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Humor is the best anecdote for life's troubles, especially in a long term relationship. Couples will fight, that is a given, whether it is over household chores or visits from in-laws, but laughter and good-natured stupid jokes remain the best way to get through all of this without losing your cool.

The following list is a collection of conversations and moments from hilarious significant others who keep their partners laughing throughout everyday problems with their wit and antics. From hilarious jokes in text messages to weird quirks, these couples know how to appreciate the silliness of their significant other. Scroll down below to check out some hilariously funny jokes and don't forget to upvote your favs!

#1

Friend Sends Me Pic Of His New Truck, My Girlfriend Wanted To Know Why It Had A Little Waffle House In The Back

Friend Sends Me Pic Of His New Truck, My Girlfriend Wanted To Know Why It Had A Little Waffle House In The Back

Derrydeez Report

troufaki13
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Waffles on the go! woohoooo!!

meAgan
Community Member
6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm jealous I want portable waffles too

Max L.
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

One has to travel comfortably.

Billy Beecham
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

I'm shocked she wasn't worried about why the roof of the gas station was attached to the top. And tell the truth guys, if you could you would certainly toss a little wafflehouse in back.

Hafida
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

That was the first thing came up my mind! haha

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Eric Soliday
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Lol I think she was just trying to be funny sounds like a catch

Jo Choto
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

It's all about... perspective. LOL.

Pam
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

Your girlfriend is my spirit animal

Huey89
Community Member
6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

What you mean yours doesn't? Amateur

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But doing something terribly stupid doesn't make the person themselves stupid. Bright folks constantly forget to put on their seatbelt, cross the street without looking both ways, or hit reply-all when they really meant to reply to one person. Why? According to Heather Butler, an assistant professor of psychology at California State University, it's because smart people aren't all that smart. In an article for Scientific American, Butler talks about the subject of why smart people behave foolishly by differentiating between intelligence and critical-thinking skills. She suggests that intelligence, which is often measured by IQ test scores, is largely unrelated to critical thinking, "a collection of cognitive skills that allow us to think rationally in a goal-oriented fashion and a disposition to use those skills when appropriate."

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    #2

    This Review

    This Review

    Report

    Vic
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, the kitty has been boobie trapped..

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    Jo Choto
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't think I would have figured it out either, and I have boobs.

    Arno Nüüm
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't blame him. It definitely doesn't qualify as clothing either.

    Ameara
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's because it's not clothing, it's an accessory.

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    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your lucky you didn't come home and find him and his buddy launching water balloons with it.

    Jaye Rodger
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Silly husband. It's for puppies, not kittens

    TexasPK
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am laughing much too hard. That poor cat.

    E A M
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What a good cat! If I tried that on mine, there would be bloodstains...

    ADHORTATOR
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Made me laugh so hard... what an innocent mind

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    Butler isn't the only one who believes this. University of Waterloo psychologist, Igor Grossmann, and his colleagues also argue that most intelligence tests fail to represent our real-world decision-making and ability to interact with others.

    #3

    My Girlfriend Moved Into Her Dorm Yesterday And Was Having Trouble Setting Up The Apple TV I Bought Her...

    My Girlfriend Moved Into Her Dorm Yesterday And Was Having Trouble Setting Up The Apple TV I Bought Her...

    And she's in college for brain and behavioral neuroscience 

    J-Mart11 Report

    Bored Phoenix
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That last part was the icing on the cake!

    Susann Campbell
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is what I always say to my husband when I screw up, "you love me right?"

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    N G
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you've paid silly money for an apple TV I'd want it be powered down the hdmi cable too.

    Minnie-me
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    her last question was priceless

    Kelly McMahon
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least she realized she was an idiot...way worse when they don’t know!

    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say she needs it and it was a mandatory choice then. Don't feel bad, my wife married an idiot.

    Celtic Pirate Queen
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband was a service tech for restaurant equipment. A customer had him fly to Wyoming (from Seattle) to repair their grill. The service call alone was $2400, plus airfare, meals & accommodations. Before flying out he asked if the customer had made sure it was plugged in. The customer got really pissed and was extremely rude. Sure enough, first thing he did when he got there was to plug it in. It worked just fine. Hubs didn't say a word, just turned around and walked out. When all was said & done it cost close to $4000 for the idiot who was too proud to double check.

    SAF saf
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's like 4 ports on the back of these things there shape makes it impossible to confuse. I wouldn't describe her as an idiot she was just to quick to ask for help. She likely could have figured it out if she spent any amount of time on it.

    A J
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yep. Me right there. Had almost exactly the same situation while setting up the new TV my boyfriend got me...and I have a PhD

    sharron lynn parsons
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Some very intelligent people, seem to lack common sense !!!

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    Another reason behind this issue could be arrogance. Smart people tend to think they are smarter (and better) than everyone. Professor Andre Spicer refers to this as the self-serving bias: "Not everyone can be above average — but we can all have the illusion that we are... We collect all the information we can find to prove ourselves right and ignore any information that proves us wrong. We feel good, but we overlook crucial facts. As a result, the smartest people ignore the intelligence of others so they make themselves feel smarter." Because of this, people might rationalize their mistakes to themselves, elevating their abilities and luck, and believe that they're somehow protected from misfortunes.

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    #4

    Seems Legit

    Seems Legit

    Sufferintruth Report

    Luis Milian
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    was this shared on a public post? 221 reactions! LOL

    未周 陸
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    6 days to ONLY generate 221 reactions?! THIS “Post” deserves Better than 221 reactions! LOL

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    Kaisu
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, I would've made the same mistake too if I had been standing on that exact spot

    Dynein
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I spent a good amount of time trying to figure out why this would be idiotic... until I realized that the lamp post might be relevant. This one really depends on ever having heard of the chain (which I didn't until now).

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    Άρης Παπαδόπουλος
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you don't know the chain, the lightning pole can troll you

    danielw
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it's not the pole's fault. There's a real troll hiding in the lamp housing.

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    Amy Pattie
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is your wife foreign? I would assume it was Louie’s also!

    Anamaria Mazer de Toledo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The same to me !!! I was wondering what was wrong with the guy lol

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    Sally Hudd
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well to be fair that is what it looks like.

    Tigger O
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Presumably this is in the USA? Looks like Louie's to this British person. Will someone please inform us what it DOES say.

