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Relationships are never easy. Finding a person you can fully trust and rely on requires a lot of emotional strength and might cost you your nervous system. The world is full of folks with their own quirks, and not everyone tends to show all their toxic character traits in those honeymoon stages when everything is so easygoing and lovey-dovey.
There is an infamous phenomenon called "nice guy syndrome": men that frequently complain about being unlucky in love, despite their allegedly charming persona who, in fact, turn out to be significantly dreadful human beings. They are usually unbearably clingy and manipulative with their partners – when not in a relationship, they constantly get friend-zoned and love to blame the rejection on women worshipping bad guys only.
This user took it to one of Reddit's communities and asked fellow female readers to share their stories about dating those self-proclaimed "nice guys". The post received over 20K upvotes and 9.3K worth of spine-chilling and rarely happy stories.
More info: Reddit
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#1
Met a nice guy on tinder. He was really awkward with few social skills, but he had a really cute dog so I figured why not.
The entire first two months of the relationship I was terrified thinking I was being gas-lit because he was just so nice. I had a history of abusive relationships.
Two years later we are engaged, just closed on 8.5 acres of land, and discovered we are pregnant last night. He's still really awkward and his dog is still really cute.
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
Let's hope so. Mine was wonderful, the perfect gentleman right until the day we married. We left the wedding reception and he set me to work fixing his car headlamp, (why pay the garage when in a couple of days he'd have me to do it for free?) then told me I needed to sort out the blocked drain by the front door of his house when we got back from my place after spending the weekend collecting my stuff . It went downhill from there.
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Loty 3 years ago
We need more of stories like this one. Abusive men are NOT the norm by any stretch of imagination.
Geoff Horn 3 years ago
Still trying to figure out the part she regrets. Did she not want land and/or children?
shannon spann 3 years ago
I thought I was the only one that didn’t get it either.🤨
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Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago
He was probably really good to his dog, which can be a clue as to how he treats people, especially people he cares about.
Sofia Gonzalez 3 years ago
I love how you gave him a chance just because he has a cute dog! 🤣 Understandable though . . .
RELATED:
#2
Went to high school together, he was 15, I was 16. I cried on his shoulder when another guy turned me down.
Been together since high school, four adult children and four grandchildren.
We have had the best life I could ever have imagined.
Rage of Aquarius 3 years ago
I think they meant "nice guy" as in the guys who claim to be abused by women and feel they are entitled to worship.
May 3 years ago (edited)
I think this story is misplaced - it doesn't fit the headline at all. But nice to see that some nice guys are actually nice
Philip Williams 3 years ago
I think the issue is one of sexism : "some guys are actually nice." How about "some girls are actually worth marrying." How about we don't generalize in either direction against such basic immutable physical characteristics such as our sex
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Darren Reddick 3 years ago
It absolutely goes both way, I'm a nice guy and a good father, I put up with a terrible relationship with my boys mother who after 5 years I found out who she truly was as a person and she was 100% fake. I asked her to leave and told her I'm not letting my son be taken away from me I will fight you in court till I die. Long story short, she let me keep our 2 year old at the time and I also still father part time our other son of hers that's not mine biologically but I have raised him since birth because his bio dad is not in the picture. Do the math. He is now 7 soon to be 8 and he was conceived while her and I were together. But that little guy always makes me smile and I could not nor will I ever walk away from him because his mother and this guy did that they did and he ran off, it's not his fault and to him I'm dad so I choose to be and always will. I have a very hard time trusting women after that. But my boys and I are very happy. My now 5 year old is very happy living with dad
Philip Williams 3 years ago
You can actually meet them! They're everywhere- husbands, father's... Just like you can meet women who aren't cheating, broke gold diggers waiting to destroy a family in a divorce settlement after putting up with her Hell. They're everywhere- wives, mothers...
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Sirena Mares 3 years ago
Why is Bored Panda posting the responses of people who clearly didn't understand the context of the question?
#3
Basically kidnapped and kept in a basement for 24 hours. Repeatedly assaulted. Told me he'd had a vision that I was supposed to be ONE of his wives and if I didn't marry him he'd just tell everyone I seduced him and was lying about it. I let him think we were "engaged" until my out of state school transfer was accepted, then I bought a plane ticket and disappeared.
Alana Voeks 3 years ago
Exactly, this also isn't "nice guy," this is someone with some serious issues.
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Hulkfreeze 3 years ago
The reply on the original Reddit thread in regards to if she reported him says: I wasn't going to answer this at first. But a partial answer might be helpful to someone. First: I don't want to disclose anything that might point to public records. At least one victim (before me) was a minor at the time. Also, I don't want to make this about reporting. Surviving is the important part. Reporting is a deeply personal choice and no one should feel ashamed or stigmatized one way or the other. I do think we (society on or off Reddit) needs to do a better job talking about it to make reporting safer. I will confirm that I did report him to non-legal persons who were in a position to keep him away from local children and young women. I also told his supposed religious leader at the time about his visions and polygamous aspirations. Apparently blasphemy is a big deal in some circles and the burden of proof is almost non-existent. FWIW: I only did this when I felt safe enough and strong enough
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Philip Williams 3 years ago
Probably not, she said she stayed with him until she got a school transfer, then hopped on a plane. If this happened it apparently was a lunatic act in a messed up relationship
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Philip Williams 3 years ago
I would never tell anyone what to do, even if they had to do it. But please, if you escape a possible serial killer, alert authorities? This post does nothing for his and others future victims. I'm sceptical of this story for a number of reasons
#4
Self-proclaimed "nice guys" almost never are. If you're really a nice person, you don't need to advertise.
Then there are nice guys who really are nice but in an overbearing way. No girl worth being with for the long term wants to be worshipped.
I did end up marrying a truly nice guy. He made me laugh. He had his own life and didn't expect me to be his whole world, or for me to change my life for him. He didn't play games. He listened to what I had to say and didn't come to me with a lot of assumptions about who I was supposed to be. He looks out for me but knows I can look out for myself just fine. He's kind and I have never met a person who didn't like him. He doesn't advertise his "niceness" because there's no need. It would make as much sense as sunshine advertising itself.
Rens 3 years ago
You're absolutely correct, true true nice guys don't need to tell anyone but they are because they show it in their actions. After a six-year nightmare relationship with a narcissistic psychopath, I am in a relationship with a man who is exactly what a nice guy should be. He is protective without being possessive, he knows I can handle myself but he always looks out for me. He always shows me how much he appreciates everything I do - he and I are both disabled, but I do the lion's share of the the home stuff (cooking, cleaning, laundry, shopping etc). If I start spinning out or heading towards a meltdown, he talks me down, keeps me calm, and makes me feel safe. He has always been a 100% honest with me and has never given me any reason to doubt him. We have wonderful conversations and lively debates and we share a lot of things but we are also able to function separately and be our own people. Due to financial constraints were not able to live together but we do live in the same building. Both of us enjoy time together as well as time apart; when you are both in poor health, it's good to know there's somebody there who has seen you at your absolute worst and loves you through it all.
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
Sounds like gold to me. Treasure him. So often we think we have a prince but he turns out to be a demented narcissistic frog.
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Jo Choto 3 years ago
Yeah, there are two phrases that I really find suspect. 1) I'm a really nice guy. 2) Trust me.
Jp@nda 3 years ago
And the good old all of my exes are crazy b***hes, mmm i doubt that, I think there is a high chance you made things end badly, you should at least be civil with a few of your exes
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Patricia Banks 3 years ago
I married one of the nice guys liked by everyone. Never a bad word said about him. After 12 years of marriage I found out he was having an affair. I eventually left and bet no one ever was told the truth why I left. Don't care. I got 2 college degrees out of it.
Imogene Cargeaux 3 years ago
See my husband tried to play it off like he wasn't a nice guy because all of the women before me walked all over him because he really was a nice guy who respected women and boundaries. So he legit tried to be a d**k.. but I saw right thru it. He wasn't good at it. He's never been a good liar. He said "I'm sorry, all my friends say I'm too nice to women and that's why I keep getting cheated on and treated like s**t and I really like you and I didn't want to ruin this by making the same mistakes... but I'm not good at being an a*****e" after I called him out.. luckily for him.. I was sick of dating assholes who walked all over me and took advantage of my trust and loyalty. I was sick of playing games and so was he. Nearly a decade together and I couldn't imagine being with anyone else. NGL I wanna kill him sometimes but I guess that comes with the territory. Or so I've been told. Lol. Jk. I love him.
