Despite access to thousands of people’s life experiences, we tend to not really understand something until it happens to us. There is really no proper substitute for just living through something, but the magic of the internet allows us to at least try.
Someone asked “What’s a truth about aging that no one prepared you for?” and netizens shared the surprising examples. So get comfortable as you read through, upvote your favorite stories and be sure to share your own experiences, ideas and thoughts in the comments section below.
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I’m 61 and sometimes I feel like this world is not for me anymore. I feel almost like an imposter. For example, I can’t find clothes I like that fit correctly, tv is abhorrent, only old music sounds pleasant, shoes are uncomfortable, I don’t recognize most celebrities or famous people in the news or tabloids, and I don’t understand the need for most new and supposedly exciting products.
I’m an educated person, I still work and have an active life. I’m not a recluse. But a little at a time, I feel the world is moving on without me. I finally understand why, in her final years, my mother only watched movies from the 1950s and reminisced about the past more than she talked about the present. Her world was long gone.
Like OP, I'm active, but I'm 73 and am getting tired of trying to keep up with all the changes.
The world becomes more beautiful and people become less necessary.
In retirement I am finding out that human contact is crucial to keep the brain functioning well.
How much I don’t give a f**k anymore! In a good way.
I stopped wearing makeup, stopped straightening my wavy hair and let it go natural, and wear clothes that fit well and are comfortable, regardless of whether they’re in style. I don’t chase fads anymore, because I know what I like and what my particular style is.i stopped trying to be what I thought I should be, and started cultivating who I actually am—-and always was tbh, even back in the day when it didn’t make me very popular—-which is a whip smart, funny, nice looking woman who doesn’t take s**t from anyone, and has no qualms about calling them out for it. Love me or love me not. I’m not going to beg you to change your mind. I’m just as happy in my own company as I am in the company of others. I like the real me, now that I found her.
Your body really does just start hurting out of nowhere.
By family history, I should have died twenty years ago. So any current aches and pains seem like small time wannabes.
You will realize that you hate planning meals and making food every single day. It's boring and to easy to fall into monotony. But you have to make lunch again and then plan for dinner again then make dinner again and what do you want to eat tomorrow so you plan for breakfast tomorrow and get up and make breakfast again and then plan for lunch again.....
I am so tired of planning and making food.
This is why there's been so many days I've lived off of take aways, mac n' cheese and just buying whatever looks interesting at the grocery store just to bring it home and let that eggplant sit to mold.
Just how horrid menopause is and how little the medical community cares about how much you're suffering.
How your mind stays young while your body starts to slow down. You still feel like the same person you’ve always been but suddenly you notice little things changing.
Kremidas:
When I turned 40 I was asked by a younger person what that felt like. I told them I just feel like a 27 year old who has been hanging around and doing stuff for 13 years.
Repetitive movements, over-exertion, pushing your body to it's limits catch up to you in seemingly small ways that end up with big problems, such as physiotherapy and surgeries. It could be wearing the wrong size, wrong fitted shoes for years. Trying to crack your back by twisting around. To an untreated issue you've been holding off forever. Take care of yourself now so you can enjoy a good retirement later.
One recommendation: swimming. No joint impact, works every muscle, negates the bad effects of gravity on one's spine, no sweating involved, the best aerobic exercise over all, and fun.
Load More Replies...I've been working construction my whole working life. Outside in the blistering heat, freezing cold, pushing my body to its limits. Everything hurts now. I can no longer take the heat,this past summer was the worst I've ever been thru and in the winter Everything hurts even more than normally.
Doors start closing once you reach a certain age.
Frozboz:
Ageism is real. I just turned 50 and am in a young person's career (software development). I feel how hiring managers look at me when asked to turn my camera on, during an interview that was going very well and suddenly it's "we'll get back to you".
Isn't ageism illegal when interviewing? I this treatment being 40 at work. It's not so much they won't hire me or look at me as too old. More like, my younger manager tries too hard to one-up me, either ignores me when I tell her I need to ease up on my tasks so I don't injure myself or turns it into a personal comparison. "I did it alone when I was in your position. And I was pregnant." And I also get the "You need to watch your tone. That's part of growing up, you know. Learning how to control how you sound to others." Then 30 seconds later shouts at the other team while laying an F bomb. Yeah, real mature. /s I mentioned this to my mom. She told me she's gotten the same treatment at her jobs, telling me that people are intimidated by strong women who command boundaries. Not sure if she's entirely right that it's just something fellow women experience as we get older, or if men experience it as well. But I do get the authoritive, firm tone=b***h mentality unfairly placed on women. js
Time f*****g flies.
nor_cal_woolgrower:
The days are long but the years fly by.
