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Somewhere in the world (let’s be honest — usually Florida) hilariously bizarre things happen every day. So when some people say that the news is boring, we bet they probably never stumbled upon ridiculous, weird, and straight-up stupid stories that made it both to TV and print.
Thanks to the "Internet’s Craziest Headlines" Twitter account, these people might be proved wrong. From "China may be using sea to hide its submarines" to "Large cat spotted" to "Man sold TV to buy remote", the creators of this account bring the most bizarre collection of titles and captions for you to enjoy.
So get ready to witness a whole new level of absurdity because Bored Panda has selected some of the best posts this account had to offer. Continue scrolling and upvote the ones that made you scratch your head the most! After you’re done with this post, you can find some more headline goodness right here and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
And now another depressing edition of: People Who Are Still Among Us.
MikeWheelerFan 3 years ago
Well, his music is bad…(In my opinion. I don’t mean to offend anybody, I just hate rap).
Ann Coffman 3 years ago
No, you are not wrong. And his clothing line sux too.
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Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
The saddest thing compared to when i realised i had to study 5 minutes ago
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DetongLhamo 3 years ago
It must be apparent to everyone that the world has gone mad when this untalented, narcissistic, misogynistic tw*t is taken seriously in regards to…well, anything and everything.
RELATED:
#2
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Unfortunately, it wasn't fatal and some of the puppies were already killed. F*****g horrible piece of s**t.
F8th 3 years ago
And that is how karma works in Florida. (Like regular karma but f*cking weirder)
Vision Jinx 3 years ago
Please please tell me that there is someone else out there that this comment made then think of Primus!
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Gabrielle B. Marcelo 3 years ago
Here you are my friend THE-PUPPY-...cc0aa2.jpg 
#3
Dhairya Gupta 3 years ago
What is wrong with this .......... I would do it if given the opportunity.
Joanne Lawrence 3 years ago
I don't think there's anything wrong with it (I'm assuming the plane was to be disposed of anyway) but it's just an unusual headline.
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Lunar Rat 3 years ago
It's scary how many of these headlines are from Florida, is there something in the drinking water?
Some say "You can’t judge a book by its cover", but it seems that plenty of people decide whether an article is worth reading or a news segment worth watching just by their titles. According to Brian Clark, the founder of Copyblogger, 8 out of 10 people will read the headline, but only 2 out of 10 will read the rest.
After all, getting your title clicked on is hard work. It has to be specific, rewarding, and intriguing all at the same time. Plus, it has to be useful if your goal is to reach more people. The headline is the first (and sometimes the only!) impression you make on a potential reader.
"Writing a great headline doesn’t guarantee the success of your writing. The benefit conveyed in the headline still needs to be properly satisfied in the body," Clark wrote. "But great body content with a bad or even marginal headline is doomed to go largely unread."
#4
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
“Oh poor barney why did i? Officer arrest me please”
Load More Replies... Katy McMouse 3 years ago
I think this is the first time I've seen a mugshot with actual remorse.
Peppy Piplup 3 years ago
And it's for the death of someone who doesn't even exist!
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Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
He looks completely lost and distraught. I bet he’s a good friend and a wonderful person.
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Annamagelic 3 years ago
This one is just sad. Nothing funny about a distraught, mentally ill person.
Peppy Piplup 3 years ago
My imaginary friend was a horse called Vinegar. I'm assuming at some point I let her free to roam the wilderness.
Monday 3 years ago
I never had an imaginary friend and I felt left out since everyone else would tell stories about theirs....so I made up 10 clones of myself. Even I had trouble keeping track of where they were supposed to be.
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HantiChrist 3 years ago
This happens to a lot of people with Schizophrenia. My best friend's dad had a mental break and called the police on himself because he was convinced he murdered his whole family.Everyone was just at school or work.
Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
Oh god, the poor guy! I hope he got helpful help ... :(
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#5
N S 3 years ago
Genital mutilation as an adequate response to cheating? Are you guys serious???
Eric Forman 3 years ago
Welcome to BP, where the double standard is harshly enforced.
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J. F. 3 years ago (edited)
So what I take from the comments is: If my GF or wife cheats on me it's OK to beat her into the hospital with life long injuries if she cheats. Or is that different because she's a woman? (Cheering for massive violence that isn't necessary is never a good thing)
Upper Enchilada 3 years ago (edited)
It’s not right to laugh at this, but I think women do find this funny in a way that may satisfy their want or need for revenge since justice for assault on women by men has been so slow-coming. Women grow up learning of and facing rape, gang rape, molestations, domestic violence, murder and other forms of violence so much more commonly done to women and girls. We learn how the perpetrators constantly escape justice and are sometimes even idolized (Trump, Dr. Dre, Don McLean, Bill Cosby, Bill Clinton, etc.). We grow up w jokes about beating women (what do you call a woman w two black eyes) and are taught how to use our car keys as a weapon. So, yeah - we might get a little laugh, a slight feeling of satisfaction, when a headline about a woman bursting open a man’s testicles comes up.
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Buren 3 years ago
In? How? Did he willingly put it there, or do I misunderstand the preposition?
Guy Incognito 3 years ago (edited)
Hey honey you know what would be really kinky. Placing your testicles in this open book. Husband this better not be like that time you had me put my wiener In the cigarette lighter.
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Sasha Bharti 3 years ago
I'm confused did he willingly just sit there as she came towards him with said photo album?
Lina Survila, the editor in chief of Abstract Stylist online magazine, has years of experience working in the press. She told Bored Panda in a previous interview that "editors are often pressured to bring better results with each article, so headline wars have become the real deal today."
