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“Brought Up In A Cult”: 35 Things People Went Through As Kids And Didn’t Realize Were Unusual
Who doesn’t have a childhood memory that haunts them to this day? A traumatic field trip, a brutal exam, or moving to a new school, there are all sorts of experiences many people went through as children, but for some, life was a lot tougher.
One netizen asked others to share childhood experiences that they only later realized were traumatic, horrible, or life-altering. People listed all the things that happened to them as kids, which they didn’t have the tools or experience to process at the time. Be warned, some of these stories get pretty dark. Be sure to upvote the most interesting and comment your own thoughts and experiences below.
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#1
When I was a toddler, we lived in rural Texas. My mom put me down for a nap in my crib one afternoon, and went to take a nap herself. Apparently she told my older brothers to keep an eye on me, and since they thought I was asleep in my crib they all put a movie on in the living room. I couldn’t sleep, and somehow got the idea in my head that I wanted to go get the mail. I walked past my brothers watching their movie and right out the front door, and then walked about a hundred yards down our gravel driveway to our mailbox on the edge of a county road. Just about everyone had outdoor dogs in the area, and let them roam freely. Some were friendly, and many were not. There was a particularly giant Weimaraner named Buckwheat that belonged to a neighbor who met me about halfway down my driveway to walk with me. Apparently when I got to the county road where our mailbox was, he got on the “street” side of me and stood and blocked me to the curb as several cars/farm trucks whizzed past. A man returning from work saw me out there by myself with a huge dog and pulled over. He said when he got close, the dog got defensive and started pushing me away from the road again as his car approached. The man pulled up and asked me where I lived, and offered to give me a ride home. I didn’t know not to get in the car with strangers but thankfully in this case it was a good guy. He knocked on the door of my house and woke my mom up from her nap. Told her that he had found me barefoot in the road, where I had a dog guardian angel that was actively protecting me from traffic, and it was thanks to that dog that I was still alive. Here’s to you, Buckwheat.
The Dog Lover (She/her) 2 years ago
Aww! Dogs are the most loyal friends. I'm so glad that you were ok.
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago (edited)
When you said that some of the dogs weren’t friendly at first I thought that BuckWheat was going to attack you, happy I was wrong
Awkward lady 2 years ago
Nice to hear a good dog story, I hate to read about animals getting hurt.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Yay Buckwheat! I was afraid it was going to be one of the not nice dogs, glad it was a hero dog instead!
Mermeow Overlord (they/them) 2 years ago
I hope Buckwheat had a happy life 💜
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RELATED:
#2
Our babysitter died while she was watching us when my twin and I were 3. We had no concept of death, and tried to wake her up.
She had spilled water when she fell, and I still remember getting a dish towel to wipe it up, thinking she would be proud of how responsible I was being.
I remember going to get our little toy pots and pans to bang together to make noise to wake her up, we had no idea what a heart attack was.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago (edited)
I had a similar experience except I was 7yo; grandpa and I were mowing the lawn when he grabbed his arm and started shaking, then his face turned purple and he fell over. I ran inside screaming for help, Mom called 911, and they sent me to the road to direct the ambulance to our house (we lived on a farm off the main road). I heard later that day, while I folded laundry, that he has a massive heart attack and died in front of me. Nobody said a word to me about it....that was two years after I witnessed another child get creamed on the highway right before my eyes. Nobody ever disgusted any of the trauma I'd witnessed, ever. My parents suck.
Moezzzz 2 years ago
Holy s**t!! Twice? When I was a kid, we were headed back from out of state and came up on a really bad wreck on a country two lane road. 4 kids in the back of a truck and hauling an empty trailer. Trailer fishtailed right at a small bridge and hit the railing, truck tried to right it, but the kids were thrown out and two hit their heads on the concrete railing. Brains all over the road. Looked like ice; dirty ice. One kid, older girl, broke both legs and kept trying to stand up to get to the other kids and I remember one elderly man patting the shoulder of one of the kids that had brains out telling him it'll be okay. I don't know if he was in shock too or he just didn't know what to do. It was awful and I don't ever remember talking about it again
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PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago (edited)
They just said they were three, and, if the babysitter was over, most likely the mother wasn’t home. Edit: also they literally just said they didn’t know the concept of death
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sofacushionfort 2 years ago
After a series of babysitters perished in a similar manner, suspicions arose.
#3
I was 4 years old and my nighttime routine was always telling my mom and dad how much I loved them. One night, I couldn't find my mom to tell her goodnight. I searched everywhere in the house, backyard, etc. Finally, 4-year-old me goes out the front door, looks around, and sees a person standing in the middle of a crowded street with cars zooming by and swerving around them. I started walking down the sidewalk to get a better look because I thought it was the weirdest thing. Turns out it was my mom, but what was weird was that she wasn't answering to my calls. I started getting really scared because my mom was blind (and had only gone blind in the past several months). I ran back to the house and got dad because I was too afraid to go in the street to get her. Wasn't until many years later that I realized I had witnessed my mom attempting s****ide via getting hit by a car. She was severely depressed due to having gone blind at the age of 34 with two small kids. Makes me sad to think about it sometimes. She's better now, but still unfortunately blind.
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago
I feel like the most terrifying and saddest part of this would be if she had died and you wouldn’t have been able to say good night and I love you to her
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
I've thought of the same method then realize that I don't wanna traumatized someone else by having them accidentally kill me.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
How terrifying that must've been for you, I hope your mum's doing better now.
A B C the Third 2 years ago (edited)
SUICIDE, BP, SUICIDE. Fúck your stupid censorship rules. What a shítshow.
afia kooma 2 years ago
I belive she was feeling very down and depressed, but I also hope that if she really really wanted to die, she would have made sure to say "good night" to OP before leaving the house. Meaning OP saved hed and mom got help and are now grateful and happier as a baseline 💕
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
That's sad :( I'm glad she's doing better now but sorry she suffered going blind.
Psychologists differentiate childhood trauma from other traumatic experiences because of its unique effect on a not-fully developed brain. Kids often can’t exactly understand and process certain experiences, particularly as they do not have a good frame of reference for what things “should” look like. As many of these stories demonstrate, people only fully understood what happened to them much later.
Even if they couldn't quite understand why they felt a certain way, trauma can still leave a lasting impact not just on a kid's psyche, but their physiology as well. They must suffer from issues in their nervous system, a weakened immune system and are at a higher risk of developing depression later in life.
#4
Adopted, stepdad punished me by forcing me to watch them shoot my dog. I was told he was going to do it about 10 hours beforehand and he made me dig a hole out in our pasture. Evening comes and he drags her out there, absolutely oblivious as to what is going to happen. He threatened to shoot me when I refused to go out there with him, so what could I do? I tried looking away but he told me I'd have to watch or I'd get it too. So he held his rifle up to her head and pulled the trigger once, then a second time after she hit the ground. I then spent the next hour pulling her body into the hole I had dug and buried her. She was a great Dane, just over a year old. I was 11. My parents got the dog but then passed the responsibility of her onto me because they were "too busy" to take care of her. I'm 17 now but that s**t still f***s me up. I got outta there a few years ago and was shocked that nobody else could relate to what I went through. Edit: This all occurred about 6 years ago. I appreciate the kind comments I have received. I always thought it was my fault and that I should have done differently. I do not live with them, or near them, anymore. I live with my grandparents who are disgusted by how I was treated.
Mysteria 2 years ago
I’m done with this f*****g world I can’t take this s**t anymore when people like this exist
Tamra 2 years ago
I know exactly how you feel. I can take a lot, but cruelty to animals or children does me in. I can't even bear to read such things. I try to remind myself that there are more good and loving people in the world, than the other kind. Sometimes that helps.
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Bamboozled 2 years ago
This is heartbreaking for anyone to see , of any age, but especially awful for a child to witness 😢
Roger9er 2 years ago
That is incredibly cruel and inhumane. All children deserve good and loving parents, but some parents do not deserve children.
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago
This might be a bit too harsh, but if I was forced to watch someone shoot my dog or any animal I would probably have attempted to kill him, I’m really sensitive when it comes to animals
HelluvaHedgehogAlien 2 years ago
I would definitely end up in jail if someone ever tries to mess with my pets
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Spocks's Mom 2 years ago
Unfortunately I can relate. I think that trauma made me extremely protective over animals. I hope hell is real and op's p.o.s. stepdad is front and center.
#5
What my mum meant when she planned to drive us to heaven. She was talking about wanting to drive us into a lake.
TheElderNom 2 years ago
My mother's coworker did that. Told the kids they were going on an adventure and to leave the safety belts off. He drove into a cliff and died. The kids had snuck their belts on and survived.
