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Kids say the darnedest things. Especially when they are still very young and don't have a rich vocabulary but need to get their point across. They aren't afraid to experiment with language and come up with fresh, original sayings and that's awesome.
At first, you may laugh when you hear them call dessert a "bonus round" and sheets "bed skins", but when you stop to really think about it, their versions actually make a lot of sense, too.
So since there is no limit to children's imagination and their parents continue to upload their linguistic gems on the Internet, Bored Panda decided to make a follow-up to our older list '28 Times Kids Hilariously Renamed Things And Made Them Sound Way Better'. Enjoy!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Hans 5 years ago
I remember a toddler referring to me with my slowly balding head as "the man wirh small hair". That was a full-blown hit!
cassiushumanmother 5 years ago
I roasted my dad as a toddler too. I was sitting behind him in the car and i said "you are a little bit old". He told me once that my grandad was missing hair on the top of his head because he was old so...
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Stephanie Johnson 5 years ago
Have a cousin that called ice cubes "ice pubes" which left us with years of laughter and inside jokes!
Laura Gastelum 5 years ago
I love gray hair. My has been every color naturally, except gray.
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Lynne Harbison 4 years ago
My 3 year old said to a balding friend...you are growing through the top of your hair!
Parents should definitely encourage their kids' attempts at communicating their ideas without knowing the exact words to express them. According to some, the best way to do so is to spend time talking about things that interest the child. It’s all about following the child's lead as they show what they're interested in by waving, pointing, babbling or using words.
When the child starts using words, parents can repeat and build on what they say. For example, if the child says, 'Apple,' moms and dads can say, 'You want a red apple?' When they tune in and respond to their child, it encourages the little ones to communicate.
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#2
Ani Archeron 5 years ago
i dislike that the plural of moose is moose but the plural of goose is geese. moose, meese. fixed it.
Rissie 5 years ago
They are. But the kid got that they are very closely related and the parents did not. Which I don't get, how can you not see that moose are just huge dik-diks :)
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A great way parents can increase the number of words their child hears -- and learns -- is by simply talking about their daily life. Like, what they're seeing or doing together. The key is to use lots of different words in lots of different contexts. For example, one conversation can revolve around a lush orange tree and the next could be about cutting up an orange for lunch. This helps kids to learn the meaning and function of words.
#3
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
That makes sense if she's heard of a "kindergarten". Maybe to her tiny mind, a collection of folks is a garden, sorted by life stage.
Stephanie Johnson 5 years ago
I think this sounds way better than cemetery. Love the cleverness!
Tom Rupley 5 years ago
When the apostle Paul talked about dying, he never spoke of burying the body, but rather the body is sown. Sown in corruption, raised in incorruption.
Hans 5 years ago
This is very clever of her, and not nice of you to question it. Children do not put a taboo on death but have a much more natural perception of it than we as adults.
William McGivney 5 years ago
Maybe it's the tombstones, they could be naming the rows. Like radishes, and corn for seeds planted but not yet showing.
And from the time the child starts telling stories, parents should encourage them to talk about things in the past and in the future. For instance, at the end of the day, you could talk about plans for the next day by making a shopping list together or deciding what to take on a visit to grandma. Or when you come home from an outing together, you could talk about how it went.
The best part of this journey to raising a mindful human being is hearing those tidbits of wisdom -- like in these tweets -- that they undoubtedly drop along the way.
#4
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
I think this means he needs you to put on a sequined jacket, hold a fake mic, and emcee his dinner.
Hilary Mol 5 years ago
Depends on the dessert. If Grandma has brought out Jell-O with weird stuff in it, it's safe to say you got the Whammy and lost your turn.
#5
okpkpkp 5 years ago
I have two hummer feeders so I get to see them every day! They are amazing.
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Loretta Davila 5 years ago
That’s the best description of my hummingbirds I’ve ever heard!! 😂😂😂😂
#6
Melissa Sawicki 5 years ago
Perfect name for a Vulture. Kids come out with the best names for thing's.
Debra Robinson 5 years ago
yeah-i wonder when she will drop her first album
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Catlady6000 5 years ago
Take a look at the post that was on here yesterday. From the guy that hates birds. There is an actual rainbow vulture, he looks like he's been eating Unicorn carrion :(
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kkathleen517 5 years ago
How is a vulture a flamingo witch? How would you even figure that out anyways? Am I missing something? Not trying to be an a*s, I know they are kids but the other ones, tiny moose and people garden, you can tell what they are talking about.
