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Have you ever scrolled through your social media feeds and seen something that made you go "story of my life"? - well, there is now a series of books dedicated to these relatable everyday problems. The @storyofmyfuckinglife Instagram account is a page of cartoon drawings of book titles that tell the stories of the funny problems we all share.
While each of these interesting books has no contents on the inside, the brief titles tell hilarious, embarrassing, and everyday stories using only a few sentences. From the panic, we have all felt from trying to get home on an empty gas tank to trying to change your life with a haircut to the realization that no matter how many New Year's resolutions you make, your life is still in shambles. Scroll down below to check out these bittersweet yet funny comments, and don't forget to upvote your favs!
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Fishing the box out of the trash because I didn't read the directions before throwing it away - A cookbook
Kaisu Rei 6 years ago (edited)
Then throwing it out again, only to realise you don't remember the directions you just read and then needing to fish the box out once more
NurAkmar Almahdi 6 years ago
OMG... never thought they are so many alike. I agree with Kaisu Rei. I fished it out... read... felt confidence enough... then before I even stepped away, I doubted myself and the cycle began... Muahahaha...
RELATED:
#2
Hypothetical arguments I've won in the shower - vol 1 of 16
Kiss Army 6 years ago
It's even worse when this happens as you are trying, unsuccessfully, to fall asleep.
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PandaLover 6 years ago
I can always win an argument in the shower. And I try to remember all of the brilliant points I made up for someday when I actually need them. Except when the day comes I forget everything until I'm in the shower again.
Paula Hannon 6 years ago
Now I've just realised why people with depression find it hard to have a shower in the morning. It's a place where you have to think and ruminate, nothing else to do.
C Hypercube 6 years ago
Glad to see I'm not the only one. I also have an extensive volume collection of hypothetical ways of quitting my job like a boss, also mind written in the shower or trying to fall asleep. Still, when I finally quit, it was a new and unexpected scenario.
Gracie Mae 6 years ago
mine aren't so much arguments as much as they are saying what i really WANTED to say instead of smiling and keeping the peace. i won't argue with certain people because it's pointless, but i still have to 'get it all out there' even if it's just me listening to it!
#3
Today I waited inside my apartment because I could hear my neighbor unlocking her door and I didn't want to make small talk
Quitterie Ruokonen 6 years ago
Well, you're Finnish... 5 millions people do the same every day.
Sonia Górnicz 6 years ago
o gosh and i thought i am the only one who is socially awkward sometimes lol, i sometimes stay in my room until my roommate leaves or goes to her bedroom cause i don;t feel like talking #iamwithyou
María Hermida 6 years ago
There's a second volume: today I went for a walk around the block because I saw my neighbour entering the building and I didn't want to share the lift with him/her.
Jus 6 years ago
I pretended I didn't see my handsome neighbor standing behind me in the line in the shop because I wanted to avoid small talk and because my face was too red. Then I run away just before entering a lift, in front of him, because I was too abashed to ride together. So yes, this is my book, too.
Mare Freed 6 years ago
This is me. Also, going to the other end of the crowded subway car before that acquaintance spots me.
#4
Sleeping until noon every day so I only have to pay for 2 meals: how to turn your depression into profit
Justine P. 6 years ago
I'm a night owl and I hate that sometimes I stay up so late I need a fourth meal n
Cherie Perisian 6 years ago
When I was dead broke my brother told me to drink a lot of water and go to sleep. A great plan for avoiding hunger
Major Houlihan Bear 6 years ago
You dummies-its actually so much healthier to eat only twice a day. So actually you are doing the right thing! Ask Sadhguru!
#5
I feel like I'm already tired tomorrow - A memoir
Alex Grosdanofski 6 years ago
I know these are funny..but this one reminds me of the definition of depression.
