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People Would Have Preferred To Know These 30 Life Lessons Sooner, As Shared In This Online Group
It’s nicer to learn from others’ mistakes because you don’t need to go through that unpleasant or traumatic experience yourself to realize that you need to make a different decision or act in a different way.
Even though it is safe to say that the most valuable and memorable lessons are the ones that you go through yourself, it doesn’t hurt to listen to what advice more experienced people can give, especially if it is not that obvious and can prevent serious consequences in the future. That’s why Reddit user oigoabuya asked the internet “What are the lessons you learnt too late in life?” to which people replied with some valuable knowledge.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Just because you're blood related to someone, doesn't mean that you owe them anything. Toxic people are toxic people and you are not required to give them a single ounce of your attention if they are hurting you.
Luke Branwen 3 years ago
Family is like an appendix - you only have one, but when it becomes toxic, you cut it off for the sake of your health.
Jan Gardner 3 years ago
I'm shocked that people still think you can't cut ties just because of genetics. I forgive and move away.
Duane Ringlein 3 years ago
Broke off anything to do with my Mom because of how toxic she was, caused a rift between my sisters and I because they would acknowledge that she was toxic but was "the only mother we have". No regrets on my part, my life became a happier place without her.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
Learning this now with a cousin. Twice in two weeks, her words were hurtful and I even broke down crying (something I rarely let another make me do). As of this last event, there will be no more get togethers, no more plans outside of holiday with family groups. My mental health is more precious than keeping appearances.
Autumn Artemis 3 years ago
Blood is thicker than water. The whole saying however- “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb.” Is a much better summary.
Ivy la Sangrienta 3 years ago
Especially parents thinking their kids owe them something for existing. They didn't ask to be born, that's on you, ma'am.
RELATED:
#2
Never put your education/ job / plans etc on hold for a boyfriend / girlfriend especially while in college, especially when you’re 19.
Amy Taylor 3 years ago
When I was 19 my brother was in university in England. I had never been to Europe (I live in CA) he offered me a free place to stay and wanted me to come out and travel all over Europe with him and his friends. My boyfriend at the time said he'd break up with me if I went, so I didn't go. Looking back, him leaving me over that would be reason enough to have gone.
Hugh Cookson 3 years ago
Always take the opportunity to leave America for a while and see how the rest of the civilised (mostly) liberal world works - it would have opened your eyes. Hopefully, you are still young and unattached enough to still do it.
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Michael Largey 3 years ago
People who give up their education for someone else often receive an education of a very different kind.
Jennifer Norton 3 years ago
If someone really loves you they will encourage your education/job/plans. They will want them for you!
Bookmaiden 3 years ago
I was admitted to dental hygiene school and turned it down to get married...at 19. No, the marriage didn't last.
Autumn Artemis 3 years ago
I just broke up with my two year girlfriend because juggling college and everything else was literally chipping away at my mental health. Devastating
#3
Listen to your gut instinct. If something feels off about a person or situation, there’s a reason. Believe it the first time and walk away
ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
This is sound advice. You don't have to justify it, either... the fact that you are uncomfortable is reason enough to go
KombatBunni 3 years ago
As my Nan would always tell me, when in doubt don’t. Wise advice and I’ve done my best to listen
Amanda Rose 3 years ago
I am always told that I seem to be able to figure out a bad situation before everyone else is clued in. I'm an introvert and a people watcher. Human behavior is made up of patterns. There's a reason why we get uncomfortable with deviations from the norm.
NickTurtle 3 years ago
Doesn't work for people with anxiety disorder and phobias. We could never leave our homes, if we listened to our gut.
Lies Aerts 3 years ago
Should've listened to my gut and said "No" instead of yes when I got married. Would've created a sensation with the in-laws but would've spared me A LOT of misery!!
Michael Largey 3 years ago
My gut is located too close to two parts of my body which have given me very bad advice in the past.
clist414 3 years ago
This is a lesson I have avoided learning for 35 years... and I've chosen to listen to my gut (even just as an experiment). I've had so many misgivings and hesitations in the past that I haven't listened to, only to experience something negative later that I can trace back to not listening to that initial sense. My counselor has suggested that it sounds like I might be gaslighting myself when it comes toy doubts about my feelings. So now I say, listen to your gut. Even if you're wrong, you are being true to yourself. That matters.
Peeka_Mimi 3 years ago
Yes. Yes. Yes. I had to learn the hard way. I'm almost 50 now and finally learned.
#4
Happiness is enjoying the things you have, not the things to come.
XenoMurph 3 years ago
That's NOT all you have, it's just all you can see. I got therapy. Now I can sit in my bedroom and watch the sunset over the gardens and houses in my city and weep at the beauty of the clouds, and the agility of the bats hunting outside my window. Life is AWESOME. If you can, please get therapy, it lifts the veil that stops us seeing reality.
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Xandra 3 years ago
Things to come can also bring happiness, anticipation and planning can be half the fun (like for a vacation for instance).
XenoMurph 3 years ago
I think the post is referring to things that are never going to happen, unrealistic dreams, rather than realistic plans.
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Amanda Cox 3 years ago
Depression is worry about the past, anxiety is worry about the future. Neither can you change or control, but take you away from what you have. The present is a miraculous gift
Russell Rieckenberg 3 years ago
“..making plans for the future is of use only to people who are capable of living completely in the present.” Alan Watts
Mark Hachenburg 3 years ago
Then you wouldn't have enough physical or mental energy to be the best damned dressed Wolf! Cheer up!
Kika González 3 years ago
You have a deep will to live, there is something in you that drives you that you have SOMETHING you are worthy of ❤
#5
Sometimes you can do everything right and still fail.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
They say success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm 🙃
Hugh Cookson 3 years ago
Or empathy - think of a certain trumpster ......... failure in business, failure in relationships, failure in politics ; falls into a sewer and thinks he still smells of roses, but actually still smells of s**t. Delusional, hateful, spiteful, limp dicked fucktard. Vote for this idiot and you are seriously overestimating your intelligence.
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XenoMurph 3 years ago
There are two states of learning. Practice, and success. No such thing as "failure" it's just.... "practice".
Lydia Nijland 3 years ago
We actually learn more from failure than from success. If it is a success - nice! But means that it shows that we already can do it. If something fails it is an opportunity to find out what we could do better next time. That is how learning works.
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Autumn Artemis 3 years ago
“Everything will work out in the end, and if it isn’t working out then it maybe it isn’t the end.”
shawn mckinney 3 years ago
I don't mean to sound corny but I think of my 'failures' as lessons and stepping stones.
