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If you're a guy, chances are someone said you should "man up" or "boys don't cry" at some point in your life. The phrase that inspired this article is right up there among these classics.

A few months ago, Reddit user The_WereArcticFox submitted a question to the platform, where they asked: "Straight men of Reddit, what is the strangest thing you have been told not to do because 'that's gay?'" Sadly, it has received plenty of replies.

As of this article, there are over 38.5K comments under the post, proving that our society is still pretty messed up when it comes to masculinity and homosexuality.

#1

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Not straight but bi, but large parts of my family don't know that.

Anyway this was a few years ago. I was helping my dad repair a hay bailer and I was standing around looking at my dad under the machine greasing something. I had my hands on my hips.

My uncle pulls up in his truck and rolls down the window. He shouts out to me, "Take your hands off your hips. It makes you look queer."

My dad gets out from under the bailer and starts yelling back at my uncle.

"I'd rather have a queer helping me than a lazy ass like you."

My uncle shut up and drove off.

Byrdman216 , pexels Report

#2

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Cry. I used to cry a lot as a child and would get bullied for it. The adults in my life all agreed that crying made me weak, but one in particular (secretary at my elementary school) thought it also made me seem gay and feminine and told me that was why I was being bullied.

The reality is that I was probably depressed from having recently moved across the country from my family and often found myself lonely so I couldn't handle the smallest amount of rejection or teasing from others.

Please don't tell children not to cry. Talk to them about their feelings so that the source of their sadness can be tackled, not the symptom. I still struggle with processing basic emotions because i spent so much time repressing them over stupid reasons like this.

BuffNuwaPLS , pexels Report

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Cultural pressures for men to behave in a certain way (toxic masculinity) often claim that 'real men' have to perpetuate domination, homophobia, and aggression.

To learn more about them, we contacted Dr. Stephen Whitehead, an internationally recognized author, consultant, and researcher on gender, sexuality, identity management, and relationships. "Since modern humans first evolved some 300,000 years ago, one half of the species has used its physical strength to dominate the other half. It's not used its intelligence or sought to develop its emotional depths, it has dominated by virtue of brute force or the threat of it – which has been easy for men to do because biologically, most men are physically stronger than most women," the author of 'Toxic Masculinity, curing the virus: making men smarter, healthier, safer' told Bored Panda.

Whitehead added that reinforced by the biological imperative (women are the ones who bear children), this immediately created a gender binary which then created patriarchal conditions that position women as 'natural' carers, nurturers, with men as 'natural' warriors, leaders, providers, hunters, etc. "We shouldn't, therefore, be surprised that 300,000 years of such social conditioning has resulted in one half of the species believing it is naturally superior to the other half."

#3

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) I was at a party with my gf and my siblings, minding my own business while drinking sparkling water.

My BIL: “Dude, are you drinking sparkling water? That’s so gay.”

Me: points at my gf

BIL: “...”

Me: “Look I’m sorry, but you’re not my type... and with my sister.”

Several months prior I was at a gay bar ordering a sparkling water.

The bartender, smug af: “Really? Sparkling water? You must be straight.”

What is it with me drinking sparkling water and my perceived sexuality?

J-J-Ricebot , unsplash Report

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#4

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) My granddad once told me not to brush my hair because "looking pretty is for women and the gays".

Screw you, buddy. I want to look nice and not like I'm chasing hedgehogs through a freakin bush, you unwashed heathen.

RudyRhythmface , pexels Report

#5

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) As a helicopter pilot I have a checklist. We ALL have a checklist. Even though I have the slimmer version, its still a lot of pages, so I bought some page markers and labeled the important pages like start up, shutdown, refuel, emergencies, whatevs, good idea right?

I misplaced said checklist in an aircraft I hadn't seen in a while and asked some of the more senior guys if they had seen it and one of them responded:

"Oh, the one with all the gay little page markers?"

And all the others laughed.

If being convenient is gay, then I'm flamboyant.

ApacheOc3lot , unsplash Report

In reality, however, Whitehead thinks it is an illusion. "It's a myth, based on a history mostly written by men which purports to reduce women and females to a secondary sex which requires protecting and is inherently weak and vulnerable," he said. "As Simon de Beauvoir put it, women are reduced to being 'the Other.' By having women as the other, men then get to put themselves at the centre."

