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We crave more than sunshine, warmth, and good company in the Fall. Everyone needs a good dose of humor to keep away the Autumn blues as well. And we’ve got a great collection that will make you chuckle all ready and waiting for you.
We’ve collected, concocted, and collated some of the very best examples of funny tweets posted by women. Grab a mug of hot cocoa or mulled wine, get comfortable on the couch, grab your cat or doggo for some company, and start scrolling. Upvote your fave tweets and share this list with anyone who desperately needs to unwind.
You can read Bored Panda’s previous posts about hilarious tweets by women that made everyone crack up right here, here, here, aaaaand here.
This post may include affiliate links.
#1
Debra Robinson 6 years ago (edited)
i would have- heehee(if witchcraft were real and he is a turdmuffin))
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Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
How she did this ? Hummm, just asking for a friend, of course. 😜
RELATED:
#2
Pamela24 6 years ago
OMG, where are you from? I had no idea this exact saying is international! :) (Czech person speaking...)
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deanna woods 6 years ago
Why do parents tell these stupid lies instead of just saying " I don't want you to have green hair after Halloween."
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
Various come-backs:1) "She's over 21. When you turn 21, I'll get you a scotch, some lottery tickets, and some green hair dye." or (keep in mind I like fun hair colors and am only saying a response, not making a judgment) 2) "Well look at her; she's obviously a criminal!"
#3
Sunzilla 6 years ago
Silly bird should have flown the coop before the cops caught him. Actually, what? Were the police just having a laugh or were they serious about this? Since 2016 I can't tell what's real anymore.
April Simnel 6 years ago
Heeheehee! I know that in medieval times, animals could be tried for crimes. I hope a there's a legal eagle out there who'll take his case!
Full Name 6 years ago
I bet the more delicious an animal is, the more likely it was to be found guilty.
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Michelle Chevalier 6 years ago
I'm sure he'll turn into a stool pigeon if they knock some time off the sentence
Bored Panda spoke with Sophia Armen, one of the women who posted extremely viral tweets. In her post, she compared EU leaders sitting around a round table to hummus and got nearly half a million likes.
“I love hummus and it is always on my mind. I couldn’t help it,” Armen explained what inspired her to make the joke. “The image even had the parsley garnish! People around the world expressed they also saw hummus. And once they saw it, that they “couldn’t unsee it.” That is how I felt as well.”
“The tweet got a lot of love from users in the Middle East. I was happy that a tweet spread a little joy,” she said. “As a woman social media can be a scary place, especially when you are outspoken and community-committed. This tweet was a moment of joy that showed universal love of hummus. Just made me smile and laugh.”
#4
Dilly Millandry 6 years ago
No-one thinks that excuse is worth anything anyway.
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Lenka Smetanová 6 years ago
in my country we have a joke quite simmiliar to this... Man just woke up, and find a letter for his wife, where was said that she must go to shopping to buy some new things, and that she alrealy cleaned up all the mess, an also talk to his dughter and she will be ok, and she loves him... he dont understand so he go to the kitchen, where was his little son, eating breakfast. He asked him what happened. So his son told him, he came back really drunk, he smashed things around, and try hit on is 18y old daughter, so she must run to he room and lock herself... Man cant believe what hapened, so he ask his son "So, why your mum leave this letter where she wrote down that she loves me." and son responded"Oh yeah that... well when she managed to grab you, get you in the bedroom and try to undress you, you yell at her: Hands off lady! Im happy married!"
Dilly Millandry 6 years ago
yeah - that story is old but makes no sense that he'd hit on his 18 year old daughter if he's going 'hands off lady...'
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Kelly Hartle 6 years ago
So even when he's drunk he's loyal. At least give him props for that!
#5
Debra Robinson 6 years ago (edited)
like Donna's if she remembers The 10th Doctor and all the time with him
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Kristina Whatsabear 6 years ago
Whahahahhahahahah shock horror and full trauma!!! whahahahhahahah
Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
Teenagers that know all about social media and Makup but nothing about real life.
#6
glorytherainwing 6 years ago
life makes things more simple than they are. that was your advice for the day
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The relationship between humor, stand-up comedy, and gender is seen as innately ‘sexist’ by some. Being a stand-up comedian was, until recently, seen as a profession ‘meant’ almost exclusively for men due to how much ‘aggression’ it requires. However, this has partly changed in recent years. Female comedians are becoming more and more prolific, even though not everyone accepts them. A large portion of female stand-up comedians use humor as a platform to declare their political beliefs and promote feminism.