Matt MacFarlane 3 years ago
Edison: "I did not fail. I just found another way that doesn't work".
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
It's a taught mindset that only bad things happen to bad people, that if someone has had something bad happen to them, it must be because they did something wrong. Bad things, mistakes, mishaps can still happen to the best of anyone, just don't let it discourage you to quit.
#6
That saying NO can save you a lot of trouble down the line.
Calder DeFord 3 years ago
I wish i was good at saying no. I got in a very short relationship with someone that i didn't like like bc i couldn't say no. Shes a great person its just that i wasn't all that happy. It only lasted 6 months tho.
Randolph Croft 3 years ago
My best friend, a woman, now getting up to 60 (same as me) has zero capacity to say NO to men she doesn't want to date. She uses hypothetical maybes and the men NEVER take it as NO, ALWAYS take it as 'SOON' or 'NOT YET'. I rip out my already sparse hair over this, but thank Dog she's aged out of the need for that sort of loser attention.
Shelby Moonheart 3 years ago
You are defined by what you say NO to, more than what you say yes to.
#7
I think, oddly, the lesson I learned is that there is no such thing as 'too late in life' - at 26, I was homeless, out of rehab, and broke. Things have changed dramatically for the better.
Nichole Harris 3 years ago
My hubby and I also started late....I at 33, he at 54...we're sober...we're adulting...we're happy!!!! We did it and we were career mess ups! Like HoF quality LMAO.....Faith and determination are key
ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
This! Anyone can work toward making their life better, no matter how many things they may feel they have messed up in the past.
karen snyder 3 years ago
I am impressed and happy for OP's recovery efforts and journey. I think it's so eye-opening to hear a 26 year old saying, "it's never too late." Addiction does that; makes a young person feel like there's nothing else to live for, no future, no hope. My friend, your life has BARELY begun, hold on to it!! No one should feel like it's "too late" for anything at 26, or 30 or even 40. But, we are not eternal. When you hit 45 that kids aren't really a great idea, (for a woman,) 75 that the hiking trip to Central Congo and free climbing half dome become unlikely, but there are folks in their 80s that finish a degree, touch a humpback whale, meet a new love, take up piano. My 94 year old grandmother can't do her watercolors anymore so she took a class in graphic design: she quit brandy at 67. I didn't get sober until my 40s. I'm learning foreign languages and have my first job with benefits. Don't ever, ever, ever give up on life.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
Nothing is "too late in life" because you never know how late in life you actually are.
Jennifer Norton 3 years ago
At 39 I got divorced and was a single mom. I met the love of my life and started a life with him. We are now 46 and 56 and pursuing our dreams. Nope... never too late!
#8
Look after your knees and your teeth.
Russ Kincade 3 years ago
Brush at night to keep your teeth and brush in the morning to keep your friends!
Headless Roach 3 years ago
And if you're looking for an alternative - an onion a day keeps 'em all away
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3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
Knees, back, eyes, and teeth! (And skin for those like me who care about wearing spf every day!)
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Ana 3 years ago
Problem is, I got to both a bit too kate because I was never taught how to take care of myself. I learned more about taking care of my teeth from Instagram dentists who share great tips for free than from my parents and from the dentists I went to. You might find it strange, but no one brushed their teeth in our house or explained how important it is and I never got into the habit. I had almost all my teeth restored and barely anything is left of the original bone.
Susan Mercurio 3 years ago
And your feet. You only have one pair and they have to last for the rest of your life.
Laurie Hengel 3 years ago
A person's geneology matters way more than many people think. If both parents, close relatives have bad teeth, you are quite likely to also. I went to the dentist near weekly in my childhood (think he was milking the state because we were on Medical Assistance in the 60's- mid 70's. Both parents (and my only sibling) had all their teeth removed b4 age 25 I had massive infections that weren't easy to cure back in the 60's and 70's, had a upper denture at 18, despite almost constant care. Still have issues over 40 yrs later
#9
You shouldn’t care what your high school experience was good or bad or what your classmates think of you because who cares about high school after 18?
If high school was your peak you have a sh**ty life ahead
Headless Roach 3 years ago
I can barely remember my university... what an old headless roach I have become 😏
Headless Roach 3 years ago
I looked up "how long can a roach live without its head?" and now I'm really terrified
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Mariah Gensmer 3 years ago
I see high school as a chapter i finished. I have no desire to look back because it's done its over and i don't care about it.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
For some of my students, high school gave them what they didn't have at home - a family.
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
Living well and looking towards the future is your best revenge on the past.
Snorkeldorf 3 years ago
I went to my 10 year high school reunion. I assumed my best friend was going too but she was more than reluctant because she said we went to school with complete jerks. I coaxed her into it by saying it was 10 years ago and people change. Had fun seeing a few of the people we were friends with back then and catching up. The rest? She was right. They were still jerks and had gotten worse. They had a DJ but nobody was dancing. My friend and I got up to dance to get things started. When we got off the dance floor the former most popular girl in school stopped me and said "You do realize nobody else was dancing." What????? Why???? I also won a prize at the raffle they had. A guy walked up to me and said "Did you even go to our school?" I did not attend another reunion.
sturmwesen 3 years ago
There is a great quote in "I am not ok with this":Take, uh... Mr. Bradley Lewis. His best case scenario is, what, managing some regional insurance sales company? Where he gets to, I don't know, call the shots on Employee of the Month? I mean, these are the people that will actually attend the five, ten, 20-year reunion, because, aside from this, nothing else all that noteworthy is gonna happen. This is as good as it gets for them. And I like watching 'em, like Hamlet, and when everything goes to sh*t in the end... and everyone dies.
#10
That a death in the family brings out the worst in people.
Well-Dressed Wolf 3 years ago
My dad died last year. My mother is still lying to people and saying my dad is still alive. She refused to even tell his brother and sister that he died. It isn’t a mental issue on her part - she’s just a mean, narcissistic a-hole who likes soaking up the pity points she gets for “caring for a disabled husband”.
Michelle C 3 years ago
Thankfully, death can bring out the best in people, too, because the impact of the death may change a person for the better.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
Grandfather died and suddenly this woman who kept a watch over him came out with this newly established will (my father had his original in a safe in a bank) which overrode the older one. We legit believe she may have unalived him while getting all of his items. I have never met a human being as horrific as that person, and frankly the items she got were old items with no sentimental value. I hope to never encounter that kind of situation again (we ain't even rich either, it was literally for his trailer).
