37 Tweets That Only Married People Will Understand

Ooohhh, yes!!!

Hahaha

Role reversal from our house.

But still ending up being the one who has to decide...

Thank you so much! I wondered if I am the only one :D

I see that look in my Wife's eyes very often, so I clear off somewhere for an hour or so.

Thank you. It's good to know it happens to other people too!!

Makes me think really... hahaha!!!

4 years together and that thought never crossed my mind. I hope it never will, either.

It's not funny, and I really hope it's not a common thing. I often get angry with my wife, but I'd never even think of hurting her. This aside, I have to agree with Jordan - this is a nasty double standard. Women are allowed to joke about punching men, but we have to remain perfect gentlemen or risk being called abusive.

Amen to that!!

Or chocolate; or cake; or chocolate cake; or cookies; or chocolate cake cookies; or donuts; or...

To keep tidy too. So there's less cleaning to be done.

In separate laptops in the same bed you mean ;-P

Same with kids!

we have that problem with the house slippers

Yessss!!!! :))

Peed on the seat at 3 a.m. because she left the seat down. As usual.

Nope. We don't ask. We just do it and laugh it out.

Yeah, but you both get kinda tired after living together for a few years. Unless we go to some special event or meeting, we both just basically wear our quick casual clothes when going out.

Screw that, you guys are spoiling them, my husband puts them in the dishwasher and even empties it periodically

I don't know that that's a "married people" issue. It's just a "this person is a slob" issue.

*husband: asks wife where clean underwear is. Wears dirty/no underwear until wife has washed some

That's why we color-code stuff in our house. If it's pink or purple, it's definitely not mine. Even though I like purple.

oh god, happened to me THE DAY we got married. Never stop since.

Don't ever have to worry about that one. He doesn't even know how to use the washing machine!

I'm bad at that one I'm always looking for the deals I can have a few things to get and be gone for a hour but I also like the me time.

lol

kindle paperwhite!

That's single life too

No problem there. He has a foot on his side of the bed... I have a foot on my side of the bed and the dogs take up all the space in the middle!

Me: "Are you hungry?" He: " Maybe" Me: "Make one sandwich for me too!"

Grocery shopping while the kids are on play dates...

Lol!

I used to drive my hubs crazy, wanting to pop his occasional black head, but after getting surgery on his testicle through his pelvis he got an oddly healed scar. You can't see it unless you're up close, and so for a few years we'd be fooling around, and start heading south, and come across a huge blackhead, and instead of what he was expecting when I headed down there, I'd start working on the blackhead. I had a compulsion about it, and it always killed the mood. So I'd try to stop, but compulsions aren't easy to break away from. And at some point I started doing it when I wasn't in the mood and he was being annoying, really annoying.. Worked out until he caught on and started removing the blackhead before trying to remove my bra. Now we've agreed I can do whatever I want to his blackhead, as long as I was completely topless the entire time... Goes to show you, compromise is the second most important part of a successful relationship... Lol love being first of course.

I'd have said compromise and loving someone more than you love yourself, or anything else (not counting kids, which are generally products of your love). Hard work is important too. Maybe it's because I have the most f****d up family, so I only had those (largely failed) marriages to learn about how to make it work. One thing I noticed is none of my relatives were ever willing to back down, say they were sorry, or compromise in any fashion. And none of the adults from my childhood are still together. Mom & dad #3, granny & gramps from childhood, or gramps she left him for when I was 10. Neither of my uncles are with the aunts I grew up with.

I don't think that counts, but it's still funny..

I have four kids and I don't spend $1k at Costco. Then again, if I didn't have four kids, I would have $1k to spend at Costco!