#7
Ilya Ditkovskiy 5 years ago
Let's just hope he doesn't bring too many hoe hoe hoe's into the house
Aria Whitaker 5 years ago (edited)
LOL....Take this upvote and leave, missy!!
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Holly Allen 5 years ago
My daughter used to call hangers "hookers." She had lots of "hookers" in her closet for a while
Mark Johanen 5 years ago
If he's still calling them that when he's an adult, he could get himself in trouble.
#8
Melissa Sawicki 5 years ago
That is simply hysterical. I can just see a child yelling at the phone to call Grams. Amazingly Funny
Ronald Morrison 4 years ago
I'm so old that I lived in a little town with an operator. Little kids could pick up the phone and ask Sarah to call grandma and she would connect them.
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Kathy Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
TBH, I’d love it if we could all rename our Siri/Alexa/Cortana assistants.They’re not the kind of names I think of when you say “personal assistant”. I chose the male voice for my Siri, so why can’t I call him Mickey or some other name of my own choosing?
danielw 5 years ago
so... if you don't mind getting into it a bit, there's always Mycroft, it's open source, so you can set whatever activation word you want. It's not nearly as polished as other PA's, but you can set it up to be...uh... private. (https://mycroft.ai)
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BusLady 5 years ago
Ha ha. If she picked up my phone, she would be yelling "Googally! Call grandma."
Billie Templeton 5 years ago
Great Google-ee Moogle-ee! That's what I'd say!
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Anne Nielsen 5 years ago
My grandkids have no tv. They do have google. The 1 1/2 year old now tells my television"Google, play Baby Shark!"
#9
Analyn Lahr 5 years ago
Not anymore though. 😞 Sing it with me! "I don't wanna grow up, I'm a Toys R Us kid.."
#10
Kathy Baylis 5 years ago
Well, considering it’s a post-last call destination, she’s not far off—-though, if your area has a Krispy Kreme or Winchell’s shop, that’s where everyone goes after 2am.
Debbie Mulliner 5 years ago
We actually have a shop in Melbourne Australia called drunken donuts and yes they do have alcohol in them
icandyapple 5 years ago
My sister, at 4 years old, couldn't say Kentucky so it was, "Kef*cky Fried Chicken."
Jeanne Gardner 4 years ago
We used to call them that because that's where all the drunks hung out after drinking all night.
Tuesdays Child 5 years ago (edited)
Ha! My husband worked at a Dunkin' Donuts where he and his co-worker drank beer while making the donuts. We've called them Drunken Donuts ever since.
#11
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago (edited)
Wonder what he'd call Mannekin Pis... Statue of Pre-Puberty?
Juririn 5 years ago
In today's U.S.'s context, as a symbol for the country, it might as well be... I look forward to adulthood...
NamiKoa 5 years ago
Haha, I was thinking exactly that only less eloquently put.
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Nico C 5 years ago
One of my younger siblings, at age 5, used to like when I'd put mousse in his hair and make it into a mohawk for fun after bathtime. One evening had done his hair in a mohawk this way and was looking in the mirror while wearing a towel toga style and suddenly threw up one arm and proclaimed to our mother: "Look ma! I'm the Statue of Poverty!" True story.
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Do not take that child to a Minstrel Show or try to explain an Election.
#12
Lola Wootwoot 5 years ago
🎶Tonight the souper scooper beams are gonna blind me, but I won't feel blue~🎶
Kendra Miller 5 years ago
ladle (n.) "large, long-handled spoon for drawing liquids," late Old English hlædel "ladle" (glossing Latin antlia), from hladan "to load; to draw up water" (see lade) + instrumental suffix -el (1) expressing "appliance, tool" (compare handle (n.)).
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#13
JessG 5 years ago
I had a friend once that lost one of her rain boots, and we forever called it her lost "galosh"
SoozeeQ 5 years ago
In Australia, we call them gum boots, in the UK they call them wellington boots or "wellies", but the US version of rain boots sounds so much nicer.
Load More Replies... Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
Hey, if a pair of scissors would just be a scissor if the hinge breaks the parts in two, why not?
k1ddkanuck 5 years ago
I have literally always just used slip/slips and slipper/slippers interchangeably, without thinking anything of it. I now feel a sense of vindication that I didn't even know I needed.
