If you’re in need of some giggles today, you’ve come to the right place, pandas. We’ve taken a trip to the Today Years Old Instagram page and gathered some of their most hilarious memes and screenshots down below.
No matter how many trips you’ve taken around the sun, we’re all “today years old” at the moment, and we all deserve to enjoy some silly content. So have fun scrolling through, and remember to upvote the pics you’ll want to see when you're "tomorrow years old" and "next week years old" too!
More info: X | Facebook | TikTok | TodayYearsOld.com
This post may include affiliate links.
It probably was cool when she started wearing it too.
Load More Replies...I gotta say most men get this and I think any emotionally healthy man doesn't want to creep out women. I used to run at night (only time I had to do it) and every male runner I encountered would either cross the road, give me a really wide berth - even run out onto the road to do so or, if he was coming up behind me, would cough or clear his throat so I'd know he was there. Mind you, it only takes that one predator who has that one opportunity and your life is never the same again.
Load More Replies...That's why I switch sides when I cross a woman in the dark, I wouldn' t like be seen as a threat
Where do you live, if you don't mind. Well, area... not exactly lol. I'm 50 and I've never had a man not do this to some level.
Load More Replies...Thank you dear! Not alle men - we know that. BUT: ALL women I know have had unwanted experiences with men. Thar's why!
Exactly! - 'not all sharks' bite people still you're not going swimming in shark infested waters are you...
To avoid being seen or being labelled as anything, I consciously avoid ladies at my workplace (17M working in retail) whether they're co-workers or customers. I'm still polite and all but I don't do small talk. My other male colleagues keep calling me out saying I'm gay for doing that. In their words, the women want a man on their necks. And where I live, I think it's kinda true cos a month ago I was stuck in an elevator with this lady due to a power outage for 30 minutes or so. She was shocked by how calm I was, then proceeded to get offended and report me to the manager when I refused to give her my number. No joke, she said I didn't know how to make small talk with customers and all that bullcrap. Luckily, the manager just played it off but I was so confused for the rest of the day. What should I have done in that situation? Didn't mean to write this much guys lol
I think your instincts are good. It's disappointing that your other male colleagues are calling your respectful behavior "gay", and the woman's behavior also wasn't great. You're on the right track,and I can assure you that most women do NOT "want a man on their necks".
Load More Replies...How does this count as "funny" or "unhinged"? It's absolutely right. I used to take it personally when women crossed the street to avoid my walking behind them, because *I'm* not one of the bad guys...until I realised that the woman in front had no way of knowing that.
Brilliant to read this from a man who actually understands :) Thank you
There are many good reasons to not want kids (most of them problems for one self, the kids, the world...) so in my book not selfish. It's more selfish to want kids just to procreate. What could be more selfish than that? That being said: it's ok to sometimes be selfish.
Having children is selfish - people have them because they want them. That's absolutely fine and I'm happy that people do. People can have multiple reasons why they don't want them, selfishness can be a large part of it but sometimes it's because you know full well you'd not be a good parent or your circumstances are awful.
Load More Replies...I have nothing against people who biologically desire children to have them, but I have everything against those who try to impose this upon others who do not have those same drives. The world is already overpopulated
Yes! But we're not allowed to say it - even Sir David Attenborough got censored for it (in the UK the BBC only made the last episode of his latest series available to stream rather than show on TV because he dared to say we should basically stop breeding. He obvs said it much more eloquently but you get the idea).
Load More Replies...I honestly don't understand how it's selfish not to have children that you don't actually want. I have no children, but my brother and I were very much wanted - and that's what every child deserves, nothing less
I don't doubt that my parents wanted me--my sisters weren't planned, but I was--but I can say with confidence that my folks had no plans for how to raise us, and we're stuck living with that for the rest of our lives
Load More Replies...Creating a whole extra human being to justify your own existence seems pretty...idk...selfish.
I personally realized when I was young, that I didn't want children because I"M TOO SELFISH. I don't want to be spending my hard earned money on some ungrateful "parasites". I realized that I don't want to spend my time doing the things that it takes to be a father. So I have always discussed this with potential partners. I don't have children. I will never have children because I understand that I'm selfish.
I think knowing you don't want kids and actively avoiding having them is far more responsible than people think!
nothing wrong with not wanting kids, it's not like we have a child shortage
Why is it selfish? Who else is going to benefit from my having children apart from a capitalist economy who needs someone to exploit? They'll cope without my non-existent children.
Just because someone has the ability to have kids doesn't mean they should. My sister and her husband chose to remain childless and they couldn't be happier. My mom used to give her a hard time until I asked her, once, in front of everyone in my family, "Mother, why is her uterus and what she does with it of SUCH importance to you? Is the nine grandkids you already have not enough?" She never said another word about it. My sister thanked me.
The Today Years Old Instagram account is dedicated to sharing entertainment, news and memes. And clearly, it’s doing a great job, as the account has amassed an impressive 9.1 million followers since its creation in 2018. But if Instagram isn’t your favorite platform, have no fear. Today Years Old can also be enjoyed on X, Facebook, and TikTok as well.