Brazen 3 years ago
My husband's grandmother passed away and in the country they are in, the eldest son of the family gets everything by law. Since his father passed away that should have been him. His uncle and his mother forged papers and signatures to steal it all. 1.2 million dollars worth. We could not afford a lawyer to fight what was happening. So he lost his inheritance and his mom at the same time and they wonder why he won't speak to family.
#11
That you can't please everyone so you shouldn't worry about trying to
Eat Dirt Crow 3 years ago
I can only please one person per day. Today's not your day. Tomorrow doesn't look good either.
Headless Roach 3 years ago
It's actually the greatest mistake you can make in life - to be continually trying to satisfy everyone around you
Calder DeFord 3 years ago
Thank you, but ill probably try to please everyone bc thats who i am and its too hard to change it.
Autumn Artemis 3 years ago
Not everyone will like you- if bad people like you then you are doing something very very wrong. (Or you’re an undercover spy, in which case you’re doing great)
Mrs Irish Mom 3 years ago
My mother thought me this nice and early and im teaching it to my 12 yo daughter
#12
Don't bring things home from work.
I had a bad day at work. Came home and got in an argument with my gf about something...and stopped halfway. Yes, she really had done something, but the only reason I got so angry about it was because...I had already been angry, from work. Otherwise i might have just let it go.
From then on I learned to separate work from home. I was 28. I felt like this was a lesson I should have learned earlier.
LillieMean 3 years ago
I say in my mind at the door of the workplace: when I leave, work me stays here and when I come, home me stays here. Helps me, my loved ones and my colleagues.
Russell Rieckenberg 3 years ago
"Don't bring things home from work." I thought you meant like a red Swingline stapler.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
I come home and vent about s**t that happened and let everyone know I'm not in a good mood and need some times to unwind, vent a little, and surround myself in comfort and familiarity. That helps a lot.
Caro Caro 3 years ago
That's so true. I used to be able to vent to my husband. He just listened and was very wise .. he never gave advice. I now vent to my cat who also never gives advice.
Load More Replies... Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
Some adults NEVER learn this, so good on you for being self aware!!!
Ginny Weasly 3 years ago
Doesn’t work when you are a student. You get home and have more work to do!
Seth 3 years ago
Keep trying, you'll get there! It helps to consciously acknowledge the work items stressing you out at the end of your work day so you can put a pin in them til your next work day. Trying to just stop thinking about work cold turkey is like trying to hold the lid down on a barrel full of monkeys.
Load More Replies... #13
Your boss is NOT looking out for YOUR best interests. He is looking out for HIS best interests.
Corporate has no loyalty to you. You are just a replaceable cog.
Nice guys rarely get promoted. They just get more responsibility. Semi-aggressive advancement planning and prioritizing the advancement tasks over items specified in job description is about the only way to advance salary faster than what is paid to new hires. Even then jumping ship is usually the best way to advance salary and get more responsibility.
Hugh Cookson 3 years ago
Always make sure you get yourself into a position where you know more than anyone else does in the organisation or are not easy to replace ; then play mind games with your immediate superiors. Hints about leaving are good, leaving an unfinished CV on your desk is better. Words in ears are even better .....
Bruce Horton 3 years ago
You wouldn't have been worth the trouble on my team. There's the door, have a nice life. PS you're not as irreplaceable as you think.
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Nick S 3 years ago
This is semi terrible advice. Good companies do not do this and make sure to value their employees or they lose you
InvincibleRodent 3 years ago
The trouble with that is that bad companies are much more common, and some of them are REALLY good at pretending that they're not "that" bad. Even a good company will list your position the very day they learn of your passing. People there might, but no job is ever going to love you back.
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The Starsong Princess 3 years ago
Here’s better advice: 1) leave toxic jobs and bosses as quickly as you can.2) Have a plan for advancement if you want to advance and make sure your boss and grand boss know about it and buy in. 3) Be realistic about what it takes to advance to the next level and understand what you need to develop to get there. If there is no path to advancement, change jobs. 4) Accept feedback graciously and show you are making changes/ want to improve. 5) Take on additional responsibilities strategically and concentrate on working more effectively and efficiently, not harder or longer. Make sure you are doing the work your boss and grandboss think is important. 6) Realize you have to keep learning at every job or you will become obsolete. 7) Ensure you are in the top half of performers and if you are not, make sure you understand how to improve. If the answer from your boss is something like ‘work 60 hours a week”, see #1. Thank you for coming to my Tedtalk. .
Tony Fragnito 3 years ago
Doing your job well and positioning someone else to take over those responsibilities is the best way to show your ready for more. Only bad managers or execs aren't looking to develop people that show initiative. Ones that horde information and don't share with others are the ones that need to be eliminated.
Keating_5 3 years ago
Learn the skills, improve yourself, then jump ship if they can’t recognize you’ve improved over time or worse, if they devalue you by overloading you with work. People say I’m cruel/crazy for doing this but I’ve earned a better salary, more benefits, and a better work-life balance each time I’ve done it, so…
#14
You shouldn’t try doing a backflip for the first time when you’re drunk.
ArodTheHorrible 3 years ago
There is much more to the story that taught this wisdom that I would love to hear
Hill Branda 3 years ago
You shouldn't try doing ANYTHING for the first time when you're drunk.
Artistic Panda (he him) 3 years ago
What about getting drunk when you’re drunk?
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Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
...or try to ride a bicycle at all, much less in the snow at night.
Szirra 3 years ago
Solid advice. Also, don‘t drive a shopping cart while drunk or at all really.
Natalia Allen 3 years ago
Let's be fair most shopping carts seem to be drunk half the time!
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#15
I know this sounds wrong but hear me out. DONT do what you love for a living, unless it pays well. Research your career path before choosing one and prioritize potential earnings and time off. Do what gets you the most money and benefits with the least amount of time invested. Do what you love in your free time, making it your career can ultimately make you resent it and lose your enthusiasm for the hobby you love most. Almost every job becomes a mundane chore if you do it every day, no matter how much you enjoy it now. I know it’s anecdotal, but, I always loved wrenching on cars. I started tinkering long before I could drive. I’m damn good at it and made a career out of it. The problem is, doing it every day has made me lose interest in doing it for fun. I don’t have cool projects anymore. I see cars as basic transportation now and have no interest in building/modifying anything. The pay isn’t terrible, but it isn’t great either. If I could do it again I’d have kept it as a hobby and gone into a field that is boring but pays for REAL life outside of work. Ultimately work is a means to an end for most people and all of the high minded ideals of “do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life” stuff is b******t. Get that money, retire as soon as you can, and live life to the fullest while you can.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
So true. If you turn what you love to do for fun into something you have to do to survive, it quickly becomes no fun to do anymore.