#14
Eva the Ravenclaw Bookworm📚💖 5 years ago
Or are bagels... bread donuts???
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von Funnyname 5 years ago
Similarly, burgers are referred to as "meat cookies" amongst my co-workers and I -- have no children, we're just tall ones ourselves.
#15
Catherine Eugenio 5 years ago
Why did I read this comment with Chandler Bing’s voice
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#16
SoozeeQ 5 years ago
Is that the motto of the Hush Puppies Shoe Company? ;oP
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SoozeeQ 5 years ago (edited)
That is so cute of your son. It reminds me of my mother (who is long gone, but would now be 82 years old). When she was in her early teens (early 1950s) she went to the pharmacy to buy some dog soap to wash the family dog. There is a brand called Timid Joe Dog Soap (Specially formulated to reduce fleas - invented in 1865 and still around today!) She couldn't quite recall the name and thought it was Shy Timothy Dog Soap! The pharmacist had never heard of that one and recommended Timid Joe instead. Mum realised her mistake and said, "that'll do". That was a family joke for years and I'm still chuckling about it, as I write this. https://tilleysoaps.com.au/timid-joe-boxed.html
#17
#18
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
The way their little minds work is really fascinating, especially since there's a logic to their observations... yes, the kernels do emerge from the individual cob pieces.
Gemma Lees 5 years ago (edited)
She's talking about corn cob holders, the things you put in the ends of a corn cob to hold whilst you eat it. I'm assuming it's because she associates pushing a holder into the end of the corn cob with plugging a charger into the end of the phone.
Load More Replies... Melissa Sawicki 5 years ago
I couldn't agree more with you that kid's should name everything. They come up with the best name's
Liesl Jane 5 years ago
When my eldest was 2 he informed me that 2 men couldnt have babies cos they didnt have feijoas.... There is no way I corrected him. Absolutely perfect!
William McGivney 5 years ago
Me too. Way too much fun when my daughter was toddeling and when her three sons were two.
#19
the Kat who says ni 5 years ago
In Flemish/Dutch gloves are called 'handschoenen'... hand shoes... :)
Jen Gearhart 5 years ago (edited)
When my son was 3 he started calling gloves and mittens "hand gloves" so we wouldn't confuse them with his "foot gloves" (socks)
William Dunn 4 years ago (edited)
I had a German girlfriend who said"Mormon" instead of "moron". A few weeks later she realized!
Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 5 years ago
um, we actually used socks on our kids hands when they were little....
#20
Lindsey Hopkins 5 years ago
My son calls Pizza Rolls "Pizza Pillows" and I don't correct him. LOL
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
Copyright that! Then when a frozen appetizer shows up with that name, uou can settle infringement for an endless supply!
#21
alwaysMispelled 5 years ago
But I love the optimism when you buy something! Like, I really believe I am, IN FACT, going to make something AWESOME! ... instead of not even ever opening the packaging... :-/
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Valerie G. 5 years ago
you must admit though, that craft stores have improved the caliber of the stuff on the fridge
#22
Demongrrrrl 5 years ago
I recently bought some body wash and the label said to put a "pee sized" amount on the washcloth.
Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago
My grandma told me that, whenever her family had peas and carrots with dinner, her dad would say "Be sure to eat every carrot and pea on your plate!" Then he would laugh.
#23
Della S. Christian 5 years ago
While at the park, my 2 1/2 year old son called feathers "bird leaves". And he was always doing things "toyesterday". I couldn't figure that one out until my husband said "Today, Tomorrow, Toyesterday"!
#24
Judy Waddle 5 years ago
When my 33 year old grandson was three , it was "slapbuggy" - not flyswatter. It will always be slapbuggy to me.
#25
Kathy Baylis 5 years ago (edited)
Oddly, back in the day people were actually laid out on the dining room table for the wake—-where the family sat up with the body at least overnight. Whether they realized it or not, they were doing it to confirm the person was dead and they wouldn’t be burying them alive (more common in the old days than you think).
Val Izhakevich 5 years ago
"The dinner will be served in the dining... dying... In the room adjacent to the living room. Whatever".
Mark Johanen 5 years ago
This sounds like the beginning of a horror movie. Someone asks, "Why do you call it the dying room?", and the child replies ...
