While marriage is a beautiful union built on love and commitment, it doesn’t always guarantee a lifetime of happiness. Life is complicated, and sometimes, things don’t go as planned. Many people find themselves reflecting on their decision to say "I do," wondering if it was the right choice after all.
Recently, men turned to Reddit to open up about the heartbreaking regrets that made them rethink their marriages. Scroll down to read their stories, and feel free to share if any of these experiences resonated with you.
This post may include affiliate links.
Not putting in the effort that is expected.
My wife put in all the effort and I didn't try hard enough.
HELLO EVERYONE AM QUEENSLY FROM ENGLAND, I WANT TO GIVE A TESTIMONY OF A SPELL CASTER THAT BROUGHT MY HUSBAND BACK TO ME AFTER 2 YEARS OF SEPERATION, HIS NAME IS DOCTOR ONIHA, YOU CAN ALSO CONTACT HIM ON HIS EMAIL ON: DRONIHASPELL@YAHOO.COM OR WHATSAP HIS PERSONAL NUMBER ON +2347089275769.
Marriage is not hard, nor a contest or anything to work at. It's a joyfulu union of cooperation and sharing.
Getting married when I was too young, 21, not old enough to know a lot of things that I should have known.
Yep, I'm pretty sure the reason young marriages lasted longer for older generations is probably cause some women needed permission from their husbands to divorce. If they did manage to get that they probably couldn't even get employment or a even a bank/checking account. Texas still won't finalize a divorce if the wife is still pregnant. Gotta' wait 9 months ladies.....or just leave the state. Looks like they'll close up that loophole soon as well and keep you from leaving.
Being emotionally and psychologically abused by a narcissist....should have run many, many years ago.
Same here trust me it'll be really hard initially (it's what's you've known for years) but trust me u will feel sooooo much better in the end
I worry about my BIL. My eldest sister is the most manipulative person I know. She's a very cunning narcissist who is great at hiding how terrible she really is. Everything she says and does is with the intent to manipulate the lives of everyone around her. I just know that guy is going to need a friend when he finally realizes.
Shockingly, not much. My marriage only lasted 5 or 6 years. I made a poor choice in women, or rather I ignored the red flags that were waving in my face like a Communist parade.
Thing is though, I wouldn't change any of the marriage part of it. My X-Wife turned out to be more awful that I thought though. When my gay kid came out (over a decade after we split), she actually told her "Why don't you try being normal" which still pisses me off to this day. But again, I don't regret the time I spent with her. It helped forge me into who I am. While it all went down in flames, I learned a lot in those few brief years and I ended up with a kid who I love with all my heart. She's the best part of my life. She also doesn't even see her mother anymore. Once that whole "be normal" thing went down, that was it.
I regret very little of my life. I've had a great one. Even now at middle age, I'm not going to sit here and look back wondering "what if?". Of course I could have made some better choices. A lot of them in fact. But as long as you learn from your mistakes, these aren't wasted experiences. I'm not the smartest guy in the room, but I never make the same mistake twice. And I feel like regret, wondering what might have been, fawning over the past, it's all a waste of the present. At least that's how I try to live.
That's a healthy way to see things. You are forged by what you went through and if you changed something in the past, you probably wouldn't have the great things you are now grateful for.
This is life! With the ups and downs, what you learn you're far better off. Nobody gets a fairy tail life. Life just isn't like that. And hopefully we learn from life's experiences.
Thinking that the things that bothered me about her would fade. Or she would change. Boy was I wrong. Every single surface is covered in c**p, I am about to divorce someone for being too messy.
I've mentioned this on here before, but that's also my wife. She's not at the level of a legitimate hoarder, she's just very cluttered and disorganized, on the logic that "i'm not done with _____ so why would i put it away when i'm going to have to take it out again tomorrow" and then....things just snowball. Nearly 14 years of that. Early this year, i got fed up and built her a new room 200sq ft office/craft room, with the understanding that her mess would be confined to that room, and only that room. The trash goblin wing. Anything that is left outside of that room, either gets thrown into that room, or goes into the trash depending on whichever is closer to the offense. Has worked a treat. Shelves, built ins and space saving organizational features galore.
Does she have ADHD? I folliow a couple where she has that and her bf is sort of following her path cleaning up.
I was manipulated into marrying a woman that turned out to be profoundly violently mentally ill. I knew she had issues but had no idea how severe. I should have trusted my gut instinct. The final time 20 years ago she was committed to a psych ward I grabbed custody and a restraining order.
