10 throw pillows on the couch and 15 on the bed. A dozen healthy plants scattered around the living room and trinkets and knick-knacks lining every shelf. The scent of a fresh, lemon candle burning in the entryway and banana bread baking in the oven. Does this sound like a bachelor pad to you?
Men and women are not monoliths, and there are plenty of guys who have cozy, welcoming homes. But there are also some men out there whose living spaces benefited greatly from “a woman’s touch,” so they've recently been sharing their experiences on Reddit. Below, you’ll find a variety of the ways having a woman move in transformed these guys’ homes, so enjoy reading these amusing responses and upvoting any you can relate to. And keep reading to find a conversation with home design expert Melanie Boyden of Melanie Jade Design!
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I came home once from work. She’d made an awesome dinner. Put cut up strawberries in the salad.
Strawberries guys. It was game over.
Been married nine years now and she’s still doing everything on a strawberries-in-the-salad level.
Water glasses everywhere, bathrooms are now a disaster, lost my race tire storage room, and there's a cat, dog, and 4yr old running around now. (The last one is half my fault). Totally worth it, she's the best thing that's ever happened to me.
She changed the sheets. Like, what is this? Buckingham Palace?
To learn more about the impact a woman's touch can have on a bachelor pad, we reached out to Melanie Boyden, creator of Melanie Jade Design. We were curious what differences the expert has observed between spaces that are occupied by single men and single women. "I am constantly looking at homes, reading about them in magazines, and helping people design their own spaces," Melanie shared.
"The main differences I have observed are en tend to gravitate towards neutral colours like blacks, greys, and browns with maybe a bold accent thrown in. They also prefer low-maintenance, durable and straightforward materials like leather, metal and dark wood," the design expert explained. "Women lean more towards a broader and sometimes more colorful palette, incorporating pastels, earth tones, or jewel tones more frequently. They might opt for a mix of textures like velvets, faux furs, and soft linens and go for a layered look. They also seem to be more open to adding plants and artwork into their homes."
She always gets vanilla candles and now this house always smells like a bakery and GOD DAMMIT I LOVE IT
She replaced my cardboard box with an end table. Unnecessarily.
A friend of mine -who grew up with his dad and two brothers- told me they found out his dad had a girlfriend when suddenly a candle appeared in the livingroom out of nowhere.
While Melanie notes that bachelor pads can be very stylish, she's noticed that they tend to miss elements that would enhance the comfort and appearance of their home. "Rooms can be a bit sparse and lacking items like layered lighting (floor and table lamps), softer textures like a plush rug or a blanket on their leather sofa (which can be cold and feel steril)," she explained. "And think about the walls! Does it need more personal artwork? A mirror? Most definitely a plant or two."
Worked on a ship when a female cook-steward started working there, before the crew were all male.
Within a couple of days the mess and galley were transformed. Tablecloths, curtains, coasters, it was really all new, the galley became a water-cooler kinda place where you always could go to have a chat and get a snack, the galley always smelled of cooking and she was listening to her radio. It was a real game changer from the former grumpy guy and sterile setting. Our skipper loved it.
My formerly pristine white walls suddenly had art on them.
My front door grew a doormat.
My bathroom got a wicker basket with cheesy slogans on the interior lining. "Home is where the heart is" and other such remarkable sayings.
The walls in my shower now contain, what I can only assume is also decorative in intent, long strands of hair.
The drain needs regular cleaning because it, too, is full of long hairs.
The kitchen is always clean and I have 12 different glasses for all kinds of beverages. And 8 cups for variations of coffee and soups.
The fridge keeps track of all the cards we received. Since she moved in, those are many. Before her, I received none.
So glad I have fine hair 😅 It’s thick as hell but baby fine and I’ve honestly never had an issue with hair in the shower *knocks on wood*
She stopped me from almost burning down my apartment when she pulled an entire stuffed animal worth of lint out of my drier. I didn't know that was a thing.
As far as how couples can work together to create a space that feels like home for both of them, Melanie says the key is communication. "Before making any design decisions, couples need to discuss what they like and don't like and compromise. They need to start by taking an inventory of their belongings and deciding what will stay and what needs to go, as no one likes living in a cluttered home (and this can lead to arguments)," the expert notes.
She made a raised flower bed in my backyard and planted a nice little vegetable garden.