    DancingToMyself
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Just read the comments, as I did. And yes, it's USA. :)

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    #5

    Not Sure The Wife Understands What Freezer Bags Are For

    Not Sure The Wife Understands What Freezer Bags Are For

    ievenreddittedthis Report

    Max L.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe you're dating my mother and you know nothing about me.

    Magpie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is actually a great place to keep them. As in not lost in the drawers.

    Kusotare
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's a lot of ice cubes!

    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I too was wondering why there is so many ice cube trays. I figured one would be enough but no they need 70 cubes a time

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    Angela Turrall
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is the dating an idiot thread, not the I’m married to a genius one.

    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well it comes in handy when you put meat in the fridge, cause then you don't have to look for the freezer bags. Very efficiënt.

    Jo Jo Timmons
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think she has ingeniously started a new trend!

    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What? You don't keep your freezer bags in the freezer? It makes finding them a breeze. Especially when you're putting away the groceries. They're at hand when you need them!

    Susan Gardner
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So she remembers where they are? Lol

    Sue Prewitt
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She'll know where they are when she needs one

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    #6

    The Wife Said There Was So Much Sodium, They Just Put OMG

    The Wife Said There Was So Much Sodium, They Just Put OMG

    Reiem69 Report

    kurisutofu
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To her defence, sure probably thought that if it's listed, there would be some and so 0 mg would not make sense. I find it stupid to list ingredients that are not in the product ...

    Talia Johnson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This isn't listing ingredients, it's reporting on a required list of nutritional facts that should be available for all foods.

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    Yvonne Blau
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's actually funny... if she didn't mean it

    Id row
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When I was a kid and tried baking for the first time, we were just learning fractions in school. I saw 1 1/4 cup as eleven over 4 and did the conversion. I ended up putting almost 3 cups of sugar in, lol.

    elfin
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or she was making a joke and you missed it.

    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There are also 0mg elephant testicles in this. Why didn't they mention that?

    JoAnn Klonowski
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    hmmm she must have inhaled the nitrous oxide

    Bent. O. Jensen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "0" (zero) and "mg" are 2 words and there should have been space between "0" and "mg"

    Christina Eneroth (Eneroth3)
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, the correct way of writing is to have a space between amount and unit.

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    #7

    Silly Boyfriend

    Silly Boyfriend

    VNSAMRE Report

    N G
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The 'F' means it's going to be a girl, right?

    Aaron W
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah the 'F' means female, if it said 'C' it means she's having a cyborg.

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    Luis Milian
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    he was 100% sure he was scare tho

    Russian Otaku
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    100 means 100% chance of incoming baby...

    Sally Hudd
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Get a new boyfriend, this one’s an idiot.

    Chico Martins
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    “Your”... brain damaged for sure.

    Vic
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He thought they were having 100 kids?😂😂

    PAN-cake ;)
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No he thought it said theres a 100% chance shes pregnant

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    #8

    I Proposed To My GF This Weekend And Proceeded To Drop The Ring Down A Gopher Hole

    I Proposed To My GF This Weekend And Proceeded To Drop The Ring Down A Gopher Hole

    MobyMadness Report

    Perry Swift
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Who wants a "perfect" engagement story anyway?

    Laana
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But this is a perfect engagement story 😊

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    Max L.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hope this photo made it into the marriage album. She is laughing uncontrollably.

    Chris Jones
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or crying... but I think you're probably right!

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    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Stick of dynamite is guaranteed to get it out of the hole. But we don't want to hurt the gophers. Somewhere down there there is a girly gopher wearing a really bling belt.

    Vic
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So he was gonna go-pher her?

    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The ring wanted to go back to Sauron.

    Godspeed
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You brought someone to your proposal to take a picture in the middle of nowhere?

    Aaron W
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You made a gopher very happy....

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    #9

    My Wife Thought She Bought Me Socks With Palm Trees On Them. Bless Her Heart, She Had No Idea

    My Wife Thought She Bought Me Socks With Palm Trees On Them. Bless Her Heart, She Had No Idea

    effthegreen Report

    Kaisu
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mom did the same, she bought a phone case with "pretty leaves" on it

    The Girl on Fire
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My grandma bought me a t-shirt from Colorado when I was 8 with " fern leaves" on them.

    Annamay
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Back in the '60's, my mother carefully cultivated the lovely plant she found in the windowbox.

    Donna Reynolds
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Everything matches. No worries. Go have a nap.

    nikki ty
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I wore a cute pair of earrings with this iconic emblem while visiting my Canadian Mom. She was so pleased. "Oh I'm so glad you're wearing those maple leaves," she crooned encouragingly. I normally wear exotic ethnic clothing.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least they match your pj's.

    Rose Brien Harrington
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my mother bought her new house in 1981 there were such plants growing in the back garden (with a police sergeant living two doors away). Since none of us knew what they were we left them there. It wasn't until her niece, a detective with NYPD came to visit that we found out. I dug them up but I didn't know what to do with them, I couldn't very well burn them! We put them in the rubbish bin eventuallyi!

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    #10

    I Asked My Girlfriend How Badly Her Screen Was Cracked After She Dropped Her Phone. She Sent This

    I Asked My Girlfriend How Badly Her Screen Was Cracked After She Dropped Her Phone. She Sent This

    dsubpo Report

    Lisa J
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I, too, am dumb. It took far far too long.

    Cláudia Santos
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For me too... Had to read the comments to find out what was wrong... Silly me...

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    Maija Nahtmane
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Considering the fact that my screen is also broken, it all matches perfectly 😂

    Mary Montejo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Picture perfect, no harm done!!

    Thomas E S Thomas
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    St Johns Bay? That's awesome. Hope she took you there with her.

    Irina Rachow
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Still don't understand - no damage, what am I missing? *whoooosh*

    Kim Wheeler
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She sent a "Screen shot".. Of what's ON her screen! 😂😂 It's not like taking an actual pic of the screen! 😂😂

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    #11

    I've Heard Of "Painting Yourself Into A Corner" But My Wife Took It A Step Further. I Don't Even Know...

    I've Heard Of "Painting Yourself Into A Corner" But My Wife Took It A Step Further. I Don't Even Know...

    power-cube Report

    Max L.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Leave her there until it dried. Hand her sandwich and a bottle of water and head to the pub.

    Geoffrey Holland
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How exactly is he going to hand her anything?

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    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Give her a volleyball so she can call him Wilson.

