50 Funny Posts From People Who’ve Mastered Living By Themselves

To which you respond with, "What's it like, knowing you've lost to a bunch of cats?"

And women. It's startling to realize how many people hate women. The comparison to cats also made me realize that a lot of people view women with the same lens they view pets; obedience, breed, behavior, beauty, etc. It's gross.

It's the people who hate women who say that.

The alternative is living with a bunch of dogs. The animal doesn’t matter in Crazy ____ Lady/Man (yep there are men who have loads of pets too), the number of them does.

Or people who are worried for those cats.

It's not true that "dogs have owners, cats have staff". Dogs are animated toys, cats are people you have a relationship with. Only the emotionally lazy prefer dogs, they want love without any effort or return ... just like incels.

Well if you like the odor of cat urine, go for it!

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Of course it's people who hate cats. It's not said as a compliment

🤫🤫 it's blending in!

Gonna be real with you here, but I can't recall the last time I saw carrots or taters other than baking ones being sold in anything less than bags of way too many.

I always put them in the freezer, and before I go to bed I take out the slices that I expect to eat tomorrow and put them in the fridge. Works perfect for me, no more throwing away bread that has become stale.

Always freeze the bread here, then use toaster. Though requires a large enough freezer.

Bake your own, slice and freeze. Either defrost in a tupperware for fresh slices or toast a slice to defrost. I bake one loaf every two or three weeks.

Always wanted to be a maitresse 'd. People are amazed i can look down my nose at taller people, which is everyone.

Except the "force others to obey" both sound like your typical goth. Any studio flat qualifies as a castle, right?

if you don't drop something down your cleavage at least once you're doing it wrong

Crumbs, stains, grease spots—-and they always have her in the kind of o pajamas that are only brought out when the boyfriend stays overnight. You know, the sexy clingy satin chemise or something like that. Total b******t. When it’s just us at home by ourselves, we’re all for comfort, which is not sexy. Oversized tee shirt and sleep pants/shorts—-and not short shorts either. To the knee or at least mid-thigh, nothing showing a*s cheeks. The other stuff is male fantasy about what women do when alone, and most likely written by men who have never been alone and in a relationship with a woman that’s so comfortable the both of them can be totally their real comfortable selves—-and I mean burping and farting in front of each other comfortable. At that point we’re not breaking out the uncomfortable sexy lingerie, we’re just wearing comfy jammies. Both of us. The only difference is that his are clean and free of racing stripes (hers are always clean, btw)..

I read that as “wear your feed-top” and to be honest I like it either way.

Unfair

College apartment complex. One washer-dryer for 8 apartments. Right outside our door. Came out one night around 2am shortly after I heard the dryer stop. One of the girls from upstairs was essentially bare moving clothes from washer to dryer, after having emptied my clothes out and folded them. Eye contact made. I politely thanked her and went back into my place. We always greeted each other with a smile after that.

I take it you were hoping for this! ;-) https://youtu.be/FwG_wym3p68

A friend's co-counselor at a summer camp once had the local cops do his laundry for him. The guy had put *all* of his dirty clothes into the washer, except for the boxers he was wearing. Some other customer freaked out and called the cops. I don't know if the health department required customers to be wearing shirts and shoes, but the guy hadn't done anything illegal, so the cops had him sit in their car until he had dry clothes to wear.

I was having a crappy day. Until I read your comment. Blessings on you, Doofnuts!

I am immediately suspicious of people who don't like cheese! Lol. (But deep down I'm more jealous of you) haha

Doesn't like cheese, but you married him anyway?

Philly Bob Squires

Philly Bob Squires

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Your husband is broken... LOL!

Winning!