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“Everyone Started To Look At Me Like ‘???’”: 86 Habits Neurodivergent People Thought Were Normal
There comes a time in every person’s life when they are forced to reconcile the fact that, actually, what they think is entirely normal doesn’t represent how the average person operates. If one happens to not be neurologically typical, then this might be the list for you.
Someone made a post stating “Neurodivergent folks, what’s a symptom you thought was normal until you realized it absolutely wasn’t?” and people shared their best examples. Note, many of the things here can be attributed to neurodivergence, but are not exclusive to it. So get comfortable as you scroll through, upvote your favorites and be sure to write down and obsess over your own examples in the comments below.
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#1
Not hating showering itself but hating the task initiation.
RELATED:
#2
When people tell me a story, I tell them a similar story to try to relate. Ppl don’t like that they think I’m trying to make it about myself when I’m trying to empathize.
Zig Zag Wanderer 5 hours ago
This is so incredibly common. I tried hard to stop doing this decades ago, thinking I was being egotistical. I only recently discovered that all neurodivergents do it to some extent. It made me fell better.
#3
Constantly googling things when I don't know. iIt boggles my mind that people don't know something and then just keep moving through life not knowing.....
#4
I replay conversations I have with people in my head.. to try to determine if said the appropriate thing and I totally over analyze it. It can be exhausting...
#5
Not actually “missing” many people or feeling the urge to talk to friends or anyone besides the people you’re around everyday. People are like out of sight out of mind.
#6
Brain radio! I thought everyone else was hearing music on repeat inside their head. 😭
#7
Always needing to know “why” and doing extensive deep research about random things only to completely lose interest a month or two later.
#8
Clearing my ENTIRE day to get ready for an event at 7pm.
#9
Instantly recognizing patterns.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
I love patterns! I would not say that I'm good at recognizing them though. 😅
#10
Time blindness. I zone out and look at my phone and 2 hours have gone by.
E2U&U2 55 minutes ago
Time blindness, wow, what a concept. All those years ago, when I was young and needed to be places, I would habitually lose track of time despite the honest steps I took to be on time. When I was late, and people would demand to know why, they just looked at me so crazy when I said, "I don't know what happened, I wasn't doing anything, I was getting dressed, I don't know where the time went."
#11
Listening to one song on repeat for hours.
Rick Murray 1 hour ago
This was pretty much my reaction to the entirety of "Legends of the Light" by Eye of Melian. It's basically aural dopamine.
#12
Object permanence, I don’t miss anyone or anything, is a struggle 😩
UnclFredstr:
Object permanence, especially with people. I can go months without communicating, and yet to me, when I do, it feels like just yesterday.
TheOGpandaHavana 4 hours ago (edited)
Yeah, this is hard for me to understand because I have it but I also have intense anxiety. Therefore I get incredibly anxious about future regrets for things I don't currently miss. It's a never-ending vicious cycle.
#13
Having full conversations with myself in my head…
Colleen Glim 4 hours ago
I have full conversations with myself out loud. Some days it’s my only means of having an intelligent conversation
#14
Hating obligations, they stress me out. Even fun ones.
#15
Constant overthinking, ruminating, worrying, intrusive, racing thoughts. Until my 30s I thought everyone had the same & were just sailing through life not bothered by it.
#16
Having to train myself to make eye contact with people in conversation.
Rick Murray 3 hours ago
Which eye? Should I alternate? Stare between them? People demand eye contact then start to get creeped out when you put in the effort to do it - why?
#18
I don’t know if there’s a word for it but just thoughts ALL the time about seemingly everything. If I’m interacting with someone I’m thinking about the way I’m sitting or standing, what they think of me, if I’m responding normally, eye contact, that random thing that happened 10 yrs ago and made me feel bad, am I nodding too much?” It takes me out of the moment. Makes me wonder how ppl genuinely enjoy things for a prolonged amount of time.
Rick Murray 3 hours ago
I find it mind blowing that people can have a period of "no thoughts". Like, you guys have an off switch?
