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“That’s Torture”: 40 Children’s Punishments That Only Showed How Unfit Their Parents Were
Interview
Parenting is an extremely complicated job. You have to be loving but firm. You must be patient without being a doormat. And you have to provide structure for your children without being authoritarian. It can be difficult to strike the perfect balance, but when in doubt, rely on making sure your kiddos never question how much you love them.
Unfortunately, some parents prioritize disciplining their children over anything else, which can lead to an extremely painful childhood. Redditors have recently been recalling the most brutal punishments their mothers and fathers gave them growing up, so we’ve gathered some of their stories below. From extreme groundings to behaviors that should have had CPS on their doorsteps, we’ll warn you right now that some of these accounts might break your heart.
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#1
I would get grounded a lot. And for a lot of kids I think that's pretty normal. But the catch is is my father is military. So his grounding is you go to your room for a week-long increments and everything is taken out of there that could be thought of as fun for you. No posters no books no toys definitely no electronics but I was a kid in the 80s so there wasn't much chance of that. Being grounded for 3 weeks in the summer was brutal. I do recall my best friend standing down the hill out my window so that he could entertain me silently by jumping around like an idiot just to keep me from feeling like I was going insane. Good friend.
HangryHangryHippo 4 months ago
The bestest of friends! Hope you are still on each other's lives
RELATED:
#2
When I didn't get anything to eat for dinner because there were 10 of us and not anything left after everyone else took food. If I said anything about being hungry because I got no food my mother went nuts. She would scream at me and say I am a liar. Then as punishment she would deprive me of any food and demand I stay in my room or I would get a beating. So I would go days with nothing to eat because the punishment for not getting dinner and saying something was not getting dinner for a couple more days. Having a mother that lies a lot more than me calling me a liar is pretty ridiculous. If I give her eulogy it won't be to talk about how she was a great mother.
#3
I once caught a chest cold when I was about 10 or so, except after a few days, I didn't get better. I got worse. It got to the point where I could barely breathe. My mom insisted I must just be lacking in some vitamins, so she forced me to take these massive calcium and vitamin C pills. I didn't get better. Things got progressively worse until the principal at the school actually called her and said "take your daughter to the d**n doctor" and the threat of looking bad in front of someone of authority absolutely scared her so she did. Turns out I had developed asthma and my blood oxygen levels were like 86%.
They gave me a rescue inhaler but she wouldn't let me take it until we got home OH BUT FIRST though we had to order a pizza and wait for it to be ready. I still remember fading in and out of consciousness on the way home. Then she finally read the paper and I got to take that inhaler... and it was like the clouds opened up and I COULD BREATHE. It took about 6 months of serious treatment to get my lungs back to something resembling normal.
She still insists "it wasn't that bad".
To find out more about this thread, we reached out to the Reddit user who invited others to share their stories, ComprehensiveFun2054. They were kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda and share what inspired them to start this conversation.
"I asked the question because one time with my friends, we opened up about our past experiences as kids," the author said. "It just turned into this debate about whether or not we deserved some of [the punishments we got]. But I noticed there were a range of punishments that I didn't think would come from any sane parent, and those were just my friends' [stories]. So I thought, 'What about the weird, traumatized Reddit community?' and they didn't disappoint."
#4
Being reminded every single day that I was adopted and I should be happy that they chose me.
RKnotofficial:
Being adopted does not make you any less worthy.
Janet Sparrow 4 months ago
I’m adopted and all three of my kids are. I found my birth family and FIVE sisters! Then my daughter’s bio-brother contacted her and they have four siblings in another country. We are literally an amazing patchwork family! . What’s the point of shaking someone? It’s cruel too. I’m sorry for this person.
#5
Both my parents were teachers. I spent the entire four years of high school grounded for getting C's on my report card. No homecomings, no prom, no summers playing with friends. They were flabbergasted when I didn't go to college, even when they told me they would disown me on graduation day if I didn't go.
I am now a fifty-year-old man with an anxiety disorder so severe that I literally just s**t myself because I was too afraid to leave my room to go to the bathroom. Thanks, mom and dad for instilling the importance of education in me!
#6
There are so many to choose from...