TYO even has their own website, TodayYearsOld.com, which explains their community. “We’ve created a network of social accounts that drive influence,” the site states. “Leveraging creative content and marketing strategies, our approaches have allowed us to build a highly engaging and organic audience across all platforms. From viral memes and trending videos to fun facts and discoveries, our communities are centered around content that speaks to people.”
I got so tired to being the one to put in then mental effort and planning for ordinary every things. My husband and I talked about it, and now whilst I am planning the menu, composing the shopping list etc, he is washing dishes, doing the laundry, vacuuming the stairs... What I am doing has not changed, but it is being recognised as being part of the housework. It's being valued and appreciated. We each have our own tasks, and it feels like a balance has been reached.
My wife and I have recently talked a lot about taking on each other's mental load. We'll actively look at grabbing the burden of having to think through something when we know the other will be stressed or burned out and need rest. It's a great way to share responsibility equitably.
Load More Replies...It gets exhausting having to always be the one to make plans, regardless of the type of relationship. It's nice when someone else does it
And it's exhausting having to be continually on top of everything. Housework is a regular chore-the dusting has to be done, the floors have to be cleaned. It's a repetitive routine and predictable, so why did I have to remind him every single time? Why can't they see something needs doing, and do it themselves without me having to ask? And why did they get so upset that I didn't thank him enough for clearing up mess that HE had made? His excuse was always "I left it for you because I know you like housework" No, I like having a clean house and that's different.
Load More Replies...Agreed - it is very tiring always being the one who makes plans, organises the kennels for the dogs, asks someone to water the plants etc etc etc
1 zillion% agree with this. I’m tired of deciding where we are going, and what to make for dinner.
Making a date or hang-out time special for the woman is treating her as the princess she be.
As someone dating from apps, I seem to meet SO many new residents that want me to be their entertainment planner. I don’t mind half the time but it’s rare these days to actually get asked out where the dude makes all parts of the plan (reservations, picks somewhere between us).
Sounds like the type to start a juicy rumour if there wasn't one going round, true or not.
Extroverts - you know how lockdown was so out of your comfort zone you were climbing walls - yeah, that's how introverts feel living in your world, every. damn. day. Lockdown was awesome!
Yes. The rest of the world finally on my level...
Load More Replies...I definitely qualify as an introvert but I kinda liked going in to my last workplace my co-workers made me laugh daily more than I usually would in a week, they also helped me beat the s**t out of booze when I fell down
Good for them! And for you! Speaking as someone in recovery, having people who support you makes a huge difference.
Load More Replies...At the company I work at we are allowed to a 3/2 split of our week. So 3 days in office 2 at home. Most people in the company work from home on Fridays.... me and about 4 or 5 other people come in... why... there is no drama, no one trying to gossip and stir up s**t. It's the most peaceful day of the week!!!!
I wish I could've gone remote! 😭 Our bosses found a way to make our non-essential business "essential"... I ended up getting covid, thank you for that 🤬
I'd far rather a very simple wedding, and use the money as a downpayment on a house.
20k where I live wouldn't make it as a downpayment on a house
Load More Replies...Totally agree. In one month I will have a special occasion: 25th wedding anniversary. My extended family expect a big party, which is a standard in Poland for such an august occasion. Instead we are planning a second honeymoon, or first maybe, because back in the day we could not afford real honeymoon. I will not pay a hefty bill just so my cousins could get drunk. Hell no.
big weddings seem to be a waste, especially when almost nothing goes as planned
With a 20k trip I could do my dream trip of Alaska, Yukon, BC, then down to NW/W USA - WHO DO I ROB
Right?? But also I hate weddings. If I ever get married, it's gonna be a bbq in the backyard, and I'll be wearing sweatpants.
If you want to spend a lot on a wedding, spend it things that will make it a lot if fun. The only thing that anybody ever remembers for a a wedding are A. the food, B, whether they had fun, and C, anything that went wrong or was weird. Most people spent $20,000 just to set up C.
We’re big fans of Today Years Old Media here at Bored Panda, so this actually isn’t the first time we’ve covered one of their accounts. And lucky for us, when we featured posts from their X page about a year ago, we were able to get in touch with the company’s founder, Aidan Schwieger.
As far as where the inspiration for Today Years Old Media came from, Aidan shared, "I always found myself coming across random facts that truly blew my mind, and couldn’t help but share them in the hope that others would find them as fascinating as I did.” This list features mostly memes and silly photos, but on the group’s X account, there are many fun facts that followers can learn when they’re “today years old.”
No doubt. There are a lot of people (like me) that need to remember this.
Load More Replies...This reminds me of this line I heard- “I love you a lot but I dont like you anymore”.
You can tell someone you love them ten times a day, but if your actions make them think you don't, eventually they may stop believing you.
recommend reading, "The Five Love Languages". We all feel loved in different ways and this book helps you discover which is your 'love language'.
