Get Premium
Dark mode theme is available exclusively for premium users. Learn more about the benefits of subscribing.
No fees, cancel anytime.
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
30 Of The Darkest Secrets These Moms Will Only Reveal Under The Guise Of Anonymity
Being a mom is no easy task. They have to fight the unpredictable tantrums of their kids, keep the whole house afloat, and stay sane while doing all this. You could say, then, being a mother is not that different from being a superhero. But even beloved superheroes sometimes get sloppy and take shortcuts, hoping that their latex-laden contemporaries won't take notice.
Keeping this to themselves, however, can be one of the most nerve-racking things. Superheroes do it because they don't want to put their loved ones in harm's way. Mothers, meanwhile, do it because they feel like they might be judged by other childbearers. "Can everyone share their mom secrets, so that I don’t feel so bad about myself?" pleads u/brookeaat in her Breaking Mom subreddit's post. From bribing kids with extra screen time to co-sleeping with them, there's nothing better than spilling some tea without feeling like you've committed a crime.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
The only battles worth fighting small children over are safety related ones. You want to roll in the mud and eat nothing but doritos for 3 weeks? Go for it. You're going to wear disney princess heels, a swimsuit, a tutu, and a ski hat to the grocery store? Rock on little one. I've been raising kids for 18 years, all different ages and personalities. It just isn't worth the energy to battle them if it's not actually affecting their safety or the safety of others around them.
Ace 2 years ago
This pretty much encapsulates many of the other posts here, so should be at the top, IMO.
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
Eating nothing but doritos for 3 weeks could have impact on their health. I let my kid all kinds of stuff, but at least one normal cooked meal a day is where I draw the line.
Load More Replies...
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
Also, battles over especially bad behaviour e.g. hitting/kicking people or deliberately breaking things.
Skulls.N.Succulents 2 years ago
That would be a safety issue so most definitely.
Load More Replies...
marianne eliza 2 years ago (edited)
I'm there right now, but with my 92 year old father, who is suffering from severe, broad spectrum, dementia. Sometimes though I have to just stand back and let him do what he is intent on doing, even if he could seriously hurt himself, like the basement stairs, or not using walker or cane. And that's because he gets physically violent when he's denied whatever and other than tying him down or hitting him with a tranquilizer blowgun there is no way to stop him. Today he broke into the workroom and got a handsaw and tried to saw open the basement door.
PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago (edited)
He needs to be in a memory care facility with others. Nurses tend to them 24/7. Not sure where you are but assistence grants can be offered to help with finances to pay for it as it would be for remainder of his life. If a military veteran it might even be free. Its not cruel. They need round clock care where its safe. Seen it happen to every eldery person in both me and husbands family. Dementia and Alzheimers are unkind to our brains. Destroys us to see our it happen to our loved ones. Comes to a certain point we cannot care for them at home safely.
Load More Replies...
Agnes Jekyll 2 years ago
I don't think this is a dark secret. This shouldn't be a secret at all.
PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago
Only to non parents bc society shames now days parents if not done old school way.
Load More Replies...
Justin Thyme 2 years ago
Yup. If it ain't gonna kill or maim 'em, let them get it out of their system.
In the grand tapestry that is human experience, few roles can rival the complex and demanding nature of motherhood. The journey of becoming a mother encompasses a multitude of challenges that intertwine with the joys, excruciating pain (during birth and later in life when your kid discovers slapping) and selfless sacrifices that ultimately forge an unbreakable bond between a parent and their bundle of joy.
It is no surprise, then, that being a stay-at-home mom is widely regarded as one of the most strenuous jobs in the world, often likened to the equivalent of 2.5 full-time jobs, as highlighted in a 2018 study conducted by Welch's.
RELATED:
#2
Sometimes I just seriously want everyone in my house to leave me the f**k alone.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
Thankfully, I get to WFH as much as I want, so I often have the place to myself. My wife, on the other hand, has to go into the office every day, so she doesn't get the same luxury. To give her a bit of time alone, I take the kids out in the weekend.
Got Myself 4 Pandas 2 years ago
Yup. Yesterday was one of those days for me, I just needed silence
Be glad im not a waffle 2 years ago
I keep checking who posted these to see if any of them are my mom, because I can see her wanting this stuff on the inside. She's too freaking nice and helpful to say it out loud though.
Siobhan Fitzgerald 2 years ago
I hear you mamma me too 😂 I just want to build a bubble around me sometimes n stay in it for a few minutes
As with every job and routine, then, it's appropriate that sometimes even the best moms take shortcuts to save some time and sanity. "I don't care what my child eats," one mother in the post admitted. "I mean, I care. I try. But it's so draining for me to fight him about food."
Many of them echoed their own stories of bribing kids with screen time and junk food - things that are (technically) considered a no-no when you're responsible for growing a perfectly healthy human being. Indeed, when it comes to discussing parenting strategies with fellow moms, adhering to societal norms can be met with criticism.
#3
I truly hate playing with my kid. I do not want to play Barbies, dolls, or ponies. I can do crafts, coloring, puzzles, dancing. But I hate imaginative play.
lenka 2 years ago
I'm with you. And I hate listening to my kids stories. My son goes on and on and on about stuff that is totally uninteresting to me. I do my best to teach him how to tell a succinct story, or to get to the point of the story, while still encouraging and supporting him but my god its so painful.
B.Nelson 2 years ago
Tell him to draw it out first and color it like a book. Then he can apply imaginative play to art.
Load More Replies...
Suna Amun 2 years ago
I don't know, I feel like this is the part everyone looks forward to when thinking about children. If you don't like playing with them, what is it that you like about children? Most of the other things are making sure their needs are met, is that the part you like best? Maybe it's an unpopular opinion but what made you want to have children if you don't like imaginative play? That's a big part of children's behavior.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
We love playing with our kids in the park, the pool, at an arts & crafts table, on the beach, etc. It's the playing with toys that's incredibly dull. As much as I try, I can't get excited about their action figures.
Load More Replies...
tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
Yes. It's great when we were kids. But as an adult, it's just not fun.
Snoop Catt 2 years ago
Glad it wasn't just me. I really hated being forced to play Barbies. It seemed never ending and wasn't allowed to end the game
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
I feel your pain. Trying to act excited about toys is draining!
#4
My husband cleans the house while I breastfeed my kid to sleep. I almost always lay next to her for a bit longer and scroll on my phone and enjoy her presence until I can hear him finished, so that I don’t have to help. 😜
Paul Neff 2 years ago
Fair is a subjective description. For a working relationship, owing to human ignorance, you should BOTH feel like you are doing 75% of the effort needed, not just your half. Love steps in whenever it is needed, to remind you that from your partner's perspective, they see the reverse, because noone can truly see the full effort made by another.
Load More Replies... Shark Lady 2 years ago
Breastfeeding is tough on your body and mind, your husband doing the cleaning seems like a fair division of labour to me.
Justme 2 years ago
This would only be “unfair” if he comes in to help you breastfeed whenever he happens to finish his chores before you.
Ashley Hardy 2 years ago
You keep changing pronouns sooo, sounds made up or English isn’t your first language.
However, behind closed doors, it remains a mystery how many corners each parent cuts to preserve their sanity and prevent a potential meltdown. Nevertheless, the fact that 64% of mothers feel their parenting choices are sometimes judged by other moms, as revealed by recent data from The Research Moms, it comes as no surprise that many opt to keep their approaches to themselves.
#5
Oh man...
I don't care what my child eats. I mean, I CARE. I TRY. But it's so draining for me to fight him about food. He turned 3 in April and you know what? He gets almost all of the important vitamins/nutrients from smoothies. I hide zucchini and carrots in banana bread. Spinach is tasteless in smoothies. Eats pasta. Refuses veggies most of the time. Will eat chicken if fried or in nugget form but no other meat and no other way. If my child is gonna sit there and eat a whole loaf of bread, I really do not care anymore.
I DO care about his sugar consumption. That's all lol
Toni 2 years ago
i feel this so much. i try everyday, with soooo much patience. i dont fight over food. i prepare healthy meals. he often chooses the not so healthy parts on his plate. i dont force him. but i limit sugar. if he chooses bread over vegetables i accept it. at the moment he loves strawberries and could eat them all day 😁 i am sure if he sees me eating healthy food he will gain an also healthy attitude towards food during growing up.
Sean 2 years ago
definitely. if you are a good example the kid will eventually follow your example
Load More Replies... lenka 2 years ago
It gets better. Just keep serving good healthy food with a mix of things they like and dont like. My daughter was like this at three years old, and four years and five years. She's 10 now and eats pretty much everything. Some things are still not her favourite (tomato, mushrooms, salmon) but she will even eat them depending on the dish.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
This. I'm so glad my kids have nutritional meals and snacks at daycare. They eat everything, their teachers tell me. Something about all of your friends eating the same thing makes them eat without complaint but at home it is corn dogs, nuggets, bread, rice and seaweed. At least the seaweed is good for you
SillyPandaBunny 2 years ago
Start teaching them how to cook/prepare meals early on. Let them help to do meal planning and grocery shopping lists. Not everyone has the same taste in food and that’s ok
James S 2 years ago
My 14yo daughter has got very faddy and picky with food, choosing to eat from a tiny selection. I've chosen not to make an issue of this, as I don't want to make a food a problem for her. I'm well aware that teenage girls are at high risk from developing all kinds of food related mental health problems.
Helen Taylor 2 years ago
When I was young, my dad used to take me out to his garden to help weed. When we finished, he would say "what say we sneak and eat a tomato." Or a carrot or one vegetables we were working in. When my children were young they used to argue who was getting the largest piece of raw vegetable. The trick is, don't make vegetables into a huge thing. And offer them in fun situations.
Lyyyy 2 years ago
For us the ”must taste everything” rule has worked. Another one that works miracles is: After kindergarten the little guys are usually quite hungry, so when we prepare food we first slice whatever raw veggies and fruits to keep them happy for a while (carrots, apples, tomatoes, cucumbers, avocados, bell peppers, watermelon etc.) They can eat half a kilo before we have the ”main course” on the table.
#6
I still sleep in my 2.5 yo room most nights. I put a full bed in there because his twin hurt my back. And honestly, if I’m in there he will sleep all night. Since I’m
The nighttime parent, I’ve decided my sleep is worth being uninterrupted.
I also sometimes lay with him until he falls asleep then go down to visit with husband and watch tv until he inevitably falls asleep on the couch, and I’ll head right back upstairs to kids room before he wakes up calling for me.