Laura Gastelum 5 years ago
Does anyone remember "The Sin Eaters"? I think it was an episode of Night Gallery
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NamiKoa 5 years ago
Probably! Those is how eating disorders start - "please don't make me eat in the dying room again!"
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Lydia Coy 5 years ago
My little brother got sex education in yr 1 (1st grade, im english not American)
Load More Replies... Philly Bob Squires 5 years ago
Well, there are 3 sexes... the male sex, the female sex and the insex...
Valerie G. 5 years ago
was he thinking of the female spider eating her mate after the deed is done?
#27
Freya the Wanderer 5 years ago
Q: How do you make a slow horse fast? A: Don't feed it! Haw, haw, haw.
Jen Gearhart 5 years ago
Cute. My 9 year old still says the past tense of breathe is brothe. So instead of saying "I breathed" he says "I brothe" and his 5 year old brother wants to be a piloter.
SaraFromHell 5 years ago
When my daughter was a baby she called kissing "passing out"! Stop passing out mom and dad!😂
#28
Ilya Ditkovskiy 5 years ago
Oh god why would you heat up pizza in a microwave? I use my oven for everything. Yes the microwave is faster, but the oven makes food actually taste good
mph seti 5 years ago
I agree, but when it's 85+ degrees out, and A/C isn't free...The oven isn't the best option for reheating food.
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Patty Dayton 5 years ago
A skillet on the stove top works great -- melty cheese and crispy crust. Yum!
Azzie Dubad 5 years ago
Best way is microwave with a glass of water ( less than half the cup). The steam will melt the cheese, heat the top but the bottom stays crispy
Steve Cruz 5 years ago
The best way to heat pizza is in a DRY SKILLET with a lid. Medium heat until the cheese is melted and the crust will be crispy. Microwaves and bread: YUCK
Stephanie Johnson 5 years ago
These days it's the air fryer that should be banned this! Way better reheating element than a microwave!
#29
#30
Ilya Ditkovskiy 5 years ago
In my homeland the trees are naked pretty much the majority of the year
Shawn Claros 4 years ago
i grew up in Long Island New York where there are nothing but trees and in the winter all the leaves fall off leaving just bare bark, branches and twigs. it's kinda sad and at one point I always called them skeleton trees. To me the flesh would come back later bringing them to life again lol
Karen Lyon 5 years ago
Yes! Back when I was teaching preschool, we went on a trip in the fall to Apple Hill (Sacramento area). The little guy sitting next to me asked me why the trees were naked. Thirty years later, one of my favorite memories.
Kelly O'Leary 5 years ago
My four-year-old granddaughter announced to the family that her mom was not wearing her nipple covers.
#31
Louloubelle 5 years ago
My son when he was about the same age, called his shorts "short sleeve pants" and pants were "long sleeved pants".
#32
Melissa Sawicki 5 years ago
Sounds like you do this quite often then. Not judging, we all speed but I know when I had my Niece or Nephew in my car I drove the speed limit or even slower.
BusLady 5 years ago
I always feel guilty when I haven't even done anything.
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#34
Mme de Poppadom 5 years ago
I've heard of Spoonerisms, but what would this be when the switch is within the word itself?
#35
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#38
Anxious Pansexual Nightmare 5 years ago
"sorry I'm late, I got stuck in (a?) parked car party"
Betsy Knox 5 years ago
When I was reading a lot of British authors, I kept reading about something called a car park. Wracking my brain trying to figure out what that could be, all that came to mind was that it must be a place where cars went to play with their friends. Of course, I soon realized it's a parking lot, but I still have visions of cars chasing each other, swinging on swings, climbing trees, and playing hide and seek every time I encounter that delightful magical creation the "car park".
Valerie G. 5 years ago (edited)
Well, in Toronto they call it the Don Valley Parking Lot, since it is stopped during rush hour so frequently.
#39
Denise Taylor 5 years ago
Every small child I know says that and I think the rest of us should embrace it, too.
Suzanne Harris 5 years ago
I've called it sand hanitizer for years. I flip the starting letters on nouns frequently in speech and my friends get some amazing new names.