    Nicky OldfieldDesciple
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My Friend when I was in school lived in a house with a basement with a wooden floor. One saturday her father was tasked by her mother to varnish it. He wasn't best pleased as he wanted to watch the football. But he went down and began his work. He literally painted himself into a corner. But in that corner he had in it garden chair, a cool bag and a radio. He sat in the chair cracked open a beer and listened to the football commentary on the radio and he had to stay there as he was surrounded by wet varnish. It got him out of other chores for the rest of the afternoon. He even had it so he was sitting under a window so my friend could pass him snacks through it .

    AnnaB
    Community Member
    Premium
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don't believe it. First off, why would you varnish a floor by hand without protective gloves?

    Mary Hurst
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Because she’s dumber than a box of rocks?

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    Id row
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Poor planning, but the floor looks amazing.

    Den Star
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not sure I buy this one. Seems a tad staged.

    Ben Smith
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Don’t buy this one at all. This pic is a set up

    Podunkus
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agree completely. Zoom in. The woman is laughing her a*s off.

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    Sara Holt
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She’s a hard worker. Give her a break.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She did a beautiful job, if you can ignore the footprints...

    Foxxy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my dad was installing our above pool and fence he had a trailer with sand for the base. Everything had been all done, the fence put up BUT they forgot to get the trailer from the backyard first. They had to take the fence down again to get the trailer out. Oops lol.

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    #12

    My Wife Tried Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner For Us And Actually Burned The Cook Book

    My Wife Tried Cooking Thanksgiving Dinner For Us And Actually Burned The Cook Book

    unclemerle1775 Report

    Katri
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This needs a specific set of skills

    Han
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm 100% certified in burning boiled water.

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    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    just a little crispy on the edges, cut that part off and you can still eat the rest of the book

    Άρης Παπαδόπουλος
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Important - Warning: "Cook" is hereby used as an an adjective, not a verb. Do not actually cook the book.

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Cook Book?" From the looks of those burn marks, it looks like she was trying to summon a demon!

    Pamela24
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Was the turkey alright, though?

    Avril Mason
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My son set water on fire. I have no idea how. Nor does his science teacher.

    jenjie.newt
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It looks like Satan was just clawing his way out of the underworld

    Rachel Ward
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My dog has tried to eat only one book: The Joy of Cooking original edition.

    Luke Bouley
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL I remember as a kid that we had a neat cookbook that had this interesting circular design on it i had never seen before. it wasn't until I was older I recognized it as a burn mark from our stove.

    Kevin Thompson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow! I thought we were the only kids who's mom burned the cookbook! We had the same pattern on the back of ours.

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    Shannon Richards
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm going to guess that there's not much counterspace in the kitchen. I've lived in several places with such small kitchens that I had to use the stove top as a counter space. Burning or melting non-food stuff happens. Now, if it's a chef's dream kitchen....

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    #13

    Wood

    Wood

    ImmediateLetterhead Report

    SykesDaMan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That Wood is so hardcore, you have to be +81 to play it!

    未周 陸
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    No Kidding! Look at that Graphics! It Is A Jungle Out There!

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    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    'the end of the world is near, all of humanity is wooded!'

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    took me a minute.... i was looking for the case too then realized it was doom.... oh geez

    Noel Benavente
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That sequoia at the end of the game... jeeeezz!!! :O

    Centu Rionick
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh man, I played this game for a long time when I was young. Took me a while to realize that its what started a whole list of different types of tics which I developed over the next years. Thanks Doom

    Ian Taggart
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The chainsaw screenshot makes this infinitely funnier.

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    #14

    My Wife Got Our Daughters Matching Shirts

    My Wife Got Our Daughters Matching Shirts

    Dadalot Report

    Aaron W
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Teaching them irony at a young age.

    Niall Mac Iomera
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Minions are the antithesis of uniqueness.

    Alan Smith
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So will they be when they are both wearing the same thing.

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    Max L.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, cool move. None of them will question.

    Mark Johanen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    When my daughter was a pre-teen, she told me that there were a group of Goth kids in her school. "They want to be non-conformists", she explained. "Just like all their friends."

    Jace
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is how hipsters work: every one is a unique individual... in exactly the same way as each other...

    Charles O
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    A situational oxymoron . . .

    Anja Schmidt
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    at least you could personalize the mouth in the middle XD

    Lola Robison
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Unique, Ironically or Ironically unique!

    Sandi Leach
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Adorable. You should walk them around a busy place like the mall.

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    #15

    My GF Wondered Why I Bought Plates For Christmas That Said "Oh Oy Oh" On Them... I Had To Tell Her She Was Holding Them Upside Down

    My GF Wondered Why I Bought Plates For Christmas That Said "Oh Oy Oh" On Them... I Had To Tell Her She Was Holding Them Upside Down

    ClaimTheIntersection Report

    Άρης Παπαδόπουλος
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you turn it 90 degrees, you can also see it as 2 people jumping around a calligraphic "g"

    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sounds like a English pub Santa :p Ho Oy! Ho

    comboplush
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For celebrating Chrismukka of course!

    Podunkus
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brilliant multi-denominational design!

    smerv
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I thought 'ho ho ho' couldn't be nastier

    kurisutofu
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nevermind, I read the explanation in reverse ...

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    #16

    Asked My Wife To Look For A Chucky Mask So I Could Scare The Kids. She's Too Innocent

    Asked My Wife To Look For A Chucky Mask So I Could Scare The Kids. She's Too Innocent

    Tbergz Report

    Marysue Watches
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Or maybe she is smarter than this idiot who wants to traumatize his own children...

    Jennyne
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's actually pretty terrifying...

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Um, yeah, maybe an adult man should rethink his desire to scare little children! What's wrong with this dude?

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That mask is still pretty scary if you ask me.

    Josiane Roy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Be careful who you call and idiot. The Kids May be referring to children trick or treating at their house on Halloween and not their own kids. Looks like someone needs to think twice themselves.

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh, so it's okay to traumatize kids as long as they are not your own?

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    Jo Choto
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely going to scare the kids either way.

    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, it is still a grown man with a ginger-doll head. Don't see the problem here :P

    StonedPanda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That would scare the hell out of me!

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    #17

    My Girlfriend Asked Me Why Do I Have A Jesus Figure

    My Girlfriend Asked Me Why Do I Have A Jesus Figure

    amundsenkalmah Report

    SimplySnips
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She probably had a little too much of Qui Gon Gin....

    A
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, you could pop him into a Christmas nativity set and he'd pass as a sheppherd.

    glowworm2
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair, he is missing his lightsaber and does look a lot like Jesus.

