38 Of The Funniest &#8216;Outstanding Move&#8217; Jokes Ever

Jaded Queen 5 years ago

Hating yourself is mad skills bro it's not sad. Hating is a personal thing. If everybody hated themselves it would be somuch nicer

10points

Khadeja 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

2points

Party Poison 5 years ago

its so me

2points

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

Haha, this would be me.

4points

Vic 5 years ago

Brilliant!

2points

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

Lol true, true

1point

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

Too often a sad reality.

1point

Tessa Gray 5 years ago

:(: ʎuunɟ ʇǝʎ 'pɐs

0points

Zahra（＾ν＾） 5 years ago

s a m e

0points

Rebecca Mearns 5 years ago

clever

0points

Mike Barbato 5 years ago

Here is how the joke really played out . A man finds a magic lamp and gets 3 wishes everything one comes true his ex wife gets double , his last wish was the be beaten half to death !!!

0points

ចិត្រ្តា ខុន 5 years ago

I hate myself the most...

0points

As for the perpetrators who inspired the original video in the first place, Bogoljubov and Rellstab faced off 14 times playing classical chess, and Bogoljubov won 7 to 1, with 6 draws.

Sam Copeland, National Master and Director of Content for Chess.com, told Bored Panda that he really enjoyed not only the 'outstanding move', but the entire game García had analyzed."[It's] a gorgeous 'miniature' (a game of fewer than 25 moves, rare among masters) which shows some very attractive ideas from White to force the early victory."

Copeland also provided us with very interesting details surrounding the game. "Interestingly, it was organized by the Nazis in occupied Poland. The white player, Efim Bogoljubov, a two-time world championship challenger, was actually born in Kiev but lived in Germany after he was interred there during WWI. This happened because he was playing the Mannheim 1914 tournament when war was declared between Germany and Russia, and he was not allowed to leave Germany thereafter," he explained.

"The star move is 16.Bg6!!", he said, highlighting that chess players add two exclamation marks to indicate a brilliant move. "It is striking because White offers three sacrifices: the bishop may be captured by two black pawns (either capture allows Nxd6+ as in the game) and the knight on c4 may be captured (when White has the excellent move Rxe6+!). Sacrifices in chess are always attractive, but sacrifices on an 'empty square' such as g6 are considered particularly striking because you are offering up your pieces without immediately gaining anything in return."

#2

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

409points

POST

Ben Smith 5 years ago

Well played!

75points

$fracarr avatar$

François Carré 5 years ago

Love how she stands happy and proud with her well-deserved returned bike.

18points

Raine Soo 5 years ago

Taking back what is yours is not theft.

8points

Janine B. 5 years ago

Great. But please call the cops, too.

7points

Maria 5 years ago

I remember this story. She did, and told them about the Craigslist ad but they weren't interested.

2points

Carroll Cadden 5 years ago

My father's dirt bike was stolen from home once, and while at a store elsewhere not long after, someone rode up on it. My father went out, kickstarted it, and came back home with it, with the thief shouting, "Hey, he's stealing my motorcycle"!

6points

ChinaPandas122 5 years ago

rude thief what happened ?

0points

DC 5 years ago

Brother in law did kinda that... His bike got stolen, and he saw it on his way to work ... so he brought a lock the next day, locked it in place and took a pair of those bolt-cutting scissors from work to cut open the lock the thief had used. Thieves suck!

5points

ChinaPandas122 5 years ago

yep

0points

Nicky OldfieldDesciple 5 years ago

I would have brought a police officer along with me too. What's to stop him stealing another bike and the next victim might not be as lucky as you.

2points

Joey Marlin 5 years ago

In the UK, don't know about anywhere else, they'd not be interested. They just don't have the resources to deal with this kind of thing sadly. I've read a couple of stories of people doing their own investigating. Eg https://www.cyclingweekly.com/news/latest-news/jeremy-vine-helps-his-nhs-nurse-neighbour-after-her-bike-was-stolen-from-outside-hospital-458399

3points

Iggy 5 years ago

I love this!

1point

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

This was exactly the right formula to get the right result.

1point

Daniel Krasimirov Hadzhiev Imamov 3 years ago

i did the same thing 2 years ago lol

0points

Candidate Master (CM) James Coleman from England also agreed to take a look at it, saying that his impression is "Black played a risky opening that didn't pay off and never fully equalized the game. Black probably should have tried 10...d6 to stop White from playing e4-e5, although White would have retained the advantage in any case. This was definitely one key moment."

As for 16.Bg6, the 'outstanding move', Coleman described it as "beautifully aesthetic".

"[White put the piece] on a square where it could've been captured two different ways, but neither capture solved Black's problems. It's the sort of move that can be quite hard to see as the brain often filters such moves out as they are counter-intuitive in appearance."

"Realistically though, the game was just a typical example of a top player dismantling his weaker opponent and the game seems unremarkable with the exception of the Bg6! Bolt from the blue." Coleman said.

#3

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

404points

POST

Downunderdude 5 years ago

Brilliant!

69points

Dilly Millandry 5 years ago

That is such a wonderfully happy face! Excellent move, well done!

19points

cassiushumanmother 5 years ago

"your degree won't keep you warm at night" is one of the dumbest sentence i ever read/heard (right now on BP i discovered it, is that a thing people tell others?). Not a single degree is useless, it keep your brain warm, and to fulfill your passions keep your heart warm. I would have a lot of things to say to dumb people who dare to tell such idiocy to educated people, i would kill them with words, they don't deserve to live or worst, reproduce.

10points

Anna Neemus 5 years ago

The quote is in reference to people who choose an education/career over marriage/relationships. In bed alone with no one to keep you warm.

3points

DramaDoc 5 years ago

OMG!! I NEED this!

2points

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

Outstanding move

1point

Darth Vader 5 years ago

Degrees. Heh.

1point

Billie Templeton 5 years ago

For those who wonder who could say such an awful thing to another human being? From personal experience I can tell you this usually happens in very abusive or dysfunctional homes. The family member feels threatened that you're going to accomplish more for yourself then others in your household have done, thus breaking out of your socio-economic class. They don't want to feel threatened by your success. It can be a sibling, parent, aunt... Anyone. They are definitely toxic dream crushers. It's taken DECADES of great therapy and finally mastering into a real loving family to heal enough to be healthy.

1point

Billie Templeton 5 years ago

**marrying into a loving family, not mastering.

0points

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago

That's ace! What a clever idea...

1point

ChinaPandas122 5 years ago

lol

0points

Jeff Diamond 5 years ago

THAT'S AWESOME

0points

#4

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

404points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

It's not dangerous to flat earthers because there is a wall of ice around the earth.

68points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

Does the turtle carrying the earth get cold from that?

25points

Monday 5 years ago

So the question should have been "has anyone been squashed against the wall of ice yet?"

11points

Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago

They probably believe dragons are/were real too.

3points

lara 5 years ago

Nah, that melted, raised the oceans and we are all treading water now.

3points

Sarah Trachtenberg 5 years ago

Aren't flat earthers worried that global warming will melt the... oh, forget it.

1point

Sydney Borofsky 5 years ago

Haha. Until they get it...

1point

$fracarr avatar$

François Carré 5 years ago

So did they manage to kick you over the edge somehow ?

5points

Edo Alva 5 years ago (edited)

oh no we can't answer that, hurry kick him out!

2points

Lydia Coy 5 years ago

Yas

1point

Colleen 5 years ago

Note to self - Make sure my bladder is empty before reading LOL's.

0points

Carmen Honacker Premium 5 years ago

Hahaha, this is brilliant!

0points

Id row 5 years ago

This one is great, lol.

0points

Karly Codr 5 years ago

LOVE THAT

0points

Olivia Masterson 5 years ago

Funniest one yet!

0points

Danny Heath 5 years ago

Their imagination keeps them safe!

0points

#5

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

397points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

He just pointed out how unfair dress codes can be.

174points

SoozeeQ 5 years ago

Very clever. Reminds me of the UK schoolboys who wore skirts to protest against shorts ban to cope with summer heat. https://www.theguardian.com/education/2017/jun/22/teenage-boys-wear-skirts-to-school-protest-no-shorts-uniform-policy

31points

Lousha 5 years ago

Absolutely. On the other hand women usually don't have bits that can hang out from under their skirts. My dad is a taxi driver who's always had great pride in keeping his vehicle very clean and tidy, and his own appearance professional, hygienic, presentable. Then his company had to install a dress code that banned shorts because of others who thought a tiny short without underwear was appropriate to drive in, and customers were complaining about having to look at their stuff peeking out.

13points

Linda Ellis 5 years ago

Every woman knows that.

5points

sylvantic 4 years ago

yes but it's only 86 degrees! who needs shorts? Wear a short sleeved shirt and you'll be fine!