#19
task initiation. 1. i cant do a task just by thinking i want to do it. i have to have an actual external push/drive. like cleaning my house, i mope around all day thinking i will clean i will clean. but tell me you be dropping by in 45 mins, and i can clean it all up. 2. I cant do anything alone, i need a body double to just be there with me even if they aren't doing the same thing im doing. 3. i cant just start and stop a task by my own. i could literally work all day with no breaks if no one tells me to do a bathroom break, or a meal break. so yeah. when I learned about that, I'm like, this is too complicated.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
So similar but it's more that if I stop to take a break, I won't be able to start again and sometimes it's almost impossible to stop even if I want/need to! I do things better alone than with someone but I definitely need external motivation.
#20
Countdown clock for everything. Apparently "getting ready to get ready to go" is not a normal thing.
#21
Maladaptive daydreaming, specially how it affected my memory.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
My problem is reading. I sometimes can't differentiate real and read memories.
#22
Saying exactly what I mean but then being called rude when I was being legitimately neutral.
#23
Wanting friends but unable to keep them bc I can’t ever seem to truly like a person once I get to know them.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
The feeling always becomes mutual if I dare allow anyone to become more than a pleasant acquaintance.
#24
Getting overwhelmed by environmental noise but always needing the right background noises.
#25
Predicting the end of movies, shows, conventions. Being human lie detector and not being able to put into words why I don’t like someone immediately.
#26
Having to do two things at once in order to pay full attention to one of those things. Example: playing a game on my phone in order to be able to pay attention to a lecture or meeting.
#27
Reading for 30 minutes and having no clue what I just read.
#28
Forgetting a person's name straight after they've told you.
#29
Over analyzing every interaction I have with another person. Rejection sensitivity. Extreme reactions to any type of music that tickles my brain and gives me a dopamine release.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago (edited)
All of that is so painful! Even the music. I do get dopamine but I also am easily negatively influenced. 😞
#30
Inability to sleep before any event the next day no matter how unimportant it is
#31
Pattern recognition, re-reading the same sentence/question 10 times and still not understanding, reading a whole page in a book and not even knowing what i read, food hyperfixations, rumination, hating showering because it’s a “big task” for me, not doing anything before a work shift (even if it’s at 4pm) because i’m afraid i won’t have time, listening to the same song over and over, overstimulation by crowds/loudness, getting overwhelmed/frustrated REALLY easily, over analyzing, i could probably think of more.
#32
Getting genuinely obsessed with something for a period of time only to then drop it and start the process all over again with something else that caught your interest.
Randomosity 2 hours ago
I'm sometimes afraid to get obsessed with a fandom because I know I'll eventually lose interest and it could be months before I come back, maybe even longer.
#33
Not wanting to brush my teeth!
Sally Moen 2 hours ago
Add different ways to brush, including cheap electric toothbrushes, baby toothbrush (they are very tiny and soft), foam mouth swabs (used in hospitals and nursing homes for folks that cannot eat but still need their mouths cleaned), finger toothbrushes (similar to a rubber fingertip but with bristles on one side). Even a denture brush, but use lightly. Point is to have a variety of choices and like the other commentor here said, several flavors of toothpaste including non-sweetened (most regular toothpaste is sweetened with saccharin) and fruit flavored. I like to keep a box of baking soda open to use to brush my teeth for times when I cannot stand toothpaste for some reason.
#35
Over explaining 😭😭 I need to keep everything short and sweet but then I feel like I’m not getting my point across good enough.
Zig Zag Wanderer 5 hours ago (edited)
Because people ALWAYS get something about it wrong because they make assumptions. It's frustrating, and that's why I put as much information in the initial description as possible. Definitely makes it less easy to tell or understand, though, so it's counter-productive. Catch 22!
#37
I hate being in the kitchen doing anything if someone else is there😭
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
I just hate being in the kitchen lol but extra if someone is there.
#38
Needing lists of things. If I don’t have my checklist then i’ll probably forget half the things i was supposed to do.
#39
I can’t stand still, I have to rock side to side.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
I'm constantly moving. It's so perplexing to be both extremely exhausted and feel like I can't stop moving or I'll explode.
#40
Extreme sensory issues. Have to be wearing socks 24/7. The air itself is a sensory issue.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
I have extreme sensory issues for all of my senses. I'm the opposite about socks though! I hate them! I wear flip flops as much as possible outside and no socks/slippers inside.