    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At first glance I thought it was Jesus as well although I still haven't had a coffee yet so I feel my actions are justifiable

    Lil Bare
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is a genius because Lucas freakin stole his characters from the bible (as well as ancient japanese, assyrian, greek culture) I would not be surprised if Qui's looks were based on some great messiah/father figure/ healer and matyr.

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He didn't “steal“ them. He used ancient steteotypes. The Jesus from the Bible was already a recanned version of much, much older myths, as were Noah and the flood.

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    Jackie Nettleton
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least she isn’t as bad as the old lady praying to Lord Elrond though

    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I have an actual Buddy Christ! I used to have it attached to my dash.

    Thenatural
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    To be fair...it might of been her polite way of saying "grow the f**k up!"

    StonedPanda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You should say I ask him "What would Jesus Do (if he were a Jedi master)?

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    #18

    My Wife Calls Me In A Panic And Says "The Helicopter Light Came On In My Truck"

    My Wife Calls Me In A Panic And Says "The Helicopter Light Came On In My Truck"

    imgur.com Report

    VeryDarkMatter
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It looks more like a yellow submarine to me

    My O My
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brilliant 🙄... We al live in a yellow submarine *singing

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    Loretta
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How the f*ck is that a helicopter??

    Octavia Hansen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    One of my friends thought the seatbelt light was a guy holding a gun . . .

    Pretty Pangolin
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She didn't know about Flight Mode? Now she can fly home with the groceries!

    Rissie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Oh gosh no, that's the submarine light warning you your engine's flooded!

    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. I thought I was bad when I told my mom that they personalized her dash and pointed to the word AIRBAG. When I woke up I knew I made a mistake by standing too near.

    Tiny Dynamine
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lucky you! Only 1 in a million people win a helicopter ride.

    R.s. Potter
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, the dreaded "check engine" light. It was coming on sporadically in my vehicle and driving both me and the techs at the dealership bonkers.

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    #19

    Asked BF To Put Away Our Dog After Letting Him Out To Pee

    Asked BF To Put Away Our Dog After Letting Him Out To Pee

    He insisted he could handle it even though he had just received Dilaudid at the hospital for a kidney stone. BF was completely baffled as to why I was looking at him strangely.

    ilaich21 Report

    smerv
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The cat has some questions too

    Jo Choto
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Has four legs, has fur. Close enough.

    Magpie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    But who's cat did he kidnap?

    Id row
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Is the cat's name Dog? Because that would make sense.

    Mo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    ...is the cat even yours?

    jenjie.newt
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The amazing part is getting a cat inside a box without serious injury. Though I guess the Dilaudid would help with that

    Nami Tantrum
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    plus being on stong opioids makes it even more incredible that he actually managed that in the first place with or without injuries

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    Shinigami Duk
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't know if it's the lighting or the camera but the cat's rainbow eyes look really cool :3

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    WHY are people locking their dogs in cages!!

    TheExtremeSmell
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Animal jail they clearly did some crime. I remember my dog had a bad drug problem and stole my car and sold it. I was like this cage is gunna hurt me more than you. Sadly he joined a dog cage gang and came out worse than he went in

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    #20

    Asked Wife To Pick Up Some Bleach While She Was Out Doing Errands. Her Exact Words After I Looked At This Like Wtf Was “It Was A Little Pricy But At Least It Smells Good And Not Like All The Other Bleach”

    Asked Wife To Pick Up Some Bleach While She Was Out Doing Errands. Her Exact Words After I Looked At This Like Wtf Was “It Was A Little Pricy But At Least It Smells Good And Not Like All The Other Bleach”

    jeffy983 Report

    Falcon
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The fact that it has "0% bleach" on it makes this so much better.

    Marcellus the Third
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you're going to list what's NOT on the package, you need a bigger bottle, "0% of your daily salt intake; 0% fibre; 0% uranium; ..."?

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    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Probably just registered the word bleach when rushing.

    meAgan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's.... written on the package......

    BusLady
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She actually opened the bottles and sniffed?

    Shirley Heyn
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And I'd like to know, how many bottles she opened to smell them before deciding on this one???

    Nikki D
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They sell laundry sanitizer? Do I need it?

    Mrta Brzoza
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lysol? We use it to disinfect hospitals

    Koalamonster
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Bleach smells good don't lie to yourself

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    #21

    My Psycho Girlfriend Uses A Timer To Wake Up Instead Of An Alarm

    My Psycho Girlfriend Uses A Timer To Wake Up Instead Of An Alarm

    bubysnack Report

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Plus, it's more dangerous, 'cause there's no snooze button!

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    smerv
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least it isn't the calculator

    rats
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    u tryna tell me that dont work.... wthell

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    Doober
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why exactly does that make her psycho?

    Catherine Eugenio
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is actually smart. This way she can control how long she sleeps for and her sleep cycles. Makes it easier to wake up and your body will function a lot better

    nanashi
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    at least she got 8hr of sleep

    Poppy Petal
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So always she wakes up at night she already knows how long she still has to go!

    Nickname
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And when you look at it in the middle of the night you can see the sleep you're missing in seconds

    Emilie Harvey
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    dumb or kind of brilliant in that you're dictating the amount of sleep you want to get?!

    Id row
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    At least you don't have to worry about whether it's set or not. With a timer, you can actually see the time counting down. It's kind of brilliant actually. There's been days my alarm didn't go off even though I thought I set it. This way it'd be sure to go off.

    Jace
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    iOS has a bug where alarms fail to make noise. https://iphone.appleinsider.com/articles/19/07/14/are-your-iphone-or-apple-watch-alarms-not-going-off-heres-how-to-fix-it

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    Den Star
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes I do that to, I wanna know how much time I have left to sleep, not what time it is.

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    #22

    I Told My Wife To Set A Reminder On Her Phone. Apparently We Have Different Ideas Of What That Means

    I Told My Wife To Set A Reminder On Her Phone. Apparently We Have Different Ideas Of What That Means

    Foreknown Report

    smerv
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And it's a Galaxy Note 3...

    Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The Note 3 is a big phone so she can fit two more post-it notes on the case.

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    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She is actually a genius. If her battery dies she will still get her reminder.

    Άρης Παπαδόπουλος
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well, this works better and you won't miss it, snooze it or kill it by mistake

    Doober
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ha! I literally do this EVERYDAY!