0points

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago

I think men and women should be allowed to wear whatever corporate dress they want... I'm not bothered by men in dresses or women in suits. As long as they do their job (and many office jobs are not 'customer facing' so who gives a hoot!)

15points

jtrisn1 5 years ago

This guy reminds me of how my male coworkers complained that they couldn't wear shorts but the female coworkers can wear short skirts. I told them that technically the dress code isn't by gender so they can wear skirts too. A whole bunch of them were like "f**k no! I ain't gay!" But a few of them wore skirts the next day lol

3points

Douglas Mosier 5 years ago

I did the same thing when our dress code changed at work to disallow blue jeans but made an exception for blue denim skirts (because one of the supervisors who was the manager's pet liked wearing blue denim jumper dresses). I got online and ordered a blue denim skirt from Vermont Country Store and wore it into work the next Monday. Manager was not amused, but what could she do? I was within the dress code.

2points

Zophra 5 years ago

And then gets sent home without a job?

2points

Catlady6000 5 years ago

Dress code has to state it, otherwise no cause and he can sue

2points

Sandra Gramsch 5 years ago

Like, ok, in most areas, women are still in a disadvantage. Dress code at offices in summer isn't one of them.

0points

Vanta Black 5 years ago

Did he have the dress prepared, or was he lucky that he was able to find one that fit?

0points

Eloisa Hilton 5 years ago

Awesome!! He wanted to show everybody that some women's clothing are as short as Men's shorts.. IF NOT SHORTER!!

0points

The Hufflepuff Bookworm 5 years ago

That happened at my school a few years ago. They have changed the dress code now

0points

Pippa Runs 5 years ago

Good for him!

0points

#6

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

393points

POST

Pamela24 5 years ago

Am I the only one who's rubbed the wrong way by the policy? Ugh. (No discussion about how excellent the guy in the picture is, though.)

207points

Dilly Millandry 5 years ago

Nope, I'm with you. Gives the guy making the offer a chance to just leer which is why this fella rockin the bikini is so deserving!

53points

Janine B. 5 years ago

I think it's meant as a joke. We had a radio station that did exactly the same back in the 90s. The result was more dudes wearing a bikini or swimsuit than women were showing up. That's why they said "anyone" wearing a bikini gets free fuel. They just thought it would be fun.

26points

Phunny Philosopher 5 years ago

I've been thinking about this. Even though it's a joke/publicity stunt, it is rooted in misogyny. The underlying assumption is "Show me your sexy parts and I'll give you free fuel" This reinforces the view of women's sexuality as a commodity. That is disgusting because women have been (and millions still are) unable to make a living without a man. Thus sacrificing something precious to others who will exploit it. My apologies for the diatribe. I have never put all that into words before.

20points

Charlotte Stewart 5 years ago

Can we bring gas cans and show up more than once? Cause I'd take my happy middle-aged, corona bod down there in a bikini for free fuel, lol 😆 They asked for it!

10points

K.Kobayashi 5 years ago

It's not a "policy", it's a publicity stunt.

4points

DC 5 years ago

With you! The guy running this gas station (... it won't be a woman...) is likely a horny old guy wanting to see a little more flesh at work ... well ... I'd love to show him mine! If I get a free refill then, I might even go filling up naked...

3points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

To Lisa Johannesson: I would agree with you, that everyone got the fuel they wanted, but the man doing this is still a creep either way. To fuggnuggins: If you are saying the man doing this was just "having fun" then you are PROBABLY a creep too. This is wrong, if it was for creepy reasons. Now, a prank is different, but I'm not sure if it was one. To jiriw: obvioisly Pamela24 is not the only one considering many of the replies.

0points

John David Miller 4 years ago

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Lisa Johannesson 5 years ago

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fuggnuggins 5 years ago

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Monday 5 years ago

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jiriw 5 years ago

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Tracey Loyd 5 years ago

He's got nice legs... 😂

21points

Monday 5 years ago

He's rocking those heels too

13points

Laugh or not 5 years ago

If I remember correctly, they got a lot of men and many of them played it fantastically. Also yass, those legs!

10points

MRS FLASHMAN 5 years ago

He really "stepped" it up with the strappy heels.

7points

Patrick O'Harris 5 years ago

Damn, he isnt even looking bad in it!

5points

Vic 5 years ago (edited)

He went all the way, high heals n all..

5points

Blackheart 5 years ago

Gotta love the shoes!

4points

Devon W 5 years ago

that challenge is so gross and shouldn't be happening (but like where did he get that bikini)

4points

Lydia Coy 5 years ago

touche

3points

guy greej 5 years ago

He didn't have to wear the shoes but damne if he'll miss such an opportunity to do so.

2points

#7

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

381points

POST

Maryam Siddiqui 5 years ago

now that IS indeed an outstanding move

129points

Doggo Georgia 5 years ago

Yes, IDC if I actually need a matress (however, I happen to), I'm heading over right now...TO THEIR WEBSITE!

6points

Daria B 5 years ago

Plot twist: the dog still prefers to occupy your bed because it's there and it's bigger and they can do it.

19points

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

Outstanding move

1point

Greg Hoggarth 5 years ago

They're just mattress samples that they're putting to good use.

8points

Frankenfrog 5 years ago

How would you even go about that, you can't really lie fully stretched on the tiny mattress

3points

Johnny 5 years ago

Coincidentally I just saw one of those mattress samples at a retailer and asked if I could buy one for my dog -- he said they only had one per mattress type and couldn't sell it. He kindly looked in the back to see if they had and extras laying around but couldn't find one.

4points

Thomas Ewing 5 years ago

But I have four dogs!

3points

Belle_Pandamonium🇧🇻l 5 years ago

You need more beds.

2points

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

No I have to get a dog.

3points

Sati 5 years ago

What about my cat? What does she get? A dog?

2points

Thalia Lovering 5 years ago

Hopefully they have bigger ones for bigger pups.

2points

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago

Cool idea... both pup and their person(s) can sleep comfortably. Imagine person(s) clinging to the dog mattress like a life raft... :D

2points

averageperson 5 years ago

Where is this store? I want to go there!!!

2points

#8

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

375points

POST

DforDorothy 5 years ago

That is just heartbreaking how bad that little creature wants to escape from there :(

31points

John David Miller 4 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Richard Brown 5 years ago

People don't realize just how smart animals are. I mean look at us. We started off as amoeba with ideas above our station

17points

Sue Hubbard 5 years ago

A LOT of so called humans still have the brains of amoebas'.

4points

Quiet Mystic 5 years ago

If they can figure out how to escape, maybe let them leave?

11points

Thalia Lovering 5 years ago

Zoos are disgusting

9points

Seaside Charlie 5 years ago

Absolutely!

4points

Night Owl 5 years ago

I wonder what happened to the monkey after that

6points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

Holy f**k! The revolution has begun!

6points

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

We have to be on alert. They show first signs of real intelligence and sooner or later we'll be living on a Planet of Apes.

5points

Monday 5 years ago

This...isn't new. They've always been intelligent and have always made and used tools.

14points

NavyDave 5 years ago

Humans are apes.

5points

John Smith 5 years ago

Maybe we are now!

1point

MrTree1779 5 years ago

"The Great Esc-Ape" ...(Yes, I know it's a monkey, as it has a tail. Still good.)

2points

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago (edited)

Good on the monkey... I hope s/he managed to escape. (*imagining the monkey in monkey paradise with all the food and frolics s/he deserves*)

2points

ChinaPandas122 5 years ago

but he won't be able to go anywhere without the proper food and care and i don't think that this place is near the jungle or savannah

0points

Bruno Duarte 5 years ago

What humans do to animals is the proper term of racism

1point

#9

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

338points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

They made a good move, but he was unbelievably naive.

127points

K.Kobayashi 5 years ago

Not naive - just outsmarted by Russian scientists. The listening device was completely passive, with no power supply or active electronics. So when they inspected it, they didn't detect any signals from it. It was powered/activated by radio waves aimed at it from the outside. It was invented by Leon Theremin who also invented the musical instrument named after him.

55points

Troux 5 years ago

This is much easier now, thanks to Tiktok. :D

17points

Jasmine Walker 5 years ago

Ha. Seriously.

3points

HigherthantheSky 5 years ago

Modern Trojan Horse

10points

Miss Cris 5 years ago

Eagle.

4points

Giles McArdell 5 years ago

Famously the device was created by Leon Theremin (creator also of the Theremin musical instrument). It went undetected because it only came on when radio waves were present - it is often hailed as the first ever RFID device.

7points

SanchaTheSeeker 5 years ago

Reminds me of the scene from the office where Dwight gifts Jim a wooden mallard

3points

Sara Fanning 5 years ago

So we’re praising spies now?

2points

Shea Fujishima 5 years ago

Dude, whenever a supposed enemy gives you a gift, check for bombs or other tricks. Seriously, girls learn this in THIRD grade!

