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For the modern person, always in need of constant stimulation and validation, the good old private diary is no longer enough. Every questionable, chaotic, and unhinged personal thought can be quickly pushed onto the unsuspecting public, regardless of how they feel about it.

So here is a collection of posts from X (formerly tweets from Twitter) that showcase all the funniest personal thoughts people perhaps should have kept to themselves. Get comfortable before you scroll through and be sure to upvote your favorites. And if you are feeling inspired, share your own thoughts and experiences in the comments section below. 

#1

God Has Protected Me

God Has Protected Me

zzill6 Report

I'M A SHOUTY MAN (they/she/he)
Community Member
2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Amen brother! It's like a meme I've seen a few times. God will give us all we need, but don't expect it to come to you like a special object in a video game, hovering above the table with a ring of light around it. When-the-H...50aac1.jpg When-the-Holy-Spirit-has-given-you-everything-651d26d50aac1.jpg

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    #2

    Put Em Outside By The Dumpsters

    Put Em Outside By The Dumpsters

    kevinc2c1 Report

    #3

    Why Stop There?

    Why Stop There?

    DaFunkJunkie Report

    L.V
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But women are too dumb to make such important decisions! /s

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    #4

    Fake Number

    Fake Number

    DaFunkJunkie Report

    François Bouzigues
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be honest, the first one is a good advice. And knowing someone is giving you a wrong number instead of guessing should lead you to : a)abandon further interaction with said person b)investigate what you did to make her feel that way and try to be a better / more interesting / less creepy person.

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    #5

    Some People Change

    Some People Change

    MattVekakis Report

    Jeremy James
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Southern Baptist MIL has gone from pretending that I don't exist, (even to my face,) to occasionally asking about me and referring to me as, "that guy you live with." It's honestly a step in the right direction and it only took 20 years.

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    #6

    The Retirement Age

    The Retirement Age

    ModeratorForLeaks Report

    #7

    Dead Malls

    Dead Malls

    ExpertAccident Report

    ThatCapybara
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I’ve ALWAYS thought this! Make this happen 100%, it can work with other abandoned buildings too

    Kathryn Baylis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I like the idea of repurposing old buildings. Problem is they tend to prefer to turn old factories into luxury apartments instead of affordable apartments normal people can live in.

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    rullyman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Here's another concept. Every human on earth should be guaranteed standard shelter by their government. We can accept paying for schooling for 12 years of a child's life, we can accept spending billions on the military, but the idea that everyone has their own little hotel style room with ensuite is just unimaginable? So many problems would be solved with this basic shelter guarantee.

    Brian Kohlhase
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For citizens, I agree, but we can't allow millions to just walk in and we give them food, water, shelter, medical care, education. Make sure they have entertainment. And we are spending billions on the illegals, people are hurting and are changing attitudes, the progressives, as usual, have gone too far.

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    Iva Kazalova
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But but…why would you help the homeless?! That’s so socialist

    Ephemeral Mochi
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think Iva was being sarcastic here, no need to downvote

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    TheAmericanAmerican
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    YUUUUUP! We don't have a "space/room problem". It's just a "we have decided that we don't want to spend tax money on THAT" problem.

    Jeannie Miller
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How about pay people a livable wage so the aren't homeless. Also, provide health care for all so they can have their mental health cared for.

    Louby Of Morrowind
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not always about living wage or financial hardship for people who are homeless. My dad was homeless and spent many years that way until he died. His wife died of cancer, he turned to the drink, lost his two young kids ( my half brother and sister) and then his bought home in a very upscale area. It all went downhill. Mental health and addiction takes more from people I think. I have taught my teens that a good job and hard work does not always pay, especially in our county of Cornwall in the UK. The cost of living is through the roof. Teach young people to stay with parents for as long as possible or to go in on a property with friends so you can save for the future. Money management can be easier for us all if we are taught about it in schools. Mental health and addiction need addressing so much more when it comes to homelessness

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    Kelly Gracey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tons of parking too! Use solar canopies and power the whole facility!

    Wend kirk
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the huge car parks can be turned into vegetable gardens and fruit orchards

    Diana Pahule
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many of us came up with this idea decades ago.

    Blondie23
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is absolutely NO reason that there should be any homeless in the USA....we have far too many buildings that are empty and far too much money being wasted in governments!!!

    Timbob
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And the funds for all this ???

    Neuropotathy
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Confiscate from Putler's friends, they dont even hide, live vip life in London, Switzerland and the US.

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    Just Another Girl
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My local mall had homeless ppl living there, so they bulldozed it.

    Patricia Steward
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unfortunately, many are being knocked down and replaced by "market-value" apartments that only the rich can afford.

    Piglet
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Where does the funding come from?

    Bouche and Audi and Shyla, Oh My!
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We don't have nearly enough bombs, you know. We have to cut education again. Too bad no one will be able to read the instructions on the bombs....

