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47 People Who Said They’d Get Married To Their Friends If They Ended Up Single Share Their Stories
When we purchase insurance, it’s often in the hopes of never needing it. Similarly, most of us are interested in having a long-term relationship with someone we genuinely like. However, that doesn’t mean one shouldn’t make plans, just in case, if nothing works out.
Someone asked “Has anyone made a deal with a friend that if they weren’t married by a certain age they would marry one another and actually follow through? How did it go?” and people shared their stories. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and if you’ve seen (or done) something similar, be sure to share it in the comments down below.
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#1
Not exactly the same scenario but my grandparents were best friends with another couple before/during WWII. The two boyfriends (later husbands) were pilots in the Royal Canadian Air Force. And they had always agreed that if something happened to the other, that the surviving one would take care of the “other one’s girl”. And basically not leave one of them to be a single widow with no help I guess.
Well they both survived the war but my grandparent’s friend’s wife passed away some time after the war of cancer, he remained very close friends with my grandparents. When my grandfather passed away in the late 1970s my grandmother married the surviving friend. They were married for many happy years and took care of one another until his death.
It wasn’t until I was like 10 years old that I found out this man (who I lovingly also call grandpa), wasn’t my grandfather by blood. But instead was the best friend of my late grandfather. ❤️ I wish I could’ve known my real blood grandfather too, but I’m lucky to have had the Grandpa I did. It was around the time that this Grandpa (second grandpa) died that my parents told me the truth.
Grandma is still kicking, she’s 96 now.
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#2
My friend and I made a deal that by 30, if we are not married or in any type of relationship, we would get married. This was when I was 18 and he was 21. Well, we ended up dating when I was 23 and we got married a few weeks ago. He turned 30 this year. I think we kept our promise!
#3
I made one with my best guy friend to be married at 30. I am 29 now and turn 30 next April, my friend would have turned 29 in March but he passed away 2 months ago from cancer. We spoke about this when he was sick and decided to push it back to 35-40 so we could enjoy life more but we were still down. I miss him everyday.
#4
When I was around 9 my best friend promised that he would marry me when we grew up, if I wanted that, so long as he didn't marry one of the millions of girls, that he said would want to marry him in the future.
We fell in love when were 17, he didn't have anywhere near a million girls wanting to marry him, and now we're engaged. He's keeping his promise, but neither of us settled for each other. We love each other.
#5
Not quite marriage, but back when my best friend and I were about to start college at different schools (both 18), she said she didn't want to do the distance and she wanted a fresh start before college (her response to me saying we should just date).
She comes back from her freshman orientation canoe trip 2 weeks later (she went to an environmental school) and said "f it I missed you lets date". We are happily engaged now 6 years later :)
EDIT: to add to the sappy romance of it, we were long distance for a few years, seeing each other only in the summer and then maybe once a month for a weekend.
I proposed to her the second I saw her when I no longer needed to live separated from her.
#6
Yes, I made this deal in my early twenties with a guy I met while at uni in England (I'm American). The deal was that if neither of us were married or in relationships when I turned 30 (he's 6 years older), we would get married. It turned out that we legitimately fell in love and I returned to England to marry him...two weeks before my 30th birthday. We've been married for 10 years and have two children and I honestly couldn't be happier.
#7
I made sort of this deal. My friend from high school, we were always good friends, never dated. I went in the army, she stayed at home. She was dating the same guy the last year of high school and all the time I was gone, he was one of my best friends from grade school. The Christmas before I got out after 4 years in, I was on leave at home, I was hanging out with both of them. I put him on the spot and asked why he hadn't proposed yet. He was evasive. I told her, in front of him, if, in one year, he didn't marry her, I would. They broke up a couple months later, I didn't know that they were fading when I made that statement. Long story short, a little over a year later, we were walking down the isle. That was 2 kids and 26 years ago. Through a ton of stuff, we're still together, we are, above all, still best friends. That friendship has gotten us through distance, death, war, (my) PTSD and depression. I challenge anyone to go through what we have. I wish everyone could find find the love that we have, the world would be a better place.
#8
Yes, but my better one was with my college roommate (both women). We decided that when we are old and our husbands were dead (we weren’t married or dating anyone at the time), we would get a house together somewhere warm and be roommates again. And hire a nurse.