#7
Katie Peter 5 years ago (edited)
I'm just gonna like this so it's at 100........ And because frickin positivity
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Mirribelle 6 years ago
I have three plastic bags filled with plastic bags but not even a favorite spatula cause the cat chewed chunks off it 😭
Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
But you have a cat. That's much better than a favorite spatula.
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Stephanie Blasyak 6 years ago
I also have those things and I'm including a favorite mixing spoon and several folded up gift bags stuffed in the hall closet to be re used.
Judith Wilson 6 years ago
Me too!. they've been there for years. Nobody gets NUTHIN from me apparently.
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#8
Shelby P 6 years ago
so these medical staff never heard of depression? no wonder suicide is on the up-tick
Harley Hans Hoglin 5 years ago
I can laugh, cry, be angry, and even normal sad. I still have depression. TV depression is normal shown as putting the person one step away from being catatonic, or killing their self.
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Luisa Vasconcelos 6 years ago
Excessive crying is not meant for adults?!?! I always have this when I get my monthly bills, my period and when I want to be cozy in bed but have to go work.
John Greene 6 years ago
This then led to significantly more excessive crying and fits of hysteria as the panic set in that she could no longer adult. It’s okay, we get more than you really want to know about in the ER these days.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
Well she should have addressed it and offer resources for help. She fired!
deanna woods 6 years ago
I am 34 and do a lot of excessive crying. Is that nurse saying that I am a baby?
#9
Hard 2 Guess 6 years ago
PLOT TWIST: He's not really staring at op. He's staring in the space wondering who's the good boi?
TheExtremeSmell 6 years ago
It always surprised me in America people let their dogs drive cars
Humor is known to have positive side-effects. According to one study, laughter helps reduce blood pressure. While another one shows that laughing helps reduce anxiety, as well as other negative emotions. In other words, if you’re laughing, you most likely won’t be crying anytime soon.
What’s more, laughter can boost your immune system, improve blood circulation, calm down stress hormones, and even relieve pain! When you look at it this way, there’s barely anything that humor can’t help fix. Of course, it’s no substitute for exercise, a good diet, getting plenty of sleep, and doctor-approved medication or therapy if you need it, but laughter can give a big boost to your mood and your energy levels.
#10
dani_q 6 years ago
Well, did you start shaking and swinging your tail when you saw him walk in? :))) I bet the good boy did :))))))
Renee Gauthier 6 years ago
Or pee on the floor a little? Come on! Greet your man properly!
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George Digamma 6 years ago
There is a variant with babies. Husband enters, goes to the cradle ''where is my baby, where is my beauty, where is the smartest and next leader''. Turns his head on the left ''hello wife''.
#11
John Greene 6 years ago
Quick! Grab a potted plant of increasing size as you do that too. His coworkers will appreciate it
Joshua Crooks 5 years ago
This will be easier when you help yourselves into homelessness. I've been homeless. The sex is problematic.
#12
Corey Smith 6 years ago
I would be more concerned about why a tapeworm would be in the shower.
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Debbie Palmer 6 years ago
I s going to ask what a tape worm was doing in the shower but now I want to know what a piece of onion was doing there. Lol
#13
Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch 6 years ago
WHAT INSOLENCE! Send him off to fight in the gladiatorial pits as punishment.
xaspsx 6 years ago
Don't forget to first sweeten it with lead salts. Tasty deadly lead sweetner mmm
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MN Free Spirit 6 years ago
LOL, I have to share that with my friend we love our charcuterie lunches.
#14
Ms Phit 6 years ago
Very considerate teacher! They must know people with severe allergies- it can be deadly
María Hermida 6 years ago
Why does a university professor grade students' notebooks? That's OK for primary school, but it doesn't make a lot of sense in college.
Jasmine Hufflepuff Henderson 6 years ago
My English professor did. We had to write journal entries and they were a big part of our grade. She told us it would ease our mind from the essays we had to write.
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Stylishsidewaysbird 3 years ago
Honestly same. I was terrified for college after all the high school teachers were said how hard and strict it will be. Week 2 of lab professor walks in wearing board shorts and no shoes apologizing for being a few minutes late but the waves were killer this morning for surfing. Another came running in just on time but wearing a full leather motorcycle suit and carrying his helmet then gave us extra credit because he we were more professional than him. I have so many examples of laid back professors. And guess what? I learned so much better in a relaxed environment and an incredible successful!
#15
Virgil Blue 6 years ago
They do look awfully like some types of soft drink packages so I get were he comes from.
