People who live in the big cities are definitely masters of eavesdropping. Sometimes they can't help it, accidentally overhearing conversations from complete strangers can be so funny, it's hard not to share them with someone else. Whether it's shaming others for the choice of their quarantine snacks or first dates that went wrong, there's plenty of amusing small talk happening in the streets.
And here comes the fittingly named Instagram account Overheard San Francisco. Like its big brothers, @OverheardLA, @OverheardNewYork and @OverheardLondon, it is dedicated to sharing the funniest eavesdropped interactions in San Francisco and the Bay area. Jesse Margolis started Overheard LA in 2015 after listening to a stereotypical conversation between two Angelenos at a health food store. Since then, the project has grown into a community with over 1.6M followers.
Keep scrolling to see some of the most hilarious quotes, upvote your favorites and leave a comment if you find them amusing! And after you’re done, don't forget to check our previous posts here, here and here.
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I am in a cafe reading this I laughed so loud everyone now is looking at me as if I’m some sort of weirdo. Mind you they’re probably right. 😂😂😂
The Overheard San Francisco account has reached 350K followers who are listening to the private chitchats happening on those steep streets. On a mission to find out what brings them to this project, Bored Panda reached out to the Overheard representative for a quick chat. They were kind enough to tell us a little bit more about it.
“@OverheardSanFrancisco launched in 2018 under the umbrella of the @OverheardLA brand. I came on as a Bay Area native, knowing the city needed its own account to fully capture the unique and ridiculous humor in things that are so uniquely San Francisco,“ the creative explained.
It seems like the account is all about connecting people through common experiences: “Like any new Instagram account, it started small but quickly grew through word of mouth, sharing and tagging. It's been interesting to watch the trends over the years based on the submissions in our inbox - tech is always a big one, then everyone in San Francisco got a goldendoodle, then came pandemic behavior, etc.“
It's a little bit sad that the whole COVID situation became so much about politics and so little about the actual disease.
Not little bit sad. It's terrible that we are so divided that we can't even agree on things that can be scientificaly proven.
Load More Replies...How can you tell if a person is vaccinated (in the US)? Ask them who won the election. Sad, but true.
Except for the fact that inner city African Americans are the least vaccinated group of Americans.
Load More Replies...And this year it’s filtered down to the flu shot, with 60% of Dems getting it vs 40% Reps. Absolute inanity.
This is accurate. I received the flu shot every year but when I am told that I absolutely have to in order to keep my job like a dictator, then yes, I got my exemption.
Load More Replies...My 12yo recently told me they always wear a mask in public because they don't want people to think they're Republican and I was fine with that.
When I was growing up, my mother made no bones that she was indoctrinating us; we’re all lefties except for my sister, who’s always gone against the family tide.
Load More Replies...I honestly don't know why people like these 'overheard' pages. It's quite clear most of them are made up.
Talking about what are the most enjoyable topics of conversations for the community, dating comes out at the top. “There are just so many relatable and hilarious things that happen in the modern dating landscape. A lot of our quotes either take place on dates or involve friends talking about their dates, their weird quirks, and their (inevitable) dating catastrophes,” the community manager explained.
“The other thing I notice a lot with tech is tech-y references being used in dating situations, such as this quote and this quote. These are always hilarious because they're such an eye-roll, but everyone who lives here can relate.”
Disposable masks I can sadly imagine but hair extensions??? xD
Load More Replies...the rare san fransico tumbleweed only found in adandoned yoga mat stores
When asked about how @OverheardSanFrancisco differs from the other accounts, Overheard told us that it is smaller, so the community feels intimate in its own way. “As the community manager, I am able to talk to most of the people in our DMs and comments, and there are a lot of niche jokes and references that make the account feel super local.”
This one hit home. I think I've been in a perpetual existential crisis since January 2017.
Omg I know what I'm doing next Valentine's Day 🤣🤣🤣 Now I just need a cockatoo.
Or a snake and mice, or a frog and flies, or a ...
