Why would Pewdiepie call a far corner of the internet known by the title “Cursed Comments” "the very worst subreddit” out there, I wonder? Surely there should be many more reckless and vicious subreddits that refuse to abide by the rules of common sense.
Well, seemingly innocent at first glance, the subreddit Cursed Comments owns its name 100 percent. Why? Because, as the community’s description says, it serves a collection of “comments that strike the reader into oblivion, while leaving you speechless at the same time.”
Sometimes, it’s the blatant gruesomeness, other times it’s pure incomprehension, sometimes it’s sheer absurdity, other cases it’s all ensued hilarity. After all, it’s a reflection of all the communication happening out in the virtual wild west. Nothing is sacred, everything is kinda meme-like.
So we picked out some of the most ‘srsly?’ and ‘im outta here’ comments as shared by a whopping 2.7 million cursed members in the group. In the end, we are all more or less cursed, it’s just that the cursed ones already know it.
Psst! More cursed comments await in our previous posts here and here.
This post may include affiliate links.
Cursed_bookreview
Yes. The reviewer might have lost all motion but his/her brain is sharp as ever. 😄
Load More Replies...It turns out Jesus was a very bad book author :D
Load More Replies...Cursed_bears
They probably would have been fine if they were polar bears, I agree
Really, because polar bears have black skin and clear hair....backfired on that one "notarandomregenarate)
Yeah, but it's all about appearances though, isn't it.
Load More Replies...Cursed Witches
Can be bypassed by simply flooding the entire house and floating down~
Load More Replies...they are not called that, even in New England. They are space saving stairs and are super rare unless you build a tiny house.
Not true, apparently. From Reuters Fact Check: Posts shared in early March 2021 claim that alternate-tread staircases are called “Witches Stairs,” allegedly built with the belief that “witches can’t climb up them.” This claim is false, as alternate-tread stairs are simply intended to save space, particularly in narrow homes. Such stairs have not been historically understood as an attempt to ward off witches.
In italian they are 'mariners staircases'. Indeed space-saving steeper-than-regulations-usually-allow things. Halfway between ladder and stairs.
Load More Replies...I fell down a bunch of those stairs when I was 4. I guess I'm a witch...
Load More Replies...Cursed_paronoid
Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they're not after you.
YES! I CAME TO THE COMMENTS JUST TO SEE IF ANYONE MENTIONED HAMILTON!!!
Load More Replies..."Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they're not out to get you".
Oh wow! That's amazing, cruel, hilarious and clever all at the same time.........I love it!
To quote Nirvana "Just because you're paranoid, don't mean they're not after you"
Cursed Drink
Cursed_hot Tubs
Me, too. My fave story is the guy who got too close, fell in, died (hot-as-fawk-water) and were unable to retrieve his body. The next day the authorities came back to get him and they only found his flip flops. The acids in the pool finished him off.
Load More Replies...Now people will line up for "The Yellowstone Challenge" to swan dive into a geyser because they saw it on the internet.
Cursed_buisness Meeting
What if you're going to hang yourself at the business meeting?
Hmmm... does that only apply to men? Nope. It doesn't. For example, I contemplated whether ice was just stale water today.
But ppl do put their ties around the bottom of their necks, don't they?
Cursed_healthcare
Yes - every doctor needs a tranquilizer gun, bowling pins, and rubber duckies......
And the biggest pills the world has ever known to this day
Load More Replies...I'm mildly concerned, won't children swallow the pills to the right by accident? 😬
Nah, I'm pretty sure they'd do it on purpose. After all, that's what you do with pills.
Load More Replies...And pills the size of.. of... Whatever they're the size of, apparently bowling pins. This must be the " contains small pieces" set that made them make the law!!! Plus, the gun is not labeled correctly. Should be labeled "Malpractice insurance".
We tried our best but they’re not going to make it. Let’s put them out of their misery before it gets any worse *c0cks gun*
People may hear... better yet, get them bowling pins out.
Load More Replies...Cursed_spareparts
For any practical reasons it just makes sense to save your partner by real name. Otherwise, stuff happens like writing the bank on the loan extension and putting him into CC as "Butternut Sweety " or her as "Sweetest honey-baby ".
My cousin's contact info is saved under "Twiddle Dinkle Monkey Butt". That's how another cousin of ours sent it to me.
Every family member in mi cel phone is with their name. In my country, if your phone is stollen and unblocked (yeah, they do it easily here) and you have your family as "mom" "dad" "Honey " those are the first numbers they call and pretend thay have kidnapped u and ask for ransom.