Aww everyone should have a veggie garden! I don’t have the room or yard but I regrow my green onions/lettuces/herbs/celery on my apartment window sill in lil reused pasta sauce jars with a lil water :)
My bed was a mattress in the floor for like 5 years, she bought a bed frame. Married her
That's the ONLY thing I still miss after 17 years: sleeping on a mattress on the floor. While I agree that a bed looks much better, don't ask me why, I just sleep so much better on the floor.
I work in a male dominated industry, and in a smaller office the women were the reason for the kitchen being clean, there being cake and cookies on birthdays or just for fun, for team picnics and fun activities being had.
And finally bring on a team with a 50/50 gender ratio, the men even picked up on some of it, especially in terms of emotional ques. Compliments on a haircut, checking in when someone seemed down, a little 5-7 or gift when someone achieved something or like, had a baby.
My own little women team were so close, none if us wirk together anymore, but we still talk all the time, we'd vompliment each other, tell each other we love them, always help one out.
Emotional labour of women in companies is HUGE
"The couple will probably have their own unique style, so it is important to find a way to blend these styles together, such as mid-century modern or transitional design. Also, if room allows, it is important for each person to have a little personal space, even if it's a corner or a nook," Melanie says.
"Finally, consider neutral colours as this can act as a blank canvas, allowing both people to accessorise with their own items. If they do need to shop for the person moving in, make sure they shop together," the expert added. "That way, they can both voice opinions and find items that resonate with both."
For myself, it is scented hand soaps. As a bachelor, I got whatever orange-looking cheapo bottle I could get. My girlfriend/wife moves in and loads up on bakery-scented hand soaps in the bathrooms. One day, when I got home, I told her we had to have a serious adult discussion. 'What scent to pick out next?' To this day, 'serious adult discussion' is code for 'Out of soap. What should we use next?'
You ever play a game you think you're doing pretty well with. I fought the minions. I explored the castle. I beat the boss. I saved the princess. I did all the stuff. I succeeded. I beat the game. In this analogy, I cooked, I vacuumed, I did laundry, I dusted here and there, and overall took good care of my home. I own my own little place, and I did what I could to make an old place look at least lived in and comfortable and clean. I organized it to the best of my own ability, taking time to map out the rooms and layout and all that. I really felt like I'd done a decent job. Friends often told me "I feel at home in your home." A girl I'd never met was the +1 of a dear friend for a New Year's party I hosted coming into 2020 (ah, innocent times) who told me she felt safe enough to have someone else make her drink for her at my party. That was an incredible compliment. I did the thing, ya know?
Then I met my fiance. She's finishing a degree in interior design, and when she moved in, worked with me (fully cooperative and communicated) to change the decor and layout of the house. Literally no issue whatsoever. Bachelor pad and "home we will share together" are dramatically different looks. Keep that in mind, fellas. It isn't YOUR way anymore. You blend and compromise and grow.
Anyway, wow.
My house looks so much nicer. Like, I thought I knew how to play this game. I beat the boss, lol. But man. She came in with the up up down down combo breaker b******t and turned my house into a home. We repainted the living room, kitchen, bathroom, bedroom. We've changed decor. We've added pictures and rugs and lights. I dunno, man. My house doesn't look like "MY" house anymore because of her... It looks so much better. We work really well together because we're both understanding that this is a home we SHARE, and so there are influences of my style, her style, all that. The office where I work was basically 100% my design because I'm the one primarily there. She wanted to do a room for herself, and we decided on the bedroom. We both felt fulfilled, respected, and heard. I know some guys don't like the idea of the lady's touch. Those guys either have ladies who don't listen to them or they don't listen to their ladies, because this whole mutual respect thing really worked out well for me, at least.
10/10, I advise getting yourself one of them there "lady's touch" designer gals. Mine is top notch :)
She's a keeper and the thankfully and respectfully way you speak about her, you are a keeper too.
A warmth and happiness I didn’t know I was missing and CERTAINLY didn’t know how to cultivate. Art, glassware style unity, refrigerator organization, multiple sets of sheets…
The list goes on. A million little touches that compile a happy home
"The best thing to do is to try and be respectful of each other's design choices," Melanie told Bored Panda. "It is really not worth fighting over an additional cushion on the sofa, or the boyfriend keeping his favorite painting of his childhood pet on the wall. And above all, communicate."
