in the home, or were cruel/disrespectful to their siblings and/or parents. In those cases I have no issue. For the rare ones where the kids did nothing wrong I think it's harsh.
#76
Parents who do that are completely selfish pieces of human garbage …unless they have no choice or the child themself is a piece of human garbage.
#77
I wonder how many parents realize their relationship with their kids is somewhat quid pro quo. It feels a bit sociopathic of me to say, but take care of your kids and invest in their futures and lives. Rewarding in itself, yes, but ultimately, one day, you're gonna be old and unable to wipe your own a**, and if your kid hates you, he's not going to do it. H**l, I love my parents, but I still am not looking forward to those times.
#78
Even if you are that ready to get rid of them, why aren’t you letting them know that you are kicking them out so they better prepare to get their stuff in order before then? Why wait until the day they turn 18 to surprise them so they have absolutely no plans to move out? At the very least, give them a good heads-up and let them know you are serious. That is the least you could do.
#79
Some parents think that once their kid turns 18 they need to move out. This concept seems cruel to me. If the kid wants to leave, that's no problem, but they shouldn't be forced because in today's society one generally need longer time to get ready to live independently.
#80
If you want your kids out at 18 then raise them to he self sufficient by 18. That means helping them understand everything required to do so. Supporting them and helping them to get the things they need and being their when they mess up. There's nothing wrong with this as a general want for your child. Theres something wrong by forcing it. My mother was told to get out at 18, but my grandfather helped her get a place, furniture and groceries for the first month and insisted she enter the jobs program in high school or go to college. He helped her plan to be out at 18, not kick her out.
#81
My parents are kicking me out at 16, if the parent has a decent reason then good for them but otherwise I think it's terrible.
Explore more of these tags
What do you think ?
Scott T Brynildsen 2 years ago
My father kicked me out on my eighteenth birthday because I'm gay. I was homeless for three and a half years but finally was able to get a job as a dishwasher. I worked hard, became a published author, lobbied on Congress when I was twenty, was a member of the three speakers bureaus, and I see my father twice a year because I want him to see who I've become in spite of his choices.
N Miller 2 years ago
My dad was not much older than 18 when he moved out. My grandparents had turned his bedroom into a den before tea time the same day. My dad's older sister moved to Venezuela for 8 years and they kept her room for her until she came home. They also refused to do any of the journeying to visit our family, necessitating my parents doing all the travelling with two small children (at the time). There are, as far as I now know, only two living members of my dad's side of the family left. We haven't spoken in years. I tell people I have two aunts and one cousin, all maternal. As far as we are concerned, my dad is an orphaned only child, and we are all happier for it.
Brainmas 2 years ago
Oof. I didn't go back to my dad's for the rest of my stuff until a week later, but all my things were already in the attic and the room was back to how it was when my stepsister lived there. She was much older and already married. It was weird, but definitely cemented the point.
Load More Replies... DDmaybeandor 2 years ago
Idc if I get downvoted but my child isn’t just living with me forever or getting a free ride. When he gets a job a percentage is going towards savings, first for a car and then for an apartment. If he won’t do it voluntarily then I’ll charge rent, but I’m saving it so he’s got a nest egg. People want to have independence and it’s a parent’s job to foster that. It’s not our job to make things too easy, we have to teach responsibility and then make them responsible. And if he falls on his face he can come home and start again if there’s any way possible.
James016 2 years ago
There is nothing wrong with that approach. You are teaching him about budgeting and that the bills have to be paid first. A lot of these are “You’re 18, f**k off”
Load More Replies...
Robin DJW 2 years ago
My brothers and I were out (by our own choices) by 19. And we loved and were loved by our parents. I know that today's world is radically different for young people. Kicking a child out at 18 just because they can is the ultimate horrific thing a parent can do. I sorrow for all of you.
Blondie23 2 years ago
In the 70's my grandparents pretty much kicked each one of their kids out when they turned 18. They made it impossible for them to be adults living at home. Then fast forward to the 90's and my parents told me I could live there as long as I needed because they knew life was hard when you are young. Now here we are in 2023 and my kids are telling me they are never moving out and I don't care. They can stay as long as they want. We need to get back to the mind set of a village sticking together. It makes life easier when we stick together!!!!
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
My parents basically told me when I turned 18 and we just moved to a new house: You are free to stay, if you pull your weight around here. Otherwise, you know where the door is (kinda put that way). I am partially ashamed to say that back then, I was pretty much just bumming around with no clear direction. Failed one college entry, worked for a bit, got my degree finally and started working and giving what I could in a span of about 5 years later. It took me about 2-3 more years to make a bigger contribution to the household and about 5 years later, I learnt from them that they had bought the house in me and my brother's name and had absolutely no plans to throw us on the streets whatsoever. They just needed the both of us to start bucking up and stop messing around. My brother and I still live with our parents in said house and they have always told us since that it's your house, but we all chip in as much as we can. No one is kicking anyone out unless they've committed bloody murder or
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
something. Overall, my brother and I are lucky. Our parents "threatened" us but meant well. No 18 and you're out BS. So one day, if I manage to mature up enough to the point of having kids, I hope I can do the same (I'd like to think I'm wise enough to most of the ways of the world but probably not prepared enough to bring in new life to it).
Load More Replies...