Sometimes it's the "feeler's" issue they need to work through and the other is doing absolutely nothing wrong. Love is more than a feeling. Love is action and consistency. Love is going to work day after day to provide. Love is letting the other take the first shower so they can have all the hot water they could want. Love is making the coffee in the morning. Love is walking the dogs in the morning so she can wake up slowly. Since love is also action and consistency, the "feeler" can easily take for granted all the ways they are indeed truly and deeply loved and simply want more like a spoiled child who doesn't appreciate the things they have because they saw something else cool on TV. Social media is killing romance and individualized love expression because we want to keep up with the Joneses instead of living our lives how we want to.
And eventually the only time you say you love each other is going out the door, when you might as well be saying anchovies because it's said on autopilot rather than with any meaning. If this sounds like you, reply anchovies next time your partner is going "off to work now, see you at 7, love you"; "anchovies", and if they don't stop...
During family therapy I talked about how my parents destroyed my life. They treated me horribly during these meetings, from manipulation through laughing at my pain to comparing me to the killer of the president of Gdansk. I said my parents didn't love me. The therapist asked them if they love me. They said yes and everyone looked at me like I was being stupid.
Me too, I have one very specific book that I read every summer and have done so for the past 30 years. It's called "My Family, and Other Animals" by Gerald Durrell.
Load More Replies...I know it 😅 I have my 'familiar' comfort shows. I mix new ones in, try em out. But on a bad day, I want that familiarity
Which version, the British original or the one with Steve Carell?
Load More Replies...TV shows, movies, books, video games, even music playlists or albums; my life is all of those on repeat to deal with anxiety.
Yeah video games, I love Minecraft for my anxiety sometimes.
Load More Replies...Yes, I read some books over again for that kind of relaxation. My favorite fiction writer, because his prose is so smooth, is Stephen King
Me too! I have read The Stand 15 times now. I was so disappointed with the new miniseries. The 1992 (4?) Original TV miniseries is one of my comfort shows. I have 3 versions on DVD in case of damages. It's not available on TV It was on Youtube but now it missing most of it. I like the audio book as well . Also enjoy IT, Dr. Sleep and The Talisman multiple times
Load More Replies...OK, I have seen the movie The Sound of Music over 33 times (I stopped counting after that) and I'm still anxious at the end when they are almost caught and the BF is the traitor. My husband (and probably my children when they were here) doesn't understand. It's just that I'm so into to movie that nothing else matters at that point. I used to read the end of books to make sure it finished well before I started reading it.
I watched the Sound of music so many times, too! It's my mum's favorite movie and even my 2 years old nice loved it (she would specifically asked to watch it)
Load More Replies...It's my adhd that keeps me rewatching shows/movies. I can't concentrate on new shows. I might watch an episode or 2 but never go back and finish them.
Load More Replies...I think tax avoidance is trashier when the rich do it because they're just being greedy monsters
You heard the orange president, it's called "being smart" when you are rich.
Load More Replies...I think the implication is that the poor person is an immigrant
Load More Replies...Avoiding taxes is like saying: "I don't want to be a citizen anymore."
"I’m truly amazed that the project has had such a positive response on Twitter, literally overnight,” Aidan went on to say. “We’ve had a long-standing presence on Instagram, but I’m so glad the content we share has now found a home on Twitter as well.”
And when it comes to what Aidan decides to share to his followers, he previously told Bored Panda, "In all honesty, I really share whatever interests me. I love learning new things and when I come across something unusual or unexpected, I can’t help but share it.”
"Pull the lever, Kronk!" "Wrong lever!" Lmfao 🤣
Load More Replies...I thought Thanos couldn't choose, but the fact that Tony Stark wiped out Thanos and his army means he could have chosen to eliminate only evil beings.
Load More Replies...Ultron. Dude spends 10 seconds on the internet and knows that it's the humans that are the actual problem.
Jeez I think I agree more with villains than the “heroes”
Load More Replies...Dexter! But minus the chopping people up thing. Don't know that I could do that part. But killing bad people because they were never really punished: that's for me! I'm coming for you BB, JT, and MG.
Oops! I so thought the question could be about any fictional villain. Sorry, Pandas!
Load More Replies...Bane from batman. The rich do suck and should be punished for hoarding wealth
I wish the Rapture was a real thing, and that it worked like this: if you think you’re so special that you’re convinced the Rapture will take you, it does, and then the reasonable and neighborly among us are left in peace.
Thanos has the right intentions, but not the right idea of how to help people at all.
being able to smile and wave at small children without mom scooping up and hold them tightly against a perceived threat.
I used to be bitter about the bureaucrats who shut down my GI bill after joining the Navy in the middle of the Vietnam War, but now I understand it was a blessing in disguise.
Truly is a privilege. Had college, a job a wife and a baby. Eventually college was gone as was the wife and eventually the job. What was left is my wonderful daughter. I’m a winner.
Sounds like a song. The never-ending-ness 🎶 the never ending mess 🎶
Load More Replies...Thank goodness I have a massive couch. Clean laundry take up 3/4 of it...
Load More Replies...aged 68 here - lived away from home since I was 16 - started off really loving the freedom to eat what I want when I wanted - having children and realising that I had to organise buying and then cooking the food - every. single. day . forever and ever and ever and ever - oh and the washing - did I meantion the washing? But mostly the deciding what to eat , buying it, cooking it, washing the dihes up and then starting over
That's it's not just that you have to make dinner every night. You have to come up with an idea for what to cook every single night for the rest of your life.
