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30 Things That Nobody Bats An Eye About If It’s A Guy Doing It, But Loses Their Wits If It’s A Woman Doing It, As Listed By Folks Online
No matter how much we talk about equality between men and women, oftentimes stressing how much has already been achieved over decades of hard work, it seems that there are a lot of things that still need to be done, and extensive changes implemented. The problem of double standards between men and women is not that hard to notice, especially in some common everyday life occurrences. Having this in mind, Reddit user @u/killywayx decided to ask people “What is something that is considered ‘normal’ for a man to do, but if a woman does it then they will receive backlash?”.
The question that received 30.5k upvotes and 15k answers showed that no matter how modern our society is, it is still full of old and entrenched behaviors. Some of the examples included things that are related to looks: women not being able to take off their t-shirt while for men it’s quite a normal thing to do, or having to constantly take care of body hair so you won’t be considered messy and neglectful, although for men, it’s not a problem. Some examples also touched upon social issues such as women who don’t want to have kids receiving quite a lot of backlash, whereas it becomes understandable when men don’t want a family. When it comes to career, women who are strong leaders and value proper work ethics are considered cold and emotionless, while men who have the same traits are seen as respectable bosses.
What are some of the things that you have noticed to be considered normal for men but don’t apply to women? Don’t forget to leave your thoughts in the comments down below!
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Have an angry reaction. If it's a woman WAY too many people assume it's PMS or an overreaction.
Getting shouted at constantly by your spouse. For women, it's abuse. But men are just expected to suck it up
Not all of these will apply to everyone or every circumstance, but I think that most of these are fair.
1. Asking a guy out or asking a guy to marry you. It's seen as pushy or impatient and frowned upon.
2. Going hiking alone. People don't tend to raise their eyebrows at a man roughing it in the wilderness, but it's seen as reckless or dangerous if a girl does it.
3. Being assertive, standing up for yourself, and being confrontational. A lot of times it's seen as rude when it's seriously just somebody standing up for themselves.
4. Eating large portions of food. If a woman (even a skinny and fit one) is at an event she enjoys and fills a plate with junk food, it tends to raise a few eyebrows. It's considered unladylike. When a guy does it, it's viewed as normal and healthy appetite.
5. Dealing with grief. When a guy doesn't cry, it's stoic. When a woman doesn't cry, it's cold and unhealthy.
6. Caring little about appearance. If a guy goes a few days without shaving and has some stubble, it isn't frowned upon very much. If a girl goes without shaving her legs it's disgusting.
7. Masculime interests. A guy can like cars and video games and sports without question. But if a girl likes those things, it's "because she wants a guy" or "she's faking it" and she has to prove her worth and knowledge.
8. I know it's been said a lot, but sleeping around. It really is a very high double standard. It seems like the pressure is usually placed on women to be the defenders of sexuality. But sometimes we want to get down and dirty too. And I don't think anyone should be shamed for that -- male or female.
That said, I do think that men face a lot of backlash and hardships as well, especially for doing things that normal women do like being alone with children, having open emotions, caring about appearance a lot, etc. I do think women face backlash, even sometimes for behaving like a stereotypical woman (having strong emotions, wearing makeup, wanting to show some skin...) At the end of the day, a little bit of understanding goes a long way. :) Let's all be kind to everyone around us! :)
Having body hair
It should be personal preference. I personally don't enjoy feeling little hairs blowing in the wind on my legs, and I don't like how pit hairs hang on to odors, or the way it itches. But some people don't care and that's okay. There are men who shave their body hair, too. To some, that is weird.
I am pretty old, and it seemed like this was on its way to being normalized when I was younger. For some reason our culture went the other way, and now it is really unusual to see a woman with leg hair (USA). I heard a teenager who saw a woman with leg hair at the pool comment that he thought women couldn't grow it.
An incident last summer annoyed me so much. I'm tall with back problems, shaving my legs is an extreme sport, so I don't do it often. I was wearing capris so a bit of leg was exposed and my mom and sister spent a lot of time pointing out my body hair and how it was unhygienic not to shave and just unsightly. I pointed to my uncles hairy legs in his shorts and asked what the difference was. "It's expected from women, it's just different, that's all." I wore shorts out of spite the next day.
Growing up with the idea that women don't have body hair makes it seem gross at first, but I really think this is something I could get used to. Might take some time though. Just being honest.