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Well, I Tried 5 years ago
To end the constant fear of smelling like blood
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MagNat 6 years ago
Someone explain to me why people who cheat are shocked when they're left. It's like, logical consequence.
Virgil Blue 6 years ago
I guess they think they are to smart to get caught? But is is very silly indeed.
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Maci Mae 6 years ago
I like that saying a lot...I'm gonna start using it!
Load More Replies... A B C 6 years ago
I'm really wondering, if I was in that situation, about the last thing that would come to my mind would be to grab the phone and snap a picture. But well.
Sinkvenice 6 years ago
Cheaters don't cry out of remorse or guilt, they cry because they've been caught.
#17
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 6 years ago
And the terror to see it was unplugged all the time
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Jacob/Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 6 years ago
I hated not knowing who was calling. It could have been anyone.
tuzdayschild 6 years ago
I'm pretty sure you're never gonna get a text on a phone made of jello.
#18
Rabbit Carrot 6 years ago
Fared better than me. I accidentally kicked the couch and my toe bone split in two. I was on crutches for 6 weeks.
Judith Wilson 6 years ago
that's the ulnar nerve and you actually can pass out
Load More Replies... deanna woods 6 years ago
When I was a kid I tripped over my sister's leg and knocked one of my teeth out.
Erika Jones 6 years ago
I know! Also on TV and in movies you can knock someone out with a bonk on the head and they wake up later perfectly fine...
Ashley Dopp 6 years ago
movies also have the opposite where in a fight scene the hero faces off with like 12 guys and only has to punch or kick them once for them to die or go unconscious
Martin Pim 6 years ago
If they fall in water, flailing their legs, they are also incapacitated !!
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Ellie Ragsdale 6 years ago
Because movie people are fueled by an adrenaline factory. And movies are not realistic.
#19
PaNdaheART 6 years ago
Or, sorry I'm late traffic was terrible (walking in with a Starbucks in hand...)
Rinpai 6 years ago
I will say that there were times when I was a kid and still in school there would be a massive wreck backing up traffic on the way to school and my mom would pull in to starbucks and get snacks and drinks for herself, my brother, and me to pass time in a less irritating way while it cleared up enough to get back on the road. We would go in and watch traffic be at a complete standstill for 20 minutes then go back to the car and get back in traffic once it started moving a bit. At most it only made us about 2 minutes more late than we already would have been, and when you are gonna be anywhere from 20 minutes to an hour late no matter, 2 minutes makes no difference. (Also we lived over an hour from my brother and my respective schools and were getting up at 5-6 am every day just to make it there by 9 am.)
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Carol McClellan 6 years ago
I really hate traffic and avoid it as much as possible. The only problem is the easiest way to get to the west side of Madison, WI is the Beltline. Yuck.
#20
Bob Beltcher 6 years ago
Me every night. It is literally 1055pm right now and I refuse to go to bed before 11.
Bluebell Rizzi 5 years ago
The pure souls in this comment section saying they stay up until 1am.. then there's me... the insomniac.
#21
Stephanie Blasyak 6 years ago
...this is why I have no kids, 3 cats, and captain crunch for dinner last night.
Night Owl 6 years ago (edited)
good thing you didn't eat the cats (and that you aren't Alf ... r-r-right?)
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Fuzzy Johnson 6 years ago
I sorted this one out a long time ago. No kids and I don't have to be a role model. If I want ice cream for dinner then the only question is how much chocolate syrup. Drizzle or soup?
Sara Nicole 3 years ago
Right!! When the kids are like can we get McDonald, I'm like hell yeah we can.
Anne Mitchell 3 years ago
I'm sorry, but that was not written in a form of English I understand.
#22
Kirsten Kerkhof 6 years ago
I desperately want to claim that's a lie ... but it's true! I do have a favorite stovetop burner! I'm too much of an adult ...
Ceredwyn Ealanta 6 years ago
It's the one on the right, because that's where the surface I can chop veggies is so I can - it...it makes sense. IT MAKES SENSE. I'M NOT BORING -
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Hard 2 Guess 6 years ago
Never thought about this before but not that I have, I must say, I prefer bottom right burner the most. Now I feel bad for rest.
Sill Marien 6 years ago
That not entirely wrong, but I have a least favorite one, other 3 I like just as much :D
Biljana Malesevic 6 years ago
Is it the closer one to the right? On second place farther one on the right. I never use left stovetops, God knows why.