    Bored Fox
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I still use sticky notes to remember stuff. I am 33 years old and I know older people who use various notification apps to remember stuff. I just don't want to learn to use the notification apps.

    Jim Bielik
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    How are you a functioning adult and don't know how to set an alert on your phone? Do you ever forget to breathe?

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    Pamela24
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah, I definitely don't do that. Not ever. Nah ah.

    Barbara Baxendale
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Nope, she's got the same idea's as me !!

    Justgail Jones
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The family took my sticky notes away

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    #23

    Found This On My Girlfriend's Butt

    Found This On My Girlfriend's Butt

    bungled Report

    N G
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's how you control her, you must have pressed the sleep button

    Martti Laurson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Since when does a butt starts from below the skirt and go all the way down to the back of a knee?

    Quant
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    clue: it's not the gf that's the idiot

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    HOUSE
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Looks more like her leg but okay

    Ben Smith
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yeah...so, that’s not her butt.

    Lola Robison
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Guess who flunked anatomy 101? No wonder she went to sleep!

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    earringnut
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damned that's relatable. *sadly and with zero irony*

    Max L.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ah, that's where it is.

    BusLady
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    After he spent the last 15 minutes looking for it

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    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well? Did ya press a button just on the off chance it might work? I would have.

    Just Curious
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your girlfriend has a long “butt”.

    JZhao
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    And you regularly check ur gf's butt?

    Patrick McKemie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    We know who wears the pants in that family. Also, who is control since she has the remote.

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    #24

    My Wife Texted To Tell Me Her Car Smelled Like It Was Burning. Turns Out She Drove 18 Miles With My Push-Broom Under Her Car

    My Wife Texted To Tell Me Her Car Smelled Like It Was Burning. Turns Out She Drove 18 Miles With My Push-Broom Under Her Car

    vault34 Report

    earringnut
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thoughts and prayers for the witch's family.

    Bobert Robertson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love this! the local street sweeper union must have been in an outrage "they took our jobs!"

    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now I have an episode of south park in my head the "they took our jobs" episode was the best

    Load More Replies...
    Valerie Linares
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It seems like the idiot here is the one who left the broom under her car... just saying.

    Slinkman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    and they become neighbourhood of the year because of the best swept streets ever known to man.

    Trudy Brodsky
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Streets and Sanitation wish to thank her!

    P Allen
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There's an 18-mile strip somewhere that's clean ASF right now...

    Aaron Smith
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So that's one of those special brooms you can only push? haha!

    Marcus Fleming
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This post has introduced me to the term 'push broom'. Never used in Europe. Is it US English?

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    #25

    I Swallowed Tweezers

    I Swallowed Tweezers

    My boyfriend came to the hospital to meet me before surgery and I asked 'did you say you were here for the girl that swallowed the tweezers?' he said 'of course! When am I ever going to be able to use that line again?!?'

    OnlyEightAreMilhouse Report

    TheAnimeGirl
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm sorry but...HOW ON EARTH DO YOI SWALLOW TWEEZERS!!!!

    Podunkus
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Practice, practice, practice...

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    Agfox
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My then 58yo wife broke 2 bones in her foot one evening so I took her to hospital & they kept her in overnight. The only bed available was in the post natal ward - which enabled me to ring the hospital the next morning & ask to speak to the 58yo in the post-natal ward. The switchboard operator laughed & told me my wife was now widely known by staff despite being there for less than 24 hours

    Koalamonster
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    For everyone saying this is fake- I watched a medical show (not like House or Greys Anatomy, a show about weird medical cases) about a girl who mostly swallowed a fork. It got stuck. There's a good chance she was bulimic. If they lose the majority of sensitivity from repeated purging people will sometimes use other things to get farther down their throat to trigger the gag reflex. So, there's always a chance it's fake- but it's not that unlikely. (Basically they get stuck because they're putting the object back there to trigger the reflex but when they DO trigger it things contract and then they lose their grip on the object and then there's not much they can do.)

    Podunkus
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This was from a subreddit: https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/3xwgbw/i_swallowed_a_tweezers_my_boyfriend_came_to_the/ . FWIW, the patient’s explanation was as follow: “Ok. I was trying to get something that got stuck in my tonsil out with them. It got a little slimy and they slipped so then I coughed thinking I could cough them up. Just caused more siliva and down they went. I WAS terrified. And I felt like a huge Ace at the ER:( All went well though. They did endoscopic surgery. Took about 2 hours. Just a sore throat and a sore body. I guess they told my BF that they had a hard time getting it out. Lesson learned!”

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    Jeny Kennedy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So tonsil stones...are gross. And there are a ton of videos and pictures of amateur dentists out there using all kinds of implements, from "pore cleaning" tools, to tooth picks, to nail files, to tweezers in order to dislodge the stones. I can absolutely see someone accidentally swallowing one of those "tools" on accident. As far as the x-ray, it looks like a legitimate x-ray if a swallowed foreign object.

    Ang.stl
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tonsil stones? The infected pustules on the tonsils? Maybe because my tonsils were taken out when I was so young, I’ve never heard of any such thing.

    Load More Replies...
    Kathy Baylis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You can manipulate x-rays by laying an object under or over the thing you’re x-raying. I dated a Rad Tech when I was younger, and he told me the story about the x-ray of a penis with a broken chicken bone under it, which I believe is a common prank in Rad Tech X-ray classes.

    SweetCee
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What.... what exactly...were you tweezing??

    Lululoohoo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How in the world was that possible?!?!?!?

    jenjie.newt
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow, I can't even swallow pills

    MRaina
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    when that last hair is too adamant to come out

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    #26

    My Wife Complained There Was No Code On The Scratch Card She Was Given...

    My Wife Complained There Was No Code On The Scratch Card She Was Given...

    quickbrowngoat Report

    Bonny Saxon
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hardcore gambler you've got there, dude!

    earringnut
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It was a code to see a sneak peek of someone elses wedding. I'd say this person's wife isn't as dumb as he's making her out to be.

    Norman Yenney
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Fgs THAT was the winning ticket!! 🎫

    J. Kasilo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Definitely not a gambler...

    E FourOFour
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    First of all, Who TF needs a "sneak peek" of a wedding?

    Roberto Durante
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    not everyone have a decoder in his phone

    Justgail Jones
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Thank goodness one I am not guilty of 😅🤗

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    #27

    My Wife Using An Outlet

    My Wife Using An Outlet

    jthe357 Report

    Katri
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Hey, if it fits...