I had my husband listed as Sweetstuff. Had an accident, and the guy who reached me first got my phone to call my family. When I told him my husband was "Sweetstuff", he fell on his butt laughing. I changed it right after.
Mine's under "G" (while there's no G anywhere in first nor surname), because ---gather round my rocking chair, young 'uns--- In The Olden Days on your phone keypad you had 2=ABC, 3=DEF, 4=GHI, and so forth ('2' for A, '22' for B, '222' for C), and G was the only one-keytap-button I had free so quick and no accidental mis-sending of personal stuff...
Cursed_pocket
We kinda have to put our phones in our back pockets because our pants don't have real pockets in the front.
Speaking from the outside in here, but having front pockets that can hold a decent amount of stuff shouldn’t be just a “guy thing”. ALL humans can use large pockets!
Load More Replies...You know she is minding her own business when she puts her phone in whichever pocket she chooses.
I found several sundresses last year with nice big pockets. My husband said he'd never seen such a big smile on my face. Said he's taking up sewing.
Could we please have a moratorium (permenent) on referring to women as ho's and bitches?
Amen to that. A little respect for half the world's population would be a good thing.
Load More Replies...Right, ok. So she puts her phone in her back pocket which highlights her bum and if he notices her non-removable body part she's a wh0re. So, what, to be seen as a non-skank a woman must be unattractive to him, but then presumably he would also see her as completely valueless so in his world women are either wh0res or worthless. Thaaaaaat's great.
I'd say it's pointless to point out why the original post is deranged and toxic; but then I look at social and other media and it seems necessary.
Load More Replies...This is a guy looking for an excuse to rape. But your honor, she was asking for it! She was wearing her phone in her back pocket!
Cursed_health
Cursed_dad
The challenge was trying to be straight..not being in prison.
Load More Replies...Welcome to this planet, I see you're new here. He's a businessman that spends a lot on consumer research and knows bizarrely well what will get millions of views; on average US$300K goes into each super-produced episode on his YT channel, none of which worth watching.
Load More Replies...Cursed_dog
I was going through the airport once and there was a K-9 who kept following me and sniffing my butt. My grandmother asked if I needed to be checked and the policeman responded "He's just being friendly. Get back over here and stop following her."
Probably shouldn't have packed that leftover steak in your carry-on...
At Toronto Airport there is a 'highly trained' beagle that sniffs luggage for imported meat products.....
Or mangos in LAX, when it's Alphonso season in India.
Load More Replies...Cursed_heelies
My Grade School (Primary School in Ireland) was run by nuns - I can TOTALLY relate.
My catholic high school here in Canada had a few when I was there in the 90’s. One nun patrolled the halls and the girl’s bathroom constantly. To get rid of her we’d roll pennies and nickels in the hallways and she would chase after them for her mission boxes. She could run but would have been funnier with heelies.
Load More Replies...Cursed_allergies
NO! NOT THE BEES!! AAAAAHHHHH!!! *insert Nicolas Cage meme*
Load More Replies...when i took an allergy scratch test and the doctor removed the bandage, he said, "well, there's one or two." "things i'm allergic to?" I asked. "No, things you're NOT allergic to," he responded.
Come to find out, you’re allergic to the device that administers the p rick test
Cursed_children
It's not that cold actually, thanks to volcanos and geysers. In Iceland you get boiling water from the tap and have to find a way how to cool it down.
Load More Replies...But on the other hand, they do have exploding Volcanoes. Australia..the ball has been lobbed back to you!
In Iceland, you eat shark. In Australia, shark eats you. Croc also eats you. Jellyfish stings you, stingray stabs you, octopus bites (and fatally poisons) you, stonefish removes foot, and surfer hecking runs you over. On an unrelated note, if anyone ever finds out what ate Harold Holt, please bring the specimen in so we can stick it next to the pool we named after him, just in case a body of water named after a guy who vanished off the coast of Victoria doesn't scare the children enough. I mean, we haven't lost any more Prime Ministers, but you can never be too careful.
Load More Replies...Ireland has no native snakes and never has, and nor does New Zealand, Hawaii, or Greenland, so not only Iceland on the snake front.
Ah, so you are denying Saint Patrick's work. Shame on you 😁
Load More Replies...My dad used to kid around that when he was small and was sleeping on the terrace...an army of mosquitoes came...lifted him up along with the folding bed and placed him in a park🤡 ✋
england has no snakes or harmful reptiles, no dangerous spiders except imported ones, and only gets mosquitoes rarely in the hottest of summers (which here is 30*C +). Dont go to scotland though, they have midgets which are worse than mosquitoes. Beleive me
In the 90's, I worked in Newfoundland at a place called Great Mosquito Cove. You could see those suckers coming from 100 yards away (Sorry, Canada, 100 metres)
Cursed_flight
I'm with the guy. Also:The dead person was heading somewhere for a reason, maybe he was flying home. But now his family has to pick him up Godknowswhere.