If you'd like to hear more words of wisdom and design tips from the expert, be sure to visit her website Melanie Jade Design!
I couldn’t keep my motorcycle in the living room or my tools and parts in the kitchen cabinets anymore
Apparently I am supposed to have pictures of my loved ones in my house. Who knew?
My wife still tells the story. We've been together for 6 yrs. She said that when she first saw my place she immediately had fratboy/treehouse vibe to it. Bare room, Non-matching furniture. Nothing on the wall. She added pictures on the wall, made the balcony nicer and organized my kitchen so everything is easily accessible. When we moved into our house, she organized everything. Things did change a little after living in it for a year. She did realize how I wanted my kitchen (primary cook). I ended up putting stuff where I wanted it, so she made changes. I absolutely love our house now. We have friends come and hang out atleast twice a month. We've cooked and entertained for as many as 15 people, and it turned out great. Highly recommend a woman's touch to your treehouse/prison cell decor.
Pictures, curtains, cushions. Little tables to put your drinks on. Coasters! So much stuff, bless her.
When I rented a house with my brother, my mom came over and told me "honey (which is the word that prefaced each time you were supposed to pay close attention) you got to have curtains in your house!". In each successive house I've made sure there's curtains, lol! RIP, mom.
My house is plain as f**k. My ex had it looking like a home. Decor/rugs/wall hangings etc etc. It was 10x better. She took it all when she left and I never got around to trying it out myself. I should tho. It really looked so much better.
Towels.
We have shower towels, hair drying towels, bathroom hand towels, kitchen hand towels and certain towels for wiping your mouth and then different towels to clean with
Never try to wipe your hands on the wrong kind of kitchen towel or to wipe up a spill with the wrong towel
Lots of plushies moved in with her, some of them now sleep on the bed.
I admittedly have a lot of plushies, but anyone who I have shared a bed with has always made sure I'm tucked in with one, and then proceeds to steal it to cuddle with themselves when they go to bed.
It was bare, terrible feng shui, random clutter, no decorations, no plants, dusty, bed mostly unmade. I had a massive wrap around couch in my bedroom that I salvaged from the street, which was quickly relocated.
Endless candles. New cooking utensils I’d never seen before in my life and didn’t know how to use. Toilet roll that used to last me years now lasts months. I eat more healthily, drink less, go on nice trips more. Generally massive improvements with minor drawbacks.
9/10 recommend.
Different sizes of tea cups. I used to just make tea in a ceramic 1L beer stein.
my messy fridge turned into a very clean and organized *refrigeratohr*
We now have, without exaggeration, 15 end tables in the house. 4 more in the attic just in case.
To be fair, you can use end tables for so many activities. Can never have enough.
Lotions. For different seasons. She has a method to which ones she uses when. And they’re not cheap either.
Isn't it weird that men don't have to use any, but women have to use lots? It's almost as if they beauty industry has its hands around around women's throats.
I think for me the biggest difference is having a more well-stuffed fridge, and just in general having more fresh food and a more varied and healthy diet compared to when single. When living alone I just mostly stocked up on the bare minimum when it came to food, and could have the same type of meal for several days in a row.
I have actually always been very much into decorating and flowers and such - perhaps more so than my partner - so that part didn't really change much.
Soooooo empty. My finance and the owner were bros. When I arrived, we got groceries for the fridge portion, not just nuggs and pizza for the frozen. Owner dude would just walk into our place (his was a good 300m from ours), saying, "OMG...what is that smell...it's amazing!", so I had to placate two men at dinnertime....
There’s decorations and plants. The bedroom now looks like a human lives in it instead of a bear just using it for hibernation
It looks like a home rather than a place I live with my random things I like everywhere. It’s just put together. It’s not what I would have done but it just makes everything feel stable. There’s this nice a*s rug, throw pillows, shelves arranged certain ways. Idk but it’s nice. It makes me not want to f**k it up and keep it clean
When my last roommate moved in with me, she was the best homemaker - we made a lil painted sign that said “it’s not a whôre house, it’s a whôre home” and we totally had throw rugs. I miss her!
Colour. I used to have just white, black and gray stuff, from clothes to bed sheets. She put color everywhere, I love it
there is nothing worse than colors that don't go together and make your house look like a circus
Plants, lamps, blankets, food, hope.