    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That's not only stupid but dangerous

    Martha Meyer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What on Earth is this socket collection for? Never seen something like that before.

    Kay Slusher Mastro
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It is a common US style outlet with 2 USB connections.

    Load More Replies...
    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Damn I hope that's a gfci outlet cuz that could burn everything down if that makes a connection. Those 18650 lithium cells have no sense of humor.

    M O'Connell
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It wouldn't as the 120V connection would be on the housing of the USB mini-B, which isn't electrically connected to any of the 4 USB signal pins. Cheap charger-type cables don't even have a shield connection so the metal part of the USB-A connector wouldn't be live at mains voltage either.

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    Id row
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm having a hard time believing that's real.

    MRaina
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she is keeping your house charged,,

    louis porter
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Tell her in bed you'll also use any hole that fits.

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    #28

    My Girlfriend Bought Me A Dash Cam For My Birthday And Not Knowing It Can Overwrite Old Footage, Bought Me Ten 64 GB SD Cards

    My Girlfriend Bought Me A Dash Cam For My Birthday And Not Knowing It Can Overwrite Old Footage, Bought Me Ten 64 GB SD Cards

    elsteeler Report

    Michael Naegele
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wow. Silly. But i think she loves you really.

    Natters
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now he better not FORGET her birthday

    Load More Replies...
    Thomas E S Thomas
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As a photographer, I would love this gift. 640 GB could hold 18,000 photographs or three days of video.

    3ke
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Why complain? Now you have lots of storage.

    Mark
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Perhaps she knows you have lots of accidents ;)

    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That girl loves the *(&#&^ out of you. Seriously dude, you need to check her trash every day.

    J. Kasilo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OMG! That is the greatest thought - who knows what she thinks can be trashed...

    Load More Replies...
    Lisa Weibel
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well i bet that was expensive 😅

    Nicklas Linder
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "Hey honey, let's open a bottle of wine and watch one of those dash cam vids from the car tonight. I'll get the wine and you pop a card in the VCR."

    Malwin Wellham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How thoughtful , who wants to loose dash cam footage by overwriting

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    #29

    When Your Husband Takes The Instructions Literally

    When Your Husband Takes The Instructions Literally

    konner_mac Report

    Valerie Linares
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can't decide if this is dumb or just lazy (he didn't want to open and separate the chicken so he did this instead).

    Hisseefit
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Brilliant actually. Now he will never be asked to do this chore again.

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    Omag
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I think the nice thing is that he did what you wanted even though he failed to understand what you meant.

    Aria Whitaker
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    LOL at all the men getting defensive in the comments!! Too funny.

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean, I get it, because being called "inherently stupid because of your gender" isn't very nice. Also, in before someone replies "now they know how women feel".

    Load More Replies...
    Id row
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Men are very literal. You have to verbalize the steps. Then when you do, they get annoyed and say, "I know that, I'm not an idiot."

    smerv
    Community Member
    6 years ago

    This comment is hidden. Click here to view.

    Oh the fragile litrralel men

    Load More Replies...
    Michelle
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    FINALLY, one that shows how men can be stupid. I was getting pissed at ALL of the ones only talking about gfs & wives.

    StonedPanda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    You thaw one, and use the bag for the other - brilliant - green solution! Male minds rule!

    Pamela
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Double plastic helps stop freezer burn! :D

    Leo H
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Women need to explain how they want things done

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    #30

    Sorting Paperwork, Wife Asked If I Still Needed My Guitar Sheet Music

    Sorting Paperwork, Wife Asked If I Still Needed My Guitar Sheet Music

    ImtheMe Report

    Sheila Weila
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In her defense, most guitarists don't know what music looks like either.

    Vernice Aure
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Say what? That doesn't even begin to look like a tab sheet. Oh well, at least she asked before tossing it.

    Id row
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she's legally blind, that's understandable. Otherwise...how do you even make that assumption? What kind of sheet music is she used to seeing? Maybe she's been trying to play printer alignment pages all these years.

    Master Markus
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What kind of music is she used to seeing? One with a lot of rests, apparently?

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    Lola Robison
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Sheet music? Isn't that what what tape recorders are for?

    Omag
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can read what it says but ive never seen anything like it before

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    DC
    Community Member
    5 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I love that song, but the progression right after the intro is tricky af...

    J. Kasilo
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ohh! My printer doesn't do dat... None of my past printers do dat...

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    Jace
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did she not read the thing?

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    #31

    My Girlfriend Made Pasta Last Night And Wanted To Keep It Warm For Me...

    My Girlfriend Made Pasta Last Night And Wanted To Keep It Warm For Me...

    eaglesfanone Report

    Max L.
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she has grounds in physics, she nailed it.

    Julia Daxenbichler
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't see the problem here...most of the heat would've escaped through the top, so this would surely keep it warm for a while despite the small holes, right?

    Michelle
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I agree Julia, the holes at the bottom obviously let air in, but even with the cover on the top it's going to get colder & you just need to heat it up. At least with the top it won't stick as much. This wasn't the most stupid one out of them all. What was she expected to do??? Keep it in boiling water for hours so it's MUSH by the time he gets home? Now she could have put the colander into a pan of water on simmer.

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    Foxxy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She had good intentions.

    Siv Øiesvold
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Pasta and rice contain spores of Bacillus cereus, a bacterium that can cause food poisoning. The spores can survive cooking. If pasta or rice is left at room temperature, the spores can grow into bacteria. These bacteria may produce toxins (poisons) that cause vomiting or diarrhoea.

    Melinda Burge
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Depends how long it is left, doesn't it? 1-2 hours is okay, right?

    Load More Replies...
    Mandy Delaforce (PC Girl)
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It took me way too long to see the clear glass lid. I was wondering what that grey thing was... ha ha ha ha ha h a

    Chad Kook
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She tried, that is the important bit.

    Tecolote
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    AWWW...poor thing! She meant well :).

    Honey
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's the thought that counts..

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    #32

    I Heard My Boyfriend Yelling That His "Eye Drops" We're Burning His Eyes

    I Heard My Boyfriend Yelling That His "Eye Drops" We're Burning His Eyes

    Rainbowpoops Report

    Talia Johnson
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My mother put nail glue in her eyes instead of the antibiotic eye drops she was given after her cataract surgery...oops.

