I have something to confess: If I had to suddenly ditch my entire writing career and start anew, becoming a teacher would be among the last options on my list. Nothing wrong with the job per se, it’s a noble profession, but I’ve never been a fan of tiny beings darting around at lightning speed while scheming mysterious plots. Unfortunately, besides bugs, kids also fit this description like a glove. I can barely keep my apartment tidy, let alone be in control of a room full of miniature humans. Not to mention when the kids are older — as a former teenager, I have to say we can be pretty terrible with adults.

But then, the Bored Panda team finds things like this Reddit thread, packed with humorous anecdotes told by teachers, and suddenly the idea doesn’t sound THAT bad. In fact, it may even be kind of… fun? Seriously, the sheer hilarity of the things that come out of kids’ mouths can be insane. Maybe it’s their lack of filter or their fresh perspective on the world, but either way, kids are comedy gold. And teachers are the lucky ones who get to witness it all firsthand.

We’re thrilled to share the best teacher stories with y’all, fellow Pandas. From kindergartners with their funny test answers to high schoolers who deliver the most epic comebacks, these teacher-student interactions had us in stitches. Despite how hard it can be to deal with them sometimes, these pint-sized humans have personalities, a sense of humor, and a wit that can rival any comedian.

So to all the teachers out there, thank you for the laughs. Thank you for sharing the funny things your kids said — and for reminding us that comedy can be found in the most unexpected places. Here is a collection of funny student answers as told by their teachers. Remember to upvote your favorite pieces of classroom humor to see them rank higher on the list!


Physical Education Teacher Taking Notes On The Students Shares stats

"Phys. Ed teacher here - I always wear shorts teaching. Parent-teacher conferences roll around, grade 1 student comes up to me with her parents - "Mr. Famous1187, I've never seen you wear pants before". I've never responded quicker to a comment before in my life to clear that up."

Famous1187 Report


Student Painting With Paint On A Piece Of Paper Shares stats

"I asked my students to draw a picture of a ninja chicken on an exam. One student drew nothing and pointed out that the chicken was such an effective ninja that he was invisible.


REricSimpson Report


Man Cleaning His Hands With Soap Shares stats

"I asked 'when is a time you have used integrity?'
He wrote down 'I wash my hands after going to the bathroom, even if no one is in there'."

adjer Report


Person Holding Peace Sight And A Vietnam Flag Behind His Arm Shares stats

"I teach English to Vietnamese kids. I asked what is the population of Vietnam? The kid quickly surveyed the room and said "More than 15" This guy is going places."

ValexDragon Report


Kid With A Hulk Mask On His Face Shares stats

"My first-grade class was learning the word powerful. Kids came up with examples of powerful things and people, like elephants and superman. Then one boy said, "babies are powerful because they can cry and get whatever they want"."

Hiciao Report


Girl Writing Numbers On The Board Shares stats

yadoya said:
"The assignment was "Write the following numbers in all letters"
The kid answered:
3: four.
15: sixteen.
And so on. I gave him full points."

PlzGodKillMe replied:
"He wrote the FOLLOWING number. It wasn't a joke, the kid just followed instructions."

yadoya , PlzGodKillMe Report

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shanecaraher avatar
Pedantic Panda
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Some kids may take instructions literally, this may be an example of this. Once told a kid he needed to pull his socks up...

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Woman Sleeping On The Table Besides A Wine Glass Shares stats

"In nutrition class at CC, the teacher asks "what's one of the first things you throw out of the window when you drink alcohol", this kid just mumbles: "standards"."

Mr_TubbZ Report


Many Skyscrapers In One Place Shares stats

"Name two ways to determine the height of a building using a barometer that is exactly one meter long:

1) Take the barometer to the top of the building, drop it, and time how long it takes to hit the ground.

2) Find the owner of the building and say: "Hey - I have this really awesome barometer I'll give you if you tell me how tall your building is"."