-Being made to sleep in the garage.
-Being banned from being a part of the family;
Meals in solitude after everyone was asleep, not allowed to be speak to or make eye contact with anyone, not allowed to come out of my room except school and toilet.
-Hair cutt off to chin length because I had anxiety and would chew my hair.
-Punched me in my 7 year old face " accidentally breaking my nose," because I was mucking around late at night when my cousin slept over.
-Grounded for 2+ weeks because parent threw a knife and it went into their new expensive couch, because they were frustrated by their unsuccessful attempts to catch and stab me.
Hit me in the back with a whole frozen chicken because I was delayed 10 minutes getting home.
-Banned from showering /bathing completely.
-Being left alone in a room for so long as punishment, my parent forgot me and went home.
-Being excluded from a 2 month international family holiday for talking back.
Guess who was the only half sibling in a family with both a resentful parent and an a*****e Step-parent?
Though I was always well dressed and made to look presentable to keep up with our wholesome middle-class life.
Years later, my mother apologised, explaining she had tried to break me with more and more extreme punishment because I didn't complain or cry when punished, I just accepted it, which she found unsatisfying.
Thankfully, the OP said that they never received any particularly brutal punishments as a child. "I wasn't punished a lot as a kid, mostly time outs in my room or not going out with them," they shared.
But we were curious if they had any ideas about what the most effective way to discipline a child without traumatizing them would be. "It's different from child to child, I can't say or judge since I don't have a kid yet," the author noted. "But you need to remember that it's just a kid at the end of the day. And most of the things you could punish them for, they learn from you, at least until school. So just try to handle it whatever way you think is right, but I just hope you are a normal, sane person."
#8
My parents took me out of school (7th grade) for vacation. I went to all my teachers and asked for work to take with me.
When we came back after 2 weeks, I turned in my completed work.
HOWEVER, mid quarter progress reports went out just before we returned, and my grades were bad because I was missing 2 weeks of homework (which I had since turned in.)
I was grounded until my next report card (which had all As except for science.)
My dad was a jerk.
#9
I don't remember what I did, but my dad whooped me with a hardback Bible. It wasn't the regular book size either. It was a kids' Bible, which was more of a picture book. It was wide and flat. Whipped me with it, then threw it across the room while screaming at me. He was a psycho when I was a kid. Now he's nearing 70 and likes to reminisce about how good a childhood my sister and I had. I always correct him on it.
Finally, we asked ComprehensiveFun2054 what they thought of the replies to their post. "A lot surprised me for bad reasons, unfortunately," they told Bored Panda. "And I just hope that everyone who got treated like that raised their kids differently."
#10
Silent treatment , being ignored by everyone in the family for a period of time, because “ you were lying and didn’t admit to doing so or so , so until you decide to speak the truth no one wants to hear you “ and after days , it turned out it was my cousin who did the “ thing “ , well i never got an apology, but ended up developing avoidant attachment issues that I have no idea how to cure .
#11
My mom made us get super involved with sports to the point we didn’t do anything on weeknights but practices for those sports and weekends involved practice or traveling for competitions. If we asked to do something on a weekend we had a time slot for so many hours and it was only 1 day. So if we chose to hang with a friend on Friday night till 9:00pm that was it for the whole weekend. No wonder we all went off the deep end when we turned 18, quit every sport and I hit the bars to party. I’m fine now but man, I missed out on some fun teen years.
#12
My dad gave me “taps”. He’s 6’5 and used a fraction of his strength to hit me and it hurt like hell. I will never ever raise a hand to my kids because he swears to this day it wasn’t a full smack but we simply don’t know our own strength as adults on a kids pain tolerance. I knew my boyfriend was going to be my husband when we talked about discipline and he had a similar experience, also stating he would never hit his kids because it f*s them up mentally and I agree, man.
Dragons Exist 4 months ago
Did BP really censor "fks"? They're censoring already censored forms of words?
#13
My step dad would make me write out whatever I did “wrong” a thousand times, or fill a notebook.
“I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie. I will not lie.”
Tough break when art was my passion but my dominant wrist is now cooked from it and I deal with carpal tunnel pain daily.
