First the entire world went crazy about the British sense of humor. Then, there was good ol’ American comedy with brilliant stand-uppers. Russians are also notorious joke crackers that, let’s just say, may not be for everyone’s taste.
And here comes Scottish humor, which may in fact be one of the country’s finest exports. And no, we’re not talking comedy cellars—the perfect place for the Scots to crack their jokes is apparently, Twitter.
Yep, Scottish tweets are gloriously hilarious, like “maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I've been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate” and they seem to be a perfect blend of practicality, wisdom and notoriousness.
So no wonder there are 750k members and counting on the Scottish People Twitter subreddit, which offers the best selection of wisdom bites posted from the land of Scots. Check out what’s on the plate today right below, as well as our part 1.
This post may include affiliate links.
Smee Again...
Armageddon On Thursday. Best Of Luck
Mocha At Starbucks
In an earlier interview, Bored Panda spoke with one of the moderators, Reddit user Veloglasgow from r/ScottishPeopleTwitter, to get to know the content on their subreddit better. "Scots generally have a dark, dry, and direct sense of humor," they said. "Observational comedy where someone points out something that everyone accepts as day-to-day reality but which would be absurd to an outside observer also goes down well."
"Most posts that make it through the mod queue are representative, any posts that use 'fooken' or 'fecking' for fu*ken/fu*king are generally removed as no Scot hears how we say those words as that way phonetically," the moderator explained.
Amirite?
Rule Number Wan
Larry Dean, a Scottish stand-up comedian, believes that defining “Scottish” comedy is a really tough question. “First off, there’s the assumption that a nationally shared sense of humor exists at all,” he said and added “Is it really possible for five million people to make the same kind of jokes and find the same things funny?”
Larry continued: “if there’s one thing we Scottish like to laugh at, it’s ourselves. Which is useful when facing internationally reinforced caricatures every time we turn on the telly. (Think of Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons.)”
This Is The Way
Soon …
It's a statue of the Duke of Wellington in Glasgow in front of the gallery of modern art. People continuously put a traffic cone or cones on the statue's head and it has become a tradition, though not encouraged by the authorities.
Is Ur Brother Still A Vegetable?
Just lettuce assume he turniped from a human bean into a total spud muffin. But I carrot produce any rock salad evidence for that.
Moreover, “Being from the nation that’s credited with the invention of the deep-fried whatever, the man-skirt, and bad weather, I’d say we’re pretty good at taking a joke.”
Having said that, the comedian argues that the English have quite a similar sense of humor. “Many of my English friends are able to join me in a silly natter and I can’t recall ever withholding a joke because it was 'too Scottish,' or not getting one because it was 'too English.' There are hundreds of English comics and non-comics I adore for their own, inimitable styles of humor,” he explained.
New Literacy Program In Glasgow
The Dinnae Have Mouths
What did she think the water was for, flowers just like a little swim? LOL
Making The Taxi Wait
Plus, Larry believes that the “Scottish accent always seems to add a certain special something when placed amidst an otherwise English cast. Perhaps it’s a question of contrast: the ability of a distinctive voice to cut through the noise, to the chase, and tell it like it is,” he wondered.
Found The Culprit
Hope Lynda Will Be Wearing Full PPE
Yer Day Sells Avon And…
The Difference Between Cheshire And Scotland
Marketing 101
Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish
Defnitly Gonna Steal Ur Willy
I was trying to understand how a bird could yell something to anyone, let alone to a bairn (i thought who wrote the thing mispelled 'barn') and then I got it... Sorry, Italian here...
To Continue The Current Theme...
American's And The Scottish Accent
HMS Kerry Newton
Did Ye, Aye?
What A Man
If It’s Any Higher Than 12 Degrees, It’s Taps Aff
Absolutely. This is the truth, we take off our cardigans if it went past 12 degrees.
I'm from South Africa and am amazed at how differently people can react to certain temps! Here at 12 degrees we are freezing!
Load More Replies...
Visited Scotland in May few years ago. Had to buy me some thermal leggings to wear under my jeans in Edinburgh because it was so cold. Stepped out of the shop - it was a cold but sunny day - and saw several girls in tanktops and mini skirts. I wore jeans, sweatshirt, jacket and a scarf. Easily to be spotted as the tourist.
I need to move to Scotland! I have ALWAYS despised summer North Carolina!!! (southeastern united states) Might as well be sitting right on top of hell! Ugh....!
Not sure why you got downvoted but I fixed it. The older I get the more I love cloudy, cool day so I get it. And I'm also in the Southeast.
Load More Replies...
My late Scottish fiance always said "last year, summer was on a Wednesday" or, "Scotland only has two seasons. Winter and July". Fortunately, he lived his last few years with me in sunny South Africa.
I was in Edinbourgh in August some years ago and one day the temperature got over 22°C. I went to the beach and it was crowded with people swimming in the friggin cold sea like they were in hawaii or what. I dipped only my feet into the water and almost froze.
On the West Coast the summers come in Spring and I experienced some of the best, warmest/hottest summers in my life. Would have been brilliant except for those damn midges.
We'll be getting many more sunny days in a row soon due to climate change...
Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger
Suns Oot, Guns Oot
Good Doggie
Sturgeon Must Resign
only 4 months? i waited for year and 2 months, but at least mine looks much better :D
Note: this post originally had 58 images. It’s been shortened to the top 30 images based on user votes.
Who else read these out loud in their best Scottish brogue given that many of them are pretty well written phonetically?
Laughed my head off with some of them given I am a Scot. As we say, "HERE'S TAE US; WHA'S LIKE US? GEY FEW, AND THEY'RE A' DEID".
I love these. My Grandmother was Scottish, I used to believe that everyone got a Scottish accent when they got old.
I wouldn't mind visiting again someday. I went there once several years back, in fact.
Load More Replies...
I really would love to see Scotland one day but I know I am going to feel embarrassed for not understanding anyone.
Don't worry, most of them speak understandable English. The people are lovely.
Load More Replies...
Scotland itself would scare the s**t outta you then =) To be fair, the English aren't opposed to using all available words either...the Scots just seem to do it better than we do.
Load More Replies... 
Who else read these out loud in their best Scottish brogue given that many of them are pretty well written phonetically?
Laughed my head off with some of them given I am a Scot. As we say, "HERE'S TAE US; WHA'S LIKE US? GEY FEW, AND THEY'RE A' DEID".
I love these. My Grandmother was Scottish, I used to believe that everyone got a Scottish accent when they got old.
I wouldn't mind visiting again someday. I went there once several years back, in fact.
Load More Replies... I really would love to see Scotland one day but I know I am going to feel embarrassed for not understanding anyone.
Don't worry, most of them speak understandable English. The people are lovely.
Load More Replies... Scotland itself would scare the s**t outta you then =) To be fair, the English aren't opposed to using all available words either...the Scots just seem to do it better than we do.
Load More Replies... 