#41
When people are talking interrupting to ask questions. I thought I was actively listening… turns out you have to let people finish their sentences?
Zig Zag Wanderer 4 hours ago
I have a friend (neurodivergent but doesn't realise it) who constantly does this. Unfortunately, his mind works so fast that he can't be patient enough to listen to it all. It outright becomes impossible to tell him a story because of it, unfortunately.
#42
High emotions for everything and having a hard time getting over things… I’d mad for days if you let me.
#43
I can't listen when I'm making eye contact.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
OMG this! Either you want me to LOOK like I'm paying attention or you want me to ACTUALLY listen but not look like I am but you definitely can't have both! Also, don't expect me to speak coherently if you want eye contact while I'm talking; I barely make sense without it. 😵
#44
Coffee. I thought people were lying about their need for coffee in the morning because caffeine does nothing for me.
Colleen Glim 4 hours ago (edited)
Sometimes it’s more about the routine than it is about the caffeine. But don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee
#45
Eating the same option for 3 weeks...then hating it for years 😭😂
Zig Zag Wanderer 5 hours ago
Ha ha! The number of times my cupboard or fridge gets filled with 'that thing I have to have all the time' once I suddenly stop wanting it is crazy!
#46
I don't like lights. I want the house dark no lights. My bedroom is very dark. That's where I want to be
#47
Behavioral pattern recognition and intuitively knowing what decisions people will make before they act. Also, having entire conversations in your head about hypothetical situations that could occur before you attend an event or have the actual conversation.
#49
The constant second guessing of everything I do or feel, making things harder than they are, being able to feel what others are thinking and assuming they hate you, completely underestimating how long it takes to do things.
#51
Captioned speech. I thought everybody spelled spoken words in their head???
Sally Moen 2 hours ago
Closed captions used to be rare before the 1990s in the US, now it's so very common, and I'm very grateful.
#52
Having to listen to something to stimulate my brain so i can go to sleep, otherwise ill just be up thinking about any and everything.
#53
Being able to know instantly when a new person is a not safe person.
#55
Never being able to remember people's names, forgetting words in the middle of speaking, losing track of what I was trying to write because I couldn't write fast enough and my brain won't slow down, forgeting appointment is, forgetting homework. Basically everything that has to do with working memory. I am very lucky to live in a time when supports are readily available and culturally acceptable.
#56
Remembering EVERY. THING. I was well into my thirties before I realized that most people do not remember every single detail of most situations. 😅
Randomosity 2 hours ago
I wish I had that problem. I literally forget something after it's told to me.
#57
Feeling like I’m watching myself live in 3rd person.
#58
Ruminating to the point it keeps me up at night and I make myself physically sick, avoiding eating certain foods altogether bc I don't like the texture, safe foods or "fixation meals", non-linear grief, lack of maintaining a self care schedule and lacking time management... I could keep going but yeah.
#59
CONSTANTLY misplacing/losing things and then consequentially having a full blown meltdown over not finding it as a full grown adult.
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
I've gotten better on the second half of that but it also depends on my level of being overwhelmed at the time.
#61
Chatter in my mind, always thinking always ruminating making up scenarios, making up entire new worlds, navigation skills, time anxiety and being soooo prompt, taking things literally, pattern recognition to point I can tell the future based on it 😅 ocd but messy too.
#62
Not ever having an agenda book or planner work for me longer than maybe three days😂
#63
I am a synesthete – I feel different sounds in my body (pressure/vibration/pulling/...), which I only became aware of when I put on noise-cancelling headphones for the first time and all these bodily sensations suddenly stopped. The sensory overload caused by AuDHS therefore has a double impact.
#66
Being gifted. I could read early, learn multiple languages from library books, do advanced college classes in middle school, and I was a speed reader.
Sally Moen 2 hours ago
Turns out speed reading isn't a job skill needed these days. Nor is being able to read upside down text
#67
I did not realize people genuinely do not see an issue with things being moved/touched. I tell my coworkers constantly "if you use my stuff, put it back EXACTLY where you found it" but they just toss it on my cart instead. it makes me irrationally upset. It's MY STUFF, why are you touching it.
#68
Randomly thinking “touch that object or something really bad will happen.”