Nothing strange about that. What one is raised with sticks hard.
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I'm don't even think men should have body hair. It's f****n nasty lol. But as StrangeOne says. It's personal preference. I'm not gonna b***h about it if a woman has a hairy bod.
Here, have an upvote. I think people may have misunderstood. As mammals, it's totally natural for us to have hair, but that hair also traps oil and dirt, so it can be considered unhygienic--but it's equally natural and unhygienic for both sexes.
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Quit shaving my hairy legs during lockdown and never restarted. I teach sailing so my leg hair is definitely on display. Wind feels good blowing through my leg hair. LOL
Lol I've never shaved my body hair, ist not to thick and I kinda like it :)
I’ve done a lot of things girls are not supposed to do: play pool competitively, casual sex when I felt like it, chose not to have kids, got divorced and stayed single afterward, currently work in a male dominated industry because it pays well. People who know me accept it and those who don’t are not in my life. Live on your own terms. Your friends and family will still love you.
Most guys say it's us being obsessed by body hair they can barely notice😏
For those of you who are old enough; Didn't your body hair begin to disappear as you aged??!! I stopped shaving 10-15 years ago because I had so much less. The leg hairs became shorter then POOF! Gone! I think there are still a few underarm hairs which I trim about every six months. And, if I ever wear a bikini again, I won't have to trim around the bottom.
I'm pretty sure a lot of men with hair on their back disagree with this one 😉
I have trouble seeing how body hair on women would be more unhygienic (the common argument), even if I try. And yes, I do share the "preference" of being smooth but that's only because I've learned that that's how women are "supposed" to be. The last couple years I've worked hard on letting go of the need to shave. At first I felt very lazy and ashamed whenever I grew hair but I am much more comfortable with it now (so it can definitely be un-learned.) And it saves so much time and skin irritation. It's ok to have a preference but we need to reflect on why we have that preference and not give it that much attention (I always get so sad when people find their partner less attractive for not shaving etc, in those cases I feel it's work needing to be done.)
Calling it "babysitting" when watching their own children
I've always corrected people on this whenever they tried saying my kid's dad was "babysitting". Her Dad even called it "babysitting". Parenting would've been a lot easier to cope with if I didn't feel like a single parent in a 2 parent family.
Walk around and be treated fairly in Iran.
Age, gain weight, fart, be sexually active, raise her voice, don't tolerate being interrupted,...
Not wanting kids.
When a man is good with kids and/or wants kids some day, he is called "a catch" (you know, in combination with other good traits), meaning that the opposite (not being good with kids and/or not wanting kids some day) is common and normal, but not great.
A woman who does not want kids or is awkward with kids is seen with an unkind eye.
Keep their last name after marriage.
My friend took his wife's name because he had a Lon, complicated last name that people were constantly butchering. His wife had an easy last name, lol
Not being you child’s primary care giver. Normal for a dad. Failure for a mum.
Shave your hair off.
I've had a lot of friends shave their heads for 'Stand up to Cancer' , none had any comeback because of it xx
driving an 18 wheeler.... they s**t when i get out.....it is just a truck.....i can drive a semi, too
S**t lol, i remember a few decades a go, when a bus company here got its 2 first female bus drivers, those busses where full to capacity for 2 or 3 weeks, just by idiots that wanted to see a woman drive a bus.
a) having sex
b) not having sex
c) smiling and laughing a lot
d) not smiling and laughing “enough”
e) not knowing how to cook
f) not doing house chores
g) having kids and having a career at the same time
Being old
Please correct me if I'm wrong but as an aging women I feel older women are the least respected/ revered (?) / unaccepted (?)... Would appreciate others insights.
Make reasonable complaints
Not wanting marriage
Being assertive. Assertive women seen as ‘dominating’ and ‘intimidating,’ but assertive men are seen as ‘having incredible leadership skill’ and ‘confident and self-assured’ (Know this by comparing my teacher’s commentary on my leadership skills versus my male friend who did the exactly the same)
Assertive women are given the term pushy. It's not the same for guys.
Be fat/chubby. Fat men= the funny friend. Fat woman= the ugly friend. Not fair tbh
Really? I had a female friend that weighed 120kg and She was 1.60m tall, i weigh 120kg but i'm a male ( denser boné and muscle structures ) and i'm 1.85m tall, and She was BY FAR the sexyest women i ever talked to, personality counts a lot, and She had that in spades, its a shame She was married.