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Males have been convinced that the idea of masculinity consists of violence, aggression, conquest, dominance, selfishness, competitiveness, combined with repression of their deepest emotions.

"As I say in my book, this myth was sold to your father, my father, and all their fathers before them. Its consequences are all around us, from religious fanaticism to denial of global warming, from corrupt capitalism to the extinction of species, from rampant weaponization to misogyny, from racism to homophobia, from empire building to genocide, and from domestic violence to male suicide. We have built a world on toxic masculinity, and humanity has paid the price. Humanity continues to pay the price," Whitehead explained.

According to him, the toxification of males starts from the moment they are born. "It takes root in the language and in practice, and feeds into men's expectations, self-perceptions, and how they relate to women. We know this, but still we seem unable or unwilling to stop it."

It's all around us, too. We may not notice all the evidence of toxic masculinity, but we're just so accustomed to it, some nuances are bound to slip our mind if we're not paying attention.

#6

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Apparently going out for Mexican and margaritas with your pal. No one said it directly, but the waitress gave us a complimentary dessert for 2 and said happy anniversary... free dessert is free dessert, I guess.

IronCorvus , unsplash Report

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#7

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) One time a girl thought I was gay because I was attentive during sex. I'm not even joking

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#8

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Putting on sunscreen.

justinduderino , flickr Report

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Whitehead himself cannot remember the last time he was physically threatened by a man. It may have been all the way back in the 1970s when he was a pub landlord in Leeds, Yorkshire, UK, but that doesn't mean he's not experiencing it. "I live a quiet, reflective life in Chiang Mai, northern Thailand, with my wife and step-daughter... I'm 71 [and] like everyone else these past 18 months, I've been living with the consequences of Covid-19. Thailand was barely affected up until early this year when infections suddenly went from a few hundred to over 50,000 rising at 4,000 a day, with hundreds of deaths. The Thai government immediately locked down infected areas and ruled that if you went out of your house, you had to wear a face mask. Pretty much every Thai person followed that ruling. In fact, Thais have been wearing face masks since early last year. No problem. Who hasn't been wearing face masks in Thailand? A lot of Western male expats – with many Thai press reports about this problem."

#9

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) I said I like it when it rains.

TheDeadGunslinger , pexels Report

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#10

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) 2 of my friends from high school died in a car accident a week before the graduation

Everyone from the classroom went to the funeral and some lf my classmates were crying a lot

I decided to hug one of them and comfort him. One of my closest friends..

And this guy (a fat one, part of the "popular cool group wich are always doing stupid stuff to get attention") came into me, touched my back and yelled "Dude i didn't know you liked d**k hahaha"

He was kicked from the funeral and lost probably 90% of his friends

fedexhh , unsplash Report

#11

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Painting my daughter's nails. (She's 3)

mrdr_fest , pexels Report

Two weeks ago, Whitehead was at the local ATM, getting some cash out. Suddenly, a white male, around 35, walks up with his young son. He was not wearing a face mask, nor was his child. "I politely asked him not to come close to me because he's not wearing a mask. He looked at me incredulously, demanded I repeat myself (which I did) and he then stormed past me to the ATM and started ranting about how 'people like you are the reason why we have this fucking problem. I should smack you in the mouth. Give you a good thumping! You miserable piece of shit!’ etc," Whitehead recalled.

"Emotionally, he has gone from zero to 100 in a matter of seconds. I am shocked and genuinely scared that he may attack me so I say nothing more, simply get my money out of the ATM and leave. Though I had every right to call the police not only over his threatening behavior but because he was breaking the law by not wearing a mask. The point is, he could barely control his anger – he was on the edge of violence – and that was in a very public place, broad daylight, accompanied by his son... As a psychologist/sociologist, I know toxic masculinity when I see it and this was it, full-frontal, stark, vicious, senseless, selfish, aggressive and very dangerous. As the American Psychological Association recently pointed out, toxic masculinity is a mental health issue which needs dealing with urgently."