Always trust your instincts.
My wife and I both agree: we got married because our families, and society in general, expected it. We have no regrets--our marriage is pretty good--but the relationship isn't *better* in any way for us being married.
Married or not, we're definitely happier together than apart, though.
Biggest regret is not pushing to meet her family sooner. We dated for 6 years long distance before I saw her mom and dad and sister interact at a dinner table.
It revealed so much about my wife’s behaviors, mannerisms, stigmas that I previously could not wrap my head around. Her parents were unbelievably toxic to one another’s and her sister was unhinged.
We’re still married and happy with a child on the way but it would have been nice to know about her family history of mental illness and her parent’s loveless marriage and all the neglect my wife suffered prior.
I remember talking to my dad about her and the best way I could describe her was that occasionally for weeks/months on end she turned into a house cat.
She would do nothing just eat and sleep, mindlessly watched tv and social media for 12-16 hours a day, refuses to do even simple tasks. And then like a switch she would be normal again and contribute as if nothing happened.
Turns out her mom is diagnosed with ADHD and depression, her sister is diagnosed with bi-polar and BPD and her dad is a literal hoarder and while not medically diagnosed has done some pretty messed up things that has me thinking he has no ability to feel empathy….
Not cohabiting first.
I used to be like, nah, but you know what, I've changed my mind on this lol even if you don't live together you got to be aware of each others living habits and how you do things if that makes sense. I'm a neat orderly person...so that isn't gonna mesh with a super messy person lol
I've heard/read stories that there are married couples who live on the same street as each other. Not 100% sure if it was true.
Load More Replies...this is a must. wen me and my husband realized we were the ones for each other id spend 3 or 4 days a week at his house to get a feel for wat itll b like. covid hit shortly after we got engaged. (a little tid bit i was 25 wen we met and still living with my parents cuz new york housing prices r ridiculous and he was in the same boat) but covid hit shortly after we were engaged so i spent lockdown at his house. we had no issues wat so ever. we loved being with each other everyday and night. after lockdown i spent every other week at his house due to my parents request. wanted to spend time with me before i moved out. i later found out that they were planning on moving to florida after i got married. my in laws changed their basement into an apartment for me and my husband and 4 years later still no problems living together. seeing if u can handle each others habits and lifestyles is a must before marriage. things we learned we had issues with werent big enough to pay attention to. like i have thick hair so i shed alot lol. he ties up his hair and i find hair ties everywhere. he doesnt have long hair so its those 1 use tiny hair ties. he leaves coffee mugs everywhere instead of putting them in the sink. im picky about where things go in the kitchen. little things like that. it doesnt bother us enough to care. i kno ppl who r in a marriage and have issues sometimes bc of pet peeves or habits they dislike all bc they didnt test the waters before living together after marriage. i mean im a plushie fanatic so ive got them everywhere and so is my friend. my husband finds it adorable while hers sees it as clutter. we both collect glass animals my husband found a great show case for mine hers is stuck in boxes in storage cuz her husband thinks its dumb. im still collecting while she stopped bc of her husband. ppls likes and dislikes also matter especially wen those things r part of someones life. like my glass animal collection is 30 years worth of collecting. i even have seasonal ones that i swap out every holiday. if my husband hated it idk wat id do cuz its part of me. knowing each other 100% is important
I don’t mean this in an “Aw sweet” kind of way, but I wish I’d just done it sooner. I wanted to have a good job before we got married. But getting married wouldn’t have changed that, except maybe making it a little easier for us tax wise. We’d been together for 6 years and knew about 8 months in we were done looking. But. I had stupid young man pride.
My other regret, and she agrees, is the wedding. In hindsight it was a stupidly expensive party we didn’t get to enjoy.
Weddings are extremely expensive. Keep it small, private and then use the cash to do something as a couple. At least that's my opinion.
I'm with ya on this one!! Got my wedding for under $200😁
Load More Replies...We had our "wedding" on the 10th anniversary of our marriage. We knew by then that we were pretty solid, and it was nice to have a bit of a fancy party. We splurged on a car and photographer, and the rest was pretty inexpensive. Was great, and everyone had a really nice time.
Not talking about boundaries before and ensuring I have enough space and time to myself.
That seems to be a problem that happens a lot. I tend to need more space that what people are willing to give me. It's like if they aren't practically up my nose 24/7 they aren't happy. If I don't automatically like something they're interested in (like movies, or certain genres of books for instance) they stop doing it (even though I assure them they don't need my permission and should have their own hobbies as well as stuff we can do together!) and then they get resentful that I "made them give up" something they liked to do....
