50 Parents Having A Pretty Miserable Day

To find out about navigating parenting in these crazily uncertain times, Bored Panda reached out to Natalie Maximets, a certified life transformation coach at “Online Divorce,” which is a professional divorce document preparation service with 20 years of market history.

“The pandemic and isolation have certainly shocked every family with a child. Now our houses or apartments aren’t just places where we live. Currently, this space also serves as an office, a school, a place for activities, etc.,” Natalie told us.

According to her, the situation is twofold. “On the one hand, parents are constantly with their children and can devote more time to them. But on the other hand, not everyone can withstand such a stress test as limited space doesn’t provide an opportunity to direct one’s energy and emotions outward.”

What’s more, the need to combine multiple roles is even more obvious.There are many challenges parents can face during times of pandemic and postpandemic. “First, they have to act as teachers because of homeschooling. However, not all parents have the necessary skills to explain the subject matter to their children easily. Moreover, with this additional role, it becomes more challenging to maintain a balance,” Natalie explained.

“Second, parents can face behavioral problems in their children. Due to a lack of interaction with other kids, the inability to play with someone other than their parents, and a limited list of activities, children can become irritable, aggressive, or hyperactive (it’s purely individual).” Natalie said that such situations are challenging for both the children and the parents.

“Third, it can be difficult for working parents to take care of their children’s daily routines. Kindergartens, schools, and hobby groups are extremely important. They help structure children's lives, fill them with meaning every day, and reduce conflicts in the family. In the new realities, parents have to think about how to keep their children busy every minute.”

Moreover, Natalie explained that during quarantine, people become closer to each other. As a result, personal boundaries are blurred, leading to two possible scenarios. “In scenario one, parents and children start working against each other, causing conflicts. In scenario two, they manage to establish an even deeper connection with each other. The main thing with the second scenario is to not leave the child alone with their fears.”

For any parent who feels overwhelmed with trying to juggle out these duties, Natalie’s advice is to change perspective. “Young parents may feel overwhelmed, anxious, and stressed out because they take on too much and want to be ideal parents. But remember, the child doesn’t need a perfect mom or dad. They need emotionally healthy parents because the parent’s psychological state directly affects the kids.”

She continued: “Therefore, every time you feel strained to your limits, just stop, exhale, and deal with the problem you can solve at the moment. It will make you feel capable of doing something. Then, try to break bigger problems into smaller ones. You’ll see that there are practically no unsolvable situations.”

At the same time, it seems like there are too many parenting styles and methods out there. Natalie confirmed that the topic is often very controversial, with many parents having strong opinions about raising their children. “But at the same time, the goal is always the same—to raise a happy, healthy, and successful child. Each of the existing parenting styles and methods focuses on it.”

According to the life coach, it is crucial to find the one that works for your child. “For example, the well-known Montessori method may not suit an active child. Waldorf education may not work for children with strong leadership qualities and a great need for physical activity. Technique by Cecil Lupan requires the baby’s mother to spend almost all of her time exercising with her child.”

Natalie added that there is no single recipe to understand what is suitable for your child. Having said that, she also listed some steps you may want to think about. “First, you should analyze your child’s personality and the required level of physical activity, creativity, and socialization. Second, think about the 4 main parenting styles (authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, uninvolved) and try to predict your child’s reaction to each of them. Perhaps in your case, you can’t choose one style. Then, think about how you can mix them or even work out your own.”

Natalie concluded that as a parent, you can also go to a professional psychologist who will talk with you and your child, determine strong sides and interests, and suggest possible options.