Guy has a point. In the hotel in Ireland that my Bro-in-law worked at, a man died on the first night of his European vacation. His wife had the local undertaker put him on ice and she picked him up 9 days later on her way back to Cleveland.
Cursed_batman
And yet they are the ones that never die. It’s always kind Maggie who stops to let ducks cross the road but forgot to put her blinkers on so she’s plowed from behind by a giant truck. Killing Maggie and ducks.
Load More Replies...Problem is that he’d have to have multi-millionare parents if that’s gonna work (and an awesome butler)
Sounds like he needs a mental health check up. They're are meds for that!!
Bruce Wayne chose to be batman after his rich parents were killed.
Load More Replies...and when the bat bit him, there's the start of covid.....
or a turn himself into a gorilla by drinking Gorilla Glue...we can only hope
Cursed_cat
How else do you explain toe beans? They’re so cute, you want to munch on them!!
Load More Replies...As a cat lover, I laughed way too hard at this one. (no, I don't love them with barbeque sauce. I am twisted enough to make that sort of comment so, yes, I expect less of you)
I see this and all I can imagine is Young Einstein. He saves kittens from being baked in a pie. Movie so bad it's good.
That's what I thought it was referring to xD O-O Need to watch that movie again. Tis been a while.
Load More Replies...My cat did something similar one year on Thanksgiving, we were having dinner in the dining room and went into the kitchen to get the pies and she had left one perfect, very deep, swipe across the top of the pie. I guess pumpkin wasn't her thing because it was just the one swipe.
Cursed_carrot
Omg the dog comment!!! The dog is like, "great I'm gonna have to hold my bladder all night again when he goes to the ER to get that out of his a**s"!!
I get zucchinis that big and we usually end up giving them away to our family because we ain't got no room for 10 zucchinis the size of a baby :l
So just one zucchini at a time , we get it >.>
Load More Replies...bwahahahahahaaa! oh man - someone has their mind firmly in the gutter...
Cursed_bill
If I knew the bill would be that amount, I would've just let the snake venom kill me!
Bringing back the snake is the "Special Services" charge
Load More Replies...You just HAD to rub salt on open bite marks, didn't you?
Load More Replies...Antivenom that often has to be flown in from out of state, so you have to pay for the helicopter/plane/etc. and it's all covered under "pharmacy", is my guess. (Based on what happened when someone got bit by a rattler locally.)
Load More Replies...We all know the US health care system is completely f****d up, but as a radiographer I'm stuck on the radiology part of the bill. Why did they get involved? Where the fangs still in there? Granted, we don't have many venomous snakes in Scandinavia, but I've never heard of anyone x-raying a snake bite.
Fellow radiographer also wondering... Maybe a suspicion of necrosis?
Load More Replies...They’re using the age-old strategy of keeping poor people down because they know we outnumber them significantly and could overthrow them all if we weren’t crippled by debt and illness.
Load More Replies...Cursed Survival
Right?! Both of these people are going to die soon without help, but they should be satisfied with what they have?? Sounds like Republican logic to me.
Load More Replies...*Glory and Gore starts playing because we now have record players on islands*
Cursed_accident
In the hunger game books a character dies in a coal mining accident
Load More Replies...So are all the kids supposed to fight to the death as entertainment? (Sarcasm)
dear kids, there can be only one on that oh-so-fun ride. may the odds be ever in your favour :>
Load More Replies...According to SyFy Wire it's in Dubai - "The World of the Hunger Games themed land officially opened today, and is situated inside the Lionsgate Zone at the Motiongate Dubai theme park in the United Arab Emirates. (Okay, so technically it's a land inside a zone inside a park, but everything's bigger in Dubai.)"
Load More Replies...Fellow Hunger Games fan! Nice to meet you! Well...
Load More Replies...hunger games, restaurants, cafes...am I the only one to see a bit of an inconsistency here? XD
I think the twist is that the theme park is happening. We are all already in it. Someone keep an eye on Stanley Tucci.
At least it's better than the horrendous accident theme park. It even had plans for a recreation of the slide from Action Park.