FourOneNiner Report

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phoenix_7 avatar
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I’m sorry but what is that little thing sticking out from the glass building? It ruined the sleek physique.

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Bird On Pig's Back While Pig Is Swimming On Water Shares stats

"(On a 3rd-grade Charlotte's Web quiz): Give 2 pieces of evidence that support this statement: "Charlotte was a good friend to Wilbur"

"She comforted him and she didn't let him become pork"."

OhFFSSeriously Report


Conductor In Front Of The Orchestra Shares stats

"In a class, that deals with electricity, I asked the students to name a good conductor.

Leonard Bernstein."

babaoryan Report


Baby Playing On Xylophone With Wooden Sticks Shares stats

"My music teacher was showing us how to use a xylophone and said "Only hit the black keys, not the white keys" and my friend instantly replied with "Miss that's racist"."

Cyanide_Revolver Report


Person Uses Pencil Sharpener To Sharpen A Pencil Shares stats

"Teacher, I need a pencil.

Where do the pencils live? (I have a bucket of sharpened pencils for them to use.)


EmilyamI Report


Person Writing Something In A Notepad Shares stats

Hyper_Fujisawa said:
"I've taught English in Korea and Japan, and while maybe not that funny one student who wanted to say something like "afterward" or "in the end," wrote, "the after was here". I stopped for a moment and just stared off into space after reading that."

ProceedWithLaunch replied:
"I tried so hard

And got so far

But the after was here

It doesn't really matter."

Hyper_Fujisawa Report


Lit Up Lightbulb Shares stats

"World history class for 5th graders. End of the Unit test on the Middle Ages.

The question: "Why are the Middle Ages, in Europe, often described as the Dark Ages?"

The answer: 'Because lightbulbs weren't invented yet.'"

Dr-Rev-Prof-Beckman Report


Woman Writing In To Notepad Shares stats

"I worked in a special needs class for a year and there was one kid with a textbook case of Asperger Syndrome. Very bright, very tough nut to crack.

I tried to tell him a corny joke once and he was not having it.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" "He likely had business over there or was compelled by force."

Well, ok.

Easily my favorite memory of that class."

scotthferris Report


Teacher Talking To Students In The Class Room Shares stats

"There was a buddy of mine in college, J, who was legendary for his witty responses in class.

We were training to be RAs and the residential life person asked, "What are some things that as an RA, you shouldn't do in your dorm room?" People were saying stuff like drinking, etc.
J raises his hand, gets called on, and says, "Practicing medicine without a license."

The trainer was like, "Uh, yeah, I guess that's true."

The same guy was in a film class. The teacher asks, "What technique defined the scene we just watched?"
J raises his hand, gets called on, and says, "Long, awkward silences."

Teacher: "Could you give an example?"

J: "...""

KesselZero Report

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refaelpelealupv avatar
Community Member
8 months ago (edited) DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

one loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong awkward silence comin up! any challengers?

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Woman Explains To Other People The Information Shares stats

"Teaching grade 5. Students were fooling around during group work so I said sarcastically, "Do I need to stand here and watch you do your work?" to which the student responded even more sarcastically, "Well you don't have to stand, you can grab the chair and sit"."

shaaannon08 Report


Big Halloween Balloon In The Middle Of The Park Shares stats

"Not a teacher, but something my brother answered for homework.

My brother was in year 1, and his homework was to draw a balloon "blown up". He drew a picture with lots of squiggly shapes spread out across the paper. He took it as the balloon blew up, like a bomb, so he drew the leftovers of an exploded balloon. His teacher loved it and gave him full marks!"

Madfield Report

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nikkienothing avatar
Nikkie Nothing
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Kids are so literal at times and it always leads to something funny.