#6
shae 3 years ago
You know what, that might actually be the tipping point for changing their support for some people
Hanna Grim 3 years ago
Vetting could be useful here as this has been proven false. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/did-pornhub-block-russian-users/
Jay Cox 3 years ago
It's so ignorant. The citizens in the Russia are not supporting the war. We girl a countries people, not the country. How would y'all feel pornhub was an Australian company and they didn't like what our government does. This kind of censorship is a joke. We can't take their voice away
Lucky2BAlive 3 years ago
When they seized your super yacht, you said nothing. When they froze your assets, you said nothing, but when they took your porn ….
#7
Ozymandias73 3 years ago
LOL all for the love of the grands! Kid was quick on his feet with that excuse!
She argued that there's a fine line between an informative headline and a fake one. “First, we all need to know that headlines play a big role in Google's ranking magic. Every editor has a wish for their article to reach the top position, meaning more clicks if a user is often searching for it," Lina explained.
"So because an editor wants to reach more people, they end up using trendy keywords which result in misleading headlines," Lina said and added that it happens more often than you’d think.
#8
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
I live with three males of the species. I hear this at least once a day. Maybe I should have the bomb squad on speed dial.
Tracy Wallick 3 years ago
I saw a similar news broadcast, the anchor could NOT stop laughing, it was fantastic
#9
thEBOrdeSTpaNDA 3 years ago
'Blind Bisexual...' Nothing weird here. 'Goose named Thomas...' Ok, that's weird and awesome at the same time. Also, who calls a goose Thomas? 'who spent 6 years in a love triangle...' Yo what? 'with two swans...' YO WHAT?! 'and helped raise 68 babies...' Awwww! 'dies at the ripe old age of 40.' Yo I wonder what a goose's average life span is? googled it, it's ~20 years so wow)
Amber Miller 3 years ago
Good for that goose. Waddled to the beat of his own drum! But seriously RIP Thomas
HantiChrist 3 years ago
Fun fact. MANY birds in the wild exhibit bisexuality. Some even take it a step further and have committed life long homosexual relationships and steal babies to raise.
#10
Therese Ernholdt 3 years ago
I can’t really fault him when judging solely on ambition. Not that kidnapping is the way to go but I have some understanding if he truly believed he could keep little fluff for life. Longer life for my dog is my half joke half serious wish for every birthday and Christmas.
Peppy Piplup 3 years ago
Kinda wholesome, in a crazy way. The guy obviously cares about his dog.
The founder of Abstract Stylist also mentioned that "clickbait headlines often mislead people, and those who do not bother to open the article might mislead other people too by spreading the wrong message. For example, recently, I read that K. Reaves is married to Winona Ryder, well, it was stated in the headline, and actually, they were married in the movie."
#11
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Seriously though, who answers unrecognised numbers these days? It is like answering the door when you are not expecting someone. It does not happen.
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
The dude was lost for over 24 hours. I would think even a freaking spam call might result in help arriving.
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Julia Atkinson 3 years ago
He later refused help from search and rescue personnel because he'd "never met them before"
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Or, alternatively, he wasn't lost at all, but people thought he was. If he was really lost and needed help, he would've called someone, as he clearly had signal.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago (edited)
Exhaustion, dehydration and malnourishment can make you think you're ok when you're not. Being hypothermic can make you think you're burning up and make you take off your clothes. Things that happen when you're lost and struggling aren't necessarily that black and white.
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l m 3 years ago
See if I am trying to contact someone and it in their interests to answer and they don't.. I don't bother leaving a message I just move on to the next person who will answer
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Marlowe Fitzpatrik 3 years ago
Maybe he wasn't lost and just wanted peace and quiet for 24 hrs? It didn't say that he considered himself to be missing, after all
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BorPand8 3 years ago
I looked it up, it's a meme about a character on the TV show Cobra Kai. (The actor's 15 btw.)
Load More Replies... Rose Golden 3 years ago
I know this gross and wrong in so many ways but.....I'm dying of laughter
Supa79 (He/him) 3 years ago
It’s fake, which allows you to die of laughter and not worry about it being gross
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#13
Rabbit Carrot 3 years ago (edited)
Dude that drunk needs medical attention (even if only to sleep it off under supervision so he doesn’t choke on his own vomit), not a mug shot (that can be done later). 🤷♀️
Tammilee Truitt 3 years ago
You are treated like a sub human in jail, until you stand in front of a judge you have no rights whatsoever.
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Sarah Rose 3 years ago
That's disgusting, he probably needs medical care if he is that intoxicated. They could get him medical care and then process him
Tammilee Truitt 3 years ago
Does not work that way. Until you stand before the judge.
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Lindsey Judd-Bruder 3 years ago
No. They mean he was allegedly that drunk.
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However, it turns out that readers also contribute to spreading misleading information — some people share links on their social media feeds without ever reading what’s inside. In 2016, satirical news site The Science Post published an article with a troubling headline: "Study: 70% of Facebook users only read the headline of science stories before commenting". However, the body of the article contained nothing more than "lorem ipsum” placeholder text. But nearly 46K people shared the post.
#14
Nathaniel 3 years ago
But that's the second place I'd look! First is down the side of the sofa, between the cushions.
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
Yes, it is so inspiring when people use their minds to think right. I wish i could arrive at such complicated conclusions
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#15
ᴠᴀ̈ɪɴᴏ🇺🇦 3 years ago
Imagine someone going on a date with this woman, she'll be like "AYE MI MATEY, TURN THE STARBOARD ID LIKE A DRINKY OF RUM ARRGHH"
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Julia Atkinson 3 years ago
I'm guessing that crystal meth may have played a part in this rash decision
DragonsCrushesCatsMe 3 years ago
OMG I saw this when I looked up pirates of the Caribbean memes!!!!!
#16
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
It's not funny when you add headlines from satirical websites. Obviously those will be crazy headlines, because they're NOT REAL.