Not divorcing sooner. I held out for years longer than was good for either of us and the children. It got ugly. In hindsight, I should have walked away with her saying that I gave up too soon rather than having put up with those last five years of truly vast quantities of money spent on marriage counseling that just made things worse, intense fights, bruises, concussion, and winter nights sleeping in the car.
Getting married so quickly. We got married when I was 23 and he was just shy of 25. We’d only been together 10 months.
We had always planned to get married, just not THEN.
But then his very proper grandparents said that we should get married or they’d be disappointed, essentially stop seeing us, and we’d see no help from them. To this day I’m not sure what kind of help they thought we wanted.
So we got married.
BUT…..been married for 21 years (together for 22) and very happy together so I guess it worked out in the end.
My gullibility in believing my wife and her family are capable of keeping their promises and saying what they mean.
Divorced here -
not trusting my instincts sooner.
I vividly remember telling her that she had the ability to "steam roll" my emotions and feelings. that was *before* we got married in 2001
cut to 4 years post divorce now in 2023, and her steamroller is larger and more abusive and meaner.
Thinking I could cure his depression and PTSD and not realizing that he never was in love with me plus total sexual incompatibility.
Me too :( A month after a friend of mine said "You can't fix someone who doesn't want to be fixed" and those words had a great impact on me. I kicked my ex out. Six months later I found someone who didn't need fixing and have been with him for nine years now (married for seven.)
Load More Replies...The money spent on it. Worst part is, I kept telling my wife we could spend it on a nicer honeymoon, or a house, or literally anything, but to no avail. She now agrees, and in general is better with money than I am, but for whatever reason, that wedding venue, food and everything created a blind spot for her frugality.
Weddings are very very expensive. I realized this when my best friend got married years ago so I can imagine with inflation what it costs now.
We’re married during Covid, so we didn’t get a wedding. Feels silly to do one now, but I hate that I missed out.
I knew a couple who, for their 30th anniversary, had a really lavish wedding to renew their vows.
That is so sweet and nice. I wish them many more happy and healthy returns.
Load More Replies...I missed out on my planned baby shower. I knew it be my only one and well, I was rather excited to be sort of "center of attention" for once. I was excited to play that game of guessing how long of toilet paper I measured out to be. It was to be in two weeks and then COVID restrictions. I know people lost their lives.. I am only having a vent since the post opened the discussion about "missing out".
i got married in 2020 which was during covid and we had the perfect wedding. we found loop holes in the wedding restrictions. venues only allowed 50 guests no matter the size however restaurants with catering halls allowed 100. we changed our whole wedding plan. we didnt have a dance floor due to regulations but that was fine we arent fond of dancing and loud djs and stuff. the restaurant did allow the traditional dances regardless of restrictions. we had a dj and a pianist. mainly for atmosphere and wedding feel. alot of guests danced by the tables they were sitting at which the restaurant didnt mind. we were allowed a proper cocktail hour. it wasnt grand or flashy but everyone including us thought it was perfect. we never got a honeymoon but we did stay in a port town for a week before going home. after friends who rescheduled their weddings saw wat we pulled off they all followed our example instead. churches allowed ceremonies based on size. we were under the limit for the church we chose so it worked perfectly. absolutely no regrets wat so ever. wen i finally get over the thought of flying while covid is still around. ive had it twice randomly and im epileptic so it triggers seizures. ive also been asymptomatic both times so find out thru seizures yay. once i get over the flying fear we will have a proper honeymoon
Missed out on....? The crushing debt that goes along with that pageantry? The stress that goes along with organizing that pageantry, and the stress that goes hand in hand with that debt? My wife and i went to the courthouse, had a couple of employees as witnesses and told no one, because every aspect of a wedding is our version of a personal hell (especially since weddings in Romania are like an organized racket, fueled by guilt and potential for social shaming) Her mother only found out several years later when she saw a piece of mail come for my wife with her new last name. If you really think you're missing out, do some due diligence and run down pricing for all the things you'd both want out of the wedding....then take that money and stick it in your savings, or at the very least put it towards something that will improve your lives for the foreseeable future.
Hey, it isn't the same process for everyone. If she feels she missed out on having a wedding, she feels she missed out. Her circumstances and outlook can be a lot different than the typical "debt for wedding".
Load More Replies...