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Computer Parts Shares stats

"In 7th grade on a test, the question said "Why do some people see some technology as positive, and others see the same technology as a problem?" and a kid simply put, "Because some people are Amish"."

stinkyrossignol Report


Teacher Teaching Students While Writing On Board Shares stats

"I teach English in Japan.
When teaching my students, I asked "What do we say when someone is being too loud?"
One smarta** says "Shut up forever!" (More like, 'for-EHbah').
I had never said this. No clue where he learned it either. I nearly lost my s**t, but he wasn't wrong.
The correct answer is "Be quiet, please," which I told him was more polite. He just grinned as if he knew, but didn't care. Smart kid. I'll miss him when I change jobs."

diligence_is_key Report


School Bell On A Wall Shares stats

KontraKode said:
"Why are you late?"

"The bell went off before I got here."

CaptainFourpack replied:
"Why are you late?"

"I had trouble with my bike."

"what was the trouble?"

"I didn't get on it early enough."

KontraKode Report

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Woman Writing Answers On The Test Sheet Shares stats

BroccoliHotdish said: "Me: "The quiz tomorrow will be on..." Student: "Paper!" Everyone laughed and I rephrased the question." user no 2 replied: "Well, it's better than stone tablets, eucalyptus leaves, and blood ink."

BroccoliHotdish Report


Man Tries To Stop A Taxi Car In The Street Shares stats

"ESL teacher. I had my students do an activity where they had to give directions based on a map and situations I had chosen. The final question was more complex, and one of my students wrote, "Way too difficult, take a cab" Report


Lying Moose On Ground In The Middle Of The Forrest Shares stats

DontYouTrustMe said:
"I asked a kid "why does the mother moose eat the placenta?" And the student replied " to gain its powers"."

Girlinhat replied:
"The placenta is the powerhouse of the moose."

DontYouTrustMe Report


Bartender Giving Beer To The Client Shares stats

aughtomaton said:
"The preschool teacher here. For Father's day we did a cute little journal thing where we asked the kids their favorite things to do with dad along with some other stuff. One question was "what does dad like to do?". Most answers were average but one little girl told me her dad "loves to drink beer and smoke cigarettes all day"."

1LostInSpaceAgain replied:
"My son wrote "sleep" as my favorite activity for a giant poster he had to make about me. That poster spent several months on the wall in the kindergarten hallway."

aughtomaton Report

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jessicaehle avatar
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What if the students don’t have a dad? Those aren’t always the best activities to do in a class.

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Two People Eating Ice Cream On A Stick Shares stats

"I was doing my student teaching, and there was a boy that got his recess taken away I was the one supposed to be punishing him. His problem was that he talked and talked and talked. So I ask him "what could we do to help you focus better?" He thinks for a solid minute and replies "ice cream" couldn't help but laugh."

maroonmallard Report


Cars Driving In The Streets While Sun Is Setting Shares stats

"Not a teacher but someone told me this.

'What side of the road do people in France drive on?'

'miss, they drive on both sides.'"

Batman_00 Report


Teacher Writing Things On The Board With A Marker Shares stats

"Not the teacher but witnessed this in class:

Sociology Prof: "Why do you conform?"

Student: "It has always been my goal in life to blend in."

Soc Prof: "No more questions for you"."

NinjaDucky9 Report

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Person Marking Certain Dates On Calendar Shares stats

"As an EA, I gave a group of second graders a worksheet about the main idea and detail. In the instructions, they were told to circle the main idea and underline the details. One child returned the paper to me very promptly, having underlined the phrase "the main idea" and having circled "the details" in the instructions. She knew exactly what she was doing when she turned it in... she's a clever one. She did just fine when I asked her to complete the assignment as expected."

electrifyyourlife Report


Soldiers Walking To The Military Plane Shares stats

"Not a teacher but a witness. In high school history class, the teacher asked "What was the peace treaty that ended World War 2?" This was a trick question because there wasn't a single treaty that ended the war. This one kid blurted out "The Manhattan Project." The teacher laughed so hard he went and got the other history teacher and had the kid tell him the answer too." 