This. As I'm writing this, how the hell is it September already?! Seems like in the blink of an eye, it'll be Christmas again... (not that I have a problem with that, but the fleetingness of time is unsettling sometmes)
How much time you wasted in your life trying to make others like you.
I don't.. I treat people how they treat me. So if they are nice/supportive during hard times as well as good times etc... Then it's no trouble for me to be nice and support them during their hard times and good times. If I don't bother with someone (Family included) because they treat me badly.. So in that respect, it's not a waste.
Time for the hard truth.
One day, and yes it will happen to you, you will see a box... and you won't just throw it away because IT'S A REALLY USEFUL BOX.
My wife is 35. We have...just so many f*****g boxes, broken down and stuck in the garage "just in case" I was in the garage a couple weeks ago, and discovered a box (filled with other boxes) from FOURTEEN YEARS AGO. Why do i know it's from 14 years ago? Because it's something we bought the first week i moved here. It's a sickness, and it's avoidable.
Adults aren't real. At least not in the way they're viewed when you're a kid.
When you're a kid you can't wait to "grow up" and then you do and you're still you, just older. That voice inside your head doesn't change, but what you see in the mirror does. Only now you're just older and saddled with bills and stress and all of life's "surprises".
On top of this, everyone is winging it. Absolutely everyone. Because the idea of order and a civilized society is an illusion. We're all playing by made up rules and making imaginary money and all the rest of it. A one dollar bill costs just as much to print as a hundred dollar bill. Hell, ONE HUNDRED THOUSAND DOLLAR BILLS used to be a thing (not in circulation, but they still represented their face value). Same principle applies.
In short, everyone is just doing whatever until we die.
The kids don't realize that birth to around 21 years old will have been the longest part of your life. The rest comes fast and hard.
I'd just turned 40 and wasn't happy about it when I happened to talk to a couple in their 80s. Oh 40 they said, eyes misting up. What I wouldn't give to be 40 again. Made me feel better and now that I'm 60 I'm beginning to see their point of view.
You start to realize the older you get that the end is closer than the beginning and you still feel like you have so much more to do.
It’s really lonely being an adult. I mean you have friends and co workers etc but it’s just incredibly lonely because you only ever have surface level conversations with most people.
The fatigue.
Resistant-Insomnia:
I haven't felt rested in over ten years. Always tired. The moment I open my eyes I'm exhausted.
How much it hurts to fall.
I fell off the roof of a house as a kid and just got up and walked away.
Now I'm careful when stepping off of a tall curb...
Hair grows where you don't want it and falls out where you wanted it.
Things that seemed so important when you were younger, really are not important.
No one prepared me for how much energy and time it takes to maintain everything—like health, relationships, and just staying organized. It’s way more work than I expected!
Starting in my 40s, things started taking a little longer to do. At the same time, my physical and mental energy started to slowly decrease. In my 60s I just can't do as much as quickly. Also I take naps.
It will hit you unexpectedly, you think you're still young but your body just won't cooperate and will show some signs.
It's not just you who is getting old.
Your parents are getting even older.
And then they die, and you realize you're on the frontline, now, the next one to go.
Remember when you were younger and you'd ask your Dad: "What's wrong?" And he'd say: "Idk, I must've slept funny."
That's you now.
The real question is how many times did you have to get up to go to the bathroom?
The point where you start evaluating friendships and find that most friendships are merely transactional. I've dropped a lot of "friends".
Waking up at least twice a night to pee.
Don't forget the time you lay there contemplating if you should get out of bed or not hoping you can hold it in. You can't and you eventually get up and do your business.
Your face looks older than your body, your soul feels younger than your mind ...
That it seems to happen overnight.
I was young the day before yesterday.
I'm turning 60 in two months.
WTF.