My O My 3 years ago
True that. But the sad thing is that it could be true
Load More Replies... Rabbit Carrot 3 years ago
Cops should arrest that guys parents. Poor man has probably had a life time of this stuff.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 3 years ago
This isn't real, it's from a satire website.
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According to a study by computer scientists at Columbia University and the French National Institute, 59 percent of links shared on social media have never actually been opened and read.
"People are more willing to share an article than read it," study co-author Arnaud Legout said. "This is typical of modern information consumption. People form an opinion based on a summary, or a summary of summaries, without making the effort to go deeper," he said.
#17
Mad Dragon 3 years ago (edited)
She was not even a professional photographer. She agreed to photograph the wedding and reception for $250. She had already put in 6 hours and was ready to put in 3 more when she just stopped to get something to eat and drink. The groom was a jerk to her and demanded that she keep shooting or leave without getting paid. She chose to leave and deleted everything she shot that day.
Zaza 3 years ago (edited)
This was a reddit AITA post last year (I odn't recall the story details, but the general consensus was that the photographer was, in fact, not the a*****e, after learning they worked them like a horse for no pay and no food. I think she even kept some options for the couple to get the pics, but something else happend and they kept being jerks)
Raena Celis 3 years ago
I'd be pissed too! Seriously, why is it so difficult to show some compassion and feed your photographer, or bartender, valet ushers, etc?
#18
Dyson Fey 3 years ago
Ngl. I love Nicki and her music. Seeing this would be hella funny though
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TyrantrumGogoat 3 years ago
The blurred picture of her running makes this 1000x funnier!! Haha!!
Marco Conti 3 years ago
I have no idea why I find this so funny. The picture is priceless. Thank god he wasn't with her cousin and his giant, covid induced testicles. It would have slowed them down too much.
DUN DUN (she/her) 3 years ago
I had heard, seen, experienced chasing dogs and geese. Never this 😂😂
foofoofloofy 3 years ago
I've been chased by a pony before. Luckily he's only 9 hands but still ;)
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#19
Call Me Mars 3 years ago
I have curly hair, 10 minutes is not enough. Another hour at most.
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Julia Atkinson 3 years ago
Also charged with refusing to pay more than 50% of the barber's bill
Raena Celis 3 years ago
I remember reading about this! He had the balls to steal a car and drive himself to a barber for a haircut. And yes, the car's owner found him and dragged his ass out by his hair
Guy Incognito 3 years ago
The production decided that having to live with the mug shot was punishment enough
#20
Rabbit Carrot 3 years ago (edited)
Or maybe it’s the cat attacking, kitty didn’t gets his tuna that day.
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AmericaHomeofTheNotFree 3 years ago
Breaking news: cat on the run for manslaughter, if seen please call. DO NOT approach suspect. He is known to be very dangerous and a bad kitty. Spray with water if necessary for self defense.
TyrantrumGogoat 3 years ago
Haha! Most hilarious call I've ever seen! But, I wonder what happened to the cat after this. I hope the cat and him were ok.
Madeleine Flowers 3 years ago
Okay, so I think that I saw this on a show, and the cat had a condition which made it act up a lot at random times, and they ended up having to give the cat to someone else. The cat went to a good family and the family that originally had the cat was able to stay safe. It was on a My Cat From Hell episode.
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PeachPossum 3 years ago
Doesn't need to be big. Just small, fast with claws and teeth. My 10-pound tomcat sent my 200-pound friend to the emergency room. ER personnel could not believe all the injuries were caused by one cat.
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Leslie Crittenden 3 years ago
Perhaps you mean "rogue" cat? Rouge is either a type of old fashioned makeup or the French word for red.
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#21
redties_and_blackparades 3 years ago
He’s holding his breath from how bad his office smelled
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JLBigboote 3 years ago
Adding any kind of adulterant or substance that isn't considered food to someone's meal is considered poisoning, and definitely illegal. It's hilarious, of course, but also illegal, for good reason. Laxatives to the wrong person can send them to the hospital, depending on what medications they're taking, and for what reason/s.
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Upstaged75 3 years ago
I did this in the 8th grade on my last day of middle school. My friend and I baked chocolate ExLax in to brownies and gave them to our bus driver. She was a horrible woman who was always EXTREMELY late or crashing the bus in to something (curbs, mailboxes, etc) or hitting her toddler with a wooden spoon. (He WAS obnoxious but we felt bad for him having to ride the bus with his mom all day. No idea why she thought whacking him with a spoon would help his behavior) She would freak out if you made the smallest amount of noise and almost all of us got kicked off the bus at some point for doing something minor that set her off. In retrospect it was not as nice thing to do, even if she did make 2 entire school years miserable for us. But we were 13-14 years old at the time and it seemed like a brilliant idea. I have no clue what happened as I never saw her again or heard if she ate the brownies.
#22
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I hope I'm there, so I can throw rotten fruit at him.
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Monika Rhodes 3 years ago
Can you imagine dealing with russians and this garbage on top of it? They're lucky they're just taped to the posts.
Amber Miller 3 years ago
Ukrainians are gangstas. Take note America don't call the cops tape em to lamp posts
#23
Dyson Fey 3 years ago
He had no arms and just used his feet to shoot the gun
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Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
Half of America will believe any lie as long as it’s racist, unfortunately
David Joy 3 years ago
I read the article. It was written by a sheriff deputy. The man took the gun from the police officer and shot the officer twice. The article was an editorial about how the media treats such cases if the officer shot the man instead. I think the key line in the article is: "Unarmed" does not mean "not dangerous".
Sofia Gonzalez 3 years ago
Someone else shot the police and the guy in the pic did the hand-gun thing?👉🏾 💨
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Sarah Semsch 3 years ago
He could have started out unarmed then took the officers own gun. But this looks like satire to me
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
This is from the far right nonsense 'news' site from Tucker Carlson (US). It's all racist propaganda, not real.