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Alexandra Davis 2 years ago
OP didn't add anything more to her Reddit post, I've just checked
Load More Replies... That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
Your mum should try and seek therapy if she wants to do this to her children.
moggelogalus 2 years ago
This actually made me chuckle, i needed that Hawkmoon. People will give you flak, though it's the thought of such an offbeat absurdity in reaction to such a serious situation. Not diminishing / dismissing the trauma of OP, which i have empathy for. But dark humor and food, right? Be well
Load More Replies... #6
Having a 'cluttered house' and needing to spend a few hours carrying everything from the living room into my bedroom to make the living room appropriate for guests. I would sob and beg for it not to go into my room because I knew it would never leave, and the living room would get filled again with TJmaxx bags and garbage we don't need. Turned out a hoarded house isn't normal and it made me a pretty awful roommate to my friends in my teen years.
Jill Rhodry 2 years ago
That's hard but it means your parent/s had undiagnosed mental health issues which is really sad for them and your childhood.
Jessie 1 year ago
Not necessarily. My father is like this and other than serious anger management issues there is nothing else. He has been checked by multiple psychologists and psychiatrists. He just can’t get rid of things because “that was expensive once” or “I might need that someday” so everything builds up and now there is even stuff on the beds so you can barely lay on them.
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Brittany Grawe 2 years ago
I hope your relationships with your friends didn't get ruined over this mental illness.
Everything from anxiety to anger management issues can be traced back to a person’s childhood, but the sad part is that without some proper introspection, one might never really know its origins. While it might seem a sort of silver lining, that kids don’t actually understand everything they see around them, psychologist Bessel van der Kolk, in a book with the same title, argues that “the body keeps the score,” and that we can’t just escape bad experiences.
#7
The teacher not letting me use the toilets in elementary school and peeing my pants under the desk, than getting yelled at by same teacher
I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/he/she) 2 years ago
I hate it when this happens - they have no idea what's going on - maybe I need to pee, poo, change a pad, wash my hands, or just get out of that situation so I don't have a meltdown or get overstimulated. You don't know, and that's the problem.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
It's so confusing to me how children are expected to 'control their bladders' like, you can hold pee in for a while and also it's sad that teachers have to hold it in for ~6 hours sometimes. We are human, we cannot decide when we need to pee
DC 2 years ago (edited)
Been there, done that. Several incidents around that topic, actually. One time I remember very vivid: 1st grade, just a few months in. Asked the teacher if I can go use the bathroom. She says no. Few minutes on and I was sure I wouldn't make it to the next brake and decided to just stand up and outrun her to the door. Which would have worked, but one classmate, XY, grabbed my arm and told me "Mrs. H. said you're not allowed!". I shook myself lose, and he immediately started screamcrying like an actual baby, not just like the crybaby he was, and the teacher got to block the door and hold my arm, too, so I really couldn't go. She concluded that I, due to "not having it your ways acted out your anger on XY by hitting him". Which resulted in not making it anywhere near the toilet, but wet myself in front of the class, after having them spend all their attention towards me. Or course, she wanted to further punish me, but that got cacelled by the principal. Next time: how my teacher made me wet myself in gym class, 1st grade, just a few weeks in. I was, again, not allowed to go and she, again, phyiscally made me unable to leave the gym. Details ... not today. One p**s a post is enough!
Ashley Marino 2 years ago
My son’s 2nd grade teacher asked me if it was normal to drink water all day and go to the bathroom 4-5 times a day but he still has accidents when he’s not paying attention and only has one kidney. I advised she let it go 😂
Rae Ramirez 2 years ago
I had to get a doctors note to go to the bathroom. Thank you. Crappy education system I now have a lot of bladder and kidney problems.
Brittany Grawe 2 years ago
Eff that teacher. Eff every toxic, control freak, narcissistic, hater teacher there is and has ever been. If you don't have it in you to nurture the children you have been given responsibility for, then quit.
#8
My father urinated on my head once. I was outside and he was on the porch 2 stories up. It was dismissed as "he thought it was my mother." Like that would have somehow made it okay.
DC 2 years ago (edited)
... so Mum was into golden showering? Or only Dad? And that ... you do ... across a few stories, outside? I've seen a lot, and a lot of perverseries, too, some even exceeding this. But it still sounds alarming enough...
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
Them both being into it is the vibe I got. Otherwise why would it even pop into his head that that was a legitimate excuse.
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Actively Lazy Cat 2 years ago
Wth?? Oh sorry son, I thought I was peeing on ur mother...? Some serious problems in that mans head..
#9
Both of my parents were too burned out from their own childhood trauma to be functional and loving parents. For the most part they did their best to provide for me and my siblings..... But there is no love in my development. I am incapable of forming meaningful human attachments.
Edit. Thanks for all the interest everybody. It helps to know we're not alone in this. You've given me some great suggestions and stoked my interest in continuing therapy. Let's all be part of the solution and love our children the way we should have been. Good luck my friends!!!!!
Nancy T 2 years ago
I don't have one happy memory from my childhood...only sad and frightening ones. I have so much love in my heart though...and I don't know why. I do have trouble trusting people and don't have any constant friends, unfortunately. I have five amazing grown-up children...so that's good! Therapy for Complex PTSD has helped immensely. I would encourage anyone with a traumatic childhood to find a therapist who can focus on this. Best of luck to everyone!!
Rebelliousslug 2 years ago
I can relate to this, absolutely. I tried to be the opposite of my mother who I now care for full time. It took me until my 30’s to realize she was still recovering from trauma and abuse and did her best. I honestly think she would’ve been happier never having kids.
Jerusalem Cat Syndrome 2 years ago
Remember that one way to love your children, is to continue therapy and learn to feel better about yourself. Just going, tells your children that you are aware and that you care.
While some of the examples might be a bit comical, like the child of a hoarder continuing the same in a college dorm, most are tragic. Not knowing that alcoholism or random violence isn’t actually normal comes with all the negative effects one can think of. Old-fashioned wisdom would argue that it “toughens” kids up, but without being able to understand why something is happening, a child won’t really learn from it. A first grader isn’t “toughened” by sitting in a college algebra class, for example.
#10
My mom would frequently have backyard "camping adventure nights" or "spooky nights" where we would tell scary stories in the dark. I realize now that this was because we were so in debt that not having electricity was a frequent occurrence.
I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/he/she) 2 years ago
Look, kudos to your mum for trying to make the most out of it without getting you too worried. It would have sucked so much, but you know, good on her.
Sarah Mezei 2 years ago
Awe, she still tried to make the event something exciting for you as a kid. When we had bad storms my mom would let us have camp-outs in the living room all together. Turns out it was a tornado warning and she just wanted to be close to the crawl-space.
afia kooma 2 years ago
My father would take ut to the supermarked and harass a poor kid into letting him use the shop-phone. Then he would call and harass the electricity Company for (rightfully) turning of his power even tho he hadnt payed. Then we would stay there a coulpe of hours while everybode working at the mall stared at us. When we got home the power was almost always on again. Happy times... i actually enjoyed it somewhat because he never took us anywhere public where we where allowed out of the car for that amount of time..
#11
It wasn't so much horrible but reality of growing up without much money. In elementary school I was breezing straight A's high honor roll. Would get rewarded with a toy for my report cards. I didn't want flashy toys like video game systems or ask for a new video game. Back then it was like a $5 wrestling action figure.
In middle school my attention focused on girls lol. So I went from toys to wanting to wear nice new clothes (always wore hand me downs and never cared much but in middle school years you I guess want to establish your own style identity). My dad was only income in household. Worked his plant job and was supporting a 7 person household as mom was just a housewife. He wasn't a big money engineer or anything just one of the worker bees.
Well 11 year old me got straight A's and instead of going to the mall as a reward or a new toy, I told my mom I wanted new clothes. New name brand Clothes were obviously way more expensive. My mom told me we would try next report card to get new clothes. Well obviously 11 year old me was not thrilled about that. So I guess I stupidly said "if you guys don't buy me new clothes I won't make straight a's anymore". My dad was in the kitchen eating an early dinner after he got off a long shift. Didn't say anything. The next day after school I got home. My dad came home from work usually aj hour later. He switched his work clothes to put on his casual clothes and I said where are you going he said get dressed were gonna go to Belk to buy you an outfit. They put it on the credit card even though we probably coudlnt afford it. When I got home later that night my sister a few years older than me (whom I shared a room with) kinda chewed me out and lectured me on how I threatened my parents to not doing my job in school if I didn't get clothes, when our family was already struggling for money.
That little life lesson really made 11 y.o. me sit back and think about what I said. Made me think about all the times my dad came home looking tired but never complained and just kept going to work the next day. And literally from that point on I never asked for any reward, any compensation or allowance for anything. Never told my sister how thankful that lesson in humility was for me. I will one day. Helped me appreciate the smaller things and what we already have. Less materialistic and more experiences.
Carla Campbell 2 years ago
This doesn't belong here. Sounds like your parents did their absolute best.