We’re both married now, her husband is 10+ years older than her and mine is 5 years older. I expect we’ll get a few years in together at some point- 40-50 years from now. Location has not been determined, but she loves Florida so it might be there.
#9
I made a deal with my best friend of 7 years. We even wrote joke “vows” and speeches. This was like 5 years ago when I was 30 and he was 26.
“Well, here we are. 35 and unmarried. I couldn’t find anyone better so I guess we’re doing this thing”!
“You’re pretty cool. I like hanging out with you. This might as well happen!”
I turn 35 in April.
We are getting married next year. I kid you not.
#10
My former best friend and I did this in high school. Thought it was pretty cute at the time. 6 years later I start dating my current girlfriend, she flips out on both of us, I try to fix it, she flips out some more and now we haven't talked in a year.
Sad story.
#11
My best friend and i did this when i was 18 and he was 21, in 10 years if we weren't with anyone. I'm 26 now. we dated for a year after that and it didn't quite work out. after some time away from each other we were able to be friends again and every once an awhile one of us will be like "we've got x amount of years until that pact comes up huh?" we live in different states but i think we both think about it more frequently than we'd like to admit. I think i would still go through with it if we lived closer and got to spend more time with each other.
edit 8 months after this post: we're dating again and disgustingly in love so do whatever with that info :).
#12
Im not a woman, but I had two very close friends in high school who made a pact to marry one another if they hadn't found someone by 30. We're all 31 now, and they live together but haven't tied the knot.
My mom saw them recently buying Tupperware together, lol
So cute.
#13
I once jokingly pink promised my drunk hairdresser that if she couldn’t find anyone else in 5 years time, that I’d let her have her dream wedding of getting married outside whilst barefoot.
About 4 months later, she left her unhappy relationship and we got together.. last Friday, I asked her to marry me!
#14
Back in university my best friend and I made a deal that if we were both single in 4th year, we'd try dating.
We made the deal in first year after he split with his gf. We never made not to 4th year. About 3 months after the deal we were dating.
We've been together 14 years, married for 1.5.
#15
Not me but my friend's older sister. The sister and her best friend are both asexual and I believe aromantic as well, and they decided to just get married for the legal benefits. I don't know them very well but they seem happy with the arrangement whenever I see them. They are kind of crazy cat ladies together.
Huddo's sister 4 hours ago (edited)
What exactly are the legal benefits? Does it depend where you live?
#16
I feel like if 2 people make this deal it means that theyre already into each other and should probably just be together right now.
#17
Made a pact with a girl in middle school to marry each other by 30 if we weren’t. By 21 found out on Facebook that she turned lesbian and got married and moved to Alaska... well there goes that plan.
#18
Yes, a couple years ago I was tipsy in a bar with my friend who I was definitely into, and we made the pact that if neither of us were dating anyone by X time that we would get married. Later that same night we ended up making out, have been together ever since, and are getting married exactly three months from today!
#19
My best guy friend in high school and I used to jokingly say this. We did seriously make a deal the beginning of our junior year that we'd go to prom together if we weren't seeing anyone then. By the time prom rolled around we both legitimately wanted to go together, so we were "real" prom dates instead of "backup" prom dates.
You'd think that would have made us think about the wedding pact, but no. We finally started dating four years later.
In the next six months we will celebrate both of our 30th birthdays and our 7th wedding anniversary!
#20
So not quite how it went... buuut I had a friend where we promised to marry each other if we hadn't found someone by the time he hit the age 40. He is now my husband and I think it has worked out really well even if we ended up marrying about 2 years earlier than planned. We had ended up deciding to date and things just turned out amazingly.
#21
I haven’t followed through (yet) but this type of deal led to my girlfriend and I getting together. I was at a party and I had heard a mutual friend say a few days beforehand that her best friend was her ‘safety wife.’ I was tipsy, and remembered that, so I asked one of my (very platonic) friends if she wanted to be my safety wife. She can be kind of a reticent person and she wasn’t answering fast enough, so I turned to another friend (turned out to be less platonic) and asked her if she wanted to be my safety wife. She said yes right away, and we decided that we would get married at fifty if we were both still single. Joking about our hypothetical future married life led to flirting, which led to us getting together about three weeks later.
Pro tip: if you’ve made this deal with someone you know, there’s a fair chance that there’s been more than friendship there all along, and perhaps you haven’t realised. This isn’t an absolute law, but a guideline...