Load More Replies...I love The Bronx Zoo. I met a cheetah there :)
Load More Replies...I need to go to a party like this, now I need to find a friend that has a bird.
Cockatoos would much rather have seeds, fruits, nuts, berries, blossoms, roots, or vegetation than worms.
“We also do things like Missed Connections to bring our audience together and remind us all that this little Instagram world is a lot smaller than we thought,“ the creative told more about the community. And speaking of San Franciscans themselves, they "are passionate in their opinions on things like neighborhoods, food, and phrases (don't ever say San-Fran or they'll come for you!)"
Not even pad thai anymore, nor asian. Just make your own meal and stop being a freak
spinach and coconut oil??? who does that instead of thai??????? idiot
I've found that Asian restaurants don't tolerate any change requests. I requested for the rice to be left off my dish one time and they refused. I didn't want more or less of anything else, just leave off the rice. They said I must have rice and wouldn't budge. I ended up ordering something else instead.
Could be it was already made with rice? Imaging kitchen crew cursing as they pick rice grains out with chopsticks ...
Load More Replies...I mean, spinach with pad Thai sauce and toppings does sound good, but that's a very special order.
Reminds me of a meme: Even when this pandemic is over I still want some of y'all to stay 6 feet away from me 😆
I worked with a woman who was from NOLA and she told me that y’all is singular and if you’re talking to more than one person, the proper phrase is all y’all...I immediately updated my vocab and never looked back!
Load More Replies...I hate it when people comment on my shopping. Really really hate it.
But well, when you have a cart with 20 tubs of chocolate mint, people will notice. It's not judgement, it's awe. As in how that's an inspiring way of surviving this gosh darned situation without killing people
Load More Replies..."This ice cream is all that stands between you and a punch in the face!"
My friend works for a company that goes to Kroger stores and sets up display's so she's always walking around with carts full of the same product. Someone yesterday thought she was buying up all of Kroger's jars of brown gravy and went CRAZY on her... She laughed so hard, like "I'm stocking the shelves not hoarding gravy!" I LOL'd
Well to be fair, shopping at my local Kroger is kind of post apocalyptic.
Load More Replies...Is this a U.S. thing? There is no way people would tolerate that in any country I've been to... but plenty of people I've met from the U.S. seem to provide unsolicited advice to random strangers or people they barely know.
This is a thing to comment others shooping cart? Never happened to me in Slovakia. Why i think this is a matter only in the most “small talk friendly chit-chat how are you let’s talk” country? 😀
It's the same in other places in Europe too. Only time I could imagine such a thing could happen is if I'd see sonething in another person's cart that I had been looking for, and not found. Then I'd ask, explaining the situation.
Load More Replies...Where is commenting on the contents of someone else's cart even a thing?
Thinking about what hot gossip is flowing around San Francisco right now, bitcoin is top-of-mind, Scorpios are breaking hearts, and everyone is coming out of quarantine very, very horny. So if you accidentally overheard a funny conversation on these topics, do not hesitate and DM your submission @OverheardSanFrancisco!
It might be mine I lost mine too wait did I lose it? What does lose mean
Load More Replies...Did the book have a money back guarantee? Never mind, they forgot where they bought it.
I like to imagine summoning an giant hand with the proper gesture sprouting from the ground with unholy fury and it shoots a laser at the jerk.
Load More Replies...This is almost as good as watching a drunk person try and take a shot of whiskey with their mask on.
This is totally something I am going to do when I don't wear a mask anymore. I've started making nasty faces at people, and I will definitely make a few when I stop wearing masks.
Honestly when it comes to food and drink I don’t care what I consume as long as it don’t kill me. I mean it will in the long run but it’s so worth it
A doctor told me that drinking water will kill you. He said that EVERY single person who has died drank water. So, going with single malt here.
Load More Replies...Dude Mountain Dew is the only soda I refuse to drink. And I drink a lot of it.
Mountain Dew contains brominated vegetable oil - a known potent carcinogen.
