Mom Shares Her Controversial Take On Kids’ Birthday Parties, Gets Slammed
Interview With Author
Celebrating birthdays is something billions of people across the world do every year. Whether you prefer to throw a huge party with all of your friends or have a quiet night at home with your partner and some delicious cake, as long as you feel loved, there’s no wrong way to celebrate your special day.
While many of us choose to host a gathering when we turn a year older, one mom recently shared on TikTok that she won’t be throwing her daughter a party every single year. Below, you’ll find the controversial video that Marissa Light posted, as well as a conversation with Marissa and some of the responses that invested viewers shared.
Many children look forward to celebrating their birthday the entire year
Image credits: Vlada Karpovich (not the actual image)
So this mom shocked the internet by revealing that she only plans to throw two birthday parties for her daughter
Image credits: marissalight
“Under no circumstances will I be throwing my daughter a birthday party every single year. Here’s the deal, she is getting a first birthday party, and she is getting a sweet 16. And she is getting a graduation party. Other than that, she is not getting any more birthday parties.”
Image credits: marissalight
“Now, I have been to many children’s birthday parties, whether they were three, whether they were seven, whether they were 12, whether it be family, whether it be friends, and I’m sorry, but as someone who did not have a kid at the time, they were not enjoyable. And I don’t even think the kid noticed that I was there.”
Image credits: marissalight
“I am not going to force that on my friends and family. Now look, if you are someone who genuinely enjoys throwing your child a birthday party, pop off queen, do what you want to do. I’m not telling anyone else how to live their lives, I just personally don’t find it necessary. And I’m not going to be doing it. My daughter will be loved and celebrated on her birthday every single year. It just won’t be in that way.”
Image credits: marissalight
“We are moving on to a family compound with my mom, my dad, my brother, my sister-in-law, my two nephews, one on the way. And we will have dinner and cake with them every single year to celebrate my daughter’s birthday. And every year on her birthday, we’re going to do a Daisy Day or an All About You Day, we are going to make her a special breakfast, we are going to talk to her beforehand and figure out what she wants to do with her day.”
Image credits: marissalight
“When siblings come, we’re gonna allow her to choose whether she wants someone to watch them or whether she wants them to come and participate in whatever activity we’re doing, princess dress-up, trampoline park, et cetera, we are then going to go shopping, she’s gonna get to pick out a couple of toys, she’s gonna get to pick out a couple outfits, whatever she wants to buy. She’s then going to choose where she wants to have dinner. And we will go out and have a nice celebratory one-on-one dinner with her where she can just have our full undivided attention. And I feel that that’s just so much more fun and so much more genuine and a much better way, personally, to spend time with her and celebrate her on her birthday.”
Image credits: marissalight
“Now let’s say she gets to the age where she starts making some friends. She’s being invited to some birthday parties that she’s going to, and she wants to have a birthday party of her own, she is going to get the choice between a Daisy day or birthday party, you can have a nice birthday party and invite all of your friends and we will go all out. Or we can continue and you can have a Daisy day and she gets to choose between the two. She’ll still get a present for her birthday, just something that we pick out instead of going shopping. And she’ll have a party, or she will get to do her whole day of activities and shopping and dinner that she gets to do every year. And she’ll get to decide. I think that’s fair. I think it’s fun. And I think it’s a great way to celebrate her and spend some one-on-one time that she probably needs.”
Image credits: marissalight
“And we plan on doing it with any siblings that are to come. And again, if you’d like to throw yearly parties, throw yearly parties. I’m just saying, as someone who has been to a lot of them, and kind of felt obligated to be at them, I’m just not going to be doing it. It’s a lot of stress on my part to organize and plan and put on the party.”
Image credits: marissalight
“And I’m not going to be doing that to my friends who don’t even have children, my family, whose children will be older. I just don’t want a bunch of people sitting around at my house all day. I’d rather just let my daughter celebrate in a way that she wants to celebrate.”