Rogers Hunter 3 years ago
I've been in the same boat he was in. I love to treasure the people I love, and the lady in my life will be my greatest joy. Yes, I've let women make a doormat out of me. I hate being mean to people and I feel that I should not have to be a jerk to be respected. In this day and age, so many horrible men have used phoney kindness to seduce women that kindness has become a huge red flag to them. I like the guy I am. Maybe I get a little too excited at the rare occasion that I do find mutual attraction and that just gets me zoned every time. Hard to accept but I'm 59 and have no choice.
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Dain Ironfoot 3 years ago
Never cheated. Never lied. Never wandered. Never overprotective nor controlling. Wanna go out and have fun? Be safe. Eyes on a swivel. See you later. Love you. Always there for a woman, including one with 4 kids. Loved it. My only issue is financial. Never learned how to save etc. Just needed someone to help me. Some of us need a strong woman willing to put in some work. That's all I wanted. 50 and given up. Lied to betrayed and abandoned for someone "better"
Natalia Allen 3 years ago
I hope you meet someone better who values your worth!
Load More Replies... Kathryn Baylis 3 years ago (edited)
The ability to make someone laugh and feel better is incredibly attractive. I’ve dated guys who were just perfect and gorgeous, but also incredibly dull. I’ve also dated guys who weren’t perfect and gorgeous, but could also make me laugh and feel totally great. Guess which became my “type”?
Bella 3 years ago
There was this guy once in highschool who worshipped me but like texted me way to much and constantly was talking to me he then started getting manipulative and told me after I didn’t respond for two days because I was on vacation he was going to Kill himself and had his friend call me no joke sixteen times in the middle of my class. He didn’t kill him self but I ended up reporting him for it and he still kept bothering me.
#5
Firstly a genuine 'nice guy' is different than a guy who walks around feeling entitled to women's attention.
I met a genuinely nice guy 13 years ago when we were both in the same post-secondary course. He liked cats, board games, loves his family, wanted kids one day, liked to cook etc etc. Found out later he was often friend-zoned by women he had an interest in (and was ok with that), in fact, he expected that we would always only be friends. We have been together for all 13 of those years, married for 7 and have a kid and four cats. We are both each other's best friends.
NsG 3 years ago
I think it's the reason why Nice Guy tends to get the capitalisation - it's a title, not a descriptor
No you can't have my name 3 years ago
I know this isn't really related, but the cat in the picture is polydactyl.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
And so very cute! B&W cats tend to be on the smart side…I had one that was unnervingly bright and he was the kitty love of my life!
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Sheera Gandolfo 3 years ago
My first marriage was hell, taken advantage of and physically abused in every way possible. Then I met a nice guy 4 yrs younger than me. I was 28 with 3 very young kids he was 24. Two years later I married that guy because he was my best friend and 20 years later he still is. We had 3 kids together in addition to my 3 who he loved and raised exactly like his own. I tell all my kids, marry your best friend and you can't go wrong.
Jp@nda 3 years ago
That's so awesome, I am so happy for you that you and your kids found safety, love, and happiness❤️
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Kelly Shields 3 years ago
My husband and I had been friends for years, he'd seen me through two break ups and I was there when he broke up with his ex. He was so kind to her during the break up. Firm that things were over but allowed her to get back on her feet and even took care of her pet snakes when she left them behind. I knew that I would never cheat or gaslight him the way she did, but I also knew that if I had any reason to leave the relationship he would make sure I was okay. He's best friend was also an ex of mine and he knew the same was true of me. We're both honest with each other and anytime we've had problems we've had long talks until we figure out the underlying cause and we fix it. I know that if we ever grow apart we will be able to talk about that and make a decision together and with each other's best interest at heart.
zovjraar me 3 years ago
a guy who can earn a cat's love is usually a good bet. usually, not always.
Deidre Benton 3 years ago
The friend zone does not exist. Either you can view women as actual friends or you feel it is some sort of transactional relationship. You give them niceness and in return you feel like you are owed romance and/or sex. Being nice is the lowest bar possible for positive relationships - friendship being a form of relationship. You know someone is a "nice guy" when they think the friend zone exists. They think simply being *nice* to a woman entitles them to something more than niceness or even friendship.
Zak Kalles 3 years ago
And yet I'm sure he couldn't talk about it because he was a nice guy that got friendszoned a lot and the internet would demonize him for it
#6
So bad. I was stupid and 17, he was 29. he tried to convert me to his religion and planned to propose when I turned 18. I thought I was an adult and could make my own choices, and upon reflection, I see that it was grooming. Now that I’m close to his age… can’t imagine trying to date a 17-year-old.
Angelar 3 years ago
I think Woody Allen was grooming his audience since 50 years and we just found out.
Sandra Gillespie 3 years ago
Oh dear. The world had known about Woodsy Allen for 30 years or more. You must be very young & just learned about him.
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Otter 3 years ago
If you know a teenaged girl, make sure she hears "Older guys don't get interested in teen girls because they're more mature than their peers, they're interested because they think a young girl is naive or defenseless enough to dominate or abuse.".
Little king trash mouth 3 years ago
You're right but the problem is teenagers don't have that insight yet. We can tell them this but of course, they're (the teenage girl) the exception because they ARE different than their friends. I think teens in that situation think they're the exception - "no, I'm special. That's why he likes me." You can't see the truth often when you're in the situation, especially if you're a kid without full maturity and experience.
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Kelly Boekhout 3 years ago
The only reason to date someone 12 years younger than you, especially at that age, is to have the control over them. They try to mold you into their perfect girl. I wish I could tell all teenagers who are with someone much older than them to run for the hills. Not to mention a lot of times it's totally illegal
Josy Bannon 3 years ago (edited)
Yep, I was with a 29 year old man when I was 19, only for a couple of months though. We were friends first, but we were fighting a lot when we were together so I ended it. He always said how special I was and I knew he dated women his age before me (and after me as it turned out) so to me it was just adventurous that we dated. But only now in my 30s I realise that from his perspective this is very creepy, why dating a teenager??
Load More Replies... Imogene Cargeaux 3 years ago
Isn't it crazy how when we're young we always think that we're "mature" enough to date older ppl. And we think that THATS why they want to date us... but really it's because they're predators and borderline pedophiles... I cannot believe HOW MANY men I grew up with that are predators who I never saw in that light until my stepdaughter's became teenagers and I realized "omfg... I was dating someone 8 years older than her at her age! If that happened to her, I'd be behind bars for murdering a creep" ... legit. So many creeps. If you're under 21 and you're reading this.. PLEASE BE CAREFUL AND WARY OF OLDER MEN! They don't think you're so mature that they forget how old you are. They're purposely trying to date a child. No offense but you're not that mature. You still have a lot of growing up to do. Date someone your own age. Have fun. Don't get into serious relationships and never ever ever let older ppl pressure you into relationships or more. Please. Just listen to all of us. It's real
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
I agree. Although I know a couple, she was in her early 20s, he mid 50s when they started dating and they seem happy. I was sceptical and still am sometimes, but they are together for 10 years now and I believe her when she says she's happy and stay close to her, thats the only thing I can do.
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Mermaid Elle-Jaye 3 years ago
Never be ashamed or feel s**t over it for anyone here who is experiencing or dealt with it. It’s not anyone’s fault but the ‘groomers’. We were picked because we see only the best/good side of people/ ‘benefit of a doubt’ goggles. It only backfires on yourself (your genuine spirit/ personality) when predators abuse it that privilege, the best thing to do from now at this moment, is realise and start taking more notice to protect yourself (and others) from these predators.
Philip Williams 3 years ago
I know of some cases of older people grooming vulnerable teens, and many, many more of their attempts being thwarted and exposed. In none of the ones where the weirdo is successful did I see a teenager who dated him out of philanthropy. I can't credit the concept of a stable young woman with plans for a future giving sex, moving in with, surrendering her freedom, and accepting financial benefits from a strange man as a benefit of the doubt.
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Amelia Bee 3 years ago
Yup. This is why I get so sad when I see young women angrily defending their relationship to their much older boyfriend/husband. They seriously have no idea, and that almost always look back on the relationship with regret, if not flat out trauma.