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    Robert K
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    buildings, former military bases, there are all kinds of properties like these. Liability and maintenance woud be issues, but any obstacle is meant to be overcome!

    Ian John
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not just malls but closed K-marts and grocery stores too. Where I live we have 2 vacant grocery stores and 2 vacant K-Mart locations that had the full service cafe meaning they were set up for food too. The grocery stores both had a deli that served food as most do anymore. Instead they stand around going further and further into disrepair.

    Granny
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh no then they will be spoiled and expect help all the time....say some

    Fresh Big
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Anything is possible, depends on how you vote for your tax dollars to be spent.

    Jaybird3939
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the same could be said of abandoned schools (gym, cafeteria, showers, laundry, re-decorating) and hospitals (cafeteria, rooms could be made in to small apts, floors could be separated for different people/activities).

    Katrina Nixon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But they won't, because it makes sense.

    LJ williams
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Great idea though it will never be done

    Spec Tater
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thing is, you’d have to sign over your firstborn and your soul to the land barons that own it! They’re not gonna give up that prime real estate for less than that. It’s a loss and tax-write off if they leave it empty!

    J
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Majority homeless are there due to a problem; Mental health issues, drug addiction, etc. Putting them in a Mall will do nothing without treating their problems. If anything, now you have concentrated and created a much worse situation.

    Lynn Morello
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They won't do this because the Government doesn't get any Kick backs from this being a Charity,

    JP Purves
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But the property owners don't see profit in that, so the abandoned malls just rot into the ground.

    Beth Moyer
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    empty government-owned buildings are in EVERY state!

    Norman Beattie
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's an interesting idea with a few problems to overcome. Biggest problem they are still very expensive real estate.

    Kelly Gracey
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tons of parking too! Use solar canopies to cover the parking lot and power the whole facility!

    U.R. Kidding
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wait. I've read this as Gen X retirement homes.

    MightTinyIrish
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Until 6 weeks ago I used to be the executive director of a food bank (28,000 sq ft) in an old mall that was mostly coverted to a social service hub. I full believe in revitalizing old spaces but without proper community investment the old malls are a money pit and people barely want to fund base level services let alone invest in giving money for old and bad infrastructure that does not meet current code.

    B.Nelson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Add mental health services, veteran services, addiction services, and employment services along with an available judge and lawyers to help with tickets and fines. They do a veterans stand down in San Diego for homeless veterans once a year that has all that available.

    rcargar
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's a shame that the wealthy creates such a bureaucracy and so many regulations that it's untenable

    Deery Lou
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    much better than turning them into hideous, cheaply built, over priced condos that no one asked for

    Sandy Lynn Johnson
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Totally agree. The problem is always politics because you know they have to be involved aka red tape.

    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Extended concent: repurpose any and all abandoned/dead buildings

    Jill Rhodry
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've had similar thoughts too with the complaints about the 'CBD dying' because people refuse to return to work - allow people to WFH, the suburbs will thrive and the 20 min city will organically evolve, move all the offices to one end of the city, the other end refurbish the office buildings to apartments, the CBD shops will adjust to the needs of the residents/workers

    Joe Bloe
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it's full of p**s....

    adam james
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah yes, let's give everything away for free.

    El Dee
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OR...and hear me out, build enough houses and actually allow them to be used by people who are homeless..

    Shane Hussel
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We have plenty of houses in the US, they just get turned into airbnbs

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    Matt Wheeler
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Sure, safe place for them to do drugs, steal from each other and destroy the place. Natural selection.

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    #8

    Heavy Machinery

    Heavy Machinery

    ThriftySenator Report

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    #9

    "It Just Wont Work" It Actually Does

    "It Just Wont Work" It Actually Does

    Maxonsdad Report

    Solidhog
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, the UK is holding on by it's fingertips at the moment and it's really only the doctors and fantastic nurses in the hospitals holding it together at the moment.

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    #10

    This Dad Has One Great Son

    This Dad Has One Great Son

    ModeratorForLeaks Report

    Dana Trahan
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So heartwarming and heartbreaking. Kids can be so cruel

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    #11

    Wow. Medical Debt Causes Divorce For Married Couple Of 52 Years

    Wow. Medical Debt Causes Divorce For Married Couple Of 52 Years

    TruthToPower77 Report

    Libstak
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good on them for playing the system though

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    #12

    Basics Of Billionaires …

    Basics Of Billionaires …

    itsJeffTiedrich Report

    Marno C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Shhhhh,,,,,, Let the billionaires blast themselves into space. While they're gone, it's a great chance to unionize.

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    #13

    Management

    Management

    mattwallaert Report

    rullyman
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should be giving everyone on the team a raise equivalent to the managers salary divided amongst them

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    #14

    There Is No Such A Thing As Teacher Shortage

    There Is No Such A Thing As Teacher Shortage

    Active-Ad-233 Report

    Marno C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plus, getting shots at the bar is a lot better than at the school.