Image credits: marissalight
Image credits: marissalight
You can hear Marissa’s full explanation right here
@marissalight It’s been a minute since I’ve given you a #hotmomtake … you’re welcome. #babybirthdayparty #momsoftiktok #momtok #firsttimemom #sahm #momcontent #millenialmom #birthdayparty ♬ original sound – Marissa | Lifestyle | SAHM
“There are so many other ways to make my daughter feel special on her birthday”
To learn more about what inspired Marissa to share this video in the first place, we reached out to her via email, and lucky for us, she was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. “I consistently share my general thoughts on parenting, my plans for the future, etc.,” she explained. “This one just happened to take off, but this isn’t anything out of the ordinary for my page.”
We were also curious what Marissa’s experiences were like with birthday parties as a child. “I did not have yearly birthday parties,” she shared. “We were often on vacation, since I’m a summer birthday, and typically got to choose an activity and where we ate dinner for my birthday. Any of my friends didn’t have yearly birthday parties either.”
As far as the reactions that Marissa’s video received, she says she was surprised people were so angry about it. “I don’t think not throwing yearly birthday parties is that uncommon, and judging by the positive comments that assumption is correct,” she told Bored Panda. “I have nothing against birthday parties, it’s just our personal preference for giving our daughter choices as she grows up.”
“A lot of people seem to think I hate birthday parties because I didn’t enjoy being at kids’ birthday parties as an adult, which is really not the case and has been clarified more than once,” Marissa added. “I’m a stay-at-home mom, my daughter doesn’t have daycare friends, etc. Also, the majority of my friends don’t have kids, and my family members’ kids are involved in sports, etc. and live an hour or more away.”
“These are the people who would be invited to yearly birthday parties until my daughter is old enough to have friends through sports, etc.,” the mom went on to explain. “It’s just not convenient for everyone, and there are so many other ways to make my daughter feel special on her birthday and ensure she has a lot of fun. I’d rather spend the time and money on planning a special day all about her and what she actually wants.”
Having a party can be a wonderful way for children to feel special on their birthday
The tradition of celebrating birthdays has been around for thousands of years. Apparently, Pharaoh’s birthday was a big deal back in Ancient Egypt, and later, Ancient Greeks adopted the tradition of celebrating the birthdays of gods and goddesses. As far as we know, Rome was the first society to begin celebrating the birthdays of non-religious men, and in the 12th century, women were finally able to start celebrating their birthdays as well.
Nowadays, it’s expected for all of us to do something festive on our birthdays. That doesn’t necessarily mean throwing a party, but that is one of the best ways to celebrate, especially for kids. According to Exceptional Explorers, having a birthday party can help kids build a sense of identity and self-worth. Feeling loved is so important, and having at least one day out of the year where kiddos get to feel special and appreciated can be wonderful for them.
Birthday parties can also foster social skills and relationships for children. They provide a setting for kids to interact outside of school and allow them to bond over playing games, sharing cake and doing something purely for fun. These occasions can help kids learn gratitude and appreciation as well. They’ll have to thank everyone for coming to their gathering, and it’s wise to write thank you notes to everyone who brought presents as well.
Image credits: Gustavo Fring (not the actual image)
But there are many ways that families can choose to celebrate
Birthday parties allow kids to make lasting memories and instill a sense of tradition and ritual as well. There’s no obligation to celebrate your own birthday, but why not find one more day in the year to eat cake, gather with loved ones and feel special? However, it’s not necessary to throw a party to get into the birthday mood, as Marissa mentions in her video.
A great alternative is having an “all about you” day, like Marissa described, where her daughter gets to choose the events of the day, go shopping, eat her favorite meal and feel loved all day. This is actually exactly what I did for many birthdays as a child, instead of throwing a party every year. I had a summer birthday, and it was hard to get in touch with school friends during that time. Plus, many were often away on vacation during the week of my birthday. Going shopping with my mom and grandmother was what I often chose instead, and those birthdays are some of my favorite memories from childhood.