Fenix Faea 3 years ago
I went through something like this just recently, I'm 17 and he was 32. Dated for like 7 months before I actually thought about everything he was saying and doing. I regret it alot. He told me he liked me cause I was more mature then others my age and that's what attracted him to me.
GettheOtis 3 years ago
I'm 43 now, but I was dating people my age now at the age of 18-19. Can't tell you how many times I heard that nonsense.
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J&B FitzTubeKidz 3 years ago
The thing about Christianity and that most real ones don’t follow this cult-like behavior. Plus we don’t date underaged women when in our thirties lol
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
Every time a man HAD to tell me he's A CHRISTIAN, he later showed himself a closet pervert. They hid behind their bible and everyone else's trust & stupidity.
#7
He was nice for a few months. Then came the mental and emotional manipulation—gaslighting, threatening to hurt/kill himself over the most inconsequential things (like not being able to hang out or talk on the phone). Then came the physical abuse; among other things, he ended up trying to kill me twice. I didn’t leave because I was afraid he would kill me or my family, since at that point I had been with him for 2 years. My depression and sense of hopelessness became so strong that I felt the only way out was death, and I started acting out with the hope that he would kill one of us. Finally, in a bout of extreme confidence brought on by alcohol, I dumped him over text and told him to never speak to me or my family again, and that I had reported him to the police and that they were watching my family for safety (not true, but god I regret not reporting him when I should have).
7 years down the road and I still have intense ptsd that impacts all of my relationships. But, I am better than I was, and that’s okay with me, because in time I will be better than I am now.
Rens 3 years ago
I can really relate to this. I'm almost 4 years free but I have PTSD and the scars are still there. He was financially controlling, emotionally and verbally abusive, threatened to harm my family, and gaslit me. I ended up not trusting my own judgement, because he used this punishment and rewards system that completely confused me and twisted everything. I'm in a very good, balanced, nurturing relationship now and my bf is very supportive and encouraging; he is everything my ex is not.
Jp@nda 3 years ago
I'm one year no contact,from a relationship of almost two decades. It was once good but got so soul crushingly bleak that the only way out was death and honestly that seemed like a relief. I made it out, tried to be friendly and it was too much, like i said it's been one year and a week now that I've blocked every point of contact. I would like to say that it's worked but every once in awhile a message gets through somehow. I have nightmares that I'm found, sometimes on the street i go into a full blown panic because i feel like this will be the day and they're waiting somewhere. I'm in therapy, i have an amazing support system, but Jesus, it's gonna take a lot longer to be okay and honestly idk if I'm ever gonna be comfortable enough to be with another person. I'm okay with that though, I'm alive, sober, working on my Masters. To anyone reading this that's in that position, leave, it will never get better, there will never be that reason that makes things okay. Save yourself
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kym 3 years ago
My "nice guy" was extremely similar but finally after 1 particularly bad beating ( he broke my ribs, my eye socket , knocked out several teeth and massive bruises, ) I got up the nerve to call the police . I found out he had been arrested and convicted of beating 4 other women. In the end he did the most time for mine a WHOPPING 13 months. I left the state with nothing to start over and constantly have panic attacks he'll figure out where I went and just show up..PTSD from a relationship I never should have allowed to start.
Mandificent Fazbk 3 years ago
I had to read this twice. I am so sorry, Kym
Load More Replies... Kelly Boekhout 3 years ago
PTSD from a relationship is very very real. I have a hard time trusting anyone because of a guy I broke up with in 2017. He was awful
Philip Williams 3 years ago
I can relate. I married a woman when she was pregnant who put my life through living hell, abused me constantly, and refused to work or even do anything else with her time. My infant son witnessed it all. I was stigmatized as a deadbeat for suggesting leaving her. If I did I lose everything to her I worked for, even though she was proudly cheating on me while I was at work. When she left that is exactly what happened. She even tried to accuse me of every heinous act she could think of. Thank God I could prove my innocence. Several years later the penalties have kept it near impossible to recover
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Michelle Gioia- Lane 3 years ago
I can relate to this, I've been out 15 years and I still have ptsd, for the most part I'm good but every once in awhile something triggers it.
georgia layne 3 years ago
It's been 12 for me and now I have the best husband and kids you could ask for. Amd the best news I got 2 years ago was that his sorry butt was dead
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Sally Barry 3 years ago (edited)
There was a horror story, a true story, about 'the girl in the box' held captive. In a box. under the bed. sex slave. She was threatened and they threatened her family. I would have early on told them they had better call the police and watch out as I packed my bag and disappeared out of the country...
Ari Rey 3 years ago
25 years free from my abuser and kids father, 12 years free from another 2.5 year relationship from another abuser. Sometimes people can be so misleading and you won't stop the cycle until you start recognizing and NOT ignoring the red flags. We want to see the best in people but not everyone has our best interest. Been eight of those last twelve years with a truly nice guy who's also a great father to his daughter.
#8
The “nice” guy tried moving into my dorm room after 4 days. I noped the f**k out of that relationship.
Phoenix 3 years ago
Keep hitting the downvote to reply.. Anyways yeah, scary as firck dude.
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Kate Johnson 3 years ago
I had a boyfriend who tried to do that because my brother and I were living in my Dad's house, and we thought he thought it was going to be a party house. My brother dealt with him when he showed up after I'd told him that we were no longer a thing. My brother is a cross between President Taft and Hagrid; nobody gets past him if he doesn't want them to. He's not violent at all, as big as he is, he doesn't need to be. Kind of like how Jason Ogg doesn't need to fight people because he's so big.
Philip Williams 3 years ago
What a lame that guy was. I was with a woman who wanted to move in with me after 2 dates! Her reasoning when it came out was that she was more attractive than me so it should be a privilege. I agreed to disagree and never returned her calls
Rex Galilae 3 years ago
Sure, let someone lay pipe on you but god forbid you make them a roommate
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
And on behalf of all women everywhere, we are grateful you are keeping your distance.
Load More Replies... #9
A day or two in, he started talking about how I was going to marry him, be a stay at home mom, have as many kids as I could physically produce, and how isolated I would be.
He never asked my opinions, that's directly against my life plan and always has been, and was determined to go through with it with only details being my choice. Thankfully got out unscathed.
Jo Choto 3 years ago
Oh man, a good (older) friend of mine set me up on a date with her son. We went to the movies. He tried to talk throughout. He kept trying to hold my hand. Like, we had JUST met. He was talking about how we were going to raise MY daughter (that he never met), and what our future looked like. It was horrific. And then my friend wanted to know when we were going to see each other again!
Jp@nda 3 years ago
Oh the twelfth of neveruary about none o' clock. Does that work for you?
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Em Cloud 3 years ago
They still don't have to endure the body horror that is pregnancy and childbirth, so it wouldn't be as bad for them.
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Ilia Bauer 3 years ago (edited)
"A day or two in, he started talking about how I was going to marry him,"|| No.|| "be a stay at home mom,"|| Hell no.|| " have as many kids as I could physically produce, and how isolated I would be."|| Whoever told you that I would put up with that is both stupid and a liar. Goodbye.
Cathy Hurd 3 years ago
You never get out of any relationship unscathed. Good or bad, you learn lessons from every one. Unfortunately, for me, I've never learned.
#10
Terribly. The first (and last) time I slept at his house, I wasn't ready to have sex with him and he got upset and shouted, "You'll sleep with everyone except me!"
Like, what the actually f***?! Portraying me as a whore because I wouldn't sleep with him is some real messed up s***. Was really shocking as we had been friends for years.
In my experience, no guy who ever called himself a 'nice guy' was actually a nice guy.
Otter 3 years ago
Straight men: If you want a woman to think you're a nice guy, don't call yourself a "nice guy", just do nice things! Of course I'm not going to tell you what a genuinely nice thing to do is, because if you were actually nice and paid attention to the needs of people other than yourself, you'd know.
Kel_how 3 years ago
Also, doing nice things without expecting anything in return. That's probably the biggest difference between people who call themselves nice and those who actually are. Look at their intent.
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Susie Elle 3 years ago (edited)
"You had sex with person Y so now I'm entitled to sex with you as well!" - psychopaths
Lazy panda 3 years ago
"You must pay full price and invest in her, but how dare you expect anything return, while the bad boys got it for free." - psychos
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Quicksilver40 3 years ago
These are supposed to be stories about nice guys. What made him nice at first? This is just a complaint about a piece of crap.