3 Owls In A Coat 3 years ago
My poor boyfriend loves motorcycles and became a red seal tech - now he hates it, says it took all the fun out of it :( he loves bikes and riding and the culture and will never leave the lifestyle but he’s looking for a new job now that he won’t hate so much.
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Helen Waight 3 years ago
I fix computer issues because it’s interesting, I’m good at it, and they pay me. I actually love doing and designing geek embroidery but I know if I had to do it to deadlines, hinge my pay on it and worry about the work selling I’d hate it.
Honu 3 years ago
Yep. I think having a job that interests you is great! I code. I like solving puzzles and fixing things. It has afforded me a nice standard of living. While I don't find every problem interesting, on balance I feel it's not a bad way to spend 8+ hours a day. On occasion, I've been told I should cook or bake professionally. I do enjoy it, but working in that field is grueling and pays significantly less. The reality of doing it as a job is more pumping out the same things over and over again rather than spending my time creating awesome new things. Similar to some days I spend coding but for less money and with more back pain. I'm pretty sure it would suck the joy right out of it. With something like your handmade arts and crafts, people rarely want to pay you what your time is really worth, too. I enjoy embroidering and some other crafts, too. I can't see doing them all day every day without risking an RSI.
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Brian bell 3 years ago
I am on the fence with this one. Working for 50 years 40 to 60 hours a week at something you don't really like doesn't seem like much of a life in the long run. And most people's hobbies change as they get older.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
You don't have to not like what you do. Just don't make something you do for your own pleasure and enjoyment become something you HAVE to do to make money. Obligation can change the way you think of things.
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Kines Tezja 3 years ago
Sometimes I think it may be true. And then I remember there are people like Paweł Sasko (gamedev).
Laetitia Guilbaud 3 years ago
I can understand his point of view because it's his experience. Yes, It's a hard decision to make a living out of your "hobby" especially if it's just a hobby... But it's NOT a hobby if it's in your guts. If it is what you love, you need to do it because that's who you are. I have been painting for 20 years and 14 years ago I decided to be a full time artist and quit my side job. I started to make a living out of it and I have never lost interest ever since. But yes, it's a lot of work but it's rewarding! It was tough to have other jobs during day time and go back home to be creative at night. Best decision ever, I am glad I do a job I love despite worrying from time to time which is normal. You might not see retirement so if you feel in your guts that your "hobby" is actually the job you want to do, and if you can take the chance to try, then just go for it now and see what happens.. BTW, very cliché the picture of an artist to illustrate this post 😉
Queen Jackson. 3 years ago
I wanna be an ob/gyn. I’ll never have birthing children as a hobby but I know it pays and the human body will never be mundane to me.
OmBoyGanesh 3 years ago
I do things for money, I do things out of obligation and/or empathy and I do things for fun. Sometimes they overlap, but usually not. I’m not keeping score, but it’s a nice fleeting thought when they converge.
#16
People aren't thinking about you even a fraction of the amount you think they're thinking about you.
You're noise in a lifetime of experiences and a busy mind. This is a good thing. It means you can just get what you need from people and not over think it, safe in the knowledge that they'll forget you almost immediately.
XenoMurph 3 years ago
So did I and I realised my daughter was starting to, possibly due to me and my anxiety. So I decided I can;t let that happen. So although I'm incredibly socially anxious, we will jump in puddles in the middle of town. I'll tickle her in the middle of a crowded station. put on a crazy outfit while shopping. Anything to show that it doesnt matter what we do or who is looking. Being "us" is what matters. It's a sort of aversion therapy. It has worked for both of us.
Load More Replies... genevieve.delangie 3 years ago
yes!! i hate when people think they are my top priority and that i’m thinking about them and their needs 24/7. calm down people!
Rich Cronshey 3 years ago
spotlight effect. Another of the myriad ways our brains have evolved to torment us.
Ryan Frundles 3 years ago
Took me a while to drill this one in for myself. Really helped when I started thinking of it the other way around, how much do I think about other people?
Lydia Nijland 3 years ago
Therefore it isn't important what people think about you. Like when they gossip or lie about you. Don't worry. The ones that know you; well ... they know (better). The ones that don't know you: they don't care.
OmBoyGanesh 3 years ago
In the rare moments I’ve given an ounce of worrisome consideration to what people think of me, I remind myself their opinion of me is none of my business. And it goes both ways: if I’m hopeful someone thinks highly of me or if I’m purposefully trying to keep them at bay. I show them who I am through words and actions and they can do as they wish with that.
Load More Replies... BoopBoop 3 years ago
People don't like to hear this, but being constantly convinced that everyone is thinking bad things about you comes from the same source as people who think everyone thinks that they are amazing: the ego. It's self-involvement either way. The truth is that everyone else is a fully-formed human being with an internal world that is just as complex as yours, maybe more so in some cases. They barely notice you.
Michael Largey 3 years ago
"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being talked about." - Oscar Wilde
StrangeOne 3 years ago
Depends on the person. I always know my bf thinks of what I can offer him all day because of how often he messages me. Usually asking me if I know something or can give him advice or to vent. Yup. People don't really think of other people. They think of what they can get out of them. Sorta of a dystopian, sobering reality we refuse to believe and make up fantasies of how much we care about the person as a person and not what they bring to the table. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I think it's a truth that's always denied. Open for discussion, please.
BoopBoop 3 years ago
You're talking about someone close to you, though. This is more about the hundreds of people you meet or interact with daily. You exist for those people only when you're in their eyeline, and then stop existing the second you leave it, unless you managed to make a very big impression on them somehow. Like, there's a guy in my hometown who likes to go on daily walks with his parrot, cat and goat, and even though I've only witnessed it once, he still pops into my head once a year for 30 seconds - 1 minute.
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butt soup 3 years ago (edited)
that's different. your brother is someone you care about a lot, of course you think about him often. this post is about how anxiety can make people feel like everyone is staring at them but in reality nobody will remember them or their flaws in 5 minutes so it's fine to go buy a coffee even if you think you're having a bad hair day.
Load More Replies... #17
1) Soul mates aren't a thing. 2) Learn to fight in a relationship without raising your voice and keep a check on your emotions, it's you and your SO against the problem not you against them.