#12

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Eating bananas, hot dogs, popsicles, string cheese, using a straw, hugging other men, touching feminine hygiene products,

This is the one that kills me; letting your 3yo daughter do your hair, makeup and nails.

Yogisogoth , flickr Report

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N G
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Oh yes, the phalic objects phalussy. Because anything like is even remotely shaped like a d**k must be a substitute for a d**k. Freud had more issues than National Geographic.

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#13

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Washing my as**ole. Friend of mine once said "everyone knows that's gay, you can miss me with that."

Apparently you are only allowed to wash your cheeks and let's suds run down your crack. Any direct contact with your own as**ole and u will catch the gay.

TheDreadPirateElwes , unsplash Report

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N G
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Just to sidestep on what is or isn't gay for a moment - is discussing your a**s and its hygiene a thing men do? This is the second one of these on the list so far and I'm a little confused.

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#14

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Having a child with my wife is gay. Taking care of my kid, and making being a good father and enjoying time with my child as the main goals of my life is somehow gay.

Changing diapers is apparently gay now. Having heterosexual sex and dealing with the consequences is also gay. Loving your kids and being a good dad is gay.

It doesn’t make any sense at all.

NotAnotherLibrarian , pexels Report

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Kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's not gay. It's a lame excuse made up by men who don't bother being a good dad.

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The first way to address a problem, according to the author, is to name it. And while he thinks we as a society haven't contained toxic masculinity, Whitehead believes it is now on the defensive. "MeToo, BLM, all the media discussion about the behavior of men are pushing back at TM. However, there is a rump of male society which is now going to kick hard against any critical discussion about masculine identity (and against anti-sexism, gun control, anti-racism, LGBT+ rights) but these men (and some women) are increasingly on the fringe," he said. "They do not represent the future, they represent the past. But that doesn't mean they won't be a problem going forward. We need to educate them."

But can we educate the fella who threatened to punch Whitehead in the head? Can we really educate him and the millions of men like him? "We cannot. We have to therefore educate his young son. And that can only happen in schools because there is a big danger that boy will become infected by the toxic masculinity virus also – he'll catch it from his dad."

#15

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) When I was in high school, everyone thought I was gay because I wore a scarf to school one day.

A) Scarves aren't gay.

B) It was a gift from my great grandmother.

C) It was during the winter in Pennsylvania. IT. WAS. COLD.

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Vermillion Ace #443
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

😐 Let the others be cold if they are so rugged and manly. Scarves are cool, especially if you're The Doctor.

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#16

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) The strangest one I've heard is "Two guys can't drive around in a convertible with the top down."

FalseAlarmEveryone , unsplash Report

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Black Pug Puppy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Wow the coutlntless times this happened in movies I never thought they were gay

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#17

When I was in 8th grade, i got a solid beat down for wearing a plain purple t-shirt. Apparently only gay guys do that.

YEARS later i found out I was gay for liking d**ks, turns out it had nothing to do with my shirt. Who woulda think?

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Whitehead thinks there are many ways to be a man. And toxic masculinity is just one of them. Interestingly, in his book, the author also mentions what he describes as the other two dominant forms of masculinity now circulating in the world: progressive and collapsed. "The progressive is probably going to overtake toxic masculinity eventually (if human society is lucky), while collapsed will take us very likely into an age of androgyny – we are already seeing signs of this in Japan, South Korea, China and it is emerging globally in men," he explained.

"New and dominant ways of being a male are emerging in cultures and societies. Hopefully, as this evolution takes place, the toxic version will disappear or become confined to a few dangerous places," Whitehead concluded.

#18

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) My mom told me to stop complaining about my migraine cause “thats not very straight of you”

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#19

Cross my legs when sitting. After a student brought that up to me one time too many, I asked him why he was staring at my legs. That shut him up.

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bonnyatlast
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My students all said another teacher was gay. Reason? He had long hair. That's it.

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#20

I have a friend who is bi, she married a man. Before her wedding, her mom reminded her that some of her family were Jehovah's Witnesses and less tolerant of homosexuality, and she asked her not to "act gay". I'm not sure how you can act gay at your wedding when you're marrying someone of the opposite gender.