Ace Arutnev 3 years ago
Women don't sleep over men's houses while dating and also the otherwise around. Of course someone's going to expect sex. So if you're not ready don't do it and also don't expect him or her to say yes to everything if him or her is not getting what they need out of the relationship it has to go both ways not one.
Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
Guys who insist on telling you they are religious are just as nasty as guys saying they are "nice".
Luke Lefrancois 3 years ago
When I was young I used to hear a "joke" a lot. It amazes me that the guys telling the joke never realized the joke was actually about them. The joke was: What's the difference between a s**t and a b***h? A s**t will sleep with anyone, a b***h will sleep with anyone but you.
Deidre Benton 3 years ago
Friends are generally friends and not something more for a reason. It's usually because one party doesn't have any romantic interest in the other and thing they genuinely have a friend. How much you wanna bet that he pestered her over the years about just seeing how it would work out if they tried being more and she finally relented?
#11
We went to Starbucks one time and chatted, and in his head, that meant I was his possession, and he had the right to stalk me for a year.
Remi 3 years ago
Had one of this sort too. We were part of the same group of first years at the uni and he just decided I was his girlfriend (not a girl, barely friendly). He straight up threatened to kill anyone who flirted with me and I knew he thought it was romantic. Classmates wouldn't talk to me because of him, and they all thought we were together because of his lies. Basically ended up making out with two of my exes in public to make him leave me alone.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Why didn’t you talk with anyone in the school’s administration?
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Boredcanadian1234 3 years ago (edited)
Had a dating app date. Met at the coffee shop. No interest. I took a buss home.He drove. Never gave him my address. He called many times and I ignored. Finally I picked up and told him I was working and could not talk. He says " you're not at work. You're at home. Standing in front of your window on the 3rd floor wearing a red top" Bizarre scary moment. He obviously followed the buss. Never dated through an app again.
Kate O'Brien 3 years ago
Yeah; reminds me of dating in my 20s. My mouth: "yes! Coffee on Saturday sounds good". His ears: "let's run off to Vegas this weekend and get married"
Judith Wilson 3 years ago
I met him at a recovery meeting and assumed he had a good program. Dodged the bullet of marriage, thank God. I left him with only the clothes on my back, never looking back, and yet he still stalks me to this day.
Kate Johnson 3 years ago
I hope that there is some way to lose him; maybe other people can think of how to help you get rid of him once and for all. Being stalked is crazy scary and I hope that you can be at peace ASAP, Judith. ❤
Load More Replies... Luke Lefrancois 3 years ago
I had this happen with a woman. While standing in line to order coffee, she tells me we need to discuss our monogamous relationship. Keep in kind this is the first 5 minutes of meeting her. Needles to say, I took my coffee to go. She started pestering me on FB. I blocked her account. She made another one and tried to get me to add her as a friend. She stalked me on IG, and a couple of forums that I use. She finally stopped after almost 2 years. Guess she found someone else.
#12
Oh boy:
He was emotionally unavailable.
Literally valued material objects over human life to an extreme.
Openly told me he loved his car more than me.
He hated animals.
He hit my sister for using “his” toothpaste.
And that was the end of that.
Zophra 3 years ago
My cat is on my lap. She totally agrees with my very inappropriate statement.
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Kelly Boekhout 3 years ago
If someone hates animals that's my cue to get out of their life asap. No matter what role they play in my life. I don't even want friends that hate animals
Dana Ondráčková 3 years ago
My sister is married to a seemingly nice Guy who turned out to be a maniac. Value food over his family, what is not in his huge belly is not YET his. He once threw down a Puppy And kicked it mercilessly because it bit his nose play fully. I told him to leave, he was near my room at my family house. He screamed at me (23 ať that time) that I have no right to scold him etc. I screamed to leave my room And my house. He went to tattle to my parents. That Guy was 45...
Munchkin 3 years ago
if a guy hit my sibling for something so I would knock him out, take his car to the dumpster, and fill his house with cute little puppies and SPIDERS
Amy Kay 3 years ago
This guy is terrible. But, please don't dismiss people who don't care for animals. I have certain reasons - always feeling sick with terrible allergies around them since I was a child, so associating those feelings. And, being attacked by a dog when I was 3 years old. So lots of fear. When I met my husband he had a beloved cat and even though it was crazy (and jealous of my new place in my husband's life) and constantly ran up and scratched my legs and once sunk its teeth into my arm in a terrible bite resulting in a tetanus shot, I bit the bullet because of how much my husband was attached until the cat needed to be put down for illness years later (my husband's decision.)
that.bitch.mae 3 years ago
But you do get that you having allergies, having a fear of dogs because you were attacked by one, and disliking cats because one attacked you are good reasons to dislike those animals, right? This guy seems to just hate all animals for no particularly good reason. Idk, I love animals and can't see any good reason to hate them unless it's an allergy or fear so maybe there are other reasons to dislike them.
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April Stephens 3 years ago
The sad part is that his bad opinions/behavior progressed to such a pattern, but OP was stuck in the relationship until the final straw when he hit her sister.
Quicksilver40 3 years ago
Is this the nice guys story list, or the shitty guy list? There's no nice in 80% of these.
Lp Johnson 3 years ago
That's the point. Guys who "brag" that they're a Nice Guy, ask constantly why no woman wants to fool with them, and then blame the woman for not wanting to put up with their mental manipulation and abuse.
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Mark Kelly 1 year ago
What a psycho. I like animals and we're not freak out over something like someone using my toothpaste or even care.
#13
So far, so good.
Fourteen years ago, my best friend gave her twin brother my number. I had just gotten out of a 4 year long abusive relationship, and wasn't looking for anything serious. Twin brother and I went on a date and have been inseparable ever since.
We've been married for 13 years and have 3 kids, a dog, and a nice house. He's an amazing man, husband, father. I'm so thankful he gave ME a chance!
Tracy Carrizal 3 years ago
I enjoy hearing about the actualities of nice guy versus nice guy per se. And I like hearing the stories of successes. For me it can be confusing and irritating because sometimes it's hard to tell the difference when I'm in the moment of it. But with the stories of others it can be a little easier to get a sense of the difference and see about how one of the responses can jive well with how I could respond when I don't know how to respond but know how I should respond if that makes sense...
Amy Beckler 3 years ago
Seems you had already "paid" in those previous 4 years?...although that thought is messed up too?
Cheri Aline Sydney 3 years ago
Sirena, you act as uf you're the Judge. Jury and Executioner in every subject.... It gets old!
Load More Replies... #14
He burned my stuff because he loved me too much.
Phoenix 3 years ago (edited)
Oof my dad burned my mom's stuff one time by accident because in a plactic bag at the front door had her purse and valuables. There was papers and a merchandiser on it. He didn't know there was valuable stuff in it. They have not divorced. This is where love was a choice for my mom not a feeling. Remember love isn't only a feeling, but a choice. Most people get in divorces/breakups because they don't feel like they love that person anymore.
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Libstak 3 years ago
Love is about always wanting the best for another. Anything that makes them sad or hurt should make Those who love them feel sad or hurt too. This is not love it is selfish obsession and maybe lust. If you objectify another person then you can do this but if you see them as a fellow human being entitled to their own personality, choices, thought and feelings you could never imagine doing this to them.
Philip Williams 3 years ago
My ex fiancee destroyed every item of value I had one day while I was at work. It included irreplaceable pictures, my Grandfather's WW2 air medal and Purple Heart, 10k in clothing, just to name a few. The reason? She saw a text on my phone from a woman's name. When I recovered from shock I showed her it was from the secretary at the union hall I work for. It was a form text to all members about upcoming wage increase distribution
Jackie Johnson 3 years ago (edited)
Terrible you lost your stuff, not minimizing the value at all, but it's good you got out of that relationship. That behavior is abuse and worse abuse waiting to happen.
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Blackstone 3 years ago
Anyone else hearing lyrics from "You'll Be Back" from Hamilton right now?
#15
I dated a 'nice guy' who had pestered me into a relationship, even though I wasn't ready to be in one. On top of that, I was really young and a people pleaser, so I always wanted his approval. Any time I was excited about something, he'd spin it around to make my accomplishments less exciting. For example, I'd placed first in a provincial competition of sorts and he replied with "So? My friend placed first in the COUNTRY and he could have gone all over the WORLD!" He could also find a reason to argue about anything. He could be venting about his day, I'd agree with him that, yeah, that sounded really difficult and he could still pick a fight, even though I was in agreement. Could probably write a novel about that relationship, even though it only lasted about a year.