Love my husband but this is the season I’m in and I’ve accepted it. It won’t last forever. But I get lots of judging about how my husband must be lonely and some other bs when people find out.
Brocken Blue 2 years ago
Yeah, I can’t believe *that’s* what people are judgey about and not the concept that this dude has apparently quit any efforts at“nighttime parenting” and left it all to her
Load More Replies...
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
Nah, this is really common in many countries. Kids will eventually sleep solo but you are their security blanket
PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago (edited)
Yes agreed. Society likes to shame parents. Co-sleeping goes back hundreds of years. Kids on The Spectrum especially may have many issues and not be good sleepers since in the womb. Parents are exhausted. Then one day they might even become the parent with their own special needs child(ren). It used to take a village to raise kids now parents or even one parent is expected to raise the kids alone in solitude with zero appreciation for every sacrifice they make at the expense of their own health to raise good humans.
Load More Replies... Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
Our youngest is almost 3, and we still co-sleep some nights. We'll do anything to get some sleep.
Tamra 2 years ago
Hell yes! Go long enough without sleep and you'll do anything to get some. We never had a problem with the idea of co-sleeping. Took us 16 years to have our son, so having him close felt like a privilege rather than a chore. But yeah, parents gotta get that sleep!
Load More Replies... DrLivingstonipresume 2 years ago
I did this too and I don't regret it one bit. I have an amazing, amazing kid and it didn't negatively affect or impact my marriage at all. My kid is now 14 and I am thankful everyday I took that time and space to nurture them and honestly to be nurtured by them.
Robert Trebor 2 years ago
And why, oh why, oh why, do other people think they have the right to judge this?
Mommy Panda 2 years ago (edited)
That's why we got a family bed. Our first daughter would cry so hard she would start vomiting if she was left alone in her bed. We got so much "advice" mostly to just let her cry and she would sleep in her own bed eventually. It broke my heart to hear her cry and see her with her arms stretched out to be held. I followed my heart and we bought a big bed we could all sleep in. Followed Mckenna's advice on safe co sleeping. Second kid I didn't even try to make her sleep in her own bed. She slept in our bed, together with her big sister, from day 1. Best decision we ever made. Do what feels right for you and follow your heart, not other peoples advice - as well meant as it might be. Edit: kids are almost 6 and 3 now. Still sleep in our bed, in our arms every night and will be doing so until they want to sleep in their own room/bed. Which is ready for them whenever they are.
longlivethequeen554 2 years ago
My daughter slept in my bed til she was 4 and in my room til she was 7. There's no shame in needing sleep
Julie Blaylock 2 years ago
Put my son in a full-size bed with a rail at 10-months-old because he wouldn’t fall asleep unless I was laying on the floor by his crib. I got tired of it and decided if that’s what it took to get him to sleep, I was going to be comfortable.
"I absolutely think some moms fear judgment from others because we internalize societal pressures the minute we give birth. Scratch that - the minute the pregnancy test turns positive," Vicki Broadbent, the founder of the celebrated blog, Honest Mum, and a mother of three, told Bored Panda in an email.
#7
My daughter lives on broccoli and French fries.
I bathe her twice a week
Teeth brushed once a day
I swear a lot around her
We are all great moms... we just have our own unique styles.
Jason K 2 years ago
Not all moms are great, can we stop just upvoting nonsense because it makes us feel good?
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I had a very troubled relationship with mine and really try to do better by my kids so I don’t take offense to the we are all great moms sentiment because I realized that there are mothers and there are moms… the former being that it’s the woman who birthed you, but really isn’t a nurturing person.
Load More Replies...
Materyst 2 years ago
It's not great to not have an eye on creating healthy habits for your kids. I'm talking about brushing teeth. If the child doesn't learn to do it twice a day, it won't do it as an adult.
Bryn 2 years ago
That's not necessarily true. I brushed my teeth twice a day as a child... as an adult, I don't always
Load More Replies...
Pancake_Pansexual_Panda 2 years ago
My Asian life: Brush my teeth in morning, eat breakfast, usually eat Asian noodles for lunch, anything for dinner, except there is always rice, before I go to sleep I brush my teeth and take a shower. I think kids should take a shower everyday and brush their teeth twice a day, though.
Bryn 2 years ago
Not every child should shower every day though. some children don't need it.
Load More Replies...
Ashley Hardy 2 years ago
My kids brush their teeth twice a day and I’m over the moon if I can get them to bathe more than twice a week but they’re weird pre-teens that are super greasy and weirdly smelly for their age so there’s that 🙄
#8
I mostly watch “adult” shows with my 4 year old every day. I pre-screen episodes (and sometimes skip scenes) so he sees nothing too outrageous, but at this point his favorite shows are Futurama, Bob’s Burgers, Simpsons, and King of the Hill.
Monday 2 years ago
This is how most of us grew up though, there weren't 24 hour kids shows when we were little after all.
Ace 2 years ago
True, for those of us of a certain age or more, but bear in mind that everyday TV content didn't often include the sort of thing that might nowadays be deemed unsuitable for children. Gratuitous swearing, sex and violence on TV were pretty much unheard-of when I was a kid.
Load More Replies... Doris_Deborah_Diane 2 years ago
My at the time 6 year old daughter knew all the words to "Shut your F'in Face Uncle F'er" (South Park). Am I proud of it? No. Is it funny? Yes.
LocalLizard3 (He/They/Xe) 2 years ago
This is how my parents raised me but, with horror films. I watched nightmare on elm at 7 and silence of the lambs at 9. Watched the news with my dad most mornings and nights 8-13. I didn't grow up with much censoring which now I am kinda thankful for since I was able to enter teen and adult years without much struggle over sucky real time events.
tabithapaquette98 2 years ago
I love Futurama and bob's burgers! Two of my favorite shows. And I'm 51f!
not your average weirdo 2 years ago (edited)
Every time me and my dad went on a trip with just the two of us, he let me watch whatever I want, so around age 11 I started watching rick and morty, south park, American dad, the office, forensic files etc. We don't tell my mom tho lol cuz she would freak out
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
As a child of the 70’s I grew up on SNL, George Carlin and Three’s Company, lol
Awesome Rob 2 years ago
This didn't work with mine. He hardly watches any regular TV. I tried getting him to watch all the cool 90's cartoons and that lasted for a few of his early years. He refuses to even try a new show. He's almost a teen now.
The occurrence of bullying among mothers, meanwhile, may be linked to our primal survival instincts. Scientific research suggests that engaging in such behavior can confer an evolutionary advantage by allowing certain individuals within a social group to achieve a higher status at the expense of their peers. You know, the same way that jocks sometimes make fun of drama students in school.
#9
I let the 10mo, the 4yo and the 7yo spend 40mins putting dirt into the snap side pool.
Its filthy. And they are covered in mud.
But I got to make dinner with no interruptions.
Yesterday they got all the chalk wet and made an absolutely horrific mess on the side of the house, porch concrete and every yard toy within reach. Combined with the pool/dirt thing going on today, it looks like a rainbow massacre. Baby has dirt and chalk in his hair.
I had to repot some plants last week so had a potting mix throw down with the leftovers, and then they gathered up the remnants and "potted" some random trash. We finna see if a piece of foil and cutting of a pizza box sprouts any day now.
When I was in the worst of my symptoms from covid 10 days ago, we received my husbands fishtank supplies in a massive box full of packing peanuts. I let them roll around in them and play bumper cars in diaper boxes through the mess.
I frequently let them make huge messes I have to clean up to get some spare minutes or just because its funny.
Jeremy James 2 years ago
Don't throw out the pizza plant, just in case it works! When I was really little, I got so upset with my Mom for throwing out my experiment to clone myself that I had left on my windowsill. She said, "That's not going to work and it's gross." I screamed, "How do you know? Have you ever tried!?" Finally, she said, "Well, why don't you just call Information and ask them for the number to get a new mother!" So I did! The Information Operator was sweet as could be and talked me through my tearful story, saying, "You know, it sounds like you should stick with the Mom you already have. Give her another chance." Mom listened to the whole exchange from around the corner, stifling laughter.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
This is great. I'd love to have an outside area for the kids to destroy. I was never in the house, growing up!
Jennifer Clark 2 years ago
Sounds like they're having fun, and nobody is getting hurt. That's all that matters.
#10
Both my kids slept in the bed with me when they were newborns. With my first I really, really fought it — but my wife deployed a month before my second was born so I was alone that entire first year. She slept with me from the day she came home from the hospital to 6ish months when I (also controversial in mom-groups) sleep trained. I think my *secret* is that… I don’t regret it. I see so many parents on the Reddit get so up in arms about other parents bedsharing and I’m just over here like… huh, wild. It felt like the most natural thing in the world.
Gozer LeGozerian 2 years ago
Yeah, until that kid is squished and unalived
Load More Replies...
Cooking Panda 2 years ago
Whatever floats your boat. I share a bed with my 5yo & 2yo daughters. My husband sleeps in another room (smaller bed). Most time I spend some time with hubby at his room, and when we're done I'd go back to sleep with my kids.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
I'm not so much worried about that, as I am about stories I've heard of parents who rolled over onto their baby in their sleep and smothered them
Siobhan Gournay 2 years ago
Genuinely happened to an ex boyfriend's cousin many years ago. He and his partner were exhausted, brought the baby into the bed and the father smothered the baby. One of the saddest things ever :(
Load More Replies... Lyyyy 2 years ago
Most of the world thinks it is normal to co-sleep with baby. The nurses here told me to do it with my newborn when she and I slept her first night quite badly. I took one side off the crib and attached it to the bed, so there was enough room. You just need to do it right, no sleeping medication, no alcohol, or not a lot of it. It works good, my first one was quite a wild case. She only slept in my arms (and on breast) for first 4 months. If I lowered her in bed or got up and left her there, she was screaming in less than 5 minutes. I tried to get her to sleep in a car or a cot, but she screamed (tried for 30 mins) until her face turned purple and probably she got all her muscles sore too. With co-sleeping I didn’t even need to properly wake up to breastfeed, I didn’t remember waking up most of the nights, but my husband is light sleeper so he did remember. I slept with my babies until they were 2-1,5 years old.
The Starsong Princess 2 years ago
Ever heard the word “overlain”? It was a very common cause of death for babies prior to the twentieth century when babies mostly slept in cribs. It means smothered to death when someone rolls over on them while sleeping. It was so ubiquitous that there was a commonly used word for it.