Jacob Nunez 3 years ago
Bro it literally says “The Daily Caller” on the top
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Bored_NorWeirdian 3 years ago
I'm happy to live in a country where only the police is allowed to carry a gun, and not in a country like US where everyone can buy and have it with them.
#24
#25
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
Me too. I remember all the follow up interviews
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*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
They are smart and learn definitions easy after some teaching!
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Karen Clark 3 years ago
Well, did the cops help the parrot or not? I mean, let's not be discriminatory to other species.....☺
#26
Parmeisan 3 years ago
Also in the running: https://www.producer.com/daily/this-police-chase-didnt-break-any-speed-limits
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#27
Zobi123 3 years ago
I used the same one when my dad used to tell me not to drink my milk while walking. I would pause, take a sip, then keep walking. I honestly thought this was legit and didn't realize he just meant to sit down before drinking. (Another example of why you should tell your kids what to do, instead of telling them what not to do!)
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Bobby 3 years ago
You see more of these from Florida than any other state because almost anything that happens in court there is considered public info, and apparently the access to this info is very easy. The ease of access for court records isn't the same for the other states
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#28
Sinead Kenny 3 years ago
I'd be more worried about the person who was previously wearing that croc!!
#29
Duncan 3 years ago
Me: Yay, i graduated to become a journalist, now to do some real news! Boss: here, do a story on a cat....
foofoofloofy 3 years ago
Although, seriously, no one at Fox has ever wanted to do "real news".
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Blue of the yams 3 years ago
I remember seeing this! The story wasn't actually about this cute kitty-boy, but as they were filming the story, they zoomed in on this cat as a joke. He had great timing!
#30
Andy Frobig 3 years ago
Why do people do that? Stretch out a word by repeating the silent E at the end?
Load More Replies... Marco Conti 3 years ago
All four N. Korean households with internet keep restarting the router.
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
Damn it, that line need to stay open so the Swedish government can communicate with their sister party in n.k.
#31
Martin Kaine 3 years ago
You don't have to work if there are 35 people taking care of you. He must be a whiz with Google Calendar.
Load More Replies... Stephanie A Mutti 3 years ago
I don't get how that is criminal unless there is more. Unethical, yes. But criminal? Does he have a legal duty to tell the truth to girlfriends? Different country laws I suppose.
bob bruce 3 years ago
He apparently told them all he wanted to be serious and marriage was a possibility. A bit unethical everywhere, and apparently illegal in Japan.
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L.a. Williams 3 years ago
They were given freely how is that fraud lying doesn't mean he cheated them out of money.
Lindsey Judd-Bruder 3 years ago (edited)
That's...actually EXACTLY what fraud is. "intentional perversion of truth in order to induce another to part with something of value or to surrender a legal right. b: an act of deceiving or misrepresenting." -Definition of fraud, Miriam -Webster dictionary. Doesn't matter if if was cash money, a family heirloom, or a new sweater. Doesn't matter if the item was given freely. He misrepresented himself, by, as you said, lying to them, aka deceiving them, or perverting the truth, to get them to part with something valuable-gifts. And those women didn't obtain those gifts for free. So there WAS money involved. Not that fraud HAS to involve money. Value isn't always counted in dollars. But anyway, yeah, what he did IS the textbook definition of fraud. Not trying to be rude, BTW. Simply trying to help you learn.
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Bored_NorWeirdian 3 years ago
Wow what an a$$hole. Not because of the gifts but dating 35 diffrent womans at the same time. Not okey dude..
Melvetta Bowles 3 years ago
How he gets 35 women & had times, he's. He should.be writing a book to pay of fines
#32
Adam Belaire 3 years ago
Oompa Loompa Doopa-de-de, you're going to sit and play yahtzee with me.
Ash 3 years ago
Oompa Loompa Doopa-dee-dot, I have 27 new friends, whether they like it or not
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Marco Hub-Dub 3 years ago
A 2015/2016 meme of a made up sorry for a satire site. Like oh-so-many on this list, completely manufactured for laughs. But the good kind of fake news.
RoseTheMad 3 years ago (edited)
Maybe his crime should have been stealing some suncream instead. yikes. He literally looks like the pictures of people we all draw as kids when we use bright pink for (white) skin colour lmao
#33
Bobby 3 years ago
I think the better question is what is he on/ how high is he
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Gray Matter 3 years ago
Fun fact: The reason so many crazy stories seem to come out of Florida is because the state has a very broad public records law. That's how news outlets get access to names and mugshots, and thereby perpetuate the concept of the "Florida Man." Don't get me wrong--as a Floridian, I find it funny. But don't think for a second that crazy s**t like this, or even crazier, isn't happening in other states.
the_anonyMrs_Mir 3 years ago
Hahahaha *Florida man* how many is this now?! Lol there should be a thread called “Florida…not like the rest of us” (that’s an homage to the late great Hillman Morning Show on WAAF!)
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
And the owner of the door k**b was relieved
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#34
Annie 1973 2 years ago
I still get period cramps 17 years after my hysterectomy. Crazy
Load More Replies... Steve Fischer 3 years ago
There are three kinds of people. Those who can count. And those who couldn't.
onivdsrapowijap 3 years ago
Fun fact: 3 in every 2 people have trouble with fractions.
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Paul Davis 3 years ago
Closer investigation shows it dropping off just as steeply after age 19. Mysterious!!
#35
Dyson Fey 3 years ago (edited)
And this is why women are men's greatest downfall😂. Lol jk
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Pearl 3 years ago
how was she raped? She gave him the thing and distracted him until the authorities arrived. (very quick thinking on her part btw)..unless it is actually rape, don't call it rape.