Melissa Powell 2 years ago
My dad worked for General Motors in Detroit. I think he was boss of an assembly line and a big labor guy. Took the bus to work. Had to be there at 6 am. He walked the walk to the bus line every morning rain or shine. He was an amputee and lost park of his right leg below the knee at age 10 playing on RR tracks. This was around 1910. One year he just said F**k it we are moving to CA About 6 months short of a pension from GM, he did not care.
#12
My half sister tried to drown me twice when I was little. It took me into my late teens to trust women again and still have a phobia of water deeper then 2ft. No, my parents didnt try to help. She waited till those little lapses of being watched.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
WHY DID YOUR PARENTS NOT DO ANYTHING??? DID THEY NOT REALISE THATS ATTEMPTED MURDER??!!!!!!
the harbinger of doom any 2 years ago
I KNOW! LIKE ARE YALL BLIND OR SOMETHING! ARE YALL FING STUPID!
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There are a few, rare cases where these kinds of experiences actually do build what psychologists call resilience. Kids who grow up in wealthier families and undergo childhood trauma tend to develop more resilience than their less well-off peers, however, this only applies if this wealth is actually spent on them.
#13
I was brought up in a cult
ThatCapybara 2 years ago
Damn I am SO sorry, hope you are out of that terrible situation now :)
The Cheetah 2 years ago
I was homeschooled in a cult like setting with my mom as the leader. As child slave labor, not allowed to go anywhere, no friends, not even allowed to be around kids my age & always black listed by my family. So not only my entire childhood stolen, but she flat out stole money, gold/silver, clothes/possessions, 3 cars, a 2k cruise plus made me pay half of my brothers, pay for all family vacations, food, rent, etc. Plus numerous chores, every day of our existence, taking care of her horde of animals(over 25 dogs, 50+ cats & a million other animals). Even after all the s**t she’s put me & my husband through(been trying to ruin our relationship from the beginning(first bf @22yo) we gave her multiple chances & she still does flat out evil stuff & pretends she didn’t. She puts on a good show. Wasn’t till I got away from it that I realized everything I was taught was lyes. Even what we watched was so censored growing up we didn’t know what the real world or high school was actually like.
The Cheetah 2 years ago
I still hate watching high school movies because it makes me mad about what I missed out on & will never get to experience.
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Alex Martin 2 years ago
A group of people (sometimes several groups in a larger cult) who live together. They are usually led by a very charismatic man who has ideas about religion or society that are very attractive to some people who feel out of place in society because of loneliness, mental trauma, substance abuse, or a need for belonging. Cults tend to control the lives of their members with strict rules about what people must and must not do. Sometimes the control can be very abusive with cult members forced to give their money and possessions to the cult. Cult members are often forced to break relationships with family and friends who arent in the cult. In the very worst cults members and/or their children are abused. It can be difficult to leave a cult because of psychological/social pressures from leaders and other members, a lack of money or ability to get money, and sometimes confinement.
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 2 years ago
We do collectively understand that, literally by definition, ALL religions are cults, right?
#14
My mom used to whoop my a*s really bad whenever i did the slightest thing wrong. I was genuinely afraid of doing literally anything.
As a kid i didn't like taking baths because my mom wouldn't stop telling me everytime that i stank and that i was a pig, that i was reeking of c**t and that i was completely gross and unhygienic, and also because the shower was too loud for me. I thought i would drown: the sound was too overwhelming in my ears when i had to wash my hair, so i was crying really bad, telling my mom that she was going to drown me. She slapped my mouth so i could shut up and stop moving, but she slapped me so hard that my mouth was bleeding. I couldn't do anything more besides bowing down my head, crying in silence as i was internally panicking because of the sound of water, while seeing my blood flowing through the shower drain.
It was so normal for me to be beaten up and also the typical "wait till we get home and you'll see" and getting beat the s**t out of me for talking when i shouldn't, that it was really weird for me when i'd go to friend's houses and seeing their moms talking to them with respect and not slapping them.
"Huh? Her mom doesn't... slap her or scream at her? Why? Is it because i'm here? My mom also slaps me in secret so if If i'm not here she will definitely slap her, yeah"
My father was more gentle but they were divorced and would visit us once every couple of weeks. I would call him and he was soo gentle and caring at washing my hair, like he was afraid of hurting me if he used more force, on contrary of my mom.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Similar childhood. Then I would go to a friend's house and be around her parents (whom my parents found absolutely not good people [cuz they didn't hide that they're white trash selfs with "Christianity"]), they were really kind parents and I was jealous of the relationships they had with their kids. Sure, they would yell but it never turned into hours of screaming where I had to hide because I was next otherwise.
Tamra 2 years ago
I can only hope that the father had no idea about the abuse, instead of knowingly leaving his own child in that environment.
VioletHunter 2 years ago
I thought the same but given that he'd been with that woman, he must have had at least some idea.
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Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I used to also get beaten and shouted a lot for small things and for saying things I shouldn’t
#15
An assistant football coach used to bully me a lot during practice (6th grade). One day, I looked right at him and told him to "shut up." He was so offended that a child said that to him that he just decked me, full force. I lost consciousness and came-to on my back staring up at the sun. I never told anyone about it and now, in my 30s, I replay this event very frequently...it causes me great anxiety.
VioletHunter 2 years ago
Some people need to not exist. There is no way this guy didn't hurt other people.
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
I've said this before. Mr Brennan, St Colmcilles SNS, Knocklyon, Dublin 16, circa year 2000. Lifted me up by the collar and ear, dragged me outside and threw me against a brick wall. I hope he gets cancer, thinks he's in remission and then finds out it's come back.
Con O Cuinn 2 years ago
It wasn't just me, he did it to a lot of the boys. And not the only thing he did.
Load More Replies... This is all to say that it’s best to first understand what actually happened and then think about how it affected one’s development and adulthood before passing judgments on whether something was good or bad. Just like weight training, smaller, controlled doses of “reality” can help a child mature, but it’s vital to remember that a kid isn't some project but a human being who needs a childhood to become a functional adult.
#16
My mom once highlighted my report card and wrote "this is what failure looks like" and put it on the fridge because I got a C
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago
I really hate that there are parents who punish children for bad grades
#17
My mother has borderline personality. Everything was horrible. As a kid, you think it’s totally normal. When you reflect on your childhood as an adult, you realize it was child a**se.
80 Van 2 years ago
BPD can be so devastating, but it is also highly treatable if the individual recognizes they have a problem and are willing to go through the steps of treatment.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
You don't know what you're talking about. As someone with bpd, please give me the sources that have convinced you it's "highly treatable". It's a lifelong mental health problem and being taught how to "cope" and suppress is not treatment.
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#18
In 4th grade a bunch of 6th graders, after torturing it, threw a cat from high up and it landed right in front of me and died. I was never quite the same since then and it took until early adulthood to realize certain aspects about myself are because of that event.
The Dog Lover (She/her) 2 years ago
That's so horrible. I'm so sorry that you had to see that.
PlatinumThe8-BitCat 2 years ago
This, might again be a bit too harsh, but if I saw someone do that to a cat or any animal I would definitely attack them
Melissa Powell 2 years ago
I would still be screaming. Had a dog when I was a kid and it was so very long ago. We had an Irish Setter. She had puppies. My sister filled a laundry tub full of water and drowned the puppies. She then left the house. I was maybe 8 my brother 6. My dad came home from work and we told him what she did. She stayed at my aunt’s for about 2 weeks.
Melissa 2 years ago (edited)
That's horrifying, I'm so sorry you went through that! Also I got confused for a moment because we have the same first and last name and I didn't remember reading any of this before let alone commenting... I also briefly forgot this is a new post, and that my last name doesn't show...
Load More Replies... Must Be Bored Again 2 years ago
I'm so sorry for what you have had to live through. Both you and the kitty deserved better lives than that. I hope your life is more stable now. Virtual hugs to you!
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
That is so sad :< and it's horrifying that there are people out there capable of committing that kind of cruelty, especially when they do it for fun.
#19
When I was 7 years old I was outside playing with my friends. An older boy who was a bully in the neighborhood walked by and started saying racist things to them. The boy and I are white and my friends are black. I didn’t understand what he was saying was racist and to be honest at the time I didn’t even fully understand the concept of race. I didn’t think of my friends as any different from me. I did know that he was making them upset so I told him to leave them alone. He called me a “wannabe” and a “n***** lover” I had never heard the n word before but I knew I was being insulted. There happened to be a big stick lying next to me on the ground so I picked it up and whacked him across the face with it. He started crying and ran to his house. I went back to playing with my friends like it was nothing.
About 20 minutes later the boys came back with his uncle. The uncle called me over and told me I needed to be put in my place. He then made me stand there while the boy slapped me across my face. He told him to do it harder again and again. The uncle was really angry that I wasn’t crying. I really wanted to, because it did hurt but was always told to never cry in front of the person who made you cry. Anyway, I’m not sure how long this went on for. At some point the boy started asking his uncle if he could stop. The uncle said fine and told me that if I had more white friends I would become a nicer girl that knew how to act.