1st Marriage, no regrets about getting married with what I knew at the time, but I do regret how I handled her infidelity. I was far too conciliatory, and I think if I had been more firm with her in setting boundaries afterward, maybe we'd have actually made it (I doubt it, but in retrospect I think that was our only chance).
2nd marriage was just a mistake. We just weren't compatible. She's a good person, but we weren't good together. I knew this subconsciously before we got married, but I convinced myself that my misgiving were just "jitters." After I realized it (~6 months), should have ended it sooner (kept trying for 7 years-I/we had no chance).
I'm engaged now to a woman who makes me feel VERY differently about the relationship than I ever have, and this feels like "it's supposed to," if that makes any sense, but I still learned a lot from my past, and I'm using what I learned to make sure I don't repeat mistakes (I definitely accept my portion of the blame for things that went wrong-I've had a lot of time to think about them).
My mum has been married to her third husband for almost 30 years, and I have never known a couple as perfect for one another as they are. Sometimes you have to kiss a few frogs!
Load More Replies...I don't understand the w***y-nilliness of marriage. The second marriage for this guy? Who told you you had to? Society, right? Blaming society is the new "I have mental problems because of my mom". "I make the wrong choices because of society". While these may be true, we really need to work on accountability.
That this woman thought she owned my bank acct and should run my life and that I actually cooperated with her!
I've never been married but with finances I assume you'll have personal accounts each and then like a joint account for bills etc.
That's one way to do it. Recipes vary. I know one happy couple where the frugal housewife organizes the finances and gives the working husband an allowance that he can spend as he wishes. Another couple kept separate accounts because one of them would have blown a joint account. Another have a joint account because the normally stingy wife's splurges consist of celery with goat cheese or French pastries, LOL.
Load More Replies...
Letting my MIL push us around for a couple of years.
You should never let your Magical Idealistic Lemur push you around.
Not true! They always have your best interests at heart; that's why they're magical.
Load More Replies...Lack of sex, terrible finances, inconsistent child raising, and jealousy and lack of trust from her.
Not doing it sooner. We lived about 500 miles apart. I even resisted the long distance relationship for years. Everything can work. Everything can be worked around.
True, things can work out. But sometimes, when the other person, even if still in the same relationship completely checks-out (emotionally and physicall) - It's doomed. It happened to me.
I mean, total emotional lockout can mean mental health issues, but, get that stuff figured out before marriage [or relationships in general]. This is, ofc, barring something completely traumatic that occures while married that triggers it. Nobody deserves to be legally stuck with someone who has no idea how to deal with life. & this goes two ways: marrying someone in the hopes that they'll eventually 'get better' will absolutely rock your world in a bad way, & can make you sicker than they are. never commit to someone hoping they will change if you love them enough.
Load More Replies...Marrying the wrong person.
I just do not believe marriage is right for some people. My parents have been together for 45yrs and are not married. In the eyes of our family, friends & even our Government, they are considered married. My mum was married but didn't last long due to DV. My parents never argued or fight about anying EXCEPT over us kids!
For me, it is the constant compromising I do mentally. It probably the same in any kind of relationship but I lose the sense of independence and freedom for mental compromise as a partner. Not a big regret for me but the biggest one i can think of. It's good to remind oneself to take a me day every once and a while.
I really think it's the norm in many relationships to feel like constant compromising and sometimes (I say sometimes!), if one doesn't feel this way, it's because the partner does more "compromises" (Which aren't if only one has to stay back). I think this work is somehow necessary but it should be easier and more equal than I see it in relationships. It's a little saddening that relationships are sometimes exhausting but maybe they feel more exhausting because we have to less free time and energy. If we had more, it maybe wouldn't feel like this... Just thinking
Combining finances.
Getting married, getting married without a pre nup.
When my wife and i got married, part of the paperwork included how we'd be treating our assets/money in the event of divorce: everything stays separate/join everything and split it down the middle or joint property is divided but everything we've brought that existed prior to the marriage remains our own. It wasn't a prenup, it was just like 3 check boxes on the paperwork while filing the marriage license.
I've always heard that pre nups aren't a thing here in my country, not sure how true. I'd sign one though just to make sure they feel comfortable.
@DennyS, which country are you from? Is the divorce rate low?
Load More Replies...
Getting married. I love my wife and kids, and getting married probably saved my life. I feel like I'm not cut out for marriage, though, and I have so many days where I wish I just chose never to get married and have kids.