2points

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

Oof

1point

Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts.....and geeks bearing grifts.

1point

Thalia Lovering 5 years ago

A Trojan bird!

1point

#10

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

325points

POST

Mama Panda 5 years ago

This is brilliant! I have a cat that likes to sit places she shouldn't be sitting and I am going to try this to get her to stop.

11points

Maryam Siddiqui 5 years ago

XD, the cat be like, what do i do, i dont get this, karen remove this rn!

8points

Val Izhakevich 5 years ago

Easy, furball, just sprinkle that fish... Voila!

3points

Lisa Holman 5 years ago

LMAO! Lemon for the win

2points

Max L. 5 years ago

Checkmate, cat.

2points

i0ana 5 years ago

hahahahah @ cat face!

2points

Trying so hard thinking 5 years ago (edited)

I'm laughing at work XD

2points

Thomas Ewing 5 years ago

Put a cucumber there and see what she does!

2points

elfin Premium 5 years ago

Or course she knows what to do. Knock it off.

1point

Martha Higgins 5 years ago

I'm surprised she didn't swat it off the tank's top.

1point

#11

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

317points

POST

Maryam Siddiqui 5 years ago

yess i dont get it with hieght, i mean i know its good to have some standards but men cant change their hieght, i mean the perfect man could be waiting for u and u wont date him cause he 5'7 or somethin?

181points

Lousha 5 years ago

It's not a job interview. You're trying to find a relationship. Physical attraction is kinda important. It should never be the main or only thing but it has to be there. If you can't get attracted to someone who is shorter than you than there's no point wasting their time. For some it's not important. For others it is. Same as men can't change their height you also can't change your sexual preferences. Lots of men also can't imagine being with a really tall woman. That said it's also true that we tend to overthink it and have too specific ideas about who we could imagine ourselves with.

20points

LittleMissLotus 5 years ago

Honestly, I tried to get past my height preference and date a shorter guy, but in the end it was so awkward it didn't work out. To be fair though, it is kind of cruel to tell a guy you aren't interested because of his height, a simple I'm not interested would've sufficed

17points

Mama Panda 5 years ago

I am 5'11" and I have had that issue for as long as I can remember. I know it sounds shallow but I have always required the men I dated to be my height or taller. I did date shorter men and was teased about taking my kid to the movies or dinner. I love to dance and going dancing was another place that I would get teased. It sucked. I know I shouldn't let it bother me but I am insecure. Also, it felt nice to be able to lay my head on someone's shoulder, feel secure and safe. Being a tall woman is not what it's all cracked up to be so cut us some slack.

13points

CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 years ago

I would date al little person if they are decent and intelligent. DGAF about height.

11points

Bertha Garcia 5 years ago

I think the girl just didn’t want to date him and said something he couldn’t achieve.

8points

blugeagua 5 years ago

Yep, same with men who want specific things in a relationship.

6points

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

I agree, I don’t get it either but each to their own.

5points

Something 5 years ago

It makes sense if she is really tall. It helps for both partners to be at about the same height so they can hear each other.

3points

Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago

Thank you. I knew this girl/woman who continually used "type" as an excuse. She refused to date anyone under 6' (she was only 5'5") and after going through a series of bad relationships, which she went on doing for decades, incl. a failed marriage that lasted 6 yrs., she finally settled with a guy who was about 5'8." That was about 18 yrs ago and she is still with him.

2points

JustAWeirdoGirlChild 5 years ago

yes like girls need to learn that height dont matter like i agree with you

2points

thepinkrobot 5 years ago

yes.

0points

TiaCalenture 5 years ago

There are a lot of short women for them. Men in India are short and they all want tall women. Its like a status thing for them. Men in Asia want women to be tiny, 105lbs or less. Men in America want the Barbie doll. Men in Germany want women with meat on their bones, sturdy. And when all women are over 40 no one wants them.

-2points

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

Who cares about the height when he's that witty?

29points

Ben Smith 5 years ago

Wonder why he'd waste the time...?

14points

Tovah Roche 5 years ago

I'd definitely ignore the height deal beaker for a guy with humorous creativity. Personality and character are far more important than physical features.

8points

Monday 5 years ago (edited)

I admit I'd feel weird dating a shorter guy (I'm 5'2)...but I'm not going to discount someone completely just because they're short. It might take me a while to get used to the idea of dating someone shorter but personality is important too.

7points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Now imagine a guy posting that he only dates women that are without children and weigh less than 165 lbs...

6points

Potato 5 years ago

wouldn't (or shouldn't) be as bad, because those are technically things you can control.

2points

abn_gator 5 years ago

So it's ok for a woman to not be interested in someone because of their height but if a man mentions something about weight, he is insensitive and shallow???

6points

Signe Manat Hansen 5 years ago

No, it's not okay for anyone to be this superficial and phony

6points

Nancy Jeckells 5 years ago

can't help saying that if Tom Cruise didn't want taller women, he wouldn't be dating much

6points

Donny Cromwell 5 years ago

I feel the same why about this as I do about guys complaining about a girl not being skinny enough.

4points

Fact Perils 5 years ago

This is annoying for tall girls because all the short girls take the tall boys. Am I supposed to be with a guy who’s 5 ft shorter than me? At least be my height!

4points

Jace 5 years ago

5 foot SHORTER than you??? What are you 10-11’ ???

0points

#12

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

305points

POST

Al Jones 5 years ago

Kind of funny and kind of smart, yes. But why even bother creating/joining a team if you're tricking teams into not showing up?

111points

Aria Whitaker 5 years ago

Because it is a rather unimportant, amateur softball team that they do for fun in college and they have a sense of humor?

13points

Kelsey Montgomery 5 years ago

This team clearly did not want to play HAHA

4points

Monday 5 years ago

because it's funny?

2points

Max L. 5 years ago

To win the league ?

0points

Edo Alva 5 years ago

to test how dumb people are

0points

SanchaTheSeeker 5 years ago

automatic win

-1point

Katey Thomson 5 years ago

You must be fun at parties

-3points

John Baker 5 years ago

I say, old chap. That's rather unsportsmanlike. ;-)

6points

Henry Cheves 5 years ago

@Miss Cris, Why should that matter? To be honest, guys are much more likely to cheat and be dishonest than girls, speaking as a guy.

0points

GioDesa 5 years ago

Its intramural...its not like you get money if you win. The whole point is to play the game and have fun. Why would you purposely trick teams into not playing? This is dumb

6points

Ben Smith 5 years ago

You SHOULD be hated and kicked out of the league.

6points

Nevits Yibble 5 years ago

This is an old joke I've heard many times over the years. This person is trying to pass it off as something that really happened in their own life. Pretty sure it's made up

5points

LittleMissLotus 5 years ago

That's kinda cruel... People don't really play intramural sports to win or get a prize, they do it for fun, which you sort of took away from them.

5points

Sergio Serg 5 years ago

Dumbest thing ever. You play for fun. Why cancel your own games?

2points

elfin Premium 5 years ago

If you think that everyone hating you is a good thing then you need to reconsider your values.

2points

Stannous Flouride 5 years ago

There was briefly two punk bands in San Francisco called "Free Beer" and "No Cover Charge" but they very quickly were not being booked.

2points

Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago

I think I remember them!

0points

Martin Roy 5 years ago (edited)

There was a steam room called "The Office" in my home town. If your wife called you, you could honestly say you were still at the office.

1point

Jon S. 5 years ago

There was a pub with the same name where I grew up, for the same reason!

1point

#13

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

293points

POST

Eirik Johnsbråten 5 years ago

I actually don't want nudes. Yes, I'm old.

127points

Jaded Queen 5 years ago

I don't understand why people do with nudes. If u r doing things in person. It's okay I get it. But what nudes do. U can get thousands on internet and much better. What do it matters?

18points

Hazel Waring 5 years ago

I don't want nudes. I don't know anyone in my friend group of 25-35 Who does! But I know plenty (inc. Me) who have received the famed unsolicited d**k pic. You're smart and sensible! Not an age thing XD

15points

Scratch 5 years ago

I'm not old and I'd rather not see you in the nude.

7points

Id row 5 years ago

Yeah, I don't get this trend at all. I couldn't imagine sending nude pics of myself to anyone. I couldn't imagine taking them period.

5points

Hugo Raible 5 years ago

Me too. I don't want crappy pictures I can get everywhere on the net. I want to bang. And I think I can guess what's below the dress at that point in my life.

3points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

I don't either. And I don't know how old you are, but I wouldn't consider myself "old" considering I'm still in school and no I don't mean college. This is disgusting.