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HantiChrist 3 years ago
We definitely need context. Are we sure he didn't just distract himself raping a girl's mouth at gunpoint? And she's trying to make it OK in her head after after being traumatized? That sounds way more like a likely situation. As a woman We're trained to literally do whatever they want.
Anna roberts 3 years ago
HantiChrist: Maybe you were, I have 3 older brothers who taught me to be whoever I wanted to be and gave me the tools to do it
Load More Replies... bob bruce 3 years ago
Nice, but a good BJ still requires at least one hand.
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#36
Katy McMouse 3 years ago (edited)
Oh no you didn't. I'm so proud of you, whoever you are!
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Guillaume Derode 3 years ago
Myeah. The guy tried to solicit a 15yo boy and had brought lube to the date. Funny headline hiding the fact that the guy's absolute scum
*Displayname*=idk 3 years ago
Yeah, but not that much, right? Right! RIGHT!
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Melvetta Bowles 3 years ago
Has my friend said big people needs love to ( I'm in this category to so I'm not trying to be funny )
#37
#38
Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I've seen this story before - it was an ornament, not a real live squirrel.
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Kiaya Thompson 3 years ago
I googled, it was ceramic. She was pissed cos hubby forgot to buy beer.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
True fact a sharpened squirrel is actually safer to handle than a dull one.
Felipe Souza 3 years ago
"Yeah, you all wasn't expecting for that, huh?", she said in the photo
#39
Monika Rhodes 3 years ago
That's disgusting and really sad that someone had to die because of wrong decision.
juice 3 years ago
the guy had a history of assaulting women (murdered his ex-wife, threatened another woman he knew with a knife). this was so easily preventable...here's a quote from his sentencing hearing: "There's absolutely nothing in Mr. Flick's past history that suggests he is going to choose to abandon his behaviors of assaultive conduct toward women. However, from his appearance and the fact that the date of his birth he will be 72 or 73 when released from the probation revocation...at some point Mr. Flick is going to age out of his capacity to engage in this conduct."
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TyrantrumGogoat 3 years ago
Does anyone know who they're talking about? Looks like he's a serial killer. But seriously how does one become to old to kill? I mean unless he's so old he can't move I understand.
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
https://www.wmtw.com/article/convicted-killer-who-judge-said-would-age-out-of-violence-kills-again-maine-lewiston-albert-flick-kim-dobbie/29699007
Load More Replies... An Co 3 years ago
Honestly, if someone told me I was too old to kill, I'd be really tempted to prove them wrong out of anger.
#40
jon gilbertson 3 years ago
what? she can sing AND play a solo from the butt trumpet simultaneously? talent
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
I know, why would you fire someone who can sing opera with farts?/s
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Upstaged75 3 years ago (edited)
Believe it or not this is a true story. The headline is funny, but the poor woman was left incontinent and unable to work: https://www.gawker.com/opera-singer-cant-stop-farting-after-surgery-loses-jo-1509793293
L.a. Williams 3 years ago
That would be slightly distracting great way to get your ten year old to watch the opera.
#41
User# 6 3 years ago
Frankly, if you manage more than 90 years on this shitty planet, you deserve to live rent free.
Paul Davis 3 years ago
Of course if you make that the rule no property owner will rent to the elderly so they all get to be homeless and die miserably from exposure now.
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Fajar Kurniawan 3 years ago (edited)
When Florida Woman want to steal the spotlight from Florida Man
Valerie Smart 3 years ago
Ok....I can’t with Florida right now. They are taking over this segment.
Persp Gold 3 years ago
no such thing as debtors prison and would like to know how anyone can be arrested for not paying rent
#42
karl briggs 3 years ago
Guessing the lid flap, smell and picture of a dog should have been signposted better.
#43
Kimi Tomminello 3 years ago
He changed his name to this. That's the funniest part.
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Kate Jones 3 years ago
He looks like James Franco. And I would 100% believe James Franco would get arrested and give this as a name.
AzKhaleesi 3 years ago
When I stop laughing, I'm going to track down the judge that actually ok'd this name. What in the actual hell?
#44
Julia Atkinson 3 years ago
You could probably stretch this out into a three-part docudrama
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#45
karl briggs 3 years ago
Lock him in a dark room with the above mentioned bum tickler and wait outside to hear the screams!
#46
Peppy Piplup 3 years ago
This is why I like to remind people that there's a sliding scale between "People who just think that anthropomorphic animals are neat/easy to draw" and THIS in the Furry Fandom. They're not all weirdos, I swear.
J. F. 3 years ago (edited)
95% of us Furries are pretty much just average, every day people - the other 5% are the source of cringe humor
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chuck.dont.surf 3 years ago
Although the headline is real, you need context. Some psycho transphobic Karen got mad about dress codes being gender inclusive, and claimed the school had litter boxes for students who identified as feline. Obviously this is not the case. But since the claim was made, the school had to respond to it and reassure parents they did not have litter boxes in student bathrooms.
Benita Valdez 3 years ago
So what do the Otherkin think about this situation? Otherkin are completely separate than furries and seem to get offended being called furries. No lie. Otherkin is a thing
Toko Danganronpa 3 years ago
I've known a few of those kinds of people (otherkin) and from what they've said they don't usually want this kind of recognition as it comes off as odd and most things they do/interact with come from online resources anyway.
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Raena Celis 3 years ago
Ugh.... Yeah, I did.... Pretty disappointed right now
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SomePeopleCallMeMaurice 3 years ago
This story isn’t true: a parent or school official made this comment with regard to granting bathroom access to LGBTQ+ students, saying, “What’s next, are we going to provide litter boxes for kids who identify as furries?” Let me add that allowing children to go to the bathroom is a basic human right, not a privilege!
#47
I Just Changed My Name 3 years ago
There are so many unanswered questions that I don't even know if I want the answers.
Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
Who in Ohio is walking around with their b******e exposed in public!? They deserve to have it tickled IMO.
Evil Little Thing 3 years ago
This is a joke from ifunny. The real b******e tickling bandit was from Texas. https://www.google.com/amp/s/kdwb.iheart.com/alternate/amp/2019-03-28-the-texas-b******e-tickling-bandit-has-finally-been-caught/
Christina Rosetti 3 years ago
Wait, someone was really going around tickling people's cornholios?
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Pearl 3 years ago (edited)
You could have just googled it. It's not that hard. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/booty-tickler-arrest-fake/
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#48
Andy Frobig 3 years ago
What do you get if you catch covid and get bitten by a tick? Corona with Lyme.
#49
James Edwards 3 years ago
After reading this I spit out my chicken dinner!
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Some Cool Guy 3 years ago
Northern Territory News (Australia). And it came from a strippers vagina.
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#50
CanidaeVulpes 3 years ago (edited)
Yes, their pussy. You can’t bring your own pussy in. Like bringing food to a restaurant
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#51
Luther von Wolfen 3 years ago
Florida man, Florida man, doing all the things that a Florida can.
F8th 3 years ago
Few things are sacred in Florida- dragon z ball blankets happen to top the list.
Vision Jinx 3 years ago
Lol I just love that it is a Dragon Ball Z blanket. Its just so random😆!
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Guy MacGregor 3 years ago
Is There A Law Against Starting Every Word In A Sentence With A Capital Letter?
A_BadlyDrawnBearPic 3 years ago
Florida Man shows up a lot in headlines... (this is a joke please don't come after me)
#52
Tomas Anshelm 3 years ago
Yea, sure... His skills were all in the belt so he's no longer a black belt. Ofc, that how that works.
#55
Guy MacGregor 3 years ago
Ahhh... Theo! For those wondering, the cropped guy on the right was the president (F. Hollande) AffaireThe...412737.jpg 
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
Haha Swedish police are also know for raping people they arrest. One police forced his baton way up his victims butt in a documented rape. But of course the police was not charged due to the MASSIVE corruption in the Swedish legal system and in the Police force. The Swedish justice system will even refuse to press charges against a pedophile, with undeniable evidence of child porn distribution, if she/he is a loyal employee of said corrup justice system.
Guy MacGregor 3 years ago
Sadly not this time - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/2017_French_riots#Th%C3%A9o_affair
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#56
Ian Taggart 3 years ago (edited)
Remember, the force will be with you. Always.
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#57
Synsepalum 3 years ago
His mug shot looks like he was just informed that he does not qualify for the reward money
#58
Steve Stevenson 3 years ago (edited)
You can take the man out of Florida, but you can't take the Florida out of the man.
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meowgie catster 3 years ago
I know this guy!!! My family literally saved his life when he got bit, my mom is a doctor my grandma is a nurse, and my grandpa knew the area by heart, so when he heard the distress call on the radio and knew the first responders wouldn’t be able to get there on time, he full throttled the motors and my mom and grandma helped with the bleeding and we got him back to shore before he lost too much blood, had we not been there he wouldn’t have made it long enough
TyrantrumGogoat 3 years ago
All in the same day?? How do you get punched by a monkey, not once, but twice?!?!?
#59
fire bug 3 years ago
They could have at least thrown him a bone and made him think he saved himself.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
That would be some pretty dangerous misinformation to spread around if it got out
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#60
Martin Kaine 3 years ago
Yes. Its not hygienic to have an emu int he house with 71 people.
Load More Replies... IcyPenguinToes 3 years ago
I have many questions. Yet I'm pretty sure the answers would be disgusting. 🤔
#61
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Well... if you can choose when to use the guillotine function, that can come in very handy!
Jodaz Coño 3 years ago
Girl ask while having sex... -- are you cheating on me (and squeeze her vagina) Boyfriend's like .... -- babe what u doing it hurts , stop , im not cheating but im definitely leaving now. What's next , some hyena teeth on your vagina..
#62
Chinmayee Kalghatgi 3 years ago
If the news is bizzare don’t think it’s from anywhere else, it usually has to be florida for some reason
Upper Enchilada 3 years ago
They have different media laws. I forget exactly, but they have more access or right to print or something. Jon Oliver did a piece on it.
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Henry Hagens 3 years ago
Ya, Because that is totally what needs addressing there(sigh)
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#63
HannEli 3 years ago
Yeah... break-up with someone and immediately have a nap lol
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#64
Noah Berens 3 years ago
Not one but both of them were on board and that’s what really scares me
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
This post was already disturbing before your tidbit of information sent it spiraling, lol 😆
Load More Replies... LakeMonster 3 years ago
Fake news. https://leadstories.com/hoax-alert/2018/06/fake-news-florida-man-convinces-two-female-officers-to-have-a-threesome-instead-of-giving-him-a-tick.html
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago
Lol, I once had a female poilce in Sweden try to force me to have sex with her under threats of "consequenses" to my family if I didn't sleep with her. I have some pride, so me and my family unfortunatey suffer from these consequences to this day!
#65
TyrantrumGogoat 3 years ago
How can someone be so entitled. Maybe she want happy, but how do got get married that quick? She must've been cheating.
Bored_NorWeirdian 3 years ago
Wow... That is one of the worst on this list! He was only good enough to save her mom's life. Discusting woman. Both of them actually.. She owe him for saving her mom.. Unless he was violent, cheater etc she is a a$$hole without a heart.. I feel sorry for the guy who went through painfull operation for his girl to break up when he was not "needed" anymore. Hope karma do some justice!