KnightOwl86 4 months ago
This type of thing just makes kids better liars. They won't go to their parents for help or advice when they do something wrong for fear of punishment, so they learn to lie, hide things and cover up mistakes to avoid punishment.
#14
Smashing my Xbox to bits with a baseball bat before slashing the curtains with a knife to prove a point that leaving my shoes by the front door wasn't on. I was 8.
Dragons Exist 4 months ago
Sad that smashing things kids like as a punishment is so common that BP just had a stock photo of a smashed Xbox ready to go
#15
My siblings and I got sent to our rooms without Thanksgiving dinner. The reason? My mom flew off the handle at us because we weren’t cleaning the house to her liking, after we came home from church. That was the moment I realized there was something mentally wrong with my mom.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 4 months ago (edited)
My mother would always find something wrong with my completed chores, no matter how hard I tried, and start screaming. So voluntarily doing my chores in a timely manner actually simply resulted in activating another session of being screamed at! I finally gave up trying to do them until she screamed at me as at least it seemed fairer to be screamed at for not doing them.
#16
When I was very young my father ran a basin of water and shoved my head into it, over and over, while screaming at me. Not incredibly violent, but traumatizing. However I did go on to be a competitive swimmer! Learning to hold my breath early in life!
#17
6th grade, last concert of the year, I have a huge solo. I told my mom that I got a sheet to see the councilor the next day (moving into Jr High stuff). She completely misunderstood what I had said, thought it was for her, and beat me from the top of my head to the bottom of my feet with one of those little plastic belts that were popular at the time. Welts everywhere.
Then I had to get changed into my choir clothes and go and sing.
I begged one of the teachers to let me go to my classroom and grab my “homework” out of my desk, the obliged, and I grabbed a textbook and shoved that paper inside of it.
Came home and showed my mom the note, that it was for me and not her. All she said was that I “needed to be more clear” when I was talking to her.
All of these years later, when we were still talking, she said something along the lines of “you will never forgive me for that will you?” And I told her “nope.”.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 4 months ago
Note that she's waiting for forgiveness without ever apologizing.
#18
The one that freaks people out is that I was withheld food and bathroom breaks for not understanding long division in a timely manner for my aunt.
That or being forced to clean her entire house and land from top floor to basement while on a time crunch because I broke our hamster’s enclosure while cleaning it.
#19
My mom would lock me in a room for hours on end. No food, water, or bathroom, and nothing for me to really do in there at all. If I cried too loudly, or god forbid had an accident because I couldn't hold it any longer, she'd come in and beat me.
Eventually as I got older I learned to brace the door so she couldn't come in. I'd often run into the room if I knew she was gonna skip the whole process and outright beat me for something. I'd sit with my back against the door, and use all my strength to push my feet against the dresser in there, which worked pretty well considering it was a 45yr old against a 10yr old. _eta: though, this started as a toddler and went on until I was 12 and she abandoned me._
Unfortunately the door was slatted, think like a closet door. A few times she would force her hands through the slats, and she would rip my hair out to get me distracted enough to break in. Of course that only taught me to lean far enough forward so she couldn't reach my head, but that led to her grabbing knives and other long sharp objects, and stabbing me where my back was touching the door. She never made me bleed (really didn't have enough leverage considering the angle) but I often had long open scrapes down my back.
#20
Anytime my dad saw me hanging out reading a book he would find a chore for me to do. I started hiding down at the creek with a book and some snacks all day. I still dislike him.
Beak Hookage 4 months ago
Reading books?! The horror! Your kid might - gasp - LEARN SOMETHING. *ominous thunder and lightning*
#21
My psychotic mother broke her hand beating us once. Can't say that was the most painful, but it was definitely the most memorable.
#22
Not from my parents but from my older sister who used to baby sit me. Drinking a cup of vinegar then being locked in the attic……she was not a nice person.
#23
I can't even list which punishment was the worst. Too many of them left me bloody, and with scars on my skin that I can still see decades later as a grandparent.
#24
Worst, as in lasting consequences? I was 15/16 and my dad had remarried this woman who was a horrible stepmother. I can’t really remember what led up to it, but I’m fairly certain it was because I was standing up for myself over something trivial.