But in the end, her maid of honor was a lesbian and my husband and I (both men) came so her shitty, bigoted aunts had to put up with our existence anyway.

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#21

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) "can't come mate, I'm spending the weekend camping with my girlfriend"

"Pffft, what are you, gay? You're missing a party dude"

I'm pretty sure both of us lost braincells in the moment of silence after he said that.

Chev_Chellios , pexels Report

#22

I hugged my best friend. We don't do that handshake-hug-over-one-shoulder-and-pat-on-the-back bull**it, we f**king embrace. Some people think that's "gay" but we don't care. We enjoy each other.

The other day we went white water rafting and at one point we laid on our backs and floated down a calm part of the river while holding hands. I can't argue with that one, it's a little gay. Still don't care. Had a good day.

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Misstaken138
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

As long as y'all had fun, that's all that matters. My son always hugs his guy friends and says "I love you." His reasoning is you never know when it'll be the last time you see someone so he wants his friends to know he cares about them just in case. He is not gay and is happily married to a wonderful girl. There is nothing wrong with showing your friends that you care about them. I hope you and your friend have many more fun adventures ahead of you!

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#23

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Pedicures. When I was in the military a female friend of mine convinced me to get one by paying for both of us. I've been getting them regularly now for the last 15 years and still some men think it is "gay or feminine"

Guys your missing out! It feels amazing!

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Wubbleyew
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think it's gay but the thought of a stranger touching my hands or feet (any part or me for that matter) makes me shudder

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#24

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Wear pink or similar colours, although it definitely is my colour

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#25

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) 80s kid here. Anything involving showing emotion is gay. Wearing any clothing that isn't muted is gay. Stating that something is cute is gay. Getting excited about hobbies is gay. Calling your guy friends to talk is gay. Crying is gay. Airing grievances of everyday life is gay. Washing your butthole is gay. Using lotion other than jacking off is gay. Shaving anything other than your face and neck is gay.

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#26

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) If an alcoholic drink doesn't taste really bitter or doesn't burn your throat, apparently it's penis in a glass...

robertofontiglia , pexels Report

#27

Not from my folks, but just society made me believe that guys shouldn't hug their friends. .

20 years later, my 6'3" biker friend is big on hugs.

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#28

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Growing my hair and taking care of it

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Vermillion Ace #443
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

If you can grow your hair out, by all means do it. Look at the bearded set, see how they work their magic on all that facial floof?

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#29

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) My girlfriend once seriously asked me if I was gay because I said that I liked her body. Safe to say she had some issues.

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#30

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) A nightly/daily skin care regimen.

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Kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I've always wondered why men taking care of their looks is considered gay.

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#31

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Two guys can't sit next to each other in a movie theater if it's not crowded

FalseAlarmEveryone , pexels Report

#32

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Eating at a sushi restaurant with another guy

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#33

I have this casual button down shirt that's...pinkish? Coral? Salmon? More of a Salmon...which is what I said in the story.

Anyway, I really like the shirt based on its fit and its material. And I never have anyone say anything bad about it (I've had like two compliments on it over the 8 years I've had it).

But one day some guy started making fun of me for wearing a pink shirt. And I thought he was joking so I started joking and went "Actually it's a lovely salmon, possibly with a lemon or honey glaze"

And he then called me a homosexual for knowing about salmon as a color and describing cooking in such a way. I don't even know how to cook lol, I ordered that at a restaurant once and loved it.

F**k 'em though. One of the girls I dated loved the shirt.

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

i am the cook in my house , i am a married man of 32 years with 5 kids but i am the biggest gay in the village

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#34

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Playing the saxophone

Honestly what in the world?

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#35

I was engaged, and my co-workers knew I was engaged to a woman.

I was at some sort of work thing, and started talking to a guy who was obviously gay. We started talking about philosophy, and I thought he was a cool guy. I was just like hey, if I ever read "x book" that we were talking about, I'd love to discuss it with you over coffee or something, but I might not read it anytime soon.

I'd just graduated college, where getting coffee with someone didn't mean anything, and you just did it if you wanted to have a conversation with them.