LoveMyJordy 2 years ago
Oye, in and out with all these baby trends. My bachelor's is in early childhood development (through a fairly prestigious uni) and it was universally understood that co-sleeping is best for both babies and parents. Whatever gets you through the night, right?
Mommy Panda 2 years ago
Still co sleeping with our 3 yr old and almost 6 yr old. Hugs all night long and butterfly kisses in the morning. Wouldn't want it any other way!
"I'm always honest with fellow parents, and three kids in, I'd say I'm confident in my parenting style but I also respect that other mums will parent differently to me and that's okay," Broadbent explained. "I definitely think the longer you parent (one kid or more), the less you fear what I term, 'the back seat parents': those who try to pressurize you into parenting exactly as they do. It's their way or the highway."
#11
Screen time is ongoing at my place. I’m 37weeks pregnant and I don’t think I could do toddlering without blues clues. When this baby comes I def will continue the screen time.
Survival.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
I feel guilty about the amount of screen time we give our boys, but it's the only way we get a little peace or get a chance to get stuff done.
Sakura Windsong 2 years ago
screen time schmeem time, the future is online. the kids who don't get screen time are going to be stunted in a tech-driven world.
Krissy Bulan 2 years ago
Same. My son is 13 now and plays a ton of video games...but my husband and I do too so I can't tell him "no" when we do the same thing :)
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
The only time my kids aren't fighting over toys is when they are watching screens lol
Big Chungus 2 years ago
I always have a tv on in the background be it stuff I watch or cartoons. I really don't care anymore lol he ends up playing with his own toys and not even paying attention to the tv.
Tina Ábrahám 2 years ago
I also feel guilty sometimes about screentime, but i can't manage everything around the house while she tries to climb on me. I get it everytime that they could manage it back then and yes they could, cause mostly they "kicked" the child out of the house as soon as they got breakfast. Unfortunatelly it'd not that safe in these days to do the same, so wr have technology to cope with it somehow. I still read her books and play with her and take her out for walks.
Suna Amun 2 years ago
IMO it's not about how much screen time they get or not it's about also making time to spend with them personally. They are children, they can't tell you what they need, even though they will happily sit and watch something all day doesn't mean they aren't wanting quality time as well.
Maria 2 years ago
You are lucky. I tried that with mine, but nooooooooo... the TV is on, but after 10 minutes here she comes with "Mummy, draw me a bird... a cat... a dinosaur... a rabbit... a dog... a rainbow... with clouds... and flowers... and whatever... can you colour that for me? I'm tired. Are you done working/cooking/going to the toilet? Watch me doing this and that and that other thing..." My child, the TV is on, go watch a movie.
#12
Not sure if this counts. But I want another baby to get a redo of the newborn days. We tried for years to get pregnant with fertility treatments and recurrent loss and I had a traumatic postpartum experience which drastically impacted our bond. Had to rush back to the hospital and was separated from her. Medical issue causing me to go back to the hospital prevented me from breastfeeding and I had no intention of formula feeding prior to this. And when we got back from the hospital she had wicked colic for 3 months and had multiple things wrong with her that took us 3 months to figure out and now she’s a high needs baby. She’s about 9 months and I just now feel like I’m coming out of my ppd fog and just now feel like I actually love my baby. I feel like I got robbed of delighting in the newborn stage, of delighting in my baby at all and I want a do over. I feel guilty as hell for even thinking this because I’m not even a good mom to the baby I have.
F**k now I’m crying 😭
Kirsty 2 years ago
You're a good mum, bad ones don't even stop to question if they are or not. Look at all you've been through in less than a year, you didn't do it for fun, you did it for you're kid, just like all great mum's would x
Hilary Mol 2 years ago
Thank you for this reply. One of my good friends went through a similar hell and she had plenty of family and friends telling her she was doing a good job, she was just fine, etc etc, but she still felt like a horrible mom. Apparently I was the first one to point out the same thing you did - that if she wasn't a good mom, she wouldn't question whether she was being a good mom. Struggle doesn't equal bad, it just equals struggle. You're sweet for reminding OP of this.
Load More Replies...
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
You are a good mum!! It’s your PPD telling you you’re not. Try to ignore it (which I know is easier said than done) and keep going. Hug your baby and treasure the times you have together now
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
Totally understandable. We need so much more support and care for ppd
Doris_Deborah_Diane 2 years ago
I was undiagnosed PPD. 1st baby was colic 7 months, went straight into teething. I averaged about 1 hour sleep daily. It was an AWFUL, AWFUL experience for me. I was terrified it would happen with the 2nd one. I robbed myself of so much time with the worrying that I missed out on the newborn stage with the 1st while pregnant with the 2nd. My 1st is now 28 & we have the most incredible relationship. Don't be so hard on yourself, you WILL make it through & you have so much to look forward to with this child!!! XOXO
SarahBee 2 years ago
Having the kind of medical issues you had just sucks for everyone. But keep in mind - three months is a flash in the pan. You have so many good times and bonding opportunities coming up. For me, the really fun parenting started when my kids personalities started coming out. Have another baby because you want one, not to relive an experience. And be kind to yourself - you got yourself and your baby through that incredibly difficult time. Now you get to reap the rewards.
Chickie 2 years ago
Do not beat yourself up for being human. Let the past stay where it is (behind you). Focus on allowing yourself to be happy and discovering every wonderful phase your child will go through. You enjoying your child will result in them being happy. Take it from someone that had an unhappy mother that always wished for a "do over". I never thought I was important...until I realized she had the problem and I wasn't the problem. Please don't miss out on what you have in front of you now.
BucFan531 2 years ago
After reading this, so many light bulbs went off in my head! I totally get it! THAT'S what I missed! My daughter was a premie and when I got her home I had issues with PPD and not being able to breastfeed and my daughter having awful colic. I had miscarried before and longed for this little baby so hard and then the reality was filled with such anxiety and depression. I tried for years to get pregnant again, but no luck. AND YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT! I want a redo! I wanted that experience back!
Nichole Harris 2 years ago
Ohhhhhh honey... The fact that you're this distraught proves that you love your baby and you really do care! I bet you're an AWESOME mom
Arenite 2 years ago
Babies are not an accessory that you order online and toss when they’re no longer trendy. You are not owed anything. Be a volunteer at a NICU at cuddle babies if you are so desperate for “newborn joy”, although most parents of newborns will laugh at you, if they have enough energy.
According to a 2017 report from the C.S. Mott Children's Hospital National Poll on Children's Health at the University of Michigan, more than two-thirds of mothers with children aged 0-5 (60%) have experienced criticism regarding their parenting choices. The critique encompasses a wide range of topics, spanning from discipline methods to breastfeeding practices. You choose formula over breastmilk? Gasp!
#13
I have a son and I’m having him take dance class next year for many reasons. One is that the other option is gymnastics and I’m worried he’ll be really good at it, and that’s the sport I’m scared of most when it comes to injuries. I know the horror stories so for my own anxiety, please don’t add your horror stories here without a trigger warning. Pretty please. My mil clearly doesn’t want him doing dance because she’s worried he’ll get bullied. He’s 4. Of kids are bullying him, show me their parents because they’re the reason for it. Kids this age love to dance by nature- I teach preschool- they all dance right now. It isn’t until they’re told that dancing is for girls that they stop, and it’s heartbreaking that this happens. I tell my mil he’s dancing because of all the benefits: counting, rhythm, beat, memorization, crossing the midline, listening to directions, working as a team and as an individual… the list goes on. And while she can try and convince me of gymnastics, gymnastics doesn’t always have those things especially at the younger ages. And if he doesn’t enjoy it, it will be his only year.
Jane No Dough 2 years ago
I think dance is a great idea, terrific exercise and an outlet to express joy. I suggest you emphasize film or videos of the many incredible male dancers and young performers to your MIL.
A. Starhawk Hunt 2 years ago
Patrick Swayse. Gregory Hines. Baryshnikov. Nijinsky. Nuff said.
Load More Replies...
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Yes, dancing is for girls like Fred Astaire, Gene Kelly, Rudolf Nureyev, Patrick Swayze, Michael Jackson...all girls, right?
Gabriele Alfredo Pini 2 years ago (edited)
Show you MIL some Roberto Bolle's photos, and dare her to say that he is too girly!
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
Dancing lessons help you learn about your body and trust what your body tells you. If dancing wasn't a natural part of being human, how come babies and little ones automatically move to any music they hear?
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
Dancing and gymnastics are actually pretty close to each other! Many dance recruiters will actually look into gymnastic athletes because a lot of the same skills are worked on for both. My husband was recruited as a dancer when he did gymnastics because his toe points were perfect.
not your average weirdo 2 years ago
Yep! I'm a gymnast and we often go to dance classes to learn extra flexibility and leaps and turns kinda stuff,
Load More Replies... mrsmir 2 years ago
What gymnastic horror stories? I did it forever. Amazing sport. No horror stories here whatsoever.
RedMarbles 2 years ago
I've unfortunately been in a position to read through a large volume of horror stories. Glad you had a good experience, though, which is something I also saw plenty of evidence for. As I understand it, things are also changing at the higher levels as far as how hard they push the athletes, and with respect to eating issues as well as other physical and mental safety measures.
Load More Replies...
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
I taught my son many "girl" tasks, cooking, sewing, flower arranging, how to keep house, laundry - the list is long. When a friend was over my son was fixing a bouquet for the dining room table. She was aghast and whisper asked "are you TRYING to make him gay?" I could not believe the ignorance of this (ex) friend. I told her no, I'm simply trying to make sure he is well rounded and has decent life skills. Oh, and flower arranging doesn't MAKE someone gay, being sexually attracted to a member of the same sex is what "MAKES" you gay. F*cking dumb*ss
#14
• My daughter started sipping off my coffee at 13 months. She’s 6 now. If she asks for an ice coffee when I make my own I make her one too.
• We co slept from birth until she was 5. Her first 3 months were in a recliner. If I set her down she screamed for hours on end. I felt like I was losing my sanity from the exhaustion. That chair saved my life.
• We play a ton of video games together. We both have a Switch and LOVE it. I taught her Animal Crossing and she’s teaching me Minecraft. Sometimes we play for a few hours without breaks. Oops (but we also got a giant backyard water slide so she does get plenty of outdoor exercise I promise)
• I’ve never made her wear pants at home unless we had guests. To this day her go to outfit is a shirt and underwear. She even sleeps that way.
• Sometimes we just have Cinnamon Toast Crunch for breakfast.