Molly Porter 6 years ago
I'm 12 years old and I have a favorite stovetop burner! ...Is that a problem?!?
#23
Skater Chick (they/them) 2 years ago
https://letmegooglethat.com/?q=what+is+contouring%3F
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Parmeisan 6 years ago
God no. That would be like not going to any hairdresser who has a hairdresser of their own.
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Ashley Fernandes 6 years ago
That's awesome. I'm pretty sure most therapists have a therapist of their own. It's a stressful job.
Niffler_13 6 years ago
Therapist needing a therapist is understandable. But I'd want to know if she's discussing her patients in her therapy sessions.
Rinpai 6 years ago
No, they don't. Legally they cannot. And if they tried to, their therapist would shut that down. What is allowed however, is changing the names and details drastically, but in a way that still gets the same overall point across. For example say they had a patient named Betty who was self harming and wanted to die and nothing was working and it was hard on the therapist seeing how hopeless this person was they could go to their therapist and say they have a patient named harold who is eats to the point of making himself sick and knows its a problem but gave up
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No you didn't 6 years ago
Often times it's required for therapists in training to undergo therapy themselves. Nothing weird about that, they are just making sure that they are able to keep private and professional separate.
Cody Eriksen 6 years ago
At least your therapist was smart enough to know that they can't handle your situation! I don't mean for this to be a joke. I had one that really wasn't qualified for my situation. It took me three sessions to figure it out.
Trix 6 years ago
Doctors get sick and go to other doctors for advice and no one questions it. Chefs eat the food some other chefs make at other restaurants. Just because you're a therapist, it doesn't mean that you don't need one for your own mental health. I don't know what's so weird about it. But gotta say, I love the grand therapist concept.
#25
Biljana Malesevic 6 years ago
And after 8 hours in open office, I kinda want to be alone for month.
Shelby P 6 years ago
I work in an office with just one other person. Who I affectionately refer to as "Talky-Tammy". I need a vacation every weekend.
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#26
Ronnel Samonte 6 years ago
If I am the guy, I am definitely doing great :) and that kiss will be my sweetest memory :)
Sergio Bicerra Descalzi 6 years ago
Man, I hope they met 10 years from now, remember each other and confess they never forgot that kiss. Yeah, sometimes I like romantic movies...
John Greene 6 years ago
You made out with some random guy just for a picture? Sorry, but you clearly did not plan your trip well at all if you had to fake this
#27
Aleksandra Kozłowska 6 years ago
Because you my darling are shining diamond of nonsense and something better is waiting for you
John Greene 6 years ago
Came home one night and found my fiancé watching crime dramas dressed as Minnie Mouse. She’s just my kind of silly, and you are just the right kind of goofy for some lucky guy
Tammy Allen 6 years ago
Yup! My motto has always been love is just finding that person whos weird fits with your weird.
Load More Replies... deanna woods 6 years ago
You are a great sister and one day your sister will be dressing like a bush for your engagement.
#28
Dorothy Parker 6 years ago
Please, dear Lord only let my husband die after I'm waaaay too old to want to date.
#30
Isabella 6 years ago (edited)
Well... nope. It's about a person's traits not what sex they are. My husband carries a BACKPACK - daily. With multitool, a bottle of water, hand sanitizer, water filter, rain jacket, a knife, and some energy bars... so am I. So either we are both preppers for zombie apocalypse... or just very smart people.
Virgil Blue 6 years ago
As a guy I never leave the house without what I call "my bag of holding". Its just so damn useful to have instant access to some micro screwdrivers, break knives, pencils and stuff everywhere.
Sandy O'Rourke 6 years ago
That is hilarious! I bought my son a bag literally called "the backpack of holding" and he loves it !!
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M. Sabbe 6 years ago
i cary a bag everywhere in it a towel because "any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, rough it, slum it, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still knows where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with."
Wyndmere 6 years ago
Assuming your bag-gage made it onto every form of transportation you were on. There’s a lot of lost luggage floating around the galaxy.
Load More Replies... GenXandEarnedItAll 6 years ago
My guys at work tease me about bringing so many bags with me to work (we work 24 hour shifts). But who do they come to when they ANYTHING? This girl!
John Greene 6 years ago
We have pockets. We drink before we leave the house. Our lips get plenty of balm from morning kisses. My sanitizer is in the door of my car. And, we don’t get cold easily. Life is good. 🤪
Janine B. 6 years ago
Lol. Yes and you have girlfriends and wifes with huge bags to carry all the stuff you need.
