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First the entire world went crazy about the British sense of humor. Then, there was good ol’ American comedy with brilliant stand-uppers. Russians are also notorious joke crackers that, let’s just say, may not be for everyone’s taste.
And here comes Scottish humor, which may in fact be one of the country’s finest exports. And no, we’re not talking comedy cellars—the perfect place for the Scots to crack their jokes is apparently, Twitter.
Yep, Scottish tweets are gloriously hilarious, like “maw bought aldi shower gel that smells like fairy liquid so I've been cutting about all day smelling like a f**ing plate” and they seem to be a perfect blend of practicality, wisdom and notoriousness.
So no wonder there are 750k members and counting on the Scottish People Twitter subreddit, which offers the best selection of wisdom bites posted from the land of Scots. Check out what’s on the plate today right below, as well as our part 1.
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#1
Smee Again...
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#2
Armageddon On Thursday. Best Of Luck
In an earlier interview, Bored Panda spoke with one of the moderators, Reddit user Veloglasgow from r/ScottishPeopleTwitter, to get to know the content on their subreddit better. "Scots generally have a dark, dry, and direct sense of humor," they said. "Observational comedy where someone points out something that everyone accepts as day-to-day reality but which would be absurd to an outside observer also goes down well."
"Most posts that make it through the mod queue are representative, any posts that use 'fooken' or 'fecking' for fu*ken/fu*king are generally removed as no Scot hears how we say those words as that way phonetically," the moderator explained.
#4
Amirite?
#5
Frog
John Braines 4 years ago
Now even bags are mutating. We're all doomed Mr Mannering , All doomed!
#6
Rule Number Wan
Larry Dean, a Scottish stand-up comedian, believes that defining “Scottish” comedy is a really tough question. “First off, there’s the assumption that a nationally shared sense of humor exists at all,” he said and added “Is it really possible for five million people to make the same kind of jokes and find the same things funny?”
Larry continued: “if there’s one thing we Scottish like to laugh at, it’s ourselves. Which is useful when facing internationally reinforced caricatures every time we turn on the telly. (Think of Groundskeeper Willie from The Simpsons.)”
#7
This Is The Way
#8
Soon …
JamezyJamez 4 years ago
It's a statue of the Duke of Wellington in Glasgow in front of the gallery of modern art. People continuously put a traffic cone or cones on the statue's head and it has become a tradition, though not encouraged by the authorities.
#9
Is Ur Brother Still A Vegetable?
Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago
Just lettuce assume he turniped from a human bean into a total spud muffin. But I carrot produce any rock salad evidence for that.
Moreover, “Being from the nation that’s credited with the invention of the deep-fried whatever, the man-skirt, and bad weather, I’d say we’re pretty good at taking a joke.”
Having said that, the comedian argues that the English have quite a similar sense of humor. “Many of my English friends are able to join me in a silly natter and I can’t recall ever withholding a joke because it was 'too Scottish,' or not getting one because it was 'too English.' There are hundreds of English comics and non-comics I adore for their own, inimitable styles of humor,” he explained.
#10
New Literacy Program In Glasgow
#11
The Dinnae Have Mouths
Nadine Bamberger 4 years ago (edited)
What did she think the water was for, flowers just like a little swim? LOL
#12
Making The Taxi Wait
Plus, Larry believes that the “Scottish accent always seems to add a certain special something when placed amidst an otherwise English cast. Perhaps it’s a question of contrast: the ability of a distinctive voice to cut through the noise, to the chase, and tell it like it is,” he wondered.
#13
Found The Culprit
#14
Hope Lynda Will Be Wearing Full PPE
#15
Yer Day Sells Avon And…
#16
The Difference Between Cheshire And Scotland
#17
Marketing 101
#18
Dont Want To Piss Off The Scottish
#19
Defnitly Gonna Steal Ur Willy
Emmydearest 4 years ago
I was trying to understand how a bird could yell something to anyone, let alone to a bairn (i thought who wrote the thing mispelled 'barn') and then I got it... Sorry, Italian here...
#20
To Continue The Current Theme...
#21
American's And The Scottish Accent
#22
HMS Kerry Newton
#23
Did Ye, Aye?
#24
What A Man
#25
If It’s Any Higher Than 12 Degrees, It’s Taps Aff
Michelle Muirhead 4 years ago
Absolutely. This is the truth, we take off our cardigans if it went past 12 degrees.
