Jimmy Fallon Asked People Why Are They Single, And The Answers Will Make You Laugh, Then Cry

Should have named the cat Sheldon :D

Ahhh yes, the starfish. My girlfriends presumed sleeping position, the only difference is her arm frequently tries to suffocating me and her foot is wedged firmly in my giblets...

Like that guy phoebe dated on friends

This could have turned into a "conversation starter" had he laughed and explained himself. She may have found it (and him) appealing!

Hahaha I thought that was a normal thing to do. Before I went on my first date with my now lovely boyfriend, I looked him up and someone with the same name (name is very unique by the way) had a sex offender record in Florida (we live in Connecticut). Me on the first date, “have you ever lived in Florida?”. He laughed and said, “you looked me up didn’t you? By the way i know what you’re talking about, and if you looked closely, that other guy is much younger and he has a different middle name. So no, it’s not me.” Boy was I embarrassed! But we’re still together years later :).

I concur

STOP, wait a minute

Somewhere down the list we will find: "I thought I was making progress with the girl I like, until I found out she's a lesbian and she wants my mom. #WhyImSingle"

One girls creepy is another girls romantic (think Twilight) and stay positive! She's out there :)

Could have been me

I do that with Capri pants too :). Oh well!

Until you get to the window where they can see you.

That's adorable.

dads like this always creep me out

Kinky.

And the reason I'm single is that my response to that would be "Mmm, you gonna keep that promise?" (Likely as a joke, but I find that a fair amount of people can't tell when I'm joking or not.)

That is gross if you think about it

Disturbing. Would he say that to a girl about his son?

He'll regret it later when he sees there are no grandchildren coming because his daughter has no potential husband

Promise? ;)

let me wash my buttcrack first

Dad, not quite the right approach here.

Time to stop taking guys home. Or, tell stepdad to shut the f up.

A daughter is always her daddy's little girl that needs protection.

Go buy her a mansion!

I have met many pet owners who admit that they sometimes eat pet food because it tastes OK. Or adults who eat baby food because it tastes good and is easy and quick snack.

Awww, share the love brother.

Don't worry, my husband has been wearing same shirts too in the last couple of years. And nobody seems to find it weird. Also, cheaper this way.

Should have offered your date some.. you would not be single anymore!

Worth it.

and on the opposite end of that spectrum, i fight like hell to keep my icing OFF the plate--'cause it seems like you can NEVER get it all licked off once it touches it!

I'll be here when you retire, Lindsey.