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30 Things That Nobody Bats An Eye About If It’s A Guy Doing It, But Loses Their Wits If It’s A Woman Doing It, As Listed By Folks Online
No matter how much we talk about equality between men and women, oftentimes stressing how much has already been achieved over decades of hard work, it seems that there are a lot of things that still need to be done, and extensive changes implemented. The problem of double standards between men and women is not that hard to notice, especially in some common everyday life occurrences. Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/killywayx decided to ask people “What is something that is considered ‘normal’ for a man to do, but if a woman does it then they will receive backlash?”.
The question that received 30.5k upvotes and 15k answers showed that no matter how modern our society is, it is still full of old and entrenched behaviors. Some of the examples included things that are related to looks: women not being able to take off their t-shirt while for men it’s quite a normal thing to do, or having to constantly take care of body hair so you won’t be considered messy and neglectful, although for men, it’s not a problem. Some examples also touched upon social issues such as women who don’t want to have kids receiving quite a lot of backlash, whereas it becomes understandable when men don’t want a family. When it comes to career, women who are strong leaders and value proper work ethics are considered cold and emotionless, while men who have the same traits are seen as respectable bosses.
What are some of the things that you have noticed to be considered normal for men but don’t apply to women? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
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Have an angry reaction. If it's a woman WAY too many people assume it's PMS or an overreaction.
Getting shouted at constantly by your spouse. For women, it's abuse. But men are just expected to suck it up
Not all of these will apply to everyone or every circumstance, but I think that most of these are fair.
1. Asking a guy out or asking a guy to marry you. It's seen as pushy or impatient and frowned upon.
2. Going hiking alone. People don't tend to raise their eyebrows at a man roughing it in the wilderness, but it's seen as reckless or dangerous if a girl does it.
3. Being assertive, standing up for yourself, and being confrontational. A lot of times it's seen as rude when it's seriously just somebody standing up for themselves.
4. Eating large portions of food. If a woman (even a skinny and fit one) is at an event she enjoys and fills a plate with junk food, it tends to raise a few eyebrows. It's considered unladylike. When a guy does it, it's viewed as normal and healthy appetite.
5. Dealing with grief. When a guy doesn't cry, it's stoic. When a woman doesn't cry, it's cold and unhealthy.
6. Caring little about appearance. If a guy goes a few days without shaving and has some stubble, it isn't frowned upon very much. If a girl goes without shaving her legs it's disgusting.
7. Masculime interests. A guy can like cars and video games and sports without question. But if a girl likes those things, it's "because she wants a guy" or "she's faking it" and she has to prove her worth and knowledge.
8. I know it's been said a lot, but sleeping around. It really is a very high double standard. It seems like the pressure is usually placed on women to be the defenders of sexuality. But sometimes we want to get down and dirty too. And I don't think anyone should be shamed for that -- male or female.
That said, I do think that men face a lot of backlash and hardships as well, especially for doing things that normal women do like being alone with children, having open emotions, caring about appearance a lot, etc. I do think women face backlash, even sometimes for behaving like a stereotypical woman (having strong emotions, wearing makeup, wanting to show some skin...) At the end of the day, a little bit of understanding goes a long way. :) Let's all be kind to everyone around us! :)
Calling it "babysitting" when watching their own children
I've always corrected people on this whenever they tried saying my kid's dad was "babysitting". Her Dad even called it "babysitting". Parenting would've been a lot easier to cope with if I didn't feel like a single parent in a 2 parent family.
Walk around and be treated fairly in Iran.
Age, gain weight, fart, be sexually active, raise her voice, don't tolerate being interrupted,...
Not wanting kids.
When a man is good with kids and/or wants kids some day, he is called "a catch" (you know, in combination with other good traits), meaning that the opposite (not being good with kids and/or not wanting kids some day) is common and normal, but not great.
A woman who does not want kids or is awkward with kids is seen with an unkind eye.
Keep their last name after marriage.