The Working Parent’s Guide explains on their site that skipping the tradition of throwing a birthday party means eliminating a lot of stress that comes with planning, skipping the politics of who is and isn’t invited, saving money, avoiding the influx of “well-meaning but often unnecessary” presents and allows families to become more creative in how they celebrate.
Image credits: cottonbro studio (not the actual image)
Parties can be stressful and expensive, so many kids opt for alternatives that can be just as much fun
Instead, children might prefer getting one special gift that costs as much as a party might have, going on an excursion to the zoo or a museum, watching their favorite movie or TV show, going shopping, eating out at their favorite restaurant or having one day off of school.
According to MarketWatch, the average children’s birthday party costs a whopping $400, not including presents, which can be a huge burden on parents. And a survey from YouGov found that a third of Americans believe parents put too much effort into kids’ parties nowadays. A birthday party can be a great way to celebrate your special day, but it’s certainly not the only way.
Everyone should feel loved and appreciated when turning a year older, but there are ways to celebrate your children’s milestones without inviting over their entire class from school or spending hundreds of dollars on food, activities and entertainment. We would love to hear your thoughts on Marissa’s video in the comments below, pandas. Do you think children should have birthday parties every single year? Feel free to share, and then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article discussing birthday party drama, look no further than right here.
Image credits: Sam Lion (not the actual image)
Many viewers disagreed with Marissa and shared how important birthday parties can be
However, some agreed that parties aren’t necessary to celebrate
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Right?! I'm confused. And you could stil give a birthday party but keep the guest list small? I declined all kid birthday parties except from my 2 nieces, best decision ever!
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what a load of toss telling her she's a bad mother for not confirming to societal pressure and having a party plus the finance that comes from those nowadays. You're celebrating your child, other kids just want food and other mothers just want someone else to look after their kids for a couple of hours... She is being given the option when she is older - you can tell some people didn't read/understand the article fully. And when you have that many family members over anyway - that's a party.
Birthday parties for kids are a new thing. They were rare in the 70's and 80's. Another crappy thing from America. We used to get a cake and presents and fuss from family. That was enough.
Myself and all my friends had birthday parties in the 80s... didn't have to be a huge expense, no-one paid for fancy entertainers, but we had friends over, music and cake.
Load More Replies... Let me rephrase that title for you: "Mom says she won´t invite the whole family to her daughter's birthday". Seriously, what a non-sensical post, she says she's not throwing her a birthday party, and then goes on to describe that she is actually throwing her a normal birthday party, only without inviting lots of family.
So, no BD parties for the little girl, because adults can't fully enjoy or something.
A birthday party can be classed as something big or small, it depends on how you look at it. My kid doesn't like large groups of people, so just has 2 friends each year that they celebrate with. They consider that their birthday party. My friends kids have 10-15 people at theirs, they consider that a party. It's just a celebration of that person with a gathering of people, be it big or small.
My parents offered us the same deal and it was perfect. My brother liked having a party and I liked a day out with family and one friend. It took all the stress away, I hated the whole party thing, the games were boring and I didn't like most kids in my class. I absolutely loved the days out though, and still cherish the experiences. Making a point to give the kid options is excellent.
I couldn't read all her nonsense, but I somewhat agree. My son's 14. He had a 1st, 10th and 13th birthday party. I'll give him a 16th (if he wants) and a graduation party. I get anxiety over planning and I just couldn't do it every year. He never minded either as long as we got to go out to a restaurant of his choosing. I had a cousin who had big ones every year, even hiring a petting zoo, twice. Spending that much on a 3 y/o for a zoo is crazy when the kid won't even remember. I grew up in the 80's and only had parties on milestone years. I never understood yearly parties.
Presumably this is based on wildly extravagant expectations, but if that's the motivation why not just plan to have DIY parties at home without expensive gifts for all, professional entertainment or a costly venue?