At the time, I was playing in a band that was sponsored by the city I live in. As punishment, she refused to let me go to rehearsals on the regular; it got to the point where I was kicked out (despite it not being my fault) and I was told I could never play for them again. I think she knew that her usual punishments wouldn’t work on me and so that woman kept me from going to s***w me over.
I would see her again when I was 19/20, after she and my dad divorced. She tried to be nice and cordial, but I called her a fat toad and gave her the finger. Never saw her again, and I hope she just hopped off to some swamp never to be seen again.
Strack Attack 4 months ago
Censoring "screw"?! BP, you've gone too f*****g far, you absolute c***s.
#25
Getting grounded for the entire summer—no TV, no going out, just chores and boredom. It felt like a lifetime back then.
Angela Corvaia 4 months ago
My parents did that to my older sister. She was mentally challenged and my wonderful parents couldn’t understand. Spent SO much money trying to solve her…nothing on me,her target for abuse…physical and sexual. Oh now she is the beloved and I am estranged. Yeah for Debbie, she always gets what she wants.
#27
Being locked up in the basement and not allowed to come up to use the bathroom or to eat until my ex-stepdad thought I learned my lesson. Forgot to clean up a mess one night before I fell asleep. I was around 10. It’s happened a few times and I absolutely hate being in any type of basement now and I hate being in a room where the door can lock from the outside. I need to make sure I have a way to get out at all times.
#28
I was locked up inside an old outhose on one of my mother's exs property, often for hours. A lot.
It was infested with spiders.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 4 months ago
Your choice of nursing home for her could work out very cheaply indeed.
#29
I went to a party at 15 and there was alcohol. I thought it was best if I left since I was didn’t want to get in trouble. When I got home I told my parents and they accused me of drinking/being drunk and high. I was grounded for 3months and they reported the party so all my friends and their parents got in trouble.
Safe to say I didn’t have any friends after that nor was invited to any future event.
#30
Hard labor. Everything that my dad had to do for the day (for a period of days) I did. Way worse than grounding, spanking, or taking things away.
Wild Cream 4 months ago
Needs a little more context - how old was OP and what exactly was the labour? If they were a 16 year old expected to help with yard work, that’s a lot different than an 8 year old being forced to build a barn.
#31
I was about 12yo and in the hospital. Doctor added a new medication. I soon complained of racing heart rate and chest pain. Staff wheeled me to the ER to get checked but by then it had passed.
As punishment for "lying" I was physically held down while they forcefully medicated me.
Years later I found that this medication has a warning for a common serious side effect of causing rapid heart rate and arrhythmias. In some individuals these heart issues can be permanent. And as an adult I have arrhythmias among other cardiac issues.
#32
My mom's "I'm a martyr and you are a thankless, clueless, incapable child who doesn't appreciate me" lecture I got after the spanking. The spanking took 30 seconds. The lecture took at least five minutes. I could recite it by heart by the time I wa 10.
🇺🇦 🇵🇸 TribbleThinking 4 months ago
Tell her that she's right, that you're a thankless child, and then act accordingly and never contact her again.
#33
I was terrified of making my father mad, don't know why because he never actually raised a hand to me, but he would yell so loud that spit would come out of his mouth and it just terrified me. I think it was actually worse than getting hit.
#34
My mom made me tell my Camp Fire Girls leader that I had to quit. It was because I didn’t set the table for supper. I was heartbroken and embarrassed.
#35
As a kid I'd run away from my mum to try get to the bathroom and lock myself in until she'd calmed down because she grab me really hard by the arm and smack my butt and it really hurt, and sometimes she'd catch me before I made it there and she'd grab me by the hair as I was running and trap it against my arm when she grabbed my arm and pull it and then smack my butt. As an adult she would stop taking or forget to take her meds sometimes and straight up smack at me, like a teen girl cat fight body slapping, except I was 5 ft 0 95lbs and she was 5 ft 6 and obese so her arms had so much power. She claimed she was defending herself from me, but the only thing I ever did was held my arms in front of my face for self defense.
#36
Being grabbed by my mother's partner and shoved into a freezing cold shower, fully clothed. I still don't know what I did.