Denise Melek 3 years ago (edited)
My first relationship was like that. Lasted 4 years. He also drank. After 20 years he still threatened me after he found out my new email address. Pressed charges and didn't hear from him since. Still find it hard to trust someone in a relationship.
Alan Gale 3 years ago
After 20 f'n YEARS !!! Je... s H, wtf is wrong with some men!!
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David Leick 3 years ago
He had a real, "My dad could beat up your dad!" kinda energy to him. Was he 6 years old?
Josy Bannon 3 years ago
"Any time I was excited about something, he'd spin it around to make my accomplishments less exciting." - huge red flag!!!
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
Definitely someone to avoid! He would always treat you as inferior and if you didn't accept your inferiority as fact he would make your life hell.
Blackstone 3 years ago
I almost could've written this. I had an extremely similar experience. Thankfully I went from Nice Guy to nice guy and we've been married over a decade. I definitely traded up.
#16
We went out for lunch and he offered to pay for me but only if I agreed to be his girlfriend. You know because he's "tired of all these gold diggers". It was Panera Bread and the guy worked at Luby's lol.
I paid for myself and promptly ghosted him heh heh.
Mandificent Fazbk 3 years ago
It's amazing how many times I wanted to/should have paid for dinner, even if it meant conspiring with the waiter. Just discreetly hand him your card, ask him to add a gratuity, and call you a cab. Then he calls you away. Poof! You vanished.
Tamra Stiffler 3 years ago
So basically he wanted to buy you for the cost of a lunch. Nice Guy.
Beth Kuhn 3 years ago
Good for you. I have just quit the effin dating scene. They want to play everything is progressive sex on the first date and stay forever never leave my house, after 1st date. But they want maid service cook, clean, laundry, grocery shopping. Oh and the bills are all paid out if my checking account, because you know i have to pay rent for myself ect anyway. WTF?? No more pity me " nice guys"
Rex Galilae 3 years ago
If you're consistently attracting terrible people, you probably need to fix something about yourself. This goes for all genders and sexualities
Load More Replies... Boredcanadian1234 3 years ago
Thus is why I insist on payjng my own way. Too many men think them paying for a meal or coffee means you owe them something.
#17
He seemed great. We hit it off and worked through some early issues (he ignored me for days at a time to play video games with his friends, not even a text of hello or sorry, I'm busy). His mom was diagnosed with cancer about a year in, and I moved in with him so I could spend as much time as possible with her and support him as she was terminal. 8 months after she passed away, a friend of mine found his profile on the dating app we met on (currently active with a paid subscription, the same exact profile I met him with). When confronted, he said he was just trying to make friends, and that I couldn't count it as cheating because nobody ever messaged him back. We tried to work things out, but he was found a month later on the same dating site, by the same friend. I wish I could say that was the end, but I gave him another chance. Over the next year, he became the most hateful, miserable man I've ever met and I could no longer mentally handle it. I moved out.
No you can't have my name 3 years ago
If he was looking for friends, he wouldn't be on a dating app
Mandificent Fazbk 3 years ago
That's not unusual. We love them. We want to believe. But ultimately, we end up in a clinic getting STD tests just to be sure we can go on with our lives with no baggage
Nicole Murray 3 years ago
A lot of people say why didn't you leave when you saw the first signs. Some people don't understand the hold an abusive relationship can have over you. When you're actually the one in the relationship, what others can see clearly is often not visible to you. OR you are aware and trying to block it out because you don't want it to be true. My (almost ex) husband is the most abusive person I've ever met in my life. Everyone says "Why the hell did you go back to him after he trashed your apartment when you were 6 months pregnant" He literally masturbated all over the bed and wiped it around with his hands... Smashed the TV. Smashed eggs all over the ground, threw meat juice down the heat registers... When I came back from my family's for the weekend it smelled like death in the hallway. He'd flown back to Ireland, sent me a text saying "Left you the TV xx". Nope, didn't learn my lesson. I went back. I'm gone now but it's something people don't necessarily understand unless they've been th
Monica G 3 years ago
Irish... No surprise there. Endured 25 years with such master of passive aggression, always thinking what was wrong with him and how I can make him feel better until a friend told me about narcissistic abuse. The PtSD that followed upon leaving him was extreme, just terrible, but more so the anger for letting myself keeping up with this for so long.
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Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
EX husband. The ex part can never really be over emphasized!
Load More Replies... Amy Beckler 3 years ago
It is awfully painful when your big vulnerability was simply being a compassionate woman. Can only hope for Karma?
M Zimmerman 3 years ago
Most recent ex did this s**t too. We “broke up” at one point and that gave him the idea to download a dating app within minutes of me leaving (out of fear, mind you). We “got back together” the next day, then come to find out he still had an account multiple weeks later and even after getting a NEW PHONE, because a girl messaged him on it and he texted me “what are we? Can I message this girl back to tell her what we are?” And I just about lost my entire s**t. He said he forgot he had it on there, but in all honesty he was an abusive f**k. He showed his intentions that day cut and dry and I still went back for another month. And yes, he was a Nice Guy. He didn’t admit it, though, he just deluded himself into thinking he was actually doing the right thing. I’m only about 10 days free and he still lives in close proximity, so I can’t exactly get away properly. He next day found someone to f**k though, so good on his lying a*s.
#18
He manipulated everyone who knew me into thinking that I said horrible things to drive them away from me then used my grief from losing my father as a tool for his manipulation tactics.
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
Anyone who tries to isolate you from family and friends is to be avoided. Once you are alone you are at their mercy. Avoid them like the plague. Oh, and warn anyone else they try it on with.
Marco Conti 3 years ago
That's one of the biggest red flags. Like May Day in the USSR red.
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Nicole 3 years ago
Seriously! There must be a cult of men like this. I had a similar situation with a guy just after my father died. He used my grief against me and gas lighted me to no end. Even went as far as kissing another girl in front of me and tried telling me I was crazy and was just suffering from anxiety over my dad.
Amelia Bee 3 years ago
My ex did this to me, too. And yes, he literally called himself a "nice guy" and said the fact that everyone in his life hated me was proof of this. Never mind that he'd deliberately told them lies about me, nope, clearly I was the one who was always wrong.
#19
I ended up with a restraining order and had to cut off people who had known me my whole life because they chose to believe his version of the story instead of mine.
So, not well?
Marco Conti 3 years ago
Get an audio app for your phone and keep a record. Less battery power than video, just as revealing.
buttonpusher 3 years ago
Doesn't there have to be solid proof for a restraining order to be granted, or do they just give them out like smarties in some places?
Ein Steinbeck 3 years ago
Unfortunately it varies wildly both by location and judge.
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Rose Spurlock 3 years ago
Sometimes abusers are COMPLETELY different when alone with you then with ANY other person. They have the capability to be very charming and play every role they feel they need to in order to convince them they are truly a good person, then the minute you are alone with them it's a completely different story. So just as you have said any real family or real friends? All their family and friends have seen is an upstanding, empathetic, helpful, happy, and amazing person so they are genuinely confused. The abusive person has manipulated and gaslighted their partner to the point they question their own sanity and are hurt even more when family and friends do not believe it. At that point it is better for their health to just drop those family and friends. It's not the friends or families fault because all people tend to judge from what they actually see and not hear.
Load More Replies... #20
Not me but my friend did. He ended up in jail, and she ended up with bruises and a black eye.
Cold Contagious 3 years ago
Your name, lol 😆! One of my daughter's very favorite Scooby-Doo movies!
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Nate Moore 3 years ago
I ended up in jail after my ex tried to stab me repeatedly. Why? Because she came at me with a knife. After a 3rd time, I slapped her. Mind you, I had multiple cuts and minor stab wounds from fighting her off the first 2 times. But no, im the one who was arrested.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Has your friend moved or made any plans for what to do when he gets out of prison?
#21
Regardless of how many times I said I wasn't interested in a relationship, he continued making moves and flirting, telling me that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with me and that we were soulmates.
He told me that he was having a rough home life and that I was the only one in the world who didn't think he was creepy for the way he looked or would give up on him. (Nobody ever said that he was ugly). He would constantly ask if he was handsome or not, and he was not bad looking at all, just lacking in some hygiene skills like wearing deodorant and showering regularly, and dental care. He seemed really insecure about the way he looked to the point that the insecurity became the most noticeable thing about the way he carried himself. No amount of compliments or reassurance would soothe him.