Fudgeyreddit Report


Teacher Explaining A Lesson To Students Shares stats

"Elementary school kids saw the answer key. He swore he came up with, "Answers may vary," all on his own."

Nettius2 Report


Pair Of Jeans Hanging On Hanger Shares stats

"We were talking about the Fukushima nuclear plant being hit by the tsunami. The (brilliant) young lad that was most engaged wanted to exclaim his understanding of the situation, but his slip of the tongue led to: "Nuclear pants are dangerous." We all agreed. And wrote the quote up on the board as a keeper for the rest of the school year.

Shout out to "Hotwheels." That was not his only board-worthy quote."

SaltyShawarma Report


Cat And Dog Laying Outside In Piece Shares stats

"Not a teacher, but I remember I had to take some kind of verbal test when I was about five. The proctor asked what is the relationship between cats and dogs? Little science loving five year old me said, "they are part of the same food chain." I am pretty sure I got credit for that question."

Skylion007 Report


Woman Painting Canvas In Park Shares stats

"When I was in high school my art teacher teaching her first semester started an abstract art assignment but did not supply any sort of grading rubric when I asked. I scribbled randomly on the page and when she asked about it I simply said it was too abstract to be easily explained. I got 100%. I also got away with adding a few dots to the background of a drawing of a falcon in a bowl of punch and saying he was in space when she told me that I was missing a background. We got away with lots in that class. Apparently, she was super strict every year after that haha." 

Rudera1is Report


Girl Sitting In Front Of The TV Shares stats

Egrizzzzz said: "I've got a story from my fiancee's childhood. They were testing her intelligence or awareness and showed her an image of a tv in a room. The tv was turned on, showing a cartoon, and had a plant on top of it. Q: What's on the Television? A: A plant. Apparently, she just kept insisting in utter frustration until the administrator bothered to look at the image and not the answer sheet."

Egrizzzzz Report

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kw_5 avatar
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

This kind of stuff still gets me sometimes and I'm in my 40's. I have ASD though so ill defined questions or directions drive me nuts.

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Student Learning Anatomy On A Tablet Shares stats

"When I used to teach anatomy:

"Anthony, name this bone."

'Uhh, femur.'

"Is it a left femur or a right femur?"


jdhall010 Report


Dark Alley At Night With Couple Of LED Signs Shares stats

"I teach forensic science.

We were going to be using iodine to fume fingerprints. Iodine vapor is no joke, so I terrify the students and use only two volunteers with goggles and respirators at the chemical hood. But, we still all go over the MSDS, PPE, and equipment.

I spent maybe five minutes talking about everything and the chemical hood to my class of thirty. Toward the end,

"So. Someone tells me: what is a hood?"

A hand shoots up.

"Yes, [student]."

"It's, like, the place where you grow up."

I facepalm, the class laughs, and I'm unable to pivot his answer at the moment. (He's on the autism spectrum and wasn't trying to be funny)."

Jabbawookiee Report


Teacher High Fiving The Students Shares stats

"Not a teacher but just a witness to this hilarity. In science class in high school, our teacher was talking about electricity and lightning and the effects of being electrocuted. He asked if anyone happened to know what is the first sense you lose when struck by lightning. Without missing a beat, a girl put her hand up and answered in all honesty, "your sense of humor?" The class had to stop for a few minutes until everyone could regain their composure." Report

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World Globe Shares stats

BigScaryLizard said:
"Not a teacher but a friend of mine couldn't remember what country wasn't a part of the UK on a test so she put Mexico."

Cheatcodek replied:
"Oh, yea I forgot about that! I remember when the great Mexican nation joined the UK in 1500 under the great reign of Suleiman I."

BigScaryLizard Report


Valentine's Day Card And Red Envelopes Shares stats

"I asked a 3-year-old what "love" was for a Valentine's Day card to his parents. His response: "Maybe love is what tornadoes need."

We call him "the professor" because he teaches us new things every day."

