Here’s a picture - four legs with cleft hooves, dark disheveled coat, eyes with pupils resembling caterpillars, a devilish bleating, sharp horns, and vile odor. No, it’s not the devil; it’s just a mere, meek, and incredibly cute goat! Although their abilities to climb smooth surfaces and scare the crap out of everyone with their screams do seem a bit supernatural, there’s nothing really demonic about them. Unless that is, you count the devilishly funny puns dedicated to these small ruminants. And dedicate some clever puns we will - a whole article packed with only the best goat puns!
Want something to share at a dinner table while eating Fromage au lait de chèvre? We goat you there - several of our hilarious puns are more than suitable to enhance anyone’s appetite during the entree part of your meal (well, laughter is, a physical activity, after all). Or maybe you are looking for an original pun to impress your date with? Then there’s definitely no need to look for that on the Baaaa-chelor show when you can easily scroll down below and just pick one from our list. A goat pun for every occasion, every humor preference, and every important moment of your life.
Now, just scroll down below, and check out the silly puns for yourself. And we kid you not, there are some pretty cool wordplays! Once you’ve read all 147 of them, tell us which ones you liked the most by commenting or upvoting. Also, share this magnificent article with your friends - they’ll be bleating from joy after receiving it!
What do you call a goat who can play the piano?
Billy Joel.
Report
As two hungry goats were eating movie film stock, one turned to the other and said, “I don’t know about you, but I thought the book was better.”
Report
Where do you find a goat with no legs?
Right where you left it.
Report
What do you get when you cross a rabbit and a goat?
You get a hare in your milk.
Report
What do you call a goat swimming really fast in a lake?
A motor goat.
Report
I let my goats get whatever they want; I spoil them rotten. I guess you could say I have a bleeting heart.
Report
What did the bald goat say when he looked in the mirror?
“I wish I had mohair!”
Report
What is a little goat’s favorite nursery rhyme to sing?
“Row, Row, Row Your Goat.”
Report
What is a mountain goat called?
A hillbilly.
Report
What did the goat say about her veggies?
“These are so baaaaad!”
Report
What do you call a goat that works in a donut shop?
A battering ram.
Report
Which singer do goats always listen to?
Billy Ray Cyrus.
Report
What did the little goats say when they were caught playing a prank on the sheep?
Sorry, we were just kidding.
Report
What did the goat say when he woke up on a train?
I have no idea how I goat here.
Report
What’s the definition of butter?
An angry goat.
Report
A goat, a drum, and a snake fell off a cliff… Baa dum ssss.
Report
Where do goat journalists usually work?
Bleat Street.
Report
What reality show did the goat go on to find love?
The Baaaa-chelor.
Report
What does the goat call a furiendly meet up?
A goat-together.
Report
What did the sheep say when the billy ate her dinner?
You have goat to be kidding me.
Report
What’s a sporty goat’s go-to drink?
Goat-arade.
Report
What TV show do goats enjoy watching with their families?
America’s Goat Talent.
Report
What is a goat’s beard called?
A goatee!
Report
Why do goats hate waiting in line at the post office?
Nobody’s goat time for that!
Report
What is a napping baby goat called?
A kid-napper.
Report
Which artist do goats love the most?
Vincent Van Goat.
Report
You herd it here first.
Report
Where did the goat go to get his hair trimmed?
The baaaa-ber.
Report
You had me from the goat-go.
Report
What kind of music do goats listen to?
Baaa-ch!
Report
What do you call a royal goat wearing denim?
Billy Jean King.
Report
Why did the ram run over the cliff edge?
Because he didn’t see the ewe turn.
Report
What do you call a goat swimming in the sea?
Billy Ocean.
Report
What do you call a Spanish goat with no hind legs?
Gracias.
Report
When milking a nervous goat, you should use kid gloves.
Report
Where does an angry goat write down its problems?
On the ram-page.
Report
What do you call a goat that enjoys cleaning?
A room-baaaaa.
Report
The terrible billy forgoat his kid’s birthday.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite quote?
No goats, no glory.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite game?
Grand Thooft Auto.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite designer?
Jean Paul Goatier.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite film?
The Goatfather.
Report
What did the billy say to the suspicious doe?
“I’ve never even seen herbivore!”
Report
What does a goat call his pals?
Furiends.
Report
Billy is the perfect name for a newborn goat. As a child, it’ll be “Billy the Kid.” As an adult, it’ll be “Billy Goat.”
Report
What does a goat usually have for breakfast?
Goat-meal.
Report
Why are goats from France more musical than ones from America?
They have French horns.
Report
What did the goat that hated celebrating Christmas say?
“Baaaa-humbug.”
Report
What do goats say when they trick their parents?
“I was just kidding!”
Report
What’s a goat’s favorite cheese?
Goata.
Report
How do you keep a fashionable goat from charging?
You cut up her credit cards.
Report
What did the kid say when he pranked his parents?
“Goatcha!”
Report
What does a goat say when he has to repeat himself?
“Here we goat again.”
Report
What can you look at if you want to see a goat’s family tree?
A goat of arms.
Report
What did the mama goat say to her kids?
“I need a nanny goat!”
Report
What did the boy goat tell his friend when he saw a past crush?
“She’s the one that goat away.”
Report
Why were the kids mad at each other?
They goat into a fight.
Report
What is a goat dressed as a clown called?
A silly billy.