I never told anyone and kind of felt like maybe I deserved it for hitting the boy with a stick. And it wasn’t until I was much older that I understood everything that happened.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Wow. No, a kid does not deserve to be told by an adult to stand still and let another kid hit them again and again. I'm glad that OP didn't understand about racism at a young age, if only all kids could grow up without hearing hate and stupidity spewed out of the mouths of the adults around them.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Goddàmmit, I shouldn't be able to relate to so many of these stories. 😔 I didn't realize until adulthood that my dad wasn't joking, he's racist. He didn't like my friend, Kimmy, and would make jokes when I mentioned how tasty her fried chicken cold lunch looked during lunch time. I didn't understand my dad was genuinely attempting to get our Mexican (legal) neighbors deported. Everything backfired cuz all three of us girls married men that are not white. Their only grandchild is half Iranian and I revel in the irony. Fùck you, Dad!
The Dog Lover (She/her) 2 years ago
Good on you for hitting him. He sounds horrible and I'm glad that you stood up for your friends.
Matthew Grove 2 years ago
But, that *child* also had a horrible experience growing up. All of these stories about people being affected in life from childhood experiences, and your takeaway is simply: good on you for hitting someone else who is enduring a truamatic childhood?
Load More Replies... TheElderNom 2 years ago
As a kid I didn't understand racism either, I did grow up in a very white village in Sweden, there was literally three people there that weren't white but I don't recall any racism there. Later we moved to a place that still was very white but the entire area sadly had a strong history of neonazis and while it had calmed down it was still a thing. There I had my first taste if racism. Some kids spouted stuff about hating foreigners which in retrospect sounded very parroted. Since I was half Danish I was very upset that they hated me, me being half foreign and all. But no, I was okay, Danish wasn't a real foreigner. So what constitutes a real foreigner then? Dark skin. So *classmate* then? (An immigrant with dark skin and a close friend to the boys in question). No, we know him, he's okay. I still found the concept of racism confusing, I still do to this day.
Nice Beast Ludo 2 years ago
This is how I grew up in the US (Connecticut ) NEVER heard of or saw racism in an all white town. Then moved to very diverse Maryland and it was every where and I learned how racist my own parents actually were
Load More Replies... Haywood Jablome 2 years ago
It sounds like maybe the bully also learned a lesson about snitching
Rain the dragon rider 2 years ago (edited)
Can't we all just be anti-racist? I have a black friend named Amber, and she doesn't really mind about being insulted, but I still like to care for her as a friend.
Actively Lazy Cat 2 years ago (edited)
No one said anything about a grown man having his nephew slap a girl in the face over and over? That man and his nephew are both just wastes of life. Racist pos..The whole thing is seriously fücked up but that stuck out for me that op is a girl. And good on her for sticking up for what's right and also for not letting those douchebags see her cry. We need more of her and less of them.
#20
Getting almost no guidance. It felt like freedom when I was a kid, but once I left home I realized it left me very unprepared to face the real world.
RabidChild 2 years ago
Yep. I pretty much raised myself and learned life basics after my parents threw me out at 18. They tossed me out with only my clothes. Fortunately I had a friend that took me in & gave me guidance, showed me how to open a bank account and all those fun things.
afia kooma 2 years ago
Lot of talk about the benefits of serving military service here, but there are many other ways to learn to take care of oneself and have respekt and selvrespekt without simutaniously learning to kill other people.
#21
I was having really bad depression and s****dal ideation at the age of eleven. my parents took me to see a child psychologist and they sat in the first session. I guess they didn’t like what I had to say cause my dad yelled at me on the way home and threatened to flip over the car since I wanted to die so bad. he kept saying things like “you ungrateful child” and “you made us seem like bad parents” and “why don’t I flip over the car since you’re bored and making things up” and the whole time my mom was looking back at me and laughing, as she thought of it as a joke. 24 now, and due to the economy being so bad, still staying at home. but once I move out, I’ll never speak to them again, as the problems just got worse after that. why would they say that to their eleven yeaeleven-year-oldr old?
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Why the heck were your parents in the first session?!? And with them there, why would the therapist ask anything other than introductory?
Brainmas 2 years ago
A lot of time kids don't get send to therapy until their behavior is causing family problems, or because someone outside the family found out about the problem and the parents want to look like they're doing something. It's common to have family sessions so that the therapist can help members communicate and understand each other better. It doesn't always go well.
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Tempest 2 years ago
So sorry you had to go through that. I hope you managed to get help eventually or will get soon. I can understand where you’re coming from. I was depressed and suicidal at 12-13 years too. Realised something was wrong when I was writing up a suicide note at that age. But my parents don’t know about it to this day so I don’t know if they’ll be supportive or not but I’m so not interested in opening up about my struggles to them.
Haywood Jablome 2 years ago
I was suicidal at 11 as well. My mother told me to just stick it out. No help, no support, just stick it out
Tamra 2 years ago
That's just awful. So many stories here of people who were so let down by the very people who should have supported them the most. I'm so sorry you didn't get the support you deserved.
Load More Replies... Grizzly milk 2 years ago
I can relate to the first sentence. I have really bad PTSD depression and ADHD, and I’ve been to at least 15 different therapists/psychologists none of them have helped
Jon Steensen 2 years ago
The problem with depression is that it is a really strange beast to fight, and as many people who are depressed are ashamed of the illness and blame themselves, they are often very good at hiding the symptoms. As they will therefore often apear to be normal, it is, unfortunately, way too easy for people around them to conclude that nothing is really wrong, and that the child must be acting up to get attention. When you have not been there yourself, imagining what living with depression is like can be really hard, and hence few people really know how they should be dealing with it when it happens to friends or relatives.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
Similar thing happened around that age but I never got any therapy
Tamra 2 years ago
Please hang in there and hang on, my friend. You will not always be at the mercy of your parents. I know it can feel endless, especially when you're hurting, but nothing is forever. Not even the pain.
Load More Replies... Alyssa Phillips 2 years ago
My 9 year old and 14 year old both go to therapy. I went for the first session as introduction and I've been to a handful since. When THEY want me there. They know that the therapist is their special person that they can tell anything to and I won't know about it (minus a few exceptions). It's a safe space and I see it as preventative care. Learn to handle the present instead of fixing the past.
#22
It took me almost 25 years to realise that alcoholic parents aren't normal and other people have it different.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Even being a parent now who doesn't drink, I can't imagine growing up without parental alcoholism in my life. Probably because I was still the caretaker then, too.
ί𝔫ＣίŦᵃт𝐔𝐬 2 years ago
Who in the hell downvoted you for this painful experience?? I've about had it with a lot of people on here.
Load More Replies... Melissa Powell 2 years ago
My dad was a periodic drunk and it was awful. Picked on my mom who was quite wonderful. When I got married, he was a lieutenant in the AF in pilot training. He decided he needed to be drunk every Friday night. After about 2 months, I told him if he was going to do this, I was going home. I meant it. I loved him but that was not ok. Friday drunk, Saturday recovery, Sunday all day studying. He changed his ways.
#23
Bullied in elementary school for being Jewish. Pennies thrown at me and epithets as well. Now, I don't take the slightest "attack" of any sort. I am intolerant of any sort of disparagement of anyone and will react forcefully when I encounter it.
Danish Susanne 2 years ago
We should all be intolerant of disparagement whether it be of jews, negroes, fat people, skinny people or redheads.
#24
Not to me, but there was a family of kids that were being severely a**sed by their mother and nobody did anything. As children we obviously saw adults do nothing and thought it wasn't serious. One of them ended up drinking caustic soda when he was 12 in an attempt to kill himself. Looking back I see that nobody protected those kids. Every adult failed them.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
abused. idk why it's being censored but it's stupid to censor the world abuse
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Caro Caro 2 years ago
If others know children are being abused and don't intervene, then they are guilty as well.
VioletHunter 2 years ago
Often plenty of people report abuse and it is ignored by the relevant authorities. In a lot of cases where a child is killed or sexual abuse is finally revealed, it turns out people had reported for YEARS.
Load More Replies... Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Same here! I thought I might have been exaggerating when I told my therapist that I had zero healthy adults as a child that I could trust. After MUCH reflection, I wasn't exaggerating, even the adults in my church weren't safe. Go, "Christians"! 😒
Daniela Lavanza 2 years ago
Downvote for stupid censorship. It's such an important topic, and you want to hide the most important word? Seriously???