I had my 61st birthday last month. Being 60, the 'Big Six-O', didn't feel so bad, 'hey I made it to 60' - now however I'm 'in my sixties' - not so keen on that feeling.
When you get a flashback of a good memory and you realize that was over 10 years ago.
Bonschenverwerter:
I saw a former classmate the other day. Did the maths and realized I hadn't seen them in about 20 years. I'm only 35.
Has a dream about a year ago, where I walked down the stairs in the house I live in now, which is not my childhood home btw, and when I got to the living room, there were all my brothers—-I’m the baby and only girl, my brothers were between 9 and 18 years older than me—-but they were all young men, about the ages they were when I was about 12. I’m 63 now, so that means they looked like they did 50 years ago. That’s also the way they look in my mind’s eye, like they’re fixed in my memory like it’s 1972. The feelings in the dream were warm and happy, and we were all smiling and talking and having a great time. That’s my only memory of the dream. It was nice to be all together again, because of my four older brothers, only one is still living. That’s the hardest part of growing old.
Healthy living is just one part of living longer. Genetics and environmental influences are the two other puzzle pieces.
Healthy living only gets you so far. The last three funerals I went to were for people in really amazing shape before their illness/death. Cancer, cancer, heart attack.
Absolutely, do all you can, but denial of mortality isn't helpful as you age.
I freely admit I'm old and am going to die at some point. I accept it and life is so much more relaxed.
I started to appreciate lonelines and peace. Priceless..
Retired, lots of free time and no stress. Bored out of my mind. But there is always that nagging thought wondering when the next health crisis will hit me.
Household appliances start getting really exciting. Had a vacuum delivered a couple of months ago, it arrived while we had dinner guests and everyone was super excited lol.
I'm middle aged and a funny thing is the way younger people get self-conscious or apologize when there is no need. For example, they will apologize for swearing around me or mentioning something like (gasp) drinking, or d***s, or sleeping around. I think it's funny. Why would being on earth longer make me easier to scandalize? I've seen and done things that would shock them, lol, but to them I'm a very proper looking classy older lady.
That's the least of my complaints. If someone of the younger generation showed me that sort of respect, it shows they have been brought up with a decent amount of respect and consideration. I'm more bothered with coming across younger people who behave recklessly around older and disabled people who can't move as quickly. But that's not limited to older people. My daughter walks with a cane due to lingering injury last year. Some jerk on a scooter swerved within inches towards her, on purpose, with a sarcastic "excuse me". It's painful enough for her to walk. Sorry for the tangent, but that s**t pisses me off. Everyone can always practice using tact and consideration unto others, regardless of age.
If you choose not to have kids, you may end up losing your friends. I turn 40 this year, and my partner and I don't see many folks these days. Parents like to hang out with other parents. And I don't have a grudge, I totally see the value for playdates, etc. But it can be a little lonely.
It will only be a problem if you let it. I don't have kids - a lot of my friends have kids and we still have lots of interactions. You do have to be prepared to work around the kids - you don't get exclusive access to your friends, but you do get to be "Uncle/Auntie", which can be pretty awesome.
Everybody thinks you're respectable if you keep a rose garden and a vegetable garden...
...no matter what you used to do at Burning Man.
That as a woman your value completely disappears, no matter quantity nor quality of whatever you happen to have to offer. Freshness is forever gone and believe me, it shows.
Stop believing you have value just because you're young and female at any time. Anyone who says otherwise isn't really valuing you in the sense you would like them to. Be very aware of that.
For me it's that you lose motivation to do things. You think you will always be chasing the newest travels, the best places, the hottest guys, but I've found these things start to become very unimportant later. For me also chasing relationships, romantic ones especially but also friendships, I enjoy my alone time more and more and romantic relationships are absolutely not on my radar anymore. Your wants and needs change!
Everyone on earth relies on you in your 40's and 50's. A mid-life crisis has nothing to do with you. It's about your kids and your parents and your in-laws all relying on you emotionally, mentally, and financially. It can be exhausting.
You start to tolerate rough emotional states, such as crippling anxiety. You will still feel it 100% but you somehow learn to just live with it. When younger, the feeling was just unbearable and impossible to go through without taking some actions or it having an enormous toll on your everyday life. Nobody prepared me for this, the quiet tolerance of inner pain.