BoredDragonfly 6 years ago
This is my life. Living with 2 chronic illnesses. Not being able to work or study and having to spend 90-95% of the day in bed. I do however make the most out of every single day. The few days -sometimes just one or two- a month when I do have energy (for a day or just a few hours), to go outside and do something fun (even grocery shopping can be nice in this case), are the best days! Although these days when I do something fun will make me bedridden (97% chance) for days/weeks. Or sometimes a month or more, if it triggered an excruciatingly painful tremor-episode. The “energy-days” as I call them are the best days!! Despite having a huge lack of energy 24/7, (even on my energy-days): I am genuinely happy approximately 360-363 days out of the year :-). Life is too short but oh so beautiful and precious! *heart-emoji* P.s. sorry for possible bad spelling/grammar, English is not my first language. Feel free to correct me!
#6
Philosophy's great questions: are they mad at me or have I created another problem for myself that only exists in my head?
Jodi Ellis 6 years ago
I have tried to just ask them what is up? It is hard, because we do not always want to hear the answers.
Mare Freed 6 years ago
After decades of sometimes having that feeling, I've learned that most of the time I'm not wrong, and the other person actually does have an issue with me. They're not always mad, but the perceived tension is genuinely there and not just imagined.
#7
Am I hungry or just bored?
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
Bored, every time. If only I could find a hobby I love as much as food. Knitting releases not one endorphin.
#8
Googling a phone number that called me to try and figure out who it was instead of just answering it like an adult
April Simnel 6 years ago
I do this, and most of those numbers turn out to be from scammers. There's nothing wrong with doing this.
Hans 6 years ago
Well, as an adult you might just act wisely and not answer any more of these friggin scam and phone-advertising calls.
diane a 6 years ago (edited)
I answer the cold calls/telemarketing ones eventually as get fed up - tell them an not interested and request the take me off their database. Otherwise they just call and call. Really annoys me if I am expecting a call, rush to get my phone and it is just some number from a city I don't know anyone. Here in the UK they seem to have changed regulations so a number has to show up as a area code and town/city, (even if it counds like a foreign call centre) Doesnt seem to come up as "withheld number" any more.
Load More Replies... Jodi Ellis 6 years ago
I have answered these calls to be met with silence on the other end and then an automated system. I block them afterwards.
diane a 6 years ago
Those are just a pain. You cant even tell them to go to hell . Or the ones that are just automated messages.
Load More Replies... Johnny 6 years ago
If you answer a spam call, you get added to a list of live numbers, so you can expect many more calls. I've completely stopped answering calls from numbers that aren't in my contacts.
diane a 6 years ago (edited)
Last week I had 6 calls from the same UK number in 2 days - answered aventually. Was someone telling me my washing machine warranty had just expired and did I want to renew. Curious, as my machine is at least 10 years old, belongs to my landlord, and was here 5 years before I even moved in. How do they assiciate my mobile number and name with an old washing machine I dont even own? As a rulel I only answer mobile numbers (even if not in contacts) and calls from my local area dialling code.
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Amanda Ford 6 years ago
I can't stand it when they call and call, but they never leave a message.
Daria B 6 years ago
A few days ago, I missed a call from an unknown phone number. I saw they tried to call me 2 times, so I assumed it was important. I called back, "hello? I saw you called me? How can I help you?" - "Oh..." the voice said, "I'm sorry, I actually dialed the wrong number." Ehehehe, yeah, it happens.
Stormapotamus 6 years ago
I only answer my phone if its my husband, best friend, or mom. I even screen phone calls from work. I haaaaaaaate being on the phone.
#9
I can't get through a 3 paragraph work email but I'll watch a 7 minute video of a puppy with the hiccups
Mae Mosse 6 years ago
My dog and cat both used to have hiccups and it was cute.
Load More Replies... Vic 6 years ago
It would be so much better if they also posted the link to the video of puppies with hiccups.
Jenny McKellar 6 years ago
I honestly had a hard time getting through reading that whole title
meow point1 6 years ago
Was that a reference to the movie Up or a comment on squirrels also being cute, distracting animals?