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Rose the Cook 6 years ago
Then ask their wife/girlfriend if she has a comb or whatever in her bag!
Roselyn Park 6 years ago
Yup. Although I endeavour to carry drinking water, painkillers and tissues in case I need them, by the time _I_ need them (perhaps from the sweat and muscle strain of carrying so much c**p in my bag), they’ve been used up.
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Hannyyy 6 years ago
BoredTrashPanda needs to calm down. Assuming they are female and calling them a dumb b***h? I hope to god whoever upvoted it is a 7ft tall, male, bodybuilder.
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Jenica Thomas 6 years ago
I'm a woman who never has anything more than a pocket wallet and a chapstick on me when I leave the house.
#31
Kiss Army 6 years ago
I had an "episode" with my heart and at the ER they had to give me an EKG which meant they had to put leads on my lower legs. I was so embarrassed because I had transitioned into some winter no-shave time. I told the nurse how embarrassed I was and she told me that No-Shave November should count for women too.
Load More Replies... Rose Blumenblatten 6 years ago
The fact that you have to put up a sign to explain such a basic seasonal fact is scary to me...
Ruth Beaty 6 years ago
For all the idiots who think it would be a perfect garden year round...
Linda Phipps 1 year ago
Yes, and leave it to nourish next year's garden and provide cover for bees and other useful insects.
#32
Dilly Millandry 6 years ago
Paused on the steps... so is the door is open? If so how is she going through the doggy door? I can't picture this!!
RitaGG 6 years ago
I know, right? Exactly how big is this doggie door? Wouldn't said child get wedged inside the door opening with that fabulous unicorn backpack on her back? So many questions!
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Marlene Ricker 6 years ago
That's wonderful! Kids do come up with some amazing things to say and do.
#33
Chrissa P 6 years ago
I need more information about this dog. Like who is he? Where did he come from and why is he there? Does this mask come in other sizes and colors? Does doggo bite or woof too much or does he actually like the mask? What is his name?
Tammy Allen 6 years ago
I need one for my shirt snouted barker and I hope he looks this good lol
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Hamlets twin 6 years ago
Now I'm picturing Clarice as a yellow lab. And now I want to put a whole dogs only version together!
John Greene 6 years ago
How exactly did we get to this point? The dog is wondering, not me, I know people are loons.
#34
Id row 6 years ago
Still better than the people who CAPITALIZE every OTHER word for DRAMATIC effect. Also better than those who use the word 'literally' too much and incorrectly. "I literally went to the store." My head threatens to explode when people do that. Literally.
I'mNotARoboat 3 years ago
How does one figuratively go to the store? ( I agree with your point I just don't understand your example phrase.)
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#35
Dilly Millandry 6 years ago
Good grief - do you think you could eat more than one?
Load More Replies... Ms Phit 6 years ago
In Tucson we would respond with " Chiricahuas" ( an unusually beautiful mountain range in SE Arizona with lots of giant balancing rocks)
RitaGG 6 years ago
Yassssss! AKA the "Cherry Cows"! Welcome fellow Zonie! :-)
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Yehoshua Friedman 5 years ago
I think you've been overcooking them. They are tender and don't require that much cooking.
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#36
Christina Sersif 6 years ago
She paid attention in English class though so let’s focus on the positives lol
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Crochet lady 6 years ago
I have a delicate stomach and probiotics have made it possible for me to go back to eating many foods I had stoped eating. I had stopped dining out, now I can again. It took awhile to the right one, it's not one size fits all, I had actually just about given up thinking I had tried them all when I found the perfect one. Anyone with stomach issues should give them a try, but keep in mind you may have to try more than one to find the best one. And when I need an antibiotic my doc always says increase your probiotic for a few days and it seems to make a difference.
Chris Jones 6 years ago
Pleased for you - will be having a look to see if I can find a similar answer. 😃
Load More Replies... Susan Gardner 6 years ago
OMG people are taking these things wayyyyyy too seriously. They are JOKES, people. JOKES! Lol
#37
Chris Jones 6 years ago
Faster for them to tap out but it just means most of us have to read it either more slowly or twice to work out what they're drivelling on about.
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Lotus Queen 6 years ago
I'm in class, and when i saw this, i almost died trying not to laugh. Off to detention !
Marty BlackEagle-Carl 6 years ago
i agree with him, you should of woken him to go to bed. or let him know you were... only polite.
Cindy Snow 5 years ago
Because if you woke him up to go to bed, he might not have been able to go back to sleep.