Report
Why is it hard to carry on a conversation with a goat?
Because they are always butting in.
Report
What do you call a goat who is in charge of a university?
Billy Dean.
Report
What do you call a lazy goat?
Billy Idle.
Report
What do you call an immature goat?
A silly billy.
Report
Why was the farmer angry?
Because someone got his goat.
Report
Doctor, doctor, I keep thinking I’m a goat.
How long has this been going on?
Since I was a kid.
Report
Is a goat that eats office supplies on a staple diet?
Report
What do you call a South American, goat-killing monster with a cold?
Achoopacabra.
Report
What did Bill Murray say when he visited the haunted farm?
I ain’t afraid of no goats.
Report
Why did the farmer stop stuffing goats into his truck?
There was no more ruminant.
Report
What do you get when you ask a goat to DJ at your party?
A sick bleat.
Report
How do you stop a goat from charging?
Unplug it.
Report
What did the goat who was very bored, say?
Meh!
Report
What’s the optimistic goat’s motto?
Things can only get feta.
Report
The goat travelled from one end of Britain to the other. Land’s End to John o’Goats.
Report
What’s a goat’s worst habit?
Butting in.
Report
Why did the goat apply a bandage to the wound?
To stop the bleating!
Report
How does the goat get out of an awkward conversation?
“Oh no, I’ve goat to go!”
Report
What did the little goat say to the farmer at dinnertime?
“Pygmy, pygmy first!”
Report
How does goat’s milk taste?
Udderly delicious!
Report
The goat would ruminant over his past mistakes.
Report
Where can you find the most-evolved goats?
The Galapagoats.
Report
What's the best butter on the farm?
A goat.
Report
Did you hear the one about the guy who herds baby goats for a living - he's great with kids.
Report
Goat-puns aren't all baaa-d you know.
Report
What musical do goats watch over and over again?
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamgoat.
Report
Which president did the goat like the most?
Billy Clinton.
Report
What’s a goat’s favorite chick flick?
Something’s Goatta Give.
Report
What video game are goats amazing at?
Mario Goat Cart!
Report
What did the employer tell the interviewee?
“You goat the job!”
Report
You’ve goat to be kidding me.
Report
Why did the goat end up crashing into the wall?
She didn’t see the ewe turn.
Report
What do you call a goat that lip-syncs?
Billy Vanilli.
Report
What do mountain climbers share around the campfire?
Goat Stories!
Report
If a young goat learns a martial art, are they a karate kid?
Report
I told my parents I wanted to raise goats for a living, but I was only kidding.
Report
What did Scrooge see when he spent the festive season on the farm?
The goats of Christmas past.
Report
How does a goat sign his Christmas cards?
Season’s bleatings.
Report
How did the police goat get a confession?
He interrogoated the suspect.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite sports position?
Goatkeeper.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite instrument?
A goatar.
Report
What happened when the party was crashed?
It goat out of hand.
Report
What do you call a goat trying to procreate?
A mounting goat.
Report
What did the goat say when he looked in the mirror?
Halloumi.
Report
Who’s the biggest business mogul in the goat world?
Bill Goats.
Report
What did the whistle-blower goat say to the reporter?
“Don’t goat me on that.”
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite musical?
The Goatest Showman.
Report
Why did the goat go to the library?
To return a buck.
Report
Why was the billy goat a bad manager?
He was too egoatistical.
Report
How does the goat greet his friends?
“Hay there!”
Report
What did the goat say to the cow?
They've milked us for all we're worth!
Report
I got given an adorable baby goat, but it can't bend its knees - they say it's a-cute-kid-knee disorder.
Report
A goat walks into a post office and says to the postmaster, “I need to send a telegram.”
The postmaster replies, “OK, what is it?”
The goat says, “I need it to say, ‘Maa maa maa maa maa maa maa.'”
Counting the words, the postmaster tells the goat, “Well, for the same price, I can put four more ‘maas’ for you.”
The goat looks at him and scoffs, “But then it wouldn’t make any sense!”
Report
I don’t know how I goat here.
Report
What did the mama goat and her kids do each night?
Read scary goat stories!
Report
What did the angry goat say to her husband?
“Don’t goat me started.”
Report
What do you call a young goat that knows martial arts?
A karate kid.
Report
What are a goat’s favorite song lyrics?
“I goat to get up to get down!”
Report
For goat’s sake, that’s enough.
Report
Do hairless goats wish they had mohair?
Report
I saw a cartoon portraying a politician as a goat… It was satyr.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite animal?
An alligoator.
Report
What’s a goat’s favourite hobby?
Goat Kart racing.
Report
What did the betrayed goat say?
“How could you fursake me?”
Report
What does the billy say to the badly-behaved kids?
“Have you goat anything to say for yourself?”
Report
What did the farmer say to the man who found his missing goat?
“You really got my goat!”
Report
What did the executive goat’s PA say?
“You’ve goat mail.”
Report
Whatever floats your goat!
Report
What do you call an outlaw goat?
Billy the Kid.
Report
The buck pined over his long lost love. The one that goat away.
Report
What did the goat say to the shearer?
“Cashmere if you can!”
Report
Why is it so hard to have a good conversation with a goat?
Because they’re always butting in.
Report
Why did the goat’s phone die?
Because he forgot to charge the battery.
Report
Dark Mode 
No fees, cancel anytime 
then open in external browser
and click "Open in External Browser" 