And 98% of them are repetitive. The relentless, boring routines we must endure daily is too much sometimes.
Because Today Years Old had only recently taken off on Twitter when we last spoke with Aidan, he noted that it’s difficult to know what content resonates the most with followers. “But we hope to continue to be a daily source of trending facts and discoveries in a variety of topics,” he added.
Unfortunately the sleazy dates will lie and say "no", when, in fact, there is someone
Very few are good liars if you know the tells. Its always worth asking the hard questions, because the answers always reveal somerhing.
Load More Replies...Me too! "Is there anyone who will try to get rid of me because they think I'm taking you away from them?" typa thing.
Load More Replies...Ha! I should have used this way back when. Started to figure things out when I was going on too many Tuesday dates. If he never asks you out on the weekends, he already has a significant other.
Took me way to long to realise breakfast dates werent because they were quirky.
Load More Replies...Do you return your grocery cart or just leave it for someone else to take it back?
I wish we had a cry room at work. I'd use it every day. Maybe multiple times.
I work in a mostly abandoned building. We have hundreds of cry rooms.
Load More Replies...God, the poor bugger. How much mental strain and anguish must he be under for this to be a reality?
Perhaps he is like me! 1. Obsessively plans over every minute of the day, and 2. A lot of things are causes to cry lately
Load More Replies...I've got five minutes free to cry right after two o'clock. Put it on the schedule.
If you are crying at work, you need to start looking for SOMETHING else
I had one co-worker who mentioned at dinner to her family that she had cried at work that day. The kids were concerned and she said "it's okay, I wasn't the only one".
Now, if you had asked him about it we'd all know why he did it wouldn't we, Jessica?
In Denmark we work 37 hour weeks and more and more are going for a 4 day week now. It's increasing the overall productivity by 8-12%
Load More Replies...Not a morning person. I’d rather die than be at work by 7. I’ll take 10-6, or even 11-7.
I used to have that schedule, Not any more. Newly retired and it is 11 pm and I don't have to worry about my bedtime.
Load More Replies...Where I live many, if not most, companies and even government bodies have flexible working hours, you literally come any time between 7 and 9 and leave accordingly, 3 to 5.
Lol when I still lived in Europe, my direct colleague had a flexible time. I never realized it was only for him due to a very long commute but that it was for us both since we worked together. So I frequently started 30-45 minutes later than I actually was supposed to and did that for a little more then 5 years until management finally told me that I couldn't do it and was fired on the spot for doing it. I got the last laugh, though, thanks to worker protections there. They ended up having to pay me one month's pay for every year I worked there lol
Load More Replies...I worked at a place where you worked for 40 hours a week, no more, and you set up your hours when you wanted. On guy worked 10 hours a day, four days a week. If you worked late one day, you had to take that time off, preferably that week. Lunch was included in the 8 hours, so long as it was reasonable. There were issues at that employer, but they understood that employees are being paid for 40 hours per week, and only owe 40 hours of work per week.
Thank you but I really wish more people would openly acknowledge that there are those of us that would rather be up and doing things first thing in the morning
The founder also wanted to encourage readers to never stop seeking out new information. "There is always something new to learn in our world. You can never really know everything,” he previously shared. "I hope this project will allow people to find new interests and encourage us to continue to be curious about the world around us."
I think so. I cried SO much as a kid, in fact I still do cry, and I get that pain before I cry
Load More Replies...Does this sound familiar to anyone? "Quit your crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"
I have to physically force the muscles in my face to block the flow from tear glands
I always thought that pain was part of crying. Like, crying = water from eyes, red face, throat pain, hiccups from being quiet, and twitchy fingers
It is interesting that you celebrate this act of petty passive-aggressive act of vengeance so publicly and proudly. This reinforces my feelings that not being able to access "higher education" was a blessing in disguise. I may have found myself in a position of power while in a state of corruption.
Maybe next time you´ll spend some time to learn to get over being mocked by someone more easiliy. It´s worth it :-)
In Europe we have the museum night since 2005. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Long_Night_of_Museums
The British Museum does sleepovers for 8-15 years olds fairly often. And thankfully, they don't actually steal your kids. And the Natural History Museum does one for adults a few times a year (but its over £200 a ticket ;-; )
Load More Replies...One time in girl scouts we got to sleepover at the Connecticut Children's Museum. It was awesome
Jealous! My helicopter mom wouldn't let me do the Girl Scout sleepover at Museum of Science in Boston.
Load More Replies...It is odd that museums, most of which are inside temperature controlled buildings, close for the evening, especially when you consider most people have day jobs or school.
I know i hate having to wake up at four in the mourning just to be part of the world. More business should be open at night.
There was a museum in (I think) Vancouver that was open for new year's eve. There are often night events at museums in Melbuorne too.
They’re often rented for private events in the evening. I’ve been to several conference social events that happened in museums. You have some nibbles in the gardens and then wander around parts of the exhibition with a drink and do some networking. Or avoid people and enjoy the quiet exhibition. Quite a neat experience.