Apparently everyone thought I asked the dude out. I guess I see where they're coming from, but I just wanted to talk about Wittgenstein with someone who'd read him should I ever read him.

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#36

I've been told wearing a mask, or PPE in general, is "gay".

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#37

Loving my fiancee. Apparently having feelings for someone of the opposite sex was gay. These were older men who are always saying "I hate my wife" or "once you're married you'll hate her". I truly don't understand how people get like that. If loving my fiancee is gay then I'm the biggest queer in the world.

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Misstaken138
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

They're just jealous that you're in a loving relationship and they're old and miserable. You should love your fiance. If you didn't love her why the heck would you be with her? Duh!

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#38

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Play as a female video game character.

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#39

Calling out a family member who catcalled a woman that was jogging

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#41

At the age of 22, during Obama’s re-election, my dad told me voting for him was gay and would turn me into a homosexual.

Plot Twist: Dad is white, mom is black.

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#42

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) A friend told me I'm holding my fork in a gay kind of way.

kasaaxxg59 , flickr Report

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Kat
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Didn't know there's a gay kind of way, so there must be hetero kind of way, wonder where's the difference... Must google...

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#43

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) At work I once complimented another man on his outfit. My male co-workers looked at me as if I had asked if he had naked photos of himself I could see.

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#44

The time my female friend was wildly drunk and I wouldn't have sex with her. Both her and my male friends were all calling me gay that night!

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#45

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Rollerskating was gay all of the sudden.

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JuJu
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Guys on skates were the coolest and hottest dudes when I was a teenanger (just a decade after the dinos went extinct)

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#46

Hugging a friend that had lost his father, sad to see caring about others is also being hit by toxic masculinity.

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#47

Work at Victoria's Secret for a summer. I was trynna speed up the girlfriend-getting process and decided to work at a female-rich environment but apparently that was gay.

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#48

I was taking prescription strength pain killers after surgery. My friend had come over to check on me. Her boyfriend (ex) thought it was gay to take pain killers and told me to be a man.

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I I
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

it's hard when you find out how super gay you are on social media , take pain meds daily . wouldn't function with out them

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#49

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Anything dance related.

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#50

Using a loofah. Like bruh I can feel it's making me cleaner than just a bar of soap how TF is cleanliness gay.

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#51

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Not exactly "that's gay" but a guy talked down to me once for using the word "craving" because "Cravings are something only women get!"

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#52

Not that I've been told not to do it, but I know a guy who refuses to eat p**sy because he says it's gay.

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#53

Gay guy here, I enjoy playing piano and used to get told "it's gay af" back in middle school. Now when I see the amount of straight guys getting chicks because they can play an instrument, ha.

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#54

I had a friend tell me once when we were 18 (around 2005) that I "smoked cigarettes like a queer." I asked what the f*ck that was supposed to mean. He had no explanation, just kept repeating the same line, until I reminded him that he taught me about cigarettes, how to hold and smoke them. Everyone in the group turned to him and laughed him out of the room.

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#55

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) My cousin described his shoes as “comfy”. My dad suspected him of being gay for several years later.

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Auntriarch
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I could understand if he'd suspected him of being middle aged

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#56

Rent a cottage with my gf instead of going camping with the boys.

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#57

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) Broke a guy’s jaw in high school, sent him a get well card while he was in the hospital. He called me gay for sending the card

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Iggy
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

You clearly didn't hit him hard enough to knock some sense into him.

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#58

Me and a friend of mine used to be like Jim Carrey and Jeff Daniels from dumb and dumber . Always getting in trouble , bunking class on my scooter , going out to eat , buy groceries , a long ride out of the city coz the air is so fresh where people don't live . My friend later told me he heard a rumor that we both were always together so we were gay . We laughed it off and went to have our hot pockets .

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CrunChewy McSandybutt
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2 years ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

The same thing happened to me and my BF in high school. We were HS losers and hung out together and nobody else. Apparently, that meant we were lesbians.

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#59

Not me but a friend was seen as effeminate because he was into sewing. I'm sorry, but the manliest man trait on the planet is practicality, and sewing is one of the most practical skills to have at literally any point in history.