Roger9er 2 years ago
Sodium hydroxide, also known as caustic or caustic soda, is an inorganic compound with the chemical formula NaOH. The substance occurs as a white, hygroscopic solid, which is highly soluble in water. A large amount of heat is released during dissolution. (Source: Wikipedia)
Load More Replies... Melissa Powell 2 years ago
Me and my brother use to disappear for hours after school and during summer. The only thing that I remember doing was riding a bike thru a semi walk park to get to the swimming pools in Rouge Park. I hope those pools are still there and relatively inexpensive to enter. We each paid 25 cents to get in. Taught myself to swim. My parents did not know where we were. Only rule, show up for supper.
#25
I was in summer camp and had made friends with the weird girl there. We were probably both around 7 or 8, both awkward kids who weren't good at making friends but we got along with each other. She had a very perverted sense of humor and was constantly talking about everyone's genitals. Didn't think much of it at the time.
Once she was sitting in a chair at a table and I snuck up behind her as a joke and grabbed the back of her chair and shook it to startle her. She was laughing and yelled at me to stop it. So I stopped it. She asked why I stopped. I told her she'd just asked me to stop so I did. She said that her dad told her that if a girl says stop it means do it harder. She wanted me to shake it harder. So I did.
Now that's a memory that got lost in my brain for years collecting dust, but thinking back on summer camp one day and remembering that made me think wait... what the F**K? I mean I hope my assumptions are wrong, but it really seems obvious what was happening to her at home. How did an adult there never notice all the signs?
Weasel Wise 2 years ago (edited)
Your assumptions weren't wrong, unfortunately. This makes me nauseous.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago (edited)
There was probably some sexual abuse behind that statement. I hope that girl doesn't have to deal with her dad anymore
Becky Moore 2 years ago
I was diagnosed with BPD many many years ago and went to a therapeutic community for personality disorders. I didn't know how common rape and child abuse was until I went there. There were 28 of us in the community and I'd say only about 5 that hadn't been abused :(
Steffi Rose 2 years ago
I’m bpd too. Childhood trauma is hell well after childhood
Load More Replies... Melissa Powell 2 years ago
Because it was one of the adults in her home that were doing this to her.
#26
In Elementary school, I won 1st place in a Halloween costume contest. Finally, all those kids who teased me for looking like a girl would see that I was awesome! My parents helped me make my Cat in the Hat costume for like a week. Just recently saw pictures - wicked cute.
School principal called me up on stage and announced, as the first place winner, I got to choose any of the prizes from the girls' table. I had won best costume for the girls as a 7 year-old boy who was already teased for being girly. From this day forward, teasing turned to beatings.
The moment of looking out at all of the whole school, as well as the parents (mine, too), and more and thinking "see, I'm a winner!" as they all laughed at my confusion has caused damage I'm still undoing 40 years later.
EDIT: thank you everyone... I expected you to make fun of me (even now). Thank you for your kindness.
RiotGirl 2 years ago
When I was a kid (about 4 or 5) I was given a Barbie from the rich folks while I was trick or treating. My mom had made me the most adorable scarecrow costume. Unbeknownst to me, I am Intersex and they assigned me male at birth. Well they were wrong, because I'm 100% female. My dad was so mad and beat me pretty bad and threw my doll in the fire. A few years later when I said to him that I'm a girl he beat me so bad I missed several weeks of school for fear they'd arrest him and take me away. I'm living my best life now, going to therapy on the regular and I'm finally happy. Like for real happy, and look forward to every new day.
Brainmas 2 years ago
The fact that they had gender specific categories for a children's costume contest is ridiculous. A good costume is a good costume. The only time I ever won anything was actually a costume contest! I was the queen of hearts, but like the actual playing card drawn on big pieces of poster board lol. I don't think many kids entered that year.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
How the heck? No, nevermind, principals need not have principles, especially back in the "good ol' days."
Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
I can't freakin believe that the principal actually did this. There's no way they didn't know that he's a boy. They had his records and everything. Talk about throwing him to the wolves; that's horrible!
moggelogalus 2 years ago
OP, i hope the pain eases. You are deserving of kindness, encouragement, affection, truth, sincerity and confidence. You are worthy of love
#27
Bullying, it made me socially awkward that's a disadvantage now
Kerry Borthwick 2 years ago
Bullied all my life got abused by ex now I have anxiety depression and PTSD I try to make others happy even if I end up being hurt coz I don't want no one as lonely as me
Melissa Powell 2 years ago
My goodness, I was bullied. I had to wear very very thick lenses in the glasses I had to wear and the favorite thing to call me was four eyes. All through elementary school. I did manage to stand up for myself. I punched the lights out of several kids including a few boys. School conferred with my mom and my mom told the school that they might do something about the bullies pestering me. My parents were pretty supportive of me and my brother. Not so much my sister. She was 8 years older. She did crazy stuff and always in an argument with my dad. She wanted to get married. My dad said no. She was 18 and joined the Army. My dad was furious but no way to change that, she was 18.
Tree P 2 years ago
I can relate to the "four eyes" taunt. I started wearing glasses at 8 years old. Always made to feel I was less attractive because of them.
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Drilly_94_YGz! 2 years ago
nah my strategy is be a jackass to the point the bullies cant even stand being around me
#28
My mom barely fed us when my dad was out of town. She only let me shower once every two weeks. She would tear my clothes off and lock me outside. She would randomly pull over, drag me out of the car by my hair and leave me to walk home, even if it was miles away and no safe way to get there. She would pull my hair until I fell on the ground and then kick me in my back until I wet my pants, when I was a teenager. I never had enough clothes and getting underwear and a bra was always difficult. I thought I was a bad kid and deserved everything she did, until I grew up and my dad got early onset Alzheimer's. I saw her do all the same awful things to him and I couldn't stop it. I reported her to adult protective services several times and asked her neighbors to report anything they saw as well. She cried and told APS her kids refused to help and she was overwhelmed, so they got free respite care several days a week. She would make the caregiver scrub the floor on her hands and knees instead of helping my dad. Finally dad fell down and hit his head, in the exact spot in the house where she always used to knock me down, and had to go to a certain hospital because it was the only level one trauma center in the area. I went in the middle of the night and told the ICU nurses about the a**se and neglect. I told the social worker at the hospital how my mom liked to withhold necessities because she liked seeing people "offer up their suffering to the lord." The hospital refused to discharge him back to his house, and he spent the rest of his life in various facilities. My mom had a pattern of getting kicked out of the facility and then moving him to a different one, where she would bully the staff and interfere with my dad's meds and feeding tube until they figured her out and kicked her out. After my dad died, she tried to find another old person to care for, even offering to be a free caregiver. She wants to move my sibling into her house, because my sibling is severely disabled after several strokes. She insists she can get sibling walking again, if sibling can't get any food unless they walk to the kitchen.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Why was she not arrested? Or put in her own room at the hospital for the mentally unstable and dangerous?
Mermeow Overlord (they/them) 2 years ago
I think I need to stop reading these, I wish I could help everyone but I feel powerless to help anyone.
Sheila Simonson 2 years ago
I went through some of this same stuff. just add in my mom telling her husband and other men to sleep with me. if I let it happen she would beat me for doing it. if I didn't let it happen she would push me in the room and hold the door shut so I couldn't get out until I did let it happen. when I was young she would get so mad at me because she had to work 2-3 jobs to pay the bills and get no child support from my dad. my dad was her uncle and he didn't want anything to do with me because I was not a boy. she would bite my arm so hard and leave a perfect tooth impression. at school they thought I was crazy for biting myself and always had me doing mental evaluations. I finally realized it was not normal and reported it. my grandmother raised me after that. now in my 50's I still try to talk to her about it, but all I get is "that didn't happen", or " I don't remember that".
Dee 2 years ago
You must be an incredibly strong person to have survived that Sheila.
Load More Replies... Salman Chowdhury 2 years ago
damn when she dies i wanna know where her grave is i can take a p**s
margarita pizzaaaa 2 years ago
i really really really hope this is fake. i’ve lost faith in the humanity in this world..
#29
I lived in the countryside in a farming town. Alongside the road my family lived on was a small concrete ditch. It was visible for about half the road and then went underground the rest of the road until it flowed out into a large canal at the end.
I was a really thin and small kid. When I was about 9 or so my sister and I and some of her friends were playing in the small ditch to cool off. My sister thought it would be interesting to see if I could fit into the pipe that led underground. So my 12 year old sister and her friends held me by my arms and lowered me into the pipe until my hips were in. I could feel the rushing water pulling me in. I yelled at them to bring me back out. They did and then we left.
I didn’t tell anyone about it for years and when I finally did they looked horrified. So yeah if my sister had lost her grip, I would have gone underground and likely gotten stuck and drowned.
smugdruggler 2 years ago
Probably the most actually frightening thing I've ever read on BP.