1point

Daniel Callaway 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Richard Brown 5 years ago

Someone asked me for nudes (asian guy thought I was female) by the 3rd picture he was begging me to stop

22points

Harold Summer 5 years ago

lmao

7points

Vic 5 years ago

Well send back X-ray results, that's as nude as you can get

18points

kurisutofu 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago

I don't either... too old for the electronic swapping of naked bits. Rather meet my date in real life and take them out for a coffee...

4points

JustAWeirdoGirlChild 5 years ago

hahaha oh wow

2points

Jim Price 5 years ago

I once told my wife I wanted to get a vasectomy when she was trying to get pregnant. It did cure her hiccups. Funny thing, though... It only worked once.

2points

Monika Soffronow 5 years ago

Thanks for the laugh

0points

Path of Totality 5 years ago

Idk, this feels fake.

2points

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

He has clearly won this round.

2points

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

That's... disgusting

1point

Jane Alexander 5 years ago

According to most of the comments, No nudes is good nudes?

1point

#14

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

290points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

I wonder how many people fell for this.

155points

Lindsey Judd-Bruder 5 years ago (edited)

Probably a lot. When I was a kid, we had to go door to door selling candy bars, to raise money for our school (ugh). We quickly figured out that we'd sell a whole lot more if, instead of telling people they were 50 cents each, we said "Two for a dollar". Don't miss those days...

7points

Christian Claydon 5 years ago

eyyyyy it u again!

0points

Ian Taggart 5 years ago

More than I would.

0points

Jeff Lefavor Premium 5 years ago

Alot I bet

0points

Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 5 years ago

toooo many

0points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

There's also "Give us your savings for this shiny thing worth absolutely nothing, and if you also mortgage your house we'll even chip some off."

0points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

Billions. Every mealtime.

0points

Will Vega 5 years ago

Everyone who bought 2 burgers.

0points

manon M 5 years ago

Many, many, many 😆😆

0points

Shelp 5 years ago

Two, maybe three...? I doubt people are that stupid

0points

Miss Cris 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Omar Pearson 5 years ago

"I" before "E" except after "C"

17points

Zophra 5 years ago

i can't help always noticing too.

7points

Potato 5 years ago

I before E except for a lot of disqualifying words.

4points

SirPatTheCat 5 years ago

Unless it's weird

0points

Jane QPublique 5 years ago

HAA!HAHahaha! Yep! (My thought, as well).

0points

Peter Kelly 5 years ago

I gather that eating lots of burgers has a detrimental effect on spelling...

2points

WiggleCat 5 years ago

...Waaaait .. xD Now I want to know how many people fell for this :D

1point

Harrison Gerry 5 years ago

Too bad they spelt receive incorrectly

1point

Andy Mutch 5 years ago

i before e except after c

1point

Amy Singleton 5 years ago

Receive ....spelling correction...you're welcome

1point

Laura Lawson 5 years ago

*receive

0points

Sarah Trachtenberg 5 years ago

This is a pretty old joke. I saw it in MAD magazine over 30 years ago. :)

0points

Eloisa Hilton 5 years ago

Only an IDIOT will go for that!!

0points

#15

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

276points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

You have to expect dad replying with a dad joke.

84points

blugeagua 5 years ago

Bee really funny if it was mom saying that. Mom jokes exist too but no one talks about that.

2points

Sawdust 5 years ago

Do you think he bought the bee suit just to use that joke? :-)

8points

Catlady6000 5 years ago

I would

0points

Ben Smith 5 years ago

Dad joke!

5points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

*you're

1point

Carolyn McCully 5 years ago

That Dad joke only cost $39.99 - totally worth it!

0points

Eloisa Hilton 5 years ago

Your words don't mean anything to Dad because nothing will sting him since he got a BEE suit!!

0points

Max L. 5 years ago

Indeed everyone have friends who just like buy things online, only because they’re sold online. Comic book collections, just to name one.

0points

Lydia Coy 5 years ago

Ok thats taking 2020 a notch too far neil Armstrong 😅

0points

Bob Belcher 5 years ago

Checkmate

0points

#16

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

272points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

McDonalds losing this trademark was a case of hypocrisy. They tried to ban the company supermac's from using their similar sounding name but couldn't prove their case and lost their entire trademark in return.

130points

Iggy 5 years ago

It served them right. A giant multinational corporation went after a much, much smaller brand in one country and got burned. Gave me a giggle.

47points

Stannous Flouride 5 years ago

They nearly lost their trademark in the UK because they were trying to bully a tiny London restaurant's use of the phrase "McVegan" for one of their veggie burger sandwiches. Use of the name of any Scottish clan is subject to the clan's approval and had the Lord Godfrey MacDonald, head of the MacDonald Clan of Scotland chosen to, he could have stopped them using their name entirely. They dropped their suit.

18points

Shea Fujishima 5 years ago

Now that's funny!

16points

oddkiddo 5 years ago

Maybe trademarks as a whole are hypocrisy.

0points

Jurs 5 years ago

"not big mac's". can somebody explain why there is an epidemic in English-speaking countries to use an appstrophe with plural?

10points

ClaireM 5 years ago

Here in the UK there was a long period of not really teaching grammar in schools. I got all the way to completing my degree having no clue what something as simple as an adjective or an adverb was! They now teach a lot of grammar in schools again. This is known as a 'greengrocers apostrophe'.

12points

Candia Lee 4 years ago

It's not plural. Read it as a possessive.

0points

Hollysmom 5 years ago

The line is a heading for all of those burgers so, the plural would be correct

0points

MrTree1779 5 years ago

Anyone else notice the misplaced apostrophe in "Not Big Mac's" and think "This means that someone named Big Mac doesn't own something."

8points

Stephen Lyford 5 years ago

Not Big Mac's what? #punctuationmatters

4points

Joshua Seaman 5 years ago

burgers. Not his burgers.

0points

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

Lol "like a big mac but actually big"

2points

Martha Higgins 5 years ago

And their grammar is bad. "Not Big Macs" is the proper form, no apostrophe is needed, it's plural, not possessive

2points

Candia Lee 4 years ago

It can be read as a possessive. After all, it is a joke.

0points

Id row 5 years ago

Petty af and I love it.

1point

Jace 5 years ago

There’s no apostrophe when writing plurals!!!!! For f**k’s sake!!!

1point

Paul Jordan 5 years ago

I f**k'sing agrees's with's you's.

1point

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago

I don't eat at fast food places very often but in my nearly twenty years in the UK, the handful of times I've been to Burger King have been very disappointing. Put me off ever going again.

1point

Jon S. 5 years ago

I agree wholeheartedly

0points

starhunter64 5 years ago

this is beautiful

0points

#17

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

269points

POST

Vic 5 years ago

If you are emailing the doc, just pray the teacher does not decide to select all and check.

80points

Val Izhakevich 5 years ago

...or do it in the footnotes.

15points

Woets 5 years ago

No teacher has the time to do that, trust me

4points

Mary 5 years ago

Send it as pdf 😁

0points

Bob Belcher 5 years ago

I tell people to do this with their resumes. In the footnotes type in a bunch of business jargon related to your line of work. Most large companies use HR software that search for buzz words to pull possible interview candidates. Change the text color to white and set font size to 1.

5points

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

That’s pretty clever, especially since teachers don’t have the time to count every word on everyones essays.

4points

Dynein 5 years ago

They CAN, however, select all and turn the text color to black. The above advice has been around for years...

10points

Jayne Kyra 5 years ago

I prioritize original thought and idea over word count (character count is what I prefer anyway). Original idea, but not to length? Fantastic! Over the length and copied? 1 chance to redo, then a 5 (F).

4points

danielw 5 years ago

they don't have to count every word. Every document suite I've used, has a word count tool that lists out how man pages, paragraphs, sentences, words, and characters you've used. Libre Office has a infobox at the bottom so you don't even have to pull a menu up.

0points

Mascha Claessens 5 years ago

...and people (students) really think teachers don't know about these moves? :') I ALWAYS check.

3points

John Smith 5 years ago

Is this... a double meme?

2points

Celeste Grant 5 years ago

Teachers know this, and also know what a 700 word essay looks like, give or take. If the essay looks a few lines shorter than it should be then we do check. One of the reasons for asking for all essays to be formatted in the same way is that it's more noticeable.

1point

QueenoftheSquids 5 years ago

I did this in a science exam

1point

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

Word count will count it. Hopefully teacher doesn't notice.

0points

Charlie Meehan 5 years ago

A smol problemo with this is that u can still highlight the words so if there’s other writing on the doc and the teacher highlights ur s**t to see how much you’ve written ur screwed

0points

Bradford Johnson 5 years ago

i am, somehow at the same time, upset i didnt think about this in college and glad to know people are smarter than me.

0points

#18

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

253points

POST

Daniel H. 5 years ago

This is from a Swedish cartoonist called Jan Stenmark. His humor is very specific. I find him hilarious but a lot of people don't. I would recommend checking him out.