Load More Replies...Also, Walgreens clearly treat their employees better...there’s a Walgreens at the corner of Castro & 18th streets in San Francisco that has numerous employees who’ve been there 20+ years. This particular Walgreens is purported to be the busiest Walgreens in the country.
Load More Replies...Nothing...absolutely nothing that isn’t true of all other sodas.
Load More Replies...https://financialpost.com/legal-post/the-case-of-the-mouse-in-the-mountain-dew
Reminds me of the time my daughter was car sick and there was pretty bad bush fire smoke outside...we had to make a difficult choice.
Because socializing is what we do as a species. And staying outdoors and a few feet apart should be relatively safe and who knows, maybe they live together anyway and infection rates were low. That's why.
Load More Replies...Brunch is just an excuse for alcohol so why wouldn't you living through hell? No, really.. it's a valid question
And would you please move a little to your left, look over your right shoulder, and smile ?
A few years ago I was alone in a hotel elevator in Hong Kong where they played music and I started dancing.... until I realized there was camera :-D
Hey, at least the security stuff had something fun to tell that day ^^
Load More Replies...What does fornicating mean I’m 13 with a really good vocabulary but it still hasn’t gone THAT far.
my favories netflix and chill, funimation and fornication, crunchyroll and munch the hole, and nhentai with senpai
Six inches is referring to a penis. Since the person in question is a lesbian, she's never seen one.
Load More Replies...Which happens naturally stupid, been happy for thousands of years! Hello 👋
If I ever meet a baby one day I wanna talk like this to them lol
I had to lecture a group of group of students who were completely unversed in the history of the fights against global warming. Was I to hard on first graders? I think not. (Sarcasm intended)
During the 1970s disco craze there was a place on Columbus near where the humongous Tower Records used to be called Dance Your Ass Off...I loved that place!
Where is this wonderful lady! So great! Listen to speed wagon while speed walking!
The most essential part of a crime scene is to not touch anything...
Load More Replies...Genuine question; shouldn't that be an other instead of another? Makes me think he was going from girl to girl. Yet anóther girl's extensions.. 😁
Why on earth would you commit a crime in your Denim Balenciaga Jacket then?
Woah there's a difference between a street punk and a classy criminal ok
Load More Replies...*Takes off jacket, neatly folds it and sets it on top of a car* Alrigghtttt, now I'll get on the ground, Jesus Christ
He isnt but you are for spending that much money on a jacket rather than understanding common sense
Cuts off five minutes before the drunk uncle drops his pants.
Load More Replies...Yeah, a facelift is just lifting it back to where it used to be. Filters make everybody look like anime.
Load More Replies...Huh, never thought about it like that; Plastic surgery is just IRL filters.
Its actually because (ive had this problem before) the dog basically sees you being uncomfortable and irritable so it knows your scared or weary and it comes up to you and like socializes
Now he knows you don't have a dog, so he can follow you home and burglarize you or worse. Always say you have a dog at home. One that's too aggressive to take on walks in public.
Or mom. Or other mom or dad, considering it's San Francisco.
Load More Replies...Hmm parental issues? Idk there must be some dominant influence that made him/her think this way
This doesn’t happen if you stick to thighs and legs...
Load More Replies...Smart planning, but dumb to tell the guy
Load More Replies...Whatever floats your boat just don't mix the names
Load More Replies...The only good part of dating is the new clothes. Date may not work but you get a fabulous new dress!
I'd rather have a good relationship with my stepchild than focus on what they call me
Also, you can't do force that type of intimate affection from them. It either happens naturally, or not at all
Load More Replies...If there are only four years between them, why is there a requirement for permission??? Unless, of course, Natasha is underage and that would make 'Dad' a pedo.
I married my husband when I was 36. He was 52. My step kids are older than me. They call me mom as a joke.
Load More Replies...My kids (foster, neglected and is sort of mine, and step) call me by my name. They only call me mom if they want something or need to feel loved. I prefer it.