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#10
Great mysteries of our time: I said something out loud 3 days ago and now I'm seeing ads for it on Facebook
Xandra 6 years ago
We had this exact conversation at work today! Believe me, it happens, and it's creepy! We decided we must have a friendly office ghost searching the internet for stuff (adapter cables in this instance...)
ksskskkss 6 years ago
Nope, it's just Google listening to our conversations. My mom injured her knee and got a knee brace, and a bit after talking about it got a phone call mentioning that her knee brace was medically approved.
Load More Replies... Flash Henry 6 years ago
And all these years everyone said I was nuts for covering up all the cameras and microphones on my computers....
Flavia Slag 6 years ago
I cover the cameras butc didn't think about the mics...: 0
Load More Replies... Grumble O'Pug 6 years ago
I was cynical of this until about 4 months ago this happened. Never searched for it. Still kind of hinky feeling about it. Dang.
Sue Prewitt 6 years ago
This happened to me . Yesterday I was talking about Fancy Feast cat food on the phone and since then, I have seen 4 ads for it on FB
Mare Freed 6 years ago
Yep. This week I mentioned out loud the Vermont Country Store in a work meeting. An hour later, there was a Facebook ad for the Vermont Country Store. I had NEVER seen one in me Facebook feed before, nor had I typed it anywhere online for 4 or 5 years.
Load More Replies... Jodi Ellis 6 years ago
Heard this conspiracy theory! Apple phones or Echos are recording everything we say.
Magpie 6 years ago
But they are, or they would not "know when to wake up"
Load More Replies... meow point1 6 years ago
This reminds me of a funny incident: my parents were talking about something Greek and then my mother started getting ads for trips to Greece. She thought maybe her computer could hear what we were saying, so we started saying, "Banana rollerskates" to test it, but got nothing.
Amr Mohamed 6 years ago
I think it's because no one is paying for ads for banana rollerskates. But talk about buying a new car a few times, then watch those ads change!
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Captain Marvellous ♥️ 6 years ago
Sometimes I'll chat with my brother about a youtube channel/video he likes and then hours later it will show up in my feed...it's happened twice now, extremely creepy.
Richard Gregory 6 years ago
This one is absolutely true!! I'm a recovering alcoholic, I don't Google it a lot but I certainly talk about it a fair bit and I have endless ads about quitting drinking and stuff. Big Brother is always watching you!
#11
Introduction to budgeting - I'm too old for Christmas money from my relatives but I need it more now then when I was 13
Dani 6 years ago (edited)
... I’m 13 so I guess this means I better start hoarding my Christmas money.
Toe beans 6 years ago
I’m almost 15 and I only get 30 bucks for christmas and have to last it all year
Kip The Otter 6 years ago
I am 14 and I saved up $317 with my brother that we promptly spent on a VR headset.
Isabel Care 6 years ago
I have one Aunt that still sends money to the poorer of us relatives in our fifties, thankfully
DancingToMyself 6 years ago
I always give money away (Xmas, birthdays...) because it seems that I spoilt my family, even the older ones. But I don't mind, and I also hate shopping.
#12
My uncle used to ruin Thanksgiving with his drinking but now he's found Jesus and ruins it with that. And other holiday reflections
Isabel Care 6 years ago
I used to pretend to drink alcohol in front of a rabidly tea total relative, just so she wouldn't tell me how pleased God would be because I don't drink. (Alcohol itself tastes foul and spoils the flavour of anything it's in.) Guess who was the designated driver of the family?
#13
"Over-Explaining everything because I'm afraid of not making sense or people thinking I'm dumb"
Daria B 6 years ago (edited)
Guilty as charged. ♥ The funny thing is, they lose their focus before you reach the point, so they eventually fail to understand what you tried to say.
PipsqueakTheCatBlob 6 years ago
Maybe they were distracted by a puppy with the hiccups?