My friend took his wife's name because he had a Lon, complicated last name that people were constantly butchering. His wife had an easy last name, lol
This is exactly what my husband did. It’s amazing how much s**t we still get about it from some of his family members 🙄
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It depends on the country. Where I come from almost nobody does it anymore. Everyone keeps their own last name after marrying (I come from Italy)
Quebec too, we all keep our names when we wed. To get your husband's name you have to file for a name change. This legislation is provincial so its not the same across Canada. I kept my name.
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I’ve been married twice and kept my last name. I never understood why people would go through all the hassle of changing their name. My current husband agreed that our son should have my last name because it’s simple, three letters, very difficult to misspell while his name is constantly misspelled and sounds a bit like a swear word.
My husband and I use each other's last names as middle names: My name * his last name * my last name His name * my last name * his last name. In my country (Denmark) I think it's pretty much 50/50 on which last name you take.
My female cousin and her husband used her last name. Mainly because my cousin is a teacher and her husband's last name was Pratt.
Mt friend's mum is a teacher and chose to keep her name, as her husband's is Dix.
Load More Replies... If I do get married, they can take my name or keep their own, I don't care. Just no double-barrelled fuckery
I will never understand this one. I kept my last name. I love my last name, it's who I am. My husband doesn't own me. If you want to change it, but all means, that's your choice and your right, but don't give me a hard time for wanting to keep my name that's been mine my whole life.
I was almost 40 when I got married. I hadn't intended to change it at all, my husband sort of wanted me to. As a compromise, I hyphenated. Pretty much everyone--INCLUDING my husband--just refers to me by my birth name.
Well usually men keep their names lol, I kept my ex husbands surname mainly because of our children, but so many bills, licenses, documents were all in the surname it would have been a pain to change them all .
I kept my surname - no-one even mentioned it - not sure it is such a big thing in the UK?
I don't think it is either. I know quite a few people who kept their surname and one fella who took hers as he felt his was ugly sounding.
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Can I upvote this one 100 times?? I don't understand why woman do (or are expected) take their husband's last name. I have been married twice and I have never changed my name, I was born with my last name and I will die with my last name, it is who I am. I feel it is such an outdated custom from a time when women were considered men's property.
Not so much here in Sweden anymore, I’ve gathered. Now it’s often a 50/50 situation - they tend to go for the last name that sounds the coolest. Or keep both.
I kept mine. Mostly? My last name is slightly long, multiple syllables, his is one syllable and I always thought boring. Oh, and his sister and I share the same name. I decided one person in the family with the name was enough.
This is more because of tradition, but yeah it should still be fine if the woman wants to
My cousin took his wife's name so that the family name would not die out with her being the only female child. I've been married twice and didn't change my name either time. I like the name I was born with. I think it's weird to all of a sudden change your name. Ok, maybe not "all of a sudden" considering there was a marriage involved. but I'd like to keep one name my whole life, it's who I am. Also, my university degrees are in that name, I'd like to honor those accomplishments. Not to mention that changing your name on everything takes a lot of time and effort. Hate if you want, just my opinion
We got married in 1986. Even back then I thought the custom of changing last names was silly, so I told my wife she was free to keep her and it wouldn’t have bothered me. She said "I am an artist, your last name is way better than mine, I am keeping it".
My wife has kept hers. I also had a male cousin who took his wife last name. they divorced and he gave his new wife the old wifes last name since he kept it thru the divorced.
I say that my maiden name is cursed, so I looked forward to change it. And if you knew my family, you would agree, it is cursed. My husband didn't believe me, until he found out more about persons in the family. After the wedding a guy at his work asked, if I took his surname. He answered "she did, she said that her surname was cursed and she need to get rid of the curse." and the colleague reacted "that's weird, I used to have colleague Robert *my maiden name* and he took his wife's name, because he thought the name was cursed". My husband"Well, you can believe him, she had exactly the same surname." "-wait, what?! Really?!"...and no, that Robert is not a relative of mine as far as I know. But what do I know, maybe some distant relative? :)
My then-wife and I considered both of us changing our names since no one ever spelled mine correctly and she just never liked hers. We drew up a list and had some contenders, but in the end we decided to keep our original names, mostly because hers was part of the name of the company she was partners in. And it was simply easier for both of us to just keep things the way they were.