Yeah my birthday parties were never a super extravagant Instagram deal, just family over at the house and a cake my mom made with some pizza and chips. Maybe a bounce house when I was little. I still had an amazing time and felt super special.
Load More Replies... I think outside of US it is not a big deal, rather perfectly normal. US moms and social media which is dominated by thempressures others into this.I grew up in an EU country, never had such a bday party like with friends or classmates, only with the family until we were like 10 years old. After that only close family celebrated it, and even I had friends I never wanted such a big look at me this is my special day celebrations.... Sorry for my unpopular opinion.
I'm from an EU country as well, and we definitely had yearly birthday parties with friends in elementary school. Way before the existence of social media. I always find it so weird when somebody else from Europe generalizes all those countries, when there are so many different cultures and experiences.
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I had NO birthday parties growing up, and I didn't get upset about it. I actually didn't care about having a birthday party, much less every year. Why society has to make such a big deal about kids getting a year older by making it a "social event" is beyond me.
Same here: I was the quiet kid and always sat somewhere to the side at other kid's parties. That's why my parents stopped throwing me a party: none of my classmates had the same interests, and I'd feel better spending the day reading in the attic ^_^ ▪️▪️▪️It's completely nuts to throw a $400 party like mentioned in the article. If you've got hyper kids, tire them out with sports and physical games. If you've got bookish kids, have something like a museum trip, or an interesting trivia scavenger hunt through your own town.
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When we moved into our new house (which happened to be hubs' grandmother's house previously) we threw a huge birthday party for our son (he turned 5) and invited alllllll the family. Nobody showed up from hubs' family except his parents and grandparents. Kid was disappointed, as the previous years it had been at grandparents house and everyone showed up, but ignored/excluded me and hubs. After that we said no more parties, we do what HE wants on his birthday. When he was little, it was Chuck E Cheese with us and hubs' parents (mine are no longer around). Now it's a gaming center with laser tag! But no more of those stupid family parties since most of the family hate us!
First of all, why do people put all of their damn business on social media, do they really think the world f*****g cares? Second, did you really need to super close up selfies? Wow, could you possibly get that camera any closer? You are clearly in need of attention......
I don't understand what's the big deal. As a little kid, I'd want to have a day to myself. As a teenager, I'd want a party. This kid has a choice, I didn't.
She thinks birthday parties are just that cringe a*s balloon and bouncy house setup where the entire extended family and whole neighborhood attends. That isn’t a birthday party, that’s just showing off for social media. A birthday party is exactly what she described as NOT a birthday party - dinner and cake with family plus some friends your own age over. That’s always been a birthday party pre social media.
What about all of us that had birthday parties in the 80s? Those were for social media too? Don't generalise just because you didn't have it.
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I've never done a "party" for my kids in the sense that we invite a stupid amount of people and decorate and all that jazz. It's just dinner of their choice and maybe a sleepover friend (depending on their age). I think all this mom is saying is that she doesn't feel the necessity to make a huge thing out of birthdays. Besides, the younger they are, the less they care. Anything under 3 barely needs acknowledgement at all.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I actually used my finger width and tried to measure my eyebrows in normal position and raised. Even raised, they are nowhere near the middle of my forehead!
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Well I personally would love this because I’m an introvert and panic at parties.
Not every child is crazy about classic birthday parties. Just observe how your kid is and celebrate accordingly. ▪️▪️▪️I was the quiet kid, and I didn't like all the noise and activity at kid's parties. There are a few pics in the family album of me at other kid's birthday parties. I was always trying to stay out of the worst of the mess, and cuddling with the family dog. That's why we didn't throw any parties for me. ▪️▪️▪️As a teenager I became friends with some of our teachers: they lived in our neighbourhood and we often cycled to school together. They asked my mum if I could help with the catering at their parties. Now those were fun! Nobody trying to pull teenage stunts, and great conversation ^_^ ▪️▪️▪️Spending $400 on a party is crazy though. If the kids are hyper, organise games. Their parents will thank you for letting them tire themselves out. If you've got a group of quiet kids, do something like visiting a museum or science fun.
