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25 Ways Men Give Away They’re Nothing But Incels Without Even Trying
Article created by: Greta Jaruševičiūtė
The term "incel" is short for "involuntary celibate." In its most basic form, it describes someone, usually a man, who is tired of their lack of sexual experiences and blames the subjects of their desires, most often women, for their frustration.
Reddit user BlueFruitJam wanted to know how to spot these people in the wild, so they asked other platform users to share the telltale signs that would suggest a person belongs to this infamous group.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
If they’re from a Western country like the US but complain about women in their country being too independent. And if they talk about wanting to date women from somewhere like Eastern Europe, Asia or South America because they’re supposedly more submissive and treat men better. Bonus points if they’re over 30 and only attracted to very young women and don’t like women their age.
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#2
When he is unable to interact with a woman as a person. There is only sexualization and weird devotion or blatant hate and misogyny.
#3
If some news comes out about a woman being assaulted by a man, and they immediately decide to defend the guy, and look for reasons to not believe the woman.
#5
Listen to how they talk about women, and ask them why they just don't date what they're not afraid of. The blinks and walkbalks following are the tell. "Well women are all golddiggers and only want me for my money!" "They why don't you date someone richer than you? Lots of lawyers around." *blinkblink" "Uh... uhhhh....." Next will come a cascade of their own insecurities. This will make them so uncomfortable they won't want to talk with you again. Job done.
#6
"all my exes are insane"
What's the common thread here? Could it be you? Why are all the women you get close to driven to madness?
#7
Anyone who talks about or refers to an “alpha vs beta male” ideology. might not be an incel, but it’s probable.
anyone who whines about what women like and how they do or do not fit the bill
anyone who decides they know how a woman should or shouldn’t behave in any sense.
#11
When you set any kind of boundary, no matter how small, how they react to that is very telling.
Also, the way they respond to a woman who is knowledgeable about any topic.
#12
They mansplain what women want / how women are + ignore anything a woman says that counters their statement.
They slam and blame women for however they choose to deal with / survive / thrive in a patriarchal world, from preferring a specific type of men, to monetizing their sexuality, exploiting pretty privilege, to wearing baggy clothes etc.
#13
I remember back in college there were boys who liked me just because I was a pretty girl. There were also boys who hated me just because I was a pretty. They assumed all sorts of bad things about me just because of my appearance. Those boys are the incels. Incels hate you because they are attracted to you. They think that attraction gives you some sort of control over them. They assume you will use that power for evil instead of good. Typically when someone projects that sort of thing onto you, it means that is what they would do in your shoes. They would do something bad to you if you were attracted to them.
#15
I listen to their stories. They tend to complain a lot about: - being single and blame society for it - their female friends don’t want to date them - their female friends are whores for prioritizing other male friendships - constant negative assumptions about women’s lifestyle based on how they look - trash talk about other men to make themselves more appealing You can also try setting a firm boundary or saying no to their request and see how they respond. Such as “I don’t feel comfortable talking about this topic. Let’s talk about something else.” If they respect you, they’ll move on without further comments or questions.
#20
When they make sexist jokes about women. and on first meeting, they always cant control themselves and touch ladies without permission. also i would ask one question " If a female friend was SA by this guy friend, would you a) continue to be friends with this guy b) unfriend/ make sure the guy does not go near this female friend" I am not sure this question relates to them being incels but at least it tells us his opinion/stance. I would not want a partner who would choose guy friends over me, especially in these kind of situation. it is rather dissappointing that most guys would reply "no comment".
#21
Just gotta pay attention to what they say and how they act. If they make broad generalizations and or act entitled to someone’s affections. If they say things like “women only want guys with money. I treat them well and they never want to date me” there’s a good chance that they are an incel.
#22
For me it’s whenever they say “women like…” or start going on about height. Women like different things and we don’t all love the same things. Stop talking about what evolution says because we aren’t cavemen anymore. And the height thing, they need to let it go. Times change and saying that women love tall men is just a very large generalization. These two are just huge red flags for me.
#23
"Uhm, AKSHUALLY..."
Every guy I've met who uses that phrase turned out to be an incel. Every. Single. One.
#24
They are bitter and resentful towards other people, because in their mind the world is being unfair to them. They don’t know how to make themselves appealing to a woman, and they are lonesome, and for that everyone piles up abuse on them, so they grow bitter and resentful. It takes little to cure them, if you have good intentions.
#25
They give me a major vibes of unattractiveness, which consists of different things individually for each of them.
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