96points

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago (edited)

Cool! Will do... just saw one Google result referring to Mr Stenmark as a "Swedish Drawer" LOL Wonder what model he is at IKEA? A Malm, perhaps?

17points

Tivoli 5 years ago

Look for Jeroom. He's a famous Belgian cartoonist with similar humor if u're interested

7points

manon M 5 years ago

Thanks you for the references too

3points

Shelp 5 years ago

Thanks for the reference! I'll check him out.

3points

Monika Soffronow 5 years ago

https://www.absolutart.com/se/artist/jan-stenmark/artwork/one-day-we-will-all-die/

1point

Vic 5 years ago

Neal is a genius!

4points

Ruby White 2 years ago

NEEEEEAAAAAAAALLL YOU LEEEEEGGGGGGEEEEEEENNNNNDDDDD

0points

Brady Wang 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago

could anyone explain the joke? i honestly dont understand it

0points

pepper 2015 5 years ago

Did not get this. What does this mean?

0points

Monday 5 years ago

Bully: "HA NERD! YOU HAVE GLASSES!". Neal: ... *Bully steals Neal's glasses* Neal: "HA NERD! YOU HAVE GLASSES!".

10points

#19

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

249points

POST

Maryam Siddiqui 5 years ago

do ppls parents actually do this!!??(also that was great payback😉)

108points

Malakai 5 years ago

Yup. My parents did it when I was little. They also smashed all my rock and metal CDs. 20 years later, I'm still screaming FFF***********CCCCCCCCKKK to my favorite metal bands 😂

38points

Chewie Baron Premium 5 years ago

I had it done to me when I was about 8 years old when I was wrongly accused of taking £10 (which in 1982 was an absolute fortune back then!). I vomited everywhere which they had to cleanup. And yeah, they were absolute bastards.

22points

Jace 5 years ago

My mother did this to me as a child. She also smashed an ice cream cone into my face because I was dripping ice cream. She also whipped my a*s with a belt for innocently touching a bird egg in a nest on my bedroom window outer ledge. Then there’s the psychological abuse... I’m 44 now (with various types of emotional scars from parents and elsewhere). It may seem “old fashioned” and “primitive” (it IS primitive), but I don’t think all parents have stopped with the corporal punishment these days...

10points

Kenny Kulbiski 5 years ago

Yes. It was long ago and it didn't stop me from swearing but it gave me a lifetime hatred of cilantro.

8points

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

Yes, my mum did it once. Tasted absolutely disgusting and took ages to wash it all out.

5points

BobbyK 5 years ago (edited)

YES! My mother did this to me. And she did it with KIRK brand soap (our last name is Kirk). That was the final insult to injury.

2points

Stille20 5 years ago

... I'm going to guess that it gives you severe diarrhea and stomach pain... is it worth it?

2points

Brittania Kelli 5 years ago

Yup, a couple of times. It was better than the wooden paddle that had a heart carved on it. Kids seriously have it so much easier.

1point

Nia Loves Art 5 years ago

It’s an old school thing. My grandmother did it to my dad when he was little. Traditionally it would have been done with bar soap though which doesn’t seem like it would be as risky.

1point

Leesa DeAndrea 5 years ago

My mom did it to my brother. It made him vomit. She never did it again. That was a long time ago when abusing your children was widespread & acceptable, late 1950s.

1point

MAnahP 5 years ago

Yep. I got dishwashing liquid in my mouth.

1point

Susann Campbell 5 years ago

Yes. Three plus me can vouch for that.

1point

Ian Taggart 5 years ago

If mine ever did this to me, I'd certainly swallow it. But yes, it is real.

1point

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

My mum would make me give those kind of punishments to myself. And I did it... But, then, eating gross stuff was fun as a kid, too. I remember doing that with my brother just for fun. My sons used to play a game of it: taking turns at making the weirdest, grossest concoction and the other (and cousins and friends) had to eat it. They told me that the younger one when playing this in their cubby house once when he was maybe 6 weed in his shoe, and he and his cousin tasted it. Fun times. Memories for life.

1point

Courtney Christelle 5 years ago

My grandma use to do that when my cousin's swore and my mom did once or twice but never to me.

1point

Beli Keshini 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

Blackheart 5 years ago

Yes, they do.

0points

Turd_Man59 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Nevits Yibble 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Omar Pearson 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

cassiushumanmother 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Ben Smith 5 years ago

Good on you. Moronic parents

9points

Anna Neemus 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago

is this illegal now? its a bit risky doing this becuase soap isnt exactly safe to swallow

7points

Nia Loves Art 5 years ago

It’s not outright illegal but there was a case where a little girl died and the mother was charged. Doing it is putting yourself at risk of legal action if anything goes wrong.

2points

Signe Manat Hansen 5 years ago

Wow, you guys have awful parents

5points

Paul SD 5 years ago

Went to a private boarding school. When I was about 12, two of us were caught swearing by a cleaner and she told the headmaster. He put us in the annex and we sat there with a bar of soap in our mouths. After only two minutes it starts dissolving, and it very quickly becomes a mouthful of mushy soap. I had ulcers in my mouth for weeks. As soon as the head mistress heard about it, she came and stopped it. You could see she was not happy about it. That headmaster was old fashioned and really sucked up to the posh kids and their parents. I hated him. Inadvertently taught me to be a better person and not a social snob.

3points

Charlotte Anderson [STUDENT] 5 years ago

My grandparents would do this to my mom but instead of soap they would wash it out with hot sauce. And one of my uncles liked it so they had to change the soap!

2points

Jessica 5 years ago

Soap or hot sauce! Idk why it matters tho I cuss like a sailor still!!

2points

Susun Wilson 5 years ago

I was youngest of brother & 3 cousins, when in trouble my uncle gave me a glycerin soap, others regular. Not great, but it wasn't as bad as the boys, elders had! Still my favorite uncle!

1point

Lisa Holman 5 years ago

I've definitely heard of parents doing this, but mine never did, thank goodness. When my kid cussed accidentally in front of me at 15 yo, I just laughed.

1point

Blackheart 5 years ago

I call BS on this. Only because once, my dog ate a bar of soap. When I called the vet, they said not to worry it was fairly harmless, but would cause diarrhea. Also, this is an age old practice, and no one I know has ever gotten $5000 hospital sick from it.

1point

Anna Neemus 5 years ago

Dogs are different from humans, honey. It causes Diarrhea, vomitting blood, throat burns, vision loss, mouth/throat swelling, etc. bad idea

1point

#20

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

244points

POST

Madison Feehan 5 years ago

I wish for a million more wishes....

45points

Colin Allcars 5 years ago

Rules prevent that from working. Instead, wish for infinite quarters and a magic wishing well.

12points

Todd Newton 5 years ago

You can't wish for more wishes. But you CAN wish for more genies!

7points

Lydia Coy 5 years ago

You can't do that thats a Scooby dont

4points

Id row 5 years ago

Better off wishing for infinity wishes. Why put a limit on it?

2points

Ian Taggart 5 years ago

I wish for another genie.

0points

fuggnuggins 5 years ago

The wishes would not go to you. Nor anyone. Wishes are just a trope of morality. So you have neither.

-1point

Hugh Fokker 5 years ago

Genie: You get 3 wishes. Me: I wish you confused addition and Subtraction. Genie: You have 4 wishes remaining.

4points

Quiet Mystic 5 years ago

You will not outsmart a genie...or a leprachaun.

4points

Vic 5 years ago

Didn't see that one coming, did they...

4points

Potato 5 years ago

Well that backfired.

2points

Jack Candy 5 years ago

After two wishes I'd wish another genie with three wishes. And so on ...

0points

Colleen 5 years ago

Careful what you wish for...Tricky Genie in Twight Zone grants wisher world peace. Genie kills ALL the people.

0points

Eloisa Hilton 5 years ago

Goes to show how terrible the Genie is at MATH!!

0points

David K 5 years ago

What if I asked for infinite wishes? :-)

0points

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

This shot went backwards.

0points

#21

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

240points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

It definitively broke for the better.

71points

Vic 5 years ago

Now change your ringtone to the sound of a light saber..

23points

Jasmine Walker 5 years ago

I hope this person has that! Omg that would be so dope!

10points

ISAAC HARVEY 5 years ago

Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

10points

Reagan J 5 years ago

The force is strong in that one... very strong

3points

Tim Smith 5 years ago

That must have taken some force to break.

2points

Scagsy 5 years ago

There has been a grave disturbance in the Force

2points

Jace 5 years ago

That seems painful to look at.

1point

Isabella Vega 5 years ago

Sweet!

0points

MantisKeeper 5 years ago

looks cool

0points

Id row 5 years ago

Or you could get a superior Android phone instead of a shi**y iPhone.

0points

#22

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

225points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

This gave me an idea for my own funeral. May I'll add knocking sounds.