Learning something new every day and getting in some laughs every day are both key to maintaining a happy, healthy life. So by following a few Today Years Old accounts, you can have all of your bases covered. On X, you’ll learn why the highways in the United States are numbered the way that they are, and on TikTok, you’ll learn that San Francisco residents have been taping notes in the windows of their cars urging people to stop breaking into them. Meanwhile, on Instagram, you’ll find hilarious screenshots of silly conversations that have taken place online.
Fun Fact: To distract and confuse his rivals during negotiations, Winston Churchill intentionally let his cigars burn to long lengths of ash, but he purposely didn't tap them off. His rivals would frequently become so engrossed in watching the ash and if or when Winston would tap them, that by their distraction, he was able to steer the negotiations to more favorable agreements for the UK.
Way to shovel BS back in their faces, preemptively. You will do well in the corporate world where BS reigns supreme, and in the greater milieu of the public/private revolving door sector.
That is technically true. New at the job of being a character on that show!
Load More Replies...Worst if you're replacing the really nice guy that got unfairly fired
Ahh, fresh meat. Let us consume them before they can gain power and challenge our nativistic advantage.
New on the job is an adventure, new people, new opportunities and new ways to get fired.
as long as you aren't the character in the red shirt with no last name
I just tried the same thing and I am writing this from the Emergency Room.
yeah man… sorry you weren’t a little kid. probably would just have gotten a talking to.. 😂
Load More Replies...Girl boss builds horrible business model resulting in no return customers. Business collapses.
This is probably reads as mean to the little girl. I'm trying to be mean to the whole girl boss/entrepreneur/hustle culture which is perpetuating the exploitation of workers and bringing about the collapse of society as we know it.
Load More Replies...Keep this child away from MLMs. Otherwise she's going to be a monster who ruins lives.
My brother-in-law did that when he was a kid! He's an adult now and belongs in prison. He'd be happy to help you with your company's cell phone contract though.
Sadly the child is being taught immorality and people who did not ask for their change were upholding it.
not assertive, just rude. (insert better parenting skills here) teach her to realize that people are being kind to HER by buying from her, and may need their change for other purchases....
According to Everyday Health, you can’t be stressed and laugh at the same time, so if you find yourself holding onto some tension, don’t hesitate to find something funny to help you relax. “Just a moment of laughter can allow us to think more clearly and creatively and strengthen a sense of connection with others,” clinical psychologist Natalie Christine Dattilo, PhD told Everyday Health. Squeeze in a few moments to scroll through funny memes or exchange silly stories with your loved ones, and you’ll be sure to have a brighter day than you would have otherwise.
We are mammals! Surrounded by food we are designed to eat as much of as we can(high fat/sugar), as it should have been as rare as hens teeth to come across. We are meant to lounge about and whatnot. No wonder so many of us suffer mental health issues, especially anxiety and depression. Our societal advancements don't mesh well with our still existing basic instincts (inside artificial structures, artifical light affecting circadian rhythm etc)
Nailed. It. When I became unemployed I took to spending a big chunk of the day just sleeping, and doing a few things at my leisure when I felt sufficiently awake, and it just felt *right*. Getting up early and commuting to the office never feels natural, and not just because I've never been an early riser. And then I feel guilty and embarrassed by my nonstop yawning. No wonder everybody's addicted to coffee (though not me because I'm allergic).
Load More Replies...Could be worse. It used to be working 7 days and resting 0. Still is if you're a farmer or own your own small business like a convenient store or restaurant. Could be even worse than that - we could be regular animals and spend every day trying to find food and to not die. We have it pretty good I'd say.
We are meant to walk for hours a day, not lounge. That’s why we’re all so miserable, sitting behind all our screens that mimic a moving environment
Yes! our bodies are designed for constant movement. Outside in the elements!
Load More Replies...no offense to anyone reading this but, vegans... human teeth and bodies are designed to eat and have, meat and plants not just one or the other
Time, in general, is a weird concept. Time controls everything in our lives but the way we measure it is completely arbitrary.... Why are there 7 days a week, even?
Just smile and nod. Then pick up your phone, pretend to phone a number and say "subject is aware, activate omega protocol", hang up and move to a different carriage.
I miss having an extrovert friend asking for extra ketchup for me. Oddly enough, I have no issue asking if it's for anyone else but me.
just pull an Anger Management a throw the plate against the wall . Then sing I feel pretty
Loud fiery woman make me burn inside and I avoid instantly. Some people just have to instigate drama I guess.
Who thinks a loud, fiery man and a loud, fiery woman would even survive 3 dates?
We hope you’ve been able to get a kick out of some of these memes, pandas! Keep upvoting the screenshots and pics you find particularly hilarious, and let us know in the comments which ones are the most relatable to you. Then, if you’re interested in checking out Bored Panda’s previous publications featuring Today Years Old, you can find them right here and here!
I have a friend like this. We take it in turns to buy meals out, cinema tickets and so on. If he buys the tickets, I pay for popcorn to share. It's my friend's birthday tommorrow(Monday) and we are celebrating the Tuesday. As is traditional, I will pay for his pizza. The birthday person never pays for their own meal and next summer he'll pay for mine. It works well. In my former group, we had to divide the bill up if everyone's totals came to roughly the same but a lot of the time, I had less money than the others, so in the end we just started paying for our own.
