Parenting Things That Might Sound Good, But Are Actually Toxic Parenting (30 Answers)

The world needs kids who can THINK and (respectfully) ask questions. Not just blindly follow orders or repeat back what they are told. Adults who don't let kids ask questions don't deserve respect from anyone.

Or, as my mother used to put it - "I were like you, you were not like me, so stfu".

There are times in the moment as a parent where you don't currently have the time or the situation is not appropriate to engage in an extended discourse as to the specific reason(s) you are telling your child to do something. But a good parent will circle back with their kid later and fully discuss their reasoning for whatever it was they were told to do/not do.

My mom's "I was in labor with you for 72 hours!"

I used to have a 7-year-old student, & this kid would suffer from horrible headaches (migraines, really) quite often. Her mom couldn't figure out why. The kid's usual daily schedule looked something like this: 7:00 - 2:30 -school; 3:00 - 4:30 tennis lessons; (lunch) 5:30 - 6:30 - violin lessons (piano lessons on Tue & Thur instead); 7:15 - 8:00 -French lessons (swimming on Fri instead); 8:30 - dinner; 9:00 - 10:00 - homework; 10:00 - 11:00 - bath, etc., bedtime. I repeat, her mom couldn't figure out why the kid would have debilitating migraines 3-4 times a week. I wish I was making this up.

Bryn

Bryn

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At the same time, don't have none because they said no. some kids are going to say no because they want to do other things.

Well - meaning parents sign their kids up for lots of things today when the kids are 7 or 8. But what the parents for get is the think about a time where school becomes for more demanding...and the child is in a more competitive and demanding sport the demanding for more of the child-s time than it did when the child was originally signing the kids up to is now far more demanding than it was opin sign-up.

Honestly I’m the one who wants to do everything and my parents are the ones that have to make me stop and think about it 😅

But..down time should NOT consist of video games!

As a father of three and knowing when I am wrong I have no problem at all admitting to my children that actions that I did either against them or in general are wrong. I will always admit to my children whenever I am wrong. It helps them to understand that I am infallible and should be held accountable for my actions and it definitly does not take away from me being their father

Many times have I been accused of something I didn't do and got proven innocent but no apology 💀

The picture is creeping me out a bit

THIS

That's so f*****g annoying

It’s starts by example with admitting & owning one’s own “failures” or mistakes. By doing one’s best to combat the preadolescent myth that parents are perfect & infallible. You can show your children that you’re there to help them learn & grow with love, support, security & safety whilst also letting them know you are also still learning & growing and will make mistakes. I sincerely & appropriately apologize to my kid all the time & it’s never at the expense of being their parent. He knows I’m human and still has innate expectations of me, but he knows the only thing with which I’m striving toward perfection is being his dad. No one else’s nor towards anything else. But I am human, will err along the way, and hopefully will always acknowledge, learn & grown. Our home has the four Ps: we all Practice Patience, Pay Attention, Participate & Pause to think.

Yeah...either kids are entitled little brats who always get participation trophies. And the parents will not back up the teachers...and yes you little Johnny is a bully. Or they are raising delicate little flowers who are afraid of everything. If you don'tteach a kid how to compete how do you expect that kid to function in the real world? I am sure at the time I resented being told to "pick myself up and do it again" or "if something is worth doing, it's worth doing well". My dad was a great one for pithy little sayings...but I really appreciated some of them when I was raising my own (competitive, tough, resilient kids who know that they have to work for what they want. And helicopter parents? Arrgghhhhh

Not just not letting them fail, but doing everything for them. That's child abuse. Parents should of course take care of their children's every need and make every decision for them when they're very small, but that needs to transition to letting them make their own decisions and figure things out for themselves as they get older.

The more mistakes u will make in Ur childhood, usually helps u to make less mistakes in the adulthood.