And many, many shoes.
So, she didn’t move in, but we moved in together to a house I bought.
Everything is ultimately more pleasant. Rooms are thoughtfully designed. The furniture is high-quality and comfortable.
The dishes look good. It’s a pleasure to be in my office. My things are organized. Everything has a place. If I can’t find it, I check the place, and it’s there.
Plus also I got a new cat friend or, honestly, after a week a potential cat friend.
A fridge with shelves, apparely plastic shopping bags sitting on the bottom of a fridge without shelfs is hilarious
I brought in tissue boxes
I then watched a male roommate sneeze, get up, go to the bathroom to grab toilet paper, and bring it back to where he was to blow his nose
The tissue box was right there - when I pointed that out, he said it didn’t even occur to him to use it
Did you know that plates were made of a material other than paper?
Blanket basket. You could have locked me in my apartment for 100 years thinking of upgrades and it would have never even crossed my mind.
She completely redid my bed. It feels like sleeping on a cloud now!
Oh I did this recently! I splurged and bought a new mattress topper and 4 new pillows and new sheets at WalMart. My cats and I feel like princesses, I can’t believe I put this off for years 😊
I stopped storing my winter truck tires in the spare bedroom.
Photos on the wall. She said it was weird I had nothing on the walls but my TV. Within a year about 100 pictures of us, our families and friends were up on the walls.
I still don't get it, but it makes her happy and I don't care so win win?
So we did reverse… I moved into hers.
For context I am a full blown adult. I’ve lived on my own for 17 years. I took great pride throughout my late 20s and into my 30s of not having a “boy” house. I kept it “clean”, I “decorated”, for the most part the soap was refilled…
A week after moving in I learned the difference between a house and a home.
Everything… and I mean everything … has it’s place. The sheet inconvenience of the conveniences brought on from living in adult home is exhausting. Hang this up, move that there, time to rearrange the bins, recycle this, throw out that… about to take a nap? Not with the grass like that we aren’t! Going to sit down? Why don’t we organize the dogs toys by most played with to least.
I will say this though. I’ve lived a life where I answered to no one, was responsible to no one, and did how I pleased… it’s quite lonely.
I’ll take getting yipped about not washing the knives the right way anyday. :)
So many throw pillows. I can't sit on the couch without moving some. And then where am I supposed to put them? I'm ok with decorating, but not when it gets in the way of an object's function.
I don’t understand having more than a couple of cushions. Somebody said on an earlier post that shorter females need them because they’re sitting too far back on the sofas designed for taller people. However, I like curling up / using a footrest and not putting my feet on the ground. So less cushions = more sofa space
My roommates kinda-sorta LD gf would stay with us for weeks at a time and she’d always buy us household stuff that stinky boys and bachelors neglect. Like decorative tissue boxes and foam rubber cozies for the remote, stuff like that. And holiday decor. I made sure to always thank her for “beautifying our home”. My sister who lives with us now is similar, but she’s more into the organizers and containers decluttering thing.
The black accent wall I had in my living room no longer exists. I fought her on changing it. We painted it a regular white and it helped with the natural light. I liked the dark but after seeing how nice it is with light...she was right.
Also got rid of some cheaper looking ikea furniture and replaced it with sturdier, newer looking stuff that worked with the rest of the apartment. Now everything looks nice and like it belongs together.
Also got an actual bed instead of a floor mattress.
Black accent wall could be very classy of everything else there designed to highlight it. There is nothing wrong with white though, but it doesn't mean that her taste is better
Plants. I went from zero to six.
That is a real good story, one of the very few listed in this article
New white sheets, a throw rug and she would cook a couple chickens with sides for me and my roommates. If she didn’t stab me with a pen while I was driving, I’d have married her. Dodged a bullet. In hindsight she came on waaayyy to strong.
This is embarrassing to admit but when my now wife moved in with me I didn’t really use sheets on the bed. She drove across the country to be with me and when she saw my room and the bed with blankets strewn about and no fitted sheet she just started crying. That was 25 years ago. I have since learned. But also just to answer the question these days it’s pillows. There are pillows everywhere. She buys them seasonally and we change them out. I really don’t understand but happy wife a happy life.