As a child with a sibling who's birthday was the same week as mine I never had a separate acknowledgement of my birthday after the age of 5. I would have loved to have had a day just for myself. I'm an introvert so parties don't appeal to me either. I just don't get what this mom is trying to argue against and why people are so invested in her personal decisions. She says when the child is older that they can make a choice between a party and a more private celebration. Really any party before the age of 5 is more for the adults than the kid anyway. It's not like she is going to refuse to acknowledge the day. She is just determined not to get into the trend to create bigger and better and more expensive experiences that the child might not even be interested in. It's become more like a competition for the adults rather that a celebration of the child in some circles.
As someone whose daughter spends months before her actual birthday counting down the days to her party, I find that selfish. Kids love birthday parties and the idea is having fun with your friends. It is not supposed to be enjoyable for the adults. Mine just had hers and frankly, I am still exhausted. But she is still talking about how awesome it was and that does make it worth the while.
She clearly gave the child a choice. If kids like parties let them have them, but give other options. I hated birthday parties growing up, still so. I'd rather do something like attend an event (play, concert) go to a museum/aquaroum or national park. When I was a kid this was the same, but amusement park was in the mix. This is about offering choices not denying parties to those who love them.
Load More Replies... Honestly I would have preferred my birthday parties like this when I was a kid. Every year my father insisted we invite the whole family for either mine or my sister’s birthday, for the first one or two hours everything was always fun with cake and all that. Then after that time the adults started chatting with each other and just forgot about us for hours until they left at the end, it was totally boring.
One time my daughter decided she wanted to have a pool party for her birthday, which is in December. So we did, in June. She was totally okay with that. A birthday party doesn't need to be organized. My son only wanted to have a few friends over, watch some videos together, get cake, open the gifts if there were some.
"Im not going to throw my kid a birthday party... im going to throw them a birthday party (but family only.)" ....
Okay, so giant filter-faced cult member isn't throwing birthday parties. Why is this a post? Why is it a tiktok?
growing up we didnt have "partys" it was me my lil sis my lil bro, grandma, mom, and aunt, all the people that lived in our small home, We went out got ice cream or went somewhere the birthday kid wanted to {the mall or park or somthing} the birthday kid got 100Bucks to spend on anything they wanted { also if they wanted it wrapped after they could, my brother liked that} and then we bought the cake, and after dinner, we bring the cake out, and sing happy birthday, and eat it, And that is how my last 30 birthdays have been, the group of people got smaller tho {my grandma died, then my mom last year, then my brother moved out, so now its me my sis, my husband, and my aunt}
why am I staring at some bloated morons face? downvote. f*****g tiktok.
This is a very weird hill to be on. She is acknowledging her daughter's birthday, and the daughter can choose how inclusive she wants to be.
My only issue with this is her reasoning. "As a childless adult, I was bored at children's parties and therefore my daughter won't be having them." It's not necessary to throw a party every year, but come on! Would it kill OP to throw them a little more often than first birthday (which the kid won't even remember) and sweet 16?
For the kids 18th she’ll be asking for therapy All her friends will have parties every year, what would that do to a child’s state of mind or self worth Sounds more like it’s what the mom wants, will she celebrate her birthday or Mother’s Day every year?
She's going to live on a compound with her extended family. I would be surprised if this child isn't home-schooled and not allowed friends outside of their cult.
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I never threw birthday parties for my kids for one reason: when my son was 7 a little girl in his class had a birthday party, the entire class was invited and my son was the ONLY child from class that showed up. This mother had put so much time and money into making a party for 25 kids and there were only 3 kids, the birthday girl, a family friend and my son. I didn't want that to ever happen to my kids.
Nah, she's just making it about herself thinking that because she got bored in kids parties her kid shouldn't have one. Birthday parties are for the kids, not for the invited adults.