You'll never have those yearly 3 month summer breaks ever again.
I remember how sobering and weird it was having a job and not having all those breaks again. The hardest was working up until Christmas Day, and then being back on Boxing Day. I made a point to book my vacation days during Christmas week. I don't do that now. I'm at a job where I'm off Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and Boxing Day. It still feels unnatural. Same with working on the weekends, particularly Sunday. I'm not religious. It just always felt like a day of rest.
How much I wish I had been more understanding and loving with my parents and grandparents. They have been gone for years but I still tear up when I think about things I did or said - or didn’t do or say. “I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger”.
I see it as a 2 way street. Do enough to reach out only until you find they are not reciprocating. If they reach out sometimes but not often, then do the same. Some people just don't have it in them to keep in constant touch.
Saw the recent study where you age significantly at 44 and again at 60. I got hit hard at 62, my energy level has dropped significantly. I’m working out harder and eating better and taking all the vitamins. Losing energy is such a bummer.
Same here. From age 62 to age 68 my spine blew out five disks. Now with all the daily exercise at age 70 the spine seems to have stabilized.
Your energy and motivation generally decline as you get older.
I never understood it as a kid, but now I do when my parents and other adults around me told me to "study hard in school" or "work on extracurriculars", while I'm young, because looking back, I don't think I could even last a week in that grind now, let alone for several years.
There are exceptions though, and more power to them but I think many of us can agree it's much harder once you're older from a motivation and energy standpoint (e.g. people going to higher education at age 40 is much harder than age 20, learning how to drive at age 40 is much harder than age 20, etc.).
Getting out of bed is harder at age 70 than at age 40. Finding a reason to do so is even harder.
I just had to ask the waiter to read me the jelly packets because I forgot my reading glasses. 🤣.
I get my daughter to read me the small prints on the menu boards. She's got magnified glasses. She sees the tiniest bugs on the walls, too.
The perception of time changes.
When i was a child a decade felt like eternity. A decade now feels like 3 years. as you get older time feels faster. I thought it would always feel the same constantly and literally 1 day im 18 and blinked and now im 32.
If this rate is true im guessing ill be 40 next year.
At some point, you will have your last pain-free day.
And good luck if you need to get any sort of pain killers from a doctor, in the US at least. Our government overreacted to the Opioid Crisis by going after doctors instead of the illegal street drüg dealers. The CDC Opioid guidelines were taken as gospel by the lawmakers and insurance companies. They have since revised them, which still doesn't fix what they broke, and it's all too little too late for those who need prescription opioids for any sort of quality of life.
You become invisible to much of society.
mosquem:
People in their early 30s have this weird right now because the peak of our social influence was cut off at the knees by COVID, and by the time we were out of it Gen Z was taking over.
But that's a good thing - you just go about doing your business being you.
The fact that one day you will s**t your pants because farts become untrustworthy little jerks.
Bonus truth: Hangovers are also worse.
You never feel “grown up”. Even though I have adult children, I am still my mother’s daughter. Even though I have a house, car, and great job I still feel like I am learning how to navigate life.
That is because every era of your life you encounter new problems. You have to continually adapt to the new failing body and your new less efficient brain functions.
Ego death and identity crisis.
I lived a wild ride through my 20's and 30's and it's happened a few times in minor ways.
But nothing like right now, a few months shy of turning 40 and everything feels so different and like I don't know where I fit.
This world is not for me. This country is not for me. This city is not for me. Not sure where I belong, but it's not here.
That you can f**k up your shoulder by playing air guitar to the point that you need steroid injections.
True story.
Clothes just don’t fit like they used to!
I've lost 15 pounds in the last six weeks. No idea why or how, but I suspect it's the physical therapy I'm in.
Things like drinking, eating unhealthily, smoking, spending ... they will catch up.
When you're young you think you're different, or you think that when it does catch up you'll be old so who cares, I won't care when I'm old anyway.
You will care though. You'll still be you. Those things won't seem like an issue right up to the moment they are. And then it's too late to take them back.
Put more simply: the years will f*****g *fly* by. So, so fast.
Or, like me, you'll accept that you damn well earned all the problems and had a great time doing it.
How the desire to get into woodcrafting grows each year.