#22
What's the point of marrying someone you don't love? Sure, you might get some tax and healthcare benefits early on... but if you get sick of each other (which can happen even with "just friends") then you still have to go through that whole divorce process to separate your lives once again. If the point is just cheaper rent and someone to split the chores with--then just move in together but don't get married. If the point is just that you want kids with someone and haven't found anyone yet, then that's a horrible idea to have kids with a person because of the "convenience." If the point is just that you don't want to feel "lonely" then I'm not sure why you think getting married to someone you don't love would help. If the point is just because you're sick of being single and don't want people commenting on it, then that's also a stupid reason to marry someone. Just sounds like an all-around awful idea.
Huddo's sister 4 hours ago
My thoughts exactly... though for most of these, it seems like the pact was more of a Freudian slip, they probably both had feelings they weren't ready to admit to (or make the life change) yet.
#23
Yay, a question I can finally answer!
We had been best "guy/girl" friends since the 7th grade. I always thought he was a the greatest guy...but he was the reason I also believed in platonic relationships. We always talked about our relationships and had an ongoing joke that if we where alone at 30 we would marry each other.
Fast forward to my senior year of college, I hadn't seen him in about 2 years, we always talked, but lack of transportation mixed with college life took its toll. On Halloween I asked him to come by .. and he did, drove 4 hours just to hangout. We slept together that night and I felt like I had ruined our friendship. He said he wanted to date... I lied and said the distance was too much, and that was that.
I had a string of "boyfriends" after this and figured I would find someone eventually. I ended up dating a guy for over 5 years, who I talked to him about often and I could always tell he hated it, but was supportive none the less.
After 5 years and not even living together, I ended it. It was the hardest breakup I had ever gone through as I didn't end it because I wanted to, but because I knew there was no future.
At this point he had moved from the East coast to Cali. I called him and cried. I cried A LOT. He listened to me sob for hours.
After about two weeks of this he sent me a text ...it basically said..."look, I know we said and joked we would get married if we were still single at 30, but I don't want to wait, i love you and I want to be with you."
I told him if he would pay for my plane ticket I would fly out for a week to find a job. He excitedly agreed. I got a job during my trip, packed my car and moved 3,000 away from home.
It's been 3 years and we got engaged on Catalina Island last month.
EDIT: this is the healthiest, most loving relationship I have ever been in. There is/was a reason we where/are best friends.
#24
Made this pact when I was around 21 with my best friend of 4 years at that point. We agreed to get married if we were both single by the time I turned 30. If I recall correctly we started at age 28 and added a year for every game of pool I won that day lol
4 years later he proposed. I broke it off because I wasn’t ready. 6 years after that, I proposed to him(this past summer). I just moved in with him this week. We are eloping in the spring 😊
I honestly can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with my very best friend. I can’t imagine a better person to build a life with.
#25
My best friend throughout college was a guy. People thought we were dating anyways because we did everything together. The night before graduation, my mom told me if we weren't both married before we turned 30, we should marry each other. I casually mentioned it to him and we both laughed it off. We kept in touch after graduation and called each other once a week (he got a job 3 hrs away). Last spring he sent me a letter saying that he'd done a lot of growing up and realized that he'd loved me this whole time. We decided to try dating and now 9 months later we're very much in love and moving in together next summer. I can't see spending the rest of my life with anyone else. :)
If you already are making that sort of pact with each other, then you obviously have feelings for each other. Don't treat them as someone to fall back on if other things don't pan out.
#26
Hey Ladies! Happened to me. My good friend and I made that pact several years into our friendship (in school) two years later we started dating, and now we’re taking about getting engaged. I don’t know if it works out for everyone but it sure did for me!
#27
I made a deal with a co-worker that if we still worked the same job in five years we would end each other. Luckily we found better employment and the whole ending each other was said in jest. I think...
#28
I know a middle aged punk who is married to a friend for tax reasons. He's gay, she has a boyfriend.
As far as i know there havent been any problems, they are on very good terms. Only thing i picked up is that she would like him to write a will because of his very unhealthy lifestyle.
#29
Yup, in my early 20s. The person I made it with has literally ghosted me since I got married. It started as a joke, but I think he actually had some hopes there and I feel bad about confusing him. I think if someone suggests this there's a good chance they're carrying a torch for you and pretending not to. I am still a bit hurt that he treated me this way, we'd known each other since we were teenagers and despite him having an interest in me years ago he swore blind it was a crush and he was over it. If I'd known he was secretly still into me I'd have distanced myself earlier instead of staying closer; I feel a bit betrayed that he had an ulterior motive all along and lied about it. It was like 'oh you're married, there's no point me keeping up this charade any more'. No nice guy stuff, but still, it's a little hurtful.