For a person in this situation, I think it might be helpful to get therapy. They may think they're wishing they never got married and never had kids, and I don't know, maybe that's really what they wish for ... but it's also possible they have some unresolved issues and this wish is kind of a deflection off that.
I understand it as he would probably not be here anymore, if he was not married. And he is regreting to be burden to family?
Load More Replies...i understand wat they r saying but im the opposite. i sometimes think i dont deserve to b married. ive got epilepsy, anxeity disorder and arthritis in my knees. wenever something happens with one of them i feel like a burden but my husband doesnt see it that way. he always tells me he loves all my flaws bc they r a part of me.
Spending on a videographer. Not researching a good photographer.
When my buddy married his first wife about 15 years ago, they were shopping around for Videographers and photographers....and quickly decided it would be more financially responsible to spend the money on buying a pro-grade video camera, and just have the guests take turns on recording responsibilities. He still has the camera, that wife...not so much.
That we had to move in with parents initially because the house we were buying together fell through. It didn’t give us the best start to our marriage, but things are much better now.
My first marriage, the only things i dont regret are my kids and filing for divorce. My current marriage, absolutely nothing. My marriage is as close to perfect as it gets.
Inviting family to the wedding.
Did a visa marriage so we could be together at all and she wanted it to be public and I conceded and that was a big mistake. Should have just stayed on paper in a drawer for the utility of it. Telling people about it will only and did bring more problems than we could handle.
Not being aligned with sex drive. Would've been good to know that 10years ago. Love her more than anything but jerkin the old gherkin get old on your own after a while 🤣.
This is one of the most common complaints among married people who feel unhappy or unfulfilled: sexual incompatibility. You're rarely going to find two people who want the same amount of sex at the same time. There will ALWAYS be someone who's not getting it as often as they'd like. What people have to do is sit down, think about it. Is it REALLY that important? Yes? Get a divorce. But if you look at your marriage and say "Yeah, I really wish we did have sex more often, but you know what? What I get from this marriage in other ways is worth more to me than the sex, and eventually, I'll get old and won't care so much about sex anyway." and maybe it won't seem so bad. But I do think married couples need to cooperate, communicate, maybe try to compromise a bit?
If your wife is a SAH mom with a kid or two, and you come home, expect dinner to be ready and then for your wife to be horny afterwards, you're in for dissapointment. NOBODY is in the mood for sex after a day of dirty laundry, diabers, cooking, cleaning etc.
Load More Replies...
Losing my independence. And not having as much sex as I want. My wife decided to stop taking care of herself the minute we got married. Has gained about 15 pounds a year, every year, since we got married. Will not stop eating, will not work out, and any pushback from my side results in arguments and accusations of "fatphobia." her solution to this is for me to magically become attracted to obese women by listening to podcasts about fat shaming.
So you're not attracted to her but you do want her to put out? We're not getting the full story here and I understand that, but it sounds like you two are incompatible on more levels than just this.
I agree. The "not having as much sex as I want" makes me cringe. That's not really what marriage is about. Also, I suspect if the wife stopped taking care of herself, there could be a lot of reasons for that, but maybe it's depression? There's a lot I have questions about here.
Load More Replies... Having children too early.
I consider 32 too early — for me personally.
My neighbours had their kid at 45 and 60. I feel so sorry for him sometimes, they’ve never done a bday party or even anything kid centric. They take him hiking a lot, and he hangs around in the car park most days throwing stones. He seems bored and lonely
I disagree... having children too late creates more generational divide and if you take it in perspective, you might be depriving your kids from seeing their grandparents
If anyone has regrets, it’s likely not about marriage, it’s about being with the wrong person.
This is f*****g stupid. How do you not regret the marriage if it's to the wrong person? Pseudo intellectual BS.
Not sleeping with more women before I got married.
Sounds like you shouldn’t have gotten married. Not emotionally mature enough
I'm sorry to break it to you but if this is a regret, maybe marriage wasn't the best decision.
That I went from broke to well off and my ex went from well off to broke, and now that we’re getting divorced it’s reversed again.
I expected more out of her improving on herself; not being false she is definitely better than when we were dating/engaged, its just not in the direction I expected.
Urgh some of these are gross. Willing to bet he’s balding with a beer gut too
The Wife!
BTW thats not a joke.
We're 23 years together and had close to 10 years of "deadbedroom" (used "" cause we did have sex like once, twice a month while i needed it daily). I regret i didn't push it hard enough and tried to solve it in wrong way.