I had open heart surgery at 36. Two years on, the toll it’s taken on my body is unreal. I look old, my skin has started to crepe, I’m tired ALL THE TIME, my hair is turning white. I didn’t expect any of this.
Your gums change colour and grow weird spurs. Not me freaking myself out with Dr Google and wasting £100 for a dentist to tell me "yeah, that happens" 😂.
As a woman: how many younger dudes start fetishising you as this p*rn stereotype milf-cougar-thing.
I was always told I'd become invisible once I hit a certain age. I was not told about the horde of horny twenty-year-olds who suddenly descended on me the day I got my first grey hair.
It's not just me either, I'm pretty mediocre-looking. This just seems to be a common experience for women over like 30 or over 35ish.
I’ve reached a sad inflection point where I’m attending more funerals than weddings. I need to get a new black suit because I’ve become too fat. On a positive note, friends are starting to welcome grandchildren into the world. Life goes on.
Navy blue. Go with dark navy blue. It is the new black in mourning clothes.
The key to aging healthily is to get your hormones checked and balanced.
Sometimes it hurts to move as you get older. But if you don’t move and work on strength - you’re going to hurt significantly more.
The body does want to heal itself. That healing process gets slower as we age. Movement, eating healthy foods, fighting inflammation, and keeping your hormones balanced are keys.
If you’re a women over the age of 35 - you must be your own advocate at the doctor’s office. Get your hormones checked and go on hormone replacement therapy as soon as you can. Perimenopause is no joke. It’s often dismissed by doctors. If you don’t get it treated, you will lose years of your life to discomfort.
Gaslighting at the doctor's office is real. Insurance companies who deny further testing because your symptoms are not sever enough. Struggling for over 25 years only to be told over and over that it is psychosomatic (all in your head) or you are malingering. Guess what? It is MS. Yup, Multiple Sclerosis. Now you fight with insurance for a wheelchair.
I can no longer eat a full Deep Dish pizza I’ve had switch it up to Thin n Crispy. Even then it’s touch n go if I manage to finish it.
Eating any wheat or simple carbs create such an extreme glucose swing and the accompanying insulin reaction that I feel comatose in a half an hour after eating any.
Once your brain tells your feet to walk to the bathroom you have 26.8 seconds to get there, or…… womp womp.
When, if ever I go anywhere, I make sure there's a bathroom nearby...always.
I'm mid 40s. I used to always think aging is a mindset and for the most part I still do.
I also used to think I wouldn't be someone who lamented about aging. I felt I was better than that. Yet here I am in the last year bothered by it a lot. It's not that I even look particularly bad or aged, but we are so surrounded by people selling us things, people getting Botox and fillers. It can be defeating.
Being stuck between worrying about aging parents and kids, that for a lot of us in this age range, are worrying about teens/young adults. I didn't expect to worry more about my kids as they got older.
Boomer parents living longer than grandparents. Gen X parents without retirement savings needing a care facility. Children are so much more outrageously expensive. I look at the younger parents today and I do not know how they can manage.
The recovery period. I like to say that I can still do almost all the things I used to when I was young, but not as often, and usually not two days in a row. At 20 I could wake up at 6, play tennis until noon, eat a whole pizza for lunch, wait 20 minutes then go play a baseball game, ride my bike 20 miles, come home eat a steak, then go out dancing for the evening and come home at 3 a.m.. Then get up the next morning and do it all over. Today, doing that two days in a row might kill me, if I could even get out of bed the next day.
At 74, I can still do most of the what I could ever do, but it takes longer and hurts more.
As much as you dreamt about being an adult and being older so you could do whatever you wanted, some days, you'd give anything to go back to being a kid.
Parents never really stop parenting their kids, even when their kids have adult children they are parenting, too.
Worst thing for me is the change in eyesight - I've always been short sighted but used to having really good eyesight for close detail, now it's hard reading labels or even focusing on the car radio information when driving with my specs on.
I won't give in and get varifocals quite yet though.
47. My optometrist told me that virtually everyone needs readers at or around 47. It's one of those equalizing moments where if you thought you special, different or "immortal until proven otherwise" as I used to like to say, you have another bit of evidence that your body will decline and eventually return to the soil - just like everyone else.
Your knees get weaker and your tolerance for alcohol goes down. People warn you about this nowadays, but I feel like those things don’t sink in until you feel them physically.