Frankly if you don't want to be with someone now, there's no point suggesting that you might in the future, even in jest. Sure, friendships can turn into love, but it's good to be very clear about your feelings and not make people feel there's a small chance you'll settle for them. It's demeaning to both sides.
Edit: I decided to give the guy a hello on FB just for old times sake and got a nice reply, turns out he's met someone he really likes and settled down, so hopefully we'll get past this now that it's been a few years. He's one of my oldest friends and I can understand how things might have gotten a bit confused, so here's hoping it's all water under the bridge.
#30
Made the deal when we were 40. This was when we were working at Arby’s in passing/joking
We get married next Saturday (only23/24) haha.
#31
Had a GF a couple of years at high school. Made the deal at 18, as we broke up to go to different colleges. Set the age at 33.
She met a BF a week later and stayed with him long term. I had a string of relationships, married at 30 and had kids.
A month after her 33rd, out of the blue, she is in touch, wants lunch. We meet, get on great, like old times. We arrange lunch again, eventually she confesses, now single. We chatted, finished up, went our separate ways.
Not heard from her since.
I guess I’ll always wonder - did she remember the pact, and plan this all along? If so I feel for her, but my life has moved on. I hope she finds happiness.
#32
Me and a female friend who've always had crushes on each other and flat out like liked each other since Jr. High made the agreement to get married at 40.
Although the timing never worked out due to our relationships at the time, I have always loved her for the person she is and have never harboured any negative feelings towards her SOs and we are still great friends to this day.
I am actually going to her wedding in December and couldn't be happier for the both of them!
I am going solo which is a bit of a bummer, but worth it to be with a friend at a very important event in her life. The friendship HAS to come first, always.
#33
Made a deal with my best friend, and realized we liked each other so decided to date each other, turns out we were better as best friends. No chemistry. He did love me for a very long time, I just couldn't love him romantically. No spark. Broke it off in a month. We found our S/O's a few years later.
#34
Actually yes, it was in 2003 (we were colleagues in school) and the pact said we'd marry by 2013. I met her many many years later in the tramway. We only had a moment because she was getting off. She gave me a false telephone number and that was that.
I don't think I brought up the pact, we were just catching up.
I was into her back then, but for the wrong reasons.
#35
I did it with my friend... if by 40 we both remain free we would marry... He is engaged already... so I guess it won't happen... I still have 10 years.
#36
I'll give the TLDR
Had someone that we dated when we were 16. Lost our virginity to one another. Broke up stayed friends for years. Made the marriage promise by age thirty if we were both single it would happen. Stopped being friends for two years, then reconnected. Started sleeping together. I moved away for school. We grew apart again. A year later reconnected. Started sleeping together again, down side he had a long term girl friend he was cheating on. We just had a love an attraction to each other that we couldn't deny. He told me that I was always the one and he only wanted to be with me and wanted to get married. Broke up with the girl friend and told me that he didn't want me anymore either. It messed me up mentally pretty bad. Now he is blocked on every platform and I never want to see or speak to him ever again.
#37
Made a deal with my high school best friend that if we're still single by 40, we'll marry each other. We're both 23 now so we still have quite a long way to go.. but it's a long shot though since he's gay and I'm slowly breaking off from him.
#38
Made a deal with my husband at 18 years old we would get married to eachother at 30.
We've been together 6 years now. Married for 2 years. I just turned 30 😊.
#39
*Not a lady replying:* My best friend (38f) and I (38m) made this deal to 'get married at 40 if we're both single' about 10 months ago. We started sleeping together a few months after that. We've know each other for 11+ years, and of course I've been crazy about her all that time but keeping it in check as a friend.
A few months went by of us having an incredible time, as always, when I decided it was time to say 'I want you to know that I'm interested in seeing you seriously.' She replied that she is too, but is unsure as I said I didn't want kids and she did. This lead to me revealing that I'm a big, fat (ok, I'm hella fit) liar and that I say that as a coverup for other issues.