I showed up for his football games and performances to support him, and he never showed up for my plays or finished small tasks that I asked him, as a friend, to complete. Whenever addressed he would break down and say that he was the "worst person in the world" and that he would "die for me." He eventually stopped talking to me and moved on to somebody else.
I honestly think he needed more attention and love from his parents and was using the desire for a girlfriend to fill the emotional gap. I feel bad for him, but I'm glad to have some distance.
Amelia Bee 3 years ago
Ugh. Don't. He's a manipulative creep who used his mental illness to guilt women into staying. That's what guys like him do, he refuses to put ANY effort into the relationship, then weasels out of the consequences of his actions by saying things like "I'm such a failure, I hate myself, I don't understand why you put up with me" so she isn't allowed to be mad at him. It's toxic af, and he knew EXACTLY what he was doing.
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Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
Typical abuser tactic, making you feel sorry for him so you'll stay and devote your life to making him happy. He may be insecure, but he may also be a manipulator. Nothing you can do will make up for any true or perceived lack of love and attention from his parents because you are not them. The damage they did will always be there, if it ever existed other than in his mind. There is a reason other people find him creepy, so be careful.
Amelia Bee 3 years ago
For anyone naive enough to feel sorry for this jerk, don't. He's a creep who uses his mental illness as an excuse to justify never putting any effort into the relationship, as well as a means to manipulate and guilt trip women into staying. He knows exactly what he's doing, by beating himself up in front of her he expects her to forget her anger at his constant refusal to do anything for her, and force her to drop everything in order to placate him. Then he threatens to hurt himself if she tries to pull away. He's unbelievably toxic, and y'all gotta remember that having depression or any other mental illness is never an excuse for treating others badly.
blargipuke 3 years ago
Except we don't actually know that person, so stop trying to assume someone is a complete a*****e over a bit of text on the internet.
Load More Replies... El muerto 3 years ago
I would say that that is total a mental health issue to adress...something like borderline disorder. that's very common sign...met women like that too...they put you in a pedestal and make you the center of their emotional life. but then it stop and they move to somebody else. is a never ending story
Myr Lopez 3 years ago
I have borderline... this is just abusive behavior. I knew what manipulation and abusive behavior was and not to act like that long before I even got therapy for the BPD. Same with most people with borderline that I know. Most people with personality disorders are actually good people and not everyone who is abusive has a personality disorder. Most abusers are just a piece of s**t without having brain issues.
Load More Replies... Octavia Hansen 3 years ago
I dated "an actor" who was ALWAYS acting. Never knew the real him. But he assured me he was the center of the universe and I was lucky to have him. But it turned out all right . . . went to a cast party, met another man who was perfect, left with him and never looked back . . .
Mark Kelly 3 years ago
not taking showers and using deodorant is more than lacking is "some hygiene skills.
#22
Not me & I'm not a girl lmao but I had a friend who gave a nice guy a chance. They got married & it went downhill in less than a year.
The dude had some major self-esteem issues & sought validation from other women even in marriage. He got caught talking to other women on Facebook, Tinder, etc & claimed it was therapeutic for his self-esteem issues. The kicker was that we all worked at the same place in different departments. It was like being backstage at the Maury show
Nate Moore 3 years ago
I can understand literally just talking like friends. What I can't abide is replacing your significant other with someone else, for your emotional needs. You tell your husband/wife that everything is fine but then unload to someone else? In my mind, thats effectively emotional cheating. At least give your significant other a chance to help, if you want help.
Amy Beckler 3 years ago
Hmmm. Male version of she loves me therefore I am? type of needy validation?
Kate Johnson 3 years ago
One question: what's so funny about "Not me & I'm not a girl" that warrants the "LMAO"? I'm not being sarcastic, I seriously just don't get it. Besides that, I'll echo Mary Rose Kent: This is just sad.
#23
He was criticizing everything I did. Why do I go to university, why do I live where I live, why do I do my makeup, why do I do popular things (he hated everything that ‘popular’ people did, which I wasn’t he just had the idea that there are things that popular people do and like and things that only nice people) - which is crazy considering the fact that we were already in our 20s, he was 28 talking about this pointless unpopular vs popular thing like high schoolers - also every time he thought I was mad at him, he deleted me on every social media. It was frustrating, tiring and hurting. So eventually I stopped talking to him and now I’m labelled as ‘popular basic sl*t just like the rest of the females.
Emalee Bespflug 3 years ago
Sounds a lot like my ex fiancé. He actually used to talk s**t to his female friend about how I used my hard earned money to buy a designer purse and wallet combo. He also broke off our engagement simply because I didn’t like something the pope said (he was super Catholic and I respected that) his family and he tried to pressure me into a Catholic wedding even though my Baptist pastor was open to a duel ceremony. He’d block me on everything any time we argued and thought it was okay for his female friend to send him sexy pics and for him to tell her how good she looked. He was a horrible person.
Mary Rose Kent 3 years ago
Anyone who can’t figure out that he’s a horrible person probably won’t be swayed by your posting it outright like that!
Load More Replies... Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
I'm guessing a lot of women fall into that category after dating him.
#24
SO bad. About 3 months in he asked me for advice on some selfies he took (ick but whatever) I chose one. He never posted it to his Instagram but I thought nothing of it. Two weeks later my friend sent me a screenshot of a tinder profile and said “Isn’t this the guy you’ve been dating?” It was him and he’d used the picture I chose as his main picture.
Jasper Cool 3 years ago
Yeah this is like how my ex husband took a photo off my Facebook page of the two of us and cropped me out and posted pictures on Ok Cupid of himself of a single divorced dad. I was pregnant at the time.
#25
Met a “nice guy” on Tinder, whom I was really into. I previously had never met someone that I had so much in common with, got along with, and was physically attracted to. We dated for a little before he started ghosting me. Found out his depression hit him really hard so I left him alone like he wanted. He hit me up again a little while later after starting therapy and antidepressants and told me how much he liked me and wanted to see me and we would date until he would ghost me again. Super apologetic and aware of his wrongdoings and would be incredibly understanding of my boundaries every time. This same cycle continued 3 more times over the span of 8 months until I found out (by chance and from someone else) that he was seeing someone else. Turned out just to be a really selfish guy who was stringing me along just because he could. Don’t think he’s a bad person at all but definitely very selfish and dishonest and didn’t know what he wanted which ended up being at my expense.
Jp@nda 3 years ago
Ok so what do you consider a bad person? Cause someone who would string me along, ghost me, blame it on mental illness that people genuinely freaking struggle with every day of their lives, gaslight you and then do it all over again multiple times is a bad person. Or you might just be very naive
Cecily Holland 3 years ago
He’s a bad person for using mental illness as a cover to shag someone else
Emma Starr 3 years ago
Not a bad person? He's one sliver away from sociopath. And I'm a licensed counselor, 20 years experience.
Iris 3 years ago
Let me help if I can here, you understanding that he has issues, and even maybe WHY he does things doesn't make those things ok. It's not even about "bad person" or not, you're saying overall he didn't do monstrous things like hit you. But. He was bad FOR you. Look at it like that if it helps. I've been down that road and I understand what you're saying, one day when you're stronger and realize your value I hope you see that the people who take you for granted, emotionally hurt you whether it's intention or not, you can't fix it or save them and their feelings DONT MATTER ANYMORE. They don't have to be "good" or "bad" but they need to be GONE. Be strong. Stay strong.💖
Ender Brine 3 years ago
Yes, we'll said. Fine, he has issues then he needs help not u to b his verbal punching bag... m I very on girl; it's the negativity that's going to ruin u
Load More Replies... No you can't have my name 3 years ago
"he's selfish and dishonest but he's not bad" No, he's bad.
Becky Larsen 3 years ago (edited)
I've been in your position but it's been many many years since. Somebody told me something at that time and it really opened my eyes so I will share it with you. Stop making excuses for shitty people. You cannot put a flower in an as***le and call it a vase. I hope this helps and best of luck to you.
#26
It was nice at first but then he started slowly becoming manipulative and distancing himself. After a short while, he stopped talking to me and acted like I didn't exist. I broke up with him, and get this, he told me he forgot we were even dating.