    Kim Mahood
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How stupid to make the packaging so similar...l

    Alan Smith
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    they are very different. its only the bottle thats the same, but thats because certain bottles of certain sizes only have generic standards. So they probably dont have much choice. or its the cheapest choice that everyone goes for.

    Load More Replies...
    Augustine von Freiburg
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I am so paranoid about this. I double check EVERY TIME.

    Valerie Linares
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why careful reading of labels is important!

    Magpie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you are using eye drops there is a good chance you can NOT read the bottles when your eyes are sick.

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    Magpie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    knittin'kitten I think the grammar police like to feel superior. It usually just makes other people annoyed.

    Load More Replies...
    Lil Bare
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Relable the left one 'Eye-sight-removal-drops', lock them in a metal box and rush him to monica's exboyfriend Richard. He worked with blind kinds in africa!

    Dorothy Parker
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Any excuse to see that man. Except now he has dyed chia hair.

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    Kimberley Thom
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    days ago I read on this website that a groom was temporarily blind during his wedding for he put the wrong drops in his eyes. I wish I remember what kind for I remember thinking and yelling that the size of the bottle itself should have been a clue.

    Donald Holder
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    OUCHERS! This is why you seperate meds from everyday solutions like eye drops. When I worked in the ER we had a girl brought in because she thought the super glue was her contact lenses solution. Took the surgeon 3 hrs to "unglue" her eyelashes. Luckily she didn't damage the cornea, but went around eyelashless for months.

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    #33

    My Wife Bought A Cast Iron Skillet From Amazon

    My Wife Bought A Cast Iron Skillet From Amazon

    madlyalive Report

    meAgan
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well if you have a pet rat

    The Cappy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In her defense, that might have been the seller misrepresenting things too

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    Ashley Say Whaat?!?
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She probably thought she was getting one heck of a deal too.

    Benj
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    "I couldn't believe the bargain! A whole pan for $1.99!"

    Freya the Wanderer
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This is why it's better to shop in brick & mortar stores for certain things!

    Peggy Vincent
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    purrrfect for melting butter for lobster or crab dipping!!!!

    Augustine von Freiburg
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Those are for single eggs or something similar. Single small pancake? I keep meaning to get one....

    Cassie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Walmart sells them as part of a single-bake cookie set around Christmas. Why anybody would want just one cookie is beyond me, though.

    Load More Replies...
    Kimberly Young
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've had way too many experiences of ordering things online and getting a size I definitely was not expecting!

    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    See, that's the real problem. Everywhere you look they are downsizing.

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    #34

    Here's How My GF Heats Up A Tortilla

    Here's How My GF Heats Up A Tortilla

    xrd_evilfox Report

    Katri
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That is so wrong!!

    Vic
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yup, you apply oil first, So it doesn't stick

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    Li HM
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    As Mexicans we do this sometimes... but we’ve had a lifetime of training

    Vernice Aure
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So you have the Fire Department on speed dial?

    Perry Swift
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I very reluctantly upvote this. The stress this image caused nearly prevented me!

    Amanda Sherland
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I've seen that before! My best friend is from Mexico and she would do this too!

    Lea Springstead
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This works but you have to have the heat on really low and flip the tortilla quickly, watching it very carefully.

    Grace Brown
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Your suppose to keep it moving, turning it as it heats up. You don't even need the whole burner, just the corner. Granted there are other better options to heat tortillas, if you pick this way, at least do it right.

    Michelle
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Grace, tell us how to do it instead as I only ever used a pan & I don't use toxic microwaves. Thanks

    Load More Replies...
    Janice Seagraves
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My husband's family heats up tortillas the same way. I fry it in butter in a pan, and they are appalled.

    Richard Portman
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    They don't like butter, maybe? That's ok, to each their own. Sounds like maybe they love you.

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    Den Star
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So do I, but gas burner on low actually works.

    LaDonna Hulcy
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    seriously that was the only way when I was a kid...I was much better at it since my tortilla didn't get stuck.

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    #35

    My Girlfriend Thought It Was A Good Idea To Put The Dog Bed In The Dryer

    My Girlfriend Thought It Was A Good Idea To Put The Dog Bed In The Dryer

    gnarbro365 Report

    Legoinsinööri
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Makes one wonder if popcorn could be made in dryer...

    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Yes yes it can I have done this as a child. I threw a bag in the dryer on hot and it popped my popcorn, it made a hell of a mess in the dryer but it popped my popcorn. if you are doing yes I was grounded for a week

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    PAN-cake ;)
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was popcorn at first

    Valerie Linares
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It looks like popcorn! But, in her defense, there are some dog beds that can handle the dryer just fine.

    Brigit Mitchell
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    i thought that was popcorn for a split second...

    Lola Robison
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did too. It looks like something my boy would have tried to do. We had a dryer once that got so hot it would get the zippers & buttons on jeans so hot they'd leave burn marks.

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    Paola Martz
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My hungry brain thought for a second that those where butter popcorns coming out from a microwave hahahaha

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    #36

    My Friend's Wife Doesn't Understand Perspective

    My Friend's Wife Doesn't Understand Perspective

    bondo84 Report

    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lmao kids in the hall.... the battle between the head crusher and the face squisher was my favorite battle

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    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'd say since she is showing you how big it looks to her from her POV she understands perfectly.

    Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe they are talking about something else. He thinks something is as long as the leaf and she is correcting him.

    StonedPanda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That must work well in the bedroom!

    Jace
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What is this photo even illustrating about her?

    Jakub Macák
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Maybe that's because we made women believe that small is 20cm.. :D

    Sofia Murat
    Community Member
    1 year ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    It's not that bad, she is just slightly silly, but not an idiot.

    marnidarr
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The leaf is taller than she is! Crazy!

    Leo H
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Are we talking about penis size?

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    #37

    While Watching The Football Game Last Night My Wife Ask, "Why Do They Tell You What Political Party The Players Support?"

    While Watching The Football Game Last Night My Wife Ask, "Why Do They Tell You What Political Party The Players Support?"

    MemphisRains Report

    Katri
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Can someone explain to a dumb non-American ?

    Jo Choto
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So for politicians in the USA, you will see the name followed by their party initial, (D) for Democrat and (R) for Republican. In American football, when someone is a rookie (new player in the NFL) they also get an (R) after their name. So wife thought it was a political party (R) not a rookie (R). Hope that makes sense!

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    Kusotare
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    In this context, it stands for "rookie", or a first-year player.

    Patrick McKemie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The (R) means he is a Rookie and currently playing his first season in the league.