84points

Lauren Caswell 5 years ago

My friend said she'd like "pop goes the weasel" played menacingly slowly, potentially with a crank on the coffin XD

20points

Shea Fujishima 5 years ago

I'm leaving a clause in my will asking to of my younger cousins to dress up as Grim Reapers and greet everyone at the door.

9points

averageperson 5 years ago

Actually, that's exactly what this guy did. Complete with curse words.

4points

Hannah M 5 years ago

That's actually morbidly insensitive and cruel, but also hilarious

11points

Quiet Mystic 5 years ago

If he's irish, i wouldn't be surprised. I am proud!

5points

nettie netwitch 5 years ago

He was Irish. I saw the video on YouTube. 🍀

1point

PhantomBuni 5 years ago

He probably died laughing thinking about it.

2points

Lydia Coy 5 years ago

Id be there

1point

Ruby White 2 years ago

Thats horrible! I'm deathly scared of being buried alive!😰

0points

Daniel Krasimirov Hadzhiev Imamov 3 years ago

dead joke bro :|

0points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

This is HILARIOUS! I love this! I would tell all my grieving family, of course, but my friends and any funeral workers or family members I don't like will be terrified!

0points

Patty Stier 5 years ago

That would clear out a room in a loud screaming nano-second!

0points

Colleen 5 years ago

I watched a video about death practices (not the title) and the history behind bells that were attached to the corpses to ring if they were buried alive. Thought it would be funny to have a bell attached to the headstone that would ring with the blowing of the wind.

0points

#23

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

222points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

Now, this was an unexpected move.

56points

Lydia Coy 5 years ago

Oof

1point

Mama Panda 5 years ago

Mike Wazowski looks weird with 2 eyes!

1point

GalaxyMoo 5 years ago

It's Sullys face

3points

Eloisa Hilton 5 years ago

At a loss for words!!

0points

Melissa Oreskovic 5 years ago

But he definitely knows the numbers ;)

0points

#24

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

198points

POST

Madison Feehan 5 years ago

Make it a million!

43points

Path of Totality 5 years ago

Let's all take a moment to appreciate Rick here's brilliant sense of humor.

3points

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

Make it five...

2points

Hallak65 5 years ago

This is illogical. If you have 3 wishes, and you wish 4, then you lose 1 wish and you have 2 then your lost wish granted so you will have 4.

1point

Aragorn II Elessar 5 years ago

You must be fun at parties

4points

Ula 5 years ago

he wished 4 instead of 3 in the first place, so 3 left.

0points

Kimberly 5 years ago

But he's asking for 4 in total not to add 4 so if he used one to get the 4 he's down to 3 more

0points

Eloisa Hilton 5 years ago

You NEVER did get the 4th!!

0points

Grimm Justice 5 years ago

Wish for a genie that grants a million wishes

0points

backatya 5 years ago

Shouldn't it be - you have 2 left. He used one up already asking for 4 wishes.

0points

Ben Raines 5 years ago

💡

0points

Lisa Holman 5 years ago

Doh!

0points

Sel Bonda 5 years ago

Win-win sit!

0points

Sage 5 years ago

If you can add wishes, why stop at 4?

0points

backatya 5 years ago

Because it doesn't work that way. That's why the genie only offers 3. All you do is ask 1. for a billion tax free dollars. 2. Good health all your life. 3. And all the sexy young women you want.

0points

#25

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

192points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

bahaha, that would suck big time but it is so creative.

91points

Potato 5 years ago

Reminds me of the woman who thought she won a Toyota and got a toy Yoda. True story. Wonder if it's on this list.

12points

Michael Hill 5 years ago

Sounds like she bought from WISH.

5points

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

Despite the joke we can make about this it is fraud.

4points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

You win by a technicality XD

1point

Adam C 5 years ago

Boss said "Cut 3, 4 apples".. My brother cut 7. He got fired.

1point

that boi 5 years ago

the iphone 3 and 4 cost a lot more then the iphone 7 XD

0points

Brady Wang 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

RavenBurst TV 5 years ago

-1 because that's not how fusion works. He should have synchronize them instead :D

0points

Thomas Turnbull 5 years ago

I stopped looking after here as the outstanding message got too annoying

0points

#26

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

191points

POST

Maryam Siddiqui 5 years ago

wait is it biting her or hugging her hand.

70points

John Smith 5 years ago

It's a genius move. Hugging the arm to get close, and then in one sudden moment... Snap.

37points

Parmeisan 5 years ago

Yes.

17points

Bill 5 years ago

He's hugging her hand with his claws and teef

12points

Laura Gastelum 5 years ago

Does it matter? Either way the cat WINS

10points

Empyrus 5 years ago

Yes

7points

Thalia Lovering 5 years ago

Both

4points

sbj 5 years ago

Kitty is saying '' sorry, I no do it again I promise'' , If the cat had fingers they'd be crossed right now

3points

Craymoss 5 years ago

Yes

1point

Mer☕️🧭☕️ 5 years ago

Yes.

1point

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

oof truth

1point

Lisa Holman 5 years ago

Feline slam dunk. He had it coming.

1point

Bored Birgit 5 years ago

You will never outsmart a cat.

1point

Diana Dodd 5 years ago

Ahhhhhhhh🥰

0points

Eloisa Hilton 5 years ago

Cat will LICK you!!

0points

bpanther 5 years ago

Aww...

0points

Ben Raines 5 years ago

Mine does this!

0points

Jace 5 years ago

Yup

0points

#27

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

189points

POST

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

I was curious and decided to google why a school would ban bags and apparently it was for health and safety reasons. The students were expected to just carry their books in their arms instead.

102points

Freya_is_bored 5 years ago

Oh my god that would be annoying. I carry around my text books and writing books for all of my subjects as well as a pencil case and water bottle and my lunch. I wouldn't be able to without a bag. My mum always says I'll break my back because it's to heavy. We do have lockers but they're always to far away from classes to get to between lessons and they're tiny. I can't imagine having to carry everything.

33points

Dippin Dot 5 years ago

After Columbine my high school banned any "non transparent" bags. That lasted all of a semester. My son (12) is in middle school and lasts year his locker was on the opposite side of the building from his classes and couldn't carry a backpack, so he carried his books in a plastic bin. It was the only way he could carry all of his books and avoid getting in trouble for being late to his classes for going to his locker to swap out books.

17points

Madison Feehan 5 years ago (edited)

Yeah I'm a student who has 12 new textbooks every single year to pile through (plus notebooks & laptop & binders of completed work). They're all over 800 pages and I certainly wouldn't be carrying them in my arms!

15points

Nomadus Aureus 5 years ago (edited)

Would work awesomly in my country where we don't have lockers and are expected to carry a combo of book+work book+notebook for all of our classes of which we have 8 + extracurriculars per day....

9points

Adam Guillemette 5 years ago

There was a similar story with a school in the UK. They took down the actual WALL to the girls bathroom, making stalls, sinks etc visible to the entire student body. They justified it as being for 'safety' reasons, if I recall correctly. It was St. Mary's College if you wanted to read up on it.

4points

kjorn 5 years ago

i guess it's america so…. guns

4points

Path of Totality 5 years ago

Wow, that's a ridiculous expectation. My school doesn't have lockers so I have to carry textbooks, notebooks, writing utensils, all my volleyball gear, lunch, and my multitude of art supplies around. Carrying it in my arms wouldn't even be doable.

3points

Ula 5 years ago

Crazy...

2points

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Can't be an American school, because they would go bust on legal claims for taking away the last line of defense, bulletproof schoolbags, from their pupils....

2points

Megan D 5 years ago

Where I went to high school was like this and we had to buy drawstring backpacks from the school! They were basically useless because books don't fit in it. It was clearly just a way for the school to make money... I think that most people had to go to their locker to grab books for the next class when you only have a 5 minute break!

2points

LaWanda Nepstad 5 years ago

That's what we did when I was in school. Never had any kind of book bag or backpack.

2points

Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago

The health reason might be to body build....big arms carrying around a few text books.

1point

PhantomBuni 5 years ago

Smacking someone with a microwave whilst turned on will give them radiation poisoning (comedic license), but right right, let’s hit them with the unstuffed pillowcase with straps

1point

Evil Little Thing 5 years ago

It's to prevent students from bringing in weapons.

1point

Lauren Elise 5 years ago

My school did that. Stupidest thing ever. Everyone was always late because we had to switch books every period. They then said "switch at lunch". We had too many books to carry so we just continued being late. Let's just say my teachers were very frustrated and so was everyone else except for the administrators

1point

PurplePringle 5 years ago

It's so that students can't conceal weapons or anything harmful.

1point

Daniel Callaway 4 years ago

We all did that as a normal thing back in the day. It wont kill you, but you need to plan your classes and what books are in your locker and what you carry. Going to be a test to see if you can think on your own or just whine like a little baby. Again, >>>>>> IT WON,T KILL YOU!!!!