#38
Hello it Smee 6 years ago
That happen to my brother this past summer. His daughter said look daddy they fit me now.
The Original Bruno 2 years ago
I thought for a moment that your brother shrank.
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Jo B. Ventura Gurule 6 years ago
Amazing I left one croc slipper/thong on the sidewalk forgot about it TIL a couple of days agoi I remembered! It.shrank about a whole size plus!!
#39
Octavia Hansen 6 years ago
No matter how many problems are solved, there's always another problem. At least a ballpark figure is entertaining . . .
Octavia Hansen 6 years ago
Even when I solve a problem, there will ALWAYS be another one. A ballpark figure is ever so much more entertaining . . .
#40
Dorothy Parker 6 years ago
Finds words, phrases, but she wants it for her hair ties that disappear once worn.
Load More Replies... Jenn Unicorn Popping 6 years ago
mine would be ctrl-F for the 200 cat springs that are hiding all over the place...
Wyndmere 6 years ago
My friends taped 3 remotes to cardboard - really hard to loose that slab of plastic and buttons.
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Madzdad the bard 6 years ago
I have a daughter in volleyball and a fiancee with long hair. I find hair ties in the most unusual places!
Seabeast 6 years ago
I've discovered that hair ties are the best way to keep the chuck key attached to my ancient drill.
Load More Replies... I'mNotARoboat 3 years ago
They're in the couch, your purse, under your bed, and in the laundry room. Possibly in the junk drawer.
#41
How Terribly Unfortunate 6 years ago
Cats like to follow lights and ESPECIALLY red laser pointers.
Load More Replies... #42
Lenka Smetanová 6 years ago
loool, I laugh so hrd that my cat sleeping next to me woke up, growl at me and leave :D
#43
TeeMarieTisMe 5 years ago
Yes! I know people who have cats named Steph Purry (Steph Curry) & Kitty Purry. (Katy Perry)
#44
How Terribly Unfortunate 6 years ago
I was thinking more along the lines of: Then on the third day they realize how sunburned they are, but that works, too.
Zenozenobee 6 years ago
Oh my, that sound good. I never thought to psend my vacation this way, never realised what I missed!
#46
#49
Katherine Boag 6 years ago
I mean switching your letters around isn't dangerous until you try to pronounce it and accidentally summon a demon...
#50
Mariana Schneider 6 years ago
I'm the opposite. I don't work out, sit at a desk all day, and I'd still happily sleep 10+ hours a night 7 days a week.
Dorothy Parker 6 years ago
Surprisingly, working out generates more energy once you get into the routine.
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Elaine Dodge 5 years ago
You'd been living together for a week before you said anything to each other?
#51
#52
#53
#54
Hello it Smee 6 years ago
Maybe if the service industry wasn't rigged against the wait staff. When most of their wages come from tips.
Hello it Smee 6 years ago
Could you imagine in any other business where it is ok to give services to the customer and they just decides what your worth, instead of paying you a fair price for the service they received? You fixed my car and I pay will for parts, but refuse to pay labor. That what a******s do to servers!
Nicola Roberts 6 years ago
In the UK, 1998, they brought in the minimum wage and guess what hell did not freeze over. However, we now have zero hour contracts for those worried about paying their bills.
#55
#56
Ester Labuschagne 6 years ago
BoredTrashPanda, you're probably one of the people who commented...
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#58
#59
#60
heidi holmes 6 years ago
No...not his doppleganger, but could possibly be his family member...
#61
Pamela24 6 years ago
I mean I'm not saying it's a good joke but it's intended as a joke nevertheless.
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Iva Kazalova 6 years ago
You don’t really understand sarcasm much, do you
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#63
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#67
Dorothy Parker 6 years ago
Save time. Market, bring home the groceries and put anything that requires cooking directly in the trash.
#68
OffKeySinger 6 years ago (edited)
I'm "received so many AOL CDs that I had 30 of them tied to a tree for holiday decorations" older than you
BlackWolfFire 6 years ago
"Still using tumblr and MySpace instead of Facebook" except I'm 16 and just don't understand more recent apps
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PyroKitty 5 years ago
I didn't water mine for like 6 months and it overgrew so much it covered the top of a shelf. Someone please explain
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kkathleen517 6 years ago
What is SMH? I keep coming across these in posts what the hell? It's like another language, man I'm not going to sit around for five mins trying to figure out what words start with smh just type that s**t out. Some Monkey Hype? Is that it? Someone Moo's Hello? Smoke Marijuana Hookahs? Yep, that must be the one. ( I totally sat around for five mins trying to figure it out) damn it!