Load More Replies...Is this not normal? We do this in my country. When you pay for something, we would say to the person "me invitas a la próxima" (next time, you pay) and we also use it as a way to have a reason to meet again.
If I pay for our drinks, it means my friends are broke äss mofos right now, while I'm flush. If the situation is reversed, I know my friends would have my broke äss covered. That's what being a friend is. That, and helping dispose of bodies when necessary.
Beer karma. The faith that, over the whole course of a friendship, the cost of drinks will average out.
For my friend group of introverts, it's whoever's the most broke talks to the store clerk/cafe barista/etc and they don't have to pay
Even tho I know it's her dress, it's funny to think the fairy godmother threw in a butt lift too
That she did, that she did, three cheers for the fairy god-mother.
Load More Replies...He forgot her face but remembered her feet. Prince Charming had a foot fetish.
Bustles used to be a thing. It wasn’t even about making your rear look bigger, but your waistlook smaller.
Yes, when they invented “booty” to mean Cinderella, a new phase of humanity began. “The Age of Butts”. wow! What an a**!
I got ok at this. But only mastered it once or twice (all rings on hooks). How did you guys do?
I used to leave it upside down and hope for the best
Load More Replies...If you’re old enough to remember this, you need to take your cholesterol medicine and get to bed soon..
Excuse me you young whippersnapper, my cholesterol is just fine zzzzzzz😴
Load More Replies...Yep. I was a little older when it either it came out or when I came across it and played only a few times.
My boyfriend was once kinda complaining about how complicated my family situation is. And he's right, I don't blame him but he was framing it as if that's so strange and I then had to point out to him that looking around our closest friends and their families - he's actually the weird one for having mostly good relationship with his parents who actually listen to feedback etc.
Just because you are surrounded by disfunctionality does not make it "normal". Don't tell him his situation is weird. It's not.
Load More Replies...Okay I super love this! My hubby's parents have passed but I got to know his mom before she died and she would have been that type of mother in law that would have loved to hang out with me. I hope when my kids find their people they feel this way about us. I totally want to be a big huge family!!!!!
I love my sister in law (married to my bro) and make sure she feels included when there's a family gathering. I also adore her parents and sisters too. I call them my in law-in laws.
It often is, but unfortunately there are times when it isn't. I've been fortunate.
Load More Replies...Actually had that.... he had an amazing family. We did all that ...unfortunately, He thought he should have a side piece. So I miss his family. But I had to divorce him.
That doesn't necessarily mean you can't continue a relationship with his family. After my parents split up my mother's brothers spent more time with my father than they did with her.
Load More Replies...I did this! I told my husband that if it wouldn't be incredibly weird, I would ask his parents to adopt me. His family is amazing... mine... not so much.
Usually. People use the terms synonymously, but they actually aren't. A cook out is a more casual affair as far as the cooking. A BBQ would involve smoking meat for hours. This is also regional. In the American South, people are more likely to differentiate the two because we take BBQ very seriously and there are many regional variations. Maybe because it's too hot to cook large pieces of meat indoors? Also smoking and spices act as a preservative.
Load More Replies...The 1950s were just as dysfuntional. They were better at hiding it.
Load More Replies...I use a body pillow as my head pillow so when i roll over, i don't have to reposition the darn thing
Load More Replies...Wedged in with three pillows in various places so my body can relax and I can forget for a few hours. Then turn. Rinse and repeat.
“So I can forget for a few hours.” Sounds ominous, forget what? The pains of reality? Because I feel that
Load More Replies...Meanwhile I move to the couch so I can perform my own maneuvers in peace
Combo and a times stretched out or curled into as small a circle as possible.
Comfort food has been replaced by comfort tequila.
Load More Replies...So me and my husband only get around to doing it like once a month but it's usually better than any sex we ever had and I'd rather have one amazing O a month than 2-3 mediocre just lie there sessions a week
Is it just my wife and I, or do ya'll schedule a date and time? Sometimes even though we schedule, we have to cancel to convince our child we we're just "wrestling"...
Load More Replies...I can’t tell if you’re very innocent or if you’re just adding to the joke
Load More Replies...I am more shocked than anything that the older I get the less I care about it. I find comfort in that, mostly because chasing the V made me do a lot of dumb sh*t.
What's a quarter? Like once a week? Once/twice a week is good.
Load More Replies...If we women can't have abortions, then you men can't have sex. Simple.
My doctor has never asked me that. I kinda wish he would.
I sort of wish I said yes when I was asked that last time I was at the doctor, but I said no because I was afraid they would tell my parents
Load More Replies...A doctor asked me if I ever thought of killing myself. I thought everyone did.
I feel like that's a appropriate answer. We all have bouts where we are depressed or have anxiety. But if it's a constant thing, it needs treatment. Then that goes to something a little bit more complicated, but that's not an inappropriate answer.
My doctor asks if I ever think of harming myself or others. There's no way I'll ever answer that honestly.