James016 2 years ago
My wife and I are hoping our son can live independently but there is every chance he may not be able to. We are teaching him at the moment to be independent around the house. He can make his own breakfast and sandwiches for the most part. He can put his bits in the dishwasher when he has finished with them. He is autistic, has partial global developmental delay and is so hypermobile even physical tasks that are no problem for most, he struggles with as his fingers just bend backwards. We are working on that as well.
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
I remember back when my nephew was growing up, as he got closer to turning 18, my sister-in-law would tell anyone and everyone how as soon as he turned 18 he was moving out. Every chance she got. Fast forward to now and my 20 year old nephew is still at home, paying her bills. My niece who is two years younger turned out to be the one who got kicked out and she was 16 when it happened. So toxic.
Scott T Brynildsen 2 years ago
My father kicked me out on my eighteenth birthday because I'm gay. I was homeless for three and a half years but finally was able to get a job as a dishwasher. I worked hard, became a published author, lobbied on Congress when I was twenty, was a member of the three speakers bureaus, and I see my father twice a year because I want him to see who I've become in spite of his choices.
N Miller 2 years ago
My dad was not much older than 18 when he moved out. My grandparents had turned his bedroom into a den before tea time the same day. My dad's older sister moved to Venezuela for 8 years and they kept her room for her until she came home. They also refused to do any of the journeying to visit our family, necessitating my parents doing all the travelling with two small children (at the time). There are, as far as I now know, only two living members of my dad's side of the family left. We haven't spoken in years. I tell people I have two aunts and one cousin, all maternal. As far as we are concerned, my dad is an orphaned only child, and we are all happier for it.
Brainmas 2 years ago
Oof. I didn't go back to my dad's for the rest of my stuff until a week later, but all my things were already in the attic and the room was back to how it was when my stepsister lived there. She was much older and already married. It was weird, but definitely cemented the point.
Load More Replies... DDmaybeandor 2 years ago
Idc if I get downvoted but my child isn’t just living with me forever or getting a free ride. When he gets a job a percentage is going towards savings, first for a car and then for an apartment. If he won’t do it voluntarily then I’ll charge rent, but I’m saving it so he’s got a nest egg. People want to have independence and it’s a parent’s job to foster that. It’s not our job to make things too easy, we have to teach responsibility and then make them responsible. And if he falls on his face he can come home and start again if there’s any way possible.
James016 2 years ago
There is nothing wrong with that approach. You are teaching him about budgeting and that the bills have to be paid first. A lot of these are “You’re 18, f**k off”
Load More Replies... Robin DJW 2 years ago
My brothers and I were out (by our own choices) by 19. And we loved and were loved by our parents. I know that today's world is radically different for young people. Kicking a child out at 18 just because they can is the ultimate horrific thing a parent can do. I sorrow for all of you.
Blondie23 2 years ago
In the 70's my grandparents pretty much kicked each one of their kids out when they turned 18. They made it impossible for them to be adults living at home. Then fast forward to the 90's and my parents told me I could live there as long as I needed because they knew life was hard when you are young. Now here we are in 2023 and my kids are telling me they are never moving out and I don't care. They can stay as long as they want. We need to get back to the mind set of a village sticking together. It makes life easier when we stick together!!!!
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
My parents basically told me when I turned 18 and we just moved to a new house: You are free to stay, if you pull your weight around here. Otherwise, you know where the door is (kinda put that way). I am partially ashamed to say that back then, I was pretty much just bumming around with no clear direction. Failed one college entry, worked for a bit, got my degree finally and started working and giving what I could in a span of about 5 years later. It took me about 2-3 more years to make a bigger contribution to the household and about 5 years later, I learnt from them that they had bought the house in me and my brother's name and had absolutely no plans to throw us on the streets whatsoever. They just needed the both of us to start bucking up and stop messing around. My brother and I still live with our parents in said house and they have always told us since that it's your house, but we all chip in as much as we can. No one is kicking anyone out unless they've committed bloody murder or
SheamusFanFrom1987 2 years ago (edited)
something. Overall, my brother and I are lucky. Our parents "threatened" us but meant well. No 18 and you're out BS. So one day, if I manage to mature up enough to the point of having kids, I hope I can do the same (I'd like to think I'm wise enough to most of the ways of the world but probably not prepared enough to bring in new life to it).
Load More Replies... James016 2 years ago
My wife and I are hoping our son can live independently but there is every chance he may not be able to. We are teaching him at the moment to be independent around the house. He can make his own breakfast and sandwiches for the most part. He can put his bits in the dishwasher when he has finished with them. He is autistic, has partial global developmental delay and is so hypermobile even physical tasks that are no problem for most, he struggles with as his fingers just bend backwards. We are working on that as well.
Billy Harrelson 2 years ago
I remember back when my nephew was growing up, as he got closer to turning 18, my sister-in-law would tell anyone and everyone how as soon as he turned 18 he was moving out. Every chance she got. Fast forward to now and my 20 year old nephew is still at home, paying her bills. My niece who is two years younger turned out to be the one who got kicked out and she was 16 when it happened. So toxic.
You May Like Non-Americans Were Not Prepared To Hear That These Unimaginable Things Are True About The US Pastors Call Woman A “Witch” For Exposing Churches’ Double Standards With “Brilliant” Experiment
Justinas Keturka
Karina Babenok
Related on Bored Panda