I never expected the strength in my legs and knees to just disappear so quickly, in my mid 50's. Now, trying to figure out how to get it back at 60....
It's sad. Your folks get old and can pass at any moment. My dad passed suddenly 3 days ago. It's hard.
You spend your entire life fighting against the war culture, championing social causes, championing women's rights, championing gender rights, championing environmental causes, and then you come to Bored Panda and have people call you a Boomer in an ugly way.
Keep fighting the good fights. And don't give energy to ugliness spewed by internet randos.
Load More Replies...The secret to youth is NOT letting that number define you. I'll be 60 next month. I have a skateboard, I listen to Slayer loud as hell. The first steps ARE like Forrest Gump with the leg braces on, but then I can still fly pretty good. Just do what you do and stop worrying about the number. It's NOT who you are. My kids tell people I'm the real Peter Pan. The most difficult part is caring. I put on weight, I need to drop it off, but mehhh, whatever - is a the beginning of the downturn. If you can avoid that procrastination, keep your mind and body healthy and just live your life, you'll be fine
A lifetime supply of some random item doesn't have to take as much space as it used to.
I'm having a real problem with aging. I mean, all of it, it's just so overwhelming. I know I can't change it, it happens to us all, but it often makes me feel anxious and afraid. Don't really know where I was going with all that, but it's the first time I've acknowledged it out loud, so to speak.
My HS 40th reunion is in a month. In my head, we are all still girls. It went so fast.
A modern lifetime in the USA told by the cars we drive. 16=almost anything. 21=fast, sporty, eye catching. 30=minivan. 50=fast, sporty eye-catching. 60=back to minivan to haul around your elderly parents and their wheelchairs/walkers to doctor appointments and what not. Right now, I don't know what comes next. I just know that cars low to the ground are out. My knees.
From what I read; all is true. Death is part of living. If one lives long enough, something is going to get you. I never thought about my body dying from within. My wife lost interest in me after 52 years (and 2 retirements) of marriage. Use it or lose it is very true. I have survived a heart attack, lung cancer, and 3 strokes in the last 2 years. Don't expect this old man to learn how to work the ball and chain (mobile phone). Death will be a new adventure.
It's sad. Your folks get old and can pass at any moment. My dad passed suddenly 3 days ago. It's hard.
You spend your entire life fighting against the war culture, championing social causes, championing women's rights, championing gender rights, championing environmental causes, and then you come to Bored Panda and have people call you a Boomer in an ugly way.
Keep fighting the good fights. And don't give energy to ugliness spewed by internet randos.
Load More Replies...The secret to youth is NOT letting that number define you. I'll be 60 next month. I have a skateboard, I listen to Slayer loud as hell. The first steps ARE like Forrest Gump with the leg braces on, but then I can still fly pretty good. Just do what you do and stop worrying about the number. It's NOT who you are. My kids tell people I'm the real Peter Pan. The most difficult part is caring. I put on weight, I need to drop it off, but mehhh, whatever - is a the beginning of the downturn. If you can avoid that procrastination, keep your mind and body healthy and just live your life, you'll be fine
A lifetime supply of some random item doesn't have to take as much space as it used to.
I'm having a real problem with aging. I mean, all of it, it's just so overwhelming. I know I can't change it, it happens to us all, but it often makes me feel anxious and afraid. Don't really know where I was going with all that, but it's the first time I've acknowledged it out loud, so to speak.
My HS 40th reunion is in a month. In my head, we are all still girls. It went so fast.
A modern lifetime in the USA told by the cars we drive. 16=almost anything. 21=fast, sporty, eye catching. 30=minivan. 50=fast, sporty eye-catching. 60=back to minivan to haul around your elderly parents and their wheelchairs/walkers to doctor appointments and what not. Right now, I don't know what comes next. I just know that cars low to the ground are out. My knees.
From what I read; all is true. Death is part of living. If one lives long enough, something is going to get you. I never thought about my body dying from within. My wife lost interest in me after 52 years (and 2 retirements) of marriage. Use it or lose it is very true. I have survived a heart attack, lung cancer, and 3 strokes in the last 2 years. Don't expect this old man to learn how to work the ball and chain (mobile phone). Death will be a new adventure.