Cursed_mask
i love ur username and profile pic XD i love sneks
Load More Replies...What powers come with 'V'? An ability to recognise the iniquities of rampant capitalism and the will to carry out an enormous terrorist act.? .. Or the ability to be a dickhead teenager trying to spook people on the internet?
The power to speak sentances made up exclusively of words that start with "v"
Load More Replies...Being Orphan isn't an ability, same with being rich... but you'd be the hell of an investigator.
Even if it makes you look like him you are essentially immortal and kind of a badass. Hopefully being crazy isn't considered a super power.
Load More Replies...Cursed_airplane
"Here comes the horse carria- you know what timmy just eat your brogle it's not gonna kill ya" -parents before 1804
In those days there was nothing like child welfare and protection so chances are the phrase was "Open wide or I will beat you with a rock"
Cursed Decomposing
me, I just invest in the stock market. This guy...kind of brilliant.
Want this the guy where someone donated and asked Alexa what his address was? Absolute madlad
Should I have my kid put a go pro on me while I'm getting cremated?
so if your trying to make money while you sleep does that mean you are a whore?
Cursed_swearing_baby
Son, you're doing it wrong... Milk is supposed to come out of your mother.
Imagine if the son gets sent to a daycare……YOU CALL THIS JUICE FOR F****S SAKE!?!?!?!?
Cursed_friend:
That movie has always creeped me out. Idk why, but the bad guys is like really creepy. It’s cool tho
Yeah it is kinda creepy ngl. It would make a good horror movie if, ya know, it weren't made for children.
Load More Replies...I have epilepsy, and a friend panicked once because a movie had flashing lights, and she was convinced I'd start seizing. Chill out--it doesn't happen to all of us, Cathy.
OMG I KNOW eveyone: OMG U GOOD R U FEELING OK I FORGOT U HAD THIS HERE SIT DOWN HAVE SOME WATER me: bro...
Load More Replies...That's actually not cool. Having epilepsy sucks. Having a friend with epilepsy around flashing lights and acting like he's dancing is not a joke. Frothing from the mouth is uncool. Biting your tongue so badly you can't eat for weeks sucks. Dealt with assholes like this in my life. Not a funny one. I liked every other post other than this one.
It's called dark humor, dipshit. You don't have to like it. It's meant to be sadistic.
Load More Replies...Cursed_battle
why is everybody downvoting comments with any sympathy for the girl scout?! we are talking about a child getting punched here!
wow. i am really glad that girl wasn't in my troop and feel sorry for her. i am very lucky not to have encountered any people who are real karens over cookies, and i really hope it stays that way.
Is everyone a grammar nazi now? Just let it be if you can read it it's fine
Load More Replies...wAnNa BuY tHiN mInTs?! WeLl I dOnT gOt NoNe- *IS PUNCHED*
Load More Replies...Cursed_brother
I can touch type - assuming all he did was switch the plastic keys and not mess with the wiring underneath, pressing A would still being up Q (assuming a QWERTY keyboard was the original). I'd just type him a nice, long email, while occasionally making and holding eye contact to show how unphased I am by his prank.
At work I have a keyboard with no letters on it. I love it, but every so often a co-worker needs to use my keyboard to enter their password. We're all programmers so I expect most of them are generally decent typists, but apparently entering something like "8-!D[tB&^A" without the letters is actually pretty hard...
Load More Replies...I did this to my mom like 20 years ago. I thought it would throw her off because she wasn't very computer literate, but she didn't even notice because she could touch type from her typewriting secretary days. I, on the other hand, could not use the computer till I fixed the keyboard.
Well no because it's just the top not the buttons themself so it would type normally and also I assume this was on his phone because of the picture
Load More Replies...Switch his to a Dvorak keyboard in retaliation. https://www.dvorak-keyboard.com
No, switch his to a stenography keyboard and remove all evidence of the chords.
Load More Replies...i learned to touch type a long ass time ago... doubt i would even notice until i am copying something from a sheet i am holding in one hand and one hand typing
i do that at work so no one touches my workspace with their germy fingers......
Cursed_banana
IM ON THE BUS TO SCHOOL AND I LAUGHED SO HARD I ALMOST CHOKED LMAOOOO
I am split between finding this the funniest thing I read in 2021 so far and feeling infinite sympathy for you. Let me guess, you now work someplace else...
Cursed Zodiac Sign
Just do the same but don't only use standard zodiac signs, also aim for your chinese birthsign etc. You'd have an excuse for every shitty behaviour and beat them on their own game like in "my Mordorian zodiac is the big eye so I'm can't help but starring rudely..." @_@
Or for Chinese zodiac. "Sorry, I was born in the year of the monkey, so I can't help throwing my own s**t everywhere."