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Misstaken138
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband is a 6'3" diesel mechanic and a very manly man. Not only does he sew, but he also crochets. I don't find it effeminate at all. I personally think it's kinda hot that a big burly man like him can crochet and sew as well as he does.

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#60

My father said it was gay to play an instrument...

...but he pretty much called anything he didn't like or couldn't do gay...

...now that I think about it he thought a lot was gay. There were gay ways to eat donuts, gay ways to sit, it was gay to take a bath, it was gay to want your friend over to play videogames because it was two guys in a closed room...

And his explanations were really detailed as to why it was all gay...my father thought really deeply about why things were gay or hetero.

Oh well, it's not like I talk to him anymore.

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N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That second paragraph nails the whole thing! Anything a man doesn't like or cannot do that another man does or can must be gay by default. Because gay is a "bad thing", it's not what he wants to be, so if he doesn't like it/can't do it, it's automatically a bad thing and therefore gay! It doesn't get more straight forward than this. (Using the "All tables have legs, I have legs, therefore I am a table" logic)

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#62

Not cheating on my then-girlfriend, now-wife with another girl

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#63

My brother-in-law thinks recycling is gay.

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Kateryna
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm starting to wonder if guys use the word "gay" as a compliment. According to most things described in this article, being gay is apparently being a considerate, nice, clean, REAL person.

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#64

I enjoyed acting in community theater growing up. Apparently that made me gayer than a handbag full of rainbows

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BorPand8
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I read somewhere that so many action stars now are Australian/New Zealander/British/Canadian because there are so few "manly" actors coming up in the US (because they think acting is "gay").

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#65

Back in high school my friend was called gay for liking the smell of a women's perfume. He shot back "well, women use it to attract men, so it's only logical I like it"

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#66

I had a girlfriend that started laughing when I crossed my legs because that’s hella gay.

And it was like the full straight guy spread out T leg cross.

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#67

not a guy, but i used to be in chorus in high school. guys would comment that the guys in chorus were gay. they weren't and most of them had amazing voices.

so i would ask them who their favorite band was - it was always a male dominated group, and then watch their brains implode when i asked them if the lead singer was gay.

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#68

Doing anything about my appearance/well-being is perceived as "gay" by under-sexed macho jacka**es. When I started dressing well, I got called metrosexual. Telling the wrong people I got a pedicure or massage gets me gay comments. Bruh I just wanna look pretty get off my case.

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Jaclyn Levy
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I feel like "gay" is being used to describe what these people perceive as "feminine" traits/qualities/habits which is seen as inferior to "masculine" traits/qualities/habits. It's misogyny disguised as homophobia, both of which suck.

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#69

Being unable to lift more than a girl.... i was 7 and she was like 30

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#70

Sharing your feelings as a male. Christ.

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Vermillion Ace #443
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I share my feelings with people I care about all the time, I'm male and I feel better having vented instead of being angry at things.

#71

An old man told me I was gay because I wore shorts. His exact words were "you want people to see your legs like some f****t"

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enby from hell
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

???? dude???? i'm gay bc i'm a sweaty pig in long trousers??? bitch wtf???

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#72

My husband was told he was gay because he was reading Sunstone, an adult comic series based around a kinky lesbian relationship.

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BorPand8
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Is this one of those "I'm a lesbian in a man's body" sort of things? Although that would make you trans...

#73

Brazilian living in the US. Speedo is a gay thing. I don't get it.

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#74

So I was about to go on a date with a girl and my (didn't know he was) gay friend said that I shouldn't because it's gay.

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#75

Join theater at highschool. Joinna frat in college....smh

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#76

Liking female vocalists or rappers

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#77

When I was young, I couple of friends refused to be seen with me if I wore a red t-shirt because wearing red is gay!

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#78

Straight Men Share The Most Basic Things They Did That Someone Claimed Were "Gay" (50 Answers) I'll admit that I was the perpetrator in this case. When I was veeery young, like 8 or 9, I was convinced eating strawberries was kinda gay

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#79

I worked with a guy from Somalia who had strange ideas about a lot of things who told me I was gay for putting on chapstick. And brought it up at least once a week for months

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bonnyatlast
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

There was a guy in my group of friends who would ask if anyone had chapstick on them. Texas winters can really dry your lips terrible. They can crack and bleed easy. All I had was clear lipstick but it worked the same. Never thought he was gay. Just found it amusing.