#66
Amelia Joy 3 years ago
Yeah, in florida its illegal to touch an alligator without a license, or feeding them, and im guessing they didnt have licenses
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liam mckirdy 3 years ago
i mean fair enough to get annoyed but its still murder
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#68
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
In Sweden (and the US) he would be prosecuted for this! But at least in the US he probably wouldn't be found guilty.
Christopher Preston 3 years ago
It was in the UK and people wouldn't stop worshiping him!
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Uber Mensch 3 years ago
I'd like to reserve a window seat on the bus to Hell for laughing at this...
Katy McMouse 3 years ago
Shut. Up. I can't take much more of these headlines. I think I'm about to throw a clot.
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
A friendly reminder that there's always someone out there who will like you just the way you are. It may be a herd of manatees, but there it is
Ozymandias73 3 years ago
Please tell me this isn't real because I shouldn't be laughing at this, but...I am
sirfryingpan 3 years ago
Don’t say it, DONT SAY IT!…They thought she was one of them… GODDAMMIT
#70
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
What? You don't need proof of vaccination? You did here, when we had this rule.
Hales M 3 years ago
We did need proof but people were falsifying the vaccine receipts to get in without having their vaccines. So they had to change them to a different format to make it harder for people to falsify as they had a qr code that needed to be scanned which was unique to each person.
Load More Replies... Klas Klättermus 3 years ago
When they introduced apartheid in Sweden they demanded "vaccine passports"
Amber Miller 3 years ago
Yeah liars were finally happy they didn't have to get vaccinated or show proof my ex is one of those happy liars
#71
Julia Atkinson 3 years ago (edited)
🎶 All the time they want to stab your butt *butt stabbers*, they ain't after your gut, *butt stabbers, butt stabbers* 🎶
Ben Steinberg 3 years ago
Ah! now I can't get that tune out of my head! Butt stabbers!! Ahhhh!!!! /s
Load More Replies... Thorfin Wolfsbane 3 years ago
I told everyone one I got stabbed in the butt, but it was just a toilet paper cut 🎶. Good ole In Living Color!
#72
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
"If your top game is nothing but teeth, you don't deserve to be teaching." LMFAO
Francine Govan 3 years ago
Suuuuure. everyone knows that there's an irrefutable link between being gifted at teaching young people academic skills and giving great head ... 🤦♀️🤷♀️ /s
#73
Mama Panda 3 years ago
And they wonder why there are so many stupid people walking around nowadays
Peppy Piplup 3 years ago
What grade other than zero was she supposed to have given them if she didn't even have their work to grade?!
WilvanderHeijden 3 years ago
She should have given him at least an F as some sort of participation award. As long as the kid just a much as thought about handing in assignments they should have gotten some kind of reward... /S
Load More Replies... Klas Klättermus 3 years ago
In Sweden, our school system make schools compete by giving as high and undeserved grades as possible. I bet she worked for a similar school system
Bobby 3 years ago
I already said it earlier, but Florida's court records are much easier to access than other states. Makes all the WTF cases easier to find in FL. I'm sure every other state, even every other country, has their share of odd cases working through the system that you never hear about
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#75
Paul Davis 3 years ago
Isn't this The Onion or something? What's the point of putting fake headlines in here?
#76
#77
#78
Nathaniel 3 years ago
Is this 'Murica? Seriously though, what is with these overly violent police?
Bored_NorWeirdian 3 years ago (edited)
In my country police can't use violence unless it is in self defence. Police here are kind and listen and treat people with respect no matter if it is a killer or a small illegal thing, and jail here is like being in a 3 star hotel. Also the longest prison time is 21 years. But I think the 2 behind the worst terror shooting here (last one a week a ago, very tragic and shocking) might get more than 21 years.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
But the picture *is* of a guy beat up by cops for having a mountain dew in his coat pocket.
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Nolasaurous 3 years ago
You must also act less like a woman and less Asian. Works wonders
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Bored_NorWeirdian 3 years ago
Wanna be a good teacher? -Don't support those a$$holes who bully!! Ducked up! Punish bully:s, have meering with theyr parents about how theyre kid act to other classmstes! Do SOMETHING to protect the victims ffs what is wrong with people???!
#80
#81
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
In Sweden, our most famous strip clubs are owned by our politicians. It is a club by them for them when they want to get freaky. Of course it is tax payers money that goes to this
#82
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago (edited)
In Sweden, the police would just take some money from the stabber and then arrest the victim instead
Jim Berard 3 years ago
Well, BP, you finally got me to reopen my Discus account.. We saw this guy when we were in Miami last fall. He does art with his feet (it was pretty neat, too) I'm guessing he stabbed someone with his pencil. Last thing, we're from Chicago.. whew. Close one.
Markus Holstein 3 years ago
There once was a Marvel villain called "armless tiger man" who could kill people with his sharpened toenails
#83
The Redhead 3 years ago
I've never had a 3 some nor do I ever plan to, however I'd assume that if it was 2 men there would be a possibility of their balls rubbing against each other.
Candia Lee 3 years ago
The site that debunked the "erection mistaken for pistol" story said this one is also fake.
#84
#85
Will Raresheid 3 years ago
Not really considering the hostage taking component.
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#87
Sarah Semsch 3 years ago
This guy's photo was on a headline for drinking oil at a burger King so maybe satire
#88
#89
Daniel Atkins 3 years ago (edited)
Steal? Don't they just show up randomly in peoples yards in Florida?
#90
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
If they're tossable, they're small enough to not really be dangerous. Hope the gator was okay
Izzy Curer 3 years ago
Well, the things are just kind of lying around everywhere. What else are you supposed to do with them?
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Pilot Chick 3 years ago
I miss reading the weekly world news headlines while waiting in line at the check out.
JammaCoast2Coast 3 years ago
I miss Weekly World News and feel a real disappointment that younger generations will never get to experience the joy of reading through the crazy in line a the grocery store.