At least she loves them so bad that she’s fine with them dating eachother instead of getting mad
I love this because no matter how you spin the situation, someone is gay.
I have never wanted to witness something so much in my entire life
Here in New Orleans I regularly see men in tiger onesies walking home at 8am Monday morning. And people in other costumes. Less frequently since covid though.
Load More Replies...Saw a guy in a full on gorilla suit walking down Geary st once. No one paid any attention
About 20 years ago I lived in a small (approx 50.000 inhabitants) in Denmark. One day I'm walking down the street, I can hear someone running in high heels, and a really big man with a full face of dark beard passes by me in a short light blue sequence dress.
50 yrs ago, NYC, saw a hairy chested "lady" board the bus. NYC had shiny spandex way back then.
Load More Replies...Roomie wondered why he got ads for my searches; I use his Amazon Prime.
Had our first biggish lengthy "board room meeting" in a long time the other day. It was really very hard to have to look interested throughout the whole meeting and to not start doodling. :-)
Doodling can actually help information stick in our minds better. I happen to listen better while I draw/color, luckily I have dealt with people who either understand, or they quickly realize I pay attention better when my hands are busy.
Load More Replies...I learned how to solve that one years ago. When someone is yammering on in front of me, I suddenly put up my finger as if i'm about to make a point, my mouth drops open as if i'm about to say something, this visual cue usually stops the other person talking while they wait for me to add my tidbit, then I just immediately walk away. They stand there not knowing if i went to find something and bring it back to them to discuss, or if i heard something within earshot and had to dart off, they're just left standing there. Because they don't know what to do, they just drop the whole thing and saunter quietly back to their desk. Not once has anyone EVER followed me, they just drop the whole conversation.
That’s brilliant! How did you come up with this?
Load More Replies...And why can’t we just enlarge text with our fingers in reality, so annoying.
Person telling someone about their time in Alcatraz: “The worst part of prison was the Dementors!”
I used to get the two mixed up all the time until like 5 years ago lmao
Yeah I miss the curfew just a bit. No idiots talking at full volume in the parking lot next to my house in the middle of the night. On the other hand: Teenager at home all the time.
I miss not having to clean because no one was allowed to drop by due to lockdown. A happier, simpler, braless time. Sigh.
I stopped wearing a bra years before lockdown was even a thing.
Load More Replies...Good. Maybe there will be a change in the American diet with less added sugars and crap some day.
When I read it I thought it meant not enough sugar so it must be disgusting 😂
Load More Replies...Where was this and what did that conversation sound like?
Load More Replies...I am astounded that so many people did not get the joke---the kid is 5. years. old......(hint: too young to actually know this...).....never mind...
Oops, Just looked at mine and it has 20mg sugar. But, it is delicious. Not diabetic or overweight, either, BTW
I’m sure zodiac things are fun to believe in, but I personally don’t think it should be the decision maker of anything. But hey, that’s my opinion.
I am a zodiac signs strong believer right, but I agree fully with this statement because at the end of the day, we are all individuals before we are the things of this world.
Load More Replies...We (Black Missippians) call it "getting sprankled" (sprinkled)
Load More Replies...Source: my sister is scorpio and she's great! But maybe I'm wrong, after all I'm only taurus
Load More Replies...My mum was a Capricorn and my dad was a Gemini. Everything I read about those star signs said that they were completely wrong for each other. But there was no couple in the world more in love with each other than they were. They were just perfect for each other. They married in 1962. When dad died in 2007 my mum kept a scarf she bought for him under her pillow until she died in the same room on August the 31 this year. They are buried together in a double plot now and together for ever where they belong in Heaven. Horoscopes don’t always get it right.
Perfectly understandable. I took 2 weeks of vacation when I got my kittens.
Because having children is not some sort of an achievement. It does not make you smart, grown up or worthy something. It simply states what you are biologically capable of producing them. I often hear proud "but I'm a mother/father"... so f..g what? You live in a rented basement giving away half of combined income, and now you have a child to take care of for the next 20'ish years on top of your already f..d up life. Is that an achievement or me being to cynical?