Load More Replies... Melissa Powell 2 years ago
Terrible story. But you know back in the day, we ran around never told parents where or who was with us. We did set boundaries on ourselves. Pretty close to the last generation able to do this. Not one of us died, was abused by a stranger (more likely to happen with a relative) got lost for days etc. We just lived. My curfew at age 8 in the winter time was 9 pm. I was usually at the library and it closed at 9. Walked home. Had to cross a large parking lot with a few cars still there, thru a gate thru a neighborhood to reach my home. Also we all played on the RR tracks especially in the summer. I am not sure why no one died, lol.
§• Råinbow Påndå •§ 2 years ago
This is like the exact opposite of the one that’s sister tried to drown them
#30
Raised by single mom. She emotionally dumped all her problems on me starting as far back as I can remember (5? 6? Years old). Def screwed me up as an adult.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
And then toward the end cry and apologize about doing so, making you feel like you had to tell her it was ok even though you both knew it wasn't, but she would still do it again soon.
Lene 2 years ago
My mom is like this. I was brought up to support her emotionally. So messed up to have your 6yo comfort being the shoulder you cry on when your bf breaks up with you or when you get fired. Or to tell your 8yo that it's OK if they love grandma even if you hate her. It has messed me up in so many ways. And yet, my mom thinks she was a good mom.
Haywood Jablome 2 years ago
It happens to so many of us single-parent children there's a name for it. Emotional incest
#31
Starting to eat LSD at 13 at the encouragement from my father because “it was cool and made everything look like cartoons.” In retrospect, its mind boggling and so absurd to convince a child to do that insane of a drug. I’m grateful for my experiences and I think I have some unique perspectives thanks to the copious amounts of hallucinogens I ate 13-16, but I would absolutely never in a million years encourage my 2 children to do that. It hurts my heart.
Montanavanna 2 years ago
My father gave my 14 year old brother meth. Would take us on drug runs with him. I could get time added to my curfew if I brought him weed. Parents, if your thinking it is a good idea to expose your children to drugs, don't. It contributed to my own substance abuse issues.
Kat 2 years ago (edited)
My husband had finally gotten clean after our son was born and was working at his dad's business like he had been his whole life. His dad's reaction upon finding out that he no longer needed pills was to offer him more pills. It was pretty easy to see where his addiction started in the first place.
#32
I lost my sister to brain cancer at 7 years old. Parents shut down after and never were able to go back to healthy people. Lot more to the story than that, but this situation being the majority of my childhood. I didn’t realize how f*****g awful it all was until I was an adult and out of the house. Kinda like a frog in boiling water, I had no idea how rough my situation was.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Obviously the parents wouldn't even think of individual and family therapy to help everyone cope with their grieving process and life after loss.
Sathe Wesker 2 years ago
Unfortunately there are a lot of stigmas surrounding therapy within different cultures and generations alike.
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#33
Mom took me along when she was buying drugs. Took me 30 years to realize waiting at a gas station at 6 am on a Saturday wasn’t a thing, and neither was driving WAY into the ghetto and having her friend drive around the block with us. Turns out not everyone sleeps on their laundry and goes right to bed when they get home EVERY DAY either.
Sathe Wesker 2 years ago
I hope she got the help she needed… addiction is a real issue and people who want it, deserve the help.
VioletHunter 2 years ago
Tbh if those are OPs most "horrible" memories of a drug addict mother, she seems to have managed fairly well given the circumstances.
Load More Replies... #34
Living in an environment with addicts. Having your head on a swivel and things going from zero to 100 in .5 seconds is not normal. As a teenager I turned to alcohol to cope and that was the only tool in my toolbox for most of my adulthood - did not realize the severity of how bad I had got until I was in my 30's.
TheReader19 2 years ago
My father was an alcohol, the humiliation is real. The affects of having toxic parents can mess you up for eternity. We need to stop encouraging children especially daughters to believe its their job to stick by and look after parents. Just because someone created you doesn't mean you owe them your life; especially when they've taken your youth.
#35
How much my mother used to F me up, physically and verbally. She can't physically anymore today, but boy oh boy does she still have that sword of a tongue... And will never, ever, ever admit to it. Ever. Crazy.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
Hmm, straight up verbal abuse, or guilt trips? Moms can make both super horrific in my experience. They know exactly what buttons to push since they helped create most of them.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago
Why do these people keep contact with their absolutely disgusting parents? Yep, it'll hurt BAD when the deed is done and you tell your parents you can't have them in your life anymore but the heartache I've saved myself from has allowed me to grow SO much. If I were still being abused by them, I wouldn't be making the healthy proactive choices for myself that I do now.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
I think most of Gen X didn't know it was an option? I remember being filled with awe and thinking ,"Wait, that's an option that can really happen?!?". The first time I came across someone talking about going NC. It is one of the concepts from the younger than my generation that I really like along with the term socially awkward and texting instead of talking on the phone.
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Yvonne Dauwalder Balsiger 2 years ago
Please know that you do not have to stay in contact with toxic people, even if they are your own parents. They absolutely do not deserve having you in their life. You will feel much better if you don't. And screw everyone who gives you the "but you only have one mother"/sanctity of family bs. Those people don't know how it is growing up with a narcissist, gaslighting mom and a dad who gives zero fs about you and your sister - ok, that was my situation but you get what I mean
Tamra 2 years ago
So many people still believe that they somehow "owe" their parents their time, affection, efforts, or even money. When abuse is part of the equation (or even disrespect), all bets are off. You cannot move forward in a healthy way while still allowing those kinds of people to erode your self respect, your safety, or your happiness.
Lez Be Honest 2 years ago
I struggled with this until the day my mom died..."But she's my mom!" Ugh
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Dread Pirate Roberts 2 years ago
I hope OP dumps her in the crappiest nursing home they can find and never looks back.
TheReader19 2 years ago
Sorry to say, but your mum needs to be left to her own devices. Sometimes we need to leave toxic family behind.
#36
My mum divorced my step dad when I was around 7 and 6 weeks later she was moving into her new partner's house ( up the street from our house ) we had a dog that I've had since I was tiny, and her new partner had a dog, they didn't get on. so my mum left the dog in the now abandoned house alone. I remember using my pocket money and stealing money to get dog food, steal the keys, and feed her. I vividly remember the smell of the house. and how much weight and fur she'd lost. this was for about 2 weeks and I was the only one who tried to help her aged 7. my dad visited and I told him and he was horrified and we took her to a rescue that day. now when I see anything to do with a stray or a**Mysed animal I'll have a full breakdown
The Dog Lover (She/her) 2 years ago
You did the right thing. You should be proud that you saved your dog.
Must Be Bored Again 2 years ago
What a wonder dad and you were a superhero child. Love finds a way.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
That poor dog! I'm glad you saved it and that you got it help bcs that's a very good thing to do.
Melissa Powell 2 years ago
People did not take care of their kids or pets. Female dogs and cats had litter after litter and those tiny beings just died.
#37
knew it was bad, but not how much it affected me (a short list) getting injured by a knife from my dad (who didn't even realize he cut my hand in his delirium) stopping my dad from swallowing the 2nd pack of sleeping pills and forcing him to throw up some and the whole hospital ordeal, my mother arrived home only the day after being "taught" to be manly and never cry, and having the punches only stop once i stop crying something that i disliked but only after some time realized how bad it truly was: being forced to eat rotten/insect infested food bc we couldn't afford proper food (regular alcohol, drugs and $8 a pack cigarettes were affordable though)
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
This is straight up abuse. I hope that you love a happier life now.
#38
My friend and I were Groomed/persuaded by an adult man on the internet to send inappropriate pictures. We were 11.
That Goth Demon (zey/zem) 2 years ago
This has happened to some ppl I know before, it's horrible
Cammy Mack 2 years ago
A greater crime than murder, IMO. There is nothing more evil on Earth than child sexual abuse.
Weasel Wise 2 years ago (edited)
I was groomed at the same age by an internet stranger. Then I got beaten when a grown man mailed me pictures of his genitals.
Montanavanna 2 years ago
I learned my friends teen daughter had a similar tale that occurred when she was that age. Said he was a boyfriend. I told her if they got out she could be charged with creating cp. Blew her mind. Now she will think twice before sending such images as she is still underage.