Max M 3 years ago
Whem me and my gf moved together, i was not used to being yelled at, and she was used to yell during arguments from home. My brain made some kind of shut off, and made me think, this is to noisy, i go away from the noise. She got pissed but with time we found common ground, talking in normal volume about problems, and i didnt walk away.
Lousha 3 years ago
If you think it is not a thing, it's just because you were not lucky enough to stumble upon yours yet.
RafCo (he/him) 3 years ago (edited)
This soul mate thing is dangerous and leads people to very unhealthy relationships and behavior. Let's say that sure you have soul mates, but in a world with 7 billion people, there's probably a few thousand that qualify for you. So if your soul mate leaves or dies, you are not destined to be alone and broken.
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E2U&U2 3 years ago
I had a soulmate. My soul recognized him on our first date, and I knew he was the man I would marry. He didn't do anything notable on the date. It was more the lack of trying; I had never felt so comfortable, at ease, and safe. He was 24 when we met and 43 when he transitioned, but for 19 years, he was my lover, my best friend, my ride-or-die, and my daughter's father. I'm a nice person, but I can be petty. He made me want to be the best version of myself. I never knew it was possible to laugh so hard, be so in sync, or love so deeply. When he died a piece of me gave chase, people say I've never been quite the same, but how could I be with that gaping hole in my chest? 22 years have passed, and I still feel his presence. Not holding me back from living but encouraging me to embrace life and live it fully. I try really hard to do that, to please him as I always did. I know someday, in some way, we'll meet again.
Kookamunga 3 years ago
I think you can have 38 soulmates. These include romantic partners, friends, teachers, the delivery guy, dogs, nachos, books, places etc.
Heather Resatz 3 years ago
I don't think we have just one soulmate, some are learning soulmates and some are loving soulmates .. try to only make life commitments with the loving soulmates
Brandy P 3 years ago
Idk what a "soulmate" is supposed to be, exactly. But my partner and I are coming up on 4 years and, despite the lifetime of multigenerational trauma we both experienced and continued into our adult relationships, we have never been violent, abusive or toxic with each other. We want each other to have less stress and do what we can toward this goal. We are what people bring out in us, and each person brings out different things. It took me until I was 40 to meet someone who brought out in me health. I think that's a soulmate.
Rachknits 3 years ago
This is lovely, I'm glad you've found a partner and can heal together
Load More Replies... Emma S 3 years ago
If you convince yourself that the person you're witn is your soul mate you'll never get over them if you break up, and you'll struggle to build another meaningful relationship in future. Chances are if soulmates did exist, with 8 billion people in the world you'd probably never meet yours.
#18
We all make mistakes, dont dwell on it
Mabelbabel 3 years ago
Don't dwell on it, certainly, but learn from it and find out how you can do better next time.
Hugh Cookson 3 years ago
Well a certain Trump never has and probably never will thanks to his front loading of the judicial system whilst he was what is arguably the worst ever presidency since Nixon ...... oh if you vote for him I can definitely say that you will get what you asked for - good luck America, thank god I don't live there any more.
Potato patato 3 years ago
I'm so tired of unnecessary politics, please stooooooop🙏
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Autumn Artemis 3 years ago
Hold yourself accountable but don’t tear yourself apart over mistakes.
#19
If you made mistakes, always confront them and the consequences right away. Waiting doesn't make it better, it makes it worse.
Deborah Harris2 3 years ago
True just get it over and done with. Bottling something inside you just adds to the guilt.
Paul V Fleming 3 years ago
a friend one told me to "Tell the truth, as soon as you can." this has worked for me.
Load More Replies... Mabelbabel 3 years ago
Learn to apologise sincerely and be accountable for your own words and actions. Not a pseudo-apology like "I'm sorry if you misunderstood what I did" because that's blaming the other person. A genuine apology will help deal with difficult interactions, and most people will accept it and move forwards without holding grudges when they see you are sincere.
The Short Lady 3 years ago
Make your apology with a plan about how to prevent similar mistakes in the future.
clist414 3 years ago
Yes and learn to just apologize and take responsibility. 9/10 this actually makes people trust and respect you more, and if the person you are interacting with has integrity even better. Though I know this is really tough if you were raised in an environment that took advantage of vulnerability or where there were bullies
Celtic Pirate Queen 3 years ago
Very first thing I learned in business - if you find out you made a mistake, own up to it immediately. You will be much more respected for taking responsibility.
Alexej Dvorak 3 years ago
This is great advice for being the bigger person, but I have to admit, I have gotten away smugly with way too much sh!t in life by doing nothing and waiting it out.
#20
Budget save and invest
Boring af but makes a huge difference
genevieve.delangie 3 years ago
i really hope houses aren’t to expensive when i’m an adult 😬 (i’m 13)
MonicaChicagoGal 3 years ago
Just finish school and work hard and you'll have no problems buying a house try not to worry or even about it right now...
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Peter J. Margesson 3 years ago
I chose a different route. At 26 I was bored. I quit my job, packed a backpack and travelled to England. Then onto Norway. I continued this lifestyle for 6 years getting a job when I started to run out of money. Met and married my wife and we both continued traveling until she fell pregnant. Stopped that lifestyle after 6 years. 43 years later I am retired with s comfortable pension. Own no house very little material stuff. I have zero regrets.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
Less material stuff means less stuff to drag around. It's just stuff. Sentimental things don't really matter. We instill meaning into some things because the grieving mind desperately wants closure or is in denial the person is gone and lives through that object. The object doesn't even have had to meaning much to it's og owner, but the loved one could hold it as such. Either way, the more I think about it the less mentally healthy it sounds. Experiences are held in the mind until you die and all the stories you tell to everyone will be told to the next people, and those are sentiments that don't end up in thrifts stores or the trash.
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Pandasizing World Peace 3 years ago
I always knew I should be saving but when you're always under water financially it's pretty impossible. Don't try to get me to set up an IRA while I have to count change to put gas in my car.
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
And don't loan money to people. I mean an unreasonable amount maybe 20 years so bucks but never thousands unless possibly you get collateral like a vehicle or verified expensive items.
#21
You can lose a finger wearing a ring.
Chucky Cheezburger 3 years ago
And that's why I don't wear a ring. I do industrial maintenance and could very easily lose a finger or worse. My wife would prefer to have me fully functional. She knows I'm not going anywhere, ring or no ring.
Pheebs 3 years ago
This happened to my ex. His wife didn’t like he didn’t wear his ring all day, even though he worked a job that it was forbidden to do so. Ended up getting his finger caught in a chain due to the ring, and chain cut the finger off. So after they were able to reattach the finger, he had to get a tattooed ring to replace wearing an actual ring. They eventually split, and now he’s stuck with her brand.