I had to deal with Capitol gains taxes, inheritance tax and probate in the US and Dutch Inheritance taxes by the time I was 21. My parents were never a couple, are nationals of two separate countries & have always lived on different continents. I also grew up with a very warped & conflicting sense of money. One parent was (still is) the flakey, “black sheep,” wanna-be playboy whom my grandparents circumvented when it came to me, my support & inheritance. The other was less of a trust funder, more of a mildly successful artist who didn’t value money, often gave it away and had little ability to manage it. I’m 50 years old, have never prepared my own taxes and still rely on a financial advisor regularly. As in, weekly. My concept of money is extremely skewed and if it wasn’t for people protecting my best interests and my husband teaching me basic money management skills, I’d have irresponsibly lost everything I have. Thankfully I’ve always had loved ones who weren’t greedy & got my back

We never had much money, i had to work in the house (helping renovating like a normal adult would do, at like 10) to get more pocket money. Whenever i hab a little i went to buy candy or go to the grill Restaurant 2 houses down the road and got me some extra food. Never learned to save money because there was nothing to save. Now i earn decent money and still have trouble to save something, i literally have to hide it from me and make it hard to get it fast.

Andy-Pandy-Panda

Andy-Pandy-Panda

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But then the rich wouldn't get richer!

This reminds me of my neighbors, they stay away from the real world and are taught wrong things and lies, so when they finally grow up they’re going to be thinking everyone nice and that everyone is happy and that people are good, yet none of that is true

Especially with putting software on their devices, even if they are teens and paid using money from their part-time jobs. Imagine someone makes a cross-platform parental control/monitoring app called “Helicopter Parenting”!

It can also lead to them becoming rebellious.

IMO, the readjustment is pretty fast. I mean, it is still way better than transmitting your insecurities and prejudices to your child.

This can seriously mess up child's life later. My mother used to compare me with my classmate, who was very good in math and physics. "Why can't you be like X, he's so smart and hardworking, and he only gets maximum grades! But you are a lazy, ungrateful b***h and nothing good will ever come of you!" Fast forward several years, I was in college and my former classmate had a crush on me. And I couldn't stand the sight of him, just because he reminded me of those years of humiliation and shaming.

"But Bobby did blah blah blah while you can only-" I DON'T GIVE A C**P ABOUT BOBBY! I'M NOT FRIGGIN' BOBBY! Sorry. Had to get that off my chest.

My mother. "Why can't you be like your sister?" Because I was ME and besides my sister was three years older so OF COURSE she was always going to be more mature than me (while we were still kids). Yes, all my mother accomplished was to teach me to hate myself.

Especially siblings

My mother is a twin, and they would constantly compare my sister and I to our cousin. It was always "she started this, so why haven't you?" or "she's already got this, so why haven't you grown that?" It was humiliating. They wouldn't let us be normal kids. It was always a competition to see which one matured faster.

In a similar vein, people who yell as a practice. When I wanna talk to someone across the house, I get up and walk to them or find them. I recently stayed with an old friend, his husband and their three kids for the weekend. They seemed to communicate well, with words. But whenever they wanted anybody’s attention, they would yell across the house or yard. Rather than walk from the kitchen to the back play area to ask their oldest son a question, my friend screamed his name out the open window, and they had a shouting conversation. It was like nails on a chalkboard to me. There was no urgency or emergency and my friend could’ve easily walked the 20 yards, but that’s just not how they do it. Everything is said with loud voices across the home. Nothing is ever done face-to-face, unless they happen to be face-to-face.

Whenever I try to communicate how I feel, she just ends up shouting over me and interrupting repeatedly.

Oh, that's my mother. She used to scream at me and call me names for the smallest mistake. such as dropping a teaspoon on the floor or spilling some drops of water on the table. She'd call this "proper discipline". I hated her.

Don't discipline all your kids the same because each is a unique individual with their own personality. Grounding the introvert who just wants to read a scifi book won't work and neither will taking away the Internet from the who just wants to play in the woods.

It's all about reasonable rules, consistent consequences, and clear expectations.

Bryn

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I remember a parent telling me "to limit the chicken nuggets, because she was getting big" she's 7. wtf.

I have no problems with my nose. It looks fine. But I’ve heard mum complaining about her nose multiple times and we have the same nose. I try to ignore her.