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#14
2017, 2018, 2019 is going to be the year I get my life together - a memoir
Eliška Hůlková 6 years ago
That's not how it works. You have to make even small difference every day, if you wanna change your life.
DancingToMyself 6 years ago
Stop being so reasonable! It's so childish. Xd
Load More Replies... #15
On paper, I'm an adult, a guide to acting like you've got your sh*t together
Paul K. Johnson 6 years ago
Pay your bills and show up for work. After that you can be whoever you want. Being an adult is way over-rated.
Bonus Pandas 6 years ago
Chlorine by Twenty One Pilots? The lyrics is much more deep than you think ;)
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egracec 6 years ago
If you haven't had a problem with it then you were probably brought up with work ethics and common sense, a LOT of people these days don't have that and could use this guide since they weren't taught either.
Load More Replies... #16
Said "looks great, thank you so much!" and still tipped generously after getting a terrible haircut - a collection of times I didn't stand up for myself
Kaisu Rei 6 years ago
Me, I never ever tell anyone if I'm unsatisfied with a service I've gotten because of my social anxiety
PandaPiñata 6 years ago
Standing up for yourself is probably not something you are used to do, hence the social anxiety. I´ve been there many years ago. Understanding that no matter how much effort you are putting into it, not every person on this planet will like you. And thats OKAY. You don´t love every person either. Know that if you tell somebody that you are not satisfied, it´s most likely they won´t go home crying all night. The first time you tell someone that you are not satisfied, you will probably feel like you have been very harsh and rude afterwards. I doubt the person even registered your complaint, because when you think you are raising hell, that is just not true. Being such a gentle person is great as long as you don´t forget about yourself. I wish you the best of luck on your journey. As I stated earlier I´ve been there too. Getting over social anxiety is one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself.
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Amanda Ferraz 6 years ago
So true, I left a hairdresser that did my hair for over 12 years after she made me look a MESS. I have tons of hair also voluminous AF. I faced a "pixie" and a "Chanel" cut without issue, only saying it would grow (from the obvious helmets I got). She made something that my hair was in the middle of my back but looked hideous, like a bad mixture of Hagrid, early Hermione and a porcupine. Had to cut again, to my shoulder (started way below my waist) and live blowdrying (I hate heat near my hair, even while in freezing cold I didn't wash with warm water)
Load More Replies... PipsqueakTheCatBlob 6 years ago
Why is the book so thin though? I’m only 13 and it should be at least 450 pages long, and spaced out like a dictionary.
Catlady6000 6 years ago
"....or, Reasons Why I Now Cut My Own &$@? Hair and Change My Own $&@! Oil!!!!"
Bonus Pandas 6 years ago
People are really telling to the hairdresser their hair looks bad... Lol I always smile and thank even if the hairdresser did a terrible job
#17
Remedial Math - Telling myself "whatever its only $5" the 10,000 times X I've said that = over $50,000
Paul K. Johnson 6 years ago
Or splitting your big Amazon order into several smaller orders over the next few days so it doesn't seem like you're spending as much.
Phyllis Naumann 6 years ago
Or buying 35 items at the dollar store because “it’s only a dollar”
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Nostalgic Hyena 6 years ago
The amount of times I've said this has probably costed me about 10000 dollars at this point.
#18
I'd be so f**king healthy if I cooked all the groceries I buy instead of letting them rot while I order take out every night. A memoir
Catlady6000 6 years ago
Alternate title: I would have so much more money if I just stopped buying groceries that are going to rot in my frig when I know I'm just going to have delivery
Mare Freed 6 years ago
This is the the most validating BP I've ever read. I don't feel like the worst person on earth anymore. Only in the bottom 10%, and I'm absolutely fine with that.
#19
My resume - special skills, putting trash in an already full trashcan without anything spilling out
#20
Don't say a word to me and I'll give you 5 stars, a mandatory Uber driving training manual
Caroline Murphy 6 years ago
I don't start conversations, but if they start saying something to me I always end up having a conversation with them lasting the whole journey
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 6 years ago
Uber should allow you to pick your preference. I would click the shhh option every time.