#40
Laurie Ostergaard-Overbey 5 years ago
we taught the kids it was a 'cloud maker', they all still call any chimney that....they are in their 40s
#41
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#43
Paul Punzer 5 years ago
https://tenor.com/view/ryan-gosling-laugh-laughing-lol-giggle-gif-4925536
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JessG 5 years ago
I don't think he knows the word porn as we do, his mind just jumbled letters and "made" his own word
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#49
tuzdayschild 5 years ago (edited)
Whyever is now added to my vocab, thank you.
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#52
Louloubelle 5 years ago
My adult children call our printer Rosemary's Baby. It goes off any time it wants, and yes the Wifi is secured.
ƒιѕн 5 years ago
My old laser printer would randomly print out an entire tray of paper, nothing but a few hundred blank pages...secured wifi.
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#55
#59
GirlFriday 5 years ago
Sky booms and sparkles according my niece. We watched sky booms and sparkles on the fourth of July.
#60
Valerie G. 5 years ago
side note: we use anti-fungal cream at the cat shelter - on us and the cats. I once yelled at a lady who put down her cat because he had ringworm, I told her "I fully expect to see your husband's name in the obits should he ever develop athletes foot, same thing you stupid woman".
FurryPotatoCat 5 years ago
@Valerie G. YES! Ringworm is totally treatable and it burns me up to see people killing animals over it. That insult is PRICELESS!
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What do you think ?
SaraFromHell 5 years ago
My daughter called making out, passing out! Stop passing out mom and dad!
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Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
My brother used to call Trifle, Lergic. The trifle had sprinkles on it and he thought they were spots like he used to get from his allergies and because he couldn’t say allergic he called it lergic. My daughter called the black end bit of a banana a bibble, we all call it a bibble now.
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
Oh I forgot my favourite, my daughter used to call sanitary pads, bum bandaids.
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Lynne Walker 5 years ago
One of my sons' friends said they knew what happened when you die...you turn into a stone with your name on it. I was speechless. Impeccable logic.
Jo Choto 5 years ago
Children are so logical. Mine, having discovered armpits, decided there must also be elbow pits, knee pits and neck pits. We still use those terms and she's a grown adult now.
Miss Milinky 5 years ago (edited)
I used to call binoculars "piniocculars' until nine or ten - I figured that they "made your eyes go long like Pinocchio's nose". Made so much sense to me that I refused to acknowledge the truth and had a full blown argument with my teacher.
Nevits Yibble 5 years ago
What's so fascinating about this is their developing brains learning a language. They pull words from their vocabulary and put them together in a way that makes sense to them.
Cecilia Cheung 5 years ago
A few weeks ago, my 5yo niece fell asleep in the car sitting on her left hand. When she woke up, she asked, "hey mom? Why is my hand carbonated?"
kitty_player 03 5 years ago
when I was little I would say ''my legs are spicy'' instead of my legs are asleep
Load More Replies... SaraFromHell 5 years ago
My daughter called making out, passing out! Stop passing out mom and dad!
Load More Replies... Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
My brother used to call Trifle, Lergic. The trifle had sprinkles on it and he thought they were spots like he used to get from his allergies and because he couldn’t say allergic he called it lergic. My daughter called the black end bit of a banana a bibble, we all call it a bibble now.
Foxxy (The Original) 5 years ago
Oh I forgot my favourite, my daughter used to call sanitary pads, bum bandaids.
Load More Replies... Lynne Walker 5 years ago
One of my sons' friends said they knew what happened when you die...you turn into a stone with your name on it. I was speechless. Impeccable logic.
Jo Choto 5 years ago
Children are so logical. Mine, having discovered armpits, decided there must also be elbow pits, knee pits and neck pits. We still use those terms and she's a grown adult now.
Miss Milinky 5 years ago (edited)
I used to call binoculars "piniocculars' until nine or ten - I figured that they "made your eyes go long like Pinocchio's nose". Made so much sense to me that I refused to acknowledge the truth and had a full blown argument with my teacher.
Nevits Yibble 5 years ago
What's so fascinating about this is their developing brains learning a language. They pull words from their vocabulary and put them together in a way that makes sense to them.
Cecilia Cheung 5 years ago
A few weeks ago, my 5yo niece fell asleep in the car sitting on her left hand. When she woke up, she asked, "hey mom? Why is my hand carbonated?"
kitty_player 03 5 years ago
when I was little I would say ''my legs are spicy'' instead of my legs are asleep
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