Before my wife moved in (girlfriend at that time) I lived with a friend and our flat looked pretty bad, more like a university student flat than anything else. Zero decorations, old furniture from the landlord, horrible cream colour walls, etc. Since we were always at work and barely home it was not a problem for us. Living abroad I always considered it a temporary place and didn't have much attachment to it so didn't want to spend time and money to improve the space.
Once she moved in we slowly started making it into a real home. We painted the walls, bought furniture, plants, hung some photos, bought a cat etc. It made such a huge difference and improved our quality of life tbh
I've always liked cacti and succulents, probably because they were satisfying to have and easy to keep alive, enter my girlfriend who is "obsessed" with plants. I dont live with her but since getting together, all of a sudden I have multiple non succulent plants I never planned on getting
Apparently having a sports tv and a video game tv side by side in the living room is not what adults do
I clean in the sense that I keep a place organized and clutter free, but I’ve never really had an eye for grease and deep-cleaning. My wife is the inverse and we have a well-run house because of it
She made my house feel like a welcoming home.
Oooohhh, can you please borrow her to me just to do the same to my home?
She buys a lot stuff for her many hobbies that only last a week 😂
Tiny ankle socks everywhere. We broke up 7 years ago, and I still occasionally find one in some forgotten corner of the house.
For those saying I haven't deep cleaned, some explanation. After she moved out, I gave away or sold most of my things to get a fresh start, and I realized I only need about half the house. The bedrooms and family room in the basement are basically just storage that I literally might go into twice a year, and I haven't been into one of the bedrooms in about 3 years. For the rooms I do go into, I'll sometimes come across these tiny socks mistakenly got thrown into a tote with something I'm actually after.
I have no idea why he wouldn’t downsize or turn the basement into an apartment and rent it out. To not go into one of your rooms for three years, and have a whole level of rooms you only go into twice yearly seems very strange to me. But I guess if it has a lovely garden and neighbourhood and he can afford it…
Really nice decorations everywhere that gave it such a better feel and look. My house looked like a model home and she was amazing at it. Sadly, she left and took everything, so now it looks basic again.
Most people who work at a home decor store would be happy to help you!
10+ half-baked and unfinished DIY projects such as the shelf that pushes against my shoulder when I sit on my toilet, the basket on the wall that falls down at the slightest gust of wind, and the stupid containers in our closets that take up way too much space and make her want to buy *more* cabinets so she can stuff *more* boxes into them.
She turned my gym back into a living room
F#$king shoes.....so goddamm many shoes that don't get worn, don't get donated but do get premium parking space 🙄
I'm in the military, which is a very male-dominated profession. My workplace is a gray cubicle farm, but you can tell even from a distance which desk is mine; I have no less than 8 live plants, pictures of my dogs, cute magnets on my metal cabinets, a Van Gogh desk mat and hand rest.... on the daily I get compliments for having turned my cubicle into a little green oasis. EDIT: I keep telling people when they come by, that if I'm gonna spend 40+ hours a week here, it doesn't have to be depressing!
This is making me fall in love with women in a odd new way
Me too. I got the conclusion that my decoration skills are 0. I thing I should get myself a wife.
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I'm not sure if there are any men (or anyone) who need to hear this, but you are worthy of buying nice things for yourself. Investing in making a nice home for yourself is a bit like sporting or investing in social relationships, you may sometimes not like it, or feel like it is unnecessary, but it will make you feel better in the long run.
I'm in the military, which is a very male-dominated profession. My workplace is a gray cubicle farm, but you can tell even from a distance which desk is mine; I have no less than 8 live plants, pictures of my dogs, cute magnets on my metal cabinets, a Van Gogh desk mat and hand rest.... on the daily I get compliments for having turned my cubicle into a little green oasis. EDIT: I keep telling people when they come by, that if I'm gonna spend 40+ hours a week here, it doesn't have to be depressing!
This is making me fall in love with women in a odd new way
Me too. I got the conclusion that my decoration skills are 0. I thing I should get myself a wife.
Load More Replies... I'm not sure if there are any men (or anyone) who need to hear this, but you are worthy of buying nice things for yourself. Investing in making a nice home for yourself is a bit like sporting or investing in social relationships, you may sometimes not like it, or feel like it is unnecessary, but it will make you feel better in the long run.