Klas Klättermus 3 years ago
We used to have this kind of paper in Sweden too. Where like half of the news were made up stories like this. Today they don't give out this paper anymore, but they are still on the web. aftonbladet.se
Abraham Marshall 3 years ago
I like Thousands of gals want to marry Mr. Fuzzy Wuzzy better than the main headline lol
Izzy Curer 3 years ago (edited)
The photo of the boy holding the grasshopper was originally a 1930's souvenir postcard from Montana. Silly doctored postcards were popular back then, pretty much the same way we share funny, photoshopped memes today. https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/enormous-grasshopper-montana/
Daniel Atkins 3 years ago
My favorite from them Was "Toothless Vampire Forced to Raid Blood Bank".
#92
Lori Rommel 3 years ago
I'd correct your "stiffed" to "stuffed", but I guess the horse did get "stiffed". And apparently I'm 59 going on 13.
Load More Replies... Ozymandias73 3 years ago
NOT what they meant when they put the sign on the horse that said "Ride Me"
Bobby 3 years ago
I'd heard it was actually a stuffed unicorn and a stuffed Olaf, unless there is another case of this in FL recently
#93
#94
henry weston 3 years ago (edited)
how did he fit 7 animals in one apartment?... and what about the other four? maybe it was one of those other florida men?
MorgothBauglir 3 years ago (edited)
Why would Santa Fe police arrest a man in Florida? Isn't Santa Fe in New Mexico?
#95
Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
Nothing. It's fake: https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2017/mar/13/blog-posting/story-missouri-girl-accused-trying-eat-toddler-she/
Load More Replies... Demi Zwaan 3 years ago
It's fake: https://www.politifact.com/factchecks/2017/mar/13/blog-posting/story-missouri-girl-accused-trying-eat-toddler-she/
PixelShroom 3 years ago
Is it bad that I'm laughing. It doesn't feel bad. I'm sorry, i just can't stop laughing.
#96
#97
Andrew Brockman 3 years ago
My favorite metal band is called 'China Ferrari sex orgy death crash'
MorgothBauglir 3 years ago
I sounded like they just took 6 random words and mushed them together.
#99
#100
Mushroomlover 3 years ago
This guy must be busy cause it’s the same guys pic as the one who kidnapped a priest to make his dog immortal, lol!
Gin. No tonic 3 years ago
Same man or stock photo? As above "Florida man kidnaps scientist to make his dog immortal". Or did he attack his girlfriend with a banana and then kidnapped a scientist?
#101
#102
#103
Mama Panda 3 years ago
For those who don't know, this is Nikolas Cruz. He was the sole gunman who killed 17 people and injured 15 others at Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida USA on February 14, 2018. There is a youtube video of him sitting in the interrogation room trying to play off like he was psychologically damaged. Florida still has the death penalty and I believe he was trying to get off on an insanity plea. It obviously didn't work because he ended up pleading guilty to 34+ charges including 1st degree murder and 1st degree attempted murder.
Reading-under-Sequoias🫶🇺🇦 3 years ago (edited)
Thank you for that information. :D That is a very dark criminal case.
Load More Replies... Katie Lutesinger 3 years ago
I watched this video - it's actually really fascinating stuff! All about how to spot the difference between someone who's truly mentally ill and someone who's faking it.
TyrantrumGogoat 3 years ago
Yeah same. How he tries to look like he wants to commit suicide.
Load More Replies... Guy MacGregor 3 years ago
It became a meme "Are they in the room with us right now?" Are-they-i...6e-png.jpg 
Mel in Real Life 3 years ago
I saw this Youtube video! He would turn on the "crazy" when the cops would enter the room and then relax and act normal when they left. I guess he was unaware of the camera's?
Deutschland Mädchen 3 years ago
I literally just watched this recently. It was very interesting
The Redhead 3 years ago
What am I missing here. It looks like the he committed a crime bit clearly been taken to the hospital for a psych evaluation.
Qibli of the SandWings 3 years ago
He was trying to act crazy to get a insanity plea for a more lenient punishment (he was on death row and i think that he still is).
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What do you think ?
Gandalf the Pink 3 years ago
Anyone else find it boring that like half of these are fake? I'd have thought there is enough crazy headlines out there to not having to include fake ones.
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
I mean... Just call it "Funny Fake Headlines." Seriously. Bored Panda thinks we're all idiots.
Pezor Zass 3 years ago
BP articles like this would be a lot better if you weeded out the ones that were actually satire
Artsy Bookworm 3 years ago
What I understand from this post : Florida is one heck of a crazy place
Parmeisan 3 years ago
The real lesson here: Florida has public record laws that make it easier to write articles like this about the dumb things they do.
Load More Replies... MikeWheelerFan 3 years ago
As a Floridian I love reading these Florida Man posts because they are hilarious
Gandalf the Pink 3 years ago
Anyone else find it boring that like half of these are fake? I'd have thought there is enough crazy headlines out there to not having to include fake ones.
Kristin Ingersoll 3 years ago
I mean... Just call it "Funny Fake Headlines." Seriously. Bored Panda thinks we're all idiots.
Pezor Zass 3 years ago
BP articles like this would be a lot better if you weeded out the ones that were actually satire
Artsy Bookworm 3 years ago
What I understand from this post : Florida is one heck of a crazy place
Parmeisan 3 years ago
The real lesson here: Florida has public record laws that make it easier to write articles like this about the dumb things they do.
Load More Replies... MikeWheelerFan 3 years ago
As a Floridian I love reading these Florida Man posts because they are hilarious
You May Like 50 Of The Funniest Signs Ever Spotted In The Wild (New Pics) A Selection Of Probably The Craziest Florida Man Headlines 43 Times Medical Professionals Couldn’t Keep A Straight Face With A Funny Patient
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