Tweets Shared By 40 Women That Made Others Crack Up

You sure she didn't cast a spell?

Lies have short legs, as we say here.

Even jail birds have rights.

That's very nice of him actually :p

Don't! Her head may explode .

I never realized that a bull terrier had such a simple face.

You are amazing just the way you are

LOLx100

I'd state back. At both.

Well, did you start shaking and swinging your tail when you saw him walk in? :))) I bet the good boy did :))))))

can we be best friends?

This was unexpectedly funny!

That actually sounds delicious, hehehe.

That is funny as hell

Awww 😂

Someone explain to me why people who cheat are shocked when they're left. It's like, logical consequence.

Well I can receive texts on my landline as well so there is no excuse

Fared better than me. I accidentally kicked the couch and my toe bone split in two. I was on crutches for 6 weeks.

This could be any of my students ...

I cannot up-vote this enough!

...this is why I have no kids, 3 cats, and captain crunch for dinner last night.

I desperately want to claim that's a lie ... but it's true! I do have a favorite stovetop burner! I'm too much of an adult ...

Parenting at it's finest

Run!

And after 8 hours in open office, I kinda want to be alone for month.

Kind of an odd thing to do.

Because you my darling are shining diamond of nonsense and something better is waiting for you

This is gold!

Hummus beings.

Well... nope. It's about a person's traits not what sex they are. My husband carries a BACKPACK - daily. With multitool, a bottle of water, hand sanitizer, water filter, rain jacket, a knife, and some energy bars... so am I. So either we are both preppers for zombie apocalypse... or just very smart people.

i do say same

Unicorn mic drop...

Hannibal lé dog

Still better than the people who CAPITALIZE every OTHER word for DRAMATIC effect. Also better than those who use the word 'literally' too much and incorrectly. "I literally went to the store." My head threatens to explode when people do that. Literally.

huahuas x(

No, it means you should have taken biology classes more seriously.

😂😂😂

That happen to my brother this past summer. His daughter said look daddy they fit me now.

Math should stop acting like a child and solve its own problems (not my quote but so true)

yes is it sad that i just did that to see waht it did?

This should be higher.

loool, I laugh so hrd that my cat sleeping next to me woke up, growl at me and leave :D

Hope this tweet gets more upvotes.

yes best vacation ever

love this he didnt want to break his airpods

i means shes not wrong

😂😂😂

Yeah, that's right.

I mean switching your letters around isn't dangerous until you try to pronounce it and accidentally summon a demon...

I'm the opposite. I don't work out, sit at a desk all day, and I'd still happily sleep 10+ hours a night 7 days a week.

He's a keeper ❤️

If that's the greatest lie the devil ever told you then you all lead charmed lives

Amen!

Maybe if the service industry wasn't rigged against the wait staff. When most of their wages come from tips.

It's not like she purposefully wrecked her car because she was in that costume.

Kinda sad. Seriously creepy

Kat Timpf rocks!!

I splurged on a carpet cleaner with a quick wash function, lol

You have options !

omg

I'm worried about this for a totally different reason...

People nowadays are f****d

Birthday cakes are communist!

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Yeah but have you ever had a text changed? I've sent something to whom is now an ex but the message she recieved from me was changed from what I had typed. So it then totally changed how this text would be read and interpreted.

UPVOTE FOR YOU UPVOTE FOR YOU AND AN UPVOE FOR YOU.... why can't I upvote this more??

when I hear someone say, "FREE CHEESEBURGER"