And I read years ago about a couple who both dropped their surnames and used the other person's given name as their new surname. I can't remember the names, but it worked well.
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I've thought of hyphenating my last name. But with the boyfriend I have now my name would not sound any less "suggestive". I'd rather just go by his last name. However, I like how short my last name is and I've already established my signature. I'm not sure what complications occur when you change your name. It seems scary in a way. If I keep my last name it would create some confusion, possibly. I just dk at this point. I think we could be together unmarried.
I had a family member get married...they found their own last name, that reflected their career/vocation...which is how last names came about originally...bob the baker, Bob baker etc
I’m all for keeping your name. The whole name change “tradition” was from old British common law based on showing the husbands ownership of his wife. Upon marriage, she lost her last name, all monies and properties, everything went to her damn husband! We should not honor such “traditions” now. They were all invented to deprive women of legal standing and rights.
Kept my name. No problem here. Since no children ever were planned....
married twice, refuse to change my last name. It was started as she became the property of the husband. Nope nope nope. If you do that is your choice and should not be forced.
I'm researching my family's genealogy, and was surprised how common it was in Jewish families for the man to take the wife's name. Not only that, but having double last names was pretty common as well. Most of these "hyphenated" (they didn't have an actual hyphen) last names were lost when people immigrated the the USA and were required to give only one surname. It usually was the man's surname (though not always). In general in Jewish communities of the Russian Empire in smaller cities and towns, surnames were rarely used on a daily basis. It was the personal name, and some addition, such as "Short Shmulik", or "Surah's Yankel". This was the case until well into the 20th century and the destruction of all of those communities. Shmulik is a nickname for Shmuel/Samuel, "Surah" = Sarah, and "Yankel" is a nickname for Yaakov/Jacob.
Pretty sure a woman can decide whether it's fine or not, regardless of what's written in the bible.
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Not being you child’s primary care giver. Normal for a dad. Failure for a mum.
Shave your hair off.
I've had a lot of friends shave their heads for 'Stand up to Cancer' , none had any comeback because of it xx
driving an 18 wheeler.... they s**t when i get out.....it is just a truck.....i can drive a semi, too
S**t lol, i remember a few decades a go, when a bus company here got its 2 first female bus drivers, those busses where full to capacity for 2 or 3 weeks, just by idiots that wanted to see a woman drive a bus.
a) having sex
b) not having sex
c) smiling and laughing a lot
d) not smiling and laughing “enough”
e) not knowing how to cook
f) not doing house chores
g) having kids and having a career at the same time
Being old
Please correct me if I'm wrong but as an aging women I feel older women are the least respected/ revered (?) / unaccepted (?)... Would appreciate others insights.
Make reasonable complaints
Not wanting marriage
Being assertive. Assertive women seen as ‘dominating’ and ‘intimidating,’ but assertive men are seen as ‘having incredible leadership skill’ and ‘confident and self-assured’ (Know this by comparing my teacher’s commentary on my leadership skills versus my male friend who did the exactly the same)
Assertive women are given the term pushy. It's not the same for guys.
Be fat/chubby. Fat men= the funny friend. Fat woman= the ugly friend. Not fair tbh
Really? I had a female friend that weighed 120kg and She was 1.60m tall, i weigh 120kg but i'm a male ( denser boné and muscle structures ) and i'm 1.85m tall, and She was BY FAR the sexyest women i ever talked to, personality counts a lot, and She had that in spades, its a shame She was married.
Break up and leave the kids. Only get kids 4 days a month.
Ambition of any sort which does not involve having kids.
Take their shirt off.
That is stupid, and i say this not because Im a man, but because if you go to most EU beaches a lot of women are and walk around topless and no One gives a c**p about it.