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    #15

    No Narcs

    No Narcs

    TheDrewRap Report

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Disturbing costumers"? So they were disturbing people whose job it is to maintain and dress actors in the wardrobe of a movie, TV show or play?

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    #16

    I Wholeheartedly Approve

    I Wholeheartedly Approve

    jessevondoom Report

    Marno C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes! Especially if he leads the way and takes his bestest, mostest friends with him. We'll give him.... uh... a special trophy or NFT of a trophy or something to memorialize his special leadership.

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    #17

    Why Are It Guys Such D**ks?

    Why Are It Guys Such D**ks?

    Bigringcycling Report

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So much this. Usually, when someone says the IT guy is "being a d**k" what that really means is they're asking basic questions to cover all the bases because they've been thru that kind of sh1t before, but the person being asked decided to take it as an insult to their intelligence.

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    #18

    Burn It All Down….m4a Now

    Burn It All Down….m4a Now

    orchid_breeder Report

    Edward Finger Hands
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had an emergency surgery this year. I pay almost $500 a month for my insurance. It still cost me nearly $10,000. With insurance!! Without insurance, the surgery was almost 125k. Absolutely outrageous.

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    #19

    People Are Morons

    People Are Morons

    adamhillscomedy Report

    Trophy Husband
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Imagine being one of the a******s who didn't take the Polio vaccine because they were anti-vax and that's why Polio is running rampant today... oh wait, that's not what happened, people lined up in droves, some camping overnight in the hopes of getting the vaccine. And today Polio is nearly unheard of...

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    #20

    Parenting Boys

    Parenting Boys

    dddullahan Report

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    #22

    I’d Like To See It

    I’d Like To See It

    MessyGuy01 Report

    Francis
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    you will not always have a calculator in your pocket... ah well..

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    #23

    This Tweet Is So Accurate

    This Tweet Is So Accurate

    Tarshorri Report

    Bob Brooce
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wonder who he voted for in the last presidential election

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    #24

    Do Taxes Have To Be This Complicated?

    Do Taxes Have To Be This Complicated?

    dilettantedebrah Report

    Kristy Marion
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don’t get the US system. Is it not taken out weekly for salaried employees? Are there not tax brackets?

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    #25

    Makes Sense

    Makes Sense

    Aztery Report

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    #26

    It Never Ends

    It Never Ends

    tee_babz Report

    ConstantlyJon
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    love it when my name is used in normal conversation

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    #27

    Let’s Tell The Whole Truth

    Let’s Tell The Whole Truth

    reddit.com Report

    Libstak
    Community Member
    2 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Apparently our major supermarkets staff are having a strike this coming weekend and Friday. Record inflation after record profits and no pay raises for the workers expected along with their customers to survive paying even more for groceries after a record profits year. Good for the workers, strike away, I'm joining them by only buying at local markets and small family owned grocers for the duration and maybe if the big supermarkets do the right thing, maybe, I'll come back for the sake of my fellow working class battlers.

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    #28

    Lol 🤣

    Lol 🤣

    stevanzetti Report

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    2 years ago

    This comment has been deleted.

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    #30

    But I'll Still Tell Him

    But I'll Still Tell Him

    ModeratorForLeaks Report

    Marno C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    God bless Tyler. He's doing his best and probably texting his girlfriend the whole time, too.

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    #31

    Beware

    Beware

    Bossloper Report

    Marno C.
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Remember the old days when kings would ride off into battle, leading the charge of their lords and noblemen? Lets try that again but include corporate executives since they are sort of the modern aristocracy now. Pay per view it, even.

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    #32

    Literally No One

    Literally No One

    ajfoucault Report

    Susie Elle
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I remember people saying they felt like the Jewish people during WWII and if this isn't the peak of being privilidged then I don't know what is (i.e. when you have it so good that oblidgated to uphold medical advice makes you feel oppressed like a people being eradicated during a world war).

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    #33

    Works Like A Charm

    Works Like A Charm

    SampleSwimming8576 Report

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    #34

    One Of The Evils Of Capitalism Involves Punishing People For Helping Others Or Showing Charity

    One Of The Evils Of Capitalism Involves Punishing People For Helping Others Or Showing Charity

    reddit.com Report

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    #35

    Things Have Changed

    Things Have Changed

    JacobAShell Report

    The Scout
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, yes, the middle class life... A German politician in the not so distant past described himself as "middle class" while owning a private plane and making 1.5 millon a year. So it comes down to a matter of definition.

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    #36

    Oooooffff

    Oooooffff

    MountainSage58 Report

    Dekker451
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the same guy who thinks he knows enough about programming to micromanage the people who are trying to develop self-driving technology for him.

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    #37

    Ancient Greece Wasn't Gay

    Ancient Greece Wasn't Gay

    Appointment-Funny Report

    Tams21
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is what happens when you're so uneducated, you don't realise how uneducated you are ☹️

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