Mommy Panda 2 years ago
My kids love coffee too, but I make them a fake, decaf coffee made of grains (tastes the same, they love it). We co sleep too. They're 3 and almost 6 and they can sleep there until they decide they want to sleep in their own bed. They also love running around the house butt naked. Unless we have friends coming over, they can wear (or not wear) whatever they want...
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
I'm 60 and have basically the same wardrobe (I do wear shorts because we have 2 oversized sliders on the main floor and have neighbors) BUT, unless I need to leave the house, I'm not wearing a bra.
CarpeDentum 2 years ago
Wow, this is my childhood almost. I didn't cosleep, but the rest. I started drinking coffee in very small doses and with lots of milk at 2 (so caffeine does nothing for me) and it's still a comfort drink for me. Also, a shirt and underwear is like peak at home fashion. So comfy. I promise, someone raised this way can be a perfectly independent adult.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I grew up with an Italian grandmother who made us coffee milk and pizza fritas for breakfast! Funny the ones that judge people for a small amount of coffee are buying their kids supersized sodas.
Broadbent, who is no stranger to silently being judged by other mothers, believes this is partly because experienced parents like to think they know things better than those who are having their first puke-stained, sleep-deprived rodeo. "Most advice is well-meaning of course but a lot can feel undermining and makes first-time parents in particular second-guess themselves when it's imperative to trust your gut," she said. "Also, do what we need to survive and thrive as a parent juggling an overwhelming mental and physical load."
#15
I regret having my oldest child. He has ruined my life and I’m stuck in a hellscape I never wanted for myself. My literal only hope some days is that he leaves at 18.
Midnightoil 2 years ago
This is important to this mom. Maybe she had an unplanned pregnancy. Maybe sexual abuse. I also wish she could get help for her mental health. Maybe she just found out that motherhood isn't something she enjoys. She still deserves to find happiness....
Omima mimi miki 2 years ago
If my mom ever said that to me - that would crush me . Words are just words but when you are a child they last forever and can be damaging. Now i don't know the context behind this - like if he is an arsonist-kind of person who like to kill animals and purposely tries to hurt you - then who am i to judge lol
Gypsy Lee 2 years ago
This can happen. Stick with him and learn how to forgive. Choose your battles. My son was an amazing baby but hell on earth in his teens. There were days I just wanted him gone because the trouble was relentless. There were reasons for his behavior though. As tough as it was, I stuck it out. Most kids grow up and he was no exception. I know some people continue to be trouble, but most do grow up. He is now the most thoughtful, kind and personable person on earth. Kids are their own person. My daughter was horrible when she was younger but by the time she hit her teens, she was an amazing individual. So they were the reverse of each other; do the best you can, and teach them to be decent people. Ultimately, in the end it is their decision. It does get better. 💜
Florence O'Grady 2 years ago
If you have a child like this, please give quality advice. If you do not have a child like this, keep your trap shut.
Debbie 2 years ago
There is not enough info to judge - Did the child turn to criminal activities and is mom now burdened with debts? What is the reason he ruined her life, I wonder? Therapy won't pay bills.
Load More Replies... Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
I'm sorry you're in this position. BUT - I sincerely hope you have never shared these feelings with your son. It would do more harm than good, trust me.
#16
Oreos or a brownie for breakfast about 3-4 days a week. It’s not worth the meltdown and food refusal. We make up for it with our other meals and she usually doesn’t ask for any other sweets the rest of the day. Besides, I’d rather her have sugar earlier in the day than at night, after dinner, before bed.
sisceal 2 years ago
You can hide zucchini in brownies very well 😄 Doesn't taste any different.
Tim Gearing 2 years ago
Works for me. I open the fridge to get the butter and marmalade for toast and help myself to any chocolate Tim Tams that MIGHT be there from the day before, I’m a biscuit’holic.
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
It's not really worse than all of the sugary cereals many kids eat every morning for breakfast. Plus you have the whole day to work it off, so better than them eating it right before bed.
Exotic Butters 2 years ago
SUGAR DOES NOT CAUSE HYPERACTIVITY. There are zero valid studies that support the fallacy that it does.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago (edited)
I routinely let my kids have leftover pie (usually fresh peach) with whipped cream for breakfast. Same exact ingredients as the Belgian Waffles with fruit at IHOP.
Of course, this also falls down on there not being a perfect formula for raising kids which gives a lot of room for comparison and judgment. A lot of silent tsk tsk's when one sees other moms snapping at their little ones at the playground. Broadbent suggests not minding what others think and trusting your gut. "Find your voice. Politely but firmly shut down those trying to manipulate or pressurize your parenting style," she said.
#17
I'm tired of being nice to my kid all the time. She is like, the nicest lil 6 year old ever. Nice to toddlers. Popular with all ages. Sticks up for others. Would literally give me her last bite of ice cream if I asked.
But, oh, man, I want to scream I DONT F****N CARE!!! the next time she says "Mom, look at me..." do whatever inane thing she's already done 10000x. I want to scream SHUT UP FOR ONE DAMN MINUTE every time she runs out of her limitless words and begins just making stupid noises to entertain herself. I want to say OMG I DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU the next time she hits me with a weaponized "you're weeelllcooom" when she does the barest minimum of anything and I'm supposed to fall over myself with gratitude. I want to ignore her every time she narrates her every friggin action to me, oh hey, she's telling me a riddle right now that makes no sense, oh god it's still going and I'm smiling and pretending to get it. *Ha ha, that's a good one.*
Seriously. The best kid ever. Teacher's favorite. Emotional intelligence far beyond her years. I'm a monster. I would never actually say any of this.
But my poor brain, just let it hear itself think. Just let me be still. Let me stop having to react all the time.
darqemm 2 years ago
Therapy? Something is triggering you and you shouldn't have to feel so crappy all the time.
Lyyyy 2 years ago
This screams that OP doesn’t have enough down time. I know this because sometimes I have exact same feelings towards my 6-year old. Sometimes it feels like my brain becomes overloaded because of work and kids and all the stimulus around and I desperately need some quiet time where I can just let my senses to clear to start to function properly again. And just then my daughter wants to show me how she can count to thousand. There are expectations that we should always, always be available, supportive and interested in everything our kids do.
Load More Replies...
Riani Kivela 2 years ago
Mom of a 9 y/o here, and one thing I have learned is it is okay to say, "Hey honey, I want to listen to your story (joke, etc.) but I can't focus right now. I need some quiet for a while, then I can appreciate your story. Why don't you go do *x* for a while..." Sometimes *X* is screentime or something I don't usually let her do, but it can save my sanity when I'm overwhelmed and need a break. And my daughter loves it when I get my break then go and ask her, "So you were going to tell me your new Twilight Sparkle story idea?"
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I think this is a great idea. There's this expectation to be fully attentive to your kids 100% of your waking day (this does not apply to infants or toddlers) but this is not fully possible.
Load More Replies... Jane No Dough 2 years ago
They have boundless energy and seemingly endless possibilities to look forward to, while we may not. It's very difficult when you're an introverted parent to an extroverted child.
Charlie the Cat 2 years ago
I feel this one. "Dad! Watch me Dad. Dad, Dad, Dad look at me! Hey Dad! Look. Look at this. Watch me Dad." I love you Pandorah, but as the OP said. I DON'T F*****G CARE!!!
Me 2 years ago (edited)
I know what you are talking about. But right now you try to fake your interest, and she will feel it and even try to get more of your attention. Please, for your sanity and for hers: Tell her when you need a break. As written in another comment, it is ok and important to say you need a break. My 4yo twins understood it a lot better than expected and I can show them real interest when my needs are appreciated, too
SillyPandaBunny 2 years ago
You’re doing your kid a disservice by faking it all the time. Show her reality. In the real world, people get tired, people get busy with other things, people have opinions. Everything she does needed be perfect, beautiful, excellent or wonderful. You are allowed to need a break and it’s ok to explain that to your child.
Fernando Álvarez 2 years ago
Run to your therapist! You might be in danger and that child too.
Robin Childers 2 years ago
Maybe the kid does need to just stfu. She needs to know the world does NOT revolve around her and that talking incessantly is a turn off to others.
#18
I use medical cannabis, I have a severe spinal injury that left me with neuropathy in my left leg, I don’t work either I’m a stay at home mom to my 5 and 2 year old. I get judged by my family a lot, even though I use a vape pen or edibles or cannabis oil, I don’t use it around the kids, and at this point with my pain it doesn’t give me a “ high” like everyone assumes, and of course I’ve had to explain again and again that I used to use narcotics and muscle relaxers but they would literally wipe out any energy I had so it wasn’t exactly a solution with kids thrown into everything. I’m very lonely because of it, the injury and my pain management method keep me from getting close to anyone really, and a lot of the cannabis friendly moms I have hung out with make it seem like that’s the only reason they want to hang out in the first place when I really really try to not make it a huge part of my personality or anything like that. I try really hard in the other areas of parenting to compensate for my lack of physical ability, like I can’t run around the back yard with my kids, or even take long walks around the neighborhood or the mall, it just sucks sometimes and I don’t really have anyone other than my husband to vent to.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
I wish I could hang out with this OP. I don't use cannabis but have zero issues with it. Compared to muscle relaxers, cannabis is safer with young kids
Monday 2 years ago
Especially since medical cannabis is designed to give the relief without the high and is really fast acting from what I understand.
Load More Replies...
Mylittlecorgi 2 years ago
Chronic pain is SO isolating! Doing the very best you can as a parent sometimes means you direct traffic from the couch or help make a zoo with stuffed animals on your bed. Your munchkins just want time and attention from you. Keep doing what you need to do to care for yourself, and then your family.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
No one should be judging you. Chronic pain is debilitating, and you've found a way to handle it without the horrible side effects of opioids.
DM 2 years ago
Blah I’ve been using cannabis for medical reasons for a few years and get the same c**p. It’s better than alcohol. You don’t black out and you don’t have a hang over and you don’t lose your mental awareness like with other drugs. Now I don’t care who knows and they can kiss my butt. It’s either that or pharmaceuticals that harm me (cause severe metabolic disorder when I take them). Weed causes…well…not much. Way less than what regular doctors want to kill me with.
karen Young 2 years ago
Better than opiods or meth. And agreed medical cannabis wont get you "high".
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
In CA pretty much all of my parent friends use it. It should’ve never been criminalized. Alcohol is way worse.
SillyPandaBunny 2 years ago
You should have a therapist to vent to and friends to enjoy fun times with.