Lorraine R 6 years ago
Paying calls was a big part of upper middle class social life in the 19th-early 20th century. Most people had "at-home" times when they expected visitors, and if people just showed up at other times, the servant could inform them that "madam is not at home" -- unless it was someone madam wanted to see, in which case the servant would fix the tea and snacks.
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Niffler_13 6 years ago
They were originally made from left over tortillas. A chef from Disney created them.
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Niffler_13 6 years ago
No thanks, I don't want to have to wait 6 months to a year for a scan that could mean life or death.
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Aldhissla VargTimmen 6 years ago
This may seem like a bad bf but if my husband, who can not always say in words what he wants to say, went to google search for something that describes his feelings it wouldn't mean less to me. I think this is sweet :)
littlesaresare 6 years ago
Including something as specific as "your monthly doctor's checkup" is a pretty big red flag that its not a genuine message. What are the chances the user is in that position? >_>
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Niffler_13 6 years ago
Very, considering every time you flush the toilet you release millions of particles from inside the bowl into the bathroom.
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Lorraine R 6 years ago
Actually this is brilliant -- finding out what's really in this stuff that you put on your skin all the time.
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Jacob/Becca Gizmo the Squirrel 6 years ago
I count heating my hot pocket in the microwave as cooking so boiling anything is definitely cooking to me
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张艺兴 6 years ago
I'm guessing this is what they mean download-5...e8ddd.jpeg 
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Demi Zwaan 6 years ago
Well, you do have a hunter, a trapper and a fisher, so you're all set for Robinson's island.
happy_bisexual 6 years ago
i hate when people do this and give their kids these weird names like for heavens sake just name them Casey and not kase
misteriosa 6 years ago
I feel this on so many levels, people in my country also tend to give weird and 'exotic' names, sometimes with letters our alphabet doesn't have. 'Ooooh, but it has X meaning', ok, respect, it can be the most beautiful name somewhere, but please, keep in mind where you live and what problems on day-to-day basis your child might and will have.
Claire Murray 3 years ago (edited)
I'm confused about the Zerachiel. The only normal one is David
Elaine Dodge 5 years ago
Usually, I would agree with the silliness of weird names for the sake of it. But in this case, there's nothing 'entitled' or 'weird' about naming your children, David, (That name is 4000 years old at least. Records indicate that 3,548,278 boys in the United States have been named David since 1880. Eva (been around since 1898 at least and is a derivative of Eve) Josie (short for Josephine - remember Josephine married to Napoleon Bonaparte?) Wyatt (has been around since the Middle ages - and have you forgotten Wyatt Earp?), Hunter has been a name since 1900, Brody - the name of at least seven different Pictish Kings between the 6th and 9th centuries. Layla is of Egyptian/Arabic origins, it can mean "wine," "intoxication," "night," or "dark beauty." Often spelled "Leila," it was popularized by Eric Clapton's 1970 hit song "Layla."
djinnjeannie 6 years ago
BoredTrashPanda, the name Eve or Eva has a fairly long history and is still common too dumb a*s
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Niffler_13 6 years ago
We can't afford houses, how do they expect us to afford country club memberships lol
Parmeisan 6 years ago
Not the post, but boomers. It's a common thing, long whiny articles lamenting industries that are currently seeing decline and which they always lay on the feet of millennials. Diamonds, fabric softener... I hadn't heard golf, but sure. So boomers are lamenting golf.
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Kathy Smith 6 years ago
And the top of the new jar of peanut butter when it’s still all smooth, until I dig into it for the first huge spoonful!
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CrunChewy McSandybutt 6 years ago
It came out in 1998, twenty-one years ago. For a cartoon that's super old.
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Demi Zwaan 6 years ago
Maybe not wear a dress with a personal space device attached to it, so other people can be in the picture and not stand on it?
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sav 6 years ago
Please DO NOT, we have seen Harley try. Hot take, she failed and he f****d her over and she's just now begun to get her s**t together. than again, maybe you too will find a natrue loving girlfriend who is never jealous of your open relationship
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Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch 6 years ago
A*S A*S IN... That poster is also hanging at the local gay bar
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CincyReds 6 years ago
I do some catering, as a bartender, and every wedding has been open bar...The amount of money spent is just crazy!
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Nadine 6 years ago
Downvote "kAiTLyN" for being snarky. She still thinks alternating caps are cool, has childishly embraced the "ok boomer" movement, and doesn't realize there are plenty of people from all over the world reading this post who might not get some bits of slang, especially when said slang reads like a damn typo.