Autistic McWolferson the Forth 3 years ago
More proof that the institution of marriage is 100% unnecessary/useless in MOST cases.
Load More Replies... genevieve.delangie 3 years ago (edited)
i’m cringing looking at all these stories in the comments 😬😬
Sans Serif 3 years ago
I've seen it happen to someone jumping up to grab something on top of a locker. It caught the front edge and gravity did the rest.
Scott Rackley 3 years ago
Yeah, my job requires no rings, watches, necklaces, long sleeves (nothing on your arms/hands below the elbow), lanyards, long hair. Anything that be caught by some machines is going to end up with the machine keeping something normally attached to you. They had a new safety guy come in one who wanted me to wear gloves. He got the "are you stupid" look.
Waite Forit 3 years ago
Not just the finger. The accident can also pull muscles and tendons out of your hand and arm.
Staysafewarmdry 3 years ago
Wearing a ring when changing a car battery can make for an unfortunate situation when the ring becomes a conduit for electricity and heats up red hot like the wires in a bread toaster.
Whitefox 3 years ago
As a vet tech many moons ago, I had a cat come in that had a completely degloved leg from the shoulder to the paw. It had actually healed well, but it looked like he had a skeleton leg. We amputated it for him and he got a loving furrever home.
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Alleman Jennifer 3 years ago
My cousin was climbing a tree when he was a kid with a plastic ring on. Jumped out of the tree. Ring caught on a little branch. Cousin landed on the sidewalk without his ring finger. POP!
#22
1) You are not obliged to love your parents. This is a hard one but some parental behaviours get toxic and you can't possibly keep them happy constantly
2) You are not obliged to constantly help out / listen to people especially when they take too much help / vent to you too much. Let people make mistakes. Let them learn
3) Just because you did well in primary school doesn't mean everything will come to you automatically in life; learn to put real effort into your work
4) A lot of people you meet will be cold, cruel and selfish. You will get used. Life is a constant struggle to avoid being one of those people.
XenoMurph 3 years ago
Love your parents, but realise they are imperfect and you may not be able to spend much time with them if they are seriously flawed. Help people if you can but realise when it's time to back off. Yea, learn to work hard, and learn to enjoy it. Getting used is the price we pay for friendships. It's a two way street. Sometimes we might be in a position where we need help without the ability to pay it back. That could be seen as "using" our friends. In truth we all need a hand sometimes. But just be wary of people who don;t even try to be reciprocal.
Peej Maybe 3 years ago
Number 1 right there. I have no idea why my parents are such massive racists.
RoseAnne Hutchence 3 years ago
"Absolutely" to the first three, but we attract people very much like ourselves. Figure that out. From there (presuming you're reasonably intelligent), life just keeps getting better.
Diphylleia Grayi 3 years ago
I think the first one should include different degrees of consanguinity my parents are a valued example of how parents must be, the ones that come from them, not at all.
#23
People will tell you a lot of things, but their actions are what is important. Someone will tell you that they will always be there for you, but that is not guaranteed. They will say they want you to be happy, but then do things that hurt you. Sometimes without knowing, sometimes on purpose, sometimes because they are a coward.
Max M 3 years ago
People say alot, but when it is time for action, they are running the other way. Words are cheap. people who talk alot have lower value to me.
The crushinator 3 years ago
Somehow, everyone i meet who says this with such contempt are people who continuously fail to understand that they are part of the problem.
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Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
A corollary to this is: Pay attention to who shows up. You may be surprised.
Mark Kelly 3 years ago (edited)
The point is never rely on someone when you can rely on yourself. That's why I only ask for help at the last second and always try and do stuff myself.
Anik Lessard 3 years ago
I don't believe in words anymore and now I don't believe in actions either really. I believe in patterns.
#24
It's always better to do your work immediately rather than putting it off for later.
Deborah Harris2 3 years ago
I always leave the hardest task 'til last, I really wish I didn't.
JJ 3 years ago
There's an app called "NewDay" which helps beating procrastination mindfully by asking some questions about the task and making you think about your feelings toward it. It's free. It helped me a lot with my thesis a few years ago. (No, I am neither the developer, nor do I get anything for telling people about it ;))
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SnapStingray687 3 years ago
This concept is foreign to me. Said by an expert procrastinator that may or may not be me.
Keating_5 3 years ago
Sometimes I can’t do “the frog task” as I call it first, but I’ll do the “middling tasks” that I don’t really love or hate to build up to it often times, or I’ll do the tasks that take the longest so I can take a long break and then come back to the hardest task with the added pressure that if I don’t do it now, it won’t get done in time and I’ll be in trouble-because I hate to not meet deadlines when I can!
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Mabelbabel 3 years ago
You're never, ever going to get to the end of your 'to do' list, so learn to pace yourself and divide up your tasks in an efficient way, doing the most urgent and most complex first. And learn to delegate-is there someone else who is better placed to do a particular task?
Seadog 3 years ago
Thanks to the new version of our BOS, everything we do just became difficult. I really hate programmers that don't bother to ask the end user what they need and refuse to listen after the fact. You're not perfect and your software that you think is great is a disaster. If I owned that company I'd fire every one of them. They can certainly kiss any future clients goodbye unless it's one that has never used and BOS before
#25
Be patient and wait. It's better to be alone than with someone that doesn't respect you.
No matter how much or good your are to someone, some of them will screw you over.
Always look after yourself first.
Start early with physical hobby and keep fit, you have one body and there is no replay.
If you love someone but they don't love you.. move on. It will hurt like hell but in the long run, you'll be happier.
Giving money doesn't equate to affection, the gratitude will be short lived and you'll only be an ATM to them in the near future.
Natalia Allen 3 years ago
Something profound that was said to me once when I was struggling to get over someone leaving me. A dear friend when I was crying and saying that I love him so much kindly said to me "Do you love him enough to let him go?" I did and then my healing began.
#26
Looking back so far, here’s my list of gotta dos:
1. Get a skill. College, intern, trade school, self taught - doesn’t matter. Get a skill.
2. Minimize your debt. Do anything to stave off picking up loans, racking up credit cards. Even with a skill, if half your money goes to paying debt, you’re gonna have a bad time.
3. Don’t chase others (relationships). Be the best you possible. Read. Work out. Think. Be happy by yourself. People like people who have a story to tell. Don’t live through others.
Thomas Ewing 3 years ago
Don't be a clingy dependant. Stand on your own two feet like a solid citizen.