Finally, if you feel like it's high school all over again, with all-telling glances, smirks and judgmental tones, it might be the case that you're simply in the wrong crowd. It's time to look for a healthy and positive environment. "[Find] other parents who understand you and whose company you enjoy," says Broadbent. "Every day is a school day so be open, but most of all, hang out with those who make you feel happy and who you can be yourself with. Also, learn from your kids because they're the greatest teachers of all."
#19
my 2.5yo had two slices of cheese and an ice cream sandwich for dinner
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
My mom fed us pie for breakfast once. No regrets. Some days are just like that.
RabidChild 2 years ago
Ngl, ice cream sundaes were dinner some nights when my boy was growing up.
SillyPandaBunny 2 years ago
I’m 50 and had a cookie for breakfast. It’s not a big deal. So long as within a week’s period of time your body gets all the nutrients it needs, once in a blue moon non-traditional meal won’t hurt
#20
I let my kids eat as much bacon and eggs as they want. It’s a lot.
AndThenICommented 2 years ago
I wish my kid would eat straight eggs. I have to hide them in veggie slices and even on pizza.
Roland Charron 2 years ago
Why? Kids can be perfectly healthy without eating eggs and there's no nutrient in one food that can't be found in many others.
Load More Replies...
Mel Colley 2 years ago
Careful. That kind of food is easy to love forever but if that habit continues into adulthood, there will be a price to pay
Pancake_Pansexual_Panda 2 years ago
Yum! Bacon and eggs is sooo good. I would love to eat it as much as I want.
#21
I don’t usually bother to put anything more than a diaper on my one year old while we’re at home unless it’s cold or she’s going to bed. She eats in her pjs and they get covered in oatmeal, so I take them off and she just stays like that, not worth the fight and distress of the manhandling that she hates just so I can do even more laundry.
Also it’s interesting how even given the choice to watch as much TV and screens as she wants because I don’t limit it she watches only pretty much an hour a day.
Alyssa Phillips 2 years ago
Agree completely with the clothes point. Mine stayed in those sack-like drawstring gown things as long as I could keep them.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
My neighbours have a 3yo, and he refuses to wear shorts/trousers. He just hates any clothing on his legs. So I often see him leave the house with only a top and nappy (diaper) lol.
Kate Jones 2 years ago
I don't have kids so maybe I just don't get it but if I did have any, I'd buy 20 of the same onesie. I'd keep them in a diaper all summer. They don't even need shoes until they can walk. I will never ever understand expensive clothes for kids, nevermind babies. It's hard enough... Don't make more laundry for yourself. Whatever can do to survive. I read a ridiculous story a few weeks ago about a woman who was ridiculed for washing her baby in the sink instead of buying a baby bathtub and I wanted to punch a wall.
DM 2 years ago
Potty training tip here! Did it with my 3 kids. Winnie the Poo it. Shirt and bare butt and when they pee they actually feel it down their leg and it registers WAY faster than potty training with any bottoms on. I miss living in the woods when we could even do this outside lol. It works! It’s a natural body and in your own private home. Don’t matter what they wear as long as they are comfortable.
Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
Especially if you live in a warm place...just let the kid have their freedom and stay cool. Clothes can be a fight for later.
#22
Screen time. Food. Too many toys. I’m a horrible mother. 🥺
My “in my head” Voice 2 years ago
Your kids still alive? Check. Are they healthy? Check. You pass. Give yourself a break.
Sparks 2 years ago (edited)
You are not. I have a son that is 18. I am not perfect. He's graduating HS. He's got a career path. I tried to give them everything I could. They didn't have fancy anything. His car has 120,000 miles on it. I'm so proud of him and all his struggles. He sat in front of the TV, played games through the night, got through COVID. Learned that no matter your effort - someone else was better. He got screwed by the karate teachers. He got screwed out of playing football. I'm more upset then he is. Kids adapt. All you need to do is what you can and be there for them. Make sure they know you are their greatest fan and advocate for them.
#23
I rarely wash my kiddos hair. I brush it and she takes baths daily, but I can’t justify her screaming every night.
Toni 2 years ago
its not necessary to wash the toddlers hair daily. in my opinion, once a week is enough (unless there was an ice cream accident or similar...)
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
Same here. They don't produce as much oil as adults and daily soaping will cause dry skin
Load More Replies...
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I mean, I don't know any adults who wash their hair daily either. A lot of people only have one wash day for their hair a week, some maybe every other day. And if you have a tender headed kid (I was one) you just do what you need! Unless your kid's hair is full of lice, stinks, or is greasy enough to wring out and fry potatoes, you are fine.
Huddo's sister 2 years ago
My sister hated having her hair washed, she would scream the lace down. Even 'no tears' shampoo bothered her eyes apparently.
Nikki Sevven 2 years ago
Daily baths is a bit much for toddler skin, though. Unless she gets horrendously dirty every day.
Lyyyy 2 years ago (edited)
Yes, too much hygiene doesn’t do anyone good. Example: I live in Finland. We have a lot of allergies and autoimmune diseases. While 10 km away Russian kids have hardly any of these health problems. Researchers gathered that this is because of the exessive hygiene and too sterile an environment in Finland. The bodys defence mechanisms have too little to do, so they begin to attack things they really don’t need to attack. Edit: fixed crucial typo.
Load More Replies... Omima mimi miki 2 years ago
natural oils are better for the scalp - but for kids you can use dry shampoo too ( you don't want them get lice and stuff) but it isn't necessary to wash daily - it actually damages the hair.
Wicked Moon216 2 years ago
If it really needs it and you don't want the fight, just use dry shampoo. It's not good for long term everyday use, but it will do the trick!
Lady of the Mountains 2 years ago (edited)
Is the problem soap in the eyes? Or maybe fear of soap in the eyes?
Lyyyy 2 years ago
Have you heard of ”pick your battles”? It’s not like we NEED our hair to be washed everyday, especially as toddlers. When they get older they’ll learn to cope with hair washing, like looking up so no shampoo gets in their eyes. Or just put some swimming goggles on them, if they are used to them.
Load More Replies... #24
Oooh I have another one.
My baby slept on my chest the entire first 4 months of his life. There was no other way. If he was in his crib, I would stare at him endlessly. Make sure he was breathing. I only ever slept when someone else was home and watching him while he was awake. Once he started rolling around 4 months, I had no choice but to have him sleep in his crib. I watched him sleep every night. At 6 months, I started bedsharing and I was able to sleep more.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
For the first few months, our youngest slept in our arms. It was the only way he (and us) would sleep.
Maebe Maeve 2 years ago
This seems entirely normal to me. We're wired to protect our children and newborns are so vulnerable, letting them sleep in your arms makes a lot of sense to me.
Booker 2 years ago
For their first 2 years, well over 50% of the time after coming home from work and before going to bed including weekends, I'd carry my daughters in a front pack facing out. One of the best things I did as a parent. We had a great relationship as they were growing up and still do.
Candy Sheppard 2 years ago
The whole first year with my first child because I sleep like the dead. But the next 5 babies, nope
Ashley Hardy 2 years ago
My youngest (of 4) was the only one to sleep through the night from birth. I can remember checking on her every 2 hours for the first three weeks because I was sure she was dead 🙄
Cammy Mack 2 years ago
Who willingly gives up sleep and their health just to have children? So weird. I understand the larger picture of our planet, but still...
PrettyJoyBird 2 years ago
Who? Millions of moms. Have a heart to heart with one. Who raised you?
Load More Replies... #25
My son slept in our bed until he was like 13. (Years). Sometimes when he visits (he’s 23 now and turned out fine!!) he will still get in my bed with me and read or watch videos. He also camps out in our bed (on my side) when I’m not there, so I think he just likes our bed.
Gay child 2 years ago
I’m in the 12 to 15 age bracket and still co sleep with mum sometimes. It’s comforting
Sunflower_Bee 2 years ago
It really is! I'm in the same age bracket ish and my childhood may have contributed but I normally nap in there because it is a comfort thing, yes I can take care of myself and whatever but it is a comfort thing
Load More Replies... Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
I'm gonna be honest, my parents bed is a comfort place for me still. That's where we'd end up when we got scared, and when we were older, we'd sit on the edge when we had those deep talks with our parents. It was also the best for jumping on because it was the biggest. I will still sometimes go sit on it and watch videos when they are gone.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
My mom had told me that her cousins family back in the day they all shared a huge family bed. All the kids grew up completely normal and healthy separate lives and if anything it made them all a close family.
JLS 2 years ago
My 10 year old daughter likes to climb into bed with me at night and watch TV until its time for her to go in her bed. It's a comfort for both of us.
Gozer LeGozerian 2 years ago
That's different. She doesn't sleep there all night.
Load More Replies...
DM 2 years ago
I posted this above but I still sleep with my 8YO and what ever. I don’t know when (at least western) society decided this will make them somehow messed up. It’s literally sleeping near someone safe and secure. How is that bad? You cannot convince me it’s bad unless one of the parents is not okay with it. If the parent wants to, stay out of it. Who cares? That’s my opinion on the matter and my other kids were not the same but my last kid has had a lot of trauma so. I love cuddling him.
#26
My toddlers have unlimited TV time. As in.. it’s always on. I needed that background noise and distraction when I was home alone with twins, and now it’s just become a part of our lives.
Alyssa Phillips 2 years ago
We are kind of in the same situation, we constantly have a "background" noise going. Sometimes it's just Moving Art on Netflix (great to fall asleep to as well, can't recommend enough). Just because it's on, doesn't mean we are actively watching 24/7.
BluEyedSeoulite 2 years ago
I'll have a kids dance Playlist and my kids get exercise too
Load More Replies... Toni 2 years ago
i usually dont judge parents. but i must say, this has negative effect on the kiddos brains. especially if they are still small. and, the time they spend watching tv they lose time discovering the world. my two year old watches tv. but usually during weekend or if he is sick. sometimes during week when i am too exhausted.
Monday 2 years ago
Unlimited screen time and permanent screen time isn't the same thing though. Just because a kid is watching as much TV as they want doesn't mean they're not also running around outside and playing with friends. They all get bored of watching cartoons eventually.
Load More Replies... not your average weirdo 2 years ago
I absolutely cannot focus on ANYTHING unless there's background noise. Pretty weird considering I have adhd but having multiple things going on helps me to not get distracted
Wysteria_Rose 2 years ago
I was a kid who had a TV in my room. The tv came on to help wake us up in the mornings, we turned it on after school when parents weren't home from work yet, and it kept us occupied after dinner when parents needed time to decompress after the day. I use it a lot for background noise but I don't believe it hindered us in any way. I still read, did my homework, and went outside.
sylvantic 2 years ago
A few times when I was little I’d have huge cousins sleepovers with my second cousins (I have a lot). My first cousin would leave the TV on all night, and it was miserable lol I can’t sleep that way. But it worked for them. Different strokes for different folks- don’t like it then don’t do it in your house.
karen Young 2 years ago
I am 56 first thing I do is cut TV on. I got to have it except when sleeping.