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#80

Knew a guy in college who was disgusted at the idea of going down on a woman. He said it was gay, and we all just kinda stared at him like "A guy... eating out a girl... is gay?" He insisted only girls and gay men go down on their partners. It was really weird. Not sure if it was a cultural thing; he's Jamaican, but I've never had the opportunity to discuss the topic with another Jamaican.

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El muerto
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

is and old way of thinking...the idea that the role of the female i to be subservient and pleasure to the man. so if you as a man give pleasure to a woman, you are subservient and thus...womanly or gay...like a lot of porn, women give pleasure to the men

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#81

My mom walked in on my shaving my arm pits, and promptly went to tell my dad all about how gay it is.

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#82

If you had a piercing in the right ear you were gay.

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N G
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That does have its origins in the underground gay scene. Like back in the 60s and 70s in the UK when it was still illegal to be gay, they invented their own language and external signs (like the earring). It was a sort of subversive Grindr. One of those legacy things which was true at the time.

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#83

I played the clarinet. I got called Faginet alot.

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Karl Baxter
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Apart from the obvious homophobia that’s not even a good pun

#84

Go to cheer camp. I was the mascot at my school and thought it would be awesome be a straight guy where the girls are all barely clothed. I pointed this out to people and they had to seriously reconsider what they thought was gay.

Also, when I used to look at porn, apparently wanting the guy to be younger and somewhat attractive was gay.

Being a theater tech was kinda day (only if it was musicals).

Getting real excited about hobbies is gay. This is the one I'm most upset about. I didn't think it was gay, I just lost interest because of all the stupid comments. It's not till now that I'm almost 30 that I'm finally loving having some great hobbies

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#85

Peeing while sitting down.

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#86

I ordered champagne for breakfast and one person I know and two staff members asked if I was gay.

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BlackestDawn
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Ok, I can understand the other person but the staff members. That is so inappropriate and unprofessional.

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#87

Drink any beverage out of a bottle, rather than a cup.

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#88

A buddy of mine once complained that no one looked manly drinking from a straw.

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Arctic Fox Lover
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I don't think people are trying to look manly while drinking from a straw. It's just convenient in some cases.

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#89

Have girls as friends in primary school. Many of my male friends told me that was 'Gay'. Now whos laughing when I am the only guy invited to girls slumber parties.

And I'm Bisexual

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Marianne
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

My husband also has mostly female friends. Guess how we met ...

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#90

When our Physical Education Teacher examines if we cut our nails boys would show with their palms upward and bent at knuckles whereas girls would simply show palms facing downward. Now if you did the other thing you're gay. Our teacher sensed something off and made everyone show with their palms down.

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#91

Told this guy I liked his wrist watch and he completely flipped out calling me gay. Then he goes storming out of the bathroom without even flushing his urinal.

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BorPand8
Community Member
2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Well, if the watch was on his wrist, attached to his hand, which was holding his penis at the time, then that is kinda gay. Staring at other men's penises is kinda gay. Maybe this is a joke?

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#92

When I was little somebody told me to check my nails and apparently if you make a half fist and turn your hand so you can look at them it means you're straight. If you hold your hand up like you are about to give someone a high five it means you're gay.... Kids are weird...

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Jrizzy Jay
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I tried it and found out that im straight so I agree with this test.

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#93

I shouldn't compete in wrestling because its hot, sweaty men grabbing onto eachother. And yet girls can make-out with eachother, full-on have sex and still claim to be straight.

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Dorothy Parker
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2 years ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

See the movie Women in Love. And no, wrestling isn't gay. Or if it is, who cares?

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#94

“You like pink ! That’s gay !“
”O, You run like a girl !”

Yet, nobody gives a damn If a girl wears blue, and If a woman runs fast, she‘s an athlete.

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#95

Being a flight attendant. I’m straight and became a FA for the travel and earn a little money. Most people I met on crews would assume I was gay until they talked to me and figured out I wasn’t. I screwed several female FAs btw

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