#37
Was about 11-12, sister one year younger. Family driving home from grandparents. I was promised that we would stop at the store so I could buy a certain chocolate as a little treat. My sister had fallen asleep and rested her head on my shoulder, this was quite unpleasant because I couldnt move myself into a comfortable position. When we were 2 minutes from the store and 1 hour into tour drive home I hade to adjust my shoulder. This made my sister wake up pissed of and smacked me in my face. I pushed her away, not hard, and my parents screamed at me ”THATS IT. WERE GOING DIRECTLY HOME. NO CHOCOLATE!”
I still remember the absolute injustice of being punished for doing nothing. Still boils my blood thinking of it.
#38
Dad locked me out of the house and told me I wasn’t allowed to go to any friends houses and that I just had to live outside. Had to sneak to my friends house via the alley behind our houses and hop his fence. I wasn’t allowed back for a week, and it would’ve been longer had my mom not convinced him.
Colleen Glim 4 months ago
Husband would have also been out the door. You don’t come between me and my girls
#39
I grew up in a small pacific island (Samoa) and I got beaten in front of the entire school by the principal with a stick. The reason was because I went for a swim in the river nearby the day before. It was after school hours but since I was still wearing my uniform, someone snitched so the following day they made an example of me. Good times.
#40
My mom didn’t yell.She’d just get real quiet and go “I’m not angry… just disappointed.”That hit harder than any spanking ever could.
Dragons Exist 4 months ago
I hate how accepted it is to make people feel really guilty on purpose, guilt is the main reason I'm suicídal rn
#41
I once had to stay inside for a whole week of my summer holiday because my brother would not own up to breaking an old chair. These days, kids would think that’s nae bad, but watching my friends going up in the hills on their bikes, heading off to swim in the burn, going off golfing etc was hell. One of my friends even pleaded with my mum!! 😂 meanwhile, my goth brother thought nothing of it as he was into playing guitar and music around that point.
#42
They took the batteries out of my Game Boy. Not the Game Boy itself — so I could still look at it and suffer.
#43
On behalf of all oriental asian kids -
1. pulling your ear lobes
2 having to squat in horse stance for prolonged periods
3. getting canes with a rattan feather duster.
Queen Boudicca 4 months ago (edited)
Germans also like pulling earlobes. My dad used to pick me up by them. It stopped when I got my ears pierced multiple times so that any post would stab his thumbs
#44
Nothing was off the table.
Make sure you were out of arms length if you didn’t want to be physically punished but on a ‘good’ day you best know the best exit route and be quick about it.
There was No saving grace from any of the mental abuse unfortunately.
#45
Slapped on the face-once by each of my parents on the same morning. All because of a misunderstanding due to a school project.
#46
I love my mom and my father is dead but I remember one time being on report at school meaning every lesson and even break times I get a grade at the end of it. I had to go to teacher on duty and ask for grade. Maybe like 6 times a day. Anyway I was told by mom that if I got any c's (grading could be a, b or c) I would lose my television for the night.
I got a c one time and told my mom and said "I guess I lose my tv" and because I did not seem bothered enough she punished me worse by making me go to bed at 7pm too.
Fellfromthemoon 4 months ago
How did this completely sane and proportional punishment get on the list?!?
#47
I got grounded for a month for stealing my Dad's Impala in 7th grade and getting pulled over for looking too young to drive. Granted I look like a baby but I didn't think that was a legitimate reason to get pulled over. My Dad would not let me fight my case though. The cop didn't write me up but my Dad was livid. He loved that car. I also had to buy new tires for the car.
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Mari 4 months ago
Fysical punishment is bad but mental abuse is much harder. Fysical punishment is in most cases pain for a few days or weeks. But mental abuse: that is a life sentence.
Tams21 4 months ago
The consequences of being physically abused don't end when the pain stops and the bruises fade, they very often also cause lasting mental health issues.
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Mari 4 months ago
Fysical punishment is bad but mental abuse is much harder. Fysical punishment is in most cases pain for a few days or weeks. But mental abuse: that is a life sentence.
Tams21 4 months ago
The consequences of being physically abused don't end when the pain stops and the bruises fade, they very often also cause lasting mental health issues.
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