Nate Moore 3 years ago
I've actually done that. I was hyperfocused (ADHD) in high school, and a girl apparently asked me out. I said yeah, more or less on autopilot. A few weeks later, she broke up with me because I wasn't paying attention to her. I was confused until friends told me what had happened. Wouldve been fine if she hadn't started spreading rumors that I was abusive, or that I had forced myself onto her sexually, etc. Like hell I did. I didn't even know we were dating.
Molly Brunkard 3 years ago
I forgot I was dating someone once in highschool. A dude and I went on two or three dates and I had agreed to be his girlfriend, but then I was diagnosed with type one diabetes and I legit just forgot that he existed. He called a few weeks later to break up with me, and I was just like, "Oh, yeah, ok, see you around!" Lol
#27
I almost gave the “nice guy” a chance but after he showed up at my house uninvited and made my dad super angry (had a strict “no boys allowed” rule until I hit 18; I was 15 at the time), I gave up. He begged me to “give him a chance” because we both liked World of Warcraft. That was it. Glad I did give up because of the stalking, inappropriate thigh touches at lunch, creepy talks about “what he wanted to do to me”, trying to convince me to sneak out in the middle of the night to see him, etc absolutely terrified me. I haven’t seen him in quite a while but I’m honestly still scared to be alone in that county. I have a BF now that doesn’t do that but I never go visit my parents without him or stay at their house alone. I’m now 23 and still worry.
Glittery Panda 3 years ago
Thx for the upvotes! I hope whoever posted this story sees it.
Load More Replies... Red 3 years ago
See, I was the exact opposite in high school. I've had girls break up with me because I didn't make any sort of move. They apparently wanted me to take on more of a masculine role. But I was a shy nerd who didn't think he was worth the air he breathed. And I mean that literally. Severe depression and anxiety. Started getting better after I graduated. And now I'm married.
Kelly Boekhout 3 years ago
Idk if being terrified years later is a reasonable response to that. Sounds like a pretty average high school dumbass kid trying to get laid. Definitely sounds creepy though
Alana Voeks 3 years ago
Take self defense lessons. You won't be so worried then. Well, you might still be, but you'll be prepared
#28
I found him very smart at first, but after dating for a while and sleeping together he proceeded to become the WORST misogynist I've ever known. Tried to control my choices in food, clothing, friend, political stance, EVERYTHING.
And when I ended things, he proceeded to share to his friends (which were also my new friends at that time) all the things I shared to him in confidence while we were dating. And when I finally blocked him from everything, he tried to reveal things in class group chats where our classmates (outside the friend circle) were members of.
It was the worst dating experience I've ever had and he wasn't even good looking. Needless to say, I won't ever indulge in charity cases again.
just me 3 years ago
Wow. Was firmly on her side until the last 2 sentences. He was a d*ck, no doubt, but sounds like she's on the same level.
Rosemary Probert 3 years ago
Why? Did she do to him what he did to her? He was a control freak who became even more abusive when she dared to leave him. I only hope other people now know what he's like as a result of his malice towards her. Nobody deserves to be treated like that.
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Kelly Boekhout 3 years ago
Charity cases? WTH does that even mean? Did he ask you for money? Would this have all been more tolerable if he was good looking? Little shallow lady
Reece Aster 3 years ago
I am on her side, despite those s**t comments. I was sexually harassed and didn't know how to respond and I ended up saying petty s**t. Of course I was 15.
Luke Lefrancois 3 years ago
This behaviour goes both ways. A guy I grew up with found his wife in bed with another man, so he left her. Left her the house, the good car, and everything in the house. What did she do to him because he dared to leave her? She emailed everyone they both knew pictures of him in drag. He killed himself a week later.
Emily B 3 years ago
To everyone pissed off at the last few lines. Put yourself in her shoes. Seemingly nice guy, maybe not really your type or what you're specifically into, but he's sweet so you give him a chance, you never know Then he ends up being a total d**che. There's gonna be A LOT of resentment there, she was probably angry when writing this. I'm not saying what she said was right, because it's not, but we all say stuff out of anger and spite. She doesn't give a timeline for this either so it could've been really recent. Cut her some slack, she went through a lot.
Amelia Bee 3 years ago
My abusive ex was just like this, every last detail of it. It's uncanny.
Anjali Cooper 3 years ago
Wow…. That is so wrong. I HATE people like this - and I don’t say that lightly.
#29
The “nice guy” still cheated on me with his ex.
Dani Alexander 3 years ago
Of course he did 🤦♀️ at least you aren’t stuck with a disloyal person :)
Cathy Hurd 3 years ago
My daughter dated a super nice guy. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, loved him. He now has 6 kids with 3 different women, at least 2 of the kids are the same age. (fortunately my daughter isn't one of them. However, her husband isn't much better)
AgentRED 3 years ago
also fortunately, Your daughter isn't dealing with someone who probably loves drama and child support payments
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Nicole Backs 3 years ago
THIS. I bet he was jealous and throwing accusations until the very last moment, too.
#30
He was an abusive man child.
Ein Steinbeck 3 years ago
When you have to scrape the barrel to hit your promised quota of items...
Skorm Carter 3 years ago
Very compelling. Honestly this whole thing was pretty stupid and, at times, quite narcissistic.
Nessie Will 3 years ago
The article was not really written by one person. It is a collection of the experiences of various women. You seem to have too high an opinion if your own opinion. Why do the comments matter more than the experiences of the women who submitted their stories?
Load More Replies...Exploring relationships and understanding the dynamics of trust can be a complex journey, especially in a world full of varied experiences and individual quirks. The challenge of uncovering true personas amidst the honeymoon phases is not unlike the recent discussions about the nuances of perception in familiar narratives. If you're looking for a fascinating insight into how different viewpoints can shape interpretations and even spark debates, you might find it interesting to see how a beloved character and her iconic attire stirred conversation.
Check out this discussion on the color debate surrounding a well-known sitcom.
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What do you think ?
HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
One of my best friends was in an extremely abusive relationship. She called me every night telling me what he had one, had him arrested, bailed him out. This very handsome nice guy was anything but. I finally told her that I could no longer listen to her pain, and she needed to dump him for good. She finally did and stuck to it. So Mr. Nice Guy calls to tell me he knows where I work, I worked with my friend. Says he is going to hurt me. I said come on you cowardly prick. Show me what a man you are. I never heard another word, nor did my friend.
ALEXIS CISNEROS 3 years ago
damn, you have balls of steel my friend. I aspire to be as badass as you are eventually
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Hannah Siniaho 3 years ago
Tried to date a Nice Guy in highschool. Didn't want to at first but he wore me down after a few months. Not a month into dating he told me, and I quote "you need to start wearing make up, it's kind of embarrassing to be with the only girl in school who doesn't try" doesn't try? Just because I don't cake my face in paint doesn't mean I don't try. Immediately, I told him to go f**k himself and that I was out. You wouldn't believe how confused and shocked he looked. He tried to apologize but I was NOT walking into that trap. I've seen the burning bed. I know how that s**t starts. No thank you.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Went on one very casual date for lunch, had a great talk about whatever, and then he tracked down my mom's phone number to find out where I was over the holidays. Oh f*ck no. My. Mom. ...
Kyndal T 3 years ago
First middle school (8th grade) bf. Carried over to HS. He was a complete weirdo. Said he had magic powers and could turn into a fox. Way out of touch with reality. Used to tell all these sex stories about his (male, straight) friends. We originally started dating bc he said he was gay and needed a cover. I agreed. But he lied. Then when I would break up with him he would turn all my friends against me and they'd refuse to talk to me. He was very sexually aggressive too and would leave bruises after just kissing. Always grabbing roughly and being pushy. I never had sex with him, thankfully. In the end, I said screw this and broke up with him. When he tried his usual crap, I whipped out all the stories he'd told and spread them all over the school. Showed texts and notes too. He confronted me and slapped me in the face. So I kicked him in the shin hard as I could. My toe was black for 2 months but worth it. His friends dropped him too. He's 30 now dating a 13yr old. Her parents know.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
What the actual...? Can't someone report him and the child's family to social services??