Crouching_Penn_Hidden_Teller@yahoo.com 6 years ago
the uber drivers I've had always know when I'm not in the mood to talk and respect that
CultOfBambi 6 years ago
London Uber drivers are awesome - I've had many interesting conversations with people from all over the world.
cleverrapier 6 years ago
Alternate title: Only Talk If They Talk: the training manual for Uber drivers
#21
Smart investing made easy. How Having no money to invest makes investment choices incredibly easy
#22
Why did I do that? A novel by me with guest appearance by a fifth glass of wine when I was already pretty drunk at two
Lu 6 years ago
Some dinner tables demand to be danced on...wine be damned
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#23
"Per my last email". And other phrases for being petty in work emails while also maintaining an air of professionalism
Kaisu Rei 6 years ago
My professor always tells me "per my last email" is actually kind of rude because it's like "in case you can't read or have a s**t memory, let me remind you"
Aria Whitaker 6 years ago
You know what else is "rude"? NOT reading important emails, then having that person have to constantly repeat themselves and write the EXACT SAME EMAIL again.... when they have actual WORK to do....
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#24
Even if I get an "A" I'm not going to get a job when I graduate, how to overcome finals anxiety by accepting that they don't matter
Kaisu Rei 6 years ago
In many subjects exams just test your memory, not your actual intelligence or competence
PeachPossum 6 years ago
Yes, it better prepares you for the hour-long presentations and pop quizzes involving corporate policy...
Load More Replies... Kjorn 6 years ago
or just study in someting you can find a job. and not in Art History. Capture-5c...749d2f.jpg 
Lola DM 6 years ago
Youth unemployment exists among mechanical engineers, you know
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Catherine Chan 6 years ago (edited)
Me, a final year poastgrad student click upvote 3 times :P
#25
The big book of facts I tell everyone I read somewhere but really I heard someone say it on a podcast and it might not even be true
released kraken 6 years ago
Alternative title: the book of facts i said i read somewhere while i know exactly where i heard it but don't want people to know where i heard it
Lu 6 years ago
I’ve read all of Shakespeare, including his unknown works. The unknown works are easy to talk about
meow point1 6 years ago
There are these pads (like sanitary pads) I get that have interesting facts on the wrapper, and I'm shy to tell others because they might ask where I got the info from.
Kip The Otter 6 years ago
I so do this. I will read an article (probably not true) then proceed to say that I read it in a Scholastic article, if they ask why they can't find the article I immediately say "Oh they must have taken it down."
fruit_panda 6 years ago
I'm a librarian and always find it interesting how we as a society tend to trust what's in books more than any other media. Books are not necessarily more reliable than a podcast or a magazine.
Jodi Ellis 6 years ago
The internet is always correct and should never be suggested that it is not, said my 13 year old
#26
Learning to live with a loved one who is one of those people who stands up as soon as the plane lands
Tomáš Hluska 6 years ago
There's nothing wrong with getting up before train approaches the station. The train is not going to wait in the station and if you're not at the door, people will start getting in so it will be even more crowded. Nothing of that applies to aircrafts.
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Wietse Pot 6 years ago
I'm one of those people who gets up in a plane as soon as it's allowed because I'm 6 ft 6 and can't wait to be able to stretch my legs again. On longer flights I usually stand most of the way since airplanes are one of the few places where standing is actually more comfortable for me then sitting.
- 6 years ago
That must hurt. I'm 5'7 (tall for a girl, but not nearly as tall as you) and it's painful on long flights. I respect you so much.
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Ben Steinberg 6 years ago
Okay...one, I stand-up because I'm tired of sitting in that little cramped space, and two I get anxious about the whole process and standing up helps a little.
Meowton Mewsk 6 years ago
You spread your anxiety like that. Staying seated is much more relaxing for you and others.