TheOGpandaHavana 3 hours ago
Haha! This was me as a kid all the time! It's rare now, but I'm still really superstitious about jinxes.
#69
Avoiding showering because I don’t like the feeling of wet hair. But I love being clean.
Sally Moen 2 hours ago
I imagine the future of cleanliness will appeal to you then, with sonic showers already a reality.
#70
Derealization/depersonalization. Literally thought everyone had those, until I randomly started to ask around and everyone started to look at me like "???" when I described it.
#72
Being able to automatically identify other neurodivergent people.
#73
Needing a plan for every single plan so i know what and when i can do my routine for getting ready and if there’s no plan im extremely confused and don’t know what to do.
#74
Listening to a song 5000 times until you find a new fixation. Repetitive actions (I twirl my hair into a pattern repeatedly) without even thinking about it.
#75
Trying to understand why some people did what they did almost obsessively is so bad learnt to only care about WHAT HAPPENED not WHY it happened.
TheOGpandaHavana 2 hours ago
I make my husband angry regularly by trying to understand why he did or didn't do something. He makes me angry regularly by not being interested in understanding why I did or didn't do something.
#77
Immediate and severe 2nd hand embarrassment even though it has nothing to do with me. Intense and complete full conversations in my head before speaking. Pacing while on the phone. Needing to do everything in order ie there are 3 houses- have to go to house 1, first house 2, second etc., watching the same movie, shows, or books that I know every word to on repeat., unable to wear mismatch socks without anxiety, cutting every nail and filing them because one nail broke.
#78
Always counting 😭😭😭why am I counting how many times I typed A😭😭5 btw
Rick Murray 3 hours ago
Yes. Half the time I forget what I'm counting so have to start again. Music is good for this, especially prog rock - one two three four five six seven one two three four five six seven...
#80
Getting irrationally upset and not being able to comprehend when someone doesn’t like the same things as me.
#81
Moving from room to room and cleaning it my mind was blown when I found out people don’t actually clean this way. I thought it was a flex now I’m cleaning paralyzed.
Sue User 55 minutes ago (edited)
Then the last room looks a wreck because as you cleaned each room, you dumped what doesn't belong in the other rooms. The last room not only has the stuff that belongs there and needs out away but the stuff that needs thrown out and the stuff to be deep sorted.
#85
I thought everyone was aware of how loud they were crunching when eating crunchy things.
#86
My pedantic speech, everyone says I’m “well spoken” no, I have a large vocabulary and speak like this mainly because it brings me comfort knowing nothing I said is left for interpretation. Any misunderstanding is entirely the other person’s fault.
What do you think ?
Zig Zag Wanderer 4 hours ago
My biggest problem was discovering that most people don't think like me. They don't need to understand how things work. They're constantly amazed when I explain the things I have obsessed over, and worked out and they never noticed. It took me years to find this out, and by then ALL my friends are neurodivergent, because they can understand these obsessions!
Lotekguy 3 hours ago
A lot of these seem to be people worrying about abnormalities that aren't really there. Everybody's got a lot more going on inside their head than what they express, or that others can perceive.
Trillian 1 hour ago
And just because you have something as a neurodivergent person doesn't necessarily mean it is a symptom or sign of neurodivergence.
Load More Replies...
David Paterson 2 hours ago (edited)
Few if any of these are remotely "neurodivergent". I have almost all of them. Now excuse me while I publish a lecture on infinite numbers.
Zig Zag Wanderer 4 hours ago
My biggest problem was discovering that most people don't think like me. They don't need to understand how things work. They're constantly amazed when I explain the things I have obsessed over, and worked out and they never noticed. It took me years to find this out, and by then ALL my friends are neurodivergent, because they can understand these obsessions!
Lotekguy 3 hours ago
A lot of these seem to be people worrying about abnormalities that aren't really there. Everybody's got a lot more going on inside their head than what they express, or that others can perceive.
Trillian 1 hour ago
And just because you have something as a neurodivergent person doesn't necessarily mean it is a symptom or sign of neurodivergence.
Load More Replies... David Paterson 2 hours ago (edited)
Few if any of these are remotely "neurodivergent". I have almost all of them. Now excuse me while I publish a lecture on infinite numbers.
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