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Man Spends $1,000 On An Airbnb After His Parents Ignored His GF’s Sleeping Needs For 2 Days
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Man Spends $1,000 On An Airbnb After His Parents Ignored His GF’s Sleeping Needs For 2 Days

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For many, family comes first. After all, these people are usually the ones who provide us with unwavering support, so it’s only fair that we stand by their side as well.

However, when you throw romantic relationships into the mix, things might get complicated, to say the least.

In this particular case, a young man ended up having to choose between his girlfriend, who suffers from severe PTSD, and his relatives, who don’t really understand her needs.

The woman requires specific conditions to sleep, but during the couple’s visit, they failed to adapt.

Now, the tables have turned and it’s the family who’s asking to stay at their apartment, but he fears this would, yet again, disrupt his girlfriend’s fragile sense of security.

To gain some perspective on the situation, he asked the subreddit ‘Am I the [Jerk]?‘ for advice.

This guy’s family can’t seem to empathize with his PTSD-battling girlfriend

Image credits: s_kawee/Envato elements (not the actual photo) 

So he refused to let them stay over

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His relatives didn’t like hearing that, but the guy remained firm

Image credits: YuriArcursPeopleimages/Envato elements (not the actual photo) 

Image credits: aitagirlfriendptsd

Parents need to understand that they cannot control who their adult children date

Dr. Gail Saltz, who is a psychiatrist at New York Presbyterian Hospital, says that it’s perfectly understandable for parents to expect their children to be like them. “You hope they choose the things you choose and embrace the values you embrace,” she writes. “This validates you as a parent and a human being.”

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But that’s not how it always goes. And when someone’s child moves in another direction, they might interpret it as rejection and disapproval.

However, if your son gets involved with a person you aren’t very fond of, you still need to put in the effort and at least try to get along. Pressuring him to pick sides will just create more friction. Saltz adds that parents gain nothing by being antagonistic toward their child and their significant other. Instead, they run the risk of alienating the kid, which is already happening in our Redditor’s case. His parents’ continuing negativity might ultimately force him to decide between them and her, and there’s a good chance his old folks won’t like his decision.

Image credits: Emma Bauso/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Judging from his confession, it sounds like the parents have raised an independent, open-minded, and caring adult, and they should be proud of that.

The authors of F*ck Love: One Shrink’s Sensible Advice for Finding a Lasting Relationship, psychologist Dr. Michael Bennett and his daughter, comedy writer Sarah Bennett, say they’ve run into a lot of readers while promoting the book who have told them similar stories of having a parent that’s hard to take — maybe they hate everyone they date, or maybe it’s that they have a loud family that scare people off.

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So they think it’s important to know “how to create boundaries between the family you create with your [SO] and the family that you have without hurting anybody’s feelings, without making it personal.”

But to do that, your relatives also have to show an interest in maintaining a healthy relationship. Hopefully, the guy behind the post, his girlfriend, and everyone around them will find a way to achieve it.

As the story went viral, its author joined the discussion in the comment section

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

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Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

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Rokas Laurinavičius

Rokas Laurinavičius

Writer, BoredPanda staff

Rokas is a writer at Bored Panda with a BA in Communication. After working for a sculptor, he fell in love with visual storytelling and enjoys covering everything from TV shows (any Sopranos fans out there?) to photography. Throughout his years in Bored Panda, over 300 million people have read the posts he's written, which is probably more than he could count to.

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

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I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

Read less »

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Ilona Baliūnaitė

Author, BoredPanda staff

I'm a Visual Editor at Bored Panda since 2017. I've searched through a multitude of images to create over 2000 diverse posts on a wide range of topics. I love memes, funny, and cute stuff, but I'm also into social issues topics. Despite my background in communication, my heart belongs to visual media, especially photography. When I'm not at my desk, you're likely to find me in the streets with my camera, checking out cool exhibitions, watching a movie at the cinema or just chilling with a coffee in a cozy place

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varwenea avatar
varwenea
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't even imagine being in her shoes, and how much she must have had suffered. Even if I don't understand, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and accommodate. These parents are incapable of basic empathy. Bravo and kudos to the OP for standing up for her. Hugs to her and also kudos to her for going to therapy and helping herself, too. No everyone does.

vivianekatz avatar
Vinnie
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Even if I don't understand, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and accommodate." That's a great example of the kind principle: "I may not understand it, but I will respect it."

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byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stand your ground, they need to find alternative housing. No amount of setting boundaries will have an affect on people who don't believe they should be subject to boundaries they don't like.

josephguerrero avatar
joseph Guerrero
Community Member
4 weeks ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'd be the husband from hell .. f**k her and her fake PTSD. From what war .. what did your parents yell at you

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heatherphilpot avatar
Hphizzle
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grown adults should be able to plan on staying in a hotel or rental, and not do it if they can’t afford it. If you have to go to the level of kicking someone out of their own home to be accommodated, you probably shouldn’t make the trip. My grandparents alway got a hotel and so did we when we went to visit them. Stop being entitled parents.

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varwenea avatar
varwenea
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I can't even imagine being in her shoes, and how much she must have had suffered. Even if I don't understand, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and accommodate. These parents are incapable of basic empathy. Bravo and kudos to the OP for standing up for her. Hugs to her and also kudos to her for going to therapy and helping herself, too. No everyone does.

vivianekatz avatar
Vinnie
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

"Even if I don't understand, I would give her the benefit of the doubt and accommodate." That's a great example of the kind principle: "I may not understand it, but I will respect it."

Load More Replies...
byzantiume2 avatar
FreeTheUnicorn
Community Member
4 weeks ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Stand your ground, they need to find alternative housing. No amount of setting boundaries will have an affect on people who don't believe they should be subject to boundaries they don't like.

josephguerrero avatar
joseph Guerrero
Community Member
4 weeks ago

This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

I'd be the husband from hell .. f**k her and her fake PTSD. From what war .. what did your parents yell at you

Load More Replies...
heatherphilpot avatar
Hphizzle
Community Member
4 weeks ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Grown adults should be able to plan on staying in a hotel or rental, and not do it if they can’t afford it. If you have to go to the level of kicking someone out of their own home to be accommodated, you probably shouldn’t make the trip. My grandparents alway got a hotel and so did we when we went to visit them. Stop being entitled parents.

Load More Comments
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