50 Tweets By Women That Made The Whole Internet Laugh Out Loud

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well luckily the term cockpit has no connection to that. The term comes from Medieval English as the literally pit they did c**k fighting, where the roosters would fight. Then it became overtime a catchall term for any pit you did any activity in, then it became a term for place a boat pilot would stand in when he steered the boat (bc it was like a pit), and then eventually became the term for the "pit" in an open air airplane the pilot was in, and then the term stuck around.

Where does cockpit come from? English is my second language and it always makes me think of a large whole in the ground filled with dongs instead of snakes or spikes

#clitpit

I'd call it a 'box office'!!! hehe

Ah yes mansplaining at its finest!

"Excuse me, little lady, I'll manswer that one for you."

I'm not even laughing, just nodding slowly

Lotekguy

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... and when he was done he was certain he answered it better than you could have. Nice of him to let you know who to avoid. If you draw his name for a Secret Santa party, give him a beautifully wrapped lump of coal.

Was he mansplaining it to another guy??

You should have heard me trying to phone the bank yesterday. I had no idea it was going to be this difficult. All automated, all bots. They wanted to get your account number and your name before they would even give you an option to proceed (I'm not even a customer at that bank. I was reporting an accident that it happened on their property right outside their doors involving an older gentleman who had had a medical problem). I was so annoyed at the runaround from the computerized voice. I just kept repeating words like no. Operator. No. Person. Customer service. And after about 12 "NOs" I got a person. But that's still pretty ridiculous.

Ugh yes! If I could go and do my business on the website I would not need to call!

0 "I'm sorry, I don't recognize that response"..0 "I'm sorry, I"...0 ("Well this dumbass human must not know how to work a phone") "I will connect you with the next customer service rep, you have... 3..callers ahead of you"

I have beaten that "no option to speak to a real person thing" many times. The trick is to speak gibberish. Don't press 1 or whatever, make up your own language and respond to each question with a made-up question of your own. I remember my wife watching me and rolling on the floor laughing when I tried it the first time and it worked!. Now, once in a while, she tries it too! (But I am the pro, these situations are usually delegated to me).

Lotekguy

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And is there any business or institution that hasn't "changed our menu recently " no matter when you call???

This is hilarious because it's true... my ex-husband, when we were still married, wanted an open marriage. I decided no so we split up... then 3 months later I found someone else and he was so mad... he thought I would be single forever and it pissed him off that I found someone so quickly...

I have a friend who tried the threesome twice. Both times his wife took off with the other dude. Yes, 2 different wives.

Many men suggest it purely as a way to cheat without getting grief for it; they very rarely think about the situation the other way round

Mine is mad I wouldn't sleep with him while married for that last year. Now I get hookups and he's still getting nothing. Gee, I, and apparently a lot of other women aren't attracted to men who don't work, complain about everything and play video games all day yet think they're better than everyone. Who knew?

A tale as old as time!! 🤣

I had put up a pic of an angry Gorilla that poped on my phone when he was calling... I had to delete it a couple of years later when the kids were old enough to understand!!

Neighbor has different ringtones set to different contacts. His wife is the "wa wa wa wa" sound of adults speaking in Charlie Brown. His boss is a barking dog. His daughter is Disney's Snow White's "ha-ha-haaaa".

Oh I like this..

I have a 💀 besides certain number to never forget he's dead to me. He's also blocked anyway

I put my exes name in my phone while I was still forced to communicate as "smegma" because that will never not be hilarious.