And you replied "Thinking about how much your charging, our mental health makes sense, doesn't it"
I know it’s not your fault, but if you don’t wake up every day wondering why on Earth you should even get out of bed, I kind of hate you.
My Doctor asked, My answer, Sure don't all folks who reach eighty have a little?
Noise at night. The bloody crickets won’t shut up and there’s construction going on in the neighbouring plot at 11 fricking pm!
Yeah, what was that noise at 4am?! It was a 'tink' every four seconds.
Load More Replies...Some jackass just moved in a couple houses down from me and every morning at 6am he revs his crappy Civic with modified exhaust a dozen times, then almost redlines as he cruises down the street. We can hear him coming blocks away and he wakes up my kid almost daily. So friggin irritating.
Load More Replies...EVerything, everything is becoming annoying. You ever see that south park episode?
any human-made noise.crying babies,yelling children,loud parties,quarrels,construction,honking ..drive me mad. dogs barking and cat fights, fox howls, bird chirping even the crow sounds dont bother me.
I consider incessantly barking dogs to be a human-caused noise. Humans who are ignoring the needs of their dogs.
Load More Replies...Just noise in general, is always been awefull. It feels like there's nails being hammered into my skull
Yeah this "you need to WORK on this relationship" is b******t. I mean, yes, make an effort, make sure to not exclude the other person but come on ... it's not WORK.
Loving each other is fun, but if you don't know how to communicate and compromise, then you're screwed. And those things will take work.
Load More Replies...No it's not. Some parts are fun, but when you build a life together, you have to do a lot of compromising and communicating and supporting. It isn't "fun" but it should make you feel secure and help you be a better person. If you want fun, go to a carnival.
As I tell my spouse when he asks if I love him, I love him most of the time - it's more good times than bad but neither of us are perfect
Load More Replies...If you put a little bit of work into picking the person you want to live with, living with them isn't work.
You can call it whatever you want, but I guarantee it takes effort/work to navigate through every situation you go through if you’re together for the long haul. Speaking with 38 years so far, no matter how much you love each other, you will be challenged and you work through it. That is not negative, it is incredibly rewarding and worth it.
Same both ways. I can tell if my partner is miff by her breating pattern.
Yep. I can read my wife's emotions real well, and vice versa. Comes with time.
Load More Replies...this isn't just women. Observant partners notice when things are off.
Why on earth would I by my mothers eye? Its gross to have in your fridge, and Im sure she still needs it 😂
I have no vision in my left eye, it's irrepairable..... Eye do fine with 50% of the things eye do. The rest eye adapt to. On "talk like a pirate day - September 19 - Eye put on an eye patch and say Aarrrgh all day - have fun, all is good !
Daaaaamn, I just learned there's a "talk like a pirate day"! Gotta set a reminder for next year!
Load More Replies...Luckily my mother was born with a left eye already, as it were, in situ.
Pay for it, I’d just buy her something with the money anyway, here’s a ready-set opportunity! Now if it was my stepmom.. nah just kidding I’m not that evil
She still has her right eye tho? I've never understood this question
That's why they sometimes find extinct animals. "Hey, hasn't this [random animal] been extinct since 1756 when we ate the last specimen?"
Let's just make a squad of moms and tell them you looked everywhere, but you can't find any
It may sounds really funny, but this is actually a thing. Biologists sometimes discover animals that they thought had been extinct for decades. Recently there was a cool case where they set up cameras somewhere deep in nature to research something, and while looking back at the footage they saw a completely unrelated "extinct" animal species just frollicking around in front of the camera, lol.
Yes. When I try to track down when an animal became extinct, it's usually impossible to pin it down to a specific year. I can choose either the year of last confirmed observation, the year of last tentative observation, or the year when an exhaustive search failed to find any. Usually there's about a 20 year gap between the last confirmed observation and the year when a thorough search fails to find any.
Load More Replies...finding extinct animals usually means going into habitats that don't have many/any humans. And the animals tend to be small and elusive. Let's face it. You aren't going to find any giant sloths hiding out in North America undiscovered. And that Sabre Tooth is definitely not on some mountain top in an obscure location, he was a savannah hunter when the US had miles of grasslands instead of miles of crops.
I keep reading bout thylacine sightings, hoping they're true. But they're probably not..
That is my dream, that thylacines are found in my lifetime
Load More Replies...If they find any extinct species, the rich folks will probably have an exotic meat dinner that day
They find extinct animal every now and again in Australia and some local will say "Oh yer we see them all the time". Nobody listens to them because what do they know, they aren't official sightings made by official people.
It's like when you always put your keys in the bowl on the table by the door. When one day they aren't there, you assume they are gone forever.
I wish I had cousins I was close to. All the ones on my dad's side were at least 2hrs away and I have none on my mum's side (though I think my uncle would have loved to).
All of the ones on my dad's side were like 56 hours away, all the way across the country (USA). There were a couple in my mom's side. My uncle and his kids lived 8 hours away, but my Aunts kids lived in the same town. But .. they were 16 and 17 years younger than me. I still ended up closest to them, and have continued to be close.
Load More Replies...Such fond memories. I wish we still had floor sleepovers now as adults, it would be so funny.