Say "No".
No is an answer, not an obstacle. So shut the hecc up and accept the word "No".
Walk out on their wife and kid. I know many men that have left their partners and their children. Barely visit their kids, make very little effort. No one really judges them that harshly for it.
But could you imagine if a woman walked out on her husband and children? Absolute monster.
Refusing to pick up your kid from school because "you're at work"
Voicing an unpopular opinion or offering constructive criticism in (too many) professional settings.
Have a child whilst also having a job.
Edit: I was actually referring to the stealth demotions and firings, denied promotions, etc, but as people have pointed out, yes there's mom shaming too
I would be asked at my job. "Who looks after your daughter when you're at work?" Dunno. Ask the lions.
Sit the Iron Throne
That chair looks very uncomfortable, and too exposed to the elements. How's about a cushion and a shade tree? Thanks, I'm not sitting on that.
Note: this post originally had 36 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I don't see a problem with women doing any of these. Is this mainly America? Cos in the UK it seems we don't judge as much. Or maybe we do but we're too polite to actually say anything lol.
Can't say it fits my experience in most instances, to be honest. The only one that does is being asked about having children. Though it was being asked, I didn't actually feel judged. Though that might be me not caring that much about what others think... hard to know really!
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liking the same gender. being gay is more often frowned upon no matter male or female, but sometimes lesbian relationships get sexualised. why? we just love the same gender
That's because men think women only exist for their pleasure.
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Sleeping with casual hook ups. When a guy does it, he's a 'player' and admired. When a woman does it, she's a s**t.
Living in Russia and if a man reacts angrily to something it is viewed very poorly. Specially in a working environment. Like, the only time I saw a guy yell in at work here, everyone reacted very judgmentaly about it and said he was acting childish and that it shows that he lacks respect in the company and is throwing tantrums to try to prove something but it is backfiring. Nobody finds it acceptable here. Had a PhD student yell at our group of students in class, cause he couldn't make them behave. Didn't have any more classes after that...
Date or marry a younger man. When men date or marry a younger woman, people don't seem bothered at all, but my husband is 13 years younger than I am and people seem to think it's weird (I had one "friend" tell me to my face that it was creepy even though we are and have always been consenting adults).
everytime i see men dating younger women they get called pedos even if both people were consenting adults when the relationship started
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You are either oblivious or really ignorant. And your arguments are very poor. Please educate yourself.
Load More Replies... I don't see a problem with women doing any of these. Is this mainly America? Cos in the UK it seems we don't judge as much. Or maybe we do but we're too polite to actually say anything lol.
Can't say it fits my experience in most instances, to be honest. The only one that does is being asked about having children. Though it was being asked, I didn't actually feel judged. Though that might be me not caring that much about what others think... hard to know really!
Load More Replies... liking the same gender. being gay is more often frowned upon no matter male or female, but sometimes lesbian relationships get sexualised. why? we just love the same gender
That's because men think women only exist for their pleasure.
Load More Replies... Sleeping with casual hook ups. When a guy does it, he's a 'player' and admired. When a woman does it, she's a s**t.
Living in Russia and if a man reacts angrily to something it is viewed very poorly. Specially in a working environment. Like, the only time I saw a guy yell in at work here, everyone reacted very judgmentaly about it and said he was acting childish and that it shows that he lacks respect in the company and is throwing tantrums to try to prove something but it is backfiring. Nobody finds it acceptable here. Had a PhD student yell at our group of students in class, cause he couldn't make them behave. Didn't have any more classes after that...
Date or marry a younger man. When men date or marry a younger woman, people don't seem bothered at all, but my husband is 13 years younger than I am and people seem to think it's weird (I had one "friend" tell me to my face that it was creepy even though we are and have always been consenting adults).
everytime i see men dating younger women they get called pedos even if both people were consenting adults when the relationship started
Load More Replies... You are either oblivious or really ignorant. And your arguments are very poor. Please educate yourself.
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