30 Parents Share The Hilarious New Names Their Kids Gave To Everyday Things

I remember a toddler referring to me with my slowly balding head as "the man wirh small hair". That was a full-blown hit!

Kid is wise beyond his year's!!!!!

That makes sense if she's heard of a "kindergarten". Maybe to her tiny mind, a collection of folks is a garden, sorted by life stage.

Wait, isn't it?

Cutest birds ever.

Clever kid!

Let's just hope he doesn't bring too many hoe hoe hoe's into the house

That is simply hysterical. I can just see a child yelling at the phone to call Grams. Amazingly Funny

Fair enough. And now be wary of that threat!

What are they spiking that coffee with?

"Statue of puberty" lol :D

That's actually a better name for it.

Makes sense. A pair is a "slip pair."

They are cake bagels though lol

Ah yes, the classical cowboy instruments of the wild west

Close enough

Great dad.

The way their little minds work is really fascinating, especially since there's a logic to their observations... yes, the kernels do emerge from the individual cob pieces.

In Flemish/Dutch gloves are called 'handschoenen'... hand shoes... :)

That's because they are pasta pockets. Good call, son.

Yep, you buy a ton of stuff that ends up in the back of the closet.

Try this: Pee soup is number 1 and Pea soup is number 2!

Boo Boo Trucks brilliant

No no no, I wouldn't call it that, it sounds edible

Doesn't say much for mum's cooking.

Teaching sex-ed a bit early, eh?

Technically true if he wasn't eating at the time.

Oh god why would you heat up pizza in a microwave? I use my oven for everything. Yes the microwave is faster, but the oven makes food actually taste good

My toddler calls them "seeds"! hahaha

In my homeland the trees are naked pretty much the majority of the year

My son when he was about the same age, called his shorts "short sleeve pants" and pants were "long sleeved pants".

Sounds like you do this quite often then. Not judging, we all speed but I know when I had my Niece or Nephew in my car I drove the speed limit or even slower.

She is not wrong...

I've heard of Spoonerisms, but what would this be when the switch is within the word itself?

What does she call pants? Lol

Reminds me of my daughter's complaint about violet hued bird droppings on the car parked under a fruiting mulberry tree. She called it "purple bood pirp." So now and forever all bird poop is called bood pirp.

I'd love to chomp chomp some chocolate chip cookies. Anybody with me?

"sorry I'm late, I got stuck in (a?) parked car party"

Every small child I know says that and I think the rest of us should embrace it, too.

That's what I used to tell my kids about the local coal plant.

Death garden sounds better than grave yard.

Used to make croco-mole?

my niece used to say cockporn instead of popcorn :D

How old is the kid, 13?

-_-

Unhip, man. That croc cat is harshing my mellow, dig?

I'm going with him being 1,000% Genius, pure Genius

I recall that old commercial: Chickens don't have nuggets.

Whyever it is, it's lovely.

He's not far off. In dutch it's bek.

It's all cute until he tries to shmear it.

My adult children call our printer Rosemary's Baby. It goes off any time it wants, and yes the Wifi is secured.

Fat pickles.

GirlFriday

GirlFriday

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Bek-tiks in my family. We have bektiks thanks to my older brother.

Good name for a dog.

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Sky booms and sparkles according my niece. We watched sky booms and sparkles on the fourth of July.

side note: we use anti-fungal cream at the cat shelter - on us and the cats. I once yelled at a lady who put down her cat because he had ringworm, I told her "I fully expect to see your husband's name in the obits should he ever develop athletes foot, same thing you stupid woman".

What the hell are "macaroni penguins"??