Load More Replies...Cursed_lungs
Cursed_emojis
Cursed_build-A-Bear
I hate to say this, but this is a very popular headcanon in the Transformers fandom.
Cursed Weight Loss
Cursed Shoelaces
Cursed_readiness
Well you're not staying up late, you're staying up early.
Load More Replies...Well, the set of people going to bed late includes people who work too much and people with insomnia - i.e., people who get less sleep than they should. If you split up "people who go to bed late because that's their preferred schedule" and "people who go to bed late despite being tired", I'm sure you'd find out that the problem is with not getting enough sleep, not with going to bed late...
If I stay up late in order to shorten my lifespan, is it considered suicide? I want to die, but the pope said suicide is a sin, so I'm f****d.
Good question. Is it considered suicide to stay up late to shorten your life span? I think no.
Load More Replies...i just realized that it's funny because he posted it at 12:04 am. jeez.
Cursed_jesus
It's because of WHERE he was from. Jerusalem (especially at that time) had no white people. And they ethnically looked like their forensic picture.
Load More Replies...Cursed_sermon
Cursed Disabled Man
I love this photo! Probably made that guys lifelong dream to crowd surf come true!
Cursed_throw
Cursed_alabama
whyyyyyyyyy whyyyyyyyy whyyyyyyy whyyyyyy whyyyyy whyyyy whyyy whyy why
since incest is technically not illegal in Alabama (i think), there's lots of jokes on the internet about the two of those things being connected. hope this helps :)
Load More Replies...Cursed Tongue
Cursed_equality
Bisexual people livers sell for about £200,000
Load More Replies...Cursed Insulin Substitute
You may laugh now, but when the pilot suffers from acute ketoacidosis mid-flight and plows the gunship into the ground, diabetes will get the last laugh.
Load More Replies...Please check your facts before you spread fake news: 'The National Association of Community Health Centers said in its own statement that "overall prices of insulin and Epipens across the country are not affected by the Trump Administration regulation or the recent action by the Biden Administration."'
Load More Replies...Cursed_magnesium
Cursed_snack
Uhm... burn it! I think it's a hyalomma tick and those buggers not just wait till you walk by but actively hunt their prey (you) over hundreds of meters...
Cursed_valentine's Day
Cursed_shiny
You can also increase the odds of a shiny hatching from an egg if the egg was made with two pokemon from different versions of the game (like, a Japanese Pikachu from a Japanese version of the game and a Spanish Pikachu from the Spanish version of the game).
Load More Replies...Lmao the first image is what I thought until I was like ten. I kinda prefer it to the alternative tho ;-;
Cursed_thanks
It is illegal to tie a noose in some places but if you wind it around less you may be able to avoid committing a felony. L̶i̶f̶e̶ death hack
Load More Replies...My friend used to sing that when we tried to hang a chew toy. Don't ask.
Load More Replies...Cursed_choice
Cursed Love
They became a couple in the special episode "Act Your Age", when Ferb was 18, never before. It took two minutes for me to find that.
They also deliberately never clarified how old Phineas and Ferb were when they were younger.
Load More Replies...Cursed_rides
Cursed_autobots
This is really ruining my favorite franchise...
Load More Replies...what if a centaur and a mermaid have a baby and the baby gets the human half of both and is now just some random person
then theres a half fish half horse. id hope the horse end is on top, but the alternative isnt too bad
Load More Replies...I have laughed out loud more today than I have in a while, thank you pandas!
Couldn't agree more, this is why I love visiting this page while at work 😆
Load More Replies...Well done, Pandas! I kept thinking your comments were part of the joke. You guys are funny!
Why do people who post "?" get downvoted? I mean, I assume its just because they don't get the joke or don't understand the post, and are hoping someone will explain it to them. Why do they get downvotes?
you know its said we on the internet always go to posts that resemble us...
Load More Replies...what if a centaur and a mermaid have a baby and the baby gets the human half of both and is now just some random person
then theres a half fish half horse. id hope the horse end is on top, but the alternative isnt too bad
Load More Replies...I have laughed out loud more today than I have in a while, thank you pandas!
Couldn't agree more, this is why I love visiting this page while at work 😆
Load More Replies...Well done, Pandas! I kept thinking your comments were part of the joke. You guys are funny!
Why do people who post "?" get downvoted? I mean, I assume its just because they don't get the joke or don't understand the post, and are hoping someone will explain it to them. Why do they get downvotes?
you know its said we on the internet always go to posts that resemble us...
Load More Replies...