Load More Replies... These days anything worth doing costs a lot, and had hidden fees on top of that, so have a smaller but more meaningful celebration, quality over quantity idea.
kids love birthday parties so if you plan to do what she wants every year, prepare to have a bday party every year lol
This has big "*my* school didn't have any mean girls* energy.
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Cool, just make sure you explain to her that the reason she won’t get invites to all the other kids’ parties is because stuff like that usually works on reciprocity. There are certain social norms in place, whether you like them or not, and if you don’t teach your child how these work, you may well alienate her from others.
It's only alienating if you have a party and don't invite someone. If you didn't have a party, there's no social consequences. I never had parties once I was allowed to make a different choice and I had plenty of invites. My nephew is the same, so things haven't changed that much.
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Right?! I'm confused. And you could stil give a birthday party but keep the guest list small? I declined all kid birthday parties except from my 2 nieces, best decision ever!
Load More Replies... what a load of toss telling her she's a bad mother for not confirming to societal pressure and having a party plus the finance that comes from those nowadays. You're celebrating your child, other kids just want food and other mothers just want someone else to look after their kids for a couple of hours... She is being given the option when she is older - you can tell some people didn't read/understand the article fully. And when you have that many family members over anyway - that's a party.
Birthday parties for kids are a new thing. They were rare in the 70's and 80's. Another crappy thing from America. We used to get a cake and presents and fuss from family. That was enough.
Myself and all my friends had birthday parties in the 80s... didn't have to be a huge expense, no-one paid for fancy entertainers, but we had friends over, music and cake.
Load More Replies... Let me rephrase that title for you: "Mom says she won´t invite the whole family to her daughter's birthday". Seriously, what a non-sensical post, she says she's not throwing her a birthday party, and then goes on to describe that she is actually throwing her a normal birthday party, only without inviting lots of family.
So, no BD parties for the little girl, because adults can't fully enjoy or something.
A birthday party can be classed as something big or small, it depends on how you look at it. My kid doesn't like large groups of people, so just has 2 friends each year that they celebrate with. They consider that their birthday party. My friends kids have 10-15 people at theirs, they consider that a party. It's just a celebration of that person with a gathering of people, be it big or small.
My parents offered us the same deal and it was perfect. My brother liked having a party and I liked a day out with family and one friend. It took all the stress away, I hated the whole party thing, the games were boring and I didn't like most kids in my class. I absolutely loved the days out though, and still cherish the experiences. Making a point to give the kid options is excellent.
I couldn't read all her nonsense, but I somewhat agree. My son's 14. He had a 1st, 10th and 13th birthday party. I'll give him a 16th (if he wants) and a graduation party. I get anxiety over planning and I just couldn't do it every year. He never minded either as long as we got to go out to a restaurant of his choosing. I had a cousin who had big ones every year, even hiring a petting zoo, twice. Spending that much on a 3 y/o for a zoo is crazy when the kid won't even remember. I grew up in the 80's and only had parties on milestone years. I never understood yearly parties.
Presumably this is based on wildly extravagant expectations, but if that's the motivation why not just plan to have DIY parties at home without expensive gifts for all, professional entertainment or a costly venue?
Yeah my birthday parties were never a super extravagant Instagram deal, just family over at the house and a cake my mom made with some pizza and chips. Maybe a bounce house when I was little. I still had an amazing time and felt super special.
Load More Replies... I think outside of US it is not a big deal, rather perfectly normal. US moms and social media which is dominated by thempressures others into this.I grew up in an EU country, never had such a bday party like with friends or classmates, only with the family until we were like 10 years old. After that only close family celebrated it, and even I had friends I never wanted such a big look at me this is my special day celebrations.... Sorry for my unpopular opinion.
I'm from an EU country as well, and we definitely had yearly birthday parties with friends in elementary school. Way before the existence of social media. I always find it so weird when somebody else from Europe generalizes all those countries, when there are so many different cultures and experiences.