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Niffler_13 6 years ago
She's complaining that being 23 is so difficult and she envies women of the 14th century who died before reaching that age.
Load More Replies... Marcellus the Third 6 years ago
Putting candles in your bed when you're too tired... you may end up 23 forever.
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Niffler_13 6 years ago
I once got a message like that at 3am from a guy I hadn't talked to in almost 3 years.
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Emerald Joanna 6 years ago
I have NEVER heard a guy say "do you want to do your skincare routine in my bathroom?" If i am staying at a boys place you best believe half my make up wil end up smeared on the pillowcase and I will wake up looking like death...
Anne 6 years ago
Handy tip: tiny packages of 10 lotion wipes in your purse.
Load More Replies... Elaine Dodge 5 years ago
Dial hand soap? What is that? The last few of these posts have become completely incomprehensible. The lack of grammar, decent sentence structure... I can't take anymore.
Danielle Renee 5 years ago
this didn't happen...do you wanna do your skin care routine??? nope
#128
Dispatcherqueen 6 years ago
She wrecked his car and left his bumper on the porch
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What do you think ?
Ivy 6 years ago
I'm also really tired of these gendered posts from Bored Panda. The fact that women are funny is not news worthy or surprising because PEOPLE are funny. Enough with the "Women being funny" and "Dads being parents" posts.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 6 years ago (edited)
I’m with you, Ivy. I think we are seeing a surge in “posts” like this because: a) it requires very little to no research b) it’s going to bring in a lot of traffic and get people to post, debate, and complain c) it’s an easy post that can instantly be repurposed on other listicle websites. Frankly, I just find posts like this boring.
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Casey C 6 years ago
These are funny, but why does the gender of the person who posted them matter?
kranthi raj 3 years ago
Because men and women are different and they have different life experiences.
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Hans 6 years ago
"xzy Times [Gender] Shared Their Thoughts On Twitter And Made People Crack Up". Gender = Women: "Hey, great to see these posting!" Gender = Men: "Why mention it comes from men you patriachist sexist swine?" Whz not just say "funny tweets"?
Parmeisan 6 years ago
Interesting take, but the top two posts on this are saying exactly what you predicted would be said for men, and they have ~30 upvotes each. In actuality we are all tired of this gendered nonsense, non-TERF feminists included.
Load More Replies... Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
I just like a laugh and don’t care if it women, men or children.
DANNY DIVITO 6 years ago
hey bored panda this was funny but maybe some more original content would be great, thanks!
kranthi raj 3 years ago
There is nothing wrong with saying " Funny tweets by women ". Men and women have different life experiences.
Tracy Kelly 5 years ago
Karen Kilgareth is one of the hosts of the podcast My Favorite Murder.
Ivy 6 years ago
I'm also really tired of these gendered posts from Bored Panda. The fact that women are funny is not news worthy or surprising because PEOPLE are funny. Enough with the "Women being funny" and "Dads being parents" posts.
Loki’s Lil Butter Knife 6 years ago (edited)
I’m with you, Ivy. I think we are seeing a surge in “posts” like this because: a) it requires very little to no research b) it’s going to bring in a lot of traffic and get people to post, debate, and complain c) it’s an easy post that can instantly be repurposed on other listicle websites. Frankly, I just find posts like this boring.
Load More Replies... Casey C 6 years ago
These are funny, but why does the gender of the person who posted them matter?
kranthi raj 3 years ago
Because men and women are different and they have different life experiences.
Load More Replies... Hans 6 years ago
"xzy Times [Gender] Shared Their Thoughts On Twitter And Made People Crack Up". Gender = Women: "Hey, great to see these posting!" Gender = Men: "Why mention it comes from men you patriachist sexist swine?" Whz not just say "funny tweets"?
Parmeisan 6 years ago
Interesting take, but the top two posts on this are saying exactly what you predicted would be said for men, and they have ~30 upvotes each. In actuality we are all tired of this gendered nonsense, non-TERF feminists included.
Load More Replies... Michelle Muirhead 6 years ago
I just like a laugh and don’t care if it women, men or children.
DANNY DIVITO 6 years ago
hey bored panda this was funny but maybe some more original content would be great, thanks!
kranthi raj 3 years ago
There is nothing wrong with saying " Funny tweets by women ". Men and women have different life experiences.
Tracy Kelly 5 years ago
Karen Kilgareth is one of the hosts of the podcast My Favorite Murder.
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