#39
Mentally ill parents, narcissistic. Extremely charismatic, center of attention, creative artistic intellectual types, attracted a very interesting eclectic variety of friends, had parties and lots of social life for themselves. But us kids? We were just objects there for them to a**se. We suffered terrible a**se because of their need to put us down in every possible way, tell us we were morons, ridicule everything we did and said, ridiculed how we looked and make us extremely self-conscious of our bodies. Basically made us learn not to trust ourselves in any way, destroying our confidence. I am the only one of four who was able to have a measure of normal success in life because I was the favored one(which was just my role in the family-gotta have one kid you train to be on your side against the rest so you have one who will do what you need when you’re old.) This destroyed my siblings lives, and also ruined mine because I was trained to submit to them. We all escaped at age 18. All had to make bad decisions or rely on the help of friends to survive. I moved in with an older man who seemed like a gentle person, and years later my mother pushed us to get married. Yes, I do blame her because she never cared about me, only she wanted one of her kids to get married and have grandchildren to continue the farce that we were a normal family. And I was trained by them to not trust myself, so I married him ignoring the warning signs that I really didn’t understand at all because all I was ever taught to do was to not trust my instincts and that I am the one who must be wrong. I eventually figured out he is a life long drug addict. But I worked through it and made a nice family for my parents to enjoy. Had to leave my husband when the kids were little and do all this on my own. I did an amazing job and have 3 wonderful adult children. Dad died 9 years ago, and I finally cut my mother and sister off completely, no contact, one year ago. Best thing I ever did for myself. Just sorry I didn’t do it sooner. I finally have my life.
#40
I remember sitting on the floor, excited to open this VHS tape of Aliens, because I really wanted to watch it. My mom was in the middle of a drunken haze when I asked her for a knife to open the movie case, and she put it up to her wrists - screaming at me, red faced, tears, completely angry, telling me if I wanted her to kill herself, all I had to do was ask. I just wanted to watch my movie. That same night she didn't make dinner, was passed out half naked on the couch, and I remember listening to her snore and looking at the knife she left me like, "Why don't I just kill her?" Never did, obviously, but it was one of those 'child stands over parent with a knife' scenes from a movie. I never thought of my childhood as *bad* until I told it to my girlfriend and she started crying. Then everything just started to make sense: lack of empathy, closed off, anger issues, etc-etc. I get frustrated when people don't think the way I think, but the way I think is sociopathic. Nowadays I understand that.
#41
How unreliable and emotionally neglectful my parents were, I thought it was normal to only see them on the weekends and to not trust them to show up when you needed them to. In my head, all parents did was work and be “vague authority figures” that I didn’t actually know.
#42
I had an elementary 2nd-grade teacher who wouldn’t let me use the bathroom under any circumstances. I would be in distress begging that I be allowed to go to the bathroom. Needless to say, there were multiple instances where I’d pee myself in front of the entire class and I’d have to go through the rest of the day without having a pair of dry pants on. So being a**sed in any way as a kid when I think about it now is obviously not ok in any situation
Awkward lady 2 years ago
What is it with not allowing kids/employees to use the bathroom? I know some take advantage, but you have no right to deny a basic human function!
#43
I once brought home a bad test result from school and my mother took a pen to write „doof“ (stupid in german) on my forehead and them made me get in the car to drive to dads office, so she could show him. I was about 8/9 years old.
#44
I thought I was alergic to a certain type of food, after eating it the first time I became extremely sick, could’ve been coincidence but it happened every time I ate it at my aunts place. So skip forward 20 years and I have to do some more allergy tests. Turns out I’m not allergic to the food. So me being completely bamboozled explain my symptoms to my doctor, he told me that those were symptoms of poisoning not allergies… my aunt tried to poison me, multiple times… when I was 5…
The Dog Lover (She/her) 2 years ago
Some people are just horrible. I'm glad that you survived.
Rain the dragon rider 2 years ago
And God was protecting you, multiple times...when you were five...
#45
When I was in grade 1 my teacher grabbed me by the hair and shook me because I couldn’t understand a math question. I was shocked and traumatized but put it behind me (although never forgot obviously). Can you imagine the consequences of that happening today? This was around 1979.
Vasana Phong 2 years ago (edited)
Back in 1980 I was put in an ESL class( for immigrants that needed the class to learn English) in 1st grade I was in a class with others of the same and our teacher was this Asian man, he would hit us with his green round plastic stick in our hands if we answered wrong, the punishment was always done in front of the class, some boys would be on their knees the whole day, he would force other kids to hit us, he forced 2 kids to kiss, he forced a kid to eat this nasty porridge until the kid poked all over, I never mentioned this at home because I actually thought it was normal, there was more but can’t think of it now, i had him in 2nd grade too, when I got to 3rd grade I got a new teacher down the hall, til this day hands down he was the best teacher in the world, he genuinely cared for all of us and taught us right with patience and love
RiotGirl 2 years ago
That sucks. I'm super sorry you had to deal with that Vasana. Hope you're doing better now.
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Amy Watson 2 years ago
It still happens. My son's preschool teacher did that to at least 4 kids that we know of- all special education students. When he was in her class, he was the only verbal child and was only beginning to speak. I'm haunted by the thought that some of those days when he came home crying it might not have been exhaustion or basic kid meltdown reasons and might have been something done to him or that he saw do e to others.
Angela C 2 years ago
1997: my preschool teacher grabbed me by the arm, which would be bad enough... but it's worse because this was AFTER my mom told that b***h I'd just gotten the cast off that arm after breaking it over the summer. Tbh I judge my mom for not pulling me out of that preschool after that because while they never got physical again those teachers were evil bitches
#46
Brooklyn NYC, 1981 My parents had an argument in the kitchen. My mom had been drinking and for some reason decides to open the drawer and pull out two massive knives and bangs them on the kitchen counter to prove her point. My dad reckoned she lunged at him. Whatever it was, my dad lost his s**t and f****d her up. 5 year old me at the just froze in the living room chair. He went to jail, she went to hospital, I went to the neighbors.
#47
My brother and I got kidnapped when I was six and he was nine. We got chained up in some dudes apartment. Wasnt until we were drunk and in our 30s that we even remembered it, but when we did we were like “ holy f**k, that DID happen”
JammaCoast2Coast 2 years ago
From the Reddit post, his brother remembered more: the dude had us chained up in his apartment and was threatening to throw us over the balcony if we screamed. One of his friends came over, cause I think he was a drug dealer or something. Anyways the dude who came over for drugs saw us and was like “ dude your f'd up, I’m not getting high with these kids here, so he unchained us and told us if we told anyone he would throw us over his balcony.
Load More Replies... #48
My older cousin tried to drown me when I was a toddler. She kept dunking me under water at a public pool, telling me to hold my breath, but not giving me a chance to. She wouldn't stop taking me underwater no matter how much I screamed
#49
Cops followed me home and pointed guns at me “Told me I looked like a criminal” showed me a photo of some random guy who looked nothing like me
irissii (she/them) 2 years ago
i'm not even gonna make a guess at this point since it's so obvious what this is
#50
The emotional a**se my mom subjected me to. A lot of people had it worse, but it seriously f****d me up. It affects me every day.
Couragetcd 2 years ago
It is fine to remind yourself that others "had it worse" as long as you are not actively comparing your trauma to theirs. You can be grateful you didn't experience more trauma, but trauma is always hard to live past healthily.
#51
at age 12, keeping a knife in my bed side table and putting my heaviest draws in front of my door before going to sleep just in case my moms boyfriend got too drunk that night.
#52
Sexual a**se , i only realised in my early 20's
Nicola Mawson 2 years ago
I'm writing a book, for the past 25 years, and some serious stuff is coming back to me now
#53
My mother's Schizoaffective disorder and psychotic episodes. When other kids were afraid of monsters hiding under the bed, I was afraid of someone cutting the silver cord connecting my astral body to my physical so I would die. I had knowledge on the occult, the paranormal and other spooky stuff already as a 5 year old. I learned it from my mother's hallucinations and delusions.
#54
My mom asked me to type up a list on the computer so she could track which doctors prescribed her which medications. Dr. Smith prescribed the Xanax; Dr. Lopez prescribed the Klonopin, Dr. Johnson prescribed the Valium, Dr. Chang prescribed the Ativan, ... -- edit, for those unaware: these drugs are all addictive tranquilizers. No patient needs four kinds. A patient who receives similar, addictive drugs from separate doctors is probably a**sing drugs and not telling their doctors about each other's prescriptions (i.e., they are "doctor shopping").
Vasana Phong 2 years ago
I’m sure most of these are self pay, as the insurance company would flag these meds
#55
Not a horrible thing but a very near miss. In the 3rd grade, I accidentally got off at the wrong bus stop coming home from school. I grew up in a rural area so stops were usually miles apart on this county road with long dirt driveways leading to each property. Once I realized I was at the end of the wrong dirt road, I had no idea what to do and started crying until a stranger in a truck pulled off the road to see what was up. Me, then an 8 yo girl, blindly trusted this stranger and got into his truck with no witnesses and nobody knowing where I was. That could've been it for me but I got lucky and he just drove me to the police station. I can't imagine what my life might be like if the wrong person had found me first that day.
Pikkie Vertenten 2 years ago
How far away from being human are we that the help from a stranger is a "very near miss"? When I would see a person young or old in need, I would stop to see if I could help. This person who drove you to the police was a normal person. Or is every other human being today a "danger"?
#57
Gaslighting. Used to think all parents gaslight their kids which is why it was “stupid” to speak out against your parents because my mom always told heinous lies about me to my friends and their families if I ever spoke out about her.