If you see it as something that you should've pushed for harder, I can fully understand why the wife is reluctant to fulfill your needs. It's okay to want more frequent sex, but it sounds very much like OP is only interested in scratching his own itch instead of engaging in sex that is pleasurable for both.
I agree. This is not something on should "push". Sometimes people are not sexual, particularly after children, and there can be a lot of reasons for it, and adding stress and pressure isn't going to help.
Load More Replies...He needed it daily? Is he like a rabid rabbit or something? Twice a month is quite average apparently. Sounds like he did her a favour removing himself
When I get angry at Wifey, I can't tell her to get out and go home.....
BECAUSE SHE'S ALREADY HOME!!!
Getting married in general, it's nothing more than an relationship insurance policy for women. Pre marriage, it wasn't bad. The more she got( house, marriage, child) she became one of those I don't do this, I don't do that women. I don't help, ice completely clocked out. I got to work, come home to my computer room, and only come out to use the restroom and eat dinner. Rinse and repeat. She sits complains about, all I see looking atbher is a false advertising sign on the coach. I stay for my kid because I enjoy seeing him daily, and over my f*****g did body she's getting half my bank account, I rather be 6 feet under.
"I got to work, come home to my computer room, and only come out to use the restroom and eat dinner." Yeah, I think I see the problem. Marriage is a partnership, and that includes making dinner, washing up, doing laundry, cleaning house, spending time with the kid, spending time with HER. This sounds really toxic. They should just divorce. This guy's "over my F+king did body ... I rather be 6 feet under" ... shaking my head. I'm just shaking my head.
which part you didn't understand? let me guess - this one "The more she got( house, marriage, child) she became one of those I don't do this, I don't do that women" As usual you pick and choose what helps your cause but completely ignore the rest. you see a problem???? you are so blind its not even funny. There is always a two-people fault in any failed relationship. but you only see and blame half of it.
Load More Replies...As far as I can understand of his rant, he doesn't do anything at home, just works and plays on his computer, but she is the villain here? And he thinks that's good for the kid? Oh, wait, no, he does it to see the kid, he doesn't give a s**t about if it's good or bad for the child.
My biggest regret, staying married after seeing just how jealous and controlling she can be. Every interaction with a female is seen as flirting/trying to bed them (even relatives). Any thing I do is not right because it wasn't done how she does/would do it. I only stay because I would lose my kids, pets, house, job, all financials. If I ever get out of this alive, I will never do this again because it just ain't worth it.
Me and my ex both came out of strange relationships, so when we met, we both thought the other was so normal that it seemed like fate that we met, and we fell deeply in love, or so it seemed. Instead, we had just met a normal person and interpreted it as meaning more than it did. We'd have been better as friends. Got two great kids out of it though.
I would have loved to get married by an Elvis impersonator! Not the biggest regret by far, but it is one I have.
getting married. we lived together for 4 years and got married when my mother threatened to take the baby from him if i died in childbirth. parents who are married where we were living at the time have certain rights automatically put in place when children come into the picture. also if i did end up passing away, by only being my boyfriend and not husband, she would get final say on whether to pull the plug or not if it came to that. where as if the parents are unmarried theres more hoops and if something happened to me, it wouldnt be guaranteed that the baby would automatically go into his care. we did it to protect our baby, but i would have been far happier simply living together with no marriage. i love him, but love is not the reason we got married
My biggest regret, staying married after seeing just how jealous and controlling she can be. Every interaction with a female is seen as flirting/trying to bed them (even relatives). Any thing I do is not right because it wasn't done how she does/would do it. I only stay because I would lose my kids, pets, house, job, all financials. If I ever get out of this alive, I will never do this again because it just ain't worth it.
Me and my ex both came out of strange relationships, so when we met, we both thought the other was so normal that it seemed like fate that we met, and we fell deeply in love, or so it seemed. Instead, we had just met a normal person and interpreted it as meaning more than it did. We'd have been better as friends. Got two great kids out of it though.
I would have loved to get married by an Elvis impersonator! Not the biggest regret by far, but it is one I have.
getting married. we lived together for 4 years and got married when my mother threatened to take the baby from him if i died in childbirth. parents who are married where we were living at the time have certain rights automatically put in place when children come into the picture. also if i did end up passing away, by only being my boyfriend and not husband, she would get final say on whether to pull the plug or not if it came to that. where as if the parents are unmarried theres more hoops and if something happened to me, it wouldnt be guaranteed that the baby would automatically go into his care. we did it to protect our baby, but i would have been far happier simply living together with no marriage. i love him, but love is not the reason we got married