FeelThe_Byrne Report

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fredneobob90 avatar
Huddo's sister
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Am I the only one who thinks Valentines Day becoming about loving your parent etc too is weird. I mean, I don't like the original concept either but still.

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Man Hysterically Laughing Shares stats

Raaava said:
"Not a teacher but one time a teacher asked "What is a seven-letter word, that starts with an A and means to stand out and unusual," someone said "Awesome" and the teacher laughed and wasn't sure if he should accept that answer."

rionhunter replied:
"Did the teacher need help with their crossword?"

Raaava Report


Kids Playing Basketball Outside In The Playground Shares stats

"I teach and coach baseball. After our short stop got thrown out on second for the third out, I told someone to "pick up Will", in baseball terms meaning get his glove and hat so he can go out to the field. This kid who was new to baseball, a big lineman-type football player, claps his hands and goes "it's okay Will, you'll get them next time." I cried laughing. Will was the name of the shortstop. The kid who "picked him up" was genuinely being nice and thoughtful, but coming from this big intimidating kid it was really funny."

EarthNoMore Report


Person Drawing On A Piece Of Paper Shares stats

"Ok so this story totally doesn't translate to English, but I will give it a shot anyway:

In German, there is this little drawing game called "das haus vom nikolaus" consisting of drawing a house without lifting the pen or drawing the same line twice. Well, the act of drawing something without lifting your pen is called "in einem zug zeichnen" which literally translates to "drawing in a train".

So yes, one kid actually drew a house. In a train."

effinzebras Report

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fredneobob90 avatar
Huddo's sister
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

We loved drawing that house without lifting the pen when I was a kid, but there was never a name for it in English that I knew of, but there really should be because even trying to explain it now seems too complicated.

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Teacher Explaining Things To Students Shares stats

"Extra credit problem on a test that was very difficult. Like crazy difficult. It involved many steps and probably had to do with finding out the rate of oxygen consumption of reptiles. I hadn't made the answer key yet.

Very few students tried ANY of the extra credit problems and one answered all of them but for that last one they just put "I don't want to do this problem"

Neither did I. Gave them the point."

101311092015 Report


Doctors Taking A Look At Patients MRI Scan Picture Shares stats

"Not a teacher but I work with kids.
Trying to delicately explain to a 3-year-old why she should be kind to her mommy.
"You shouldn't say those mean things to mommy when she's sick. Who looks after you when you are sick, and makes you feel better?"
The doctor: "....... well f**k"."

ReaderLearner Report

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missal_warrior_0c avatar
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

“Who will look after you when you’re sick and don’t have a few thousand dollars to shell out”

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Two Goats Going At Each Other Shares stats

"Let's see... One day, my opening question was, "If you could be any animal for a day, what animal would you be?"

One kid said, "Humans are animals."

Another kid said, "Technically, the devil's not an animal... so I'd be a faun"."

TinuvieltheWolf Report

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rio007163 avatar
Sad Quokka
Community Member
8 months ago DotsCreated by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

An animal for a day.... Hmm, that's difficult to decide between a unicorn and Elon Musk

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People Sitting At The Back Of The Bus Shares stats

ReddishWedding2018 said:
"Same kid on the same quiz:

Q. Describe the bus ride at the beginning of the chapter.

A. It was a bus ride filled with action, but also with emotion.

Q. What happens at the end of the story?

A. The story ends.

Kid's going to be a politician someday."

Reddit user replied:
"I am telling you this bus ride was the best bus ride I've ever had! Listen to me! Listen! People come to me and say 'Have you ever had any bus ride like this?' and I honestly say to them 'No, that is the most incredible bus ride ever!' Just amazing."

ReddishWedding2018 Report

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Random Numbers Scattered On The Table Shares stats

"Subtraction problem in elementary school. The question asked, "what is the difference between these two numbers?" And then gave 2 5- digit numbers.

A student wrote, "they're different numbers. This three is different and that five"."

seasonalcrazy Report


News Paper's Page Shares stats