#58
My dad put dents in my mothers front door when I decided not to see him anymore. I felt fine after it. Now i sleep with a bat and knife.
#59
Being sheltered. Literally destroys your social life, mental health, and ability to properly do things as a person. Lost all of my good friends because of it and practically have no social life/ motive as of now yet it's my fault. Even to this day, it's still a b***h to do the simplest things and I see it being like that for a long while.
Awkward lady 2 years ago
I think I do. It means never being allowed to do things on your own, being helicoptered all the time, told what to do and even think. I had a bit of that growing up so I understand.
Load More Replies... #60
I've had so many horrible things happen to me but I'll keep it to less severe examples of my trauma. One time we took in a pregnant cat and after the cat gave birth my mom put them all in a box and told me that we were going to donate them to the humane society because we couldn't afford them anymore. Instead, she drives us to the middle of nowhere and tells me to put the box on the side of the road. I started crying and begging her no that it wasn't right to do that but she made me. Another time I was staying over with my friend whose mom was a severe alcoholic. We were having fun until her mom got really drunk and started fighting with her boyfriend. The mom threatened to throw herself into an incoming train. I was the one who had to physically hold her back while my friend was sobbing on the sidewalk.
#61
my father kidnapped me during my parents divorce, for two weeks i lived at my grandparents until i accidentally told my mother during my daily phonecall that dad was in jail for a**ault still love my father and he is doing amazingly well with a new wife that i love, but it wasn’t until recently that i realized it was super f****d up
#62
parents constantly said my sister and I aren’t that smart and they know everything. Turns out they were just narcissist who are dumb af. I still struggle asking girls out because my first thought is always “I am ugly and dumb so no one wants to be around a creep like you”
#63
I almost drowned at 6 yrs old. Never was a big deal, kinda forgot about it til recently and for some reason I can vividly remember it now. Seeing the sunlight above the water and reaching for it, jumping, trying to get my head above the water. I guess someone pulled me out I dont really know that part. Horrible feeling
#64
hooking up with my high school boyfriend in an alley between apartment buildings after sneaking out of the house at night (as one does when your relationship is forbidden and you both live with your parents) and then a “security guard” approached us. we got up quickly and pulled our clothes back on and he goes, “you don’t have to stop. i can watch.” not into voyeurism or exhibitionism since then.
SoshiDragon13 2 years ago
<you don’t have to stop. i can watch. EXCUSE ME WHAT THE ACTUAL FUNGUS SKULL
#65
Was bit by a dog and needed A&E. Obviously knew it was bad at the time, but was comfortable with dogs still as a kid. But over time I developed a very intense fear for any moderately sized dog... really ruined my dream of having 2 mastiffs as my first pets lol
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DB 2 years ago
Mine has to be the time I called the police because my mother was beating my brother. She was sitting on the edge of her bed with him kneeling in front of her. She was holding a high-heeled shoe (by the heel part) and whenever he gave her an answer she didn't like concerning whatever it was she was asking him she would smack him in the head with the shoe. When the cop arrived both my mother and my brother denied everything although it was clear from the red marks on my brother's face that she was lying. After the cop left she beat the hell out of me. From that day on I just took the abuse because it was obvious no authority figure was ever going to believe me. My brother changed after that. He grew darker and angrier. Got in a lot of trouble. Quit school. Eventually went to prison twice and was dishonorably discharged from the Army and is a registered sex offender. I often wonder if his life, and mine, would have turned out differently had that cop actually believed me.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I used to be beaten up a lot after we moved to India and my dad used to beat me until last year. I remember once I was dangled off a 4 storey balcony and once my dad lifted me by the neck to the ceiling
Tamra 2 years ago
Star...you said "until last year"...does that mean he's stopped? Is there any safe adult you can turn to? Anyone at all? This breaks my heart.
Load More Replies...
Carlos Moreno 2 years ago
I don't speak to my parents anymore, they don't understand why. Here is why: they used to beat me up with thr belt buckle, my dad used to arrive drunk every Wednesday and make my brother and I fight until one of us bled, they used to tie us together on the balcony if we misbehaved, they once put In a chicken cage as a punishment for hours because I was chasing chickens at age 6. Used to go to restaurants and whenever they paid, they made me use the restroom before we left, and twice they left me in the restaurant and went home as a practical joke, so had to walk couple of miles home (it doesn't sound as bad, but I was around 7 or 8 and I lived in Caracas, one of the most dangerous cities of the world).
Becky Moore 2 years ago
It does sound bad! Even if someone did that to me as an adult I would be traumatized!
Load More Replies...
Kate Fowler 2 years ago
To Everyone who contributed here..I'm not sure what to say coherently.. thank you for sharing.
XenoMurph 2 years ago
You have empathy, and reading them won;t help the victim, so why put yourself through the trauma? But we can help people around us who are going through it now. Which is where your empathy probably comes in handy.
Load More Replies... Montanavanna 2 years ago
My brother was 5 and I was 3 when we snuck out of bed after our parents left us with a sitter. He had to show me something. Pulls a gun from under parent's mattress. Loaded, safety off. He says it is his toy gun that was taken away. I said nope, that looks nothing like it. He then lifts it up and point in my direction then..BAM! lucky for me a 5 year old is a s**t shot..
A Dorkable 2 years ago
All I can say is these stories are the number one reason abortion should be legal, affordable and accessible.
R Dennis 2 years ago
I couldn't get past the first two... I try not to share my trauma too much, maybe on the surface but never the depths of it. Reading these feels like being a trauma tourist and I just can't... I have my own trauma carnival to manage... hopefully sharing it brings them some relief though.
Lauren Wilder 2 years ago (edited)
This post was heavy. But if these are your truths, let it be. Talk to a professional. Be free of the past. I hope you live a happy life.
DB 2 years ago
Mine has to be the time I called the police because my mother was beating my brother. She was sitting on the edge of her bed with him kneeling in front of her. She was holding a high-heeled shoe (by the heel part) and whenever he gave her an answer she didn't like concerning whatever it was she was asking him she would smack him in the head with the shoe. When the cop arrived both my mother and my brother denied everything although it was clear from the red marks on my brother's face that she was lying. After the cop left she beat the hell out of me. From that day on I just took the abuse because it was obvious no authority figure was ever going to believe me. My brother changed after that. He grew darker and angrier. Got in a lot of trouble. Quit school. Eventually went to prison twice and was dishonorably discharged from the Army and is a registered sex offender. I often wonder if his life, and mine, would have turned out differently had that cop actually believed me.
Stardust she/her 2 years ago
I used to be beaten up a lot after we moved to India and my dad used to beat me until last year. I remember once I was dangled off a 4 storey balcony and once my dad lifted me by the neck to the ceiling
Tamra 2 years ago
Star...you said "until last year"...does that mean he's stopped? Is there any safe adult you can turn to? Anyone at all? This breaks my heart.
Load More Replies... Carlos Moreno 2 years ago
I don't speak to my parents anymore, they don't understand why. Here is why: they used to beat me up with thr belt buckle, my dad used to arrive drunk every Wednesday and make my brother and I fight until one of us bled, they used to tie us together on the balcony if we misbehaved, they once put In a chicken cage as a punishment for hours because I was chasing chickens at age 6. Used to go to restaurants and whenever they paid, they made me use the restroom before we left, and twice they left me in the restaurant and went home as a practical joke, so had to walk couple of miles home (it doesn't sound as bad, but I was around 7 or 8 and I lived in Caracas, one of the most dangerous cities of the world).
Becky Moore 2 years ago
It does sound bad! Even if someone did that to me as an adult I would be traumatized!
Load More Replies... Kate Fowler 2 years ago
To Everyone who contributed here..I'm not sure what to say coherently.. thank you for sharing.
XenoMurph 2 years ago
You have empathy, and reading them won;t help the victim, so why put yourself through the trauma? But we can help people around us who are going through it now. Which is where your empathy probably comes in handy.
Load More Replies... Montanavanna 2 years ago
My brother was 5 and I was 3 when we snuck out of bed after our parents left us with a sitter. He had to show me something. Pulls a gun from under parent's mattress. Loaded, safety off. He says it is his toy gun that was taken away. I said nope, that looks nothing like it. He then lifts it up and point in my direction then..BAM! lucky for me a 5 year old is a s**t shot..
A Dorkable 2 years ago
All I can say is these stories are the number one reason abortion should be legal, affordable and accessible.
R Dennis 2 years ago
I couldn't get past the first two... I try not to share my trauma too much, maybe on the surface but never the depths of it. Reading these feels like being a trauma tourist and I just can't... I have my own trauma carnival to manage... hopefully sharing it brings them some relief though.
Lauren Wilder 2 years ago (edited)
This post was heavy. But if these are your truths, let it be. Talk to a professional. Be free of the past. I hope you live a happy life.
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