Thanksgiving night when I was a kid. Three boys scattered across the living room floor. My parents up in my grandma's room, grandma on the daybed. We had to be quiet.
Yep. My grandma was offended when I became old enough and chose to get a hotel room.
Reminds me of last month when my dad, stepmum and 2 of my sisters all ended up in hospital at the same time. I ended up saying at my parents house and looking after 7 autistic kids (including 5 under 5!) for 4 days. I had the 2 eldest sleep in my parent's bed, my 5yr old nephew slept in his own bed (he lives with my parents) and my 5yr old neice slept on a fold out mattress on his bedroom floor. The youngest 3 all slept on the sofas, while I slept on the floor next to them. It was incredibly stressful and chaotic as they're all autistic and have vastly different needs, food issues (& allergies) sensory issues and none of them cope well with changes to their routine. By the end of those 4 days, I'd only slept for about 4hrs total and was exhausted but the kids had a great time and loved spending time together despite everything. Luckily the adults were all fine after a few days because I don't think I could've coped much longer.
If they can't understand this, then it's probably best to just get rid of them as friends. No need for extra, unnecessary stress in your life
i'm in college level classes in high school dawg i can not go to the mall on a thursday night 😭😭
Load More Replies...No, people will make time for what's important, and make excuses for things they don't think are important. If they've not got time for you, move on
If you turn up at midnight and ask to borrow a shovel, you find out who your friends are. Normal people look horrified and call the police after you leave. Friends ask what the plan is so they can help you catch errors
Best friends grab their own shovel and ask "How deep we need to dig?"
Load More Replies...UGH - I've had to explain to more than one person that MY cell phone is for MY convenience. No, I will not answer it in the restroom at a restaurant, not in line at the grocery store, or while sitting in my Doctor's waiting room, etc. If I don't answer or get back to you immediately it's because I'M BUSY.
Yes! I have friends who bang on about "the cult of busy" being a load of shite. Ah no. If I don't do it, it doesn't get done and then I get more stressed as everything piles into even more shite
I went to the doctor voluntarily once. That was a rich person action. I couldn't pay, but they would "send me the bills". 😒
Getting seriously sick.(edit: even in my country, with WONDERFUL healthcare, getting proper sick is expensive.)
K but I did this for a long time and then when I finally checked my balance it turned out someone had been slowly stealing money for a year 😵 Keep watch of your accounts!
i give TOO honest feedback like i just imediatly say what im thinking even if its rude af lmaooo
Load More Replies...Friends (?) who never assert, compliment or reassure you. Whose default setting is a steady trickle of negativity. Who hold everyone to a differend standard than themselves.
Exactly, my ex just cussed me out because I politely let him know I was not getting back with him because he treated me like c**p and I didn't feel comfortable getting back with him, and my friend just keeps going on saying I was in the wrong and how could I leave a hot guy like that and all this other c**p even tho I was bawling my eyes out from anxiety.
Load More Replies...Those aren’t friends. Those are people you hang out with until you dump them for actual friends.
Or those who refuse to consider their part in contributing to conflict
Friends that don’t invite you to anything. After claiming that you’re very good friends. And you invited them to all of your shıt. Yes, I’m upset.
That's how one of my groups is. I used to compliment them the normal amount. Now I rarely do, even though I'm thinking it. Sometimes a compliment slips out when I'm not thinking about how they are, but I try not to
Load More Replies...When I'm not reading or editing images I prefer the world to be a bit blurry tbh. It's bad enough.
There’s this girl in my class who has pathetic vision yet she doesn’t wear her glasses and she treats them so poorly I wonder how they’re able to hold themselves together
I always tell people, “The world is so much prettier without my glasses”.
Go with her to pick out some new frames and tell her how good they look for a while every time you see her because they do look good - they can be like a piece of jewelry or an accessory, tell her that.
I lost my glasses for a week and didn't even care. My vision is 20/400
Oof… mine is 20/100 in my left eye. I’d cry if I lost my glasses because reading is my LIFE!
Load More Replies...In my early 20’s it was kinda like this. I had my work friends, my school friends and then my *friend* friends I grew up with. I only have a solid 2 now, lol
Load More Replies...Funny comment until he added the lmao to his own joke. That drives me absolutely crazy for some reason
Ugh. I have a few different little friend groups and they don’t really get along, it’s annoying
Are there really people who have so many friend groups that this is an option?
I have 3 separate distinct friend groups that really don't ever mix and people from 2 of them hate people on the other side. Also when I say friend groups I mean u have 1 or 2 food friends in each group and those people have bigger groups of friends. Theres also my gfs friends but my friends never meet them cause her friends met my friends they might just straight up tell her to find someone with better friends. 😅
Ummm, Shrek is awesome, that prince’s assholery has nothing to do with his height
This op fits that other theme with horrible people. Bodyshaming is not just for the obese but also short or gre3nish people.
she chose a good individual over and a*****e. But this was only because she was an ogre half the time so she learned to see beyond the appearance. It has nothing to do with farquaad being short, which this tweet frames it as the reason
Especially with the spelling and pronunciation of his name. Then again, Lord Fuckwad probably wouldn't be considered PG
Load More Replies...