#27
I put my three year old on one of those little dragon roller coaster things at a carnival today and she haaaaated it and I feel so bad! Like she’s scarred forever 😭 Like I messed her up 😞 I have a three week old and the 5 and 3 year old have gotten yelled too much, I’m so tired between healing and nursing and night feeds. Meanwhile watch all the freaking tv you want. And here sweet girl, have some of my ice cream/soda when you sneak out of bed, shhhhh, don’t tell dad or your brother.
Josh 2 years ago
My dad made me go on a roller coaster when I was maybe 9, because he'd brought me to an amusement park by himself and he really, really wanted to go on just one roller coaster (as an adult, I get wanting to get your kids out of their comfort zones and to enjoy something you enjoy). However, I was terrified and kept my head down and against the lap bar - and managed to give myself a big bruise on my forehead by the end of the coaster. He felt so bad.
Shyla Bouche 2 years ago
When I was two, I rode a children's roller coaster (the hills as tall as an adult knee) and was terrified. I've never been on a real one, and wouldn't go if I could.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
I took my baby on the haunted mansion at Disney. He wasn't scared and particularly fond of the chandeliers lol
#28
My 3 year old gets way more than an hour of screen time some days - especially if her baby sister is having a high maintenance day.
#29
I only breast fed for three months and the whole time we were supplementing formula because I was going through what basically amounts to a psychotic break over the course of ten months.... Thanks PPD. I told the WIC office that I got sick and that cut off my supply. That was the only way they wouldn't judge me.
Also, some nights my husband works my son and I stay up past his bed time and watch TV/eat ice cream together. He's four, I know it's not ideal but I work full time and the guilt eats me alive either way... might as well enjoy some empty calories with my kiddo!
Kariali 2 years ago
I really don't understand why mothers are shamed over feeding formula. A feed baby is a happy baby, no matter if with breast milk or formula. Whatever floats your boat.
Lyyyy 2 years ago
My grandmother didn’t have almost any milk so all her six babies grew up on formula and orange juice… Or whatever the recommendation was in the 50’s-60s.
Load More Replies...
Roland Charron 2 years ago
Whole generations were raised on formula only and were just fine. Don't worry about it.
Big Chungus 2 years ago
I only BF for three months too and I hated it lol it sucks bro. Formula made everything so much easier.
Celtic Pirate Queen 2 years ago
I breast fed my son for about 2 weeks, and even though I ate like a lumberjack, he still wanted to feed every 45 minutes. He was just never full. Apparently, my breast milk wasn't "enough". My Mom heard him crying in the background one day and told me he was hungry. I'm like MA! He just ate! She said she'd be by after work (she's a nurse btw). She showed up with a case of formula and bottles. Kid drank a full 6 ounces and slept for 8 hours. Bye breast feeding!
Gypsy Lee 2 years ago
People expect parents to enter into parenthood like a baby; fresh on earth, with no trauma or mistakes. The truth is parents are human and have lived human lives, which isn’t always pretty. We do the best we can. As long as you are doing the best you can in the time you have to do it you really can’t ask for more. Being a slacker or neglectful is a different story. And, eating ice cream and chilling is not being neglectful or slacking. Everybody needs a break.
Ashley Hardy 2 years ago
I hate that people judge moms for not exclusively breastfeeding. If I had all of my kids would have died of malnutrition without formula as I never made more than 4 ounces max per day. The stigma for using formula is absolutely absurd and unwarranted. Of course any breast milk is wonderful but if you can’t, you can’t. There is no need to berate that mom.
#30
I don’t limit screen time and don’t want to, I feel no guilt over it at all. I don’t care what my kids eat as long as they are fed. I don’t care if they eat sweets, and my daughter will binge on them, and the result is she gets a stomach ache because that’s what happens when you binge on sweets. If we’re not leaving the house we wear pajamas, my daughter will wear the same night gown multiple days depending on her current favorite. I brush her hair after she showers and for school, otherwise I don’t bother because she has sensory issues and doesn’t need to look pretty at home. Swimming counts as bathing in the summer as long as they get a good bath like once a week (or if we have somewhere to be). I give my daughter (8) coffee, because she’s adhd same as me and her meds have lately caused a huge increase in anxiety so we stopped. She has a go to Starbucks order (iced vanilla latte) and we go about once a week.
I’m a stickler about actual safety issues but not things that are morally neutral and just culturally “shameful.”
Mila Preradović 2 years ago
I'm sorry but unlimited screen time, letting your kid binge on sweets till she gets stomach ache and giving coffee to an 8yo is bad parenting, no matter how "liberal" or "modern" we all pretend to be here or how chalenging it is.
Josh 2 years ago
I think the coffee thing for an ADHD kid is fine. Caffeine doesn't affect ADHD people the same way (it often makes me sleepy because it makes my mind less scattered), and meds can be rough for some kids.
Load More Replies...
Beck 2 years ago
Sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. And that "gotta do" is just SURVIVE!"
Alexandra 2 years ago
That's tantamount to saying that her children pose a deathly threat to this mother. Seems a bit crude.
Load More Replies... Lil Miss Hobbit 2 years ago
I agree totally on the swimming thing. No use bathing all the kids all the time when they will just get dirty again. Mom got us clean for church and didn't let us climb into bed with muddy feet.
GlitterPanda 2 years ago
ADHD is a weird one.. I have it and caffeine is the only way I can focus. It doesn't wake me up or make me less tired, it just narrows my bandwidth (that's the best way I can describe it) so I can do one task as opposed to stressing about 16 and not doing any of them
Load More Replies... Delta Dawn 2 years ago
Yes, I demand that my roommates have brushed hair at all times and only eat quinoa and kale. /s
Load More Replies... #31
This is a now defunct secret (thank god) but my then 10 year old refused to comb or brush her (shoulder length) hair for the better part of an entire year, starting just before the pandemic hit. When school went full remote, it was like the point of no return for her hair. The back of her head was one huge mat. I tried everything to get her to let me comb her hair. I probably spent $500 on hair brushes, gentle combs, detangling sprays, even an electric comb. Hours and hours of tears and screaming (on both our parts). Therapy. Nothing would convince her. She is the stubbornest kid in the world. Eventually when the time came to go back to in person school the next school year, she allowed us to cut the mat out and trim her hair. It made the pandemic 1000 times worse, dealing with this nightmare.
Tanya Venter 2 years ago
From a stylist with a daughter. Wash kids hair every second day and condition it with a conditioning spray after drying hair with a towel. Hair will brush out easier when you keep hair clean. Believe me it was a struggle to wash and comb her hair. I bit the bullet and pushed through the fights of her not wanting to wash and comb. It is like brushing teeth, it is part of what has to be done.
sylvantic 2 years ago
As a kid, I would have bad meltdowns every time my mom tried to brush my hair. It hurt so bad. This lasted until I learned how to do it myself/I became old enough that I was supposed to know how to do it. I wish my mom had just cut it off. I had a pixie for 4 years (when I knew how to brush it) and I look good that way.
#32
1. I don't think that screen time is inherently bad and don't limit how much of it my kids get. I limit what they do with their screen time. Twenty minutes of Roblox a day is all anyone needs, but if they get on Minecraft together they'll play nicely and work as a team toward common goals and strategize and problem solve. Why on earth would I be like "no, stop doing that, go back to fighting like you were doing before." 2. My daughter goes through stages where all she will eat is chips and salsa and I just shrug and tell myself that it's a vegetable. Sometimes my husband will doctor the salsa a bit with some meat or beans so she'll get some protein. 3. My son has spent the majority of his summer vacation laying around reading comic books. I don't think he went outside at all last week. Except to go to the library with me to get more comic books. I am fine with this.
Tracy Wallick 2 years ago
Comic books are still books, just with more pictures. As long as it's age-appropriate I don't see any problem with this.
#33
Love this...
- my kids bath maybe once a week or when excessively dirty though we do wash hands frequently
- i rarely wash their hair, too much screaming
- we all have Covid and have screens on 10 hours a day and IDGAF
- i offer my kids treats when i know they will be quiet so i can shower, pee, drink coffee, etc
- i forget to brush their teeth often
But i love them fiercely and they love me. I'm not a perfect mom but i show up for them everyday.
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
I agree with everything, except for the lack of teeth-brushing. If you don't look after their teeth, they will rot, and the kids will be in a lot of pain.
Delta Dawn 2 years ago
My kids did a p**s-poor job with brushing and never got one cavity. They went to the dentist regularly and we have fluoridated water. That makes an enormous difference.
Load More Replies... #34
I let my 15 year old drink. Sometimes. With family and food.
If I -or my mother has- cooked full, fancy, meal, and we’re all sitting down to with either a full bottle or a split, he can have a up to a glass with his meal.
Sandra Morison 2 years ago
Safe environment they can learn to drink responsibly my boys never got stupid drunk as young adults ......did get a bit drunk on occasions. But now as adults they enjoy it responsibly
Sandra Morison 2 years ago
I think this is a very good way to let them try alcohol , idid the same in a safe
Kirsten Kerkhof 2 years ago
I have a 18th-century copy of a housekeeping manual. It recommends making babies drink beer as soon as possible (mix with good milk if necessary), but if at all possible not have them drink coffee before they can walk.
#35
I honestly can’t stand to be around my 8-yo son any more; I don’t like who he is. His behavior is awful and he does things purposely to shock and irritate me. He got mad and threw a toy at me the other night when I sent him to his room for time-out; he threw it so hard that it hit the floor and it bounced up and cut my leg. I feel like an awful mother/human being for feeling this way and it breaks my heart…..I just don’t know what to do with him any more. He’s in counseling and takes medication, but it only does so much.
Sandy D 2 years ago
I would warn him once that if he throws anything at anyone like that again, he will lose that toy for good. If he keeps it up take the rest of his toys. Bag them up and make him earn them back one by one with good behavior. When our son was about 5, he went through a horrible screaming, tantrum throwing, stubborn just awful. We tried all the recommended ways, but no luck
Sandy D 2 years ago
Oops posted too soon. We tried more low key things but it took us taking away most everything he valued away. His room had a bed and bedding, and his clothes were there. The rest were out. It finally got his attention and he hardly had any issues after that.