I'd go with cynical, but I also want to give you a hug and bring you some of my chocolate chip cookies, or shortbread or just give you a smile.
Load More Replies...I tried the whole "covid-plant" thing. Killed all of them. I followed my mum´s instructions, but nope, I have a death thumb instead of a green thumb. One peace lily, three succulents, and a cactus. All dead.
Only successful plants I can grow are aquatic and outdoor plants... And I'm a retired ag scientist (farm sciences). I feel you on the dead thumb thing. Only I have no excuse.
Load More Replies...At school they have the stupid 'carry a bag of flour for a month to see what having a baby is like', never understood this. Give everyone a plant and see if the thing's still alive in 2weeks, far better test. Half the kids can't keep a Tamagotchi alive, the bag of flour was already doomed.
Don't worry. I have two kids and still regularly kill plants. The kids are ok so far.
Lol. That's how I have killed every single succulent I have ever owned. Now I water it when I remember... Sooo once every two months. Its fine... I think
Load More Replies...The song of my people. Some things really don't get better. You adapt better to failure.
I really don't have a problem with famous people on Instagram. Except the ones who just want attention and money. The ones who just enjoy being on social media and don't get rude just because they have a lot of followers are fine though
Yeah, like the nice people are fine, but the dickheads are just obnoxious
Load More Replies...Influencers influence *stupid* people to do stupid s**t. There...fixed it for ya.
Load More Replies...I have a red retro 1950s style fridge on my patio just for beer/ciders. Some of us are dedicated alcoholics.
Round corners and a tiny “freezer” dangling down from the top of the inside?
Load More Replies...Pigeons go for each other's toes when they fight. Vicious ones will completely snip toes off.
Load More Replies...What city does this person live in? Almost every city pigeon i've ever seen is f***ed up in some way, usually missing digits on their toes due to fishing line/thread/plastic 6-pack holders. I found a pigeon chick in the middle of Glasgow as a kid, out of the nest too early and couldn't fly, even as a chick it was already f***ed up, feathers all messed up and toes wonky. Called it Quasimodo cus it was so damn ugly. Don't worry, I raised and released him when he was ready, he lived in my backyard for 2yrs before disappearing.
From https://localwiki.org/sf/Pigeons.......Have you noticed that a lot of city pigeons are missing toes? That's due to a Staphylococcus infection commonly referred to as "bumble foot." Spread through contact with other pigeons and their feces, bumble foot causes tendinitis, arthritis, and joint abscesses.
The answer to the ultimate question about life universe and everything
"I'm a professional dog stalker." "You mean walker." "No, I mean stalker."
Load More Replies...Now using this phrase as a nicer way to point out a narcissistic A-hole. Thanks!
Load More Replies...I need a TV/Skit show where it's just young kids saying the stuff you hear adults say, have little kids pretending to be working at an office, complaining about "karen in HR". I'll tune in for that hilarity.
I miss the days before airplane WiFi when you really were isolated for awhile.
Test eggs of the chicken variety by putting them in water. If they float, they're expired.
That's true, but she was referring to HER OWN eggs...
Load More Replies...Nothing wrong with this as long as they don't say it to the son. You can't pick family and some people are very hard to love. Most of the time through no fault of their own.
I agree up to the point where someone says it vin public at all.
Load More Replies...I've learned that I always love my kid but I definitely don't always like them.
I'm 47 and still a pepper. With more life experience. Little girl, I'll take your man!
I’ve used iPhone my whole life and never had a screen crack. And I’m very rough with my phones. It’s about finding the right case
Load More Replies...I thought I was perfect until I woke one morning and I had improved. lmao
Everytime someone hands me an iphone/apple product, all i can do is stare at it exclaiming "what IS this?!". Android forever.