0points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

In my school it is the complete opposite. Before we had to carry all our books. Now, since we can't go to pur lockers as much because of COVID, we can carry our books in our bookbag. This is very funny though. Although, he could have brought a box instead of a microwave.

0points

Truth Monster 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Dele Delizia 5 years ago

So I just wear my tampons as earrings?

10points

Blackheart 5 years ago

Yes, please do!

1point

David Jeu 5 years ago

USA is so funked up

6points

Blackheart 5 years ago

Who said it was USA? Prejudiced much?

3points

Jon S. 5 years ago

This story is from the UK

1point

Laura Gastelum 5 years ago

You have no idea

0points

Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago

thats a really dumb rule. banning school bags? next theyll ban pencil cases :I

3points

Tovah Roche 5 years ago (edited)

Not really. It's usually for safety reasons.I attended an alternative school in which about 80% of the students were juvenile delinquents (not me). Half of them were on probation. Because a majority of the students enjoyed committing crimes, there were a ton of rules to protect staff and students. Security was very strict with enforcing the rules. We weren't allowed to have bags, writing materials, or keys. The school provided paper, pens, and pencils. Our keys had to be deposited into a plastic container before we went through the metal detectors and a staff member would hand them back at the end of the day. Also, we were only allowed to wear flat shoes because a girl used the heel of her stilettos as a weapon during a fight.

3points

Jace 5 years ago

Perfect example of society trying to treat the symptoms instead of the causes. F**k.

2points

Lucy Hollings 5 years ago

Has no-one heard of pockets? It wouldn't exactly be difficult to conceal weapons in your clothing. What about tighter gun legislation?

1point

𝓴𝓪𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓲_𝓐𝓾𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔂 💖 5 years ago

Lol that's great

0points

Randy Klefbeck 5 years ago

Sorry everyone, I don't know why my reply appeared under nearly everyone's post.

0points

Mare Freed 5 years ago

All of those heavy schoolbooks could easily fit on one light tablet.

0points

The Hufflepuff Bookworm 5 years ago

Wow. That is amazing

0points

#28

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

171points

POST

Ben Smith 5 years ago

Old bay is amazing. I use it nearly everyday

52points

JesT 5 years ago

Look for Herr's Old Bay Potato chips, sooo good

5points

mph seti 5 years ago

It's good on veggies too. I went to college in Baltimore, and ever since I always need a can of it in my pantry.

4points

Kitsune Fox Girl 5 years ago

my mom puts it on Veggie Straws smh

2points

Mama Panda 5 years ago

Yep I use it on just about everything I cook.

1point

Nevits Yibble 5 years ago

Yesssss! Great stuff

1point

Id row 5 years ago

I don't know how people use that stuff, the smell alone makes me nauseous.

0points

Blackheart 5 years ago

Love it! Had a vegan friend once who "freed a chicken" from a chicken farm. I told her that chicken was then subject to countless predators, and could even be hit by a car.

4points

John Doe AKA "READ MY DAMN COMMENT OR REPLY BEFORE YOU DISLIKE!" 5 years ago

How did that petition to label PETA as a hate group go?

4points

WiggleCat 5 years ago

Anyone who trolls PETA is awesome in my eyes xD

3points

Graham Plested 5 years ago

says PETA who would rather kill an animal than try and rehome it.

3points

Bacony 5 years ago

And their leader, Inbred Newcrack or something, said she'd actively try to kill pitbulls.

0points

Sage 5 years ago

Maryland My Maryland. Where Old Bay goes on literally everything. I once had old bay ice cream, it was.... interesting

3points

Blackheart 5 years ago

Ewwwwww!

1point

WilvanderHeijden 5 years ago

Peta is just the last organisation that has any right to claim that they are against animals suffering. They are America's greatest killer of healthy animals and their CEO Ingrid Newkirk is the most creepy human being in the world. Her opinion is that no one should have pets and therefor it's justified to kill all pets that Peta can get their hands on. " It would be lovely if we stopped this whole notion of pets altogether."

3points

MrTree1779 5 years ago

Extremism comes in many forms. But it identifies itself through it's absolute rejection of anything which questions the vilification of its opponents. If your viewpoint labels your opposition as "pure evil" and advocates violent (re-)action, then you're very likely an extremist.

2points

Bacony 5 years ago

PeTA makes Monsanto look like Waluigi.

1point

Celeste Grant 5 years ago

Whilst I agree it's a strange idea (one I totally disagree with,) I can't see that this is creepier than people who are rapists, serial killers, child molesters, terrorists etc

-3points

Jace 5 years ago

That’s... sad and sociopathic.

1point

Stannous Flouride 5 years ago

When I was destitute I frequently ate pasta with nothing but Old Bay & olive oil. I'm doing okay now but very once in a while it's a nostalgic treat.

1point

DC 5 years ago

... f****d up...

1point

#29

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

171points

POST

Vic 5 years ago

If you copy from one source it's plagiarism, if you copy from multiple it's research..

91points

alwaysMispelled 5 years ago

Nope. If you copy without giving credit, it's plagiarism. If you cite your sources, it's research.

26points

Pamela24 5 years ago

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. (Yes, I get it's a joke. And yes, I'm no fun at parties. Just have been living with a PhD student for too long.)

20points

K.Kobayashi 5 years ago

Nope. It's plagiarism when you copy from a source and pretend you didn't.

9points

TheWitchNaru 5 years ago

We were taught to reword our research & use quotation marks.

6points

elfin Premium 5 years ago

As long as you credit the sources.

2points

𝓴𝓪𝔀𝓪𝓲𝓲_𝓐𝓾𝓭𝓻𝓮𝔂 💖 5 years ago

Yep.

0points

RavenBurst TV 5 years ago

and one course non of the PhD students nows about Wilson Mizner

0points

F. H. 5 years ago

Of course it isn't research then, it's how plagiarism in science is usually done. It's much too obvious if your just steal from one source.

-1point

mph seti 5 years ago

If you're not using Wikipedia to find some sources for papers, you're doing it wrong. But yeah, never cite "Wikipedia" as a source in and of itself.

3points

Jon S. 5 years ago

This comment has been deleted.

0points

F. H. 5 years ago

That's the absolute right thing to do actually. You can also see if the article itself is more likely to be relyable or not.

3points

Potato 5 years ago

I do this with everything, not just the wiki. Always go straight to the source. Quote someone who's quoting someone else and eventually it becomes a game of telephone.

3points

alwaysMispelled 5 years ago

Using Wikipedia's sources is really just using its bibliography.

3points

Ula 5 years ago

And a good way to use it, that's what the sources are for

1point

CrunChewy McSandybutt 5 years ago

This is precisely how I got through university.

2points

lara 5 years ago

In academia the rule of thumb, more than three words and you MUST cite it. Otherwise it IS plagarism.

1point

lara 5 years ago

Even if it was YOUR OWN WORK.

1point

Quiet Mystic 5 years ago

Woooow!!! Now THAT IS an outstanding move!

1point

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

My teacher actually encourages looking at wikipedia's sources.

0points

Ann Abdelzaher 5 years ago

Must admit I did that a time or two looked something up on wikipedia then grabbed their sources to look it up myself :D

0points

Karen Teed 5 years ago

But wait.... If you're using their sources? Uh .. you're still using Wikipedia.

0points

#30

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

157points

POST

Anne 5 years ago

so now he only eats dominos?

63points

earringnut 5 years ago

Pizza hut is far better than Domino's. Almost anything is better than pizza hut, but not Domino's.

11points

ebony1k124 touch 5 years ago

Which is worse.

1point

Flame Phoenix 5 years ago

Yea, the deal quickly toppled though

1point

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

Outstanding move

0points

Jessica 5 years ago

Let's never forget that Papa John is a racist. Cover your cough not your eyes to racism.

4points

Jasmine Walker 5 years ago

That a sick line Jessica. You got that!!

2points

ChinaPandas122 5 years ago

who is papa john?

0points

Felicity Lemon 5 years ago

How is it rasist?

0points

Lauren Elise 5 years ago

Sir, charge your damn phone

3points

Sarah McManus 5 years ago

The 5% battery makes me really uncomfortable 😐😂

2points

Unnamed Hooman 4 years ago

Bro 5% battery at 12:59 pm? You need a charger…

0points

Quiet Mystic 5 years ago

Game ON!!!

0points

#31

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

153points

POST

Madison Feehan 5 years ago

Same here

37points

Oskar vanZandt 5 years ago

I'm okay with dying in my sleep... not any time soon, but when the time comes.

5points

ChinaPandas122 5 years ago

i would like die peacefully and thinking "yay i dying"

0points

DKS 001 5 years ago

unless you work the night shift and you're awake

2points

Jace 5 years ago

What is this b******t? Weakest...? nonsense.