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Maria Ines Molina 6 years ago
I feel so lucky I don't have to. This and not liking animals/not wanting to have pets are complete dealbreakers for me
Justine P. 6 years ago
OMG I don't get it! It takes at least 20 minutes to deplane. Sit down! Lol.
Meowton Mewsk 6 years ago
It’s you who wouldn’t like it though? Everyone else knows they can’t go anywhere, while you’re stuck standing thinking you’ll be able to get out.
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Victor Manteca Hierro 6 years ago
It's harder living with one of those who does not stand up until the train is about to leave.
#27
Tales of self-sabotage - I didn't get gas on the way home from work last night
SOMFL 6 years ago
Yes. I realized that after I'd drawn it and was just too lazy to fix :)
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Melinda Nicole 6 years ago
I do this way too much, I will be on E when I get home and I tell myself I will leave earlier in the morning. Of course I forget I am out of gas, and I am cold so I don't want to stop and get gas. So I press my luck and decide I will do it when I get to my destination. But I haven't ran out of gas for 4 yrs.
Meowton Mewsk 6 years ago
I would like to be prominently featured in this book because it really is the “story of my life”
Melinda Nicole 6 years ago
I have a ford and empty is on the left and it was like that on my Honda as well. It's strange that I never noticed that it's different in other cars
Load More Replies... #28
New haircuts and other ways not to actually deal with the issue affecting your life right now
Bunny Lady 6 years ago
Gosh! I thought the haircut thing was only me! I'm not so strange after all!
#29
This glass of water is literally the best thing I've ever had & other signs you don't take care of your body
Oliver Prime 6 years ago
Always a thing though. If you feel a bit wonky, drink some water. You'll be amazed how much better it can make you feel.
Sheila Weila 6 years ago
If you have a headache, before reaching for the pill bottle, drink a full glass of water!
#30
Rob Williams 6 years ago
Ever noticed how you can be bursting until you get to the loo but then can't fart to save your life?
Frank Enstein 6 years ago
I don't have that problem. I can always fart. Anytime, anywhere, anyway.
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Mama Panda 6 years ago
I learned early on to not hold on to them. On my first date with my now hubby, I let one rip and it was a bad one too. He laughed, I laughed and he let one go himself. He said he had a horrible tummy ache from holding it in for so long. I told him that is one thing I refuse to do and I didn't care if it was lady like or not. We have been together for 11 years and happily married for 8 of those years. We own stock in Glade tho hahahaha
Giacomo Medici 6 years ago
all depends on the previous nights supper.. secret is to eat light night before.. definitely no beans or broccoli..
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What do you think ?
Ben Steinberg 6 years ago
Several of these are being turned into film and the producers keep calling me to star in them...
Aileen 6 years ago (edited)
I bet they know that it would be so easy for you to get into character. :)
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 6 years ago
My book cover: How I know I have to be there at 3:00 but I don't get in the shower until 2:15.
Mark Fuller 6 years ago
Oh god. I've never felt more normal in my life. I epitomise every one!!!
Christina Fern 6 years ago
So funny i love every one. You Have an incredible sense of humor and i cant wait to read more.
Living_Shadow 6 years ago
Story of my life: Having no real friends and always being the option, a series in the making forever
Ben Steinberg 6 years ago
Several of these are being turned into film and the producers keep calling me to star in them...
Aileen 6 years ago (edited)
I bet they know that it would be so easy for you to get into character. :)
Load More Replies... tuzdayschild 6 years ago
My book cover: How I know I have to be there at 3:00 but I don't get in the shower until 2:15.
Mark Fuller 6 years ago
Oh god. I've never felt more normal in my life. I epitomise every one!!!
Christina Fern 6 years ago
So funny i love every one. You Have an incredible sense of humor and i cant wait to read more.
Living_Shadow 6 years ago
Story of my life: Having no real friends and always being the option, a series in the making forever
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