Load More Replies... I had NO birthday parties growing up, and I didn't get upset about it. I actually didn't care about having a birthday party, much less every year. Why society has to make such a big deal about kids getting a year older by making it a "social event" is beyond me.
Same here: I was the quiet kid and always sat somewhere to the side at other kid's parties. That's why my parents stopped throwing me a party: none of my classmates had the same interests, and I'd feel better spending the day reading in the attic ^_^ ▪️▪️▪️It's completely nuts to throw a $400 party like mentioned in the article. If you've got hyper kids, tire them out with sports and physical games. If you've got bookish kids, have something like a museum trip, or an interesting trivia scavenger hunt through your own town.
Load More Replies... When we moved into our new house (which happened to be hubs' grandmother's house previously) we threw a huge birthday party for our son (he turned 5) and invited alllllll the family. Nobody showed up from hubs' family except his parents and grandparents. Kid was disappointed, as the previous years it had been at grandparents house and everyone showed up, but ignored/excluded me and hubs. After that we said no more parties, we do what HE wants on his birthday. When he was little, it was Chuck E Cheese with us and hubs' parents (mine are no longer around). Now it's a gaming center with laser tag! But no more of those stupid family parties since most of the family hate us!
First of all, why do people put all of their damn business on social media, do they really think the world f*****g cares? Second, did you really need to super close up selfies? Wow, could you possibly get that camera any closer? You are clearly in need of attention......
I don't understand what's the big deal. As a little kid, I'd want to have a day to myself. As a teenager, I'd want a party. This kid has a choice, I didn't.
She thinks birthday parties are just that cringe a*s balloon and bouncy house setup where the entire extended family and whole neighborhood attends. That isn’t a birthday party, that’s just showing off for social media. A birthday party is exactly what she described as NOT a birthday party - dinner and cake with family plus some friends your own age over. That’s always been a birthday party pre social media.
What about all of us that had birthday parties in the 80s? Those were for social media too? Don't generalise just because you didn't have it.
Load More Replies... I've never done a "party" for my kids in the sense that we invite a stupid amount of people and decorate and all that jazz. It's just dinner of their choice and maybe a sleepover friend (depending on their age). I think all this mom is saying is that she doesn't feel the necessity to make a huge thing out of birthdays. Besides, the younger they are, the less they care. Anything under 3 barely needs acknowledgement at all.
Thank you, thank you, thank you!! I actually used my finger width and tried to measure my eyebrows in normal position and raised. Even raised, they are nowhere near the middle of my forehead!
Load More Replies... Well I personally would love this because I’m an introvert and panic at parties.
Not every child is crazy about classic birthday parties. Just observe how your kid is and celebrate accordingly. ▪️▪️▪️I was the quiet kid, and I didn't like all the noise and activity at kid's parties. There are a few pics in the family album of me at other kid's birthday parties. I was always trying to stay out of the worst of the mess, and cuddling with the family dog. That's why we didn't throw any parties for me. ▪️▪️▪️As a teenager I became friends with some of our teachers: they lived in our neighbourhood and we often cycled to school together. They asked my mum if I could help with the catering at their parties. Now those were fun! Nobody trying to pull teenage stunts, and great conversation ^_^ ▪️▪️▪️Spending $400 on a party is crazy though. If the kids are hyper, organise games. Their parents will thank you for letting them tire themselves out. If you've got a group of quiet kids, do something like visiting a museum or science fun.
As a child with a sibling who's birthday was the same week as mine I never had a separate acknowledgement of my birthday after the age of 5. I would have loved to have had a day just for myself. I'm an introvert so parties don't appeal to me either. I just don't get what this mom is trying to argue against and why people are so invested in her personal decisions. She says when the child is older that they can make a choice between a party and a more private celebration. Really any party before the age of 5 is more for the adults than the kid anyway. It's not like she is going to refuse to acknowledge the day. She is just determined not to get into the trend to create bigger and better and more expensive experiences that the child might not even be interested in. It's become more like a competition for the adults rather that a celebration of the child in some circles.