#26
Wouldn't Expect Any Less From A Soulless Ginger
#27
Suns Oot, Guns Oot
#28
Good Doggie
#30
Sturgeon Must Resign
MagicalUnicorn 4 years ago
only 4 months? i waited for year and 2 months, but at least mine looks much better :D
#31
Bengal Tiger Epidemic In Scotland
Mewton’s Third Paw 4 years ago
That doesn’t seem that bad. If it was easier they’d do it themselves.
#33
People Make Glasgow
Kathryn Baylis 4 years ago
Aaaand THAT’S where they got that bigger heart…. (I’ll go quietly, I promise)…
#34
I Think Its Better If I Give No Context
#36
Next He’ll Be Pishing Anywhere He Wants
beastmachine. 4 years ago
As far as I know dogs shouldn't be given alcohol? Correct me if I am wrong
#37
Brilliant Sunset
#40
Beer Grylls
Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago
How many bears could bear grylls grill if bear grylls could grill bears??
#41
Nae Luck St.George
#42
I’ll Have A Kurger Bing X
#43
Limmy Hits The Nail On The Head
#44
Chanks!
Lunar Bicycle 4 years ago
My brain couldn’t decide between “have a good day” and “have a good one” so it settled for “have a goog dun.”
#45
He Wants To Spread His Inferior Bieber Fever
#46
Im Going To Heeland Coo Myself
#48
Interesting Take From A Spirit
#49
Aye
#50
Joory Jooty
Philly Bob Squires 4 years ago
Ever listen to a Philadelphian? Wooder, fiddy cent, hunnerd dollerz, rattyator...
#51
Thanks. I Didn’t Think Of That
#52
Baldy Daddy
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
BP's bad word blockers can't handle the amount of cussing in these Scottish tweets.
#53
Surprisingly Refreshing
#55
You'll Take The High Road And I'll Take The Low Road
#57
Normality Has Returned
Michelle Muirhead 4 years ago
There was a photo of some daftie in Glesca sitting oot side having a meal the other day.
#58
I've Got Two If Anyone's Needing One
Luther von Wolfen 4 years ago
"C**t" is the Scottish "smurf". They just stick into any sentence anywhere.
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What do you think ?
Marno Cameron 4 years ago
Who else read these out loud in their best Scottish brogue given that many of them are pretty well written phonetically?
Michelle Muirhead 4 years ago
Laughed my head off with some of them given I am a Scot. As we say, "HERE'S TAE US; WHA'S LIKE US? GEY FEW, AND THEY'RE A' DEID".
Claire 4 years ago
I love these. My Grandmother was Scottish, I used to believe that everyone got a Scottish accent when they got old.
Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago
I wouldn't mind visiting again someday. I went there once several years back, in fact.
Load More Replies...
Dina Simoné 4 years ago
I really would love to see Scotland one day but I know I am going to feel embarrassed for not understanding anyone.
Auntriarch 4 years ago
Don't worry, most of them speak understandable English. The people are lovely.
Load More Replies...
Chryseis 4 years ago
Scotland itself would scare the s**t outta you then =) To be fair, the English aren't opposed to using all available words either...the Scots just seem to do it better than we do.
Load More Replies... 
Marno Cameron 4 years ago
Who else read these out loud in their best Scottish brogue given that many of them are pretty well written phonetically?
Michelle Muirhead 4 years ago
Laughed my head off with some of them given I am a Scot. As we say, "HERE'S TAE US; WHA'S LIKE US? GEY FEW, AND THEY'RE A' DEID".
Claire 4 years ago
I love these. My Grandmother was Scottish, I used to believe that everyone got a Scottish accent when they got old.
Tobias the Tiger 4 years ago
I wouldn't mind visiting again someday. I went there once several years back, in fact.
Load More Replies... Dina Simoné 4 years ago
I really would love to see Scotland one day but I know I am going to feel embarrassed for not understanding anyone.
Auntriarch 4 years ago
Don't worry, most of them speak understandable English. The people are lovely.
Load More Replies... Chryseis 4 years ago
Scotland itself would scare the s**t outta you then =) To be fair, the English aren't opposed to using all available words either...the Scots just seem to do it better than we do.
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