#27
Never allow someone to treat you as their therapist. If they tell you all their problems but get defensive about your simple requests, they are not worth your time.
JPotts 3 years ago
When they complain about the same problems over and over and never do anything to change.
Pandasong! 3 years ago
I am a therapist, unfortunately I haven't had a partner yet that respected and accepted the frase: I am not your therapist, it's not their fault, occupational hazard makes me come across as very open to their feelings, which is why they like me in the first place. It's just when I say this is beyond our relationship when s#@t goes south. Still learning I guess...
Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 3 years ago
Also, if someone important to you is unloading their stuff, just ask them if they need to vent or if they actually want to hear some advice from you. Most of the time people just need a sympathetic ear first and then will work out their problem themselves.
StrangeOne 3 years ago
I've been avoiding one girl who used to be my co-worker. Someone please tell me if I'm being unreasonable or cold for not having any empathy for someone who managed to save a couple dozen of thousands of moolah, has had the opportunity to go to college, with a grant to help pay for books/courses/etc, but is feeling down because she thinks she could've saved more and is so scared of spending her savings on books she needs, so she gets help from the grants dept. This girl has just a phone bill and pays for groceries, as she lives with her parents. She comes to me complaining and getting all worried. I know getting a grant is with Employment and Income Assistance, and is supposed to be used as a last resort. Meanwhile, I live on my own with a dependent, and struggle just to pay the bills. I would love to be in the position this girl is in. Had to stop talking to her. Yeesh.
Deborah Harris2 3 years ago
Being empathic is draining, I have one friend that I love dearly but after seeing her and listening to her talk about herself non stop for a few hours I need a two week holiday to get over it :)
Pheebs 3 years ago
I agree. I’ve parted ways with a lot of friends over the years as I felt like they were draining me dry. I was spending more time listening to their woes, helping them with their problems, that I stopped doing anything for myself. More than one of them called me selfish when I tried to tell them my woes. Got called a martyr by one.
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Reynard 3 years ago
I learned recently that on the MBTI, I'm an INFJ. Upon reading more on this peronality type, it clicked - INFJ is literally called 'the counselor'. Throughout my life people have sought me for advice and tell me tell me their secrets. I've always been happy to lend an ear and help when I can, and for secrets, I'm a vault. I also thought that this happened to most people, but I learned that isn't even remotely true. It's a blessing and a curse; blessing in that it feels nice to be valued for your advice and trusted with secrets, but a curse because I'm really empathic and take on the feelings of those who talk to me.
Wysteria_Rose 3 years ago
Learned this in high school; this guy kept coming to me for advice about his unrequited "crush." I told him to keep a journal, write his feelings down. The idiot wrote her a love letter which she then reported b/c apparently he had been bothering her longer than he told me and the principal gave him a expulsion threat for harassment. I quit giving anyone advice after that.
#28
The value of responsibility, to me it's an ethical thing. Doing the right thing eases your conscience so much more than just doing what you feel like doing. Sure it can be stressful, but you sleep so much better and feel more at ease when you do what you know is right.
Neill Powell 3 years ago
Ethics are a tricky avenue. Keeping within the law is the safer route.
#29
That flossing really does help.
Mary Hiers 3 years ago
Yep. It took me a while to get into the habit of daily flossing, but my whole mouth feels healthier. And I discovered that if I skip flossing one day, it feels as icky as if I'd skipped brushing. Finally, dental floss is super cheap. The ROI is excellent.
CultOfBambi 3 years ago
Same! Daily flossing has made such a difference. no more bleeding gums, bad breath or random toothache. I only wish I'd done if from when I was a child.
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Neill Powell 3 years ago
It does, but people's teeth are as varied as their opinions. Quite a bit of it is care, but a LOT of it is genetics. If your family have a history of bad teeth, start making plans as early as possible. I got a set of killer teeth, the wife did not, my mother did not, my father did not...A bit of a gamble.
Nizumi 3 years ago
Unfortunately, if you have tight teeth, you can't use them.
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Edward Monks 3 years ago
i brush, use interdentals and floss then mouthwash twice a day. gotta look after them teeth yo
#30
That there IS hope for you to fix your mental health problems. I left things for 10 years not knowing there was decent help to be had. Although to be fair, things have progressed a lot since then
Rich Cronshey 3 years ago
Pain is inevitable, but suffering is optional, and the best way to experience more joy is to become more willing to experience disappointment and loss. Easier said than done for sure.
Richard Campbell 3 years ago
No, it’s a nice bumper sticker but suffering is not optional, it’s an unavoidable facet of existence. Buckle up, buttercup.
Load More Replies... aj 3 years ago
I needed to hear this. I've been in therapy for a few months now and the recent weeks have been bad to the point where I feel like all my progress has been undone. I'm aware I won't learn to deal with the anxiety I've had for over ten years in a few months but I'd actually progressed really well and was hopeful and now I feel like I'm back to square one and like I'll never be okay.
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
Progress in therapy is more of a spiral and not a straight line. It's now impossible for you to return to square one because you have had the experience of what progress feels like. Take heart and keep going!
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Scarlett 3 years ago
Yeah, everyone’s telling me the rain doesn’t last forever but every year, it seems to get worse
Justacrow 3 years ago
I know this feeling, working with my doctor, trying to get help. You are not alone and I hope you can get some sunny days, even in the storms
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Donna Sempek 3 years ago
Educate yourself about the symptoms of mental illness. Schizophrenia is most prevalent in the mid teens. Getting prompt diagnosis and treatment can save a lifetime of struggle and distress.
#31
Dental hygeine should have always been a priority. Only really had a few bad years at end of teens/early 20s where I'd go to sleep without brushing teeth every day or go for regular checkups. The cavities are permanent. The crowns I have still feel weird to me ten years later.
To be straight up I think I am also just unlucky with genetics because I know people who don't care for their teeth almost ever and have no problems. But you really don't want to find out which person you are by not staying on top of things.
Hill Branda 3 years ago
Very true. Not taking care of your teeth will cause you all sorts of grief that will last for years.
Neill Powell 3 years ago
If there TWO things parents MUST indoctrinate their children (all races, creeds and religions) is, looking after their teeth, and taking care of their bodies.
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Jan Gardner 3 years ago
The genetics thing is a myth. I asked my dentist to explain it to my husband who inherited his parents poor dental hygiene. I brush and floss all day. I've had to have 1 crown from a bad filling I got when In college (I have 6 grandchildren) and can't remember the last time I had a cavity due to tooth decay. Brush and floss!