As someone whose daughter spends months before her actual birthday counting down the days to her party, I find that selfish. Kids love birthday parties and the idea is having fun with your friends. It is not supposed to be enjoyable for the adults. Mine just had hers and frankly, I am still exhausted. But she is still talking about how awesome it was and that does make it worth the while.
She clearly gave the child a choice. If kids like parties let them have them, but give other options. I hated birthday parties growing up, still so. I'd rather do something like attend an event (play, concert) go to a museum/aquaroum or national park. When I was a kid this was the same, but amusement park was in the mix. This is about offering choices not denying parties to those who love them.
Load More Replies... Honestly I would have preferred my birthday parties like this when I was a kid. Every year my father insisted we invite the whole family for either mine or my sister’s birthday, for the first one or two hours everything was always fun with cake and all that. Then after that time the adults started chatting with each other and just forgot about us for hours until they left at the end, it was totally boring.
One time my daughter decided she wanted to have a pool party for her birthday, which is in December. So we did, in June. She was totally okay with that. A birthday party doesn't need to be organized. My son only wanted to have a few friends over, watch some videos together, get cake, open the gifts if there were some.
"Im not going to throw my kid a birthday party... im going to throw them a birthday party (but family only.)" ....
Okay, so giant filter-faced cult member isn't throwing birthday parties. Why is this a post? Why is it a tiktok?
growing up we didnt have "partys" it was me my lil sis my lil bro, grandma, mom, and aunt, all the people that lived in our small home, We went out got ice cream or went somewhere the birthday kid wanted to {the mall or park or somthing} the birthday kid got 100Bucks to spend on anything they wanted { also if they wanted it wrapped after they could, my brother liked that} and then we bought the cake, and after dinner, we bring the cake out, and sing happy birthday, and eat it, And that is how my last 30 birthdays have been, the group of people got smaller tho {my grandma died, then my mom last year, then my brother moved out, so now its me my sis, my husband, and my aunt}
why am I staring at some bloated morons face? downvote. f*****g tiktok.
This is a very weird hill to be on. She is acknowledging her daughter's birthday, and the daughter can choose how inclusive she wants to be.
My only issue with this is her reasoning. "As a childless adult, I was bored at children's parties and therefore my daughter won't be having them." It's not necessary to throw a party every year, but come on! Would it kill OP to throw them a little more often than first birthday (which the kid won't even remember) and sweet 16?
For the kids 18th she’ll be asking for therapy All her friends will have parties every year, what would that do to a child’s state of mind or self worth Sounds more like it’s what the mom wants, will she celebrate her birthday or Mother’s Day every year?
She's going to live on a compound with her extended family. I would be surprised if this child isn't home-schooled and not allowed friends outside of their cult.
Load More Replies... I never threw birthday parties for my kids for one reason: when my son was 7 a little girl in his class had a birthday party, the entire class was invited and my son was the ONLY child from class that showed up. This mother had put so much time and money into making a party for 25 kids and there were only 3 kids, the birthday girl, a family friend and my son. I didn't want that to ever happen to my kids.
Nah, she's just making it about herself thinking that because she got bored in kids parties her kid shouldn't have one. Birthday parties are for the kids, not for the invited adults.
Load More Replies... These days anything worth doing costs a lot, and had hidden fees on top of that, so have a smaller but more meaningful celebration, quality over quantity idea.
kids love birthday parties so if you plan to do what she wants every year, prepare to have a bday party every year lol
This has big "*my* school didn't have any mean girls* energy.
Load More Replies... Cool, just make sure you explain to her that the reason she won’t get invites to all the other kids’ parties is because stuff like that usually works on reciprocity. There are certain social norms in place, whether you like them or not, and if you don’t teach your child how these work, you may well alienate her from others.
It's only alienating if you have a party and don't invite someone. If you didn't have a party, there's no social consequences. I never had parties once I was allowed to make a different choice and I had plenty of invites. My nephew is the same, so things haven't changed that much.
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