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Heather Warner 3 years ago
I was 20 when I married a minister than became emotionally and mentally abusive our HONEYMOON night and left six months later. He tried to have me permanently committed into a psychiatric hospital ward, made me quit college, wouldn't allow me to work, would not allow me to eat his food - my friends would bring me some, moved me into a ghetto and started working 3rd shifts knowing I was unsafe (even my family was unhappy with that). Yes, you can be raped while married, he also forced me to watch others having sex during a trip out of town knowing I didn't have a way 50 miles back home. The last straw was him trying to attack me while I was in the shower...put his fists through the door. Why...because he was losing and then lost his job due to mental instability. Not one person in the congregation he lost thought to tell a 19/20 year old that he was psycho. 25 years my mom still doesn't believe me even when my best friend told her the truth - cause ministers can't be devils in disguise.
Angelar 3 years ago
I congratulate you for your escape! What is a minister in the USA exactly, is that someone who has a academic degree in theology and is officially ordained?
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Cocoa Beanz 3 years ago
My ex called himself a "nice guy". He acted shy on the phone up until we met. First thing I noticed was that he lied about his height. I'm 5'7, he said he was 5'8. Nope, he's 5'5. I didn't care for how he talked to restaurant staff. Then he locked his keys in his car...actually the ignition. I foolishly offered to drive him home. Mask came off in the car. Long story short, it was a 9 month relationship of lies, disrespect, manipulation, insults, mental, verbal and sexual abuse. It took threatening him with a protective order for me to stop hearing from him
Magpie 3 years ago (edited)
I'm so glad you got out. Wishing you best health. The height thing is weird, why bother lie about something so obvious?
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
There are some very lovely men in the world. I have some of the best guy friends ever. I just seem to have had lousy taste in men for myself.
Annie Bieber 3 years ago
You & me both...dated 2 guys in 20yrs...both tragic. The last in 2014...thought I'd learned to watch out for the Manipulators. Apparently not...haven't dated since nor will I, cuz at my age there's a REASON guys are single...widowers excluded. Being alone is far better than being used, abused & drained...Stay Strong Ladies & Gentlemen.✌
Load More Replies... Angelar 3 years ago (edited)
When I hear "nice guy" I always think of a Beta male with the Chaplin disease.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
The trouble with this alpha/beta narrative is it encourages men to aim for the alpha behaviour, in other words, 100% toxic masculinity. So you need to stop using that term please. A bit like referring to women with pejoratives like "b***h" or "s**t" etc.
Load More Replies... J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
I would have preferred this broken into two articles: happy endings and horrible endings. Too much whiplash between the two in one piece.
Quicksilver40 3 years ago
There's almost zero nice guy stories here. So many start out with abuse, negging, begging, weardown, or variations of "hot" or "liked". Example of nice guy with bad ending would be carrot and stick, or bait and hook, not the same as lost expectations. Example nice guy with good ending would be, x characteristic salad nice, Y worried me, Z ending, maybe remove Y. It's not evil to complain about bad men, but the article title shouldn't be a straight lie.
Load More Replies... HarriMissesScotland 3 years ago
One of my best friends was in an extremely abusive relationship. She called me every night telling me what he had one, had him arrested, bailed him out. This very handsome nice guy was anything but. I finally told her that I could no longer listen to her pain, and she needed to dump him for good. She finally did and stuck to it. So Mr. Nice Guy calls to tell me he knows where I work, I worked with my friend. Says he is going to hurt me. I said come on you cowardly prick. Show me what a man you are. I never heard another word, nor did my friend.
ALEXIS CISNEROS 3 years ago
damn, you have balls of steel my friend. I aspire to be as badass as you are eventually
Load More Replies... Hannah Siniaho 3 years ago
Tried to date a Nice Guy in highschool. Didn't want to at first but he wore me down after a few months. Not a month into dating he told me, and I quote "you need to start wearing make up, it's kind of embarrassing to be with the only girl in school who doesn't try" doesn't try? Just because I don't cake my face in paint doesn't mean I don't try. Immediately, I told him to go f**k himself and that I was out. You wouldn't believe how confused and shocked he looked. He tried to apologize but I was NOT walking into that trap. I've seen the burning bed. I know how that s**t starts. No thank you.
Leo Domitrix 3 years ago
Went on one very casual date for lunch, had a great talk about whatever, and then he tracked down my mom's phone number to find out where I was over the holidays. Oh f*ck no. My. Mom. ...
Kyndal T 3 years ago
First middle school (8th grade) bf. Carried over to HS. He was a complete weirdo. Said he had magic powers and could turn into a fox. Way out of touch with reality. Used to tell all these sex stories about his (male, straight) friends. We originally started dating bc he said he was gay and needed a cover. I agreed. But he lied. Then when I would break up with him he would turn all my friends against me and they'd refuse to talk to me. He was very sexually aggressive too and would leave bruises after just kissing. Always grabbing roughly and being pushy. I never had sex with him, thankfully. In the end, I said screw this and broke up with him. When he tried his usual crap, I whipped out all the stories he'd told and spread them all over the school. Showed texts and notes too. He confronted me and slapped me in the face. So I kicked him in the shin hard as I could. My toe was black for 2 months but worth it. His friends dropped him too. He's 30 now dating a 13yr old. Her parents know.
Lady Goldberry 3 years ago
What the actual...? Can't someone report him and the child's family to social services??
Load More Replies... Heather Warner 3 years ago
I was 20 when I married a minister than became emotionally and mentally abusive our HONEYMOON night and left six months later. He tried to have me permanently committed into a psychiatric hospital ward, made me quit college, wouldn't allow me to work, would not allow me to eat his food - my friends would bring me some, moved me into a ghetto and started working 3rd shifts knowing I was unsafe (even my family was unhappy with that). Yes, you can be raped while married, he also forced me to watch others having sex during a trip out of town knowing I didn't have a way 50 miles back home. The last straw was him trying to attack me while I was in the shower...put his fists through the door. Why...because he was losing and then lost his job due to mental instability. Not one person in the congregation he lost thought to tell a 19/20 year old that he was psycho. 25 years my mom still doesn't believe me even when my best friend told her the truth - cause ministers can't be devils in disguise.
Angelar 3 years ago
I congratulate you for your escape! What is a minister in the USA exactly, is that someone who has a academic degree in theology and is officially ordained?
Load More Replies... Cocoa Beanz 3 years ago
My ex called himself a "nice guy". He acted shy on the phone up until we met. First thing I noticed was that he lied about his height. I'm 5'7, he said he was 5'8. Nope, he's 5'5. I didn't care for how he talked to restaurant staff. Then he locked his keys in his car...actually the ignition. I foolishly offered to drive him home. Mask came off in the car. Long story short, it was a 9 month relationship of lies, disrespect, manipulation, insults, mental, verbal and sexual abuse. It took threatening him with a protective order for me to stop hearing from him
Magpie 3 years ago (edited)
I'm so glad you got out. Wishing you best health. The height thing is weird, why bother lie about something so obvious?
Load More Replies... Jo Choto 3 years ago
There are some very lovely men in the world. I have some of the best guy friends ever. I just seem to have had lousy taste in men for myself.
Annie Bieber 3 years ago
You & me both...dated 2 guys in 20yrs...both tragic. The last in 2014...thought I'd learned to watch out for the Manipulators. Apparently not...haven't dated since nor will I, cuz at my age there's a REASON guys are single...widowers excluded. Being alone is far better than being used, abused & drained...Stay Strong Ladies & Gentlemen.✌
Load More Replies... Angelar 3 years ago (edited)
When I hear "nice guy" I always think of a Beta male with the Chaplin disease.
ZAPanda 3 years ago
The trouble with this alpha/beta narrative is it encourages men to aim for the alpha behaviour, in other words, 100% toxic masculinity. So you need to stop using that term please. A bit like referring to women with pejoratives like "b***h" or "s**t" etc.
Load More Replies... J.A. Rogers 3 years ago
I would have preferred this broken into two articles: happy endings and horrible endings. Too much whiplash between the two in one piece.
Quicksilver40 3 years ago
There's almost zero nice guy stories here. So many start out with abuse, negging, begging, weardown, or variations of "hot" or "liked". Example of nice guy with bad ending would be carrot and stick, or bait and hook, not the same as lost expectations. Example nice guy with good ending would be, x characteristic salad nice, Y worried me, Z ending, maybe remove Y. It's not evil to complain about bad men, but the article title shouldn't be a straight lie.
Load More Replies... You May Like These 2-Sentence Horror Stories Will Send Shivers Down Your Spine "What Is The Creepiest Thing That Ever Happened To You But Never Told Anyone?" 110 One Line Horror Stories To Give You Goosebumps
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