    Jason McNeely
    Community Member
    2 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The (R) stands for republican in the political world. In the sports world, (R) stands for rookie.

    Linda Robinett
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    So what party does the Quarterback support?

    Lisa Wood
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Now she could start a thing with that question. "So they don't have to kneel sweetie"

    Leo H
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The r refers to his status as a first yr or rookie player

    Lisa Hertzel
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I can not even go there! SMH in disgust.

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    #38

    GF Asks About That "Aids In Space" Song I Was Singing In The Shower. Almost Lost It When She Sung It Back To Me

    GF Asks About That "Aids In Space" Song I Was Singing In The Shower. Almost Lost It When She Sung It Back To Me

    Alhoshka Report

    Nicky OldfieldDesciple
    Community Member
    6 years ago (edited) Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    There is actually a word for this: Mondegreens. Mondegreens are most often created by a person listening to a poem or a song; the listener, being unable to clearly hear a lyric, substitutes words that sound similar and make some kind of sense. American writer Sylvia Wright coined the term in 1954, writing that as a girl she had misheard the lyric "...and laid him on the green" in a Scottish ballad as, "...and Lady Mondegreen".

    The Frog
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If this is indeed real, that's awesome :-) also I have a habit of doing this all the time, I now (thanks to Google lyrics) dont have to.. but find it really funny what I've been singing all this time, what the real words are :-|

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    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Lemmy woulda busted a gut over this one!

    Louis Holler
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    who sings motorhead acapella in the shower?

    Jay Tesst
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    This can now never be unheard again

    Lola Robison
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Ace of Spades!! Isn't that like Judy in Disguise with Diamonds?

    Jo Davies
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I actually thought it was "Deassious fadess" for years!

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    #39

    Spent The Afternoon Installing These. My Wife, Ladies And Gentlemen

    Spent The Afternoon Installing These. My Wife, Ladies And Gentlemen

    professor_doom Report

    Marky Mark And The Funky Bunch
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Good chargers (i.e. original Apple or Samsung) provide 2.1A with variable output to get the fastest charge on your device. These wall ones often provide straight 1A charge.

    AlphaPuck
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Not if you buy the wall outlets with 2.1A built in... like I do.

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    Ben Smith
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Her way works just fine. Looks like you wasted an afternoon bro.

    knittin' kitten
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    it doesn't matter if it's not broke don't fix it

    Jus
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I don't understand. There are two round holes in a socket in my country, sometimes a pin and that's it. What is this monster here? Why is it wrong?

    Benderong
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    He spent some time and effort installing USB ports into the wall, just for his gf to continue using her normal charger. It charges faster, but meh

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    Luis Milian
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I did this as well, my girl's excuse "the phone charges faster"

    Degeru
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Well... She does have a point... If you have a phone that supports quick-charging etc then having a compatible charger would charge it faster than any regular usb port... So most probably your girl is right and using her charger makes it charge faster...

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    Chris Sprucefield
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Wall socket chargers - 1A of s****y power, just waiting to blow up your device, compared to a 2.1A properly regulated quality charger...

    Israel Martinez
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    That particular block is 1.2 amp (I have like 6 of them at home) ... the larger blocks with the removable plug are 2.4 amps ... most wall socket chargers are 2.4, but it's shared between the two ports so two phones will get 1.2 amps each ... in her case, she could have, likely, gotten the better charge from the wall ...

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    Brian
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I mean it's not that dumb. I put one in my bedroom because I could but I almost never use it because it does not fast charge my cell phone. So I can't really say it's that dumb.

    Tonje Aashaug
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    The bottom holes looks like a shocked face

    Jace
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did you explain to her what you’d changed?

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    #40

    Girlfriend Said "The Underwater Key Symbol Is Blinking". Took Me A Minute To Decipher

    Girlfriend Said "The Underwater Key Symbol Is Blinking". Took Me A Minute To Decipher

    Crap4Soul Report

    Luis Milian
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    she was not worried about the Watering Can?...

    tuzdayschild
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was the genie symbol. When it lights up you get a wish.

    Billy Beecham
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    How the hell does that thing blink? It's a pointer and it's not even anywhere near the worry point.

    TrashPandaru
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If you can't identify the lights and symbols on your dash (and what they mean), you should not own a car.

    TheKnightOwl
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Agreed. Right now I'm feeling very grateful my daughter took up an automotive's subject at school and is considering doing an apprenticeship. She's just gotten her licence and destroying her car through ignorance is one less thing I have to worry about.

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    StonedPanda
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Did she park her car in the neighbor's pool again!?

    Candy Taylor
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My friend calls it a Gravy Boat! LOL

    Lola Robison
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    What about the "oil" can, or as my niece called it "Aladdin's Lamp".

    Danny Heath
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I thought it was Aladin's Lamp? :-)

    Pretty Pangolin
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I had a neighbor who somehow reached adulthood without knowing what the 'check oil' light meant...he just kept driving until he cracked the block.

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    #41

    My Coworker Sends Pictures To Her Husband All Day. This Is Her Technique

    My Coworker Sends Pictures To Her Husband All Day. This Is Her Technique

    imconservative Report

    Doodlebug
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    She just wants to text it. Simple and direct. Also lots of companies have policies about not using social media or personal e-mail with the company servers.

    Taryn Wallace
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Many companies don't want you taking screen shots and using your work email for personal things but I have NEVER been at a company where they tell u that you can't have your phone on the floor...Amazon was the only place who did that and it was for security purposes but what this lady is doing is completely understandable

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    Non-New-Toni-An
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    If she can't use the computer for social activities then this is the thing to do, the idiot here is the person who added this one to the article...

    Laura Pantazis
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Meh, I've done this. I'll be on the computer and want to send a cartoon to my friend quickly through snap. It is easier to take the picture on the phone and send it rather than going through all the other steps of sending a screenshot. Plus, it counts towards the snap streak, lol

    Ashley Dopp
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I'm not following why this is on the list.

    troufaki13
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    Μaybe that's what she intends to send?

    Amy Pattie
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I do this - so much easier sometimes, especially when I’m working on an adobe file - why export something when I can just show pics of the updates?

    Perfumista Perfumista
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    My company does not allow outside emails for some departments.

    Saulo Frota
    Community Member
    6 years ago Created by potrace 1.15, written by Peter Selinger 2001-2017

    I just did this. I'm on boredpanda on my work PC and of course it would take way longer to find the same image on my cell phone.

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