Load More Replies... Delta Dawn 2 years ago
Gotta keep trying. The more terrible they act, the more they need you. It’s one of the paradoxes that make parenting so hard.
Rick 2 years ago (edited)
I preferred not to negatively discipline my children growing up. However, sometimes taking away something they want or like is the only thing that worked. As parent, you have to be the one that controls the situation until they can prove they are properly responsible.
#36
I was the snarkiest, know-it-all, 'my kids are going to eat what I cook for them', when I saw my niece and nephew being picky eaters. Now I have a child who will not eat veggies, will not eat anything in a sauce (stew, soup, casserole, curry), will pick the herbs off the top of anything in a restaurant. Her favourite food is chips (fries to Americans). Her second favourite food is chicken. I feel so ashamed of having been that person. On the plus side, she's well acclimatised to eating out. As long as they have a 'safe food' on the menu, our pre-children lifestyle of eating out is still intact. It keeps me sane. Edit to add: she won't eat melted cheese. So pizza is off the menu 😩
Monday 2 years ago
Everyone thinks they'll be the parent that gets their kid to eat what they cook....most people end up eating those words instead.
Foxxy Panda 2 years ago
When my daughter was young she would only eat sausages. I cried to my health visitor about it and she said I'd just have to go with it. When my daughter was ready she'll eat other food. Took a year but she was right lol
Delta Dawn 2 years ago
Both of mine were like this thanks to sensory issues and being super-tasters. They DID outgrow it and are quite adventurous eaters now as teens. Do what makes sense in the moment. It’s a marathon, not a sprint.
#37
I let my 2 year old sleep on my butt most nights. 😂 He has a beautiful, wooldland-themed bedroom complete with a large montessori bed, camper-shaped tent, and Hatch machine but he'd rather sleep to cat videos on the couch with my butt as a pillow.
#38
Every morning I let my kid sit in the front seat while I back the car out of our driveway. We stop before we reach the end of the driveway so she can get into her car seat. Brings me joy.
#39
Both my kids are neurodiverse and I feel sad and guilty as hell for giving them my s****y genetics. The youngest was just diagnosed this week and I told few people that I was mostly relieved to get some answers, but I'm also sad that both of them struggle so much with school and friends despite being really bright and sweet kids.
darqemm 2 years ago
My daughter has anxiety and depression and I feel terrible for giving her such crappy genes. I thought my anxiety and depression were abuse and neglect, but apparently it's genetic:( She also got some of my auto immune issues and I'm so so sorry. I would take it on myself if I could.
#40
I coslept on the couch for like..the first year? Baby would sleep on my chest/ breasts, Id be on my back, death gripping my own hands so I could do it. After like 6 months we'd both sleep on floor, or me on couch and baby on boppy. I never really slept though, I was always half asleep at best. I wasnt really..allowed in the bedroom. It wasnt expliciately told that but hed imply that it would "wake him up' and he had to work. (happily divorced now lol) but back then we lived in the living room, with the tv so ...the tv is her first step dad offically. Tbf the tv was my parent growing up too and I learned a f**k load. Thank you Barney. She napped on the boppy. I loved that damn boppy so f****n much. I could bring it everywhere. Kitchen on floor? Check. Bathroom on floor so I could shower? Check. It was my best thing ever.
Jane No Dough 2 years ago
It's a large crescent roll shaped pillow that cradles and supports baby's head, neck and mid-section, like a hug from behind.
Load More Replies...
#41
Aside from the screen time and sodium indulgence (pretzels, seaweed snacks, popcorn, extra salt in soup), now that my 2 yr old goes to her dads for a week I put all of her toys into her room, basically wiping the entire rest or the house of her existence. The physical reminders and lack of her presence is too painful to me, too much of a reminder of the failed family unit. I feel very guilty about that. I smoke weed once she goes to sleep, sometimes even during her nap. She has seen her dad and I get into physical altercations while we were still together. Sometimes I have days where my bipolar depression is crippling and she will watch Peppa Pig all day. Oh and she has always watched shows and movies that were way out of her age range since she was an infant. She loves Cuphead.
#42
I let my son sleep on his stomach before he could fully roll over himself at five months because he just would not sleep any other way.
#43
My 3 year old ate 4 pieces of cheese pizza today. My 2 year old ate two pieces of pizza and two whole cupcakes. My other two year old had a lot of juice.
My secret, I guess, is I let my kids eat a lot of junk at one time. Also 4 pieces of pizza!? It was impressive.
The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl 2 years ago
when I was 2 I ate almost a whole pizza. It was a big pizza too according to my mom.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
Surviving twins takes an incredible amount of work. You’re doing well 🙂
#44
I haven't turned off the tv in 2 weeks. We have been home with covid, so my 3 year old has had unlimited screen time (we normally don't limit it, but we usually go outside for a few hours and do things other than watch tv, but I have not been up for it haha)
#45
I’ve napped on the floor on a makeshift pallet with my baby and it always makes me wish I could bedshare. I love falling asleep looking at her and just knowing she’s next to me. Unfortunately I’m medicated at night so it’s not in the cards, but no judgement here.
Fluffypanda 2 years ago
I was always terrified to bed share. He's 3.5 now so we nap together all the time and the one offs when we travel he'll sleep in the bed with us. He's big enough now to take up as much room as possible and I can reposition him without being scared I'll accidentally break him.
#46
I gave my son distilled water in between feedings to help with hiccups and constipation. He absolutely could not poop without some pure water in his diet. My pediatrician hated me and I left her practice because I disagreed a lot with what she said was "right" for child. I am so happy I left and never looked back at pediatricians... My regular GP was perfectly qualified for our whole family's care
Ellie Hope 2 years ago
Why shouldn't you give a baby water? My daughter had water alongside formula when she was a baby.
Kirsty 2 years ago
There's massive fear things now over how it could kill your baby. All 3 of my kids were born in heat waves, I was advised to have a bottle of distilled water that they could take little sips from from about 2 weeks old. That was advised by gp and around 6 different midwives. But some mum's believe they know better and will scream about how you're killing your child 😑
Load More Replies... #47
I don’t even have the excuse of pregnancy and we have 24/7 screens. I don’t care. I put it on something at least semi-educational whenever I can. If I can’t get something with numbers/science/animals/etc I at least try for stuff where the characters are sharing and helping each other (like Dino Ranch). But sometimes she just watches Cars 3 over and over while I get some chores done. Whatever.
#48
I have discovered that I am not into the baby/toddler stage at all. They’re cute but man is this stage boring as fuq. Everyone is posting their kids on social going “aww stop growing up so fast!” and I’m over here like.. god I can’t wait for my kid to grow up because I want to DO stuff with him.. hiking, playing soccer, etc… I’m the compulsively adventurous type that goes crazy sitting in the house. We are slowly getting there but I feel guilty about how much I hate this stage, because I feel like I’m supposed to be treasuring it.
Cooking Panda 2 years ago
Time flies so fast, and before you realize you'll get to do those stuff with them. SOON ☺
Josh 2 years ago
Then toss your baby into a baby carrier backpack and go hiking. We've taken our kids to the beach since week 1. My spouse and I both have slings/carriers that we prefer and we carry our kids everywhere for the first year - so they can go anywhere we go. As for soccer, our local Y starts soccer teams at age 2. There is plenty to do that you can bring a baby along with, if you stop thinking of your baby as a weight dragging you down.
#49
I'd half charge the iPad and when the battery died they were out of screen time for the day. Now they can turn on computers and the Xbox so they don't use the iPad anymore, but it always bought me enough time in the mornings to have some coffee and get ready.
#51
I am post partum 2 months. I had a c section and took more than a month to recover. I always had help. My baby is EFF and hence, the nannies can take care of her without me. As a result, I didn't have to stay all nights awake with her full time as a nanny would be there. And that makes me feel extremely guilty that I had it easy and didn't do as much for my daughter as new moms do. But I am awake and with her almost 16-18 hours a day, while the nanny helps me out to take care of her.
Nay Wilson 2 years ago
I’ve just done a Google search and, for those who don’t know, EFF means ‘exclusively formula fed’.
Sean 2 years ago
i honestly dont see anything wrong with it, to hire nannies, if you can afford it. they also mainly take care of the child in the night, so idk wh y you would feel guilty. you dont have to suffer through things, if it doesnt have any negative effects on your child and you can prevent it
#52
I pretend I don’t hear my toddler crying when she wakes up at night because I’m a ‘deep sleeper’. I just really don’t want to listen to Show Yourself and be awake for an hour, so I make my husband do it.
#53
Most nights I let my kid come into bed with me earlier than I “should”. Everybody but me wants my kid to sleep in his own bed for the full night. My husband, both sets of grandparents, our family doctor - all making the point that 4 year olds should stay in their bed all night and that they absolutely shouldn’t sleep in their parents bed at all. I’m fine for him to start the night off in his own bed, and stay there for however long he lasts. That’s great - I get cleaning & TV time, and a nice chunk of uninterrupted comfortable sleep. But when my son calls out for me in the night, 90% of the time I’ll bring him straight into bed with me rather than get him back to sleep in his own bed. I have nightly panic attacks thanks to a fear of death - my own and my family’s. I fall asleep listening to podcasts and audiobooks so that my brain doesn’t start to amp up into a panic. I have to check that my son is breathing before I go to bed myself, and if I wake during the night I have to get up and check again. Having him in bed with me means that I always know. Yes, I know I’m probably f*****g my kid up in some way. Something about not being able to self-soothe - that’s what my husband rants about constantly. He thinks that the reason I bring our son into our bed is because I haven’t been able to get him back to sleep. Or that I have a “rule” that I only bring him to bed with us if it’s past 4.30am (husband never checks the time when I bring our kid into our bed, and I use that to my advantage). Sometimes that’s true. But mostly it’s for a purely selfish reason on my part. My sleep mostly sucks once my kid is in with me. He kicks me in the head, takes up tons of room, throws off the doona side that I wake up freezing, gives me very little pillow space, and generally annoys my husband (who, in his defence, does get the majority of the kicking). But it helps keep the panic attacks at bay. It doesn’t always work - at least once this week I lay there, sweating and heart racing, willing him to fall back asleep quickly so I could race to the bathroom and throw up - but it does help. The only person who knows about this is my psychologist, who is working with me to curb the panic attacks so I can actually get some decent sleep for once. My kid f*****g loves it - and honestly I don’t think I’m doing him too much of a disservice (on the nights I do put him back to sleep in his own bed he is completely fine, and I hear him put himself back to sleep sometimes when he wakes but doesn’t fully scream out for me). At some point he’s going to be too old to want to snuggle in bed with me - life goes past so quickly and he’ll be a tween before I know it, so I’m going to get the cuddles while I can. But I get so much judgement from everyone else in my life that I’ll never admit (outside here!) that I don’t discourage him coming into my bed in the middle of the night.