Squirrelly Panda 3 years ago
Not totally a myth. My dad brushed and flosses every morning and night. Many cavities and root canals. My mother never flossed and brushed once a day. No cavities ever. Both visited the same dentist every 6 months. But I shudder to imagine my dad's mouth if he didn't take care of his teeth. Take care of your choppers. Also, one of my mom's sisters treated her teeth similar to my mom, dentures before 40. TAKE CARE OF YOUR TEETH, you don't want to find out the hard way.
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#32
To become more comfortable being uncomfortable
Powerful Katrinka 3 years ago
This is one of the main tasks when recovering from an addiction.
Maisey Myles 3 years ago
Katrinka- in no way was i was making light of addiction recovery. At first, I really thought you were referring to doing back flips. After my 2nd cup of coffee, I realized my comment wasn't very thoughtful so, I came back to apologize. I'm sorry
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#33
If you don’t drink enough water and are constantly dehydrated, you could get kidney stones
Hill Branda 3 years ago
Yes, not drinking enough can cause kidney stones to be difficult to pass, but how many stones form is often due to having a poor diet. Too much meat or salt can cause stones, or you may be genetically predisposed to forming stones.
Bec 3 years ago
They run in my family. A nurse tried to tell me it was from drinking mountain dew !?
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elsieairhead 3 years ago
Definitely drink water regularly. This I agree with! Headache? Water. Think you're hungry? Water. Fatigued? Water. Not a miracle cure but definitely drinking more water will go a long way. Not sure about the kidney stones though?
Chrissyfox 3 years ago
Vegan here. Rarely drink alcohol. You can still get kidney stones no matter how much water you drink. Voice of experience here. And also, the cause can be completely random according to my consultant.
neil mason 3 years ago
Had Kidney stones & gall stones......Kidney stones are a walk in the park compared to Gall stones....2 1/2 weeks in Hospital with gall stones, and now have a 12" scar because of them!!!
#34
I should have had enough basic self-esteem to realise that, if I can attract (somebody I think is) the most wonderful girl in the world, then I can probably manage to attract another one.
(Rather than stay in a relationship that I knew wasn't making me happy, but at the same time, I didn't think I could ever be any happier.)
#35
Live the life in front of you.
UpQuarkDownQuark 3 years ago
The life in front of me is working seven days a week, for years now and with no end in sight, just to tread water. Can I live the life over there? Or maybe that one?
#36
Don't give your 100% on someone if you're not able to give 100% on you.
#37
I don't need many friends. I need self development.
Neill Powell 3 years ago
Often that is also something that needs to be done by yourself. JP, CH, and their books gave me a lot of insight and tactical commentaries in BP to make some critical observations and comments.
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#38
You have to like... actively take care of your body. Health is not a passive measure of avoiding things that are bad for you. It takes time and effort to keep your body working in all the right ways. This doesn't mean just exercising to a point of exhaustion every day, but includes stretching and breathing exercises to make sure you're not staying tense after the workout, and to make sure you're effectively exercising when you do. You have to constantly question proper form and change your ways when you've been doing something improperly. It takes dedication and intelligence. It's not easy and you'll keep telling yourself you live a healthy lifestyle until it's too late.
Bunzilla 3 years ago
But also accept that sometimes, even though you're looking after yourself... your body can still betray you. The thing a lot of people either don't realize or don't want to accept is that a large portion of good health is sheer luck. You can be living the healthiest lifestyle ever and still have your body betray you. Not trying to be alarmist, just saying that if it does happen to you; IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. And to everyone else; please be nicer to the disabled. It could have been you.
What do you think ?
Emma S 3 years ago
Don't use drugs or alcohol to make yourself feel better or to treat mental health issues. It makes the situation a lot worse because the withdrawals the next day make you more anxious, you'll probably end up owing someone an apology for something you said/did, you'll end up spending money you don't have and you'll end up feeling very embarrassed about your behaviour while your original problem is still there. Yes, I found this out the hard way.
Justacrow 3 years ago
Pot is legal in my state and people are weirded out that I won't partake. My family's history of substance abuse and addictive behaviors (addicted to the high, not that pot is chemically addictive) and my own mental health issues make me want to avoid it all out. I am fine with others using it, but I just do not want to get near the issues others in my family are going through
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Joyce Blodgett 3 years ago
I do agree with the "don't do what you love for a living" thought. I love to draw, to make my own greeting cards, and do landscapes, but I do it because I love it, not to make any kind of money from it. I refuse to ever turn it into a business because I don't ever want to hate it. I've seen it happen too many times to not think it's real.
AwesomeLeoWife 3 years ago
This post is unnecessarily negative and doesn’t cover real life situations because everything and everyone is unique.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
I've seen this somewhere else. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. In all seriousness: learn to laugh at your mistakes and know that you're loved
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
Work with what you have. Don't use the words "I should have" or "I remember when" -- do something now. Think about where you will be in the future and what it takes to get there. Do say you missed the boat -- find out when the next one sails into the future. Or make your own boat!
Emma S 3 years ago
Don't use drugs or alcohol to make yourself feel better or to treat mental health issues. It makes the situation a lot worse because the withdrawals the next day make you more anxious, you'll probably end up owing someone an apology for something you said/did, you'll end up spending money you don't have and you'll end up feeling very embarrassed about your behaviour while your original problem is still there. Yes, I found this out the hard way.
Justacrow 3 years ago
Pot is legal in my state and people are weirded out that I won't partake. My family's history of substance abuse and addictive behaviors (addicted to the high, not that pot is chemically addictive) and my own mental health issues make me want to avoid it all out. I am fine with others using it, but I just do not want to get near the issues others in my family are going through
Load More Replies... Joyce Blodgett 3 years ago
I do agree with the "don't do what you love for a living" thought. I love to draw, to make my own greeting cards, and do landscapes, but I do it because I love it, not to make any kind of money from it. I refuse to ever turn it into a business because I don't ever want to hate it. I've seen it happen too many times to not think it's real.
AwesomeLeoWife 3 years ago
This post is unnecessarily negative and doesn’t cover real life situations because everything and everyone is unique.
Metalhead Turtle 🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
I've seen this somewhere else. Don't sweat the petty stuff and don't pet the sweaty stuff. In all seriousness: learn to laugh at your mistakes and know that you're loved
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
Work with what you have. Don't use the words "I should have" or "I remember when" -- do something now. Think about where you will be in the future and what it takes to get there. Do say you missed the boat -- find out when the next one sails into the future. Or make your own boat!
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