1point

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

Talk about REM cycles! XD

1point

Dianethe Dinosaur 5 years ago

So I'm saving my own life by staying up past 4am? I knew it!

0points

Mary Nelson 5 years ago

i work midnight shift. i take my break at 3:10. so now i will be nervous during break.....great......

0points

danielw 5 years ago

To quote Second Hand Lions, I want to go out with my boots on. after 75-80, it might be a good time to take up all those hobbies I currently use 'YOLO' as a very good reason to stay away from.

0points

Bumble 5 years ago

A great thing to read before sleepy time. Cheers!

0points

#32

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

152points

POST

firu 5 years ago

Uno reverse.

10points

MrTree1779 5 years ago

"My great-grandfather was once bitten by a rattlesnake. After three days of intense pain, the snake died." - Cmdr Will Riker, 'Star Trek TNG' (1989) uicnmf5ogs...b90bab.jpg

7points

kjorn 5 years ago

so basically Chuck Norris

5points

Evelína Zlá 5 years ago

Haha... I bet it was him...

1point

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

So the cobra was allergic to man?

3points

Quiet Mystic 5 years ago

Dude is too awesome for earth.

3points

ebony1k124 touch 5 years ago (edited)

Was it Bear Grylls?

1point

Reagan J 5 years ago

Poor snakie

1point

marlene 5 years ago

and he'll do it again

1point

Adam C 5 years ago

haha

1point

Patty Stier 5 years ago

And Mama said nothing good would happen if you never brushed your germ encrusted nasty teeth! Bet the man was single!

0points

#33

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

150points

POST

Vic 5 years ago

And they are dumb enough to fall for that! It's a win!

95points

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

To fuggnuggins: Having a different opinion and denying a fact that masks make you less likely to spread a virus are not the same thing. To XianJaguar: That mask is not useless. You could still be asymptomatic. And then die from it. That is how the virus works. Also, it doesn't help much, but it can help very slightly in keeping the virus away from you. If you are so "high risk" you should research what a risk you are at. Your are an idiot. Or at least trying to sound smart aboit things you know nothing about. I am at a low risk, have tested negative, and an probably younger than you unless you're in school and seem to know more about the virus than you.

0points

XianJaguar 5 years ago

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fuggnuggins 5 years ago

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chi-wei shen 5 years ago

There are a lot of these masks and it seems they work. People who spend a lot of money for such masks are wearing them.

6points

Dan Buczynski 5 years ago

Trumpers hate to be called stupid. And yet...

5points

Gina Babe 5 years ago

There's just so much material! They make it so easy!

2points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

How to make idiots work for you!

3points

Ginny Weasley 5 years ago

:o wow... genius!!!

1point

PhantomBuni 5 years ago

Ladies, ladies! They are on the cool kid train now, let’s give them our best elbow bumps not our socially distanced thumbs down

0points

elfin Premium 5 years ago

Or you could write "MAGA" on it and imply the same thing.

0points

Michael Se 5 years ago

This. Is. Brilliant! Mass market these!

0points

DC 5 years ago

If the antimaskers die, we can make masks out of them. Then they're good for at least one thing in their life ... well, after their life, but still, they'd be useful one time - more than they'd be without being made into masks...

0points

Animal lover❤ 5 years ago

Let's just hope this gets them to wear maaks

0points

#34

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

149points

POST

Eirik Johnsbråten 5 years ago

Yes, but it'll only last half as long.

59points

Eirik Johnsbråten 5 years ago

Actually, I think I'm wrong. You're putting the two batteries in parallel, so the voltage would be doubled. It's also specified as using 3V. So one battery will only produce 1.5V, which apparently is enough to turn the lights on but probably not enough to run the thing with a stable connection.

11points

Charlie Meehan 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Omar Pearson 5 years ago

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Alex Wilding 5 years ago

This would work, but so would simply putting in a single battery without going in diagonally.

1point

TheExtremeSmell 5 years ago

The switch is set to light, not on. Will need more power to work.

1point

DanieLegz 5 years ago

Tin foil

1point

sbj 5 years ago

No, all contacts must be made for the circuit to work

1point

alwaysMispelled 5 years ago

But it's still only touching ONE of the contacts??

1point

David Jeu 5 years ago

Need more volts to work

1point

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

Would this actually work?

1point

Radek Suski 5 years ago

No

3points

Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago

Would that REALLY work?

1point

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

At first I thought they were an idiot and was wondering how that was an "outstanding move".

0points

#35

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

142points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago (edited)

Now we all can clap on our own shoulders.

40points

K.Kobayashi 5 years ago

Nope, the article has 3 external cites just for this one sentence.

4points

Mark Johanen 5 years ago

"Most popular" is an objective fact. If they have statistics showing that it is indeed the most popular, then that's a perfectly reasonable thing to say about yourself. If the heavyweight champion of the world says "I'm the heavyweight champion of the world", that's not an idle boast. It's a fact. If they had said "the best", that would be a self-aggrandizing opinion.

1point

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

I hate wikipedia. I wish I could ahut it down.

0points

ChinaPandas122 5 years ago

wow wikipedia i never thought you were so ......

0points

lara 5 years ago

If any student of mine ever used wikicrap I would flunk them.

0points

#36

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

141points

POST

Ilya Ditkovskiy 5 years ago

*c***s a magnum* magic missile

48points

Flare 5 years ago

*Aims tank* Cannon on wheels

7points

Mama Panda 5 years ago

Haha, this reminds me of a knock knock joke I like to tell. I tell the person "Wanna hear a knock knock joke?" If they reply yes then I say "ok say knock knock" they do, and then I will reply with "Who's there?" and then laugh lol

4points

Fred and George Weasley 5 years ago

lmao someone was dumb enough to fall for this

2points

Logan Cheng 5 years ago (edited)

I just want to say that he did this on a video and...well.. just take a look https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JyCqp40yrOk

1point

Logan Cheng 5 years ago

2020-08-11...37-png.jpg

0points

Astrid Van Dam 5 years ago

First I was like what Then I saw the brains in the oparation

1point

Lisa Holman 5 years ago

doh

0points

Sasha Kuleshov 5 years ago

Vulcan punch!

0points

Richard Brown 5 years ago

Ball of molten lava. Burns paper and melts scissors and rock

0points

#37

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

135points

POST

chi-wei shen 5 years ago

You can't be that desperate, can you?

55points

LittleMissLotus 5 years ago

She's probably just joking

10points

Path of Totality 5 years ago

She's just joking my guy

6points

Jim Price 5 years ago

Been flying solo for 8 years, now... I'm seriously considering.

1point

Pseudo Puppy 5 years ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

Tricia Sloan 5 years ago

You don't have much of a sense of humour do you?

1point

Patty Stier 5 years ago

Just can't go anywhere in it because the wife shredded the tires, keyed the car AND HIM! A sign now hangs from the vehicles bumper saying OUT OF SERVICE (and around his neck). Bad idea, bud.

0points

backatya 5 years ago

I don't think women's thinking works that way.

0points

bpanther 5 years ago

Brilliant !!

0points

Lisa Holman 5 years ago

lmao

0points

Quazmodic 5 years ago

Outstanding? Really?

0points

#38

Outstanding-Move-Jokes

Final score:

86points

POST

Cuddles 5 years ago

Someone at work asked me that and I usually look up and say "The ceiling." Last night the guy was like "AND DON'T SAY THE CEILING!" So I look up and say "The spiders."

11points

Nevits Yibble 5 years ago

Sky, clouds, cost of living....

5points

Mama Panda 5 years ago

I will say "my pants" hahaha

3points

James Naron 5 years ago

What’s up? The rent and the light bill.

1point

Octavia Hansen 5 years ago

That's right next to when people say "You're back!" to say, "No, my front!"

1point

Octavia Hansen 5 years ago

I usually say "The sky"

1point

Anonymous Panda 5 years ago

I use this ALL the time.

0points

Adam Rindegård 5 years ago

this is so me

0points

The_Marvelous_Moron 5 years ago

Anti-pickup lines:

0points

Rebecca Swarbrick Moore 5 years ago

I once copied the first paragraph of wikipedia’s page about ‘UP’ the film/movie when asked ‘what’s up’ .... Up is a 2009 American computer animated comedy-drama[3] adventure film[4] produced by Pixar Animation Studios and distributed by Walt Disney Pictures. The film centers on an elderly widower named Carl Fredricksen (Ed Asner) and an earnest boy named Russell (Jordan Nagai). By tying thousands of balloons to his house, Carl sets out to fulfill his dream to see the wilds of South America and complete a promise made to his late wife, Ellie. The film was directed by Pete Docter and co-directed by Bob Peterson, who also wrote the film's screenplay, as well as the story with Tom McCarthy, with music composed by Michael Giacchino.

0points