Break up and leave the kids. Only get kids 4 days a month.
Ambition of any sort which does not involve having kids.
Take their shirt off.
That is stupid, and i say this not because Im a man, but because if you go to most EU beaches a lot of women are and walk around topless and no One gives a c**p about it.
Say "No".
No is an answer, not an obstacle. So shut the hecc up and accept the word "No".
Walk out on their wife and kid. I know many men that have left their partners and their children. Barely visit their kids, make very little effort. No one really judges them that harshly for it.
But could you imagine if a woman walked out on her husband and children? Absolute monster.
Refusing to pick up your kid from school because "you're at work"
Voicing an unpopular opinion or offering constructive criticism in (too many) professional settings.
Have a child whilst also having a job.
Edit: I was actually referring to the stealth demotions and firings, denied promotions, etc, but as people have pointed out, yes there's mom shaming too
I would be asked at my job. "Who looks after your daughter when you're at work?" Dunno. Ask the lions.
Sit the Iron Throne
That chair looks very uncomfortable, and too exposed to the elements. How's about a cushion and a shade tree? Thanks, I'm not sitting on that.
Note: this post originally had 36 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
I don't see a problem with women doing any of these. Is this mainly America? Cos in the UK it seems we don't judge as much. Or maybe we do but we're too polite to actually say anything lol.
Can't say it fits my experience in most instances, to be honest. The only one that does is being asked about having children. Though it was being asked, I didn't actually feel judged. Though that might be me not caring that much about what others think... hard to know really!
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liking the same gender. being gay is more often frowned upon no matter male or female, but sometimes lesbian relationships get sexualised. why? we just love the same gender
That's because men think women only exist for their pleasure.
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Sleeping with casual hook ups. When a guy does it, he's a 'player' and admired. When a woman does it, she's a s**t.
Living in Russia and if a man reacts angrily to something it is viewed very poorly. Specially in a working environment. Like, the only time I saw a guy yell in at work here, everyone reacted very judgmentaly about it and said he was acting childish and that it shows that he lacks respect in the company and is throwing tantrums to try to prove something but it is backfiring. Nobody finds it acceptable here. Had a PhD student yell at our group of students in class, cause he couldn't make them behave. Didn't have any more classes after that...
Date or marry a younger man. When men date or marry a younger woman, people don't seem bothered at all, but my husband is 13 years younger than I am and people seem to think it's weird (I had one "friend" tell me to my face that it was creepy even though we are and have always been consenting adults).
everytime i see men dating younger women they get called pedos even if both people were consenting adults when the relationship started
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You are either oblivious or really ignorant. And your arguments are very poor. Please educate yourself.
Load More Replies... I don't see a problem with women doing any of these. Is this mainly America? Cos in the UK it seems we don't judge as much. Or maybe we do but we're too polite to actually say anything lol.
Can't say it fits my experience in most instances, to be honest. The only one that does is being asked about having children. Though it was being asked, I didn't actually feel judged. Though that might be me not caring that much about what others think... hard to know really!
Load More Replies... liking the same gender. being gay is more often frowned upon no matter male or female, but sometimes lesbian relationships get sexualised. why? we just love the same gender
That's because men think women only exist for their pleasure.
Load More Replies... Sleeping with casual hook ups. When a guy does it, he's a 'player' and admired. When a woman does it, she's a s**t.
Living in Russia and if a man reacts angrily to something it is viewed very poorly. Specially in a working environment. Like, the only time I saw a guy yell in at work here, everyone reacted very judgmentaly about it and said he was acting childish and that it shows that he lacks respect in the company and is throwing tantrums to try to prove something but it is backfiring. Nobody finds it acceptable here. Had a PhD student yell at our group of students in class, cause he couldn't make them behave. Didn't have any more classes after that...
Date or marry a younger man. When men date or marry a younger woman, people don't seem bothered at all, but my husband is 13 years younger than I am and people seem to think it's weird (I had one "friend" tell me to my face that it was creepy even though we are and have always been consenting adults).
everytime i see men dating younger women they get called pedos even if both people were consenting adults when the relationship started
Load More Replies... You are either oblivious or really ignorant. And your arguments are very poor. Please educate yourself.
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