When it really came down to it, one night after the above events we were together in bed and she broke down crying and told me she doesn't "have what I want right now" due to some extreme stress she's under right now. It was tough, and I'm still really struggling, but she's my best friend and I love her enough to give her what she needs when she needs it.
1 year and 9 months until we're both 40 though. I hope we're both in a good state by then to be with each other already, or with someone else right.
#40
My husband and I said this when we were only friends! Well way before that age we started dating and knew it was meant to be! I honestly think about how we said that and how we both had feelings for each other but didn’t want to ruin the friendship. I’m so grateful we both took that risk he’s not only my husband but my best friend.
#41
My guy friend and I made a pact 2 years ago that we would marry each other if we're not married by the age of 35. Currently im 24 and he's 25...we have known each other for 11 years now. I definetly would say we would make a great couple because we have the most fun together, super spontaneous, if there's ever an argument between us it never escalates we're great at communicating, and we have the same beliefs. Also I know for a fact he would be a great husband/ father/ partner. Although, the couple thing could work out idk if I could ever see him romantically. The marriage would defintely be platonic and i'm not realizing time goes by super fast lol. Kind of now want to add an extra 5 years to the pact.
#42
Not exactly the scenario OP asked for but my first BF/love recently reached out to me. He was my first love and we broke up 18 yrs ago. It was a nasty breakup. He was very manipulative, and we were not good together regardless of how real our love was. I adored that man.
I finally left him after one too many accusations of me cheating. He was the one cheating.
I only picked up the phone when he called because I thought it was my daughter's daycare calling. He gushed about our relationship back then, and ended the call by telling me he loved me. I blocked him.
#43
Me and my bestfriend. Before we dated we agreed we'd do it. Then we started dating and it ended (not in the best way). Id still marry her.
#44
I did! We made the deal that we would marry each other at 30 if neither of us were married. Five years after making the deal (and 4 years before 30) we got married and are extremely happy together.
#45
Met someone online, we become fast friends over many years talking (400 miles apart). By year 3 we made the pact of marrying each other if we aren’t married by 30. Fast forward 5 years and many annoying relationships. We are now in the most amazing, loving relationship and soon to be married.
#46
My friend and I made a deal that by 40 if neither of us were married we would marry eachother and after my wife died I was telling my kids how I met her and they got the idea that I wanted to date my close friend robin.
#47
I think people who make this deal, must have a great feel for each other, but no one wants to confess first, so make this deal like making a joke. So beautiful.
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Laserleader 7 hours ago (edited)
My husband and I dated for many years, and he said he never wanted to get married and I was okay with that. BUT he had made a deal with his childhood friend to get married at 30 if they were both single. She had gotten divorced a year before they both would turn 30, so I said we had better set a date or he would have to go marry her. He loved her, but had decided many years before that they were not compatible as adults, and he loved me more. He totally willingly agreed to get married the DAY BEFORE his 30th birthday. And so we did, and in the last 10 years he has never forgotten our anniversary.
R Dennis 4 hours ago
A friend's sister died suddenly from cancer (diagnosed to passing <6 months). Her husband had just retired, worked two jobs to retire early. Just bought a boat and planned to golf together for the rest of their lives. He has retirement benefits that can only go to a spouse, so he told the sister that if she doesn't ever marry, he wants to have a civil ceremony with her because he worked hard for these benefits. He doesn't want s*x or anything - on paper only. Her sister was "his person" and he wants to do what he thinks she would want.
Laserleader 7 hours ago (edited)
My husband and I dated for many years, and he said he never wanted to get married and I was okay with that. BUT he had made a deal with his childhood friend to get married at 30 if they were both single. She had gotten divorced a year before they both would turn 30, so I said we had better set a date or he would have to go marry her. He loved her, but had decided many years before that they were not compatible as adults, and he loved me more. He totally willingly agreed to get married the DAY BEFORE his 30th birthday. And so we did, and in the last 10 years he has never forgotten our anniversary.
R Dennis 4 hours ago
A friend's sister died suddenly from cancer (diagnosed to passing <6 months). Her husband had just retired, worked two jobs to retire early. Just bought a boat and planned to golf together for the rest of their lives. He has retirement benefits that can only go to a spouse, so he told the sister that if she doesn't ever marry, he wants to have a civil ceremony with her because he worked hard for these benefits. He doesn't want s*x or anything - on paper only. Her sister was "his person" and he wants to do what he thinks she would want.
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