#54
I'm pregnant and still eat sushi and drink diet coke. Sorry not sorry.
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I spent a few months in Japan and there were pregnant women eating sushi everywhere lol
Fluffypanda 2 years ago
I couldn't give up my coffee. And I ate sushi ... just avoided the raw stuff and I craved Jersey Mikes subs (haven't had one since and that was 4 years ago)
Toni 2 years ago
i am pregnant and i sometimes eat smoked salmon (i know i shouldnt). i drink 1-2 cups of coffee daily (ca 200mg caffein per day are ok).
Spencer's slave 2 years ago
I drank black espresso, ate literal gallons of mayo with everything including roast beef and gravy and my two were and are absolutely fine.
Load More Replies... #55
No screen limitations in my house. That’s how we get to have a life! Kids thrive at school. I’m a teacher so should “know better” but I’m also a human mom who is not on the clock once she gets home, lol.
Fluffypanda 2 years ago
My sons pediatrician is like this. She'll start with "the APA recommends xyz but as a mom who did this 3 times, I found abc works" I love her
#56
I keep the TV on all day with more adult shows (currently watching through Charmed), kid shows and movies. I let my 4 year old pass out on the couch in the living room while watching an ASMR video on YouTube then carry her to her bedroom because she doesn't fight with us about going to bed. I sleep trained my 8 month old (this feels taboo). I will never push college on my kids because I don't think it's necessary to be successful or make a decent living (my husband feels the same).
#57
I coslept with my baby. I don't care at all about screen time. I allow a fun amount of treats and juice. I don't encourage sharing of her own things (public play equipment or shared toys is different). I let my toddler roam through the store with me as long as she is in eyesight. She plays video games on my phone.
#58
I don't limit screen time for my toddlers (3 and 2) the same as I did for their older brothers because I'm just burnt out. I don't make any of them eat vegetables every day. I will throw my shoe at my 3 year olds knees to trip him so I have an advantage when I'm chasing him down. My 2 year old has learned that I'm probably not coming to help her with things unless she pulls my shirt and gets me to come with her right then. My 5 year old hates people and I encourage it. My 7 year old is excessively competitive and driven by money and we extort that by paying him to clean rooms for a dollar or to race me in cleaning a room. My 3 year old is very trying and sometimes when I put him in timeout he puts himself down for nap and I love it. My 2 year old has eaten just the icing off at least 2 cupcakes today.
Daffydillz~ 2 years ago
Beyond everything else, throwing their shoes at their 3 year olds knees to trip him up is abuse. Anything could happen if he falls the wrong way. I just can't imagine a mother or father thinking it's a good idea. I hope someone else finds out or he tells someone, sooner rather than later. It needs to stop before he gets hurt badly.
#59
Oh where to start… How about this; when my four year old won’t eat I will sing, to the tune of “Show yourself” from Frozen 2… “Feed yourself, or I’m going to smack you!”
#60
My 18 month old eats a pouch for breakfast every morning and lives off of snacks We don’t go to the park often (I work all the time and hubby has severe social anxiety) so she just plays on the balcony I use small amount of weed vape to get through the worst of my pregnancy The tv is always on Sometimes I catch my kid on the iPad while the tv is on and I take the opportunity to sit in another room in quiet I don’t wipe pee bums unless there’s a shart or it is necessary I’m not crazy about managing sugar intake, I mean ya I water down juice but if she wants a popsicle she can have a damn popsicle Sometimes if we don’t have a bath that day I forget to brush her teeth If we aren’t leaving the house sometimes she rocks a diaper all day, makes potty training and my life a lot easier We don’t baby proof we just set boundaries and regret it later
#61
Kids wear the same clothes for school and sleep 2 days straight because we bath every other day and I’m too lazy to change their clothes other than after bathing or if very dirty. I only brush their teeth once a day. I ditched safe sleep because my first had horrible flat head, my second slept so much better in his stomach, and my third I didn’t even try safe sleep and I don’t feel guilty at all. I also sometimes drink too much while watching the kids. That I feel guilty about.
What do you think ?
sturmwesen 2 years ago
Dirty after playing? It just means they had fun. PJ days? Sure. But coffee for babies? What the heck are these mothers thinking?
The Thing 2 years ago
I was born in the nineties. My parents had never heard of autism. I had a lot of eating issues and I acted way different than other kids. My mom didn't know what was wrong but still loved me. My dad was abusive and I didn't want to bother my mom with the mental issues I was having. I didn't figure out I was autistic until I was in my mid twenties. I feel bad for not being a normal child and making life hard for my abused mom.
James S 2 years ago
I've brought up two daughters, and sometimes TV and pizza is all I could manage for them. That is OK. Just don't make it routine and make sure they wash, brush their teeth, have clean clothes, learn good manners and go to school. The "shiny happy family" stuff I did when I could.
Suzy Creamcheese 2 years ago
Nothing brings the self-righteous "my way is the right way" twits crawling out of the woodwork quite like parenting discussions. No matter what your parenting style, it's guaranteed there'll be some ning-nong telling you it's wrong. ;-)
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I grew up in the 70’s and I would double dog DARE a mother to tell another mother how to raise their kid… only mother in laws did that lol
Load More Replies... Ellie Hope 2 years ago
I also weaned my daughter at 3 months old, apparently now they advise 8 months old.
Hphizzle 2 years ago
Does anyone know the toxicity of cannabis in regards to young children? Like does smoking it during pregnancy have a huge impact on the fetus ( similar to tobacco?)? How serious is an accidental intake of a small amount (edible/gummy) for say a toddler? Not being critical, just uninformed. I was surprised by the amount of cannabis on this post.
General Anaesthesia 2 years ago (edited)
"The main active chemical of marijuana (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol [THC]) readily crosses the placenta, and cannabinoid receptors have been identified in fetal brain and placenta. As a result, prenatal marijuana use could potentially have detrimental impact on fetal development." - National Institutes of Health (US) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7090387/
Load More Replies... lenka 2 years ago
To all the mums out there, just in case there was any doubt... these are all almost entirely within the realm of normal parenting. There is nothing to judge and no reason for you to pay any attention to those who do. You do your best and you f**k up sometimes and that's part of literally everything we do as human beings. Just love your kids and show up when they need you. You are enough xoxo
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
I hate the parent guilts. They eat away at me. We had our second kid when our first was almost three. Before our second was born, we were in a great place. Our first was more independent, sleeping through the night, and we were getting free childcare hours. When our second came along, we were back to square one. I'm ashamed to admit, but (at 3am after his third time waking up), I whispered to our second, "You ruined everything." Of course, I am head-over-heels in love him (he's almost 3), but I still feel guilty about my resentment.
Robert K 2 years ago
I am always baffled by parents who have these kids. Okay, they're entitled, infuriating, unable to function in society - I get all that. Barring an actual emotional / mental condition, they are the results of the parent(s) action or inaction. They are literally the creature of your own making. YOU MADE THIS and then you wish to dump your hell-spawn on the rest of society to contend with (and likely support) - THANKS FOR THAT.
sturmwesen 2 years ago
Dirty after playing? It just means they had fun. PJ days? Sure. But coffee for babies? What the heck are these mothers thinking?
The Thing 2 years ago
I was born in the nineties. My parents had never heard of autism. I had a lot of eating issues and I acted way different than other kids. My mom didn't know what was wrong but still loved me. My dad was abusive and I didn't want to bother my mom with the mental issues I was having. I didn't figure out I was autistic until I was in my mid twenties. I feel bad for not being a normal child and making life hard for my abused mom.
James S 2 years ago
I've brought up two daughters, and sometimes TV and pizza is all I could manage for them. That is OK. Just don't make it routine and make sure they wash, brush their teeth, have clean clothes, learn good manners and go to school. The "shiny happy family" stuff I did when I could.
Suzy Creamcheese 2 years ago
Nothing brings the self-righteous "my way is the right way" twits crawling out of the woodwork quite like parenting discussions. No matter what your parenting style, it's guaranteed there'll be some ning-nong telling you it's wrong. ;-)
Amy Taylor 2 years ago
I grew up in the 70’s and I would double dog DARE a mother to tell another mother how to raise their kid… only mother in laws did that lol
Load More Replies... Ellie Hope 2 years ago
I also weaned my daughter at 3 months old, apparently now they advise 8 months old.
Hphizzle 2 years ago
Does anyone know the toxicity of cannabis in regards to young children? Like does smoking it during pregnancy have a huge impact on the fetus ( similar to tobacco?)? How serious is an accidental intake of a small amount (edible/gummy) for say a toddler? Not being critical, just uninformed. I was surprised by the amount of cannabis on this post.
General Anaesthesia 2 years ago (edited)
"The main active chemical of marijuana (delta-9-tetrahydrocannabinol [THC]) readily crosses the placenta, and cannabinoid receptors have been identified in fetal brain and placenta. As a result, prenatal marijuana use could potentially have detrimental impact on fetal development." - National Institutes of Health (US) https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7090387/
Load More Replies... lenka 2 years ago
To all the mums out there, just in case there was any doubt... these are all almost entirely within the realm of normal parenting. There is nothing to judge and no reason for you to pay any attention to those who do. You do your best and you f**k up sometimes and that's part of literally everything we do as human beings. Just love your kids and show up when they need you. You are enough xoxo
Brendan (banned for downvotes) 2 years ago
I hate the parent guilts. They eat away at me. We had our second kid when our first was almost three. Before our second was born, we were in a great place. Our first was more independent, sleeping through the night, and we were getting free childcare hours. When our second came along, we were back to square one. I'm ashamed to admit, but (at 3am after his third time waking up), I whispered to our second, "You ruined everything." Of course, I am head-over-heels in love him (he's almost 3), but I still feel guilty about my resentment.
Robert K 2 years ago
I am always baffled by parents who have these kids. Okay, they're entitled, infuriating, unable to function in society - I get all that. Barring an actual emotional / mental condition, they are the results of the parent(s) action or inaction. They are literally the creature of your own making. YOU MADE THIS and then you wish to dump your hell-spawn on the rest of society to contend with (and likely support) - THANKS FOR THAT.
Related on Bored Panda