I'm going to ask my priest if hate counts as a mortal sin if it's just from a quote on the internet.
beans beans are good for your heart the more you eat the more you fart the more you fart the better you feel so eat more beans with every meal! :)
I'm with Dee Dee - I know that rhyme as "Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you toot."
Load More Replies...Not medical masks. At Burning Man you're kinda expected to dress up in 'costume'. It used to be an awesome festival of art and free expression until Dr. Dre and corporate America got involved.
Load More Replies...Unless he makes the donation on the spot and shows her his screen. Totally legitimate.
Load More Replies...I like this, it seems weird but I like how she's asking him to prove what makes him a worthwhile human being to date, and the simplicity of finding out whether or not he's a charitable person is very clever. This is a good way to weed out the idiots who wouldn't spit on their own grandma if she was on fire.
He brought alcohol and food to a nail appointment....i think i already love this man.
A big knife to cut it in two and pull out the seed, and then just a spoon...my stomach just started growling!
Load More Replies...how the hell has this dude not discovered an avocado yet they sell them in iowa anyway!
You'll be hearing from the Corgi Anti-Defamation League. ;-)
Load More Replies...Product Manager is a job....we have 4 in our company.
Load More Replies...These coins are everyone's dreams! And this one. This one is mine! MY dream! I'm taking them back! I'm taking them all back!
Is it stealing though, I mean the coins were literally thrown into the fountain. If anything, he is picking up other people's litter.
What? Amazon Prime? Ordering a jacket on Amazon Prime?
Load More Replies...Quarterbacks are the team captains. Shows leadership skills. Combined with work in logistics, he's basically boasting he'll be an excellent breadwinner.
Load More Replies...everyone cares about the quarterback... but no one cares about the quarterback
Just about any viruses spread are spread by those body fluids.
Load More Replies...So, the man gave the woman head last night? just trying to get it straight
It's just slang for general oral sex -- it doesn't always mean fellatio.
Load More Replies...I do not understand nor "get" infidelity. It isn't a "sometime" thing. It is a commitment. I would NEVER do anything to hurt my husband, for any reason. I love him and that's all there is.
It’s important to not cheat even when you’re not married too. Especially if you’re not married, if you’re unhappy in your relationship, just communicate it and work out a solution, even if that means breaking up. Not fricken cheat, it’s wrong and all it does is hurt people
Load More Replies...The more I read these, the more convinced I am that SF is really toxic.
And if you tell him you're married, is it true or just making him jealous?
I see the words The Mission and I immediately want to go to La Taqueria! Can anyone tell me if they still exist?
It's a large park in San Francisco near Castro district
Load More Replies...Not a popular opinion here, but electric cars are not great for environment either. They just pollute in a different stage of its existence.
Agreed. It largely depends on where the owner's electricity comes from.
Load More Replies..."As a matter of fact yes I am. Thank you for using my correct species."
Sometimes I'd prefer the Active Pharmaceutical Ingredient.
Load More Replies...Through Glassdoor you can see the salary range of various jobs, not look up a specific person, unless they’re C-level executives.
Load More Replies...We don't have proof of that and it doesn't make one bit of difference for people enjoying it.
Load More Replies...Not that surprising since there aren’t many redneck conservatives in SanFran.
Load More Replies...The other day on Haight Street in SF I was passed by a couple with a little girl who said, "I deserve a reward for getting my vaccine." At the next corner they crossed and went into Ben & Jerry's. I thought, "Well played, kid. Well played."
I would like to hear conversations from countries other than the US. I can hear this stuff anytime.
We don't have proof of that and it doesn't make one bit of difference for people enjoying it.
Load More Replies...Not that surprising since there aren’t many redneck conservatives in SanFran.
Load More Replies...The other day on Haight Street in SF I was passed by a couple with a little girl who said, "I deserve a reward for getting my vaccine." At the next corner they crossed and went into Ben & Jerry's. I thought, "Well played, kid. Well played."
I would like to hear conversations from countries other than the US. I can hear this stuff anytime.
